#and it’s always a trick because it’s never about what you can do but about that the person just shouldn’t violate or treat someone like that

[chosolar]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈ wanna be yours!

gojo satoru x shy!femreader

part 2

flirty!satoru didn't think much of you when he first met you. yeah you were cute and he saw you often behind the counter at his favourite coffee shop, but you kept to yourself that the only thing he knew about you was your name. next time you hang out with them, he was determined to at least get to know you a little better.

flirty!satoru started asking to go out with only you after a few months, which you weren't suspicious of. suguru had a lot of responsibilities, and shoko was always tired and preferred staying home, so you didn't think much of it when it was only the two of you going out.

flirty!satoru is always paying for you during your "hangouts". satoru will never let you pay for anything because he will always have the provider mindset (what a man).

flirty!satoru hates sharing clothes, even with a close friend like suguru. he's grown up as a spoiled only child so he hates any kind of sharing, but he will never say no to giving you his hoodies!! he is in love with the way his hoodie so is large on you that it basically engulfs you. he just thinks you look so adorable when you wear his sweaters.

flirty!satoru loves sleeping beside you. after a long day, he likes to come over and he doesn't care if it's on the bed or your couch, he loves snuggling up to you and feeling the warmth of your body against him. the first night you slept over at his apartment, you left early in the morning because you felt embarrassed so now satoru wakes up early to prevent you from doing so again.

flirty!satoru enjoys making you flustered IMMENSELY. everytime you hand him the house keys, he'll let his fingers slightly intertwine with yours, imitating hand holding. if you ask him to grab something from the top of the cabinet, he'll cage you in his arms before you get a chance to move out the way and he'll press his body onto your back before handing you the thing you asked him to get. his love language for sure is physical touch.

flirty!satoru who is so physically affectionate with you, it's like he'll die if he's not touching you in any way. he's quite sneaky too, when you're sitting on the couch beside him, he'll do the good ole "yawn and stretch" trick to put his arm over you. when you're watching a scary movie with him, satoru would pretend to be scared to get closer to you and if he's feeling extra bold, he'll hide his face into the crook of your neck, his lips being dangerously close to your skin.

flirty!satoru notices the way you try to take sneaky glances at him when you think he's not looking. he basks in the fact that even though you're not officially together, your eyes are always on him (the same for him about you ofc). sometimes he'll even look back at you and see if you'll continue the eye contact but he knows you'll turn away (he loves doing this because he thinks that it's so cute you can barely hold eye contact with him).

flirty!satoru is speechless when you get clingy with him when you get a couple of drinks in your system. after everyone left satoru's penthouse, you stayed behind, tipsy and unable to even walk straight. he takes a sit beside you on his couch, tilting his head to look at you trying to stay awake. you caught him off-guard when you crawled into his lap, you're situated in between his thighs with your legs crossed on top of his right thigh. you lean your head on his chest, and he instinctively puts his arm around your waist so that you don't fall back. you nestle your head into his chest and muttered, "you smell good".

as shy as you usually are, he wanted to keep seeing you like this. a side of you that only he can see - clingy and more outgoing (also very promiscuous but no one else needs to know).

flirty!satoru takes time out of his busy day to come pick you up when you're off, especially if you're working closing shifts. friends pick each other up all the time, what's the difference? it's not like satoru came all the way from the other side of the city, speeding the entire way, and running a couple of red yellow lights... he just didn't want you to wait for him outside where someone sketchy might come up to you.

after arriving in front your apartment complex, you offered him dinner as a thank you, and there's no way flirty!satoru would ever decline your cooking! after a hearty meal that satoru rates 10/10, he suggests watching this new movie suguru was telling him about.

midway through the movie you end up falling asleep, your head leaning onto the side of his arm. he can tell that you're uncomfortable with the position so he scoots forward on the couch, letting your head fall onto his shoulder and having you snuggle up to his arm.

satoru ends up closing the tv soon after and carrying you to your bed. he fixes the hairs that are covering your face and pulls the duvet over you. after ensuring that you're sleeping comfortably, he goes back go the living room to close all the lights when he notices your phone ringing with notifications.

omfg forgot to tell u guys but we finally saw the guy she was talking about 12:35 am

she wasnt lying when she said hes so fine 12:35 am

@[username] pls tell me he has friends 12:36 am

are you guys seeing or what!!! ;) 12:36 am

the groupchat you had with your close friends from work was filled with the coworker who you closed with gushing over satoru. she went on about how he waited for you at the front of the shop, that he opened the door for you, and even introduced himself as a "close friend" of yours (with a wink).

satoru couldn't help but smile at your phone, looking through all the times you've mentioned him to your friends. he writes a quick message to your friends before closing the app. like he came to do, satoru closed the lights all around your apartment then made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and falling asleep soon after.

flirty!satoru who after that night, becomes more confident in his advances towards you. he's been so affectionate that even suguru and shoko are questioning your relationship. suguru notices that satoru's homescreen is not his fav celebrity, but rather a candid pic of you! he also saw a glimpse of your contact name on the white-haired man's phone. had suguru known better, he would've thought the two of you were already dating.

flirty!satoru was hyping himself up the next week to actually ask you out. he was going all out for you, with a small hike to a cliff that overlooked the skyline of city and there would be a picnic blanket with your favourite foods inside the picnic basket with arrangements of your favourite flowers surrounding the blanket, the whole shabam!

he calls you.

and calls.

and calls.

but you don't answer.

it was getting closer to the time that he needed to be on the way, but you still weren't answering. he was about to leave his penthouse when he received a text from you.

hey satoru I think I need some space right now. I'll text you back when I feel okay, hope you understand. 6:27 pm

and for the first time in his life, flirty!satoru's stomach dropped.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello! this is my first time posting on tumblr and ngl i'm kinda nervous but whateverrrr I have so many wip about the jjk men i need them out of the notes app NEOW this is also not proofread :)

[godmadeaterribleerror]

If You Only Knew Pt. 2

Main Masterlist

Read on A03! - Part 1

Tags: Soldier Boy/Female Reader, tooth rotting fluff, pining, emotions (oh no), smut (fingering, oral f!receiving, p in v)

Title from I Can See You by Taylor Swift.

Summary/Warnings: Request from an anon! Ben is experiencing feelings. Real feelings. For a woman. But his reputation his proceeds him, so trying to win her over is taking a while. Once he gets a chance, he simply fucking refuses to blow it.

Author's Note: Nothing better than making a man be down bad.

Word Count: 8.5k

He’d pulled out the fucking stops. Ben didn’t even know what the fucking stops were, but he’d pulled them out. He was going to make every goddamn romance in history look fucking pathetic. She was going to swoon and fall into his arms like a movie, and he’d kiss Her like the hero he was, and then he’d have Her forever.

Just Her. All for him. 

If Ben did this right—and he would, because he was a goddamn gentleman and not a fucking pussy asshole who would fail the first woman who’d managed to make his heart move—he’d get to have Her forever. He’d have one fucking person he didn’t need to prance around like a monkey for, who he could walk home to, smile at, and fucking mean it. One person he actually liked, who didn’t want to see him do a trick or say the right thing, who just wanted him. Who spoke to him without fear, but still with reverence, because Ben would make Her fall for him so fucking hard, she’d finally feel all these stupid goddamn emotions he’d been plagued with over the last year. 

Ben would do whatever the hell he needed to for Her feel this. This strange fucking pull to be near Her all the goddamn time, and serve her, and talk to her. He’d throw everything he had into showing Her that he felt it—more than he’d ever felt fucking anything—and that if She could feel it too, he’d never allow her to stop feeling it. He’d fucking worship Her. He’d be whatever She needed him to be. 

And She just seemed to want Ben to be Ben. 

Which made him fall harder. 

And made him all the more resolved to romance the fucking Christ out of Her. 

He was picking Her up. Standing outside Her apartment with a bouquet of flowers like some goddamn idiot. Shifting on his feet as he waited for Her, because her roommates said she was still getting ready, and Ben wasn’t allowed inside. 

Her roommates didn’t really seem to like him. Ben didn’t really fucking care what they thought. They weren’t Her, and she was the only one who fucking mattered right now. Maybe ever.

Christ on a cross, that would be nice. If She got to be the only thing that mattered to Ben. If Ben got to be the only thing that mattered to Her.

He should knock on the door again, because it could not take that fucking long to get ready for a date. Ben had done fucking everything—suit, shaving, shoes, cologne—and that had taken him five goddamn minutes. Maybe those fucking bitches were trying to talk Her out of this. Trying to tell Her that Ben wasn’t serious about her, and she shouldn’t waste Her time with him.

She needed to waste Her time with him. Ben was here to do fucking everything with Her, and that included wasting time. Together. If he had it his way, they’d waste time all fucking night, and then keep wasting it for another million years.

He needed to break that fucking door down. He’d fix it after, too, for Her. He’d do fucking anything for Her, and if she was having doubts, he needed to kill them-

The door swung open only a second before his fist went flying, and Ben felt like he’d gotten punched.

She was flawless. Fucking gorgeous, designed by goddamn heaven and sent to Earth like some star that never burned out. Ben had never seen anything like Her, in front of him and smiling. Perfectly colored lips and styled hair and sinful body, more beautiful every second because She was being beautiful for Ben. She always looked like a fucking incarnation of Ben’s fantasies and dreams—no matter what She wore or how she did her makeup—and he’d seen Her look like this a million times for charity galas, but it had never been for Ben.

She’d chosen that dress for him. She’d done Her hair because they were going out. She picked a lipstick she wanted Ben to see.

And if Ben did this fucking right—did this like She deserved—he could have that color staining his cock by the end of the night. 

“Hi.” She whispered, giving him a sweet smile, and Ben was going to fucking explode. “I’m sorry about my roommates. They’re protective.”

“Good.” He grunted, glaring over Her head. “You deserve to be protected. But they don’t have to fucking protect you from me!”

She raised Her brows, even as a faint, pretty flush crept over her face. “I don’t think that’s going to convince them, Ben.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” He muttered, moving his gaze back to Her. Christ, She was too goddamn beautiful. It was trapping him in a loop. “You look fucking hot.”

“Thank you. You, um, you too.” 

Her voice sounded breathy, and She was looking at Ben like she wanted to jump on him. He needed to keep that look on Her face for the rest of goddamn time.

The stops. Ben needed to pull out the fucking stops.

“These are for you.” He shoved the flowers into Her hands, scanning over Her pretty features to check that they had the intended effect. They seemed to. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and Ben could hear her heart do a little stumble in Her chest, so he was pretty damn sure they’d worked.

“Ben-“

“There’s paper in my car, too.” Ben jumped in, because She needed to know about everything before She formed an opinion. “And a fuck ton of pencils.”

She blinked at him. “Why?”

“You said you needed more paper and pencils.”

