I just learned from randomly looking up afterimages and seeing that one of my migraine medicines is linked to them, and knowing I started getting afterimages when I got my severe photophobia I looked up if that medicine was linked to photophobia and sure as fuck.
I am so upset. I cannot believe with all the times I’ve brought up to my neurologist that my photophobia is the most debilitating part of my condition that no one EVER thought to check it any of the medicines they had me on might be causing it. They are always trying to redirect me to other things and never addressing the photophobia and it might be as easy as weaning me off this medication and finding an alternative??? Fuck man I am pissed.
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God I just feel so fucking angry.
I’m in a lot of fandoms, and every one, every single one, is sexist. Every piece of media I consume, every show, book, movie—it’s sexist.
I like some more than others—Fairy Tail gives all but one grown woman huge chests, and deliberately makes her insecure about it; Wendy and Chelia are a little weird as the 12-year-old girl trope in anime; Lucy almost always fights female antagonists—and I love those shows, I do. I adore them. I watch and rewatch and I love the stories, up until certain days when I just can’t take it.
I hate having to settle. I hate that, when I talk about Fairy Tail, it feels like I’m justifying the sexism with “oh, it’s not too bad.” I have to compare it. MHA is worse, obviously; fewer female characters, fewer female powerhouses. But with Fairy Tail I still have to settle.
There are many main powerful female characters, yes. But the male-female ratio is obvious. The Oracion Seis only has one woman, and she’s mostly there to parallel Lucy. Phantom Lord had only one woman. Grimoire Heart has only one woman and a teenage girl.
There’s only one female dragon slayer (not including Irene), and she’s twelve. I could go into her and Chelia’s and Mavis’ (and honestly Meldy’s) whole thing as the young, innocent girl tropes all over anime but I don’t want to-
Female powerhouses? Erza, Ultear (antagonist), Minerva (antagonist)…??? Juvia??? Cana? Mavis (dead)?
I wouldn’t count Sorano and Yukino in the powerhouse section. I might count Lucy, but given how much time she spends in the earlier seasons needing to be rescued it’s a little weak.
But male powerhouses? Natsu, Gray, Makarov, rock guy, Laxus, Jellal, Gajeel, Hades, Acnologia, Zeref, fire god guy, lightning god guy, memory guy, I really should’ve rewatched the show before making this post,
My point is—it’s an obvious gap. And yet I view fairy tail as one of the most gender balanced anime. It feels so much better.
A big part of that is their characters. Every female character is treated with the same dignity as the male characters. No matter how sexualized they may be, they are people. They each have backstories as deep as the men.
And I am so so angry that that’s a factor here. I want to be properly pissed about how they treat Lucy, I want to get mad at the unrealistically big boobs—but fairy tail is comparatively such a good show for gender equality.
I don’t know what the point to this was. I’m just upset.
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It’s 5:30 on Day 3 of 4 of my break…and I still haven’t done crap! I’ve just been sitting around playing video games!
And yeah, I know, it’s break, and it’s like “well at least you’re taking time off from your schoolwork!” No! I’m not! I am not doing anything different from what I do normally, it’s just that I don’t have classmates and my roommate’s out of town!
And I told myself I was going to take this time to actually work on things, like watching videos about Physics so I can actually understand it before my second exam on Friday and so I don’t bomb it like I did my last one, or to take the time and do my 3 Physics homework’s due on Wednesday, as well as actually do my Engineering homework (also due on Wednesday) for once since I haven’t done any of them yet, and we’re gearing up to halfway through the semester
And I can’t even say I’ve been productive from a creative standpoint! That drawing I did earlier has been all I’ve drawn this whole, and I haven’t thought of much in terms of new stories and characters either. I’ve just been playing video games and watching random internet videos, effectively wasting all this precious free time I’ve been granted
And chances are, considering it’s all gonna be stacked on Tuesday, and knowing myself, I’m not gonna do much on Tuesday either, meaning this entire fall break will have been a total waste!
I hate that I’ve become so goddamn lazy! I wasn’t even this bad last semester, because at least then I cared, even if it made me feel horrible. I can’t even be bothered to answer texts or read something someone sent me days ago. And I’m not like, going through anything, I’m just being lazy!
Sorry I need to rant about my stupid, stupid brain
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Random thing, but I think killers and survivors are equally salty. As a person who mains survivor’s and killer’s, I get salt from both sides. Camping and tunneling isn’t an offense, if you have like 2 gens done and have no hooks I think it’s necessary. Tunneling too if you have like 2 gens and 0 hooks. I just thought about this while playing against a dredge,,, sooo yeah. I’m gonna head to bed it’s like 5:00 AM and I’ve been grinding with Chris and Myers.
oh yeah i’m a salty ass bitch on survivor and i’ll admit it. i got hella anger issues playing this game but i’ll never go out of my way to negatively message someone. it’s been.. maybe 2 years since i’ve gotten a salty killer message. but man i get more salty survivor messages than ANYTHING.
honestly i do think both sides are equally salty, but survivors are so much more likely to actually message you. i was actually just about to post about two messages i’ve gotten today from a survivor duo because i didn’t save all game. yes, that sounds bad, but my friend was saving them while i did gens. each time i asked him if he would save and he said he would. i’ll take full responsibility and say that i rlly only took chase like 2 times but i was on gens but tbf i was trying to break up the 3 gen. and just because the duo’s e-kitten died bc it didn’t rlly cross my mind to save her in endgame (how dare i make a simple mistake) they both messaged me instead of going next. like i genuinely don’t get the point of being so mad that you have to go out of your way to message someone. get mad at me, sure. but just go fucking next.
yeah i made a mistake but who fucking cares !! it’s 3 in the damn morning who actually cares about what they’re doing right and wrong
anways yeah i agree in the aspect that killers and survivors are both salty. killers hit on hook, camp, tunnel, slug over survivor surviving, survivors using a perk, survivors helping their team, survivors doing their objectives, survivors using a flashlight, survivors not dying, etc as well as survivors getting pissed when a killer kills, uses a perk, is good, uses an addon, uses their power, plays a character, etc. it’s crazy
like nobody in this game is ever not mad at something it’s crazy (it’s me i’m that person)
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