#and im like BRUH WHAT DO YOU WANT
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i was having a conversation with someone and brought up i like dc comics so they asked me who my favourite character was and when i said nightwing they responded with
"he's too good for me tbh, he's a great character but a boy scout, why i like batman because he certainly isn't"
and i didn't know how to respond...
#bruh coming back to this after an hour i sound so mad im not i just found it so baffling and blue screened at it#he is a little bit but not really imo#like who do you think gave dick his moral compass (besides his parents)#this kid was gonna kill zucco before bruce was like âno murderâ#he also has killed#regardless of the intention#rip joker#he is no more boy scout than bruce#like in gotham war bruce was nuh uh no crime#and dick was siding with selina#like maybe a little crime if people don't die#besides boy scout is literally superman idk what you want from me#maybe it's movie batman they like which as we all know is not really batman#and it wasn't battinson#but then they mentioned damian so#idk#dcamu?#or just a hot take#dick grayson#nightwing#batman#dc#dc comics#comics
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wait realistically how successful do yall think the sb-derap-pangi plan will work
#lifesteal spoilers#mine.txt#like. i havent really had any opinions on it#mostly cause i think its kinda stupid lol#like theyre trying to both 1. get the mace from clown and 2. not make even a single player realize the mace is gone#like sb and pangi couldnt even commit to destroying all the trial chambers which while tedious is objectively the easiest part of the plan#how the hell are they gonna commit to all the other shit lmao???#like respect to derap for wanting to go all the way#but if the rest of the team couldnt even commit to that how are they gonna commit to the rest of it#you cant execute a plan like this without putting your whole cock and pussy in it bruh đ#trying to not make the other players realize the mace is gone by crashing the server is particularly ????#like how the hell are they gonna time that#i mean. i Guess they technically dont need to be precise but like they gotta#1. let the server know they have the mace 2. avoid dying before they crash the server and 3. not make anyone realize the mace is gone#although that 3rd point can easily be ruined by someone looking at the crafting recipe#although ig at that point it wouldnt matter assuming derap doesnt give up halfway through destroying the chambers either#wait so whats the point of crashing the server then cant they just throw it in the void??#and if they really dont want ppl to know they can just do it while nobody else is online#like theres a perfectly functional void hole at spawn and the hours theyre on lends itself well to having an empty server#i need to stop thinking about this plan bruh im gonna get a headache
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Leafs vs Rangers | 4.13.23
#toronto maple leafs#mitch marner#egifs#hockeyedit#did anyone order the sad mitch marner???? anyone?/#not to overproject here but just. fuckin g IMAGINE coming that close......#and then... ur team wins. and hits 50 wins for the second time. and yay rah rah its a group win and ur going out on a high#but u personally fall short again#after years before.. being on pace for even MORE points.. and here u have a season where u stayed completely healthy... played 80 fucking#games and only missed 2 for load management and you cant even pull it off when u need to most#on the verge of even more greatness.. when its felt like YOUR YEAR..... .. so close to being just the fucking 4th maple leaf in history....#bruh thats so fucking sad. im so sad for him.... mitch is someone who says what he needs to say in the media but#admitting that its something he wants. clearly.... a personal goal and not being able to do it.... having to turn around and be happy for a#anyway. im just gonna go write essays to myself abt mitch marner and falling short (or at least FEELING that way)#(when its personal goals u set urself and ur trying to join greats but its never good enjougjkd.. u can never break THROUGH)#this years ur year mitch. its comng for u in the playoffs#anyway. sorry
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt đ#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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irl friend asked me what was a ship i would want to see happen even if only for funny points, so i present to you: the many hilarious possibilities of joker rarepairs
yes, i am gonna defend myself under the cut
joker x hayami: never have i ever seen "finally a WORTHY OPPONENT" rival energy stronger than whatever the fuck these two have okay. im absolutely fucking distraught that hayami shows up for only one episode in the anime. they both get outsmarted by the other and its the sexiest thing in their lives. they probably spend 2 hours going back and forth with absolutely incomprehensible banter that requires 5 phds worth of context to barely grasp and then they turn away while internally thinking "i NEED this man carnally". they would play 4d chess with their relationship. they are everything.