“I said-“ She swallowed, Her body leaning a little closer to his. That seemed good. “I said I needed more paper and pencils, so you bought me more paper and pencils?”

Ben frowned. He was pretty he’d made that damn clear. “What the fuck else was I supposed to do.”

“Nothing.” She smiled at Ben. The soft smile. He’d fucking nailed it. “Thank you, Ben.”

He grunted, offering Her his arm. “Are you ready.”

She nodded, disappearing back into Her apartment for only a second to put the flowers in a vase before returning, fucking smiling at him again, and letting Ben lead Her out of her shitty apartment building to his car. She looked fucking right in his car. The seat molded perfectly around Her, she was beautiful at Ben’s side, and this was where She belonged. Where Ben could touch Her—his hand curled into a fist in an effort to not touch Her, not yet—and she could be comfortable. In luxury. 

She deserved luxury more than fucking pussy Ben knew. More than the assholes who already had it, more than the brown-nosing dick-riders who chased it at Vought. Ben could fucking give it Her. She didn’t even have to ask, and he’d move the world onto a platter at Her feet. Because She was real, and beautiful, and so fucking sweet Ben got a little fucking high on it when She spoke. When She told him about all her students in the car, and giggled at his jokes. When She smiled at him in the golden light of the road, took his hand out of the car with sparkling eyes, and leaned into his touch as he guided Her into the empty restaurant.

He could get used to this. To the look of wide, blatant awe on Her face as they were led to their table—it was a nice fucking restaurant, and Ben had picked it out specifically for Her, so that was another damn good sign—and the way that whenever their eyes met, she’d give him that soft smile again.

“Ben.” She whispered as they sat down. “Where are all the other people?”

He shrugged, giving the waiter a curt nod as he poured the water and left them alone. “Not fucking here, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, I know that. Why aren’t they here?”

“Probably because I rented the place.”

She sat a little taller, and Her expression open as her lips parted and brow furrowed. 

“What’s-“

“The whole restaurant?” Her voice was barely a breath, and Ben frowned. 

“Obviously,” He grunted, trying to work out why the fuck this was freaking Her out. “Do you not like it?”

“Not at all, it’s just-“ She pulled her lower lip between Her teeth, fingers fidgeting with her napkin. “You didn’t have to do that. For me.”

Ben scowled. “Of course I fucking had to-“

“Ben-“

“Sweetheart, if I didn’t, people would be gawking at us all damn night. Sticking their fucking noses in your business, crawling up your taint like they’re always up mine.” Ben leaned forward, holding Her wide gaze. She needed to know he was serious. That She was damn worth this, and Ben would keep Her safe. Keep Her at peace, away from the fucking vultures and monsters, at Vought and in the media. “This is for us, babygirl. I’m not going let any fucking pussy bother you, let anyone look at you who you don’t want to. And nobody,” he shot Her a wink. “Is going to crawl up your taint but me.”

She giggled, Her body relaxing, and Ben counted that as another fucking victory. “That’s gross, Ben.”

“It’s true.” He shrugged, bracing his forearms on the table. “Until you say the word, nobody’s going to know fucking shit about us.”

“The waiters will know.” She pointed out, even as the pretty flush returned. “About… us.”

Christ, the word us had never sounded so fucking good. Ben never wanted to hear anyone but Her say it again. He never wanted it to mean anyone but them. Her and Ben. Us. Something he could defend and protect and keep just for them, together.

He chuckled. “The waiters will keep their pussy fucking mouths shut, if they know what’s good for them.”

She rolled Her eyes, but her smile remained. “You’d murder a waiter for me?”

She was joking. Ben would murder a waiter for Her, if she asked—She never would, but if she did, she wouldn’t even have to say please—but She was joking, so he just laughed.

“For you, I’d kill the damn president.”

Another fucking giggle escaped her. Ben wanted to bottle that sound and shoot it into his blood like goddamn heroine. “That’s not very American of you, Soldier-“

“Don’t fucking say it.” He raised an accusing finger at Her, even as a smile tugged at his mouth. “It’s Ben to you, sweetheart.”

She hummed, raising Her brows slightly. “Is it Ben for all the other girls, too?” 

“Wouldn’t know.” He leaned forward with a smirk, lowering his voice to the rumble that always seemed to make that slack, wanting expression pop up. “There aren’t any other girls.”

“Oh.” She whispered, and there it was. Ben had Her. So fucking close. “No girls?”

“No girls,” Ben’s voice was firm as he said Her name, because he’d had countless other women in his bed but none of them had been his. None of them had been even fucking close to what She was, what Ben hoped she could be to him. “I was damn serious, sweetheart. I haven’t fucked another woman in a year.”

She swallowed. “For me?”

He nodded, watching Her carefully, and she gave him a soft, slightly nervous smile.

“No sex?” She raised Her brows. “You must have a lot a free time now, huh?”

Ben laughed. It was loud and rolling through his chest, breaking the static silence of the restaurant because Christ, he needed to have Her. 

“Smart fucking mouth, babygirl.” He smirked, leaning forward. “Not wrong, either. You’re going to get a fucking master.”

He winked, and there was a soft hitch in Her breath.

“I’m getting a master?”

“I haven’t be keeping it in my pants for fun,” Ben drawled Her name, and he could get addicted to that flush and small gasp. “We’re going to fill up that free time together.”

“Oh. Okay.” 

She was gaping at Ben—practically fucking drooling—and if he grabbed Her face, he could kiss her. Here. Now. Blow Her fucking mind and fill that free time right here on the damn table. Fill Her on the damn table-

“What have you been using the free time for?” She asked. “While you’ve been, um, keeping it in your pants.”

He shrugged. He’d waited a year. He could wait a few more hours to fuck Her stupid. “Watched TV. Smoked.” He tilted his head at Her. “What do you use your free time for.”

“I, um, I don’t really have free time,” She mumbled, and Ben frowned. He’d have to fix that.

“What would you do?” He pushed, ready to mentally mark whatever he’d need to keep around for Her, once she had that time. “If you had the time?”

“Maybe a hobby?” She pulled her lips between her teeth, and if She kept doing that, they wouldn’t make it to actual dinner. “I could make art. Or write. Or bake.” She tilted Her head. “I think I just like making things. Seeing that I did something, and it was me. I did it.”

Ben nodded. He could get paint. And more fucking paper and pencils. And whatever the hell people used to bake. He didn’t understand Her making something shit, but Christ, he liked Her for feeling it and saying it. She was so fucking caring and sweet, he was going to lose his damn mind. “That why you teach?”

“Yeah, actually. I think it is.” She gave him an odd look. “What about you? What would you do as a hobby?”

Ben opened his mouth, and She shook her head.

“Don’t say drugs. Or me.”

He scoffed, and fuck, She looked hot when she was smug. “Fuck off, Sweetheart-“

“Was I wrong?”

“No.” He grumbled. “But I don’t fucking do hobbies.”

She snorted. “Everyone does hobbies, Ben. You just haven’t found one you like.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but he was still grinning. He didn’t know how the fuck She did that to his face. “What, you think I’m going to start fucking knitting, like some damn pussy grandma-“

“You could collect something,” She offered, and Ben might fucking die if She kept sounding so sincere. Like She actually fucking cared that he found something to enjoy. “Or do a sport-“

He snorted. “I don’t fucking do sports. No one can keep up with me, it’s not fucking fun.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She swallowed, and Ben didn’t miss how She glanced at his arms, and chest, and hands. How that expression like She wanted to jump on him was back. “How about woodworking?”

Ben raised his brows. “Woodworking.”

She hummed, nodding with a small, teasing smile. “It’s a very masculine hobby, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s probably that, or coaching little league.”

Ben chuckled, but his brain started to spin into images of coaching little league for their kids. And he’d be more fucking thrown by that image if similar ones didn’t flash through his brain all the damn time. If he didn’t constantly fucking imagine a real life with Her. If he didn’t think about it all the goddamn time, because She was it. Ben wanted all of Her, and he’d be damned if he didn’t give Her his own all once he had her-

Right before Ben could damn it, throw himself over the table at Her, and prove to her that he was damn serious about his with his mouth and hands and cock—that he’d never fantasize about fucking Little League for any other woman—the waiter interrupted them to get their orders.

Ben ordered first, and She just took what he was having. She didn’t even glance at the damn menu.

“You know,” he drawled Her name, raising his brows. “I just fucking eat whatever the hell people put in front of me. That food might be fucking shit.”

She didn’t laugh like he’d expected. She just gave him an odd, unreadable look, and moved on. It wasn’t until the end of the night, when the food was gone and Ben felt fucking high on Her laugher and beauty, that it was mentioned again. When he asked if the food was worth the risk, and that look came back, this time with a question that threw Ben right off his goddamn axis. 

“What’s it like?”

He frowned. “What’s what-“

“Having your life be a brand? Designed by Vought?”

Ben’s blinked. If it wasn’t Her asking, he would’ve stormed off with a roar. But that wasn’t some fucking gotcha question, meant to make his head spin and test his temper. She just wanted to know, so she could know Ben. And if that was all She was asking for, fuck him if he wouldn’t give it to Her.

“My job is the brand.” He shrugged. “And Vought is full of fucking pussies, but they do their damn jobs, I do mine, and we all fucking go home. That’s all it is.”

The Vought assholes went home to families, and Ben went home to cold, empty riches, but that wasn’t the point. Ben did his job, and he was fucking good at it, and the brand—Soldier Boy—was the fucking job. Simple as that.

“Do you like it?” 

Her voice was still fucking soft. She was going to goddamn kill him, if She kept fucking caring. If She kept making Ben think about how he fucking loathed it. It was filled with gold and wealth and fucking nothing. All the light was just cameras flashing. All the warmth only stayed on his skin, never sinking into his muscles and organs. All his co-workers were fucking pussy idiots. And that had always been enough. It had always been all he wanted.

Until it wasn’t.

Ben leaned forward, holding Her wide, open gaze. “I like that it got me to you.” He muttered, and that was the goddamn truth. “And you’ve fucking got me, babygirl. I meant it, there wasn’t a damn lady before you. Not like this. And I’ll keep fucking saying that until you get it. Solider Boy might be the brand, might be the job, but I’ll keep it in my pants for another damn year and pick up fucking woodworking if I get you. Understood?”

There was a long moment of silence as She scanned over his face—looking for whatever She needed to find—and Ben felt an itch on his skin and a prickle over his heart. It might be fucking nerves.

He didn’t care for it.

“Understood.” She whispered, and the nerves vanished into some sort of euphoria as She smiled at him. “Do you, um, you want to go? Back to my place?”

Ben’s grin was unrestrained and probably looked a little feral, but thank fucking Christ. He had Her. He didn’t have to keep it in his pants, because he had Her.

And when he stood up, picking Her up into his arms with a squeal and carrying Her out of the restaurant, he made a silent vow.

