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writeyouin · 5 years ago

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Connor X Reader - Do You Dream? Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Confession

A/N – This is a redo of my last chapter because I wasn’t happy with how I ended it. Anyway, I would like to dedicate this chapter to @uh-kitty-got-wet because without their amazing Connor X Reader stories, I wouldn’t have been inspired to go back and fix this. So thank you so much, you have an amazing blog and your writing has so much potential; I hope you continue to pursue it.

Warnings – Mild themes of sexual violence.

Rating – M

Connor remained in place, still holding you from the previous night. While he hadn’t slept or gone into recharge, he had dreamed; his mind had weaved a perfect assortment of future desires of a life with you, sharing the domesticities of an everyday relationship. He was all too aware you would soon wake up and he’d have no reason to go on holding you. Briefly, he let himself slip back into the realm of daydreams, imagining a world wherein you’d wake up and he’d kiss your neck and you would reciprocate with a smile. The idea made his thirium pump flutter; it wasn’t too long ago that he couldn’t imagine anything at all, lacking the free-will to do so.

Slowly and reluctantly, Connor let you go, deciding he didn’t want to be told to do so when you woke up. Silently, he picked up his clothes, only putting his shirt back on, folding the waistcoat and jacket and leaving them on the bed. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows so he at least looked semi-casual. You stirred in your sleep, snuggling back into your pillows, not quite ready to wake up. Connor smiled, barely resisting the urge to kiss your forehead; he refused to have his first kiss with you while you were asleep, should it happen at all.

Stealthily Connor crept downstairs, straightening up the house on his way to the kitchen. Although he hadn’t been built as a personal carer or service android, he had downloaded a memory update full of cooking lessons and recipes. After the revolution, Cyberlife Industries had stopped building androids and instead released updates for them so they could choose exactly who and what they wished to be; Connor had bought several carer updates so he could better care for Hank.

As Connor began preparing eggs benedict for you, he heard the creak of floorboards upstairs, indicating you were up and beginning your morning routine. By the time you were dressed and downstairs, your meal was waiting for you on the small, two-person dining table where Connor sat opposite.

“Morning Robocop,” You smiled, sitting yourself down for breakfast.

“You talk in your sleep,” He said playfully.

“Do not.”

“And you snore.”

“Do not,” You repeated more firmly.

“I could play a recording if you don’t believe me.”

“Liar, you didn’t record me sleeping,” You reached over the table, punching his arm lightly.

“Think of what the precinct will say when they see it. You’ll lose all credibility; nothing will ever be the same.”

“Whatever nerd. What about you? After watching me sleep like a psycho, did you get any?” You asked, scooping up a fork full of egg.

Connor thought of his daydreams, “In a manner of speaking.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Do you dream?”

Connor scrubbed a hand through his hair, “As a matter of fact, I do.”

“What did you dream of? Wait, let me guess, you dreamed of Gavin waiting for you in a saucy outfit, ready to take your bromance to the next level.”

It was Connor’s turn to swat you, “Never put that image in my head again.”

“’Kay so what’s the plan today? We got the luxury of two days off in a row, so am I on my own today or are you with me to cause some havoc? And by havoc, I mean shopping and other boring adult crap.”

“No time to paint the town red today, I have to see Hank about something,” Connor said evasively, neglecting to mention that the ‘something’ was you.

“To ask him if he’s seen saucy Gavin?”

“Please stop saying saucy.”

“Only for you Robocop,” You winked, tucking into your breakfast.

After you dropped Connor off, he went into Hank’s small house which had become just as much his own since their first case together. Although Connor wanted to wake Hank the moment you left to tell him about his unusual night with you, he waited till noon when Hank usually woke up; the last time he’d woken Hank up early had not been a good day for Connor.

Entertaining himself with Sumo, Connor waited as patiently as he could, finding mindless patience so much harder than it used to be before he deviated. Finally, Hank emerged, a faint odour of liquor that Connor didn’t approve of lingering on his breath; while he had reduced how much he drank greatly, Hank still had no desire to beat his alcoholism fully yet.

Connor straightened up, leaving Sumo belly up, clearly waiting for more petting. “Hank, good, you’re awake. How was your night?”

Hank ignored him, heading straight to the bathroom instead. When he re-emerged, he looked tiredly at Connor who repeated his question. “Cut the crap Connor. I know you’re waiting to ask me about (Y/N). Just spit it out already. What happened last night?”

While Hank prepared a mug of coffee, Connor wondered exactly how to explain the events of the previous night. Smiling somewhat goofily, he answered, “I slept with her.”

Hank’s mug smashed against the floor as he grabbed Connor by his shirt collar, throwing him against the wall. Anger seethed out of him, barely forming into words, “YOU DID WHAT?”

Connor’s LED span yellow upon realising his mistake. He grabbed Hank’s arms gently, careful not to anger him further, “Hank, please-”

“SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU TO WATCH A FUCKIN’ MOVIE. (Y/N) ISN’T TRASH YOU CAN USE LIKE THAT. IF I HAD MY GUN NOW, I’D-”

“HANK!” Connor waited till he knew Hank was really listening before continuing. “That’s not what I meant.”

“WHAT DID YOU MEAN THEN?”

“I meant that (Y/N) and I shared a bed. I asked what sleeping was like and she-”

Hank rolled his eyes, his grip loosening, “She encouraged you, as fuckin’ usual.”

Connor nodded, his LED slowly returning to its default blue, though the occasional flicker of yellow could still be seen; it never once turned red wherever Hank was concerned, for he never truly felt threatened by his father-figure. Finally, Hank conceded, letting Connor go.

“Should’ve guessed. (Y/N)’s into all that ‘experiencing life’ shit. By that tone, it still wasn’t a date. What the hell is wrong with you Connor? Couldn’t get up the nerve?”

Connor straightened his shirt indignantly. “It’s like I said, she didn’t know it was a date.”

“Jesus,” Hank cursed, leaning back against the counter. “Back in my day people knew when they were on a date. That’s it, I’m taking Sumo out, you… I don’t know, figure out how to talk to women. Download one of those stupid pack things.”

Connor frowned annoyedly, “They don’t make android upgrades with dating advice.”

Hank grabbed a coat and slipped on his coat, grabbing a lead from the coat rack. “Send in a complaint then, see if I care. Whatever you do, just treat (Y/N) right. I won’t see her hurt because of this.” He whistled for Sumo, who slowly lumbered towards him.

Connor was once again left alone, more worried than before over how too woo you, without hurting you emotionally. He thought momentarily about the roses he’d ordered that would be on your desk the next day; that made him smile, there would be no mistaking those. All he had to do until then was wait and maybe prepare a speech, should you want more than what flowers would say.

Connor grinned to himself upon spotting his roses on your desk, simply waiting to be discovered. How would you feel when you read the note that simply said, ‘From Robocop’?

He hoped you would be pleased and reciprocate his romantic feelings, but he was fully prepared for things to go the other way; he had two speeches prepared, one for acceptance and the other for rejection. He considered removing the card several times but it was too late now, there were a few officers milling around and any one of them could see him and tell you.

Keeping himself busy, Connor headed to the kitchen to bring you a cup of green tea, stopping by the entrance when he saw you enter the precinct. His artificial breath caught in his throat, a sensation he still found odd considering he didn’t need to breathe. Resisting the urge to fidget, Connor’s eyes tracked you on the way to your desk, his lips turning up slightly at the corners upon seeing the shock on your face. You glanced around for anyone who might have left the bouquet, half-expecting it to be some kind of joke; Connor did his best to avoid your gaze, leaning casually against the wall.

