#and i don’t get mad easily.
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Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
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I honestly don’t know y’all….
#across the spiderverse#atsv#miles morales#atsv miles#this don’t look like someone who’s gonna easily forgive ANYONE#and that’s great#cause black characters deserve to be angry#and not be expected to just take whatever’s thrown at them#you know what#I do know#black characters are allowed#lemme say that again#ALLOWED#to not rock with how they get treated by those around them#they’re allowed to rightfully get mad in situations#deep sigh
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We should rename adhd to “horrible fuckshit hell disorder” HFHD for short. Who’s with me.
#personal#adhd#I am aware that adhd is probably why im creative and shit I just dont care bc i hate having it#The cons outweigh the pros by sooo much#Im hyperverbal so im extremely annoying to everyone including myself Bc I literally cannot shut up#Until i get mad of course and then suddenly i cant talk at all#rsd sucks shit#My pills make me feel sick so I can’t get comfortable and also they’re appetite suppressants so i lose weight like crazy in a bad way#School is a nightmare#Im so easily distracted#When I have a hyper fixation it takes over my life and personality and makes me unbearable to be around bc thats all i want to talk about#Im socially more bearable when im not hyper fixating but i also feel unfulfilled when I dont have something to be crazy about half the time#Time is not real#i have a nonexistent memory#im always so bored highkey#Things get old so fast#Just horrible horrible disorder to have don’t recommend it to anyone#Btw this is all me MEDICATED#Off meds im literally completely incomprehensible#Not exaggerating
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#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
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i kind of knew in theory that all my hobbies involved my hands but i kind of just ignored it n was like oh well im sure id manage
top ten pics taken seconds before disaster
#tldr a lot of drawing + my dorm desk is Really Bad for my wrists and i didn’t realize has kind of fucked me up bad#i don’t do basically anything all week until it stops hurting and i draw a tiny bit and it goes back to hurting#i have literally nothing to do w myself bc brain doesn’t want to do anything but draw write or game and i Can’t Do Those Things#and even when my wrist stops hurting i have to basically exchange any time i’ve earned to do my classwork#leaving no time for myself and my own work unless i say fuck it and gamble more strain#i don’t want to say it’s depressing me bc it feels. pathetic? but as someone who Has to get ideas out lest they start rotting him#it’s… not great#on top of some irl frustrations it’s made for a kind of glum few weeks#oh well. back to laying on my side watching youtube i guess#sparks speaks#vent#? yeah i guess#“i’m not depressed” says the guy who wakes up feels his hand twinge and immediately almost starts crying#like. lame ass behavior but it’s not like it’s a choice#i just wish it didn’t make me so mean. i’ve started avoiding ppl cause i’ve been getting mad rlly easily#which is not helpinggggg
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I’m gonna back away from the Fear & Hunger fandom for a while because it’s stressing me out. Too many stupid takes and misinterpretations of the characters. It doesn’t feel like the fandom is engaging with the actual content.
#please be patient I have autism and things overwhelm me easily#I get attached to things really hard and get irrationally mad when people don’t see it in the way I do#but I’m not gonna bitch at them about it because that’s stupid#it still sets me off though so the best thing I can do is remove myself from the situation
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i don’t know what it is with this city and the entitlement of off leash people but? holy fuck? a 50 year old man should not be getting in my god damn face to try an intimidate me because i told him to leash his dog that kept approaching mine
#this is like the third time? i have had people actually mad when i tell them not to let their dogs approach mine at a public park?#i do not care about off leash dogs as long as they don’t approach other dogs#also if you are a 6’ man and try and get in a woman’s face to intimidate her i personally hope you choke and also know#that i am not going to back down that easily#personal#MAD!!!!#wish i had land so i don’t have to go train at public parks anymore
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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I just learned from randomly looking up afterimages and seeing that one of my migraine medicines is linked to them, and knowing I started getting afterimages when I got my severe photophobia I looked up if that medicine was linked to photophobia and sure as fuck.
I am so upset. I cannot believe with all the times I’ve brought up to my neurologist that my photophobia is the most debilitating part of my condition that no one EVER thought to check it any of the medicines they had me on might be causing it. They are always trying to redirect me to other things and never addressing the photophobia and it might be as easy as weaning me off this medication and finding an alternative??? Fuck man I am pissed.