He wouldn’t give Her a single goddamn reason to ever leave.

And he’d start proving why She should stay right fucking now.

—————————

Ben’s really strong. And you’d known that—it was the whole Soldier Boy brand—but that didn’t stop you from being shocked by how that strength feels wrapped around you. Pressed right up against your body, arms flexing and muscles shifting under his shirt, his chest and shoulders like a rock, but still somehow comfortable and warm.

You’d like to stay here, in Ben’s arms and against his body, for maybe the rest of your life. It feels safe, but not like a cage. Like a blanket or shield around you, promising that harm wouldn’t even dare to look at you, because only a fool would try to attack something that belongs to Ben.

Fuck.

You don’t belong to Ben. Not in the way you’d want to mean it, where it’s your heart out of your chest and into his hands, and you never have to worry about it again. Never have to worry about anything again. 

It doesn’t help that it feels like you could belong to him. Like if you asked, he would keep you here. Maybe he’d carry you everywhere. Maybe he’d offer his heart back.

He won’t. You can hear his heart pounding, when you turn your head and press your ear to his skin. It’s loud and powerful, and you’d really like for it to move in a rhythm with yours. But you don’t know if you could keep up, and you’re terrified to learn that he wouldn’t slow down.

But your lips graze his neck when you breathe, and you could swear he shudders. That his grip on you tightens, and a low grunt escapes his throat that has nothing to do with walking to the car.

You’re too far gone. This is exactly what you’d been trying to avoid, trying to dodge and weave around with giggles and eye rolls. Belonging to Ben. Making your dumb little heart really believe that he’d care about you in a way that he’d fight for. Falling into him until he’s less taking you, and more being offered to have you. However he’d like. 

And God, if he asks to have you tonight, you’ll say yes. All your previous rules will fly out the window. Rules about waiting a certain number of dates, kissing first before going right into more, or ensuring that—when the sun rises the next morning—you won’t be alone in bed. Rules that would be pointless, because this is Ben and you’ve been dreaming about touching him for a year. He can never know you’ve lost sleep to it. To feeling heat between your legs at just the thought of him, to covering your face with a pillow because just the idea of him was enough to make you scream and moan and wake your roommates up.

Shit. Your roommates. 

You’re going to have to figure out how to justify to them that you will be seeing Ben again, because you hadn’t stopped feeling dizzy and drunk on him for the whole night, and now you’re gone—the last piece of your resistance to his advances gone, your will to not fall in love completely dissolved—and you won’t be coming back until Ben breaks you in half.

That if Ben doesn’t break you—if he chooses to keep you, just you, because for reasons you don’t understand he seems to only want you—but holds you close and stretches tonight into sixty years, you’ll never even bother to try and return.

You don’t know if he’ll want to keep you. He’s placing you in the passenger’s seat with careful movements, but brushing hair from your face with an unreadable expression and restrained hands. He kisses your brow before drawing back up, and he glances at your lips, but he doesn’t touch them. He doesn’t say a word, only closing the door behind him and walking around the hood of the car.

When he drops in the driver’s seat, his hands rest on the wheel, and he stares ahead with a frown. He doesn’t grab the keys from his pocket. He doesn’t speak, or look at you, or move. 

There’s a long and horrible moment when you think he’s done with you. Where everything tastes like ash and dust, and you can feel your body deflating and crumbling. Of course he wouldn’t want you. You’re normal and boring and wouldn’t look right on his arm. You’d fit there—you know you would, because you’d slotted right into him all night like you were meant to be there, and now that will haunt you for the rest of your life—but you wouldn’t dazzle and sparkle and flash. You aren’t a good accessory. You’d cleaned up best you could for this, but your clothing was cheap, your lipstick cheaper, and your hair styled by your own hands. Hands with little bumps on the fingers from writing, that you did your best to keep soft but also ended up dry, because your apartment’s humidifier was broken, and it’s the middle of winter.

You’re nothing horrible. Nothing worse than anyone else. But also normal. So painfully average, just another face that walked on the street. 

Ben should be with someone bright. Someone blinding who wore lipstick that cost as much as that fancy dinner, and clothing that could probably out-sell this car. Someone who had their hair styled by a team, because they were American royalty like Ben was.

Girls like you don’t get to linger in divinity. They don’t get more than a night.

And you might not even get a night. Ben isn’t moving or talking or teasing about how he’s going to touch you, so he might not want to. He might have been trying you on, and now he’s ready to throw you out because he’d realized you didn’t look as good on him as he’d thought you would-

“We’re going to my place.” He grunts, and you blink at him.

“Your place?”

He nods, and finally looks at you. He’s so handsome. You’ve never seen anyone have a face like that. You’d been being dramatic and lovelorn before, thinking of him as divinity, but there couldn’t possibly be another reason for him looking like that.

Untouchable.

Reaching out to touch you.

Ben’s hand cups your face, keeping your gaze trapped on his, and his words are a low rumble that rip through your body like a wildfire. Your skin and heart are ablaze, and you’re completely ruined, and he’s only talking.

“I’m going to touch you, babygirl.” He mutters, and you think you whine. “Going to fucking ruin you.”

This isn’t fair. He looks like he’s about to ask you a question, and you’ll never be able to give an answer that isn’t a breathless plea.

“Ben-“

“But,” he pushes on, smirking as your breathing start to get ragged. “I’m going to have you screaming my name all fucking night, and I’m not interested in having an audience. I fucking love you, but your apartment is goddamn fucking. Dramatic roommates who won’t let me fuck you like you deserve, too goddamn small, and not nearly fucking good enough for you. So come back to my place.”

That’s probably supposed to be a question. Ben’s tone didn’t sound like he was asking—more like ordering, or telling you what was going to happen—but he’s also not starting to car or letting go of your face, so you think he’s waiting for an answer.

It takes a moment, because you’re trapped in his voice, still echoing in your head. 

I fucking love you.

You don’t know if he’s aware he said that. If he is, it doesn’t seem as if he’s about to elaborate.

But he did say it. And he’s not taking it back.

You’re kind of done with testing the waters. With holding yourself back from what you want for the sake of your sanity. 

Sanity that’s already long gone anyway. Razed and wrecked and shaped into the same sound of Ben saying I fucking love you, all while touch you and looking at you and speaking to you, and you alone.

“Okay,” you whisper, and you can’t really imagine saying anything else.

Ben nods, his hand moves to your thigh, and you can feel something changing inside of you. His touch is so measured—so carefully controlled with a big, rough hand that kneads mindlessly at your skin—and it’s igniting your whole body up in a way you’ve never felt. It’s like lighting in your blood and water on your skin, soothing and electric and so completely consuming. 

He really is consuming. You’ve never met anyone whose very presence devours your every thought and nerve until you’re glowing from inside. Even if you weren’t being branded by his touch on your body, weren’t drowning in his cologne, you’d still only be thinking about Ben. He’d said you looked hot, and under his cannon-like attention—loud and powerful and demanding—you’d really felt like you were. He’d said there were no other girls, and you believed him because you could feel the words over your bones. He’d said he’d kill the president for you, and it had oddly been the most romantic thing any had ever told you.

Ben’s life was Solider Boy. Soldier Boy’s brand was America. 

He didn’t want to be Solider Boy with you. He didn’t care about Soldier Boy for you. 

And you’d never tell him to kill the president, but if you do get to ask for anything—just one thing for Ben to give you, and only you, because you asked for it—it would be that he keeps doing that. Keeps being consuming. Keeps looking at you like you’re all the stars in the sky, when you’re the one getting lost.

Because you’re so lost. You’d promised yourself you’d be careful, but now you’re lost in Ben, and you’d never chose to be anywhere else. Not when his hand on your thigh is a promise of being a master and filling free time. You’d love to waste free time with him. You’d love to get more and more lost in this odd sense of given security—Ben is here, and he’s built like a tank that’s designed to keep you from horror—for the rest of your life.

And you’d think that was dramatic, if Ben didn’t keep looking at you like that. Like you’re a rare treasure he’d found buried underground, and he’s going to make you shine.

You’re already shining. Just that look—full of promises and stoic, firm care–makes you sit a little taller in your seat, warmth sparking and pooling in your gut like an oil meeting a match.

The explosion is going to wreck you. 

You’re more than ready for it.

Ben parks outside of a shocking normal apartment complex, helps you out of the car, and half covers your body with his—his face bent down and hidden, you barely a shadow below him—before moving you inside. 

This is a normal building. You’re awestruck, how average this place is. You’ve heard about Ben’s house, but it’s further upstate. You’ve been to one of his apartments for a Vought party—and ended up mostly curled near him, but not against him, on a couch—but that was across the city. And this place didn’t have the marble floors and doorman and oil paintings. It was all stained brown carpet and small mailboxes, walking up concrete stairs and passing worn welcome mats.

“Ben?” You lean back to look at him, and he seems vigilant. Watching every corner you turn and tensing at every creek of the building.

He grunts, his eyes falling to yours—something that’s always rough behind them not softening, but becoming honed, and aimed all at you—and you take it as a cue to continue. 

“Where are we?”

Ben lets out a long, heavy breath, stopping in front of another, boring, generic door. “My apartment.”

“Oh.” You look around the hall, then back to Ben. He’s started to fidget with the keys. You didn’t hear him wrong. 

You’re still incredibly confused, right up until Ben pushes the door open.

This is more what you expected. Plush sofas and polished chairs, a glass table and expensive looking art on the walls. It’s a little different that his other apartment—there seems to be more personal things scattered across the room, bits of Ben left out on the side table and shelves—but not at all in line with the rest of this building.

And Ben must see all your questions on your face, because he leans down to whisper in your ear, his arms wrapped around your stomach and light stubble brushing on your skin. 

“Bought this place off the books.” He starts to guide you further inside, his hands rubbing slow, mind-numbing circles on your hips. “Place for myself, when I don’t want anyone intruding or interfering with my shit.”

You swallow. “Does anyone else know-“

“Just me.” He mutters, starting to kiss a very distracting line up your throat. “Not one damn pussy at Vought knows this place exists. Landlord thinks I’m a reclusive artist or some shit. Like I said, sweetheart. My place.”

Ben’s place. Just his place. For his shit. That he doesn’t want intruded on. 

It takes you longer than you’d like to piece it all together. In your defense, you’re a little overwhelmed—in all your wildest fantasies about Ben looking at you and meaning it, you still hadn’t manage to imagine this—and Ben’s not really helping your thought process at all. One hand has moved down to pull and squeeze your upper thigh, the other is still keeping you pinned to his chest, and his mouth has started to wander. Grow bolder. Wet, sloppy kisses over your collarbone and along your jaw, sucking a small bruise behind your ear and making you a little dizzy. 

But you slot it all into place.

And there’s not a thing in the universe that could save you now. Fuck, if anyone tried, you’d probably punch them.