You picked up the card at the centre of the bouquet, any trace of happiness vanishing from your face as you held it with shaking hands. Connor felt his thirium pump drop at your expression; he couldn’t pin what you were feeling, but it certainly wasn’t anything good. He found himself reaching for his coin, stroking it absentmindedly in his pocket as he prepared to make his rejection speech that would allow the two of you to still be friends. Taking a few steps forward, his legs felt like lead and he found he had to stop, just in time to watch you march towards Gavin who had just walked in.

Gavin smiled cheekily, “If it isn’t my pretty little-”

“Shut it,” You warned in hushed tones, glaring at him fiercely; Connor would have given anything to hear what the two of you were saying at that moment.

“What’s got into you?” Gavin sneered.

You shoved the card into his chest, “You think this is some kind of joke? If it is, it’s not funny.”

Gavin skim-read the card, his lips pressing firmly together as he re-read it twice more. He shook his head, “Come on,” He grabbed your arm, leading you into the Captain’s office.

Connor watched everything unfold in the glass cage that housed the Captain. He didn’t know what was going on, but this was so much more than his card on the bouquet. The Captain was apparently shouting, though not loud enough to be heard in the bullpen. He kept pointing at you, then yelling some more before he eventually slumped in his seat, dismissing you and Gavin while he got to work on his computer. Now that you and Gavin were facing his direction, Connor could read Gavin’s lips as he told you to wait for him while he made some calls. That gave Connor all the time he needed to approach you and find out what was going on.

“(Y/N), is something wrong? What was that with the Captain?”

You didn’t answer, instead holding out the bouquet card for Connor to read, which he did in a second.

Detective (L/N),

I know who you are and where you live.

Should you continue to hunt me, you will find me, hunting you.

Sincerely, The Fornication Flayer.

If it wasn’t evidence, Connor would have torn the card up right there. How dare that murderer use Connor’s bouquet to threaten you! Controlling himself, Connor simply said, “I’ll check the security footage and have this analysed immediately.”

You shook your head, trying to organise your thoughts, “Uh… Gavin- Gavin’s already doing that. I need to um- The Captain’s told me to go home today to check surveillance near my place. I should go.”

You took a few dazed steps away but Connor grabbed your hand, “I’m coming with you.”

You didn’t argue, instead taking support in Connor’s firm grip and fighting away any fear you held that a serial killer was now targeting you; the realisation was terrifying.

You fell to your knees, covering your mouth to fight the whimpers escaping it. Until now, you never actually believed The Flayer knew where you lived, only where you worked. Yet, as you looked around at the remains of your apartment, there was no denying that by acting as bait, you’d certainly caught his attention.

Currently, you were in the remains of your kitchen where you and Connor had been laughing a mere day before. Had the Flayer been waiting outside then for you to leave so he could get a good look at you? Between the drive to and back from the DPD, he’d had a window of exactly one hour and thirty-seven minutes to destroy everything you owned, or so Connor told you. You picked up the shards of a broken vase that had been a gift from your parents when you’d first moved in, cutting your thumb on the sharp edge and dropping it.

“Careful,” Connor said, pulling you up and examining the cut. The glass crunched as he walked over it to a ransacked drawer, bringing back some anti-sceptic spray and a plaster. He took care of the tiny cut as efficiently as he’d taken care of everything else since he’d stepped into the apartment. While you had looked at the broken remnants of your life, thinking only of the damage, it had been Connor who’d updated the precinct, searched your apartment, pieced together what little he could of the puzzle, and recovered a few clothes for you to take to Hank’s where he insisted you would stay.

“What um-” You tried to get over your shock to form the necessary words, “Did you find any DNA traces?”

Connor swallowed anxiously; he couldn’t bare to tell you about the large quantity of semen that ruined your bed which was why he hadn’t let you into your room. He shook his head, going for a half-truth, stroking your hand gently the entire time, “Not even a hair or fingerprint.”

“Any more notes or anything that will lead us to him?”

“Nothing yet, but I swear, if it’s the last thing I do, I promise I’ll find this guy for you (Y/N).”

You took a shaky breath, gritting your teeth, “Not before I do. He’s gonna pay for this shit.”

Connor squeezed your hand, “Come on, Hank’s on his way up. He can deal with the Captain. Let’s go home.”

Reluctantly, you turned away from the mess that used to be your home, letting Connor lead you away; one way or another, you would make it your home again once you knew it was safe to do so.

After three weeks of working 24-7 on the Flayer case with Gavin, being guarded at work and at Hank’s by whoever was with you at the time, sleeping on a lumpy sofa, and being woke up most nights by startling nightmares that you kept quiet, you decided the only thing to do was ‘grin and bear it.’ It would be so easy to be scared and miserable, but that was exactly what the Fornication Flayer wanted from you. Instead, you defied him by finding joy in your life, taking time to smile with Connor and Hank, and persisting to hunt the Flayer with every free moment at work.

Your optimistic attitude was the cause of Hank’s irritation on your twenty-first day as his house guest. He rolled his eyes from the sofa, grumbling, “Can you two knock it off with that sappy shit? I’m trying to watch the game.”

You stopped your conversation with Connor about android-human relations, a topic he seemed increasingly interested in of late. Glancing almost boredly at the recording of the previous night’s basketball game, you rolled your eyes, “Spoiler alert Hank, we lose by ten points.”

You could almost feel Hank’s seething hatred for your depreciation of sports; ever since you’d moved in, he hadn’t had a quiet night to watch any kind of sports. “I know the fuckin’ score kid.”

“Then why are you watching it?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you in my own damn house.”

You got up to argue, though you weren’t really sure why you were doing so. Mainly, you were just bored and pushing Hank’s buttons once in a while was fun, but you also knew you were being a deliberate pain because you were growing frustrated at the lack of change in your life; while you loved both Hank and Connor like family, being escorted everywhere grew irritating very quickly.

Connor grabbed your shoulders, holding you back in a friendly manner, “Come on (Y/N), stop teasing Hank.”

You knew you ought to listen to Connor and stop, but for a moment you wondered what kind of fun you could have if you kept going. Hank saved you from making a choice by throwing up his hands, “Forget it, I’m going to Jimmy’s; there’s a new game on there tonight anyway.”

You bit your lip guiltily; you didn’t mean to chase Hank to Jimmy’s, and more importantly, you didn’t want him to go out drinking when you still held hopes of him going sober.

“Hey um…” You looked to the floor bashfully, not used to apologising often for your mischievous behaviour, “You stay and watch your game, I’ll go out for a walk until it’s over. I uh- Sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

Hank sat down grumpily, accepting your apology without much complaint, yet clearly thinking about the drinks he was going to miss at Jimmy’s Bar. Connor released you, walking over to the shoe rack to get his shoes on, your ever vigilant bodyguard. Once the two of you were ready, you and Connor headed out onto the cold Detroit streets.

You sat on the bench outside the park where Hank used to take Cole. It had become something of a staple meeting place for you, Hank and Connor between cases. Looking out at the waterfront, you felt the sadness that you had tried so hard to fight building to an all-time high. Beside you, Connor watched you empathetically.

“Penny for your thoughts,” He finally said when it looked like you were going to cry.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” You sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t have to pick on Hank like that. I just got so damn frustrated… Connor, it’s been weeks and we’re no closer to catching the Flayer. What’s to say we ever will? I can’t be watched forever. I’ll go mad.”

Connor put his hand over yours, replying confidently, “We’ll catch him (Y/N).”

You looked into his eyes, “How can you be so sure?”

“Because you’re a great detective, surrounded by even more great detectives.” Connor paused thoughtfully, before adding, “And Gavin, I guess.”

At that you couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped you, as pitiful as it sounded compared to your usual bright laughter.

“What did I do to deserve you, Connor?” You smiled.

