#and ill usually have an hour or so in the evening to do more but it depends on my energy level

[revelboo]

Idk if you know this but wasps fucking. LOVE sugar and honey. Its what the adults usually eat iirc. Thats why Wasps usually go after bee hives (for multiple reasons, the bees become food for the larval wasps, its basically an all you can eat buffet, its also getting rid of competition, ect)

Anyways. All this to say: Waspinator finding the sugar/honey and being like "What. What is??? Smells weird, like antifreeze a bit. is it antifreeze?? (bc fun fact waaaay back in the day Antifreeze actually had a sweet taste that was super dangerous bc ppl would poison others with it so a bittering agent had to be added but like, i dont think that would be a thing for cybertronians so theyre used to mildly sweet antifreeze anyways-) Then he tastes it and is like OH FUCK YEAH LETS GOOOOOOO. But sadly sugar is SUPER BAD for vehicles like cars and stuff. So i imagine poor Waspinator goes on a sugar bender and then comes to like "Wha happun...." and hes aching and feels AWFUL, sprawled out in the barn, covered in christmas lights from someone else's house and SO much dirt and sand from like 6 different states and the human is just like "So. youre awake. Get up, i got the powerwasher. You're COVERED in dead bugs, youre not coming in my house."

Oh, I love this!

Worker Bee Pt 19

Waspinator x Reader

• Inhaling because you don’t have the energy to deal with his misguided ‘dating’ right now or even to try and figure out why he thinks that could ever work, you yank your hand out of his grip and he makes a noise of whining protest. But you can flex your fingers now even though they’re sore. Magic, alien bug spit. “Waspinator, sweetie. I have to report in to my boss and get some loan applications processed or I’m going to get fired.” And he’s just staring at you, head tilting. You’re pretty sure all he heard was ‘Waspinator blah blah blah.’ Right. “If I get fired I can’t afford food or my house.” That he’s pretty much trashed. “I’ll be homeless.” There’s a reaction, antenna back and wings buzzing. “You don’t want that, right?”

• “No,” he growls, wings humming and flaring out slightly. Because no one is taking little friend’s hive away. And you reach up and pat him on the cheek. ‘Great. So you just go watch cartoons, okay? And be quiet,’ you say, nudging him into the other room and he allows it, because you’re touching him voluntarily. Settling himself on the couch, he fidgets with the skinny control stick that makes the screen work like you’d shown him. Can hear you talking to someone else on the little screen he’s forbidden from touching. Why do you sound different talking to them? Venting in annoyance, he fidgets before slipping out of the hive to patrol. Too agitated at the idea of someone daring to try and take your home, his home.

• Somehow you manage to convince your boss that you’ve not been checking in because you’ve been deathly ill. Too ill to go to the doctor. At least, you pray he brought that lie. Catching up on loan applications, it’s a couple of hours before the quiet really registers. Maybe Waspinator is just being good. Watching cartoons. Teeth gritting, you can’t make yourself believe that. He’s got to be quietly destroying something. Or rooting up someone else’s azaleas to drag in your house to go with the other one. Dating. How are you going to explain to him that’s not happening?

• Roaming the property, his wings tuck close to his back against the cold. Heading through the trees surrounding your home, he moves in a widening spiral and vents softly when he leaves the trees and comes across a series of black boxes. That smell sweet. Circling one and toying with it, that scent is somewhat familiar. Sweet and cloying. Transforming he leans his upper body on the box and uses his mandibles to begin chewing through it to get to that delicious smell.