“You’re serious about me.” You mumble, and Ben hums, the sound echoing around your head like a fucked up, love drunk lullaby.

“About fucking time you got it.” He mutters, his hands sliding up to grip your throat. It’s a light touch, barely any pressure at all, but Ben doesn’t need to be firm. He tilts your head slightly back, and you go all the way. Leaning on his shoulder, holding his darkened gaze with your own, slightly dazed one, smiling at him like an idiot.

You can be an idiot for this. For Ben, you’ll be a fucking fool, because you can be. There’s nothing else to do here. Nothing to work for. He’s won. You’re his. 

All that’s left to do fall down. 

Ben smirks at you, that hand on your thigh starting to drift further and further between your legs, and you don’t think he’s going to make this easy on you.

“Do you know how much I’ve fucking dreamt about this?” Ben drawls, his lips brushing over the corner of your mouth. It’s light, and taunting, and in perfect time with his fingers. Playing with the hem of your panties, knuckles occasionally bumping on your clit and making your knees weak, all while he continues talking. “I’ve spent fucking months working out exactly how I want to fuck you, babygirl. Thought about how fucking good you’d feel, wrapped around my cock, how pretty you’d sound screaming my name, how fucking beautiful you’d look all fucked out and wrecked under me, or against me, or fucking riding me. But nothing,” Ben nips at your ear, and you think you squeak. “Could’ve gotten me ready for this. Look so fucking gorgeous just here. Hardly ever touched you yet and you look like a dream.”

You’re going to lose your fucking mind. Ben’s hand has moved to cup you over your underwear, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding shamelessly onto him.

“Christ, sweetheart, already fucking soaked just from dinner.” Ben looks awestruck, his lips parted and breath hot on your skin. It just makes you more desperate. “You like it when I talk dirty? Like it when I tell you how much I fucking want you? How much I need you?”

You moan, nodding like a bobble-head, and he chuckles.

“Tell me what you want,” Ben says your name, pressing his thumb over your clothed clit, and you definitely squeaked that time. 

“You, want you-“

“How do you want me. Get specific, babygirl, want to hear-“

“I want you with me,” you gasp, rolling your hips in search of any friction at all, whining when his grip on you tightens. “Want to have you Ben, fuck- Want all of you-“

You might have ascended. Ben cuts you off with a strangling, heavy, starved kiss, and if it wasn’t the most carnal thing you’d ever experienced you’d have thought it was holy. It’s invasive and rough—his tongue down your throat and his teeth nipping at your lower lip, swallowing your moan when he rips off you panties and shoves one, broad finger into your cunt—but there’s something softer behind it. His hand stays on your neck, but only to tip you further back and grant him more access, never tightening enough for you to really feel it. Your legs give out as he starts to finger-fuck you at a brutal, unforgiving pace, but he also keeps you upright and steady. 

Ben pulls you apart on just his hand—palm rolling on your clit, fingers taunting and teasing on the deepest, most sensitive place inside of you—and he never breaks the kiss. You reach behind your body, wrapping an arm around his neck and running your fingers through his hair, and when you tug it, he groans. The sound moves through your whole body, fueling every bit of your arousal, melting you further into Ben’s body as he picks up his speed. He keeps a rough pace and firm pattern, drags your right up to the edge until you’re writhing against him and scratching hopelessly at his arm in a slight plea for more. You need more, you’re already inhaling him and filled with him but it’s not enough. 

When he finally crooks his fingers inside of you, everything goes white. It’s only Ben sucking on your upper lip and pumping his fingers through your orgasm, only his pounding heartbeat near your ear and ragged breath over your face.

He’s hard. Pressing right up against your ass, and hard, and big. He’s fucking huge. 

You need him. You need him now. 

“Ben,” you tug on his hair again—your voice breathy and weak as your head spins—and he hums against your skin, that sinful fucking mouth sucking small marks along your jaw. “More. Need more, please-“

“Patience,” he mutters your name, and you moan, shaking your head. “I’ve been waiting too fucking long to take this slow. Got fucking months to make up for. You’re not going to be able to walk for a goddamn year when I’m done with you, babygirl, so calm the fuck down, and take what I give you. Got it?”

You nod a little stupidly, and Ben draws back from your neck with a smirk, teasing along your pussy with those same, sinful fingers before pulling them away and—before you can even whine from the loss of him—bringing them to his mouth. Licking your arousal off his skin, never breaking your gaze.

You can’t be patient. It’s an impossible thing to ask, when he’s toying with you like this. When he looks like that—so fucking satisfied from the taste of you and cocky when you moan from only the sight of him—and wraps his arm back around your waist, keeping you steady as he kisses you again. It should be illegal to be this good a kisser. It’s like a drug right into your bloodstream, making everything just pleasure and Ben. He tastes like wine and smoke and you. That’s you on his tongue.

You’re going to fly out of your skin. 

“Please.” You gasp, tugging on his hair again until that same groan from before rumbles in his chest. “Ben, please-“

Ben squeezes your throat once before dragging it away, prying your hand off his head and kissing your knuckles with a softness that might be worse than the animalistic lust. It’s just a small, tiny second of care—silent, real affection—but you’re still going to go mad from it.

“You want my cock, babygirl?” He asks the question with the most smug grin you’ve ever seen. Like he knows there’s not a world where you’ll say anything but yes. “Want me to fuck you nice and dumb, take good fucking care of my girl?”

His girl. You’ve put it together that he really somehow means that, but it doesn’t change how the words are electric in your body. Your legs almost give out just from the sound of Ben’s deep voice saying them.

He tightens his grip around you, grabbing your chin and tilting your head backward. “Not a mind-reader, sweetheart, give me some fucking words-“

“Yes-“

The answer is barely out of your mouth when Ben hauls you off the ground and starts to move, walking into the bedroom and dropping you onto his mattress. This is Ben’s mattress. He’s slept on it before, and the sheets smell like him and have touched his bare skin.

You’re going to touch his bare skin. He’s ripping clothing off like it’s paper as you crawl backwards, and you barely have time to remove your dress—let alone take him in—before he’s prowling over you, his eyes gleaming and sparkling in a way that makes you start to drool.

He’s completely naked. You want to see him, see all that impossible, powerful glory that’s about to wrap around you, but you don’t get the chance before Ben starts to leave wet, open-mouthed kisses up your legs and your vision blurs with pleasure. He’s so good at this, and you’re not at all surprised, but it still makes every fantasy and wet dream you’ve had feel like a crude, faded sketch. The real thing is a work of art. You’d been joking when you’d called this his hobby, but he’s playing you like an instrument and molding you like clay. He finds his way between your legs, and stays there just long enough to work you into a frenzy. Broad licks up your pussy and flicks of his tongue over your clit, sucking the already burning nerve bundle into his mouth and letting his teeth graze against it until you’re grinding up into his face.

Then he’s moving on, leaving you dangling right on the edge and kissing over your stomach. Up your body until he drags you into a long, heavy kiss, silencing your every needy, high plea for release. He won’t let you have release. He’s kissing you far too passionately and firmly for you to do anything but melt further into him, but God you’re burning up from the inside and he won’t even let you move. He had dropped his waist to pin you down to the mattress, and you can feel him poking again your inner thigh, and fuck-

Ben rises up with a grin, and there’s the awestruck look again. He can’t keep looking at you like that. It’s going to kill you.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” He mutters your name, and you were wrong. That’s going to kill you. How sincere and blunt his words are, like they’re pure fact and not at all subjective. “Never seen a goddamn thing like it.” He rolls his hips against you, and you whine. “Look like a fucking angel.”

You want to tell him that he looks better, or at least thank him, but all you can remember how to do is moan, squirming a little beneath him as he chuckles. 

“You got something you need, sweetheart?”

He rolls his hips again, and your eyes almost roll back in your head as you nod. 

Ben clicks his tongue, leaning back down to speak against your lips. “Need you to fucking say it, baby.”

“Fuck me.” You gasp, because you’re past dignity and dancing around things. “Fuck me, Ben, please, fuck me-“

You yelp as he rolls you over, hauling you up onto his lap and impaling you on his cock in one movement. And when he starts to move—grabbing your hips and guiding them in a smooth rhythm with his thrusts—you know he’s not going to stop proving you wrong. He cares, and this is higher and better than any heaven you could’ve—and had—imagined. This is what’s going to kill you.

Because you’ve thought about this far too often, imagined this exact moment countless times, but it’s still more than you know how to comprehend. Ben’s splitting you open and bumping against all the right places inside of you, the angle pushing him so deep into your cunt there’s not a second where you aren’t on fire. He keeps alternating between wild, demanding bites—hickeys on your throat and shoulders—and gentle, hot kisses on your lips that swallow your every soft moan and whine. Your arms wrap around his neck as your try to drag him impossibly closer, and he smirks, his hold on your hips tightening as he starts to drill up into you.

It’s brutal and sudden and rough—his skin slapping on yours and his gaze burning right into your body—and if Ben wasn’t holding you up, you would’ve collapsed. You might be saying his name, might be begging for more, but you can’t hear it over a fogging haze of Ben, talking so dirty you’re surprised his voice alone isn’t bring you to release.

“Look so fucking hot, bouncing on my cock, such pretty fucking tits, fucking tight and warm, goddamn soaked for me-“

“Fuck,” you try to grind down onto him, but he’s too strong. All you can do is kiss on his jaw and pray he’ll give you more. “Feels good, so good, please-“

“Who’s fucking you good?” He demands, nipping on your lower lip and guiding you in a circle on his dick, smirking as you whimper from the sensation. “Fucking scream it, sweetheart, tell the whole goddamn world who’s fucking you-“

“Ben!“ You almost scream, and you’d be embarrassed if it didn’t immediately earn you another long kiss and groan of your name against your skin.

“There you go,” he mutters, snaking one hand around your body to rub at your clit. “Good girl, feel so fucking good squeezing my cock, so fucking needy-“

“Ben,” Your brow drops to his, and your nails scratching at his neck and shoulder blades. “Please, wanna cum, please-“

He cuts you off with a searing, almost violent kiss, growling down your throat. “Since you asked so fucking pretty,” he jerks his hips up in a rough, blinding movement, pinching your clit at the same time. “Cum for me, babygirl.”

This orgasm crashes through you like a tidal wave. Springing in your gut and washing your body in a burning but comfortable heat, filling your vision with stars and wracking your body with a pleasure you didn’t know you were capable of feeling. This is better than heaven. This is Ben kissing you through your high and still dragging you higher, rubbing his thumb around your clit and palming at your breast as you scream into his mouth.

And you don’t come down. Ben doesn’t stop, and you’re not sure if this is just a million smaller orgasms exploding like fireworks in your body, or if he’s trapped you in an infinite state of bliss, but the orgasm doesn’t end.