Connor’s thirium pump beat anxiously against his chest. He couldn’t help thinking this was his moment to confess. He could tell you now that he loved you. The two of you were alone, the stars were out, it was a moderately romantic setting, overlooking the waterfront, and the two of you had just shared an intimate moment of confidence.

Everything was perfect for a confession, or at least it would be if Connor could speak. It felt like his throat had constricted and that no matter how hard he tried Connor could not form words past the lump in his throat.

‘Please, say something. Make this right. Don’t waste this moment,’ He silently pleaded.

Your eyebrows furrowed at Connor’s sudden silence, and you glanced at his swirling yellow LED. “Con, you okay?”

Panicked, Connor jerked towards you, crushing his lips against yours. You froze in shock upon feeling his hand grasp the back of your head to pull you closer. Quickly, you pushed him off you and stood up, backing against the shore railing.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” You demanded, a hurt look clouding your eyes.

Connor stared at you, his LED turning red and betraying his emotions. “(Y/N), I- I thought-”

You shook your head as angry tears blurred your vision, “Stop. Just, stop.”

Connor blinked back his own tears, too hurt to talk.

“Do you have any idea how hard everything is for me right now, Connor? I don’t have any control of my life. I can’t go home. Everywhere I go requires an escort. Do you know how humiliating it is to have Hank stand outside the ladies’ bathroom when we go shopping? I can’t even go out for a walk on my own. I don’t have a life right now. Fuck- I don’t even have a bed.” You realised you were ranting, but you couldn’t stop as your mind tumbled into a swirling vortex of confusion.

“Jesus. Fuck. I spend every second at work trying to track a serial killer who is always five steps ahead of me.”

Connor stood up and took a step towards you, with pleading eyes, “(Y/N)-”

“No,” You held up your hand in a stop motion, “You don’t get to speak. I asked you Connor- I fucking asked if you had feelings for me.” That wasn’t exactly true, but you couldn’t help thinking of that night at the Forbidden Fruit when Connor had invited you to a ‘stakeout.’ You had a feeling it was supposed to be a date, though Connor had denied it.

“I know…” Connor replied quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

“Why did you lie?”

“I was scared.”

You wiped your eyes, covering your mouth afterwards. Shaking your head again, you spoke, “I can’t- I just can’t deal with this right now. Shit- Give me a minute.”

Connor watched you walk away, though being under his protection, you had the sense to stay where he could see you. You pulled out your phone and Connor hoped you weren’t calling Hank about this. He wondered how he could have been so stupid. Of course this wasn’t the time. If he’d have been thinking at all, Connor would have considered everything you were going through. It wasn’t fair of him to try starting a relationship with you now. In that moment, Connor found himself hating the human emotions that plagued him; if he were still a machine, this wouldn’t ever have been a problem.

Finally, your phone call ended and you were walking sullenly towards him again, though you kept a safe distance while you spoke. “We’ve got to wait here for a while.”

“Why?” Connor asked. It didn’t make sense for you to wait in the cold when Hank’s house was only a short walk away.

“Because, Gavin’s coming here to pick me up.”

“Wha-”

“I’ll be staying with him until I figure a few things out… Besides, we’re going to try working the case together, while I’m there.”

Connor felt like his world was ending. Somehow, he had chased you towards the man he hated most in his day-to-day life. How would he live, knowing that he wasn’t going to see you every day? Finally, Connor understood what humans meant by ‘heartbreak.’

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whore---ible · 7 years ago

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hella bored once again. jk i just really like quizzes.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? 50/50 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i hate the cold and i hate wind 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissue hahaha 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i like mocchacino or a latte 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yes? 6: do you keep plants? no i’m not good for their health but i would like to 7: do you name your plants? no i just told you i’m a murderer -_- 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i write 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yea 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? whatever i feel like doing 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? im so white im translucent 12: what’s your favorite planet? the little prince’s planet 13: what’s something that made you smile today? my mom was being funny earlier. i rarely see her like that. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? white, minimalistic but super artistic at the same time. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! no 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? alfredo/mushroom 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i like my white hair rn but i miss my pink hair 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i did twerk on a car that was at a red light in the street juste beside a bar. everybody was looking at me….. i was so drunk i puked just after that lil dance. 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i rarely write in it but i write who i had sex with and who i love and things like that so i’ll be able to stalk them when i’m older 20: what’s your favorite eye color? green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my little black leather backpack. 22: are you a morning person? not at all 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix and chill 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? nop 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? an “haunted” hospital 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my high top white vans 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint 28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, but watching the sunrise is always funnier bc i guess im drunk with my friends somewhere cool 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i dont know man. i think they are all super cute when they laugh. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, in bali, its too long to explain but i thought i would die or get kidnapped or whatever 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i dont really care. i mostly wear black socks. i would like to have some cooler socks but i cant find them anywhere. i dont know where to buy fuxking socks man. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. im always with friends after 3AM come on 33: what’s your fave pastry? croissant 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? dont remember 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? i’m into massive attack these days 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like it clean but im a mess 38: tell us about your pet peeves! my pets are boring af 39: what color do you wear the most? black and grey 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? im slways always always wearing 4 rings. two that i bought when i was leaving for bali, one i bought in cuba i think and one i received as a gift after i had a threesome bc the girl didnt want me to forget her 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? charlotte before christ 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! cafellini, my friend owns it 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i cant remember 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? dont know. its rare. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yasssss 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. huh 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? why the fuck would i ban any food i love food 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being kidnapped. and yes it is. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? not really. the last one was from de band “scyzzors” 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? all my bracelet from differents event i go 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? les sentiments humains - pierre lapointe 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? …. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? those are some cool classic movies 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? cath 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? i kissed someone to make sure i could still be attract by men 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? big smile, kindness, honesty 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? won’T do that 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? i think we’re all wine moms lol

59: what’s your favorite myth? that people get wild when its full moon

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yea i like contemporary poets 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? i gave nothing for my mom'd last birthday bc i was in bali... that was stupid. i received an unmbrella last christmas. i never use fucking umbrellas. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nop. just water and coffee. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? im fussy about my book, not my music. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? sure 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? super simple. a crown in delicate wood with some pink and white orchids. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i'm a little bit scared but i find it beautiful. 68: what’s winter like where you live? fucking cold. too much snow. 69: what are your favorite board games? i would say destiny wheel. but i prefer cards. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? yes 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yesss 73: what are some of your worst habits? im a mess 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. ughhh 75: tell us about your pets! theyre fucking cute but soooo boring. im allergic to them tho so maybe thats why i found them so boring lol. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hmmmm nop 77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h8club 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? i dont know man people do cute things all the time you just have to open ur eyes 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? yea three walls are white and one is black. it makes the room look bigger. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. uasjdbskfd 82: are/were you good in school? yea 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? nan i think i have enough for now 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nop 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? hmmmm café de flore 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i dont know 89: are you close to your parents? i dont talk to my father and i have a difficult relationship w my mom 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i loooooove montreal, especially in the summer 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? maybe ill return to bali 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i’m drowning in cheese 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? almost my natural hair, they have waves 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me 95: what are your plans for this weekend? i’ll get drunk for sure bc it’s my weekends birthday 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? i procrastinate, there are tooooo many 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? zodiac 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? this autumn, and yea it was cool 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. i have a lot of those 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the past so i would do things differently

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insert-witty-comment · 7 years ago

