#and it is worth it to be able to get health care

[grittyghoul]

Since birth control was already addressed, in 2020 a study found the same egg production in trans men had had gone through hrt and cis women that had eggs extracted for IVF and the same pregnancy outcomes and a 2023 study from Mount Sinai in New York had the same findings. It also doesn’t impact the health of the eggs so while there is changes to the menstrual cycle the current research suggests changes to fertility on testosterone are reversible. If a trans person who has been on testosterone decided a to stop hrt and have a biological child, with the exception of other unrelated fertility issues, they should be able to do that.

A study in 2023 from university of Amsterdam also found for trans women who have been on hrt, that healthy sperm production usually begins again after about four months of stopping so it is still possible to have a child with your own sperm if you’ve been on feminizing hormones, I do believe it is still recommended to freeze sperm before starting hrt but if you didn’t do that and you want kids, barring unrelated fertility issues, you should be able to produce sperm again.

Caveat to all this is of course it may not be worth going off of hormones for the time it takes for fertility to return or to carry a pregnancy so that is a big consideration and these studies only apply to individuals who started hormones in adulthood after going through puberty the first time,ppl who were on puberty blockers in childhood or were put on hormones before puberty could get very far do tend to have decreased fertility.

There’s still a lot of work and research to be done for sure but it is good news for trans ppl who want to have biological children and good news for people who don’t want that and want to be able to make the best and most informed possible birth control decisions for themselves and there are doctors who are up to date on this information and care about treating their trans patients with dignity

i mean typically this is like

>research shows testosterone HRT is not a contraceptive so you still need to use protection!

>ok. do you know if it has literally any effect on fertility whatsoever?

>lol no

>ok. so hypothetically how would a trans man on HRT know if he's pregnant?

>well silly girl :) you just check your period :) if you missed your period you might be pregnant! duh!

>ok. testosterone HRT stops your period after, like, 3 months though

>[windows error sounds] well then you can usually feel your breasts get heavier and more tender :)

>ok. what about people who don't have mammary glands anymore? how would that even work?

>listen i don't know. why don't you have a pregnancy test?

>those tests work by detecting a specific hormone. does HRT interfere with this hormone by either making it undetectable or stopping its production entirely or anything? how do i know the test itself is reliable?

>have you tried the morning after pill?

>the morning after pill is also hormone-based. how do i know it's reliable? does taking testosterone HRT have any impact on its efficiency? could it potentially cause an adverse reaction? could a trans man with updated ID documents even access it in the first place since the pharmacy only delivers it to people they think, at a glance, could be pregnant?

etc etc

[fanaticsnail]

"I am a Swordsman: Disciplined, Stoic, Hardened."

Pollen Masterlist here

Word count: 5,400+

Synopsis: After trying a new compost and soil layer for his prized Marastina grapes, Dracule Mihawk found himself perplexed about a yellow coating over the shell of his harvested vintage. After taking a few moments to calculate its origins, a rapid wildfire of lust begins to consume his very being. Arriving at Kuraigana at the request of your boss to pass on a letter, you are surprised by what exactly you find within the cool wine cellar.

Themes: Mihawk x afab!reader, pollen, mdni, 18+, NSFW, smut, fluff, friends to lovers, multiple rounds, creampie, squirting, dubcon, prior friendship, first time together, cross guild mentioned

Notes: Massive shoutout to @mermaniaa, @loganwritesprobably, and @claryeverlarkf for pushing me on to complete this fic. Love you guys! Thank you for beta-ing for me, Logan!!

Beads of sweat dripped down his temple and pooled in the whiskered chin of the World’s Greatest Swordsman. His restraint and level-headed demeanor had started to shift the longer his endurance was tested. While completely accustomed to testing his strength of character, resolve, and resistance, that was usually regarding war and warfare, not… this.

While his knees were bowed to the sides, heels wedged beneath his knees on each opposing side, his glistening body was illuminated by the soft warmth of sparse candlelight on the floor surrounding him. With every inhale and exhale, Dracule Mihawk was grounding every molecule of his strength to fight giving in to the fury burning beneath his pants. 

Despite his better judgement, the marine hunter, turned warlord, turned recluse living out his days and carrying his title in Kuraigana had decided to change exports for mulch and fertilizer for his prized marastina grapes, into one proclaimed by many to aid grape production and growth. While the marastina grape made for a sweeter wine of less alcohol when pressed into wine, he wanted to spoil his little vine by giving it a more nutrient rich base. 

There was no change to his persons while handling the gravel, soil, and hessian bags of fertiliser. He was always careful when gardening, never quite knowing which elements of the earth were able to hurt his skin and cause illness or infection. Gloves, spades, shovels, picks, mattocks, and forks were always used with the utmost caution when rearranging the elements and caring for his small farm. Every instrument was thoroughly cleaned, boiled, and disinfected thereafter for the sake of his health and that of his garden. 

After squeezing, pressing, barrelling, and leaving the grapes on lees, for just a little longer than anticipated, Mihawk had done every preparation to the highest quality to brew his prized marastina into wine worth cellaring beneath his cobblestone castle. He had noticed the film along the exterior of the skins were more golden than that white wild yeast he was accustomed to. He had also partially noticed the small spores and gentle flower growth beneath the vines, ones that he had never recognised from any growth prior, but he marked it down in his mind as simply being the appropriate conditions for such a flower. 

That oversight was one he had come to regret.

The ache in his legs, back, and spine had long since been eclipsed by the throb in his pants growing steely, urgent, and angry at every hour he continued to ignore it. The need was overwhelming. Every tick of time that passed through the waves of lust consuming him grated against his every nerves. He refused to move the buckles and ties over his belt to relieve himself, electing to treat this as an exercise of restraint rather than to give into his own needs. 

“The toxins need to get out,” he muttered beneath his breath, “I just need to wait it out.” His honeyed eyes scrunched tightly and his shaken breath was imbued with a foreign desperation. With a few shaking and hastened breaths, Mihawk clenched his eyes tightly shut and deepened his furrowed brow as he concentrated. “I am a swordsman. Disciplined. Stoic. H-Hardened.” He grimaced at his stutter, chastising himself for the weakness found within his desperate tone. 

“I am a swordsman.”

The twitch of interest beneath his leather pants grew urgent, screaming for his attention with every second lost. He felt more of his sweat glistening and spinning from his tossled, glossy curls down his face and trailing the contours of his abdomen. 

“Disciplined.”

Mihawk’s heart jumped as the heat of his scorching swear began to trace his skin like an accusatory finger dancing past his nipples and down towards his navel. The furrow in his brow continued to contort in a severe strain of his concentration. The puffing and heaving of his chest became more manic at every moment. He clenched his fists so hard, the moon-shaped crevices forged by his blunt, manicured fingernails bore into the skin that his palms began to bleed. 

“Stoic.”

Mihawk growled as he spoke, feeling the warmth of his body he attempted to expell with water, cleansing agents, balms, and ointments continue to grow before he gave up and attempted to wait out the paralysis of his toxins. He understood his path now was risky, but he discerned that his training as a gardener and swordsman could push out that foreign chaos with his steely will alone. 

“Hard-…”

His lips curled around that word. ‘Hardened,’ he tried to speak the full syllables of its entirety, but halted as his cock now bellowed at full volume as it leaked and begged for a partner in his pants. The hunger could no longer be ignored; satiating the desire had now become paramount. Like a craving that only a specific flavor could compensate for, his cock continued to betray his resolve as precum trickled from his slit and pools at his balls. 

“Fuck.”

~

The journey to Kuraigana was taxing on your body, but you assumed the news you carried would encourage the lord of the land to house you with relative ease. With the disbarment of the warlords by the world government, your formerly disgraced boss had a plan he hatched inside Impel Down with the boisterous clown. 

Sir Crocodile had made you, his prized assistant, privy to the knowledge of the newly forged idea to form a list and finance bounties to those desiring to hunt deserving marines alongside pirates. It was your job to sell the idea to a former warlord you had come to know and respect from your days serving your boss in his shadow within the council chambers. 

‘A daring conversationalist,’ was how your boss described you, ‘One to speak their mind with ease and steer a heavy hand in a more correct attunement.’ Sir Crocodile had such flowery references and eloquent language surrounding the way you were able to ground him and the warlords when asked to state your opinion. Although not a warlord yourself, you had garnered the respect of many within the formation by being able to sway the weight in your boss's favor by your simple wording alone. Vice Admiral Tsuru had began to anticipate your arrival with a warm smile spared at your expense, a luxury many of the others had rarely been afforded. 

Which is precisely how you had been chosen to serve this purpose. 

Given the sensitivity of the information to relay onto his former associate, Sir Crocodile refused the regular channels of den den mushi, binary codex, and the soaring wings of the news coos. You were the only viable option, and you had attempted to contain your excitement to meet with lord Dracule Mihawk once more. 

The stoic swordsman was friendly enough with you. Although he tended to leave the marine council chambers with a quickened haste, you would always catch him at the docs as he waited to set sail with the tide. It was in those small moments, waiting side by side, where you found an unlikely friendship. Although nothing had ever occurred in these small moments with one another, there was this easiness in your rapport that had you thinking, in another life, with a small push, that you and this swordsman could have found some happiness with one another. 

Quickly swallowing down your small bloom of memories threatening to resurface, the gravelly sand crunched beneath your feet as you walked up towards the highkeep of Kuraigana containing the World’s Greatest Swordsman. With your note from the other former warlord folded carefully within your satchel, you focussed on the small shimmer of dull light protruding from the doorway closer to the cellar.

“Oh,” you exhale as your brows furrow at the flicker. For a moment, you take into consideration your surroundings. The vineyard harboring Mihawk’s coastal grapes appeared absent of fruit, the scent of sweet juice lingered on the sea air as you noticed a trickle of amber and crimson slowly weep out of the room the light is expanding within. “Harvest season,” you spoke to nobody in particular as you changed your direction towards the room, “I’m far better off going to his cellar than standing on that terrace until he returns to open his home to me.” 

After not too long, you were standing by the partially cracked door leading towards his cellar. The light within was far dimmer than the outside sunlight, leaving little to deduce what was occurring within aside from a shift of material and rough panting and an animalistic grunt that had your heart jump up to your throat. Choking briefly, you placed your satchel down and stooped to a low crouch to assess the danger. 

Slowly approaching from around the corner, what your eyes fell on was one that caused your eyes to broaden and lips fall agape. Falling off your guard and onto your knees, your mind could barely process what was immediately within your vision. 

Lord Dracule Mihawk, master of the sword and former warlord of the seas, was naked and hunched over and fisting his leaking cock as if it had personally offended him. You could barely make out the conversation he was holding beneath his breath while he continued to assault his cock in a variety of unique ways. From standing up, bracing his body with his left hand while fucking into his fist, to sitting in a chair and pumping along his length with his hands flying to his raven locks and pulling on its strands. 

The stoic swordsman appeared to have sweat, tears, and saliva pooling down his features and forging a feral sheen over his sightly features the longer his hard and heavy touch lingered. Gruff huffs and a lingering whisper flew over his palate and thrust into the air in synchrony to his cock disappearing into his fist. 

“W-Why can’t I finish?” He pleaded with himself, words catching in his throat as he uttered them, “I have done… I have done everything. Why won’t you j-just-?! hhah!” He sunk onto his knees in front of the chair and continued to roll his velvety skin over his shaft to reveal his blood-flushed tip weeping with desire, yet without any conclusion to his ministrations. “I… I need… I need…!”

“L-Lord Dracule Mihawk?” your trembling lips called out to your former associate. Unsure as to whether you should approach him as he was like this, you held your internal argument for longer than you deemed necessary to weigh up your options. As his tawny eyes snapped over towards your form down on your own knees, Mihawk’s lips curled around the edges of your name and cried out to you.

“What are you doing here? D-Do not see me like this-!” Mihawk protested, attempting to shy himself away from you while maintaining contact against his cock, “I-It is uncivilised. I-I am exposed and… I need… I need-...” He gazed to the grapes, honing in on the yellow sheen of fine powder eclipsing the grape skins. He deduced what he was experiencing was an allergic reaction to the filmy substance, causing him to maintain this desire without an end to his torment. 

“...Lord Mihawk,” you attempted again, holding your hands defensively in front of your face and shielding your eyes from view, “You appear to be suffering, from what I do not know what. By your evident commentary, I would assume you had already attempted stopping the touch to stop the desire-?”

“-I cannot stop,” Mihawk cut you off harshly, both he and you flinching at how his words bounced off the cobblestone walls of his wine cellar, “Forgive me. It… It hurts to stop. More than I can bear. I know the longer I attempt this touch, the more finite my experience will be.” He huffed out a small groan, gazing down at his skin as his tip weeped with more predominant precum without the proper release he needed for satisfaction, “I had handled a new soil, and this… this festering b-breeding ground attached itself to my nasal cavity, and swelled my veins the longer I worked at the grapes.” 