• Startling when you hear a boom, you inhale. Then there are several more in quick succession, you save your work and get up. Know the guy closest to you is a bit trigger happy, but if he’s shooting at skunks again and you have to smell a dead skunk for two weeks straight again, you’re going to- the house is quiet. Swearing, you run to get your boots and coat after realizing Waspinator isn’t in the house. Why would he go over there, though? The old man is coming out of the woods, face ruddy and wearing coveralls and slippers, a shotgun in his hands when you get outside into the snow. “Are you out of your mind?!” You scream at him, going with righteous indignation. And the old man hesitates but doesn’t lower the shotgun. ‘There’s a monster wasp. I saw it. Tore up my bee hives,’ he says, turning in a circle. “You’ve seen some whiskey. You even hear yourself? A monster wasp?” Feel bad as you say, trying to convince him he’s crazy to get him to leave. “Get the hell off my property before I call the cops!” And he’s scowling at you, insisting he saw it as you dig out your phone in threat and he starts moving. How much are bee hives? Because you’re going to owe him. Waiting until you’re sure he’s long gone, you head into the barn.

• Groaning and shivering uncontrollably, his head lifts when the hay he’d burrowed into is dug away from him. And his little friend has come to see him, eyes narrowed. “Waspinator’s frieeeend,” he drawls, feeling absolutely awful and jittery as he snares you with two limbs and drags you into the hay with him, curling his altmode around you, limbs grabbing on as you wriggle, screeching that’s he’s sticky. Very, very sticky. And feeling not quite overenergized, but close. Processor miserably buzzing as he rests his head on top of yours and curls tighter around your warmth.

• “Let go!” He’s back in his awful giant wasp form and he’s curling up like wasps do when they die. Is he dying? And he’s forcing you into a ball, legs drawn up to your chest as his thorax curls up. He’s humming now. Is he singing? Wait. Is he drunk? Arms now pinned to your chest, you can feel whatever he’s absolutely covered in sticking to you, too. Beehives. It’s honey. He’s covered in honey and dead bugs. And you are, too now. Why? Why is he like this? Legs shifting against you as he slurs ‘Waspinator’s little warm friiiiend.’ Wondering how long it’ll take him to sober up right as he makes a funny hitching noise and you’re thrashing to get away when he shudders and does it again. “Don’t you dare throw up honey on me-Waspinator! Don’t you dare!”

Previous

[thefairywithboots]

Sweet Rest (Loki x fem!Reader)

As requested by @stilleobjection, I present to you Sweet Rest.

Summary: Loki helps you relax after a stressful day at work.

Ratings: General audiences

Warnings: Just pure fluff. Lots of cuddles.

Word count: 1.4K

This is my first non-smutty Loki fic. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tag list in comments

It was well after midnight when you finally got home from work and unlocked the door to your apartment, wanting nothing more than to sink into your bed and just forget the day.

Your boss had insisted that you stay overtime and finish the extra paperwork that was left behind by your coworker, causing you to leave five hours later than you normally would.

When you finally got back to your apartment, your head was pounding against your skull. You went into the kitchen and filled the teapot with water to brew some tea. You left the pot on the stove to boil before going into the living room.

When you switched the light on, your heart gave a jolt when you saw a familiar figure sitting in your armchair.

"Christ, Loki- couldn't you give me some kind of heads up that you were coming over?" you breathed out, placing a hand over your heart. You had given him a key to your apartment but had not expected him to come over while you were gone, and just wait in your living room with the lights out.

Loki was sitting there, his arms on either armrest. His long black hair which was usually slicked back hung loose past his shoulders. Even through your stress-induced headache, you could not help but notice how gorgeous he looked right now.

"Well, you weren't answering your phone," he said while standing up from the chair. His tall frame took up a large portion of your living room. You had to crane your neck back to look up at him. "And you're usually not gone for this long, so I thought I would come and see what was wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," you said while rubbing your hand over your forehead to try and ease the pain in your head. "My boss was just making me work enough for both me and my coworker since she left work early today."

Loki's gaze softened as he tilted his head to the side, humming softly. "That doesn't really seem fair to you, does it?"

You shrugged. "I'm getting paid more by the end of the week, so I suppose it's worth it."

The sound of the teapot whistling in the kitchen caught your attention, and you ran back in there to take it off the stove.

While you were tending to the tea, Loki followed you into the kitchen, his tall frame towering over you as he leaned over your shoulder, and placed his hands on your arms. "I think I have a good idea as to how to help you relax." His voice had a way of slithering into your mind as if he were using his magic on you when it was just his voice alone. He kissed down your jawline and to your neck, pulling you against his chest.