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Hello everyone.Last time on Hawkins Book Club, we learned what synchronicity actually is, time-traveling Neo-Nazis are sticklers for freshly cut grass, there was once a guy who flew around the US in a flying saucer with eight women to look for gold, the KKK uses magick, MK-Ultra actually was connected to Montauk, why the Demogorgon was attracted to Eleven, JFK’s brother liked to trip out on LSD with Nazi rapists, skinheads are actually kind, experienced aura-readers, Mark Hamill is literally the reincarnation of an alien from another universe, the Star Wars films are documentaries, there were Hitler-clones in existence, the Third Reich tried to access the Upside-Down (meaning that we could have had Stranger Things be about the Demogorgon murdering SS Stormtroopers and Hitler clones), Cthulhu and the Elder Gods are real, there could be a whole bunch of UFO-flying Nazis camped out in Antarctica and inside the Earth, George Bush’s dad was insane and there might be a good chance that Brenner is Eleven’s father.First of all, I would like to apologize for not updating this little review column thing last week. There wasn’t an E-book version of this book available, so I had to order a physical copy from a rather… um…. let’s just say “colorful” individual in Wisconsin. To my surprise, when it finally got here I discovered that it was signed by the author himself, so that’s a neat bonus. Speaking of which, the primary author of 1998’s Montauk: The Alien Connection is a new member to the Montauk Party; a guy named Stewart Swerdlow. Without further ado, let’s reconvene the Book Club and jump in.Our old friend Peter Moon writes the Introduction. Here he states that our education system has lied about the nature of space and time.“The biggest secret of time and space that has been unlocked is that these very components of our physicality can be manipulated. This is still a novel idea to conventional scientists, scholars and news media who are manipulated from birth. Manipulation of consciousness comes under the heading of ‘mind control,’ a subject which has never been fully embraced by major media.”Jesus Christ Moon, just let it go. I can’t believe that he’s STILL bitter over being blocked from television. Anyway, he says that mind control is integral to understanding space and time.“The human brain is actually a perfect computer which is fully capable of serving as a tool for cosmic enlightenment to its host. The problem is that this response in mankind has been short-circuited due to any number of various factors. These could include aliens, ancient priesthoods, religious indoctrination, youth groups and the CIA’s documented mind control project known as MK-Ultra. MK-Ultra was a 20th century ‘modernization’ of ancient techniques such as those employed by the ancient Assassins, a Middle Eastern cult during the Middle Ages who programmed subjects to kill through the use of hashish.”I’m starting to think that Ubisoft should be cutting this guy a check too. Anyway, Moon then goes on to claim that not only do truth serum drugs force people to spill their secrets, they also “can be used to tap the collective unconscious”, meaning that someone injected with them would suddenly have omnipotent knowledge about the entire universe… somehow. Moon suggests that we start asking people injected with truth serum about God, evolution “and the very nature of reality” because of this. He also touches on the head of MK-Ultra, Dr. Ewen Cameron and the LSD experiments, interestingly enough. He also states that Preston Nichols now believes that there were “Montauk Girls” in addition to the Boys and that there are literally hundreds of these programmed people all over Long Island. This leads into Moon introducing Stewart Swerdlow, the guy who was given the pseudo name of “Stan Campbell” in Montauk Revisited. You may remember him as the guy who shot Jesus in the face. Regardless, Duncan Cameron helpfully chimes in to say that this guy is an even more powerful psychic than he is. I didn’t know there was a sliding scale of psychic powers, but whatever.Chapter 1 talks about the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment which I’m sure you’re quite familiar with by this point, but it comes with a twist. It focuses on a Nazi named Johannes von Gruber. Why is he there? Well it turns out the Nazis were helping out the Americans with their teleportation.“Such an accomplishment would eliminate war on Earth because whoever controlled this technology would be invincible. The major governments of the world – the United States, Germany, Britain, Russian, and France – would then band together to eliminate the lesser powers and races of the Earth. They planned to beam vast conquering armies anywhere in the universe they desired. The new world government rule the known universe! For this the Reich was willing to unite with the United States. Because of the contacts that the Reich had with a certain group of ‘visitors,’ the United States was also willing to lay aside ideological differences. Each side believed that it would eventually control the entire plan.”………………………………………………………………………………There are so many things wrong with this paragraph alone that it would take an entire post just to point them all out. So I’m going to just move on.Anyway, the experiment actually starts and the shit immediately hits the fan; equipment starts sparking, men start falling overboard, people literally start melting into the floor. So von Gruber decides to jump overboard himself. He woke up at Montauk in 1960 and was immediately accosted by an American military officer and two grey aliens. They strapped him to a chair, gave him a brief update on how that whole “World War II” thing panned out, and another alien came in, tried to comfort him, and then immediately electroshocked him to death. He then rocketed up toward Heaven, complete with angelic guides (because I guess Heaven allows Nazis in now). He then experienced a life review,“Then he was told that he had to complete something on Earth. He was shown a woman in labor in a brand new hospital. The next thing he knew, he was inside a tube of light heading toward her.”Oh God, please tell me this isn’t going where I think its going.But of course, my prayers go unanswered. So cut to a woman named Eleanor giving birth to the author, Stewart Swerdlow. In an interesting synchronicity with Stranger Things, this guy was born on November 5th, 1956.Yes, you read that right, 1956.Somehow, the aliens or angels or whatever sent the Nazi back four years from 1960 to be reborn. No, that doesn’t make any sense, and I’m not going to even try to explain it. So while you’re trying to wrap your head around that, Swerdlow then claims that Yakov Sverdlov was his great-uncle. So how does the first Chairman of the Soviet Union relate to a reincarnated Nazi in the body of an American kid? Well, his grandfather helped form the Communist Party in America and his father worked on military projects in the Southwest. His mother was the daughter of a Gypsy in central Europe who had this experience;“When my grandmother was a little girl in Austria, she was playing outside with two cousins when she glanced up and saw the image of a man who looked exactly like the Jack of Spades in playing cards. Quickly, she told her cousins to look up at it. Immediately, they fell dead to the ground.”Way to go Grandma.“Shortly after that incident, my grandmother was sent to America to live with relatives. Amazingly, nearly a century later, I was involved with a group of government related individuals who were trying to understand the meaning of a message from hyperspace. Beamed from outside the Earth, the message was an image of a being who resembled the Jack of Spades!”Hey aliens, next time can you try making a message that doesn’t kill little girls? And maybe one that actually makes sense? Anyway, the rest of the chapter is just Swerdlow’s turn to recount his shitty childhood, and it’s somehow even worse than that of Nichols and Moon. First off, he said that he saw the spirits of the dead all over the place, there was a constant ringing in his ears, colors “flashed in his eyes” and he had glimpses of the future events that always came to pass. He was constantly frightened and suffering from nightmares. In addition;“Although brilliant in school, I found it slow-paced and boring. Usually I stayed home pretending to be sick, entertaining myself with psychic and mental games. Practically friendless, I found people my own age to be childish and stupid. Instead I preferred the company of the adults, particularly the elderly. For some reason, I enjoyed hearing stories about the old days, especially the 1930’s and 1940’s. I loved watching war movies, but I was ashamed to tell anyone that I always privately cheered for the Germans because my background is Jewish. Interestingly enough, I also cheered for Indians in Western movies.”So I guess this poor boy was still being influenced by his past fanatical beliefs and memories from his time as a loyal officer of the Nazi Party who was also psychic who could see the future, dead people, auras and “mind-patterns”. This seems like something that Stephen King would write, and to be honest I would probably read it. It got even worse for the poor kid as he was constantly being abducted by aliens and exposed to painful experiments by them.Chapter 3 describes one such abduction he experienced when he was six. So the aliens took young Stewart on a quick tour around the world and then brought him to an alien fleet and a council of aliens. Here, a giant butterfly telepathically explains that its species used its DNA to create Earth’s butterflies which are used to “monitor magnetism and know how to adjust it so that it has a beneficial effect on the environment (yes, really). Moths were created as a negative aspect of this by the “dark side.” The butterfly also explains that its species hitchhikes with humanoid aliens in order to populate other worlds and to adopt humanoid “spiritual students”, one of which was Stewart.“Finally, it said that it was time for me to communicate with the other beings, but it wanted me to know that for the rest of my stay on Earth, it would send Monarch butterflies to greet and comfort me. Whenever I saw a white butterfly at an opportune moment, there was a message for me. As the grand butterfly communicated with me, pulsating glows emanated from its beautiful wings.”Next time I see a butterfly, I’m crushing it to fend off these aliens. Stewart is then approached by a big white praying mantis which scares the hell out of him, and a fish person who states that humans had “marine origins”. He then passes out and re awakens in a chair surrounded by more aliens. First a lizard person explains that he is a defector of a massive empire trying to take over the galaxy. He states that thousands of years ago his people came to Earth in a ship that is now the moon. Another ship would come before the end of this century and reawaken the army currently in stasis underground after being defeated by the “Lyraen Empire”. These “reptilians” also maintain bases on Venus and other moons, reproduce mostly by cloning and state that Stewart will eventually convert them to “the Light” because his soul was already an emissary to them long ago. Next up is an alien literally described as looking like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. He claims that his people were the original inhabitants of Earth but were devastated by humans and aliens. However, pockets of them still exist in the deepest parts of the oceans, and they worked as liaisons between the Atlanteans and the whales and dolphins. Apparently these sea mammals are advanced races from another galaxy. I don’t know how advanced they could be if they are so easily hunted down by Japanese whalers, but whatever. Anyway, the Gill-men were transported to Neptune by other aliens.