Nodding along, you continued to grant the warlord privacy as he tended to himself, finding yourself distracted by the sounds of him attempting to continue to rut into his hand. The slaps of him fisting his steely skin, the groans, huffs, and whimpers fleeing from his lips, the restraint you could tangibly feel rolling off of his body: you would be lying if you said it didn’t affect you. 

“I… I could never… I could never ask-... f-fuck-... But I… It…” Mihawk attempted to get the words out of him as they formed within his mind, “The reason, I-... I assume I am unable to… release… Is due to the fact the spores need to spread with the body of another. While… While I am able to hold a conversation regarding the hypothesis surrounding plant-life and the cycle of pollinated spores at a later date, I…” Mihawk’s voice trembled as his mask began to slip, “…Please know that it is taking every far reach of my restraint to not fuck you into the ground like some wild animal.”

The confession Mihawk produced sent a cruel throb through your body, your cunt beneath your undergarments clenching at his voice catching and rolling over his tongue like mercury on stone. Your lips flew momentarily agape and gulping at air as you removed your hands from their defensive position. Slowly moving your eyes to the floor in front of you, you kept your breathing steady while you hardened your resolve. 

“You and I have known one another for many years, Mihawk,” you dropped all formalities and removed your travelling coat from your shoulders and discarded it to the side, “And I had volunteered to attend this mission and travel alone to visit you because I consider the two of us to be friends, am I correct in that assumption?” 

“You are.”

“Then we can both agree that I care enough for my friend to not want to see him suffering like this,” you suggest, removing your shirt and peeling off your bottoms, rising to your feet in the process to step out of the material. Revealing your flesh to the warlord, you took a few steps towards his cowering form and slowly extended your hand out to obtain his unused hand. You refused to look down at the motion pistoning within his lap. “Two friends, one helping out another as I would should you had been bitten by a venomous creature and needing an extraction.”

“What… What are you suggesting?” Mihawk whispered, his honeyed gaze darting between your eyes and towards your hand, “That you would offer yourself to me if I would ask it of you?”

“What I am suggesting is,” you reached forward and collected his whiskered chin within the cup of your palm and thumbed over his bottom lip, “From one friend to another, you need not ask for something I’m willing to give you freely and without motive.” Your hand coaxed him forward as you stooped, your lips smiling gracefully at him as you recalled his earlier words, “So, Dracule Mihawk, show me what it looks like when you no longer restrain yourself and fuck me into the ground like some wild animal.”

You were unsure what occurred first in a flurry of heavy motion. In one moment, you were standing before the swordsman as he gazed up at you with all of the hope of a man starving and offered bread and water, the next, you were hoisted unceremoniously into the air and slammed against the workbench with the wood digging into your hips and chest pressed against the grainy surface. Before you had an opportunity to protest, you felt the swordsman’s leaking and weeping cock begin to puncture your entrance and slide within you as if you were made for one another. Mihawk groaned as he felt your walls shudder around his girth to accommodate him, all while your lips whimpered out at the hard intrusion.

“I… am usually a-... f-f-fuck-...” Mihawk growled as he removed his hips from pressing against your ass, only to circle forward once more, “...far more intimate lover than this. Careful. Plenty of-... of-... fuck!” He could barely string together a cohesive sentence as he finally gave into his desires and fucked you against the counter. His nose began to snort out exhales as a beast would sprint towards a victory in a timed race, all the while his cruel and eager thrusting never let up.

The stretch of your pussy molding to his shape never gave you discomfort, especially with how much his motions earlier made you drip with anticipation with his cock in his hand. You felt it was almost wrong how much your body craved him, but judging by how truly hard he was railing you against his workbench, you deduced the feeling was mutual. 

Regardless as to whether he had pollen in his system or not, Mihawk couldn’t shake the thought of how your ass rippled with his every in-thrust. He had watched over you, watched after you, and simply kept an eye on you at the World Government Headquarters. Friends, he called it, two friends enjoying one another’s company. He had wanted to take you on several outings, but knew your duties were truly to the Crocodile, and he would have to jump through several hoops and unravel an entanglement of red tape for the simple opportunity for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. 

Yet here you were, soaking while your walls continued to crush his steely desire with every motion of his hips meeting with yours. The squelching and clapping of your bodies meeting imprinted into the cellar walls, alongside the symphony of your smaller squeaks and his heavy groans. Mihawk found his hands moving down towards your lower back, and one circling around your front. Mihawk’s index finger quickly found your pert bud dancing at the top of your pussy, immediately beginning to assault your clit with a variety of manic motions. 

“Mihawk!” you cried as your body constricted and convulsed against the slate of wood, “Y-You’re gonna make me-!”

“-Fuck!” Mihawk cried out as his body began to flood yours with his viscous ecstasy. His hips staggered, but continued to hold that heavy rhythm while coils of his infinite release splashed against your cervix and outside of your pussy to dribble onto the floor. Your own body felt as if it was shot with lightning, your hair follicles rising as your legs shook in pure, unbridled bliss while he continued to ride out his high within your body. 

Mihawk flopped forward against your back, burying his face in the crook of your neck and catching his breath. Your lips flew agape while you attempted to find a foothold on your own breathing. You took a moment to recall if any lover prior had managed to make you scream that quickly and intensely in all your time sailing and working the Blues, and drawing up a blank. 

Before you had the chance to smile up at Mihawk by turning around to face him, you felt his cock again begin to twitch inside you, remaining as hard as it first was. Your eyes flew wide as he began to slowly roll his hips against your own. 

“It… Took the edge off, darling,” Mihawk confessed, thrusting his cock shallowly within your cunt and using your mixture of juices to reach a deeper place inside you, “But I believe we are… far from out of the thick of it, yet.” Your eyes continued to hold their position on the wall before you, uttering out a small squeak as you felt your body raised effortlessly into the air. With the swordsman’s forearms hooking beneath your thighs, your back was pressed against his bare chest and his breath was hot in your ears. 

“If you would be so kind as to continue to allow me permission to use you,” Mihawk purred smoothly, “As one friend would another in this extreme set of circumstances,” he raised you above his cock, before thrusting his hips and tugging you down into him in one heavy motion, “I promise it will be as fulfilling to you as it is satisfactory to me.” You felt yourself drop as nimble as a ragdoll in the hands of a rough player, your body rising and falling in several heavy and hard thrusts downwards while Mihawk rut his cock up into you.

“M-Mihawk!” you cried out, your mind going blank while pleasure coasted through your sensitive body. Your nipples peaked in the cool cellar air while Mihawk’s warm chest heated up your body and fuelled your desire. 

“Should you ask me to stop, I will stop,” Mihawk whispered, trying his best to hold off on another wave of his own euphoria to spill itself within you, “All you need to do is tell me.” 

“D-Don’t you dare stop!” you struggled to spurt out. Feeling your limp body used as a channel of his lust, you had your own edge begin to rise up in the pit of your belly. Mihawk was successfully fucking you directly from the tail end of one release into the next with the skill of the worlds greatest master of bodily arts. You felt the pit of your stomach begin to contract and expand with the flutter of a butterfly’s wing while your toes curled in euphoria. 

Mihawk huffed out with every grip of your pussy dragging over his shaft, his own release not far off. The pollen within his every nerve ending continued to swell his need. But only now, with your body joined with his, did he ever find a relief in his release. He marvelled at how beautiful you were, how willing you were to take him like this, and how beautiful you were when you cried out for him. Even without the pollen, he would want to make you cry out the way your whimpers and moans joined his own while growing higher in intensity. 

“Mihawk, I’m gonna cum again! Please don’t stop!” you desperately called out for him, immediately causing his eyes to widen and own oblivion beginning to shatter. Your body began milking him while desperately releasing a splash of your own release onto the floorboards beneath you. Your juices flooded from your core as Mihawk fucked his own inside you with every heavy thrust forward. 

He ground your cunt against his cock, spearing you with it as he fucked you through another heavy rapture this side of the heavens. Your pussy contracted and convulsed around him, and he anchored you through those wiggles as he unravelled thick and heavy ropes of his own release inside you. He called your name as if it was the most beautiful song to ever grace the seas, all while his lips found the nape of your neck and pressed a hard and heavy kiss into your sweat-glistening skin. 

The swell of the pollen within his system had finally begun to teeter off. No longer feeling bound by the feral urge to home his body within your own with the added emphasis of an aphrodisiac, he felt his senses return to him and his compassion for you, as his friend, take over his next actions. 

Mihawk lowered you onto the floor, carefully placing you onto your back within the expanding sheet of his discarded greatcloak. You panted to catch your breath, almost crying out with how much bliss he had stolen and hidden into your body. The swordsman lowered himself down between your legs and braced himself above your smaller form. Slowly caressing your cheek, he found his mind ticking as to what brought you to his shores in the first place, only to rescind that thought at the sight of your blissed-out expression.

“Looks like you had a question on those lips, swordsman,” you uttered softly and carefully while collecting yourself. Your entire body felt as if it was spent and used to its capacity, hoping the systemic aphrodisiac - or something of the like according to the man above you - had run it’s course. “Do I need to read your mind, or are you going to ask me what you- ah!” 

Mihawk slipped his cock back inside you, stealing your words from your lips as you continued to gaze up at him through half-hooded lashes. The swordsman gave you a narrowed look, only before softening his motions and slowly rolling his hips forward against yours. Of the two other times Mihawk had released inside you, he felt the swell of the pollen truly being at the forefront of his desires. This time, this time, he elected to chase his untethered desire, his adoration for you, of his own volition. 

“Well, darling?” Mihawk asked you with a warmth to his tone, teasing out its edges, “Are you going to tell me the answer to the question you’re claiming to see within my mind’s eye?” His cock slowly raked against your walls, shallowly thrusting inside you while you melted against the fabric of his jacket. 

“S-Sir Crocodile sent me here, as I said before, Mihawk,” you chuckled, fluttering your eyes shut and leaning into his touch, “Baring a ledger drafted by himself and another acquaintance you had made yourself known to. He is forming an alliance, and he-... we…” you added, fluttering open your eyes and peering up at him, “...Were hoping you would be so kind as to join us in our endeavors.” 

“And what would it entail, friend?” Mihawk blinked his thick, heavy eyelashes down at you, taking you in and checking over your words for any mistruth found within your candor. Finding none, he granted you a soft and intimate smile reserved for only those he truly enjoyed the company of. You had seen this smile once directed towards you at the sandy shores and harbour of the World Government headquarters, but only noticed now just how truly beautiful Dracule Mihawk was at this proximity.

“Doing what you once did so very well, marine hunter,” you match his smile, drawing your hands over his chest and beneath his arms, coaxing him closer to you within your warm embrace. He hovered his lips over yours, waiting for you to conclude your sentence before he ever dreamed about placing his kiss upon your lips. 

“Hunting Marines.”

“Hunting Marines,” he repeated your words back at you, continuing to draw out his and your delayed euphoria while holding you a breath away, “For what purpose, darling? Simple sport?” He held the casual conversation while his cock continued to disappear inside you at an easy rhythm. Softer than he had been earlier, almost apologetic in his actions while clawing out your bliss as simple as pulling weeds from a prized garden. 

“Refuting the rise in bounties for pirates,” your voice shook as pleasure crawled from your toes, up your legs and towards the pit of your belly, “Restore-... fuck-... Restoring balance to the world, one marine head at a time.” To find a proper perch against the swordsman, your feet interlocked behind his back and dug your heels against his ass. Your hands moved from his back to collect his neck within your hooped grasp. His lips were so close to yours, you could almost taste his kiss against your skin. 

“And your boss is to be that benefactor, I presume?” he whispered against your lips, moving his hands to circle your waist and draw a heftier pace against your body beneath his, “Considering he is inviting me to-... to-... shit.” Mihawk found himself lost in the feeling of your body, finally giving into this feeling and throwing aside the mask of professionalism. His eyes fluttered shut while you gripped onto his body in every sense of the word: arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and pussy around his cock while glistening in the prior rounds you both expelled. 

“Sir Crocodile will be funding the…” You found equal difficulty in locating your words the longer he hit that one spot inside you. Although this pace was not as fast as the ones prior, Mihawk continued to slowly draw out that final snap of a softer, more intimate wave of ecstasy within your soul. “Seas, Mihawk. Right there, please!” You grasped him more firmly, encouraging him to continue to hold that motion within your core while rolling his hips against your body, “Please, please, please.” 

“I can feel you, darling. You just hold on and let me do as I promised,” Mihawk reassured you, nuzzling his nose against yours and harboring his breath to rise and fall with your own, “Fucking you into the ground, sans the wild animal this time. You deserve better than a beast for what you h-have endured.” With a few curt groans cutting off before they reached their full symphony, Mihawk finally collected your lips with his just as he felt you clench down hard on his cock. 