And Ben’s not done with you. 

He’s getting rougher. He’s still hard inside of you, starting to throb and lose rhythm with his movements, and you barely have the mind to gasp or whimper when he rolls you back under him, pulls out of you for a brief second, and flips you around onto your stomach. There’s a brief, cold moment where he’s gone—still hard against your thighs but no longer caging you against him—and then he drags your ass into the air, pushes himself back into your dripping, oversensitive pussy, and starts to hammer into you with a pace you can only describe as feral. His balls slap on your clit as he hits somehow deeper inside of you, groaning behind you as you grind back into him, and you’re still cumming. You don’t now know how that’s possible. You didn’t know your body could do that. 

You don’t really know anything but Ben right now. Thrusts becoming short and uneven, draping himself back over you to kiss at your shoulder and throat and behind your ear, pinching and rolling a nipple between two rough fingers, and groaning right in your ear in a way that just keeps everything going. 

Ben grabs your chin right as his hips stutter, turning your head to roar your name against your mouth as he cums. It finally brings you down—when he’s spent inside of you and pinning you to the mattress in his warmth—and you like out a soft, happy sound of content when he kisses your swollen lips with a gentler, easier pressure. It seems like he’s kissing you just to kiss you. Touching you just to touch you.

Laying with you just to lay with you.

“Christ on a fucking cross,” he mutters in your ear, pressing another small kiss to your cheek. “You’re so fucking good, sweetheart. Never going to go a week without this pussy again, best thing I’ve ever fucking felt.”

You smile, craning your neck back to look at him, and you’ve barely started to move before Ben’s flipping you one last time, keeping you caged between his body and the mattress.

And he’s grinning at you. A powerful, wide grin that would look strange on his face if it didn’t feel so natural. You rarely see Ben really grin—all joy and teeth and something unbridled and almost pure—at all, his expression usually rough smirks and more taunting smiles, but this is just Ben, grinning at you. 

And he looks like a human. He’s sweaty, short hair sticking up at odd angles and eyes a little brighter from his own release, and you really think this could be it. That he could be a life you’d be happy to lead. 

Because Ben’s got you. Outside of how he’d just fucked you within an inch of paradise, he’s also pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, and a longer one to your lips, before moving away to grab a towel and clean the mess he left between your thighs. He’s bringing you water and tucking you right against his body, muttering that you should get some rest before round two, because there will be a round fucking two.

“Ben?” You mumble, and he grunts near your skin in a silent acknowledgment to continue. “What… um, I don’t know what you- what we-“

“We’re together.” He grunts, and you let out a long breath of relief. You hadn’t even had to say the stupid, embarrassing question aloud. “Nobody’s touch you but me, and not one single fucking lady is getting their hands on me but you.”

“Okay.” You hum, wiggling a little further into his hold. “Good.”

Ben chuckled. “Real fucking good, babygirl. You’re going to get spoiled fucking rotten.”

You smile, and you’ll fight that later. You don’t want to become only a doll on a shelf just because Ben’s got you. 

But you also think you have him. And that if you asked for the world he’d try and figure out a way to put it into your hands. That if you demanded he not be an asshole about you continuing to work, he’d grumble but relent.

And you can live with that. 

You can thrive with it.

End Note: Once again saying I really think Ben just needs a cool wife to obsesses over and be violent for and he'd chill out.

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[garez19]

yandere! vampire hunter x vampire reader

you did your utmost to hide your silly little secret from your boyfriend. a shame he was always able to see right through you.

warnings/notes: female reader, english is not my first language, mention of injury (not described), not proofread

you love your boyfriend so much. you love alkan, who is a well-known vampire hunter in your town. he’s skilled with his weapons and he knows a vampire when he sees one.

yet you, for some reason, have been an exception to this. he hasn’t found out about your true nature yet. and you’re not sure if he would be as kind as he is once he did. you’d be done, that much was true, but it’d also mean you tricked him. not only a monster, but also a liar you are.

yet, little do you know he already knows everything about you, and he cherishes every part of it. little do you know how he keeps waiting every single night for you to come up to him, crying and confessing, begging for forgiveness. he will be very accepting too, as long as you promise you aren’t going to leave ever -as you pose a serious threat to people in the town-. he will be very tolerant, because how could he do any harm to an angel like you?

as long as you promise to be good for him.

yet you are still stubborn. you’ve gotten weaker as days pass, and alkan is having a hard time waiting especially when he sees your tired body. however, he can’t help but love you a little bit more as you go to such lengths just to stay by his side.

you poorest thing.

if you aren’t willing to tell him the truth, then he would solve it in his own way.

that’s why he is always around you, not giving you time to rest up. he’s always there to watch you, and he never fails to make you feel uncomfortable, as if he knows what you think.

you understand you can’t keep going much longer, and decide to leave to figure it out. yet he still doesn’t let you, coming along with you everywhere you go. and you aren’t even able to protest, because he’s so quick with his “it’s dangerous out there.” excuse. you are trapped. moreover, you are trapped with alkan of all people—the famous hangman of your own kind.

he keeps pressing your buttons. and he finally finds the right one.

“are you okay?” you say, panicked. you knew, you fucking knew he was going to hurt himself when he kept toying with the sharpest knife in the kitchen. hell, it is almost like he did try his best to create a wound deliberately.

“oh fuck… yeah, I am,” he groans. “can you help me patch it up?” he says in pain. you take him to living room with the first aid kit. you both sit on the couch, and that’s the moment it hits you: alkan’s blood smells amazing and you’re about to die of hunger. you try your hardest to do your job as quickly as possible, yet alkan keeps getting in the way.

“wait, it’s too tight, can you loosen it up a little bit?”

“isn’t it a little bit too loose now?”

“can we get another bandage? this one’s all bloody already.”

fuck. fuck. fuck. you really fucked up real bad this time.

yet you try your hardest, and don’t listen to his protests anymore. you bandage his hand carelessly.

you’re done. thankfully, you finally make it. but oh, a shame it doesn’t matter anymore.

you know you can no longer bear with the starvation —the sharp smell of his blood burning your lungs, you find yourself grabbing him. and as your fangs find their way into his neck, you feel the wetness on your cheeks. you know this must be your last meal.

it is your last meal, and you feel blessed it is with your lover.

your hands are on his shoulders. you know alkan, a trained hunter with a handful of abilities, is most certainly able to overpower you. yet he does nothing. he doesn’t try and push you off. he doesn’t cuss you out.

he hugs you. that’s all he does.

“it’s okay, love” his voice is soothing, and it is the first time you hear him talk like this. “you’re okay.” he adds as he caresses your head. his other hand is on your back, and it feels light, like it isn’t there at all.

he winces in pain. yet he keeps soothing you.

“you’re safe,” he rubs your back. and you realize he’s visibly hurt—finally being fed, you come back to your senses.

fuck.

you are absolutely not safe, you think to yourself as you quickly pull away. you are like a scared cat, ready to attack the second alkan tries anything. yet, again, he doesn’t.

his shirt is all messed up, and his neck is bloodied. you can see his face is paler and he definitely looks drained, the scene makes the tears burn your eyes once again.

alkan pulls you towards himself. and then he kisses your tears. softly and slowly. when he finally pulls back a little, he gently grabs your face. his thumb on your cheek, making slow moves like he’s scared of breaking you.

“poorest little thing,” he cooed, “you must’ve been starving for so long.”

you gulped. there’s a metallic taste in your mouth. “I’m sorry.” is all you can manage to let out, and you feel like you can really use an eternal sleep after you just had your last meal. “I’m so sorry.” you say once more.

he doesn’t budge.

“why didn’t you tell me sooner? we could’ve figured something out.” he says calmly, and it all makes you feel like it is gonna be okay, like you are not in trouble at all.

yet you know his calmness means you are in danger.

“let’s get you cleaned, love.”

[reginadeltrash]

Since I've had some free time I would like to present you a new little AU that I affectionately call 'Percy Jackson!Athena is Epic!Athena with brain damage'.

The idea is simple, Zeus' real reason to strike down Athena, during god games was that he's scared, let's remember that there's a prophecy about the child of him and Metis dethroning him, and he always assumed it was gonna be a son, because obviously, it was his father who dethroned his grandfather, and it was him who dethroned his father.

But now he's starting to realise that the prophecy never said 'son', it said 'child', and Athena just demonstrated that she's successfully able to get people on her side, both people that generally like her like Hephaestus, but more dangerous, people that usually don't like her like Aphrodite and Hera.

This is dangerous, so for the first time Athena isn't his favourite little girl, she's a threat to his throne and so he strikes her down to reprogram her; this all started because she met that mortal, she was so perfect and emotionless before, so he's gonna make sure that she never really remembers Odysseus.

But doing it immediately is dangerous, the guy is still alive, he may upset the scheme, so he waits and when both Odysseus and his son die he starts subtly gaslighting Athena, also in this version Zeus is the one who wrote the Odyssey to make Odysseus look a lot worse, and also to make himself look better (he never make the Ody decide between him and the crew and he immediately says yes to his baby girl when she asks him to free him, also he omits the argument in My Goodbye, he just makes it seem like Ody and Athena were never that close to begin with)

He also gets Hera on the plan, he tricks her saying that they have to tarnish Odysseus' memory or else the poor little owlet is gonna be devastated and so non-useful, remember how useless she was after Pallas, glancing at the void for hours.

So, yeah, Hera is the reason Odysseus so blatantly cheats in this universe's version of the Odyssey, because that's the worst thing someone can do in her eyes.

So with the constant gaslighting and the lightnings that are still buzzing inside of her, no matter how much Apollo tries to help, Athena quickly becomes a shell of herself, she reverts to being very lonely, harsh and all together like we meet her in the Percy Jackson's series.

Zeus even agrees to cleanse her scars, just because she was such a good little girl and Athena doesn't even know anymore why she had those scars in the first place.

She tries to fill this void that she has, but doesn't know what it is (a friend, the answer is a friend) but misinterpreting that she believes that it's a romantic connection cause it's basically what everyone around her is doing, thus her mind's babies.

And then, suddenly, after the trial of Apollo, the god of the sun insists that everyone else spends at least a little time with their children, Athena makes sure to do everything in private, she can tolerate a child at a time, nothing more.

And so the moment to go to Annabeth arrives and honestly Athena was sure the Poseidon boy was gonna be there too, they're a bit guarded at first, but she promises she comes in peace, she talks with Annabeth, normal deadbeat mother and daughter stuff (How is school? And your boyfriend? Still like sculpture, sorry it was architecture?)

And then Percy just casually arrives with his baby sister Estelle and he's like 'Annabeth can you hold her for a sec? I need to call my mom for something very important and I don't want her near when a monster inevitably attacks!'

And her daughter laughs, shaking her head 'C'mon, Seaweed brain, I'm sure that the important thing is literally just you wanting waffles'

And Percy laughs like a dork and hands her the baby.