joker x hyakkimaru: as my friend puts it, "hyakkimaru gets hachi on the weekends," which made me laugh so hard i almost spilled my chemistry practical. on one hand, imagine a dangerous outsider whisks away the little kid youve been protecting all your childhood and finding out he's now happier and braver than you ever saw him your whole life. i would start crying there and then not gonna lie. but on the other hand, imagine being hachi and the two people you look up to the most in your life are being So Fucking Weird about each other. the comedy potential. they met in literally only two occasions in the anime and act like divorced parents. sometimes family can be you, your actual parents and 9 siblings, and your two other older brother figures who are very not-so-subtly fighting over you but also in the weirdest most divorced way possible.
joker x haruka: okay i could go on with haha cop and criminal dynamics but thats not my goal. please. please please please. just imagine oniyama's face if this happened. i rest my case.
#i dont actually have any idea on how to tag this#kaitou joker#i dont even know their full names bruh#hayami kyotaro#hyakkimaru koga#haruka oniyama#who wants to bet none of them have a tumblr tag yet#whoop#my art#about a year ago i saw a post saying joker hyakkimaru and hachis relationship is kinda analogous to marriage#and its so fucking funny cause i know exactly what theyre talking about#like. village girl gets wed off to some far off land to some mysterious guy and theres nothing her family can do about it etc etc#no im not a johachi shipper but the analogy is there okay you get what i mean
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IâŠ. i made a connection. And Iâm trying not to cry rn. Like genuinelyâŠ
ADAM LOOKS LIKE DREAMđđđ
IM CRYING PLS DONT LET ME BE THE ONLY ONE
YALL SEE IT RIGHT?!? IM NOT CRAZ.
#If you want to show support i would appreciate it#I really need a shoulder to cry on right now because of this#hazbin hotel adam#adam#hazbin#hazbin hotel#dream#never thought iâd see both of those tags in one post but here we are#DID I FOOL YOU AT THE BEGINNING??#I AM SAD THOUGH LIKE THIS RUINED ME#IM GOING INTO MY VILLAIN ARC#If only#guys what does love feel like#Random questionđš#SKIBIDI RIZZ I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ALPHA IF I HAD A GYATT I WOULD HAVE NEVER FANUM TAXXED#What do you mean âdid you make a gen alpha ver. of karmaâ#OF COURSE I DIDđ#uh#BRUH WHY DO I ALWAYS FREAKING ACCIDENTALLY CHANGE THE TOPIC#THIS IS WORSE THAN MY SLEEPY POST#I AM SO SORRY ITS HARD TO FOCUS ON JUST ONE THINGđđ#Wait#If we breathe air and drink water#Do fishes breathe water drink air?#Do they drink water?#What do fish drink?
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i was feeling very eepy and not up to completing tasks so i took some adderall and let myself lay down for a nap with the thought being that the adderall would kick in and prevent me from sleeping for too long and then id be all ready to do shit when i woke up and folks. ima be honest the hypothesis did not quite play out
#me groggily emerging two hours later#i feel like the nap ate the adderall lmao#the intention was just to kind of lay down for like twenty to thirty minutes oops#txt posts#personal#oops#i hate having a body it is so senseless#the other night i slept for like. four hours before waking up super early for no gd reason#and i was like âits fine ill nap later its not like i have anywhere to beâ#did not nap but also? energy was overall fine all day felt no urge to nap#last night slept a full eight hours and today im like#omg so eepy#need nap... sleepy...#and im like BRUH WHAT DO YOU WANT
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#âbest way to learn is to observe the men around youâ OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#âmen dont smile at people.â well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#âdont move with your handsâ YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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things arenât going well with peach. while i think my dadâs very right to be concerned that she hasnât eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasnât slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isnât exactly restful, so itâs closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and weâve got injections for her painkillers now because sheâs not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesnât drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesnât sleep soon iâm extremely worried. dad was like âif she doesnât eat by tomorrow afternoon weâll take her back because the injections will run outâ but like. if she doesnât sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesnât seem to be too bad now that sheâs got pain relief so idk whatâs stopping her from sleeping#she wonât even lie down unless iâm sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#thatâll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it wonât be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine youâve been awake for 2 days after surgery and youâre in a lot of pain and havenât eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea whatâs wrong with you or why everyoneâs doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. thereâs no way she has any idea whatâs going on rn but sheâs clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think sheâll be ok in the long-term but sheâs gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping donât have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesnât help that thereâs so much other shit going on rn#iâm doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer thatâs taking a lot of work#but also my sisterâs going on a long overseas trip that sheâs leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 daysâ#has the dogs really wound up. so georgieâs been howling at absolutely everything#and itâs rainy so my clothes arenât trying and theyâre hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door canât close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so theyâre waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so thatâs ALL THE TIME. iâve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasnât very receptive#like âim about to go away for 3 monthsâ sorry i know its a big thing but i canât just reschedule peachâs medical emergency
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great whats going on with the dandys world
#someone i fiollow on toyhouse made a ppost like#'ummm if you Play or Support dandys world and make excuses to make it seem like youre fine#for playing it(??????what does that eveb mean) then im softblocking you'#and like. thats cool do whatever you want but did like some drama#ha[[en with the creators#all i know is it has cute character desisngns why is it always roblox games that get into drama bruh#edit: ok allegedly one of the creators is a groomer or something. yikes!