A strangled cry fled your lips while you felt the bristles of Mihawk’s chin softly scrape against your skin. Your body rushed with the flood of softness, this climax lesser in intensity, yet more emotional and intimate as the others. The rush of his own release sowed itself within your walls and reaped out your euphoric harvest as he would plant and uproot his prized vintage. Every wave of his cum spurting out against your walls and splashing back outside of your pussy was matched with an even conjunction of scorching and rich kisses. 

Mihawk’s lips felt like home after a lifetime of travels, akin to the first apple produced by an ancient orchard maintained by a family of farmers. He tasted like a memory repressed and forgotten, only to resurface to bring comfort at the bite of winter’s chill. Mihawk’s kiss was both hot and as cold as iron falling in snow, yet the warmth is what remained behind. 

The both of you rode through this lesser wave, stilling in hips only, as your lips continued to bind together in an intensity almost as if you had not gorged yourself on the lust of your bodies moments prior. Mihawk groaned against your lips, slowly expelling his length from your entrance, followed by a sticky residue of his release stuck to your core and his tip. He hummed, sucking in a gasp that fled from your lips while rolling you both onto your sides, all while never breaking the sultry waves of his kiss lingering with your own. 

As you both finally pulled away from the kiss, your first glance was to peer at Mihawk’s bruised lips as he panted heavily out with his eyes fluttering closed. You drew your hand to his cheek, feeling the flush skin with your palm and smiling as softly as you could manage at him. 

“Do you feel as if it has finally come to pass?” you asked him with an uncertainty in your tone, “Or are you simply taking a rest before a fresh wave of whatever you contracted rises again?” With a soft smile, Mihawk tilted his head into your palm and pressed a kiss into your flesh. Each motion was soft, slow, but not as subtle as the stoic swordsman you had come to know. His expressions were intimate, and this felt breaching far more than the edge of simple friendship between you. 

“That last time was all me, darling,” Mihawk confessed into your palm before nudging it away with his whiskered chin, “And any time to come thereafter will also be simply that. All me.” He successfully nudged your hand down to place against his shoulder and maneuvered himself closer to you, “But, while we have a few moments to recover before I feel we are ready enough to brave another round, and the several to follow thereafter,” he brushed his nose against your own, a motion that was sweet enough to cause your heart to jump up into your throat and hold your body hostage to his words, “What are you, the reptilian benefactor, and this other unnamed associate calling yourselves, should I care to join you?” 

Mihawk pressed a softer, sweeter, and more delicate kiss against your lips, reassuring you that he had every intention of joining you with his actions rather than utilizing his words. You smiled against his lips before pulling away from the kiss and gracing him with your answer. 

“We are open to suggestions,” you admitted coyly before scrunching up your nose and smirking up at him, “But we have been using ‘The Cross Guild’.” 

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @mermaniaa @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady @jintaka-hane @thenotsofantasticlifestory @jadeddangel @thesunxwentblack @h0n3y-l3m0n05

[impostoradult]

my stress level right now is sky high, and the fall of the Republic is like fifth in my priority list of concerns. which should emphasize just how stressed I am

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I need to do my daily paperwork, I need to charge my phone, I need to eat something, I need to lay down before I collapse, I need to relax before my head explodes, I need to take a shower and wash my clothes for next week, I need to do my physio routine so my body doesn't lock up worse, I need to refill my water, I need to go pee, good fucking god no goddamn wonder I can barely keep my shit together I have been awake for FOUR HOURS and I only have seven hours until I go back to bed????

[damndude69]

.

[orcelito]

I'm actually like. Like I'm doing okay. Mostly? But there is in fact a Miasma. And it's called "the 17th is approaching". And it's terrible

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

[bumblingbabooshka]

Worst Guy Ever - Also, Unfortunately, Very Homosexual Convo. (subtextually)

[skyteglad]

the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.

that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.

i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.

[arcanistvysoren]

I'm still sort of on hiatus here, but yeah.... so this happened.

Things I can add from a personal experience:

the ruling only took 5 hours, which is considered incredibly quick;

the LGBT flag is now considered as offensive and as criminal as a exhibiting a swastika and you will be fined or worse for displaying it;

maintaining any kind of queer organization (club / event / pride / theme party) is punishable by roughly 12 years in prison;

they purposefully elected to outlaw this vague and ephemeral "international public movement" because there is no such thing as an organized public queer movement, which means legally no one can contest / dispute / etc. this ruling; or, at the very least, it would be very difficult; it is being ridiculed by some sources as absurd because it sounds like Russia is afraid of some conglomerate gay boogeyman, but the wording is actually purposefully nefarious;

none of it is surprising because this was the social understanding in this country for years, following years of other tightening of screws; i remember the propaganda ad from a few years back which was run in support of prohibiting gay couples from adopting; it was vile; it has been getting more and more homophobic and vile here with each passing day;

this line in the article is crucial: "The authorities portray LGBT activism as something inherently Western and hostile to Russia." -- russia is being deeply separated from the rest of the world by governmental propaganda, and anything Western has been considered for over a decade as malicious influence; this is directly tied to the war, too, because the public outcry and condemnation of the war by the West and the withdrawing of business and other punitive reactions are just being trotted out as more proof that the West is the immoral enemy and hostile to this nation.

so, today we, russian queers, may become "extremists" by decision of russian supreme court and thus our existence will be silenced and erased. any queer activism will be impossible for us. I don't know what to do anymore. I was heartbroken when they passed the laws about "gay propaganda" and transgender people, now I'm just numb. I don't want to escape. I just want to live safely in my own country.

please hear us.

[cumironi]

YOU ARE NOT DYING jjk men

feat. gojo, geto, nanami, toji, sukuna, shiu, higuruma

sum. MIA for two whole days, your older boyfriend finds you have been sick the whole time but don’t worry, they are here to take care of you!

warning. non-sorcerer! jjk men, you are early twenty and they are late twenty, petnames, fluff, crack,

GOJO SATORU

he bursts through your apartment door like a whirlwind in a storm — keys jangling as they hit the floor, designer sunglasses still perched on his nose, even though it's nearly sundown. the moment the door swings open, his voice echoes through the quiet, too-quiet apartment.

“sweetheart? baby?” his voice is deceptively cheerful, light and sing-song, but the tension is there, tight in the undercurrent. he hasn’t heard from you in two days. no text. no call. nothing. and you never go that quiet, not even when you’re mad at him.

satoru’s long legs carry him through your apartment like he owns the place — which, to be fair, he kind of does, considering he pays your rent without your knowledge. he steps into the dimly lit living room and freezes.

you’re there, bundled up on the couch like a miserable, sniffling ghost. oversized hoodie swallowing you whole, one of his, naturally, and a pathetic mountain of tissues around you like a fortress. there’s a blanket halfway off your legs, a cold cup of tea on the table, and your phone sitting dead by your hand.

“...what the hell,” he breathes, sunglasses slipping down his nose as he takes it in, brows furrowing under snowy bangs. “are you seriously dying in silence? do you hate me?”

you groan softly, barely able to lift your head. “didn’t wanna bother you… you’re busy with work…”

“busy with work? babe, i thought you got kidnapped by some creepy guy who’s into sniffing socks or something—which, by the way, i would’ve lost my shit over.”

he’s already moving, dropping to his knees in front of the couch, hands large and warm as they cup your flushed face. you’re burning. “oh my god, you’re so hot,” he says, wide-eyed, like it’s not from the fever. “and not in the good, ride-me-until-my-legs-don’t-work way. like… medically concerning.”

you manage a weak laugh, and he beams like you just handed him the moon. satoru brushes your hair back with trembling fingers, his usual smugness cracking under genuine concern.

“you didn’t even call me,” he murmurs, voice dipping low. “two days, angel. two days. i almost broke into your classes like a psycho sugar daddy with a god complex.”

you sniffle, leaning into his palm. “didn’t wanna make you worry…”

“i always worry about you,” he says, exasperated. “that’s, like, half my personality. haven’t you noticed?”

and then, of course, he softens — because he’s a menace, but he’s your menace. satoru stands, scooping you into his arms like you weigh nothing. you squirm, mumbling protests, but your limbs are too heavy, and his arms are warm.

“shut up. we’re doing this,” he says, already carrying you to your bed. “you’re sleeping somewhere with actual blankets and no tissue graveyard. jesus, babe, this whole place smells like menthol and heartbreak.”

he sets you down carefully, tucking the blankets around you like you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. he presses a kiss to your temple, then your cheek, then lingers near your lips, hesitant.

“can i…? or am i gonna get the plague?”

you pout. “you’ll get sick.”

“worth it,” he says immediately, leaning down and giving you the softest kiss — just enough pressure to make your heart ache, his thumb brushing your cheek like he’s scared you’ll disappear.

when he pulls back, he’s grinning again, wicked this time. “besides, i bet i’d look hot with a fever. you’d have to nurse me back to health in, like, a slutty little nurse outfit. win-win, right?”

you roll your eyes, but your smile gives you away. “you’re impossible.”

“and you’re my favorite stupid little college girl who forgets to eat when she’s sick.” his hands are already sliding under the covers, slipping around your waist, pulling you close. “so now i’m gonna hold you like a clingy teddy bear, make you drink water, and maybe talk about how good you’d look drooling all over my shirt.”

you snort. “what happened to concern?”

“baby, i am concerned. but i’m also very horny, emotionally overwhelmed, and tragically in love with you. deal with it.”

you let him spoon you from behind, his breath warm on your neck, his body a furnace. his fingers trace lazy circles on your stomach, lips brushing your shoulder.

“next time you’re sick,” he mumbles, “you better call me. i swear to god, i’ll tattoo my number on your forehead if that’s what it takes.”

you nod sleepily, and satoru kisses the shell of your ear.

“good girl.”

GETO SUGURU

he doesn’t knock.

he doesn’t need to — your spare key has been hanging on his keyring for months now, worn from use. suguru opens your door slowly, shoulders tense under his tailored black coat, hair pulled into a lazy low bun like he didn’t even bother styling it this morning. he’s been in meetings all day, working too much, sleeping too little — and now, he’s standing in your apartment, greeted by silence and dim, static air.

“baby?”

his voice is low, velvety, laced with concern that makes your stomach twist. it’s the first time you’ve heard him in two days. you were too sick, too dizzy, too caught up in your own haze of shivers and aching limbs to call him, even though you wanted to. god, you wanted to.

you hear his steps grow closer, steady and measured, then stop right in front of your bedroom door. it creaks open. his tall frame fills the doorway.

and that’s all it takes.

your throat tightens immediately, and like a switch flipped, you burst into tears. snotty, pathetic, breathless sobs that hit you harder than you expected. your voice cracks as you try to speak, but nothing coherent comes out — just a whimper, an ugly sniffle, and a tremble in your bottom lip.

“suguru…” you croak, eyes watery as you sit up on the bed.

his expression falters for half a second — just a flicker of panic under the cool surface. he moves toward you so fast it’s like instinct, dropping his bag to the floor and shrugging off his coat in one motion.

but you beat him to it.

you swing your legs over the edge of the bed with all the theatrical effort of a dying victorian bride, forcing your shaky body upright. it makes your vision spin, but you don’t care — you throw your arms open dramatically, like some sad, flu-stricken princess summoning her knight.

“hold me,” you sniffle, hiccupping through the tears. “i’m sick and miserable and ugly, and i think i’m dying.”

he blinks. then huffs a breath — a soft, low laugh, like he doesn’t know whether to kiss you or scold you.

“you’re the most dramatic little brat i’ve ever seen,” he murmurs, but he’s already on his knees in front of you, pulling you into his chest. his arms wrap around you fully, palms spread over your back as he tucks your face into the crook of his neck.

“i missed you,” you whimper into his skin, voice cracking. “i was too dizzy to text you and i tried to make soup but it just turned into sadness—”

“shh,” he whispers, stroking your hair gently. “breathe, baby. you’re okay now.”

you cling to him like a koala, fists bunching the back of his shirt. your body sags in his arms, and he holds you up without flinching, like he wants to carry your weight, all of it — your illness, your loneliness, your melodramatic sniffles.

“two days without you and i already look like a corpse,” you mumble. “my skin’s grey. i’m withering.”

he chuckles against your hair, then pulls back just enough to cup your flushed cheeks. “hm. dramatic. needy. sick. crying in my arms like a heartbroken soap opera wife.” his thumb brushes your bottom lip. “you know that’s kind of hot, right?”

you blink. “i’m literally disgusting right now.”

“you’re my favorite disgusting little creature,” he says, and kisses your forehead. “now lie back. i’m going to order real food, give you meds, and make you drink water even if i have to hold your nose shut.”

you sniffle again, eyes fluttering shut as you nuzzle into his chest.

“you’re gonna spoil me,” you mumble.

he smiles, kissing your hair.

“i already do, sweetheart.”

his hand trails lower under the blanket, slipping to your waist, possessive and warm.

“and after you stop looking like a dying victorian girl,” he murmurs by your ear, voice dipping low, “i’m gonna spoil you in other ways.”

you groan into his chest, heat blooming in your cheeks. “gross.”