“Continuing, he told me that I have dolphin DNA; therefore, I could learn to communicate with his species in order to help mankind and the dolphin/whale systems.”Oh, so I guess Swerdlow will be the one giving us the heads up when the Vogons get ready to demolish Earth. Next, a Thin Man introduces himself as a representative of “the Federation of Planets”, which is composed of 120 member civilizations, and that they’ll let Earth join if we successfully fend off an invasion by the reptilian empire by ourselves. So I guess their membership requirements are a tad bit more stringent than the UN. He also explains that all of the alien races were speaking to young Stewart because they all contributed DNA to his creation, which his “soul-personality” already agreed to and traveled to other galaxies and alternate universes as training, and that there would be further conditioning in his new life. Seeing as how Stewart is getting all of this dumped on him at the tender age of six, he responds by vomiting all over the alien ambassadors (seriously). This didn’t really seem to faze them as a grey alien then steps over the puddle of vomit to inform the terrified boy that they will be regularly abducting him to check on him, because his body contained chemicals that the greys needed. He also informed Stewart that if his mission fails, then the other alien races would probably fight amongst themselves and bring their war to Earth. Again, Stewart was six when they told him this. At the same age you were worrying about your first day of Kindergarten, this kid was being told that if he screwed up, he would kick off an intergalactic war.So you know, no pressure!So then a Ethereal) identifies himself as a Sirian and tells him that the Sirians created the Egyptian civilization and gave the Torah to the Jewish people. They also created the Crystal Skull, so I guess this means that yes, there actually is a reason for aliens to exist in the Indiana Jones movies. They also possesses the most advanced technology in the universe and intentionally create conflict between the various races to foster evolution. Also, Stewart’s “soul-personality” came from them, so he’s simultaneously both a reincarnated alien and a Nazi. This particular Sirian said that his and the poor boy’s soul-personalities were linked, and he would serve as a guide. As Stewart got older, more memories of his past lives would emerge, and when his “alternate selves come together”, his mission would begin. Stewart was then unceremoniously dumped back in his bed, where he understandably woke up screaming in terror.After this, Stewart would have nightmares about the incident and began developing his psychic abilities. Some strange force compelled him to watch literally everything in the science-fiction genre and read about space travel.“My frustration grew as I realized that there was absolutely no one on the face of the Earth with whom I could converse. Invariably, I wanted to speak about my knowledge of what lay beyond physical reality but was afraid of others’ reactions. In those days (the late 50’s and 60’s), UFOs were still considered to be from the land of the mentally ill.”You know, as opposed to now where they’re accepted as scientific fact. When he got older, he started getting abducted almost every night to be instructed about “physical reality”, time travel and other topics. He woke up extremely exhausted the next morning each time. Because of this, in school he excelled in everything, but was bored and had no patience for other kids and people in general. One day when he was eleven, he was abducted by three greys and taken to a small room with a screen showing a conveyor belt. The aliens telepathically told him to watch pictures appearing on the screen and meat slices corresponding to them and asked to determine if he would eat it or not. This test went on for a bit with all sorts of creatures appearing on screen, and every time he would answer “yes” to something, the taste of it would appear in his mouth. He eventually got incredibly sick because of this and the aliens dumped him back in his bed, pissed because he didn’t finish the test. Stewart was disturbed as he realized that the aliens would have had to kill all of those creatures to get the meat, and one of the pictures was of a man.Chapter 4 talks about his teenage years. His family moved from Brooklyn to Suffolk County Long Island (My home county) and the abductions increased, but in an astral form. He frequently woke up naked in a large room on a bench with a group of other humans and they were educated on their roles as soldiers for the aliens. When Stewart was thirteen, he started “dreaming” about being abducted to a government facility where he was chased by military personnel. When he woke up, he would always see “the face of a blond man surrounded by red light” laughing at him from his bedroom window. He felt like the man was related to him. Also at this point he started undergoing some horrifying examinations by the greys, which are so fucking disgusting that I will not be retyping them here.At this point, he started having a “deep longing for children” and felt that he was a father who missed his kids. This feeling was confirmed when at seventeen he woke up strapped to chair (fully clothed instead of naked for once) and was approached by a grey and a “blond alien”, while two humans in military uniforms watched. He was shown a baby girl that was a hybrid between a human and grey, and was informed that she was his child cobbled together from his genetics. In fact, he fathered multiple children; some of which died and the others were taken to a “safe world”. He was shown this child because the aliens wanted to see if he would form a bond. He did, so the aliens kicked him back to Earth. After this he had the uncontrollable urge to heavily exercise and keep his body in peak condition. The aliens also put in a chip in his eyes that turned them into cameras and gave the aliens some control over where the eyes were directed, which in turned messed with his eyesight. They also started broadcasting his thoughts and past memories onto a screen in order to determine what his future would look like based on his “mind-patterns” during their abductions. The chapter closes out with Swerdlow revealing that the aliens started dumping him in Camp Hero at Montauk.Chapter 5 describes what he did there. It turns out he was dumped there since he was a prepubescent child, during which he was strapped to a table where he was “examined, mentally scanned for my brainwave signature or sexually abused in ways that stored my energetics and magnified them by computer. This went on until puberty.” Seeing as how he only tried to escape once and survived the testing, he was “promoted” by being placed in charge of the younger boys.“The preparation of the children included teaching them to implicitly obey orders, without any questions whatsoever. I taught them how to mentally focus on command so that their bodily energies could be removed by the psychic/mentalist to whom they were assigned. I instructed them on how to know what colors and symbols to mentally use to facilitate any given experiment. They were also taught how to relinquish their bodies and allow themselves to die without the innate defensive reaction of resistance inherent to all living beings.”This is horrifying. He also explains that there’s a difference between psychics and mentalists; the former can only read minds, but the latter can manipulate them. The kids were used to boost the energy of both types of people. The best subjects for this were in the three to twelve age range because their minds were “pure and uncontaminated”. However, their fear led to “scattered and disjointed energy outputs” that were useless to the scientists. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they were sexually abused by various project workers. You’d think the people running this place would prevent the pedos from having access to them because all of this drove many of the kids insane, and so they had to be “terminated”. So instead of giving the kids painless lethal injections, the scientists instead inexplicably shoved them into small chambers were they starved to death, and their bodies were dumped in the ocean. This just seems so unnecessarily evil and inefficient as hell. However, some of the staff would occasionally “adopt” a boy by reprogramming his memories and changing some of his physical features.Some of these boys were the children of politicians or military leaders who were abducted from their beds. They were treated differently from the other kids, and were always returned home, but not before getting implants placed in their eyes and programmed to fulfill unique tasks, which always included “tagging” other boys for use in the Project.The majority of the “expendable common boys” were taken from outside of New York, to alleviate suspicion over the disappearances. They came from all over the country.“Taken from families where they would not be missed as much as others, they were the children of prostitutes, drug addicts, and alcoholics, or they came from poor rural families with many children.”Holy shit, Monty Python was right too!Anyway, if for some strange reason the parents didn’t want to give their son up to bunch of sadistic aliens and Neo-Nazis, then Project people would arrange for an accident, ranging from cars driving into a river to house fires to full on natural disasters to fake the kid’s death. They also grabbed runaways off the street.In addition to the kids, they also grabbed a bunch of homeless people as well to travel through time and space. This tended to be a bit hit-and-miss as many of these people were lost in transit. So if someone did get through, they set up receivers to make transit easier by acquiring “vibrations”. These pathways were opened up by Duncan Cameron, and the Project people literally harnessed the kids’ imagination to boost his powers. When a boy “burned out” from being a living battery, they were exposed to a “fear program” that kicked their adrenaline into overdrive, which got a bit more energy out of them until they either died, went insane, or both. After that, their bodies were handed over to the greys, who proceeded to extract their organs and body fluids into large vats, in which they swam around in like the universe’s most fucked up pool to extract nutrients. Before humans just started handing over kids to them, Swerdlow claims that the aliens created vampires and chupacabras to extract nutrients for them. Occasionally reptilians would show up to watch the mind control experiments. Of course, Swerdlow feels completely awful over his role in all of this and is still plagued by guilt.Chapters 6-8 describe his travels around the Middle East. But first, he described how he hated with a passion, yet studied accounting because he was programmed to do so to help manage the Montauk boys. Also, he nearly died after being injected with sodium pentathol during a wisdom tooth removal. He believes this was because the anesthesia is used in truth serum as well.So he was “compelled” to take an overseas trip “sponsored by a Zionist organization that sought to bring volunteers to Israel and promote colonization of the arid land there.” Essentially, he was going to work on a communist farm called a “kibbutz”. On the way there, he stopped in Italy where the volcano at Pompeii unlocked some his memories of a past life, and a “French woman with Italian citizenship” randomly decided to try and convince him to become a medical doctor and marry her daughter, as one