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YWDaC: Turns Out, Forever Is a Long Time
Ayo we have FINALLY arrived at the end of Castys's lil pirate misadventure I hope you have enjoyed all of the delicious lore
âPrevious - Castys Masterlist
Ingredients: storm at sea activity, mentioned stabbing, suicide for "convenience" (it's not quite the usual level of he doesn't care but it's still not like bro wants to die yk), a little self harm (once again, out of practicality)
What Castys really wanted was to have something for breakfast, but responsibilities came first, so here he was, delivering a message that he could have ordered anyone else to relay, just so he could go back belowdecks and hopefully grab something on the way back, which made him wonder if he should have been given responsibilities in the first place, but oh well, he didnât put himself in charge. Now, to get this done so he could eat. Castys knocked on the door in front of him, and upon hearing a noise that sounded like a word, he entered. Captain Izogie was sitting with her shirt partially off and her back to him, exposing the bold patterns of white fire ink curling around her dark shoulders. Alfyn was standing behind her with his hands on her bare back, clearly concentrating. It was a sight heâd seen before, but he always felt a little awkward stumbling upon it.Â
âUh, sorry, didnât realize it was woman magic day.â
Izogie laughed a little as she turned her head to look at him. âIs that what you lot call it?â
âLess of a mouthful than whatever Alfyn says.â
Alfyn just sighed. âEstrogen production stimulation?â
Castys nodded. âDoesnât exactly roll off the tongue. Anyway, Captain, just thought Iâd let you know the sunrise is red this morning, and given the clouds now, weâre all pretty sure itâs gonna storm. And yes,â Castys held up a hand, âpreparations are already underway. Just wanted you to be aware.â
Alfyn, finished with Izogieâs treatment, stepped back. âIn that case, I have a few things to secure in the med bay. If youâll excuse me, Captain.â
Izogie nodded as she buttoned her shirt. âThank you, Alfyn, youâre excused.â He gave Castys a smile as he left. âThank you as well, Castys.â She gave him a thoughtful look as she pulled her coat on and stood up. âYou know, when you first arrived, I wasnât sure if you were going to last here, but here you are, my first mate, of all things. Youâve grown quite a bit.â
Castys rolled his eyes and smiled, leaning against the doorframe. âWell, yeah, a scared tied up kid rarely looks like heâs gonna amount to anything. And it took you a few years to get that mouth off of me,â he laughed.
âYou say that like itâs gone completely,â Izogie said with a glint in her eye, coming up to stand in front of Castys. Despite more than a decade passing, she still towered over Castys, the passage of time only showing in the lines on her face and the gray streaking her hair. He hadnât grown any taller, but heâd at least gained some muscle and quite a few scars, which was well within the realm of expectation for being a pirate. âWell then, letâs go help out, Castys. This isnât our first storm, and we need to make sure it wonât be our last.â
âIâd prefer to go down to a sea monster, at least. And I canât imagine anything short of a hurricane taking you, Captain.â
âIâd like to see one try.âÂ
The storm that night certainly did.