“mm. you love it.”

and he’s right. because even at your worst — sick, crying, clingy — suguru geto looks at you like you’re the only thing that’s ever made his life worth slowing down for.

NANAMI KENTO

he should’ve come sooner.

the thought pounds in his head, rhythmic and steady like the ticking of his watch as he pushes into your apartment with a key he made you give him months ago — “for emergencies,” you said, laughing. but this feels like one. you hadn’t texted him back in two days, and that’s unlike you. you were always eager to reply, dramatic even in your “i miss you” messages. so when the silence stretched into a second night, nanami ended his meeting mid-sentence, picked up his coat, and walked out without an ounce of hesitation.

the moment he steps inside, he knows something’s wrong.

your apartment smells off — like the sour tang of sickness masked under old lavender candles. he closes the door quietly, gaze sharp as he sets down his briefcase and calls your name once, calmly.

no answer.

the bathroom light is on.

and then he hears it — the retching.

nanami’s blood runs cold. he moves fast, faster than you’d ever expect from the man who lectures you about walking too quickly indoors. the bathroom door is cracked open. inside, you’re slumped on the cold tile, hugging the toilet bowl, trembling and feverish. your hoodie is sticking to your back with sweat, your knees red from the floor.

you don’t hear him. not until his calm, familiar voice cuts through the haze.

“sweetheart.”

your head jerks up weakly. your voice comes out hoarse, cracking. “kento…?”

he doesn’t say anything at first — just takes a slow breath and kneels beside you, sleeves rolled up in one fluid motion. his tie dangles over your shoulder as he brushes your damp hair back gently, then reaches for the towel nearby to wipe your mouth. his hand doesn’t shake, but his jaw clenches. tight.

“how long has this been happening?” he asks softly, but there’s steel under it. restrained panic. the kind that only surfaces when something he cares about is suffering — and you are the only one who makes him lose control like this.

you sniffle, dazed. “since last night… thought it would pass…”

“and you didn’t call me.”

“you were working,” you mumble. “didn’t wanna stress you out.”

nanami lets out a breath. a sharp one. he gently presses the back of his hand to your forehead, his frown deepening. you’re burning up.

“you’re shaking,” he mutters. “you’re not staying in here another second.”

“but i threw up—”

“exactly why you’re not staying in here,” he says firmly.

and that’s when your vision blurs again, but this time with hot tears. you cover your face with your hands, voice cracking like glass. “i feel gross, kento. i smell disgusting. my mouth tastes like death. i wanted to clean up before you came and now you’re seeing me like this—”

he doesn’t let you spiral.

his hands, large and warm, wrap around your wrists and gently pull them from your face. he leans in, forehead to yours, voice calm but low.

“you think any of that matters to me?” he whispers. “you’re sick. and you’re mine. i don’t care if you smell like hell. you’re still the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen.”

you sniff, swallowing another sob. “i look like a wet rat.”

he presses a kiss to your damp forehead. “then you’re my wet rat.”

and despite everything, you laugh — a weak, wet, pitiful sound, but it makes him smile.

then he lifts you. no warning. one smooth motion, as if you weigh nothing. your arms cling to his neck, dizzy and lightheaded as he carries you out of the bathroom and down the hall.

“where—?”

“bed? no,” he says, striding straight past it. “you’re burning up and soaked through.”

he stops in front of your closet and kicks it open gently. “clean clothes,” he mutters. “then i’m drawing you a bath.”

you blink. “aren’t you going to let me change myself?”

he looks at you, unimpressed. “do you really think i’m letting you stand on your own right now?”

you pout. “you’re bossy when i’m sick.”

“i’m bossy because you’re reckless and dramatic and refuse to call me when you need help,” he says, setting you down on the edge of your bed. his hands reach up, unzipping your hoodie with such care it makes your breath catch. “and if you ever do this again, i swear to god—”

you reach out weakly, tugging at his tie. “you’ll what?”

he leans in, gaze dark and heavy.

“i’ll handcuff you to my bed and monitor your temperature every hour until you learn your lesson.”

your eyes go wide. “…is that a threat or a promise?”

his lips curl into the barest smirk.

“both.”

TOJI FUSHIGURO

you were crying. again.

but not soft, delicate tears — oh no. it was messy, snotty, full-volume dramatic sobbing, the kind you’d only let out in the privacy of your kitchen, hunched over like some tragic figure in a bad medical drama.

the bottle of meds sat in front of you. sealed. stupid. evil.

and your fingers? useless. trembling. too weak to twist it open. your body had already betrayed you all day — shivering under five blankets, sweating through them an hour later, barely able to sit up without seeing stars. and this goddamn childproof bottle was the final straw.

“open,” you whispered hoarsely, turning it with your palms, your arms shaking.

“open, please… i’m not strong enough, oh my god. i’m a weak pathetic little victorian widow.”

you tried again. failed again.

your bottom lip quivered.

you dropped your head onto the counter with a dramatic thunk.

“this is it,” you wailed to no one. “this is how i die. taken out by a five-dollar bottle of generic tylenol.”

and that was, of course, the exact moment the front door opened with a heavy thud.

of course it was toji.

he was supposed to be out — working, training, maybe casually intimidating someone. but no. your hot mess of a dramatic arc just had to intersect with him at the peak of your suffering.

“you better not be on the floor again,” his voice called out dryly.

you gasped. “toji—!”

and in he walked, black shirt clinging to his chest, hair still slightly wet from the shower he probably took at the gym, eyebrow cocked in that way — the one that said he knew he was walking into bullshit.

he paused at the kitchen doorway.

you were curled in front of the counter, shaking like a leaf in your hoodie and fuzzy socks, cradling the bottle of meds in your hands like it was your last hope.

your eyes, glossy with fever and tears, locked on him like he was salvation.

“babe,” you croaked, dramatic hand on your heart. “i’m too weak. i need you.”

his face was unreadable.

then he sighed.

“you can’t open your meds bottle?”

“no,” you sobbed. “i tried. i begged. i even yelled at it. and it laughed at me, toji.”

he walked over slowly. “the bottle laughed at you?”

“with its silence.”

“you’re outta your damn mind.”

you whimpered as he took the bottle from your hands like it was the easiest thing in the world. he twisted it open with one hand. one hand.

your mouth dropped open in betrayal.

“don’t gloat,” you muttered.

“i didn’t say anything.”

“you were thinking it. i can hear your thoughts. they’re all smug and condescending.”

toji plucked two pills out, popped them in your hand. “yeah? what else are my thoughts saying?”

“they’re saying, ‘wow, my girlfriend’s so weak and small and pitiful, i could crush her with one hand.’”

he snorted, pushing the water bottle toward you.

“i’d rather use the one hand to spank you next time you act like an idiot instead of calling me.”

your eyes widened. “i was preserving your peace!”

“and i’m preserving your life, you dramatic little shit.”

you downed the meds, still sniffling. “i want chicken soup and cuddles.”

“yeah? say please.”

you glared at him.

he leaned down, grabbed you by the back of the thighs, and lifted you up with zero warning, tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

you squealed. “toji—!”

“you want cuddles? you get ‘em after soup. and no more dying alone in the kitchen, dumbass.”

you whined into his back, but your fingers were already gripping the hem of his shirt, safe and secure.

he set you on the couch, tucked you in aggressively, and went back to the kitchen to slam pots around. the bottle of meds still sat on the counter, now open. completely defeated.

you glared at it from your blanket cocoon.

“i hope you fall off the counter and roll under the fridge, you little bitch.”

“what was that?” toji called.

“nothing, babe! love you!”

“that’s what i thought.”

RYOMEN SUKUNA

he knew something was off the second he walked through the door.

your apartment was dark. quiet. no sounds of you stomping around, no dramatic voice echoing from the bedroom about how he never refills the snacks or always leaves his rings on the counter like you’re his damn butler.

nothing.

just silence.

and sukuna?

he doesn’t do silence when it comes to you.

so his voice comes loud, sharp. “oi. where the fuck are you?”

no answer.

he’s already heading down the hall, jaw tight, fingers twitching like he’s ready to rip the universe in half if it’s taken you from him. he calls for you again—louder this time. still nothing. until—

a soft, pathetic sound.

gagging.

choking.

then… sniffling.

he throws open the bathroom door and freezes.

you’re on the cold tile, curled up dramatically beside the toilet like a tragic heroine in some bad romance movie. your hair is a mess, face flushed with fever, nose red, eyes glassy with tears. you’re shivering in one of his oversized shirts, legs tucked up like a child. and you’re talking to yourself.

rambling.

like you’re saying goodbye.

“tell… tell my mom i loved her,” you whisper hoarsely to no one. “and you can have my manga… just not the signed ones. bury me with those. and don’t let that bitch from the office come to my funeral—”

sukuna blinks. hard.

“what. the fuck,” he growls, stepping in. “are you doing?”

you gasp, like he’s a ghost. “sukuna? is that you? i can’t see, i’m so cold—”

he crouches beside you instantly, hands grabbing your face. your skin is clammy. lips dry. eyes dramatic as hell.

you’re not dying.

you’ve just been throwing up for hours and working yourself into a spiral.

“are you fuckin’ kidding me right now?” he hisses, brushing your hair back, eyes scanning every inch of you. “you didn’t call. didn’t text. didn’t scream at me for buying the wrong brand of tea. i thought someone killed you.”

you sniffle, grabbing his wrist with trembling fingers. “i tried to crawl to the kitchen… to get water… but then i thought, what’s the point? i’m dying anyway—”

he looks like he’s two seconds from slamming his fist into the wall.

“you’ve got a stomach bug. not the plague. stop acting like you’re in a fuckin’ soap opera.”

“easy for you to say,” you croak. “you’re not the one rotting from the inside out.”

sukuna lets out a sound that’s half-growl, half-laugh, and scoops you into his arms like you weigh nothing. you cling to him instantly, arms locking around his neck like a koala.

“don’t cremate me,” you mumble into his throat. “i wanna be dramatic even in death. open casket. fake lashes. maybe some light fog and music—”

he cuts you off with a sharp slap to your thigh. “shut up.”

you gasp, offended. “did you just spank me on my deathbed?!”

“you’re not dying,” he growls, carrying you to the bed. “but if you keep talking, i’ll kill you myself.”

you whimper pitifully in his arms. “then… will you at least keep my diary? the one hidden in the closet behind the shoe box? don’t read it—”

“i’ve already read it.”

“what?!”

he lays you down gently, brushing his thumb across your damp cheek.

“you wrote about me in it,” he says, voice low and dangerous now, “every page. even the ones where you were mad. you love me so much it’s pathetic.”

you sniff, cheeks heating up. “i’m allowed to be obsessed with you. it’s your fault.”

he leans down, face inches from yours. “and i’m gonna baby you so hard after this that you’re gonna wish you died, brat.”

“you promise?” you whisper.

his eyes flash with something possessive, raw, feral.

“yeah,” he says, dragging his thumb along your bottom lip, “but only after i get some fluids in you. and not the kind you’re thinking, you filthy little goblin.”

you smile weakly.

and sukuna — your unhinged, dangerous, older boyfriend — tucks you into bed, curses the germs under his breath, and spends the entire night at your side.

because dramatic or not… you’re his.

and he’s not letting you go.

SHIU KONG

he had a key.

of course he had a key. he demanded it after you once locked yourself out at 3 a.m. wearing nothing but a t-shirt and one sock, sobbing over forgotten dumplings. "never again," he’d muttered, shoving the key into his wallet with the same reverence he gave blackmail material.

he wasn’t expecting the door to be unlocked today.

or to hear… whimpering.

low, pitiful, echoing from somewhere deeper in the apartment.

“babe?” he calls out, already slipping off his shoes. his voice carries a lazy calm, the kind he always uses when he’s preparing for bullshit. “you better not be doing something stupid again.”

he turns the corner and freezes.

you’re on the floor.

literally on the floor, crawling toward the kitchen like a Victorian orphan in the final act. your blanket is trailing behind you like a cape, your hair a mess, eyes glassy with tears as you stretch your trembling hand toward the counter like it’s the promised land.

you pause, mid-drag, and look up at him with the most heartbroken face he’s ever seen.

“i dropped… my toast…”

shiu blinks.

you sniffle. “it fell jelly-side down.”

his lips twitch. “oh no.”

“and then i got dizzy.”

“mhm.”

“and i think the floor is sucking the life out of me, shiu.”

he’s walking toward you now, casually, like he’s not biting back a laugh. “you’re telling me… you belly-crawled like a war hero because you dropped toast?”

“i’m starving. i haven’t eaten in days.”

he bends down, squats beside you, one elbow resting on his knee as he watches you dramatically paw at the floor like you’re about to fade into the afterlife.

“you had broth.”

“broth isn’t food. it’s liquid regret.”

shiu snorts. actually snorts. “you’re outta your mind.”

but his voice is gentler now, and without warning, he slips an arm under your waist and another beneath your knees, lifting you like you weigh nothing. you yelp, clinging to his shirt.