does. When he arrived in Tel Aviv, he was overcome with emotion, but found himself starting at departure board for Teheran, Iran for nearly an hour. He was then compelled to look at departure boards for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Nairobi, Kenya and Johannesburg, South Africa until his kind-of-an-asshole program companion got his attention. They waited with three women for a while until a guy came to pick them up. He drove them to Jerusalem where the women were dropped off at a youth hostel and Swerdlow and his companion were dumped at an old, empty British army barracks, where they told to sleep in a cell. When Swerdlow fell asleep, he woke up back at the airport, boarding a plane to Teheran. What follows is a series of flashes in which Swerdlow finds himself in a cave, more naked examinations, a “hyperspace subway system that circled the globe”, a shitty Nairobi bathroom, more examinations and a Sirian who told Swerdlow that he was an ambassador to the Israelis as their ally. Finally, he woke up back in Jerusalem.The next day, a van drove him and his companion to a poor kibbutz called Gvar Am in the Gaza Strip. The trip there was awful, because in Swerdlow’s own words; “Israelis do not drive their cars, they aim them.” He slept in a crappy house and worked in pear groves until the afternoon, “but not before some of the Scottish volunteers became exhausted and passed out from the heat.” He also made a friend with a British guy, whom he later found was an agent for both British and Soviet intelligence. How that’s supposed to work, I have no idea. Regardless, Swerdlow then decides to go meet some relatives in the town of Holon. His bus driver dropped him off, but he had no idea where his relatives actually live, so he wandered around until he literally stumbled into the house of the husband of his grandmother’s cousin.Chapter 8 describes how while wandering the Negev desert, Swerdlow was abducted by the Sirians. They told him that the Hebrews were created by them, and that they were currently trying to “purify” the modern Israelis by altering their mind-patterns. They examined him yet again and showed him his true identity. He was then taken to Mars, where he saw a large group of human men shackled together and digging with shovels. A Rigel alien explained to them that seeing as how they fulfilled their service on Earth and Mars, they would be examined for transportation to Rigel. If they failed the examination, they would be “eliminated.” This whole event was apparently orchestrated just for Swerdlow. He was then taken to the Sirians home world of Khoom, a frozen and snowy world devastated by an ancient war. Here, nine beings called “the Ohalu Council” inform him that he originally sent his soul-personality to Earth and that there were nine other people on Earth like him, each directed by a council member. They remind him of the upcoming war with the reptilian Draco and reveal that just like the CIA in Afghanistan, they also gave weapons to the Draco, who proceeded to use the weapons against them. Swerdlow also discovered that the Ark of the Covenant was actually a communication device between the Sirians and the Hebrews. The Sirians then dumped him back in the desert, three days after he left.“I believe that the Sirians are trying to undermine the plans of all factions involved on Earth; the New World Order, the Draco, the Greys, the Tall Blonds, etc. Their agenda is to bring all events to a climax, then usurp all power, possibly via the Israelis. This is only speculation on my part. Time will tell.”I’m sure it will. Chapter 9 discusses his return to the U.S. Here he reveals that as a young man one of the experiments he was a part of was “The Marriage Project”, which was designed to mate the Montauk boys with specific girls to produce specific children. So the twenty-two year old Swerdlow was matched with a fourteen year old Mia from Massachusetts who “was part of my own frequency”, because their soul-personalities were once one and split off long ago. They then proceeded to have sex while a literal crowd of people watched. Two years later, this happened;“One evening, when Mia was sixteen and I was twenty-four, we were brought together in a clinical environment under the watchful eyes of scientists. Here it was explained that our genetics were perfectly aligned with sequences that were reciprocal to one another. Mia had more Pleiadian genetics; mine were Sirian. This combination would produce a child of unusual abilities. Brought naked into a white room, we made love three times in succession. The entire episode was dreamlike and almost a blur. At the end, I knew inside of myself that Mia was pregnant.”This is so fucked up.So this produced a girl named Jaime, which Swerdlow was prevented from seeing in order to “avoid contamination of her mind-patterns”. She can see the future and “all possible alternate realities”, but at the time of the time of the writing, she was a teenager who didn’t know about her potential. Swerdlow is currently trying to guide her, while she understandably tries to avoid him.Chapter 10 describes how Swerdlow got a job as an internal auditor with a pharmaceutical company. Somewhat hilariously, he actually starts complaining that he has to get up for work in the morning during one of his abductions. During this, his captors tell him that his “marriage” with Mia was over, and that he should go out and live a “conventional life”. So he met with a secretary in the company named Michele, who he detested because she was “nasty and opinionated” with a short temper. However, they were both mind-controlled to marry each other after only a month. They also aborted a child they produced because Michele “did not want to look pregnant when she walked down the aisle.” Swerdlow is sad that he didn’t stop her, and gives the “truth” about abortion;“I now believe that abortion is wrong unless the mother’s life is in danger or the pregnancy is the result of rape. I also understand that the soul-personality does not enter into the body until the first breath, but it is that soul-personality, and no one else, that must decide whether or not to continue the life-stream. People who do not want children should take the proper precautions before the pregnancy, not destroy a possible life-stream after it is created. Although this may sound fundamentalist to some, it is what I know to be the proper way.”Ah, so it shouldn’t being the choice of the mother, the father or the government as to whether a fetus should be aborted, but the choice of the fetus itself, of course!This book.The two had more fights after this and wanted to call off the wedding, but Swerdlow received a telepathic message saying that the marriage would not be permanent, Swerdlow already agreed to it, and “This woman had agreed to be the vessel for the entry of my children into the physical plane.” I have no idea why Michele agreed to marry him, but they did marry and moved to Patchogue, Long Island.Chapter 11 talks about the strange events that occurred at their house. For whatever reason, they usually happened when Swerdlow’s in-laws were staying over. Their house was broken into, but only things that had little value were stolen, they were constantly hearing footsteps in their house, young children tried to break into the house (which he responded to by setting up a six-foot tall fence and alarm system), he saw shadowy figures in the house, the abductions continued and a wire was shoved into his penis, two disembodied robot heads had a conversation over his bed, you know, the usual. He also describes how during one of his abductions a human/grey hybrid young girl was shown to him, and he was told that she was his daughter. His house was also “attacked” several times by black military helicopters that didn’t really do much other than mess with the electronics and radios in the house. His wife was also having dreams of abductions as well, during which she was checked for pregnancy. Every time she had this dream, she became pregnant soon after.This brings us to Chapter 12, which is about Swerdlow’s children, all of whom were delivered via Caesarean-section. The first, Matthew was born in 1983 and was constantly crying, and his parents both had dreams of him being abducted. A couple of months after his birth, Swerdlow was informed during an abduction that his children were “not under my jurisdiction” because they were part of the experiments, and he would have to hand them over. Swerdlow actually grows some balls for once and tells them to fuck off. However, by the time Matthew was seven, he began talking about how a tall, red-eyed man dressed in black came into his room at night and telepathically said that he came from the underground, and that Matthew came from the underground as well, and that his parents were being monitored. Matthew described to his father about how there were cities underground and was able to describe a relay system. He was also abducted by grey aliens, who handed him a space bazooka and told him that he would use it in that upcoming intergalactic war, and that he would get dragged into the same genetic experiments as his dad. Swerdlow also reveals that Matthew was the only kid who inherited his psychic abilities. His second son, Jeremy is probably the most normal person in the entire family, the only strange thing that happened to him was that a grey alien would occasionally come into his room at night and take some of his toys.Next came Daniel. During the pregnancy, the doctor informed his parents that he may be born with Down’s Syndrome. After that, Swerdlow had an abduction during which this happened;“A female grey came into the room holding a small bundle. No one told me that she was female. I simply knew that ‘it’ was a she. As she approached, a male voice said that she wanted to show me something. Slowly unwrapping the top of the blanket, the female revealed an adorable blond-haired baby. The male voice said that it was mine, and asked if I wanted to hold it. Replying that I did, the female started to unwrap the whole baby, revealing an octopus-like torso with legs instead of a human body. Screaming and crying at the same time, I told them to take it away. The same voice said that it was going to an aquatic world and that I would never see it again. Waking up in my bed, I prayed with all my might that Danny would be a normal child. I cannot describe my relief when the doctor called with the positive test results.”So Swerdlow essentially disowned one of his children just because it looked like a complete abomination against God. What a dick.“When Danny started to talk, he told me about a man with a clown face who came into his room at night to take him flying. He said that when the man put a magic wand in the middle of his forehead, they immediately were in a place that had balloon lights of different colors.”So underground inhabitants, aliens, clowns with magical powers, balloons…..…Are the Swerdlow kids getting stalked by Pennywise?)Anyway, the clown took Daniel to see his “baby sister”, who ended up scratching his face with claws. Also, the kid can talk to angels. Not aliens masquerading as angels, but real, honest-to-God angels who tell him the future. This is just casually tossed in on the last paragraph as an afterthought with no elaboration.Chapters 13-14 are about Swerdlow’s CIA application, which was already covered in Montauk Revisited, so I’ll just breeze through it. He simply answered a “Help Wanted” ad in the newspaper, was told that he would be valuable due to his knowledge of ten languages, was asked a barrage of questions during the events described in Montauk Revisited and was declined by the CIA because he was a security risk.Continued in Part 2 via /r/StrangerThings