#personal#migraine hell#I don’t get mad easily but this has me severely upset#I’ve been dealing with this for TWO YEARS#I was fired from my last job#which was a blessing in disguise but still#and I haven’t been able to safely drive in two years#and it might be the fucking medicine I was on???#I’m big mad
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Hi, I know you hate endevour and his fans..but whay if people like him because of his psycholgy, he is an intresting character..
Honestly, I hate Endeavor but I don’t really care if peoples likes him or not; y’all can like whatever characters you want, it’s really none of my business at the end of the day.
What I don’t like and find embarrassing, it’s rude fans that come into my inbox disguised as Anonymous only to attack me because I hold him accountable for things he has in fact done and for supporting his victims, while not caring about what happens to him.
I mean— Why do you care if 1 out of billion other fans doesn’t like Endeavor (for fair reasons)? It’s just like when bullies in middle school hate on someone for their looks. Like, the other person is allegedly “ugly” and you get mad on a personal level because of it? Very questionable behavior.
If you find him an interesting character, that’s totally fine. I don’t really have any say in it, because patronizing a total stranger is a weird and narcissistic behavior that I won’t engage in.
I just personally don’t like Endeavor nor I think he’s an interesting character, since I don’t really like nor him nor peoples who are like him irl, this because of personal reasons that I won’t disclose on here. It’s really just this 👐🏼
#— ❥ kelanswers;#answered#anonymous#aizawa don’t look#never thought i’d have to explain specify and clarify why i don’t like a character who’s an abuser 😭#like… i don’t see why i SHOULD be liking a character or a ship only because some toxic fans impose it on me#literally i don’t get this trend of rudely imposing your opinions thoughts or likings on others. it’s not really cool dare i say???#i’m someone who has always ‘stood on business’ which is why i seriously don’t get all this imposing thing#because i genuinely don’t care to do so on others 💀#i reevaluate things based on MY point of view. it has always been like this since i was a kid. which is why i don’t get swayed easily#and sometimes i think it’s toxic and not really cool. but then i see peoples imposing themselves on others and i reevaluate lmfao#it’s really just… why would you come in MY blog to get mad at ME about what i post in MY blog??? do y’all see the weirdness or???#because it’s REALLY weird. it’s like going in someone’s house and be rude at them for how their house looks. it’s loser behavior tbh#(btw none of this is meant towards you anon. but an earlier mannerless anon lmfao)#(wanted to clarify because some peoples nowadays tend to misinterpret a lot things that someone says)
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God I just feel so fucking angry.
I’m in a lot of fandoms, and every one, every single one, is sexist. Every piece of media I consume, every show, book, movie—it’s sexist.
I like some more than others—Fairy Tail gives all but one grown woman huge chests, and deliberately makes her insecure about it; Wendy and Chelia are a little weird as the 12-year-old girl trope in anime; Lucy almost always fights female antagonists—and I love those shows, I do. I adore them. I watch and rewatch and I love the stories, up until certain days when I just can’t take it.
I hate having to settle. I hate that, when I talk about Fairy Tail, it feels like I’m justifying the sexism with “oh, it’s not too bad.” I have to compare it. MHA is worse, obviously; fewer female characters, fewer female powerhouses. But with Fairy Tail I still have to settle.
There are many main powerful female characters, yes. But the male-female ratio is obvious. The Oracion Seis only has one woman, and she’s mostly there to parallel Lucy. Phantom Lord had only one woman. Grimoire Heart has only one woman and a teenage girl.
There’s only one female dragon slayer (not including Irene), and she’s twelve. I could go into her and Chelia’s and Mavis’ (and honestly Meldy’s) whole thing as the young, innocent girl tropes all over anime but I don’t want to-
Female powerhouses? Erza, Ultear (antagonist), Minerva (antagonist)…??? Juvia??? Cana? Mavis (dead)?
I wouldn’t count Sorano and Yukino in the powerhouse section. I might count Lucy, but given how much time she spends in the earlier seasons needing to be rescued it’s a little weak.
But male powerhouses? Natsu, Gray, Makarov, rock guy, Laxus, Jellal, Gajeel, Hades, Acnologia, Zeref, fire god guy, lightning god guy, memory guy, I really should’ve rewatched the show before making this post,
My point is—it’s an obvious gap. And yet I view fairy tail as one of the most gender balanced anime. It feels so much better.
A big part of that is their characters. Every female character is treated with the same dignity as the male characters. No matter how sexualized they may be, they are people. They each have backstories as deep as the men.