“shiu! put me down! i was making progress!”

“toward what? an oscar?”

“toward the toaster!”

he carries you to the couch instead, ignoring your weak little kicks as he deposits you like a fragile treasure, tucks your blanket around you like he hasn’t seen you cry over expired yogurt before, then leans in close.

his voice drops, soft and dangerous.

“next time you wanna reenact your dramatic death, text me first, sweetheart.”

“i didn’t wanna bother you.”

“you’re my favorite kind of bother.”

you blink up at him, pout trembling.

“you’re such an asshole.”

he grins, brushes your hair back gently with a sigh. “but i’m your asshole.”

and then he disappears into the kitchen, mumbling something about how he’s going to make toast the size of your face and spoon-feed you if you try to crawl again.

he does.

he even cuts it into heart shapes.

he just won’t admit it.

HIROMI HIGURUMA

he knew something was off the second he called and you didn’t answer.

you always answered. even if it was just a groggy voice telling him you hated his ringtone and to never call you again. so when he’d finished his meeting, walked out of the courthouse with his tie loosened and a coffee he didn’t even want, and still hadn’t heard from you?

his stomach turned.

fifteen minutes later, he was at your apartment door, unlocking it with the key you gave him the night you first got sick and told him he was your emergency contact “because you look like you’d yell at doctors for me.”

he pushes the door open.

“...hello?”

silence.

and then—

soft sniffles. pen scratching paper. a dramatic sigh.

he follows the sound to the living room and—

freezes.

there you are. wrapped in a blanket like a sad little lump, sitting cross-legged on the floor with your head resting against the coffee table. a whole stack of napkins laid out in front of you like legal documents, each one written in your slightly-shaky, overly-loopy script.

he walks closer, blinking at the one closest to him.

“to my beloved hiromi: you can have my succulents, even though you always forget to water them. i forgive you. i love you. tell my cat i said bye.”

his brow twitches. “...what the hell is this?”

you jump, head snapping up like a child caught drawing on the walls. your eyes are watery and dramatic, red from crying, your nose a little stuffy and your cheeks flushed from fever. you clutch a pen like it’s a quill and you’re writing your last will before war.

“you came,” you whisper.

“yeah. what the hell is going on.”

you sniffle, voice soft and shaking. “i think i’m dying.”

he looks at the box of tissues, the half-empty bottle of cough syrup, and the room-temperature cup of tea on the table.

“you have a cold.”

“a terminal one.”

he sighs, long-suffering but fond, dropping the briefcase onto the floor with a soft thud.

“you sent me twelve napkin letters. in one of them you said i can have your pinterest password when you die.”

“you should know what i liked. to mourn properly.”

“you also left the air fryer to nanami.”

“he said he liked it once!”

he crouches down in front of you, long legs folding easily, eyes scanning your flushed face. he lifts a hand to press it gently to your forehead.

“jesus,” he mutters. “you’re burning up.”

you gaze at him with tear-filled devotion. “if i go, you have to be the one to eulogize me. make it sound like i was sexy and mysterious.”

“you’re congested and covered in napkins.”

“so was marilyn monroe probably.”

hiromi lets out a soft breath. then he leans forward, gathering you into his arms with a slow, practiced motion, your blanket and all, lifting you gently until you’re in his lap, cheek pressed against his shoulder.

you melt into him instantly, mumbling, “i left you my lip balm too. don’t let another girl use it.”

he hums. presses a kiss to your forehead.

“don’t worry, angel. you’re not dying.”

“you sound like a lawyer.”

“i am one. and i can legally promise you’re going to be fine.”

you grumble something about rewriting your will just in case, and he lets you. even picks up a fresh napkin for you and hands you your glitter pen with a quiet, indulgent smile.

“just let me make you some soup after,” he murmurs. “and then i’ll read every one of your dramatic goodbyes.”

“even the one where i left you my collection of embarrassing texts?”

“especially that one.”

he holds you tighter. his voice soft, but his touch firm. grounding. safe.

because for all your chaos, he wouldn’t be anywhere else.

[m00nbunny1]

⭐🌈 Age Regression Support! 🌈⭐

Hi everyone!

I wanted to give some things if you've been having trouble finding agere stuff! Enjoy everyone :)

🌟 YouTubers 💫

Moon Candy / Pinksugarhartt

lia ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ / angellimbed

tt's dollhouse / bwallerina

ItsSageʕ·ᴥ·ʔ / ItzMe_Sage

elfipup / elfipup

bunnie! 🩷🐇 / vexedbabie

pwincess smol bean / pwincesssmolbean

Chubibunbuns / Chubibunbuns

Minty (* ^ ω ^) / Mintyssocks

punziebell / punziebell

Babie Dani ♡/ BabieDani

Sugarplum's Agere / sugarplumsagere7141

AspenSprout/ aspensprout5212

🎼 Playlists 🎶

age regression / little space playlist! - uncreative

⋆˚࿔ 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 / 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - ♡ bugz safe space ♡

♠︎ 「 Agere Music Box Playlist V1 」 ♠︎ - funtomnoms

Silly Kiddo! - An Agere Playtime Playlist - Mikey_LittleSpace

Age regression / little space playlist - Kiki

🍼💤 Gamer baby! ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ littlespace music box playlist 💤🍼 - Tommy

agere playlist! - happy background music - Tommy

Relax Little One - An Agere Sleep Playlist (Music Box + Rain) - Mikey_LittleSpace

🍭 Ideas🌷

Draw!

Read!

Play video games!

Watch some shows!

If you have chalk, draw on the sidewalk!

Do a puzzle!

Play with plushies if you have them!

Write about your day!

Make some crafts! It can be bracelets, pottery, or whatever you can find around the house!

Take a walk if you feel adventurous!

🍀 Health 🐸

Make sure to eat plenty of food, you need to be healthy and strong to take on the day.

Drink plenty of liquids as well! It might be fun playing, but staying hydrated is just as important.

If you have any medication that's been prescribed to you, don't forget to take it as well. Don't forget to take care of yourself, and make sure that you have your medicine!

Exhausted? Don't feel afraid to take a nap! If you ever get sleepy, just know that you'll be able to play and have fun in the morning... Make sure to rest up and stay strong :)

Be sure to stay clean as well, and scrub good! Make sure that you wash properly and do a good job. I know it may seem daunting, but it's well worth it.

❤ Support and Love 💌

Know that without a doubt, I support you, and want you to have a great day / night! You are valid and are such a brave kid, even if you don't think of yourself as brave, I do. Stay your amazing self, and just know that I'm cheering you on every step of the way! :D

(Dividers made by @kodaswrld )

[searchingwardrobes]

I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.

If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.

They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.

My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.

I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?

My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.

So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.

[chiumii]

SIZE ~ (true form) sukuna x reader ౨ৎ .⋆。⊹ 18+

thinking about kuna with a size kink....... is not good for my mental health omg. sukuna has been stalking you for what seem like years. Watching you when you walk to class, going out with your friends, heading to work,,, and who you fuck yourself late at night. You've always had a feeling as if you were being watched for the last couple years. An unknown darkness that follows you around. It should have scared you away,,,, but you couldn't help but give into your sinful desires... especially on the night that this darkness comes to pay you a little visit.

word count: 7600 sukuna x reader smut. size kink,,, obviously. dumbification, fingering, slapping, overstimulation, heavy smut, corruption kink, stalking, voyeurism, breeding, monster fucking, heavy CNC. Double penetration. Perv! Monster! Stalker! Sukuna x Innocent! reader (I have a problem). True form sukuna smut (yes, we get a double dicker sandwich).

Sukuna always knew that he had a size kink, he just never acknowledged the fact until he met you. You were so small compared to him, it was like you were just a measly doll, a puppet. So pretty, so small, and so, so very innocent. He almost felt guilty for the things he fantasizes about doing to you. almost.

He additionally almost felt a little guilty for how many times he'd watched you masturbate through your window late into the night. The sounds you make while touching your pretty pussy were the only thing that calmed him after a long and stressful evening. He had been doing this for a while. Watching you, that is. He liked watching you get dressed for the day, guessing what makeup style you were planning on doing, the little pop you did with your lips right after you applied your lip gloss. It should be disgusting how many times he's rubbed one out to the sight of you popping those pretty pink, full glossy lips. but he didn't care nor did he feel a tinge of disgust towards himself.

He enjoyed all the times he's watched you walk to and from your little cafe job down the street. How your routine consisted of grabbing a coffee at a different spot despite being able to make yourself a free one at your place of work. How you would play with and feed your cats before heading out for the day.

He also enjoyed the days where you went out with your friends to the mall to shop, or to a restaurant for girls night. He especially liked it when you and your girls went out for dinner. All the cute and godawful tiny dresses you found yourself wearing always just about make him lose his cool. The only thing he hated about girls night out was the fact that you knew you were sexy, meaning men swarmed around you like vultures, eyeing you like a piece of meat. It made him want to bend you over the nearest table and fuck you right in front of everyone.

Sukuna owned you, he just hasn't put the collar on you yet.

Tonight was one of those nights where you went out with your girlfriends. Your hair was done up all pretty and your makeup took you hours to perfect, but it was all worth it for the evil, thigh clasping presence you felt in the dark corner of the club you were in. Your glossy lips were a tint of pink and your cheeks matched the deep red of the short dress you were wearing. The familiar dark energy seemed to be radiating all around you, more than normal.

He knew you couldn't see him, but sukuna stood at that corner of the room, hidden away from all the humans, his eyes locked onto one. Sweat glistened on the top of your breasts, and your lips seemed more plump than normal. But the thing that was driving him crazy was the fact that one man couldn't seem to leave you alone. he kept coming up to you in desprate search of starting a conversation, shamelessly eyeballing your prominent curves and licking his lips. sukuna wanted to explode his head right then and there for trying to seduce his woman. And what pissed him off even more was the fact that you were actually playing into it.

You kept making small touches to the mans arm whenever he said something "funny" and you bit your lip whenever he complimented you. But sukuna knew that your laugh wasn't genuine and your smile was a fake. He knew the real you. Of course he did. He'd been stalking you for months, if not years. he made his claim a while ago, and he wasn't gonna let some scrawny low life steal his property with a couple sad jokes.

Your smile faltered just a hair when you felt the dark presence leave the club. It was almost like a warm blanket had been ripped off of you. Your eyes seemed to glaze over, which led the random man to ask if you were okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just feel sick for some reason" your response was an obvious lie, but apparently good enough for the man to believe.

"oh, are you alright, would you like a ride back to yours?" He asks, and to be completely honest, kinda made you cringe. Of course you didn't want a ride because the only reason you were talking to him was to make whatever was watching you jealous.

Sukuna found interest in you because of your innocence. But oh was he in for a surprise. You knew something had been following you, you knew it had been watching you whenever you touched yourself late at night. You've felt it since the very beginning.

its like you had your own curse.

You should have told somebody when the red flags started popping up out of nowhere; they started out small, ranging from your couch pillows being moved around, then progressed into things like your favorite pair of panties going missing, then to things that freaked you out, like waking up to your bedroom window being open in the morning even though you know for a fact that you had closed and locked it. You should have moved apartments. You should have done something when this started happening.

But you didn't. And it made you sick. Getting off on the fact that you knew you were being stalked by whatever was hunting you.

And the fact that you were upset that the mysterious darkness had left proves just how disgusting you actually are.

"guys, I think im gonna call a cab, I just got hit with a wave of sickness and I really just wanna go home and sleep" you told your friends after shooing off the man you had no interest in.

"omg girl are you okay? of course go home and rest im so sorry!" one of your friends said right after taking her 4th shot.

"yeah im fine, just not really feeling it"

"text me when you get home!"

Staring at the dark yet lively city lights flashing by you, you kept thinking about the little stalker you seem to have. You thought it was weird how turned on you got just from an energy, from a presence. You've never felt so.. needed. so, praised ?

No man, or woman. Has ever given you so much confidence, if that's the right word. And because of that, you've never felt another human beings intimate touch. You only want its touch. Whatever it is.

Sukuna knows what he does to you. He could basically see it radiating off of you. How much confidence you gained and how well you hold yourself. And he'd never been happier to be the one gifting you that grace. That's actually the main thing that peaked his interest about you. The way you held yourself throughout life. Nothing could stop you from getting what you want, and he admired that. It made him question himself at first, being so interested about a human being. It made him debate on keeping you alive. How dare a human make him question himself.

But that passed quickly the first time he'd seen your fingers fuck your pussy. it was delicious. he had to restrain himself from shattering your balcony door and fucking you stupid.

You felt it leaking through the cracks of your front door. It felt different than all the other times its followed you around and watched you throughout your life. It was stronger, and it turned you on so, so much more than normal.

You stood outside your apartment door debating on going inside. Your face was burning and your pussy was throbbing.