And for a moment Athena is sure that she saw this scene somehow and for a single moment she's in Ancient Greece again, seeing Penelope and Odysseus joke with each other with baby Telemachus being passed around, and for only a little moment she wonders how she knows so much about it, she was merely an acquaintance to the Ithaca royal family, wasn't she?

So yeah, this is the idea, if you have questions I beg you let me know, it would make me the happiest girl, because I have too many ideas!

[thefallenangel2008]

More Autistic Sea Grunkles headcanons because I'm a sucker for them and I love projecting on my favorite characters. I guess you could call this a part 2??? Idk but here it is.

Ok, so, I imagine them having some rules about what goes in the fridge and whatnot because of sensory issues. If Stan has food Ford doesn't like in the fridge he's gonna eat everything possible but that food to avoid it and live off protein pills or however these things are called. I mean, he's already done it while traveling through dimensions so he can easily do it again. Now, when Ford puts food in the fridge Stan doesn't like there's a chance he might throw it away in the ocean (he's already done it twice) and eat only stancakes until the ingredients run out. When they do, he's just not gonna eat. I imagine them both having many foods they couldn't eat as kids but when they got in their respective little adventures (homelessness and dimension traveling) they managed to overcome some of their sensory issues because they had no other choice (and when I say "overcame" I mean managing to get used to the not-THAT-bad-but-still-not-gonna-eat foods). But yeah, they still have a bunch of foods they don't like. :P

I already talked about them not talking when they're overwhelmed but now I want to ✨expand that thought✨ a little more.😍 I already said about them going nonverbal on eachother and comforting eachother when one of them feels overwhelmed, but hear me out. Ford is the quiet autistic and Stan is the loud autistic. Personally I see Ford as the type of autistic person who will regularly go nonverbal when feeling overwhelmed. He used to do a lot as kids Stan has learned the tricks and how to calm him down. And now, when it comes to Stan. Stan never shuts his mouth, never. He's always been the loud one out of the two. So when Stan goes nonverbal Ford freaks tf out because, even though Stan has felt plenty of times overwhelmed, and Ford has been there to comfort him, when he goes nonverbal he KNOWS things are THAT bad. Especially now, when his recovering mind relives traumatic events that happened to him during homelessness. During a particularly bad PTSD episode Stan hadn't uttered a word for a full of 4 days until one night at 3:00am he told Ford to take a break from his research and go to sleep. When Ford managed to coax out of him what was this memory he remembered, Stan had titled it as the "Tijuana Incident" (yes, I'm still not over that one Stanley bit from the website, that old man is a victim and he deserves better).

Also sounds. Stan doesn't really have a big problem with loud sounds, it usually depends on the day, his mood, the size of the room he's in and how loudly the people are talking in said room. But he hates repetitive sounds. Ford is a tad more sensitive when it comes to sound than Stan. Loud noises, more particular. He remembers his ma telling him the story of the day him and Stan graduated from kindergarten and there was a party afterwards, and the loud music had made him cover his ears and cry. He doesn't mind repetitive sounds as much as Stan does. But ringing, he does.

Part 1

[ylangelegy]

svt as haikyuu!! characters 🏐 maknae line.

★ footnotes: i've had this conversation with at least three different people (i.e. a, aspen, viv), but i've only now gotten around to my personal alignments. this is inspired by @heartepub's seventeen if they were in ghibli posts— and is therefore dedicated to her. xo

"KEEP YOUR EYES FORWARD, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ME GUIDING YOUR BACKS!" — chan as yu nishinoya.

boisterous, energetic, temperamental. considerate of his peers despite his shenanigans. loud and tactless. fired up off-court; locked in the moment the game starts. "if we fall, let's fall forward!"

"A DEFENSE WITH NO HOLES DOESN'T EXIST." — vernon as wakatoshi ushijima.

quiet and stoic. has no doubts about his team. blunt, but not rude. unintentionally funny. never sugarcoats or minces his words. "even if i wasn't lucky, i think i still would have worked just as hard."

"STOP IMMEDIATELY PICKING FIGHTS WITH PEOPLE; IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT." — seungkwan as morisuke yaku.

no-bullshit. honest and straightforward. the most hardworking person you'll know. always looks out for his team. short-tempered. "you know, getting nicks and bruises… that's the same as breathing for me."

"I'M LIKE A MORTAL WHO'S STUMBLED UPON A MONSTER'S BANQUET. LUCKY ME." — minghao as shinsuke kita.

self-assured. cares deeply despite his demeanor. logical, mature. the voice of reason. highly observant. believer in diligence and perseverance. "i am built upon the small things i do everyday, and the end results are no more than a byproduct of that."

"THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS MEMORIES. ALL YOU NEED IS RIGHT HERE." — mingyu as atsumu miya.

outwardly carefree and confident. strives to be the best. extremely sensitive. competitive; hates to lose. says it like it is. knows what he wants. "what matters is this— what are we gonna do today?"

"MY WEAPON IS RELIABILITY. BUT... I'M CAPABLE OF NEW TRICKS, TOO!" — seokmin as koshi sugawara.

the mood-maker. a pillar to lean on. he doesn't want to have regrets in the future. can be mischievous. prideful when it matters. love for the game, love for the people. "i want to stay here longer; i want to stay with these guys."

BONUS:

mingyu as atsumu post-timeskip osamu miya. most likely to open up a restaurant of his own (aptly named 'onigiri mingyu'). he loves you; he wants the both of you to eat well.

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

Ford is Not used to being dependant on someone as an adult - especially since Stan isn't dependant on him At All in return. It's gotta be doing weird things to his neurons, he would probably sit like a dog if Stan told him to, he is pathetic amounts of in love with him this is past partner in crime he's his hero, his guide, his Muse, his god, Ford is in a really weird headspace

OOOH i love this version of stancest sm. i know this is likely about the little ford au but i also just love this kind of stancest in regular sea grunkles and kills me. so much of stancest (and tbh just in their canon dynamic) is stan nipping at ford's feet and following ford's lead even their sea grunkles era. a lot of darker stancest always infers with ford being obssesive and controlling too and usually stan lets it, because hey thats their dynamic and its better than nothing.

but the opposite has SO much potentil. ford following stans lead. to think of ford realizing that he's way WAY out of his depth and that he needs stan way more than stan needs him now?? maybe he ALWAYS needed stan more than stan needs him?? after all, what did ford say about how stan wouldve been able to see through bill's tricks?? if they were together, the apocalypse wouldve never happened...

ford would think he's so lost now, lost without any purpose now that bill is defeated and he doesnt want the fame anymore either now that he knows his chase for it is what made him lose his brother, so he feels SO empty. except hes not. theres stan. stan whos strong, brilliant, charming and the most selfless hero ford would ever know.

ford wants to protect him so much but another day of stan saving his ass from a monster they were investigating (because he got too curious again) and ford thinks he could never EVER measure up to the way stan protects him, loves him, cherishes him and takes care of him. it makes ford feel awful, unworthy of this love after he promised he'd do anything to earn back that second chance stan too gracefully gave him. he can't fathom the idea of stan finally wisening up and leaving him even if its no less than he really deserves, because what else will he have anymore if he doesnt have his best friend, his hero, his true muse? it'll fester in his mind, growing and growing and growing, and he shoves it down deeper and deeper as much as he can.

but one night, one bottle and a million inhibitions thrown over the railing of the stan o war, he'll finally break when stan smiles at him while they sit on the deck, looking so happy when that makes no sense.

stan deserves the world, the entire galaxies, and ford can't give them to him at that very moment. he'll start crying, overwhelmed with how much he loves stan and how stan deserves the best— one ford has to grudgingly admit isnt him.

"woah, woah, sixer," stan interrupts worriedly, face falling. "what's wrong? come on, we arent even that drunk yet."

the joking tone makes ford feel worse, because how could stan stop smiling because of him and still try to make ford feel better? "i'm sorry," ford chokes. "stan, god, i'm so sorry."

"stanford," stan says placatingly. ford understands that stan understands too, that this isn't about the alcohol, or about crying out of nowhere. his hands cup ford's face, so large and warm, like a place where ford could hide his face forever with the depths os his shame and stan might even let him. that breaks ford even more. "hey come on, bro, s'okay..."

"don't leave me."

"i'm not leaving you, your big brain knows that."

you should, ford thinks but will never say, because he can't. "i can't lose you again," ford whispers with shaky breath. "i w-wouldn't know what to do with myself—"

"ford—"

"— because you're so brilliant, and brave, and good—"

"— i guess but—"

"—you're so good stan," ford interrupts whatever faux preening stan was going to do. his brother doesnt believe him, and ford practically crawls into his space.

"you are so, so good. you are so good and you don't even realize, i—" ford's breath hitches. "i don't even know how i could ever repay you..."

"pff, alright," stan scoffs, looking away, cheeks bright red and smile unconvincing. "jeez ford, you really are drunk." he laughs, his shoulders stiff and unmoving. "like what, are you trying to suck my dick?"

"is that what you want?"

stans eyes snap back to him, wide and full of shock.

"what?"

"is that what you want me to do?"

"no, ford– i'm not–"

"stan," ford says, reaching his hand now to cup stan's face, and god he's just as much of a perfect fit in ford's as he was in stan's. stan is so much bigger and better than anyone else, but with his own extra finger he just might be fit for ford. "stan, it's okay. whatever you want, whatever you need, i'll do it. for you."

sort of something like that. i really really like to think of a slightly toxic, but like in the "its toxic and also the healthiest way this dynamic can really go about" ending where ford tries to overcompensate to stan with sex and romance and stan is relunctant at first but seeing just how willing ford actually is really starts getting into the whole dom/sub— which fulfills some purpose for ford AND he gets to have stan come all over him so its kind of a huge win on all fronts

[pokespe-rainbow]

Any Tmnt Iteration x Spider-Man!Reader: First meeting

Part 2

You hold the proud title of New York one and only superhero. It's probably been months since that weird spider bite you, and that incident with your uncle's demise probably let you scarred for life, but that's not what we're gonna talk today! Can we please let your dead uncle out of this? Yeah? Thank you!

You've done a lot of things for this city, seriously, from a crazy guy with robotic wings to an electricist that controls electricity. Pretty ironic doesn't? Of course, no version of Spider-Man could be Spiderman if the media didn't drag your reputation through the mud. You can thank that to your boss, Burne Thompson. You almost regret coming to him when selling pictures of yourself, but you were desperate. If it helps your aunt to get to the end of the month, you could take a little of public humiliation. At least one of your coworkers, April O'Neil, is nice enough and always talks good from your alter ego when she's on the scene. In fact, the number of times you've rescued her is enough to tag her of your Lois Lane or your Vicky Vale. She's pretty, but you're not interested!