The rain came down in sheets, driven to needlepoints by the harsh winds. It was more difficult than ever to hear the shouts of the crew as reports and orders were passed around, and Castysâs throat was raw from relaying directions to the men at the helm. He was glad for the storm sails, because even though they hadnât had time to put all of them up, they were still making good progress through the crashing waves. At least, he hoped so.Â
The shipâs bow pierced through another wall of water, and it was all Castys could do to stay on his feet, holding tight to the rope tied around his waist. Shit, one of the men at the helm had collapsed, and there was no one else to take his place. Castys ran up, grabbing the wheel alongside the others as he continued to keep an eye on the angle of the bow and the oncoming waves. It was fine, he could keep this up even as his arms burned from the strain, the hairs that had escaped from his ponytail blowing in his eyes and sticking to his face, making it even harder to see, the ever-louder thunder overhead drowning out the sound of his own voice. Didnât matter if things were only getting worse, they had to keep-
CRACK
Everything was too loud, or maybe too quiet, roaring and buzzing, he was pressed up against the soaking wood of the deck and there was a ball of dense, sharp agony buried in his chest, making it hard to breathe, he kept coughing, couldnât stand, couldnât see, the blackness was coming, fading in and out, and all of a sudden he was belowdecks, blood and rain puddling around him, hands on his chest, pulling up his shirt, the words muffled, his chin moved up, Alfynâs eyes were gray and full of fear, he hadnât seen that expression before, or maybe he had, and maybe he was going to die, here, because of the storm, because he couldnât breathe, time was up, that was it, those thirty-four years were over and done he wasnât getting that time back no more tries he was satisfied with that right he had to be he couldnât have any regrets because he wasnât supposed to but it would have been nice ifâŠifâŠ
Castys woke up to a vast expanse of yellowish-white, which was not the color he expected the afterlife to be. Upon further inspection, though, it turned out that it was just a sheet over his head. After tossing it off and sitting up, he was greeted by a shrill scream that should have come from a young girl but actually came from Alfyn.Â
âChill, dude, you shouldnât have put that over me if youâd healed me.â Castys narrowed his eyes a bit as he talked. Did his voice always sound like that? Maybe whatever injuries heâd had had damaged his hearing or something. He wasnât in any pain now, though, so that was good.
âC-Castys you-youâre-how are you-â Alfyn ran over, nearly tackling Castys as he pulled up his tattered shirt to reveal a rather bloodstained but otherwise perfectly fine torso. Castys gave him a weird look, leaning away.
âUh, youâre the one who fixed whatever it was, werenât you?â He brushed his wet hair off of his face as he stared down at himself. Why the fuck did he grow his hair out, again? It was annoying as hell like this.Â
Alfyn shook his head in disbelief. âI didnât heal you, Castys. You-you wereâŠboth of your lungs had collapsed and I-I couldnât fix it but-â He looked Castys in the eye, frowning. âYouâŠyou look different. Younger.â He ran a hand over Castysâs ribs, and Castys was very glad that he was more than used to the medic touching his bare skin. âThereâs no scar from what just-âÂ
âHey, what are you-â Castys yelped as Alfyn forced him to lean forward, pulling up his shirt even more to expose his back.
âYou still had scars from your first day, didnât you? When you were flogged?â
âUh, I think so? I donât really make it a hobby to look at my back, so youâd probably know better than me.âÂ
Alfyn sighed, letting go of Castys and standing up. âWell, if they were there before, theyâre gone now. YouâŠâ He looked around at the patients lying on the cots on the other side of the room. âDo you feel alright, Castys?â
âI think so? Iâm not in any pain or anything, butâŠI dunno, does my voice sound weird to you?â There were a few other things that were bothering him, but he couldnât really get a solid hold on what they were. He just felt different, his thoughts more scattered, his arms less muscular than he remembered, the persistent ache in his left knee from a battle wound a few years ago completely gone now.