It felt like you were going absolutely insane, and it pissed you off not knowing what was making you into such a pathetic mess. With a deep breath, you opened your door only to be met with darkness aside from a few street lights illuminating your living room in a dull yellow.

You set your stuff on the couch before walking into your room, slinging your door open, you didn't even have to turn the light on to know that whatever it was, had decided to perch itself in your bed.

For the first time in years, you actually felt scared of whatever it was. Your whole demeanor changed in an instant, and it made sukuna chuckle.

That chuckle vibrated throughout your skull, straight down your core.

Wanting to fold in on yourself out of fear, but too turned on to do so; you walked in, closing the door behind you. Sukuna's eyes never leaving your much smaller frame.

Trying to hide the fact that almost your entire being is screaming at you to run away from the thing in front of you, you stand your ground.

"What are you?" You ask the figure you have yet to fully lay eyes on. All you're able to make out is a monster-like figure with four arms, two behind its head using them as a cushion against your headboard, and the other two resting on its thighs. Its legs are long and big, both of them spread apart, inviting you in, in the most almost taunting way imaginable. Its face is completely hidden in the dark, restricting you from seeing the cocky, shit eating grin plastered on its face.

"What a weird first question to ask, y/n."

Its voice sent chills down your spine, creating an even stronger pulse in your heart, and your clit. You involuntarily suck in a breath at the sound of its voice. Deep, husky and masculine. It's nothing like you've ever heard before, and it makes your skin crawl in excitement and fear.

He chuckles again at the gasp you let out. You stay in your spot, making sure to keep a safe distance away from him.

"Answer my question." The words left your throat as more of a command than anything else. Your eyes never leave his frame, even as he removes his arms behind his head and lean forward, crossing them across his chest. His eyes never leave your body either, drinking in the sight of your skimpy dress.

All he wants to do is burn it off of you and make you scream his name as you cream all over his cock, but that'll take a minute to happen, so he answers you instead.

"King of curses, my dear." His voice sending another wave of shivers coursing through your body. He stands, and your entire body starts screaming at you to run away. but despite that, you hold your ground, challenging the being in front of you.

He's at least over 7 feet tall, one set of arms still crossed over his chest, the other finds their way to rest on his hips.

"The name is Sukuna." You just about drop to your knees. not only is his voice is unbearable, but you've heard about him before. You never believed in ghosts, curses, spiritual beings, anything of the sort and you've never believed any of your friends or family members when they told you legends about the man standing before you, yet here you are. About to be torn apart by the king they've warned you about for so many years.

"Guess you've heard about me, hm?" You can't get your damn mouth to move or your throat to make any noise. Your eyes are as wide as planets and all you can do is take a shaky step back, mimicking his opposite step forward and towards you.

"Why- why are you here?" voice is shaking as you speak, your breathing is jagged, which is prominent in your stutter. Just as sukuna takes another step forward, his features are illuminated in the moonlight shining through your bedroom windows curtains. He's absolutely breathtaking, and not many people would say that.

I guess I really am fucked up huh

"oh y/n, don't play dumb now, doll." His grin never leaves his face and your eyes meet with his. He's scary in the best way possible, and it's making you want to wipe off that dumb grin by sitting on it.

"You're the one whose..." You take a moment to think, which is extremely hard when this monster starts stalking towards you ever so slowly, both sets of arms coming down to dangle by his sides. He tilts his head to the side and begins to hunch his back and bend over to get a closer look at you. The distance is closing in on the two of you, making you unintentionally walk backwards and into a wall.

The sudden feeling of the cold wall on your back makes you yelp in surprise, but you never look away. He hums at you, signaling you to finish your sentence.

"You're the one whose been watching me for so long.." You say under your breath. Chewing the skin on the bottom of your lip. Your hands clench into fists as he keeps getting closer and closer.

"don't act like you didn't enjoy my little haunting game, love. you do remember touching yourself just to the thought of me, right y/n?" His smug smile could be heard just by the tone of his voice. Your breathing deepens and he's stopped right in front of you, face to face with the thing that's been taking over your entire life for the past couple years. Your back would be disappearing into the wall if it weren't made out of sheetrock. He stands up fully and all you can do is stare straight ahead, looking directly in the center of his entire body. He's fucking huge. Letting out a shriveled breath, you close your eyes.

"Look at me, y/n."

You refuse to open your eyes, or even move in the slightest.

He gives you 15 seconds before one of his hands grips the base of your jaw and forces your face upwards to look at him, nails digging into the flesh of your rosy cheeks.

"I said, look at me." With a fearful yelp at the sudden contact, you force your eyes open and are met with the most sinful red eyes you could ever see in this lifetime.

"Good girl." He snickers at the petrified look that paints your face. Even though you look so scared, your eyes are clouded with so much lust. Sukuna can basically smell the arousal pooling in your panties and it's driving him up the wall. Without a word, he pins you in place, making no room for escape by pressing his one of his forearms against the wall above your head, another one finds its way trailing up your thigh.

You let out a desprate sigh at the contact of his fingers. He traces up the skin of your inner thigh, leaving goosebumps to trail behind until he's met with the flimsy fabric of your underwear and it takes him less than a fraction of a second to feel just how soaked you really are.

"You're disgusting." His voice somehow got an octave deeper, but who are you to complain? You whine at his words, following a louder whine as he starts to trace the slit of your pussy through your underwear. Sukuna's hand locks your head in place as you look up into his eyes as he pushes your underwear to the side and pinches your clit, his fingernails creating a painfully pleasurable feeling.

With a loud yelp, your hips buck forward. With his final free arm, he uses his hand to push your hips back against the wall, keeping you in one place.

"Stay still." He commands. His hand on your hip is locking you in place, so you have no option than to obey. His finger traces patterns on your clit and moans dance off your tongue as a result. His fingers pick up the pace and are now harshly massaging at your center.

"a-ah, slow ple-" Without stopping his brutal pace, sukuna lets go of your face and just before it can fall forward, he grips a handful of your hair and yanks it backwards roughly. your eyes to lock with his once more. A scream at the sudden pain erupts from the back of your throat.

"Don't tell me what to do, i'll use you how I please." Sukuna pulls his fingers away from your clit only to land a harsh slap on the bundle of nerves, making you yelp loudly and your body jolt in surprise. He slaps it a couple more times before forcing two of his fingers into your wet pussy.

Sukuna's fingers slide in with ease thanks to his assult on your clit. He was standing at such a close proximity to your body that when your back archesoff the wall, your stomach and chest meet his front. Just as your body meets his, he decides to let go of your hair, making your head fall forward and onto his center. Your hands instinctually reach up and wrap around his body, using him as leverage to keep yourself from falling. Your nails dig into his back as his fingers work wonders deep inside of you, all you can do is bury your head into him to suppress your noises.

His fingers pump in and out of your pussy, curling and twisting at all the right angles, fingering your core as if he's trying to tear you apart from the inside out. Wet sounds come from just below you, but neither of you seem to hear them because they're drowned out by your loud moans and whimpers of pleasure. Sukuna's eyes never leave your body as you come undone.

His now free hand that was once in your hair decides to hook under your thigh, picking it up and letting it dangle, helping get a better angle to fuck you with his fingers. Because of this newfound angle, your back and head hit the wall behind you once more, but your arms don't leave his body.

"Look at you, such a pretty girl. So fuckin' small I could break you so, so easily." Your nails scratch at his back like there is no tomorrow and all you can do as a response is whimper.

"su- kuna" Your hiccuped plea of his name is enough to know you're about to cum all over his fingers, but he wont let that happen just yet.

"say it, y/n" Sukuna says, his voice solid. You look up, tears welled in your eyes as you look into his and your voice breaks.

"Please can I cum, please k-una please please please" Your cheeks are a deep shade of red and your mouth is slightly ajar and oh does sukuna wanna fill up your pretty mouth and ruin that pretty pink lipgloss that stain your full lips.

Without another word, his smirk deepens and his chuckle vibrates inside your skull. He takes his fingers out of you, your juices now running down your thighs and you're pretty sure your panties are completely ruined thanks to the demon above you. Your eyes widen while you plea him to continue with a hushed whimper.

"Hush, little one" is all he says before one set of arms is gripping your thighs and hauling you into the air. Your legs wrap around his torso on instinct and your throat lets out a surprised squeal at his actions. Your hands come up and one of them grips his shoulder, the other rests in his hair. You're now face to face with sukuna and his eyes look deeply into yours. one of his other free hand's is tangled in your hair within a fraction of a second and is pulling you in to kiss him with so much force, it almost gives you whiplash.

Your tongue tangles with his and you let out another squeal of surprise right into his mouth when your back hits the cushioning of your bed. Sukuna is now on top of you, his torso flat against your heat. The hand that was once tangled in your hair is now trailing its way to your neck. Sukuna breaks the kiss and you go to lean forward in protest, but his huge hand wrapped around your neck stops you. Another hand rests on the headboard above you, and the two that were holding you up now rest at the top of your dress.

With brute force and in the blink of an eye, your once beautiful red dress and strapless braw are now being ripped off of you, tiny flames ignite from the freshly ripped seam for a just a fraction of a second. You gasp at the sudden action and Sukuna's glowing red eyes never falter to look at the reaction on your face. He laughs once more at just how jumpy you are. the cold air hits your skin, causing your nipples to grow hard and goosebumps form on your smooth skin. Sukuna grabs the dress and bra out from under you and throw the articles of clothing across the room to be forgotten, all while looking right at you. Once the dress is out of sight, you look up at him, your eyes half lidded with lust that are basically begging him to use you.

Sukuna smiles at how innocent, yet already fucked out you look and decides to lean down toward your breasts, taking one of your nipples and fondiling it inside of his warm mouth. His tongue laps at you and your hands fly to his hair, pulling it out of pleasure. His two free hands now rest at your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, to which you happily obliged. His mouth moves from your nipple and starts to suck at the skin of your breasts. His mouth trails from your chest, down to your stomach and abdomen, leaving deep purple marks and bites that will most likely be staying for days, if not weeks. Your whimpers are like music to Sukuna's ears which only make him want to make you scream his name.

The hand that rested on the headboard is now grabbing your hands from his hair and forcing them down onto the mattress above you and the set of hands that were on your thighs are on your hips. Your eyes dont leave his, even as he rips your panties and throws them in the same direction he did your other clothes, making you bare yourself completely to him.

His hands part your thighs once more and pins them down, holding you in place.

"So cute, so tiny. 'could just ruin you hm?" he speaks as he lowers his head down to your heat, his breath fanning your dripping pussy. Your breathing is even more uneven than before as it's mixed with your hushed moans. Without taking his eyes off yours, he sticks out his tongue and licks a stripe up your cunt, causing your jaw to slack open in the perfect "oh" shape as your whine rings inside sukuna's skull. He licks up your cunt a couple more times before it initially lands on your clit, then he buries his head into your thighs and nips at you like a dog in heat.

His mouth sucks, bites and laps at your clit, and you try with all your strength to buck your hips up, but to no avail, the hands on your thighs pin you in place as your arms are basically unuseful. All you can do is throw your head back in pleasure as this creature devoures you. His grip on your throat tightens a little more and suddenly it's more difficult to breathe, but you dont even care.

Sukuna's saliva mixes in with your fluids that run down your thighs and asscheeks, wetting the bed under you. His long tongue fucks itself inside your pussy and against your walls as his teeth drag across your clit. Sukuna doesn't look away from you, not for a second. He wants to see every twist on your face and flex of your abs as he eats you out, he's desperately and intensively observing you, as if you were the most beautiful, treasurable piece of art he's ever layed eyes on. His tongue is rough as he creates a rhythm of fucking your insides, and sucking your bundle of nerves.

Your arms tug at the restraint of his hands holding your wrists. He's so much stronger than you, yet that fact alone turns you on so much more. Your moans and hushed screams fill the room as small beads of sweat gather on your hairline. Your body twitches under sukuna's control and your clit is throbbing for release as he toys with you.

You're so close to finishing and sukuna can tell so easily. Your moans grow into louder screams and your back arches off the bed. His grip on your throat tightens, cutting off all supply of air and your eyes are thrown open as you choke and cough, trying to get any oxygen possible.

Sukuna laughs into your pussy, which vibrates through your whole body. Your eyes look down into his, desperately trying to tell him to let you cum, or breathe. Whichever one he will let you do. Your silent plea only turns him on even more and your vision is starting to blacken and your head begins to feel light.

"Fuck, you're so adorable when you're beggin' for your life" He says as he sits up and hovers over you, refusing to let you finish. The hand on your throat disappears and you cough and gasp for air, but just as you suck in a deep breath, its knocked out of you by a harsh slap to your face and all you can do is gasp in pain at the sudden stinging on your cheek. He grips your face directly after with the hand he had previously slapped you with and forces you to look down at your pussy.