And I am so so angry that that’s a factor here. I want to be properly pissed about how they treat Lucy, I want to get mad at the unrealistically big boobs—but fairy tail is comparatively such a good show for gender equality.
I don’t know what the point to this was. I’m just upset.
#sexism#sexism in media#sexism in anime#anime sexism#I really do love fairy tail so much#there’s so much I adore about it#but so much I hate too#and I hate that I look past those things so easily#I’m just. pissed rn.#okay but about Lucy I genuinely love how she actively wants to dress the way she does#like sure Mashima puts her in sexy outfits and stuff#but it’s a part of her character#she WANTS to dress like that she WANTS to be promiscuous#and erza does too!! she’s not so revealing but she’s#I guess sex-positive is the word#them dressing how they want and being so unashamed about it is so refreshing#you don’t see that much#there’s so much to praise fairy tail for#the reason I don’t get mad so much about sexism in fairy tail is because Mashima very clearly sees his female characters as PEOPLE#and it’s such a low bar#something something bare minimum#but I really appreciate it#cecenyss
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idk what to do with my next haircut :(((
#marzi speaks#i’m not mad at it rn but it’ll be time for a cut soon#and i have no clue what i want it to do#i like the length. i’m comfortable enough in my gender now to be able to have long hair without feeling dysphoric#which is actually really really nice#but i feel like it’s time to change things up#maybe i’ll get a side shave??? those are cool#n i’ve been feeling more punk/scene/etc lately.#plus i’d still get to keep the length on the other side and style it however i want#and it’d look sick as fuck#but like. idk. there’s lots of other cool options as well#i could very easily get my current hairstyle trimmed into a pretty solid wolf cut#there’s a lot of cool grungy hairstyles out there….#i just don’t know!!! i just don’t know#and that’s not even considering color. i think i want purple of some sort but like. red purple blue purple? red blue and purple?#do i want streaks do i want an ombre do i want something rough and messy… i just don’t KNOWWW
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“Why didn’t x character(s) just do this?? Then everything would’ve been solved!!”
Yeah well, that wouldn’t have made for a very compelling story meant to last over 120 minutes/multiple episodes/seasons now would it?
#why do people even watch Things™️ if they get mad when conflicts aren’t easily solved in 5 minutes#I WANT DRAMA#I WANT CHAOS#obv this doesn’t apply to people who say it as a joke or out of tragedy#also y’all gotta remember WE have the advantage of hindsight#the characters don’t lol#but then again I used to watch a lot of kdrama#so maybe I’m used to shit taking FOREVER to get solved *wheeze*#chaos chats
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Oh goodie today is gonna be rough
#I got way too little sleep last night and we’re driving home today#and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to sleep in our car#which means I’m going to be less patient with everyone but I NEED to be patient#because my older brother (autistic) always gets mad when we get stuck in traffic and threees ALWAYS traffic around here#and he vocally stims when he’s upset and normally I don’t mind but listening to it for 6+ hours is enough to literally drive me insane#and of course since I’m the sibling who’s APPARENTLY least outwardly bothered by the noise I have to sit next to him#which once again normally I do not mind#I love my brother#but not on long car trips when he’s easily upset#gah#rambles from the floor#prayers would be appreciated if you guys wouldn’t mind T^T
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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying
#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#writing stuff#i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic#there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good#the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand#i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun#but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader#can’t decide which i like more#god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head#next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao#and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude#‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God#‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down#‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon#‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters#anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many#gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced#even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another
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So uh does anyone wanna talk about how ooc it is that Derek I lost my entire family as a teenager and was severely traumatized by it Hale would just willingly kill himself off and leave his child an orphan to suffer through the same hell he went through?
#Derek Hale#Eli Hale#CAUSE I THINK TF NOT#im sorry there is no way Derek would do this so easily to Eli#he knows what it’s like to lose a parent at that age#don’t even get me started on the fact that his last words were spoken to Scott and not you know HIS SON#who was standing right there btw#I haven’t even seen the movie but I’ve pieced together enough#derek hale deserved better#teen wolf#teen wolf: the movie#tw#teen wolf: the movie spoilers#ALSO IM SO MAD THAT SCOTT AND ALISON GET CUSTODY OF ELI#LIKE WTF#scott mccall#teen wolf the movie
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