It was just another normal night, doing your spider things and taking yourself selfies, until your Spidey Sense started buzzing and telling you danger approaches. You keep your camera in their place with one of your webs before waiting for action.

You didn't expect to find an oversized turtle in a skateboard just goofing around. Okay, it's New York, weird shit happens all the time. The Turtle had an orange bandana and a pair of nunchakus on their belt. Oh! And they're naked! Well, turtles didn't have the same genitalia mammals had. In none of your Animal Planet you never saw a crocodile's junk— No Spidey! Bad Spidey! Your Spidey Sense never gets wrong! And if your Spider sense says this Turtle is dangerous, then some truth must be!

"That's some pair of good tricks over there" - you say casually as the Turtle frozes and start looking around - "Up here buddy, on the side of the building."

The Turtle's eyes are surprisingly... Human. Of a pretty baby blue color. Squared head and two holes instead of a nose. You think you could actually freak out if there was an actual human nose there.

"Holy sh—!" - comes out a very human and childish voice. He sounds pretty much like someone your age should sound - "[S/n]! I'm sorry! I promise I didn't do anything illegal! Just don't take me to jail!" - he frenetically screams

"Woah woah, easy buddy " - you put your hands in the air as a sign peace - "I'm not going to do anything as long you didn't do anything, okay? You just don't see a giant turtle every night! A giant lizard? Maybe. I was just curious. You don't plan to do anything in this neighborhood?" - you do you best to out your vest Batman voice

"No Sir/Ma'am No!" - The Turtle stand up straight

"No taking over the city plans I should worry about?" - you ask again

"I promise! I'm a good guy!"

"Very well" - you stayed silent for a couple of seconds before changing the mood - "I believe you!"

The Turtle stays still before looking at you - "You do?"

"Yes"

"You're not gonna run screaming or anything?" - ask the Turtle

"My dude, or dudette or non binary buddy, is that's your wave. This is New York. If you can't stand a pair of wierd shit like giant animals then you're a pussy and you should move out because you're not a yanqui if you're not used to"

"Oooohhh" - the Turtle seems to realize - "Thanks... That's... That was nice, you're the first person that doesn't run away screaming"

"And you're the first person, excuse me, reptile that doesn't try to kill me on the spot. I should be thanking you" - you said as you decide this little fella over there is going to become your favorite person in New York at this point as you jump and land next to him... Her.. They? - "Do you have any name I can call you?"

"Sure! Name's Michelangelo! But my brother's call me Mikey!" - answers the Turtle

"As the artist? You know? The one with the naked statues?"

"Exactly!" - Mikey says before laughing - "Oh, I'm so gonna use that with my brothers!"

Curiosity spikes you. He already mentioned his brothers twice. As much as you like to ask if they're turtles as well you decide to keep your questions for yourself. You don't know how he ended up as a giant turtle, but the world weren't as gentle with the ones that were different.

"Really, wait to you hear this one—" - you were about to drop some lame joke before you could heard police sirens on the distance - "Shoot. Duty calls" - You turn to look at Michelangelo - "Sorry, but I gotta go"

"Sure! Go kick some bad guys ass!" - cheered Michelangelo - "I can't wait to rub I meet [S/n] on Donnie's face!"

"Oh really?" - you rise an eyebrow behind your mask - "Can you tell me tomorrow how it go?"

"Really dude/dudette?" - asked Michelangelo, you could see the starry look in his eyes

"Yeah! Same hour, same place!" - you say as you prepare to swing away - "And don't talk to stangers in alleys!"

"I Won't!" - you heard him answer as you swing away

New York. The city a Turtle and a Spider could get along...

[stars-remain2]

Find the word

How it works: I search for the words previously assigned to me in my latest WIP and then choose four words for you to search for in your WIP.

Thank you @joeyalohadream for tagging me! This was the first time anyone has ever tagged me into one of these and I just feel so honored. Plus getting to read more snippets from “Let your heart be light” just made my lil heart SO happy. Your writing lights up my life, truly! 🎄💕

My words: heat, step, heavy, light all from my upcoming fic “Lucky” for MoTA’s 1st Birthday Bingo. @mota-collab

Heat (I don’t have heat but I do have hot. Close enough. 😉)

Gale’s first mission back after his catastrophic injury will be a repeat of the same mission that nearly killed him: Bremen.

Gale isn’t superstitious, but John’s lucky deuce certainly didn’t do the trick last time. With John in London, he wants to take something of John’s up with him and it’s not like he can take his picture. That might get the guys talking and he doesn’t want a blue ticket home. They’ve been able to keep things discreet the last few months and they have to keep it that way.

At breakfast the morning of the mission, Gale is very intentional about spilling milk all over his dark brown bomber jacket. He jumps up from the table and tells the boys he will meet back up with them after he gets changed.

He heads back to the hut he shares with John and some of the other officers. Luckily everyone is on leave or at breakfast so the hut is empty when he arrives. He goes straight for John’s foot locker, opening it with care, knowing he will find what he’s looking for.

There on top of the locker is John’s sheepskin jacket. He’d stopped wearing it as often because Gale “hates” it so much.

Though John is slightly broader than Gale, something Gale has always found rather comforting (okay, hot), it still fits. Gale looks at himself in the mirror and feels satisfied with his new look. This was the perfect solution to taking a piece of John up with him. And better yet, John would never know. He’d have it hidden back in his foot locker before he ever got back from London.

Step

He’s brought up to an open train car where a group of men are being herded and thrust inside. He can only hope that this train is taking all of them to a Stalag and not to an immediate death. After some difficulty with his ribs, he climbs into the car and tries to find a spot along a back wall, out of the way. He needs to be able to brace his ribs and the middle of the car will not afford him that luxury.

“Buck!”

He thinks he hears his name but that can’t be possible.

“Buck! Is that you?”

He turns his head, seeking out the voice. He can’t help but smile when he sees the familiar face of Benny DeMarco headed straight toward him.

“Major, it sure is good to see you,” Benny says as they clasp hands and hug.

Benny’s brows furrow then. “But are you ok? You look pretty roughed up. Your face…was it the landing or did they hurt you, Major?”

Gale doesn’t want to discuss this at all but certainly not with an audience. He ducks his head and brings his voice down, “Ah, we can talk later Benny, ok?”

Benny knows Gale well and takes the hint. Gale hates any kind of attention. But Benny isn’t going to let this go once they get to where they are going. He can tell from the way the Major is holding himself that he is injured. Plus Bucky would kill him if he let anything happen to Buck.

The train soon delivers them to their new home at Stalag Luft III.

As they walk through the gate, Gale’s steps falter and Benny has to steady him. Gale says, “I’m fine, I’m fine,” but he’s gone three shades more pale.

Benny takes one of Gale’s arms and puts it around his shoulders.

“Let me help. That’s what co-pilots are for.”

Gale can’t argue. His strength is flagging.

Heavy

The problems for “Our Baby” that started on the tarmac continue in the air with the ball turret before they reach Bremen. Gale continues to do what he does best, he rallies his crew, encourages them to hold fast and remain alert as they approach the target.

The flak is heavy around them.

They all want this so bad they can taste it.

Then it all goes to hell.

Once over the target, their plane is hit by three fighters at 10:00 high, out of the sun. The damage is significant and takes out the No. 2 engine. Gale and Benny refuse to panic, they simply shut it down and continue with the mission.

Smoke pours from their plane making them an easy target. The Luftwaffe keep coming. Control cables are the next to go, completely severed. The smell of electricity fills the air and smoke filters throughout the cabin and fuselage.

Gale remains unshaken. This is what he’s trained for. He’s been beaten up his whole life. As a child, he didn’t expect this kind of treatment from people who were supposed to love him and yet he ended up bloodied and bruised. He expects this kind of treatment from the Germans.

A section of the left wing is blown off and shells rip through the nose of the plane. The death knell is beginning to ring but he refuses to hear it. He can’t afford to stop and listen. He’s got to try to get his crew to a place where they will have a fighting chance.

He comes on the radio then, “We are gonna try to make it to the Dutch border, boys. That means we gotta dump all of our gear not bolted down in order to lighten our load. Shoot the bomb sight and dump it too.”

He quickly stops transmitting because it’s all he can do to hold on to this bird. It’s pulling both he and Benny for all they are worth. He doesn’t want his crew to hear the strain in his voice.

He closes his eyes for a brief second, picturing Bucky’s face. He can do this. He can hold on. For Bucky.

Then he feels the plane shudder with another hit.

And another.

Engine No. 1 shuts down.

The blankets under Benny’s seat catch fire.

Engine No. 3 shuts down.

Then No. 4.

“No Engine Cleven” won’t be making a miracle landing today.

He allows himself one moment of terror. Then he leans his face down and brushes the part of his cheek not covered by the mask against the collar of Bucky’s jacket. The fuzzy texture against his skin grounds him once again and it allows him to regain his composure. He flips the switch which will change the course of the war for all of them.

“Bail out. Pilot to crew, I repeat, bail out.”

He sends Benny ahead of him and suddenly he’s the last one remaining on board. The proverbial captain going down with his ship. It’s always been like this, Gale against the world. But for the first time in his life, he’s got someone to live for. He pulls Bucky’s jacket tighter around him and whispers, “I love you Johnny.”

Then he jumps.

Light

With no money for college and a terrible reputation in his hometown of Casper, Wyoming because of his father’s gambling debts, Gale decides that entering the military is his best, scratch that - only - option. He then ships off to boot camp, simply trading one war for another.

The moment John “Bucky” Egan lays eyes on Gale Cleven, two things happen at the exact same time. He knows he is dealing with a wounded animal and he knows that this man is his destiny. He can tell that Gale will be a tough nut to crack, but he is certain that beneath that facade is the most beautiful soul he’s ever seen.

Gale’s walls are built high but Bucky has a plan to start chipping away at them. He is used to getting what he wants. Bucky then does what any normal human being would do. He gives Gale his name. He starts with his nickname since it wasn’t exactly legal for him to give him his last name. Yet.

“You look just like a buddy of mine from back home in Manitowoc. His name is Buck.”

With a hand on his chin and a serious expression on his face, Bucky studies Gale. It gives him the perfect excuse to look for a few extra seconds. Nodding and looking proud of himself, Bucky breaks out into the biggest smile, which lights up his entire face.

Gale finds it impossible to resist, feeling himself beginning to smile too.

“Yep, I think I’ll call ya Buck, Buck.”

Bucky slings an arm around Gale’s shoulders as they begin walking toward their barracks. Gale looks at him like he is crazy but there is an air of lightheartedness finally beginning to settle into the formerly rigid planes of his face. He’s made Gale Cleven smile. Bucky’s heart feels like it is going to explode and he knows right then and there that he will do anything to make Gale smile again.

Bucky isn’t sure if he is having heart palpations or if he is just falling in love.