One of the hands on your thighs moves up to your cunt and plunges inside you. Two of Sukuna's fingers thrust inside your cunt at lightning speed and curl up into your center, hitting that spot you need him most. You choke out a scream and your hips grind into his palm.

"Look at the mess you're making y/n. Such a nasty little girl you are." He says as he looks at your pretty face contorting from the overstimulation he brings upon you.

Sukuna's fingers are relentless as they move fast inside of you. Not even a couple seconds later, you're cumming all over his hand and arm, squirting your fluids all over him as well as your bed sheets. You come undone with a scream.

"K-kuna oh my god!" You're being so loud, you could almost bet the neighbors across the street could hear. Neither of you cared though, all you cared about was how you were about to be torn in half.

Your eyes are watery again and you're still desperately trying to gather air in your lungs. Sukuna's hands let go of your wrists and face, but right after, you hear an article of clothing rip. You sit up slightly in wonder, but your mouth instantly hangs open at the sight of two handsomely large cocks sprung up, hitting just above Sukuna's belly button. Your mouth instantly dried at the sight.

Speaking of sights, Sukuna thought you were a beautiful one. Your hair was a shriveled mess and your face was the most gorgeous shade of red. You looked so fucked out, yet so ready to take anything he gives you like the obedient whore you are. You had a look of fear and interest plastered on your face. Sukuna was never one for love or anything of the sort, but the moment he layed his eyes on you those couple years ago, he knew he was fucked. You were just so different than most of the humans he had ever made contact with. You didn't care about the difference between "good and bad" and you always took what you wanted without second thought, even if it took you a while to grasp. You were always ready for whatever was thrown at you and were always in control of everything around you.

That's why he decided to stick around. Since the beginning, he's wanted to corrupt your world and fuck up your flow of control. He was arrogant and cocky. You just needed someone, or something, to step in and take control over you. And sukuna was never going to let anybody else besides him take control over his woman.

Though he would never admit it out loud, you were breathtaking. You're also the only reason he hasn't burned this world to the ground,,,, completely.

"Think you can take em'?" Sukuna's voice never fails to make a shiver run up your spine. You don't answer him, all you do is stare into his eyes, a silent plea to just have him use you however he pleases. He takes your lack of an answer and laughs quietly under his breath. He brings one of his hands to his face, and smiles into his palm.

"you're gonna be the death of me."

His body slowly stalks towards you, crawling onto the bed, trapping your body between his and the headboard. Your thighs rub together in desprate search of friction. You can't take it any longer, you need him inside you. You need every part of this being in any way you can have him.

"I don't care if you think you can take my cocks' or not, I'll force you to take em' how bout that, yeah?" His head tilts as he speaks and one of his hands grips your leg and pulls your body down farther onto the bed, causing you to lay down underneath his much larger body.

"You're so- so big kuna.." Your voice is uncontrolled and small. Unlike earlier where your screams and moans were ear piercing and just so delicious. Your eyes look up into his, your hands sneak up to wrap around one set of his arms, squeezing his biceps as you chew on the skin of the inside of your cheek.

Sukuna groans at your words. He really was huge, trapping your body underneath his. One of his hands grips the headboard, another comes down to grip the side of your face. His thumb traces your bottom lip, smearing your lipgloss.

Just as you open your mouth, his thumb presses down on your tongue as you suck in his finger. One of your hands makes its way down his body, gripping one of his huge cocks in your small hand. Despite the size difference, Sukuna still hisses in response. You pump his hard dick a couple times, looking directly into his eyes as you suck on his thumb. With painful force, sukuna grips your wrists and suddenly, both your hands above your head once more.

With one hand gripping the headboard, one holding your wrists in place, another moves from your mouth to grip one of his dicks while the final hand holds himself up, hovering right above you. You whine at the lack of control you have, grinding your hips upwards as a sign to let you go, but all sukuna does is laugh at your attempts of escape.

"Stop moving, slut." He pushes one of his dicks at your pussys entrance, but you don't listen to him, you grind your hips upwards once more and Sukuna doesn't seem to like that very much.

"Told you to stop movin' brat" and without warning, or any lube (as if you needed any) he pushes one of his cocks into your pussy with full force. It has you automatically screaming at the stretch. It's painful and you're pretty sure you're bleeding.

Sukuna bottoms out inside of you and stills, the outline of his dick prominant through your stomach, it drives him insane.

Sukuna uses his now free hand and pushes down on the outline of his cock through your tummy and chuckles.

"Fuck you're so small y/n, look at your tummy baby" You obey him and look down, seeing the outline of his huge dick bulging in your abdomen. A scared moan leaves your lips as you take in the sight. It literally looks like he could split you in half at any given moment. Sukuna pulls his dick out, a painful sensation radiates through your vagina as he does. The bulge in your tummy disappears and sukuna's face falters into one of disappointment.

"fuck, you're bleedin' y/n! " sukuna says to you, and just as you're about to look for yourself, he thrusts his dick back inside you, filling you back up again. He bottoms out inside you and a strangled moan that sounds more like a cough forces its way out of your throat.

"full- im so full, too full please-" Sukuna's face turns into one of disappointment again at your words as he says

"that's too bad, I wasn't even close to being finished with stuffin' you doll." He mocks you, and just as he finishes talking, you feel his second cock at the entrance of your ass, which causes you to shoot your head up.

"No, no please dont" you beg him, despite your words not being how you really feel, you beg him not to anyways. sukuna's face is still one that mocks you, pretending as if he feels bad for splitting you open. He pushes his tip into your ass so slowly it almost makes this situation better. The stretch is unbearable, especially with how tight you are with another cock spreading you open and filling you already.

Sukuna's entire tip is stuffed inside, waiting for you to adjust to his length.

"Look at you, taking me so well. Such a good little girl aren't you?" His voice is taunting you. Your arms feel weak from how much you've been struggling to break free, so all you can do I lay there and adjust to his cocks with hushed moans.

Sukuna starts moving his cock deeper inside you slowly, but not slow enough.

"Kuna please no, it's too much I can't take it" Your head shakes from side to side as painful tears fall from your eyes and down your cheeks. Sukuna pouts at this and leans down and uses his tongue to lick the tears away.

"you can take it, you're already doing such a good job for me." This reassurance helps you a little more, and with every inch growing deeper inside you, you find it hard to breathe, and sukuna notices.

He leans down and whispers deeply into your ear

"breathe my dear."

you listen to him and take deep breaths. In one particular deep breath, sukuna takes it upon himself to completely push the other half of his cock into you, getting it done in one swift motion just as you breathe out.

His actions cause you to scream in pain,,, and in pleasure. More tears fall from your eyes. Sukuna doesn't even give you time to adjust this go around, he just can't wait any longer.

"fuck, takin' my cocks' so well, you're so fuckin' tight, couldn't help myself" Sukuna says into your ear.

Your ass feels so tight as he thrusts in and out of both your stretched holes. the pain subsides into pleasure after a couple strokes and your painful hisses turn into sickening moans.

The sound of skin slapping echos off the walls of your dark room, the only light source being the moonlight shining through your window. Your pussy feels like it's going to burst every time sukuna's dicks thrust back inside you.

Sukuna's grip on your bed frame is so tight, the wood crumbles in his hand

"fuck" He curses under his breath

He needs to grip onto something, anything, so he decided to harshly grip the sheets that lay right next to your head. He looks from your face, down to your pussy where he sees his cocks move in and out of you, stretching you so beautifully.

When he looks back up at you, your teary, half lidded eyes lock onto his. You dont break eye contact, even as you moan out his name like a chant that dances off your tongue straight into his ears. And he loves it.

Your walls squeeze his dick's like you're trying to milk him dry. He's even surprised both of them fit inside you.... as if he didn't literally force them to fit.

"Please please let me touch you, just wan' touch please kuna' please" you moan out, begging him to let go of your arms. Much to his objection, he lets you go.

Your arms instantly wrap around his back, nails digging into his skin as you pull your bodies closer together. Your boobs press up against his broad chest as your sweat rubs into his skin.

Two of his arms hold his body up on his forearms above your head now, the other is pinning your stomach to the bed, the feeling of his dick entering and exiting your pussy being felt through your tummy.

his last free hand finds its way to the small of your back, his arm wrapping around your body and pressing you somehow closer against his. Your face is directly into his chest as you moan and scream out his name as his thrusts become wicked and fast, his hips snapping against yours. Your legs spread out for him to take advantage of you.

Sukuna looks down at you buried into his chest, his body hot and sweaty. Your nails scratching daggers into his back, you're pretty sure you can feel blood under your fingernails.

With each thrust inside you, your moans are choked and jagged and it's hard to breathe. The coil in your tummy is about to burst and you feel like you could explode from just how full you really were. Everything was too much, yet so perfect. Sukuna felt as if he was going to burst too, everything was so hot and wet, it was only driving him even more insane.

Your screams grew louder with each stroke of his cocks, signaling to sukuna that you were close.

"want me to come inside you? full you up and breed you like a dumb fuckin whore, turn you into a mommy?" He asks you, and all you can do is shake your head.

"you're gonna take my cum weather you want to or not, understand? Fill you up so nice nd' warm" He bares his teeth as you scream his name..

"no, no please dont I can't handle it, too full please k-una!" He doesn't like this answer, and it causes him to groan through his teeth. With a set of his arms, he grips your waist harshly, and with the other, he's stabilizing himself on the bed above you and sits up slightly.

"I dont care what you want, you're gonna take whatever I give you." he says before pulling his cocks out and flipping you onto your tummy. Your yelp of surprise is cut short as your hands grip at the sheets above you, trying to pull your body up and away from the monster.

"ah ah ah, dont run away from me, im nowhere close to being done with you." Sukuna stands up at the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor. He grabs your ankles and pulls you to the edge where he stands. He lets go of your ankles and roughly grips your hips, pulling you up and slightly into the air. He forces your knees down into the mattress, your ass up and your face in your sheets. His hands remain on your hips as another one of his hands finds a handful of your hair, gripping and pulling your head upwards and next to his chest, forcing you into a painful arch.

Sukuna bends over so his face is next to your ear. His long tongue licks your neck, and up to the lobe of your ear just before he bites it, your moan in exchange.

"now shut up and let me ruin you" is all he says before forcing your face down into your sheets, one of his hands pressing your head down into the mattress.

Sukuna thrusts his cocks into your holes once more, resulting in a muffled scream coming out of your mouth, but he doesn't move. his hips flush against your ass. Sukuna lifts one hand from your hips and lands a harsh smack on your ass, leaving your skin red. Your walls tighten around his cocks.

so he does it again

and again

and again

over and over and over until you're creaming all over his cock and squirting all over your bed once more with more muffled screams.

"pathetic. squirting all over my cock with just a few slaps to your ass. how disgusting could you possibly get?" He mocks you again, landing one more painful slap to your ass as your liquids drip down your thighs and onto the mattress below you. He grabs the flesh of your ass with both of his hands and slowly pulls his dicks out of you, the empty felling in your tummy has you begging for him to fill you back up.

sukuna's face twists into one of interest as he hears your whines of protest.

"oh? what a little slut I have on my hands. and here I thought you truly didn't want me to tear you apart" he says as he thrusts his cocks deep back inside you, hitting your sweet spot that has you squealing ever so loudly. Your hands above your head painfully grip the sheets, your nails digging into your palms drawing blood. His thrusts are endless and with each one, he grows deeper inside of you. He uses one of his hands and rakes his nails down your back, scratching at your skin. It was a painfully blissful feeling that had your walls squeezing his cocks so tight, it causes sukuna to curse under his breath.

With a chuckle, he says

"you're so fukin' tight, im gonna fill you up so full, so swollen with my baby, you'll forever be marked as mine, you'd like that huh?" of course sukuna was lying, he would never ever want to reproduce, but the way you're milking his cocks is making him reconsider his entire opinion on that subject.

His thrusts grow faster and stronger, your pussy and ass flutter around his dicks so prettily, he can see it whenever he looks at your holes. You moan his name over and over again, like it's the only thing you know how to say.

The knot in your abdomen kept getting tighter and tighter every time he hit your sweet spot, you were so close to finishing and all you could do is yearn for sukuna to carry you to the finish line. So that's exactly what he did.

The hand holding your head down into the mattress disappeared, so you turned your head to the side, resting your cheek against the mattress, your eyes find his and oh fuck

oh good god

sukuna lost it

he threw his head back with a loud moan and tightened his grip on your hips so intensely he felt your skin break from under him, his nails digging into your flesh as blood ran down your legs, pooling on the sheets, staining his fingertips.

You had a puddle of drool where your face lays. your lips were bleeding from biting down on them so roughly, and your eyes. oh fuck your eyes were so perfect. it was as if sukuna could read a whole book just by looking into your eyes.

Just as he was about to finish, you came all over him once more, wetting the bed, soaking it really. Your walls fluttered all around him like the butterflies in your stomach. as you came, sukuna shot warm ropes of cum straight into your ass and tummy, so full it was leaking out of both your holes. but it wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough for sukuna.