Any other night, you would have melted into him and dragged him off to your bedroom to get lost in him completely. But now you felt like all you wanted to do was have your tea and go to sleep.

You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips against your skin for a moment. You would have let him kiss you all over all night if you thought he would stop there, but he was already massaging your breasts through your blouse.

You shook your head slightly, pulling away slightly. “Not tonight, Loki… I have a headache and it’s been a long day.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not in the mood? You’re always in the mood… are you ill?” He dramatically put a hand to your forehead as if to check your temperature.

You couldn’t help but smirk. “It’s just been a long day, and I’m really tired.” You leaned against his hard chest, laying your head on his shoulder. “I’d like it if we just sat and cuddled for a while.”

Loki’s arms wrapped around you, his chin resting against the top of your head. “Of course, darling… I just want you to feel relaxed.”

Loki told you to go and make yourself comfortable on the sofa and he would bring you the tea. You dimmed the lights, the slightest light making your brain want to jump from your skull.

He brought the tea into the living room, setting it down on the coffee table in front of you before pouring you a cup.

“Here you are, darling…” he said while handing you the cup and saucer. You took a sip, the familiar warmth of chamomile relaxing you slightly.

“I really hate my boss…” you muttered.

“Oh? And why is that?” he asked while walking around to the back of the sofa. For a moment, you thought he was going to grab a blanket until you felt his strong hands on your shoulders.

He began to knead the sore muscles in your shoulders, and you resisted the urge to moan out loud. His touch was deliberate and skilful, loosening the strain that had been building up in you all day.

“It just… feels like he expects me to cover up for my coworker when she takes off early… and… she never has to make up for any—“ You cut off, letting out a sigh as he massaged your shoulders more rhythmically. “Loki, that feels so good…”

He hummed softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. You turned your head towards him at the last moment, causing him to kiss your lips instead.

Heat rose in your cheeks once the kiss broke, and you knew it didn’t have anything to do with the tea. His lips trailed across your cheek and to your neck as his hands continued to work your shoulders. The feeling of his lips made you want to melt into him and forget the rest of the world.

Once your muscles were loose and relaxed, Loki finally came around to sit beside you as you were finishing off your cup of tea. He pulled you into his arms, leaning back against the armrest of the couch. You sighed, snuggling into his hard chest as you settled between his legs, allowing him to envelop you in his warmth.

You could have laid there in his embrace all night, feeling so safe and secure with him wrapped around you. The sound of his heart beating could be heard gently as you rested your head over where his heart was.

“I’m sorry for startling you when you first came in…” he said gently while twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers.

You hummed softly, inhaling his scent; a warm, earthy aroma that had floral undertones. “I’m glad you’re here…”

One of Loki’s arms reached behind him as he took one of the books that was lying on the table next to the lamp. He turned the lamp on the dimmest setting so as not to disturb your eyes as his eyes scanned the cover.

“Jane Austen, huh?” he mused while flipping through the giant tome. It had four novels in one volume.

You looked up at him, your heart swelling as you saw his blue eyes scanning over the pages.

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“Can you read to me?”

The feel of his lips against the top of your head felt soothing. “I thought you had a headache.”

“I like the sound of your voice… it’s soothing.”

A small smirk came across his handsome face, as his hand began to idly massage your scalp. “Very well. Which of these would you like for me to read to you?”

You hummed. “Whichever one you want. I’ve already read them all.” You buried your head into his chest.

You felt as if you could feel him smirk as he flipped through the book, trying to decide which one appeared the most interesting to him. Every move he made was soft and delicate as if he were afraid of disturbing you. Even the sound of the pages turning was soft and quiet.

Loki began reading to you in a low, gentle tone, and you recognized it as the beginning of Sense And Sensibility. The sound of his voice made his chest rumble against your ear, and you could already feel yourself begin to doze off in his arms.