One small problem though. Buck from Manitowoc doesn’t exist. Buck Cleven doesn’t need to know that though. That’s right, it is one big ole lie.

While it is the first time Bucky lies to Gale’s face, it won’t be the last.

Bonus Light

John thinks to himself that he has never seen a human being more pale and still alive. He rides with Gale in the ambulance transport to the hospital on base, not allowing an argument as to whether he belongs there or not. He holds Gale’s hand, which is ice cold. Gale is shaking now, his body going into shock from the injury and blood loss. John quickly rips off his sheepskin jacket and drapes it over Gale. He knows Gale hates this jacket but he’ll do anything to help keep him warm.

A medic places an oxygen mask over Gale’s face but he’s still struggling to breathe. He coughs and it’s a terrible barking sound. Blood splatters all over the inside of the mask, creating a ghastly combination of colors, the red blood and Gale’s blue lips.

John can’t look away.

Gale’s eyes flutter open then, searching. Searching for John. They are frantic, darting back and forth. John can tell he wants to speak so badly but his grievous injury won’t allow him the breath to do so. John starts brushing back Gale’s hair again, “I’m here, I’m not leaving you. You aren’t alone. Please fight Buck.”

The medic is too busy tending to Buck to pay attention to what’s being said between the two men and Bucky knows he’s got to give Gale something to fight for. Someone to fight for. He knows he can’t say it out loud so he moves in closer to Gale’s face. He then moves his mouth slowly without saying the words out loud and prays he’s not too late for Gale to see.

“I. Love. You.”

He can see the moment the light leaves Gale’s eyes. His chest stops heaving. He’s not breathing anymore.

John feels like he’s not breathing either.

John starts screaming, “He’s not breathing! You’ve got to help him! My God, SOMEONE HELP HIM!”

They’ve reached the hospital. The medical staff tear John away then, ripping Gale and John’s hands apart as they rush Gale into a treatment bay. His last glimpse of Gale is of someone jumping on top of his chest, doing chest compressions, John’s sheepskin jacket tossed in a heap on the floor.

John is left standing there, drenched in Gale’s blood, shivering without his jacket and wondering if he’s about to lose the love of his life. The love of his life who died not knowing he’s the love of his life. He’d been too late. 

He falls to his knees and allows the tears to finally come.


**Authors Note - I don’t do Major Character Deaths in my fics so have no fear. You can read this fic on Sunday on AO3. I will also be posting here on Tumblr. ❤️**

No pressure tagging @hogans-heroes @trekkiehood @onyxsboxes @blixabargelds

Your words are: touch, eyes, fight, walk

[skeletinmoss]

@babygirlvirgil I don't think I'll ever touch this cursed thing ever again so I might as well post it.

Ever since that stupid trip to the ancient ruins that Remus dragged him on something felt off. Virgil felt different, felt wrong. There was something inside his body, he was sure of it. He felt weird. Moving, breathing, eating, everything felt weird.

Virgil thought he caught some kind decease or parasite from that one skull Remus yeeted his way. He even got over his social anxiety and went to the doctor, but everything was clean and he got nothing except some advice to lower his caffeine intake and get some healthy amount of sleep.

He was being paranoid, Virgil knew that. The only thing left was problems with his brain. But he was too scared to send himself to the physics. Because if he was right he was crazy, and there was nothing better than not being able to trust yourself!

He was probably crazy either way, he couldn't shake off the felling of something inside him. He could sense it moving, he could feel the aches he never felt before. Or maybe they were always there? He couldn't remember, he never cared to make a mental note on how it felt not feeling like he did now.

The Thing inside of him was growing, spreading, replacing his bones with Its own. He could feel it. He could feel IT.

At first he was too nervous to say anything. Everyone noticed. He even managed to make Mr Janus-poker-face look genuinely concerned. When he rejected any concern for his well-being everyone took the hint and didn't press. That was the moment he sealed his fate at getting any help later. His attempts at looking miserable so someone would ask about it and he can share his concerns failed miserably because of it.

Then It started to learn. It was in his arms, in his legs, in his torso, in his neck. It knew how to move like him. It knew his habits, It knew how to pretend to be him. And It had his friends fooled. He couldn't pretend to be miserable again. Virgil wasn't sure he was even able to mention the situation if prompted. His voice didn't feel like his own either now. Was it always this deep? Was it this hoarse before? Would any of his friends be able to notice?

" Notice! Say something!" his mind cried as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

" Sorry, got something in the eye," his body said instead as it moved his hand to wipe it.

Was it still His body? Or did it belong to the Thing that was living with him now?

He knew he wasn't crazy when he confessed to his crush. Real Virgil would have never done that! Now he was sure there was an imposter inside of him. Someone took his place and now trying to trick his love too.

" I won't let it happen," he decided.

In retrospect he shouldn't have done what he did then. Not for his sake, for theirs.

He was never good at making friends. Most of his friends came from his brother Patton. Patton was always sociable, cheery and loud, when Virgil was quiet, introverted and anxious. Their parents always got jokes about how their sons were so different being only one year apart. Patton's friends were always the only one Virgil had. And it's safe to say they all were shocked at what he did.

His new boyfriend contacted Patton over night with the news, " Virgil is trying to kill himself ".

Admittedly not the best plan. But how else could he stop the Thing from touching someone so dear to him?

His brother and boyfriend were so distraught, it was hard to look at. He didn't tell them why he tried to do it. He couldn't. He didn't tell the doctors either. And in the end he was declared mentally ill after all! For all the wrong reasons!

The feeling of someone inside only grew. It tried to communicate now. It knew how, it pretended to be him for over 4 months now. Yet the only thing it said was 'beautiful'.

" You are so beautiful," It repeated in a millionth time now, as his own hands caressed his face and neck ever so gently.

But after this time Virgil suddenly felt in control again. His body was moving at his own will. The thing was still inside of course, but now it settled inside his bones. He wasn't sure why he was so certain about it. But now there was a clear line between his bones controlled by the Thing and the rest of him.

The notes I had, but don't want to write it

Lo: so, has your skeleton said anything lately?

V: I know it is not... It's the best way i can describe it. I swear i know it sounds absolutely nuts. But I can't make it stop.

Lo: that is very good actually. Aknowledging the delusion is going to be vital in maintaining control over yourself.

The thing: Darling, i am here. Please, i am real. I promise. I love you. More than anyone ever will. They are trying to make you abandon me because they are jealous.

V: it doesn't like being called a delusion...

Me thinking " Why not try and write a fun fic where Virgil is shipped with his own skeleton? It'll be fun! "

The psychological horror with a person who's definitely most likely having a mental illness starring at me back

[dykedvonte]

I saw your earlier post and you mentioned how people say things like "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" and you're so right cuz it drives me insane the way people want to hate Curly as much as Jimmy so they start saying really concerning stuff. Like is that not just victim blaming? Is saying "Curly is a grown ass man" not just rephrasing "why didn't she fight back?" It feels like the fandom think they can just say vile shit because his abuse wasn't physical (at first, and don't even get me started on anyone saying he deserved to be abused as if any kind of abuse can be justified) and he's a guy. Makes me wonder if people would bother seeing Curly as another victim if he was a woman or if discussion would be equally as insufferable because he's still not the "perfect victim" compared to Anya

It's crazy the way people say "I would've fixed everything unlike Curly" and then continue brushing off a victim and saying they deserved it. Even Curly acknowledged Anya's suffering even if he failed to help her in the end, and yet the fandom acts like this without any self-awareness (sorry for ranting like this but I'm just very tired of the fandom recently)

What worse about those comments and the sentiments is it’s often used when people are discussing him as a victim. Like acknowledging the abuse he also faced with Jimmy and that it shouldn’t matter or have an effect because he needed to “man up” and deal with it due to his position.

He needed to deal with it more effectively yes, but it is really victim blamey in the sense he should’ve just been able to. I talked about if Curly was a girl people would probably still judge her on the basis of being more experienced and accomplished and also needing to know better. The problem is that every is trying to treat what Anya and Curly went through on a comparative level. The game does not try to do that but instead tries to have their abuse parallel each other and be metaphorical, along with show the subtle and explicit ways abusers treat their victims.

People see how Jimmy and Curly parallel each other and create the idea “they deserved each other” in some weird ironic penance stance on both their parts. It’s just so odd because the game clearly shows that not a single person was deserving of their situation and especially the treatment under Jimmy at any point for any reason. The game centers around everyone paying for callous actions he commits and refuses to take responsibility for and yet the conversation center around one of his most tormented victims being questioned on how deserving he was of it/how it shouldn’t have effected him that badly.

I know you can be mad at Curly but making it out that if he was a real good man than he just would’ve had the balls to stand up to what was likely years of emotional and mental degradation still perpetuates the idea if a victim really didn’t like the treatment they would’ve just fought back harder or not put themselves into that position in the first place.

It goes back to the idea that there’s always a way to stop it and it’s on you if it happens. It’s again taking focus off the perpetrator and putting it on other aspects than the ever present source. Idk man but it’s like people are trying to make so many slightly different think pieces on MW that some just loop back to harmful rhetoric we were just moving away from.

[possiblyfunny]

With all the Missing Numbers Doodles popping up today, I finally found it in me to actually doodle and not care about how it looked. Anyways—

Here is Aster’s Halloween Costume! I didn’t color it, but Aster is Little Red Riding Hood and Del is the Werewolf. He’s not trick-or-treating, by the way—he’s just handing out king-sized chocolate bars to everyone he passes while walking around!

It’s not much- Just a goofy little thing to celebrate the holiday. Happy Halloween, everyone!

(Psst-! Hey, @100nebulas ! Starry! I know it’s not a lot, but I promised! Here’s your small dose of Aster content :])

[laniidae-passerine]

see I am very disjointed from a lot of nine/ten fandom discourse because I genuinely believe that in a different world where space boy was not to be seen, had an older Rose gone to the hospital and bumped into a certain Doctor Jones by a vending machine or as she was taking Rose’s vitals, she would have instantly hit it off with Martha. and probably flirted with her a little on accident and then on purpose when Martha flirted back

[mutalune]

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery

[cameoutstruggling93]

Does anyone else ever feel feeling like throwing things at their friends?

[soupblr]

oh im actually going to kill someone literally the first thing i thought was that the files must be transcribed weird. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHY IS IT TRANSCODING SHIT IN REAL TIME AT THE ABSOLUTE MAX POSSIBLE FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! THAT SETTING WAS OFF!! omg is it the files i got or something i thought they were fine. i feel like an insane person rn why is all my shit changed. if u literally told me someone broke in and changed a bunch of small things to make my setup work badly i would believe you because what the actual fuck. i was gonna say i need to listen to myself but i fixed like 3 other problems by not fixing what is probably the main fucking issue and itll be faster than before now but holy shit holy fucking shit oh my god