Alfyn nodded slowly. âNow that you mention it, it does seem a littleâŠoff.â He frowned again. âLook, I donât know whatâs going on with you, Castys, but I have more urgent patients to attend to, and Iâm going to ask you to stay put until we can get this sorted out.â
âBut the s-â
âFine then, Iâm not asking, Iâm ordering. Doctorâs orders supersede everything else, you know that. And the storm has almost passed. So stay. Put.â
Castys grumbled and crossed his arms, but he didnât move to get up. He knew all too well that Alfyn wasnât above restraining disobedient patients, and heâd rather avoid that today. Bored, he peeked at his chest again. It was very bloody, but there were no injuries anywhere, and poking his ribs didnât hurt like a bitch, so they werenât broken or anything. What was weird though was that he still had some scars, just not all of them. The twisted one on his tummy and the clean line over his heart were still there. He slapped a hand on his right cheek and tried very hard to smile, finding that, yup, he still couldnât really do it on that side, so the remnant of the gash on his face was still there. But the one on his knee, on his arm, and apparently the ones on his backâŠgone. It didnât make sense. UnlessâŠ
He put a hand over his heart. Every scar he still had now, heâd gotten beforeâŠbefore that day. The day he still didnât want to believe had happened. Just as he was about to dig up that lovely little box of buried memories, Captain Izogie rushed in, worry etched in her face.Â
âAlfyn, is it true Castys is-â she laid eyes on Castys and the tension visibly drained from her body. âOh thank Mydnar.â She walked over and crouched down in front of where he was seated on the floor, eyeing him suspiciously. âWhatâŠwhat did Alfyn do to you? You look like a kid again.â
âNot my fault!â Alfyn called from where he was working on someoneâs fucked-up arm.
âUh, yeah, I, um,â Castys laughed nervously. âItâs my fault. I think. But Iâm okay! All the breathing is happening fine.â
Izogie shook her head. âYouâre not making any sense. Laias said a broken piece of the mizzen top yard poked a hole through your chest.â
âIt did,â Alfyn said, wiping his hands as he walked over. âBoth of his lungs were punctured. I worked as quickly as I could after I pulled it out, butâŠâ he swallowed. âYour pulse was gone, Castys.â
âBut IâŠIâm fine. IâmâŠâ He swallowed. Everything was so cold all of a sudden, that was the only reason heâd be shaking like this, right? Had to be. Unsure if he even wanted to know the answer to this question, Castys lifted his shirt, poking at the scar on his stomach. âAlfynâŠwhat if a person wasâŠwas stabbed right here. And the knife was dragged and twisted a bit before being pulled out. And then it went,â his finger was over his heart now, âright here. Would that personâŠwould they die?â
Alfyn looked at Castys in slight horror before slowly nodding. âWithout medical attention, in a matter of minutes. Possibly less depending on how much the stomach wound had bled and how much damage had been done.â
Every worry line in Izogieâs face stood out more than ever before. âCastys, you-what are you saying? Are those scars-â
âI think so.â Castys dropped his shirt. âAt least, from what I can remember. So maybe IâŠI already died. Before this. All this time I just thought I might be remembering things wrong, but if what Alfyn said about earlier is true, thenâŠand it might explain why IâmâŠdifferent.â
âSo you think youâre some kind ofâŠâ the furrow in Alfynâs brow deepened, âimmortal?â
Immortal. The thought was sort of exciting, as ridiculous as it seemed, but it was also sort of terrifying. Why the fuck was he one, anyway, if it was true? He was just Castys, a random pirate with incurable amnesia about his childhood and hadnât done anything special besides the wholeâŠmaybe this was some kind of fucked-up reward for finishing his mission? But then where had-fuck, okay, no more of that, his brain hurt too much. Why think about things when he could get some results?
âHey, Captain, could you stab me or something? I wanna see what happens.â
Izogie, who was still clearly trying to process whatever the hell was going on, gave him a very concerned look. âNo, Castys, what-even if you think youâll-youâll come back what if-â
âWell, I should have died twice now. So I feel like Iâve already gotten a second chance if I was going to be dead anyway.â He glanced over at Alfyn. âCould you-â
âIâm a fucking doctor, Castys. My hands arenât-I canât. No.â The other pirates cursed pretty much every other word, but coming from Alfyn, that word might as well have been a cannon blast. Seeing that neither of his friends were willing to stab him for science, Castys dropped the idea and let them examine him for a bit before finally getting cleared to go back to his quarters. The crew gave him odd looks as he passed by, just hammering it in even more that he was different somehow. Either that or theyâd heard he fucking died and was now walking around perfectly healthy, which was also probably cause for concern.
Once he was alone, he pulled out his sword and looked at his reflection in the blade. From what he could tell in this shitty makeshift mirror, his face did look a lot more youthful than he remembered. The scruff on his chin and his longer hair did make him look a bit older than the age he supposed his body was now, but the beard was itchy and long hair was a pain in the ass. Part of him wanted to hack his ponytail off right now with his knife, but heâd rather not look like a total mess on top of everything else, so he could wait to ask for a haircut tomorrow. He could shave, however, and he felt a lot better once it was done.Â
Turning the razor over in his hands, Castys wondered if he really would come back to life again if he slit his throat or whatever. Well, only one way to find out. His clothes were already super bloody, anyway, so that wouldnât be a problem. Here goes nothing, then.