You must have fallen asleep before he could finish the first chapter, because the next thing you knew, he was pulling a blanket over your shoulders before wrapping both arms around you, holding you close. After pressing a kiss to your forehead, he whispered “I love you.”

He clearly thought you must have still been asleep. He had never told you that before, your relationship having been casual up to this point. But the moment of vulnerability made your heart swell. You kept your eyes closed and your head on his chest as his breathing slowed, and he fell into a quiet doze himself, before allowing the welcoming tendrils of sleep to pull you back under.

[aceofwhump]

Do you have some Neal Caffrey fic recs?

Oh my god so many, nonny. So many. There's 76 fics on my masterlist doc if you want to check that out but I'll add a few of my absolute favorite ones on here. Here ya go:

The Weather Outside Is Frightful by OnYourMark Summary: A blizzard traps the White Collar team at Peter and Elizabeth's place. The good news: everyone's safe, warm, and well fed. The bad news? Neal's spiking a fever, and in this weather there's no way he's getting to a hospital...

Blinding White by Raelin Dex Summary: Tag for episode "As You Were". What if Van Horn had been a better shot? What if the dress Whites of Neal's uniform hadn't come out quite so white? Alternate ending fic.

Hanging On by DJDangerLove Summary: An undercover operation ends up going over a ledge, a seven story ledge and Neal's left dangling. One-shot. No Slash.

Distracted When I Spike The Punch by TJ-TeeJay Summary: A migraine, a reception, punch that was spiked. A potentially hazardous combination for some, certainly a dangerous combination for Neal Caffrey. PG-13, Gen.

A Harder Sell by dusty violet Summary: An extended/alternate/perhaps more realistic scene. Spoilers for Hard Sell.

Three Kinds of Hell by TJ-TeeJay Summary: With Peter incapacitated, Neal is assigned a temporary new handler. Running through the city and spending evenings at various hospitals starts taking its toll on Neal. PG-13, Gen.

The Couch by DjDangerLove Summary: "Neal loves Peter and Elizabeth's couch. Sure, it is soft and warm, but that isn't the real reason he finds comfort in it. No, the Burke's couch makes him feel safe and secure." NO SLASH!

Arsenic and Old Lace by IsmayDeVain Summary: Take one teaspoon of crazy, plus two teaspoons of worried Peter, and one giant helping of Neal whump and what do you get? A one shot that will keep you in suspense! Hold on, readers, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Neal Caffrey's Type of Miracle by RascalFlattsS Summary: “What if she takes a shot at Neal?” AU for Book of Hours. What if things had gone differently at the buy? MAJOR SPOILERS! You’ve been warned. Neal/Peter friendship. No slash.

Blizzard Conditions by stan_of_many Summary: “Diana looked over at the CI who sat shivering in the chair, cheeks flushed with fever yet far too pale everywhere else. “He really doesn’t look good.” Neal didn’t even take mock offense but began coughing—hard. Peter made an aborted gesture toward him, clearly unsure what to do. He looked over at Diana, hiding a worried expression that the Junior agent knew too well to be fooled...” Even simple illnesses can become dangerous if help isn’t available. The White Collar team gets stuck at the FBI offices during a blizzard and Neal is quickly becoming dangerously ill...

Loaned Away by stan_of_many Summary: “Peter frowned slightly, realizing that Neal hadn’t spoken since Ruiz had practically dragged him in by his collar. Usually he’d be making about five different excuses for why nothing could possibly ever be his fault and cheekily denying every accusation. As it was, he stood silent.” Neal gets loaned to Organized Crime for the day and Peter shows how to really care for a CI when he sees the bruises.