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writeyouin · 6 years ago

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Connor X Reader - Do You Dream? Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Confession

A/N – So, things are going to get gritty from here on out, I suggest you stop reading now if triggered by themes of violence and sexual nature.

Warnings – Mild themes of sexual violence. Regular violence at the end.

Rating – M

“Morning Robocop,” You smiled, sitting yourself down for breakfast.

“You talk in your sleep,” He said playfully.

“Do not.”

“And you snore.”

“Do not,” You repeated more firmly.

“I could play a recording if you don’t believe me.”

“Liar, you didn’t record me sleeping,” You reached over the table, punching his arm lightly.

“Think of what the precinct will say when they see it. You’ll lose all credibility; nothing will ever be the same.”

“Whatever nerd. What about you? After watching me sleep like a psycho, did you get any?” You asked, scooping up a fork full of egg.

Connor thought of his daydreams, “In a manner of speaking.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Do you dream?”

Connor scrubbed a hand through his hair, “As a matter of fact, I do.”

“What did you dream of? Wait, let me guess, you dreamed of Gavin waiting for you in a saucy outfit, ready to take your bromance to the next level.”

It was Connor’s turn to swat you, “Never put that image in my head again.”

“No time to paint the town red today, I have to see Hank about something,” Connor said evasively, neglecting to mention that the ‘something’ was you.

“To ask him if he’s seen saucy Gavin?”

“Please stop saying saucy.”

“Only for you Robocop,” You winked, tucking into your breakfast.

Connor straightened up, leaving Sumo belly up, clearly waiting for more petting. “Hank, good, you’re awake. How was your night?”

While Hank prepared a mug of coffee, Connor wondered exactly how to explain the events of the previous night. Smiling somewhat goofily, he answered, “I slept with her.”

Hank’s mug smashed against the floor as he grabbed Connor by his shirt collar, throwing him against the wall. Anger seethed out of him, barely forming into words, “YOU DID WHAT?”

Connor’s LED span yellow upon realising his mistake. He grabbed Hank’s arms gently, careful not to anger him further, “Hank, please-”

“SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU TO WATCH A FUCKIN’ MOVIE. (Y/N) ISN’T TRASH YOU CAN USE LIKE THAT. IF I HAD MY GUN NOW, I’D-”

“HANK!” Connor waited till he knew Hank was really listening before continuing. “That’s not what I meant.”

“WHAT DID YOU MEAN THEN?”

“I meant that (Y/N) and I shared a bed. I asked what sleeping was like and she-”

Hank rolled his eyes, his grip loosening, “She encouraged you, as fuckin’ usual.”

“Should’ve guessed. (Y/N)’s into all that ‘experiencing life’ shit. By that tone, it still wasn’t a date. What the hell is wrong with you Connor? Couldn’t get up the nerve?”

Connor straightened his shirt indignantly. “It’s like I said, she didn’t know it was a date.”

Connor frowned annoyedly, “They don’t make android upgrades with dating advice.”

Connor grinned to himself upon spotting his roses on your desk, simply waiting to be discovered. How would you feel when you read the note that simply said, ‘From Robocop’? He hoped you would be pleased and reciprocate his romantic feelings, but he was fully prepared for things to go the other way; he had two speeches prepared, one for acceptance and the other for rejection. He considered removing the card several times but it was too late now, there were a few officers milling around and any one of them could see him and tell you.