Why were his hands shaking so much? It was just dying, heâd apparently done it before, it was fine, heâd come back, he wasnât leaving anyone behind, just a quick swipe of the blade and thenâŠthenâŠheâd come back, right? Right. A-and if he didnât, heâd already cheated death before, so it was only fair for things to end now. Deep breath maybe his last-
The blade moved a little more slowly than he would have liked, a flash of pain before-
Castys opened his eyes. He was still in his cabin, lying on the floor, razor still gripped in his hand, fresh blood warm and sticky on his neck. S-so thenâŠheâd died. And come back. And wasnât in any pain.Â
Some sick fascination drove him to slice a deep gash in his arm before turning the blade on his neck again.
He woke up just as healthy as before, no cut in sight.
That settled it, then. CastysâŠhe was immortal. A deep feeling of freedom unlike anything heâd ever known washed over him. He could do anything, go anywhere, not having to worry about wasting his time or being in danger, because fuck that he was immortal nothing would ever stop him again.Â
Lying in a puddle of his own blood, Castys couldnât help but laugh.
He got slapped and lectured the next day for testing things out on himself, sure, but it was nothing in the face of his infinite future. He could go on with everyone forever and e-
Kamon left.Â
Alfyn died.Â
Izogie retired.
And then, one day, Castys was standing on the deck of the ship, his ship, and he realized he didnât recognize a single face looking back at him. Well, he recognized them, but he didnât know them, didnât remember any of them from his life before the years felt like minutes. There was a divide between them, and he wasnât sure who put it there.
Immortality wasâŠlonely. Isolating.Â
Someone else like him had to be out there, right? So heâd look all over, chase down every lead, even an immortal monster or something would do, he just needed-
Castys felt as alone as he was all those years ago, trapped on that deserted island, the passage of time impossible to follow.Â
But no matter what, heâd find that ship on the horizon.Â
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whumpâ @blackrosesandwhumpâ @fanmanga1357-blogââ @thehopelessopusâ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifiâ @hearse-songâ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathenââ @galaxywhumpâ @starnight-whumpâ @his-unspoken-wordsâ @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-eggâ @pumpkin-spice-whumpâ @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-saladââ @befuddled-calico-whumpâ @whumpinggrounds @whump-queenâ @whumpedydump @theelvishcowgirlâ
#i wrote something#whump#castys#immortal whumpee#pirate whump#suicide for convenience#why is it so hard to write things that arent pain why do people have to talk to each other so much#but uh there you go there's Boy Finds Out lore#ive said it before in like an ask answer but now it is right there in the canon:#castys acts the way he does partly due to the fact that he is mentally 19 and his brain is not fully mature!#he's also just. like that. but he would mellow out some with age for sure#uh what else...oh rip to kamon i was planning on including them more and then it just felt forced so sorry bruh#yes izogie is trans and during this time period HRT is similar to our world where it's something that has to be upkept constantly#it's just a magical procedure instead of a shot#later as shit advances magic will be able to force the endocrine bitches to produce the preferred hormones forever with only one procedure!#it's still a slow process but much less upkeep#i could talk more (you can send an ask if you want me to đ€§) but back to this actual thing#alfyn i just took his name from the octopath apothecary and no one called me out so im doing it myself#poor castys gets so excited about being immortal and then immediately gets hit with the reality of crippling lonliness lmaoooo#i say immediately but it was like 20 years or smth#i can FINALLY work on next erebus chapter oh we are finally at the Place no one will be excited but me
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#dis gonn be a minni renttt stay ways my pumkins <3#SO HOW RHE FUCK IM SUPPOSED TO APPLY FOR JOBS THAT ARE IN MY WORKFILED RHAT THEY WANT 3-5 YEAR WORK EXPERIENCE???????#but also We ArE sO iN nEeD oF hEaLtHcArE wOrKoRs MY ASS YOU CANT EVEN PAY THEM#seriously there are like 3 job offers in my country involving my occupation. ALMOST IN WHOLE EASTERN HUNGARY??????#rohadjanak meg azok akik leĂ©pĂtik az egĂ©szsĂ©gĂŒgyet a magĂĄnkĂłrhĂĄzakĂ©rt. de igazĂĄn.#but also if while in masters i wont work jn my field okay. what else? i am overqualified for the jobs i could do without any other knowledge#and and and the cherry on top.#i cannot apply for full time jobs cause of uni but also cannot for student jobs apparently cause im on correspondence training#im gonna go and sell my organs bruhđ« đïžđ