In the middle of both your orgasms, he resumed his thrusts, but your body gave out and you collapsed on the mattress, your stomach hitting the wet bedding.

your body couldn't move, you became putty in his hands and you had no complaints.

sukuna cursed as he crawled over you, his dicks never leaving your walls. one of his arms snaked its way under your arm to grip your throat, another one held your tummy, another spread your legs enough for him to continue fucking you, and the last one held him up.

His hips met your asscheeks in a monsteristic rhythm, a burning sensation beginning to form on your flesh. your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your jaw layed slack open, drool running down your chin.

he was fucking his cum into you, making your soul intertwine with his in more ways than one. He fucked you through your next and final orgasm, your legs shook involuntarily as your guys' mixed cum got everywhere. it dripped down sukuna's cock, onto the mattress, between your thighs, onto his abdomen, all over your asscheeks, it was everywhere.

Your eyes closed, even as his thrusts continued, your mind faded away from your body and before you fully lost consciousness, you could hear sukuna's words ring through your ears.

"Ill see you soon, y/n."

[withluvkay]

I turn 23 this year - here's some things I wish I could go back in time and tell my 15-16 year old self. 🤍

Whatever you do, please don't neglect yourself. Do not skip washing your face and brushing your teeth some mornings. I know there was some days where you'd rather stay in bed and not face the world, I get it. But you matter so much more than you think. You deserve to exist and experience all the joys this world has to offer. You deserve to feel energized and loved. So please take just a small moment to care for your body. It'll be your home for however long you're on this earth. It deserves to be cared for.

Make physical activity a habit. Even if it's just as simple as walking up and down your street, taking 10 minutes to do a few jumping jacks or light yoga, just make it a habit to move. You will feel so accomplished, energized and confident.

Girl, get that license! Just get it out the way, pleaseee. Not only will being able to drive open so many doors for you, but you won't have to stress about it in your twenties. You will feel so much more independent and just overall proud of yourself.

Add, don't subtract. Instead of trying to make drastic, super unrealistic changes to your diet and trying to cut everything off in one day, try adding more fruits and veggies to every plate. Or choosing the lower cal option of something you were really craving and use smaller plates/bowls. It's all about balance. But also, if you did have a "bad food day," don't beat yourself up like it was the end of the world. You can always try again.

And lastly, log tf out and turn that phone off. Social media was fun growing up, but it also became an unhealthy cycle of comparison. I'd pick myself apart over every little thing I saw on my feed, and it would wreck my mental health. I still struggle til this day, but I wish I could tell my younger self: those people weren’t perfect—so why was I making my whole identity chasing perfection? Your worth isn’t tied to your body, health, money, or where you live. Be your own best friend. I'd tell her to compare yourself only to who you were yesterday. To choose compassion over self-criticism.

I wanted to share this here for not only myself, but also for those who might be facing these same situations/feelings. You aren't alone! You aren't behind in life, you aren't failing. No one's journey is the same so don't tear yourself down. All your dreams and goals will be achieved in due time. There are so many more exciting days to experience. You got this. 👑

[toothtalk]

a neurodivergent spoonie's guide to having teeth

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only. This does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. Information on this blog should NOT be used for diagnostics or treating a health problem. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified dental health provider regarding diagnosis and treatment of a dental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.

this is as close to a comprehensive guide to dental care as i can make. i'm autistic/adhd/ocd/chronically ill and i've worked in dentistry for several years. i want to use my knowledge to help other spoonies struggling with dental care. i know it can be really hard, but dental health is so important and we deserve healthy mouths just as much as NT/abled folks!!

being neurodivergent and/or chronically ill can make personal care tasks incredibly difficult. so many of us struggle with washing our hair, getting dressed, and cleaning up. but remember: hair will grow back if it's damaged, clothes can be washed when they smell bad, and a dirty house can be made clean again, but we only have one set of teeth to last our whole lives. those pearly whites are worth taking care of!

these tips are based on feedback/questions i've gotten from ND folks on tumblr and facebook, patients at the practices i've worked in, and my own experience. standard disclaimer that this information will not be applicable to every single person, just take what works for you and pass the rest on to the next person. i am also a resource for further information. this is going to be pretty rapidfire, so if you want me to elaborate on anything or have a question about something i didn't address in this post, my askbox is open and anon is enabled. i love talking about teeth and i would love to help my fellow spoonies take care of theirs!

without further ado:

on homecare:

any dental professional will tell you that having good oral health starts at home. taking care of our teeth can be incredibly difficult when our spoons are low, so i've made a list of strategies to make it easier.

best practice is to brush twice per day and floss once per day. this may not be realistic for those of us who struggle with habits and/or executive dysfunction. if you can only remember to brush once per day, brushing at night is the most important.

the ideal order of operations is floss, tongue scrape, mouthwash, then brush. but flossing and brushing are the most important steps in the routine.

brushing your teeth in the shower is perfectly acceptable! personally, i keep one toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink to maximize my opportunities to brush.

if you don't have the energy to floss, a toothbrush with fine bristles like this one is a good compromise.

you should replace your toothbrush or electric brush head every three months. the bristles get worn down and become less effective over time. set a recurring event on your phone calendar to keep track!

if you find it difficult to brush your teeth at all, use a washcloth to gently scrub your teeth until you feel that you've gotten the film off, then use a fluoride mouthwash. they also make single-use waterless toothbrushes like these. i like to keep them on my nightstand for really bad days when i can't even get myself to the bathroom to brush.

this is an excellent guide on proper brushing technique.

an electric toothbrush is an excellent investment. even a cheap one at the grocery store is a huge step above a manual toothbrush. personally, i love quip because they're more affordable than brands like sonicare, and they send you replacement brush heads on a regular basis.

be careful not to brush too aggressively; your brush should glide gently over the surface of your teeth. if you feel a lot of friction, lighten your pressure. brushing too hard can wear away your enamel and damage your gums.

if the mint flavor in toothpaste triggers sensory discomfort, try kids' toothpaste! it has less fluoride than adult toothpaste, but it's still miles better than not brushing at all.

mouthwash is used to neutralize bacteria on soft tissues. use an antibacterial or fluoride mouthwash for healthy gums and strong enamel. listerine original is the best, but they have lots of varieties including gum health, alcohol-free, and many more.

whenever possible, use a straw to drink soda or coffee so it doesn't touch your teeth, and rinse with water after you drink it. try to not sip sugary drinks throughout the day. switching to sugar-free beverages will make a huge difference in cavity prevention.

if you have any gaps between teeth, an interdental brush will help you keep the areas between those teeth clean and prevent decay.

i like to keep a package of floss picks in the living room so that i can floss while i watch tv. the best time to floss is right before you brush your teeth, but there is no bad time to floss.

this video shows proper flossing technique. this video shows proper technique when using floss picks.

dry mouth is a lesser-known cause of cavities. saliva protects your teeth from decay, so when you don't produce enough of it, you're at higher risk. dry mouth rinses like this one are a great defense against this!

remember, something is always better than nothing. brushing once a day is better than not brushing at all. flossing once a week is better than not flossing at all. be gentle with yourself.

on finding a dental provider:

finding a new provider and making an appointment can be confusing and overwhelming when we have low executive function. there are some ways to make it just a bit easier.

if you have insurance, they likely have a tool on their website to find providers in your network. you can usually find this information on your insurance card. this should narrow down your options considerably.

the absolute best thing you can do is find a supportive provider who you can open up to about your struggles with dental care. look up your options on google reviews and ctrl+f "anxiety". if these anxious patients have a good experience, it's more likely you will too.

you can ask for recommendations in your local community's facebook group or subreddit, both of which offer anonymity. specify your needs in your post. chances are, other people in your community have similar needs, and can help you find the right people to meet those needs.

a few people expressed that they avoid the dentist because of a family history of poor dental health, and the fear of having the same problems. i want to assure you that, while dental health does have a genetic component, it is far from the only factor. the most effective thing you can do to prevent dental issues is to go in for regular maintenance. prevention is the gold standard in dentistry.

a lot of us struggle with making phone calls. luckily, it's becoming increasingly common for practices to allow online booking and communication via email. look for these options on a practice's website!

if fear or executive dysfunction is getting in your way, phone a friend for help. sometimes things that are hard for us aren't as difficult for others. maybe your roommate can call the office for you. maybe your sister can drive you to your appointment. don't be afraid to lean on your village.

in the dental office:

a big issue with dental offices is that they are basically a sensory nightmare. while it's never going to be fully comfortable, there are some things you can do to make your experience more tolerable.

be open and honest with your dental providers. if you smoke, tell them (this includes cannabis; they cannot report you for cannabis use even if you're not in a legal state). if you've never flossed before, tell them. their job is to help you, not shame you. if a provider makes you feel ashamed, stop seeing them.

so many people have mentioned they're embarrassed about their anxiety and sensory struggles in the dental office. let me assure you that your providers see so many anxious patients every single day. they're used to it, and they're not going to be judging you. to help illustrate this, i'm going to cite some examples of patients from my practice and the ways we help them manage their anxiety and sensory struggles.

probably the most common concern among patients in our practice is a fear of the numbing injection. i have a pretty severe phobia of needles myself. our dental assistants are well-trained to manage this fear. they distract patients during the shot, and help them breathe through the anxiety before and after. this training is part of the dental assistant certification process, so it should be relatively universal.

you can bring a comfort item with you. be it a stuffed animal, a video game, a book, even a comforting person who can sit with you.

you know that lead vest that they lay on you when they take xrays? you can ask to wear that during your whole visit. it acts like a weighted blanket and it feels so nice and comforting. we have a few patients who do this at my practice.

headphones or earplugs are a lifesaver to drown out all the horrible sounds. i literally refuse to get a cleaning without them. there's even a hygienist at my practice that wears earplugs while she's working because the sound of the cavitron bothers her. there's no shame in it whatsoever.

if your practice offers it, nitrous oxide is a great option for anxiety. most people know it as laughing gas. it puts you in a dreamlike state so you're more or less unaware of what's going on. no joke, this stuff had me so relaxed i fully fell asleep while getting a root canal. you can even get it when you get your cleanings!

a lot of our patients request a specific doctor, dental assistant, and hygienist for their appointments. this is incredibly common. if you find someone that makes you feel safe, let the scheduling staff know that you'd like to see that person each time you come in.

dress comfy. there's no dress code for the dental office; show up in sweatpants if you want.

remember at the end of the day, your dental providers are not there to judge you if you don't have perfect homecare. their ultimate goal is to get your mouth healthy no matter your starting place. i can't speak for every dentist obviously, but the dentists at my practice are incredibly patient and sympathetic and have nothing but their patients' best interests in mind.

again: if you feel disrespected or shamed by your provider, find a new one who will be compassionate with you. you don't owe any provider loyalty, even if you've been going there since you were a toddler.

on recovery:

one of the hardest things to do is build healthy habits when you're starting from an unhealthy place. if you're dealing with poor dental health, getting your mouth healthy again can seem impossibly daunting. i'm here to tell you it is possible, but it takes work.

it starts in the dental chair. your provider should communicate what treatment is the highest priority, and they will start there. rather than overwhelming yourself with the big picture, focus your attention on the next step.

things like root canals, crowns, and periodontal treatment can be very expensive. unfortunately, in the united states at least, dental insurance is quite lacking across the board. if expenses are a concern, dental schools are a great option for having treatment done at a low cost. keep in mind that treatment will often take significantly longer due to the dentists being supervised students.

my job in the practice is treatment coordinator. this means that i work one-on-one with my patients to help them understand their treatment plans and make the process as easy and comfortable as possible for them. ask your practice if they have a treatment coordinator. if they don't, suggest that they create the role, and reach out to me here. my dream is to be able to help people manage their oral health. i will be a resource to anyone that doesn't have a treatment coordinator available to help you navigate your course of treatment.

any restorative work (fillings, crowns, etc.) that you have done has to be cared for, just like virgin teeth. cavities can still form underneath fillings and crowns. make sure you are keeping your regular hygiene appointments, and use the above strategies to effectively care for your restorations at home.

if you have a lot of treatment to work through, it may take a long time. we have patients that have spent 2-3 years working through their treatment plans with us. this can feel daunting and depressing. but remember, it's not forever. the majority of these patients who continue to see us for regular visits only have 1-2 new cavities at a time, if anything, once we finish their initial work.

there are very few dental problems that cannot be fixed. cavities can be filled, crowns placed, root canals done to save teeth that are severely decayed. gum disease cannot be cured, but it can be very effectively managed. i see patients all the time that come in expecting to lose all their teeth and need dentures, only to be relieved when we tell them only a few teeth are truly not restorable.

my job revolves around patient education, and it's always shocking to me how little we are taught about caring for our teeth. please be kind to yourselves; it is NOT your fault for not knowing or having the resources to take care of them yourself. once again, my askbox is open and anon is enabled if you have more questions after reading this guide.