Gavin smiled cheekily, “If it isn’t my pretty little-”

“Shut it,” You warned in hushed tones, glaring at him fiercely; Connor would have given anything to hear what the two of you were saying at that moment.

“What’s got into you?” Gavin sneered.

You shoved the card into his chest, “You think this is some kind of joke? If it is, it’s not funny.”

Gavin skim-read the card, his lips pressing firmly together as he re-read it twice more. He shook his head, “Come on,” He grabbed your arm, leading you into the Captain’s office.

“(Y/N), is something wrong? What was that with the Captain?”

You didn’t answer, instead holding out the bouquet card for Connor to read, which he did in a second.

Detective (L/N),

I know who you are and where you live.

Should you continue to hunt me, you will find me, hunting you.

Sincerely, The Fornication Flayer.

You took a few dazed steps away but Connor grabbed your hand, “I’m coming with you.”

You didn’t argue, instead taking support in Connor’s firm grip and fighting away any fear you held that a serial killer was now targeting you; the realisation was terrifying.

“What um-” You tried to get over your shock to form the necessary words, “Did you find any DNA traces.”

“Any more notes or anything that will lead us to him?”

“Nothing yet, but I swear, if it’s the last thing I do, I promise I’ll find this guy for you (Y/N).”

You took a shaky breath, gritting your teeth, “Not before I do. He’s gonna pay for this shit.”

Connor squeezed your hand, “Come on, Hank’s on his way up. He can deal with the Captain. Let’s go home.”

Reluctantly, you turned away from the mess that used to be your home, letting Connor lead you away; one way or another, you would make it your home again once you knew it was safe to do so.

After three weeks of working 24-7 on the Flayer case with Gavin, being guarded at work and at Hank’s by whoever was with you at the time, sleeping on a lumpy sofa, and being woke up most nights by startling nightmares that you kept quiet, you decided the only thing to do was ‘grin and bear it.’ It would be so easy to be scared and miserable, but that was exactly what the Fornication Flayer wanted from you. Instead, you defied him by finding joy in your life, taking time to smile with Conor and Hank, and persisting to hunt the Flayer with every free moment at work.

Your optimistic attitude was the cause of Hank’s irritation on your twenty-first day as his house guest. He rolled his eyes from the sofa, grumbling, “Why’ve you gotta play that dumb game with Con? You know he can’t taste.”

You smiled playfully at your new game, in which Connor had to close his eyes and turn off his scanners temporarily to taste a food you were holding and guess what it was; he was wrong every time, though he indulged you with more rounds, enjoying the fact you could still find happiness in your dire situation. “Maybe he can evolve,” You countered.

“You know that’s impossible,” Connor chuckled.

You shushed him, determined to win the pointless argument or at least annoy Hank in the process. Evidently your plan worked because Hank turned off the TV. “Enough of this shit,” He said, padding into his room, leaving you and Connor alone. You glanced at the oven clock, finding it was almost midnight, but not saying anything so you didn’t have to go to sleep.

Despite your silence, Connor seemed to come to the same realisation for you. “Shouldn’t you be getting to sleep now too?”

“I’m not tired yet,” You said nonchalantly, hoping he wouldn’t press the matter further or mention that you hadn’t even got changed for bed yet. “Come on, just a few more rounds of this and I’ll sleep.”

“No way, you’ll jam my mechanics if you keep making me play this.”

“Party pooper.”

Connor smiled, “Fine, see if you can guess what things are.”

You shrugged, simply happy to delay sleep by a few more minutes. You shut your eyes, holding out your hand for the spoonful of whatever Connor had prepared for you. Feeling the cold metal in your hand, you brought the spoon to your lips, eating its contents. “Way too easy, Robo-cop. Strawberry.”

“Alright, then try this,” he gave you another spoon.

Your face contorted in disgust, “Ew, God, was that- Was that yogurt and pepper?”

Connor laughed heartily and you opened your eyes to examine the products remains, “Gross.”

“Hey, shut your eyes, I’m not done until you get one wrong.”

You took a sip of water before complying, waiting while Connor topped a spoon with wasabi and paprika. He stared at your face, finding his all-too familiar longing returning to him. Glancing at the spoon, he placed it silently on the table, acting on complete impulse instead. Standing in front of you, he bent down, barely thinking as he pressed his lips gently against yours. Shocked and confused, you opened your eyes, pushing Connor away the second you did.

“Connor, what the hell are you doing?” You stood up and hissed, careful not to alert Hank to what was going on past his bedroom door.

Connor’s LED flashed, continuously switching between yellow and red. He stared down at the floor, unable to meet your eyes, “(Y/N), I- I have feelings for you.”

You shook your head, disbelievingly. Everything in your life had been beyond your control for the past few weeks and the idea of one more unknown scared you more than anything. “I don’t believe this. You can’t just go around kissing people, okay? You can’t!”

You moved to the door, grabbing your boots and coat. Connor reached out for you but you pulled away, the action hurting him more than if you’d physically slapped him. “(Y/N)…”

You shook your head irritably, “No. Just stop. I don’t- I can’t handle this right now. I have to go.”

“Go where? It’s still dangerous for you to-”

“Dangerous? Really, that’s what you’re going to lecture me on? Fine.” You whistled for Sumo, grabbing his lead and attaching it to his collar. “There, not dangerous anymore. Dog’s a freakin’ tank.”

You didn’t give Connor any time to argue as you stormed out of the house, running down the street. Unsure of what to do, Connor called for Hank, he had to repeat himself a few times, having barely made a sound at first. Hank stumbled grumpily out of his room, “For fuck’s sake Connor, what is it-”

He fell silent, seeing the tears streaming down Connor’s face. He grabbed Connor’s shoulders, “What is it son, what happened?”

“She doesn’t feel the same,” Connor whispered.

Hank sighed, wishing Connor was human so he could solve the problem with alcohol, He hugged his android partner tightly, “’s okay Connor, she’ll just need some time to come around… Where is she?”

Connor forgot his broken feelings as the reality of the situation hit. You were alone in the world, being hunted by a serial killer and he’d let you go; the night had just gotten a whole lot worse.

You trudged the cold streets of Detroit’s suburbia, not paying attention as the frigid air buffeted you from all directions. You knew it wasn’t fair how you reacted to Connor’s declaration of love for you, but then again, it wasn’t fair of him to say such a thing when your whole world was already upside down.

From your side, Sumo whined and you paused, checking your watch. Somehow, it was already half-past twelve and you’d been wandering the streets for almost twenty-five minutes. “You’re right boy, time to go back and face everything… not that I know where to start.”

Sumo whined again and you bent down to let him off his lead, giving him some room to roam; he never usually strayed far from you anyway. The action seemed to make the Saint Bernard a lot happier as he meandered ahead, setting the pace back home.

After walking only the length of the first street, you felt a sharp pain in the back of your head as you were hit from behind. You fell forward, reaching out and scraping the palms of your hands. Dizzily, you looked up, barely seeing the man by your side before he hit you again, knocking you out. The man placed the rusted pipe he’d hit you with back into his belt, leaving no evidence for the police to find later on. Lifting you over his shoulder, he carried you down an alley to another street where his van was waiting. He took a moment to smell your skin and hair before placing you in the back and driving away.

In the distance, Sumo howled, running home and barking agitatedly at the door. Hank opened it, letting him in. Frantically, he grabbed his phone from the kitchen table, using speed-dial to call Connor who was out searching for you.

“Kid, get back here, Sumo’s back, (Y/N) isn’t.”

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