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#ngl ive been needing to put this somewhere but like#please explain to me how youre supposed to control what pokemon somebody likes#every time i look at sables pokemon tastes n theyre similar to my ex's im just like Ok. like what am i supposed to do about that help#but my ex was like youre giving MY pokemon to THEM meaning YOU hate ME#me when theres literally multiple of the same type of pokemon. what do you want me to do#mind you i gave them furfrou. because it looks like their sona. and they got soooooo up in arms about that for no fucking reason#and god forbid they just happen to also like decidueye. oh my god#like does any of what im describing and have been describing on this blog sound normal or healthy to any of you. be forreal#i recognize my hypocrisy about the fox thing but even still theyre both different. like maybe if he rped as a furfrou and like#talked about furfrou literally all the time help#its different when youve made smth your identity. brother it was just a pokemon you liked and you forgot it existed half the time#its not like i gave them skitty? like im so over it help#looking back on everything n realizing how unhealthy and insane most of my relationships were w these people bruh#im just glad that anxiety and worry he was constantly inflicting upon me is gone#cus i can tell you rn i dont miss any of it#angelo is literally like the vacation ive been needing jesus chriiiist
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So round two of family drama briefly happened again tonight and despite trying to sleep, I was still just this the whole time:
#all i got is that my mom prior to this did apologize for some stuff she said and aunty said sorry as well but wanted to be left alone for a#bit mom respected that but then tonight texted asking if she was okay that was it#but my aunt was like fine please leave me alone im busy so mom was like fine and added 'from (dads name)' as well#which got my aunt saying dads name said what? and mom saying simply leaving you alone?#and she straight up got pissy and calling mom deranged and shit#and dad finally texted from himself then telling her to fuck off and....yeah it escelated a lil from there#with my aunt threatening to call police for harassment which??? my parents were not doing and even police#would see that and also dub this a family dispute not in their area#but eventually dad just said hes done with them all and...yeah thats kinda it#like i said brief round two#but like bruh i guess i can say now im not talking to both sides of extended family#we fell out with my moms side completely after my granddads death with my step-nans death solidfying it#and now this shit i guess causing us to not talk to dads...though i dunno mom got a phone call attempt from unknown number#she didnt answer as unknown but we assuming could be another aunty from dads side so
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#so tired of my friend's bum ass partner getting in the way of things#dude is hella controlling and makes every room so awkward i cant stand it and acts like their grown ass needs my friend to do anything#we'll be hanging out at his place and hell be like#gotta go my partner wants to go to sleep and he needs me to do it#apparently#he never wants to end the hangout either it's always this person's decision#partner is lame as fuck too i seriously cant fathom what he sees in them#and every time we're chilling you better believe snapchat is open and they're talking#like BROOO LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD#IM MARRIED AND UR ACTINGLIKE THIS!!! LET THE BOY HAVE FUN OUTSIDE OF YOUR PRESENCE#like you LIVE togther you do not have to be attached at the messaging app like this#and rescheduling to do chores together is wild#it would be cute if this didn't happen every single time#and it's not cute because the partner is still controlling every second of his time#HERES THE THING HES WANTED A PROPOSAL#BUT THIS FUCK WONT PROPOSE#AND DOESNT WANT KIDS#BUT WONT BREAK UP WITH MY FRIEND WHO WANTS CHILDREN AND AND PROPOSAL#LIKE FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFF#and they're open and every time another person joins he's talkig to me about how the partner pays wayyy more attention to the other one#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#BREAK UP#THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU#oh my god#hes coming over without partner and staying the night so we can talk without this bum over his shoulder#they're a cheater too#but it was onlyfans so it âisnt as badâ#the onlyfans of someone they both. know.#im pissed bruh#they just renewed their lease together too
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