[sleepyhouse2art]

i fucking hate the term "outsider artist". daniel johnston was an ARTIST. wild man fischer was an ARTIST, and made way cooler stuff than zappas exploitative ass ever did! just because i have schizophrenia, that means i cant be a regular person and a regular artist? i have to be an "outsider"?

i also think it's a way for normal people to feel cool for knowing about someone "obscure", even though any kind of cultural currency from knowing "obscure media" should have died when we all got little computers in our pockets. you're not cool for knowing "weird" stuff. you're not special. fuck you. anybody could know what you know.

i think people simultaneously fetishize mental illness and also condescend to the actual real people who have severe mental illness. they treat us like we're babies who can't do anything right, or like being crazy makes us lesser than them. i already get treated like a baby by almost everyone i know irl. drawing is really the only thing that makes me feel good anymore and one of my only remaining interests. i usually draw upwards of 8 hours a day. i don't like being regarded as weird because i try so hard to be normal and it's so hard for me to do the things most people do automatically. i feel like they know something about life that i don't. before my first break and my diagnosis i was so much more capable and now i can't even do most of my adls anymore because i keep having them and having them and my brain is so different now. im in and out of the hospital so much. people keep an eye on me. my husband gets frustrated with at me for acting like a baby. i hate it and it sucks.

but having schiz shouldn't mean im dumber than other people or less than other people even though that's how i feel most times. i wish people wouldn't be so rude. people are so rude to me sometimes just because i have a problem with my brain. i went outside for the second time in a year this week and a man laughed at me in the store. i couldn't remember how to swipe a card and the lady got frustrated and took it from me. i felt awful.

im sorry this is so long. im sorry to complain. i think this shit really pisses me off!!! i really resent the way people treated daniel johnston and wild man fischer. fuck everybody who made fun of their great art and acted like they were just a stupid joke, or felt cool for knowing about them. they deserved so much better.

[ai-the-broccoli]

aaghh I hate health anxiety ocd (or whatever you call it), it's literally doing nothing other than contributing to make my health worse

... wait actually, does anyone have like, tips/advice for that kind of thing? I really think I need some help with this one

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Sometimes i'm surprised that there's adults in the whump comunity, so, as one of the pillarse of whump art in this platform, how do you manage to keep posting so much content about torturing fictional characters while having an adult Life with adult things to do without someone you know IRL finding your Tumblr and thinking you're a serial killer? /pos

so one big help is that no one I know irl is aware of tumblr's existence (or if they are, they don't have accounts)

A decent chunk of people know I make gore art, and I've show some of them my pieces, but they're usually just like "hehe blood" and don't question it

I'm not overly worried about anyone finding my Tumblr, 'cause I'm not active enough on any other social media for people to go looking lol. If someone asks what I'm working on, I often just give a vague description of Riot Kings (because when am I not working on that?) and it's usually good enough to satisfy their curiosity. (I also have plenty of non-whump art to show folks who ask me what I'm drawing ahaha)

[todayisafridaynight]

daigo-gets-trolled kinda fuckin panel

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[enden-k]

refraining from drawing now to force myself to play through the genshin event until im done, so i can freely browse through my dashboard/tl/ao3/tumblr inbox/my fridge again without untagged spoilers

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[soni-dragon]

Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered

[magic-is-something-we-create]

if you have no idea what im talking about, these are the intros im referencing!! i still have several lined up for posting (namely the main antag and the eternal three) and a Very Long List of other intros to eventually do for the series, but i want to know what y'all would like to see once the current backlog is posted!!

[moreaujeans]

ourgejjg

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

[indigo6f00ff]

funny update a couple of months later for People Who Want to Know: i dont have the car that got me into this Incredibly Minor Accident anymore. while after the accident, i did have to get the brakes serviced (wow, they were faulty, who knew!), it proceeded to have Several More Issues, such as: the transmission being fucked up and Trouble With Turns. i still drove it regardless because i needed that shit to get to college but eventually the radiator fan stopped working on it (where it would start overheating if the car wasn't moving (if the car was moving then air could still blow over the engine, cooling it down)) and My Mother deemed it too dangerous to drive. RIP to the shitty 2012 jeep liberty hand-me-down with 200k miles that led to the creation of the Kim Moment(TM).

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[phagodyke]

didnt think it was actually physically possible to experience worse period cramps than I was already getting every month but being back on the pill again has proven me wrong 🫠🫠🫠🫠