#and idk if he’s even free rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kasey-writes-stuff · 1 year ago

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Love waking up an hour and half before my first alarm is set to go off 🙃

#I wish I could talk to him 👉🏻👈🏻#but I fear I’ll fall asleep with typing #and idk if he’s even free rn #and with VC I could fall asleep then too #which tbh I wouldn’t mind falling asleep on VC with him #but idk if he’d wanna do that or not so #kasey speaks #gah feelings round 2?

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago

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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him #I always knew he was a parental figure for me #but now I connected the dots #How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life #that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so #and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life #ofc ud become attached #i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him #he occupies most of my thoughts honestly #But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life #i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an #bloom and be free #and that's what ill try to do #but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness #its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired #somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea #how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi #g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if #lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways #sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay #yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le #go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk #how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate #my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t #me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol #so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest #y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t #ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti #ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd

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jrueships · 6 months ago

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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,

or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs

#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing #like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally #it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday #now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand #but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's #the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs #so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians #but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them #i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun #n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now #everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it #ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing #like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn #& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing #idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase #i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro #sugar papi ted #hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it #but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing #i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake #but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same #like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno #if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose #i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like #im unwell when it comes to that #idk is anyone else like this #anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time #of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk #i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright

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revivisection · 2 years ago

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she's 39 he's 4000+ and they're having a slumber party (they squat in the same apartment)

two images of similar themes but very different styles because??? i honestly don't know

#my art #dishonored #the outsider #billie lurk #they hang out 👍#i hate drawing (still does it)#former outsider has yet to get any other clothes he has to make due with sleeping in his day clothes rn (<--lore)#friends come free with the flat :)#outsider neck scar one of my most beloved headcanons #billie's wearing a prosthetic liner (converted sock) in the first pic The Arm doesn't have a socket and also is magic but the strap would s #till chafe against her skin if she was wearing it w/out long sleeves #(<--more lore)#idk how it stays on even when she's wearing it over her jacket bc it's not fixed through sleeve loops or anything but. the arm is magic #so im gonna stop thinking about it now #just one more thing. the outsider is allegedy 5'6 according to a harvey smith tweet which is the same height as his dh2 va #and i have never seen anyone speculate on billie's height but going by va she'd be 5'7 #which is kind of funny. why is he so small (friendly fire) (words from a guy that's shorter than him)

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chibishortdeath · 9 months ago

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I filled an entire sketchbook page recently with just doodles of Simon based on various photos of Jerma I hope you guys understand—

#castlevania #castlevania games #akumajo dracula #akumajou dracula #castlevania ii #castlevania simon’s quest #simon’s quest #castlevania ii: simon's quest #Castlevania nes #simon belmont #art post #my art #shitpost?#uhhhh should I even tag this Jerma or #this idea kinda from post on here that was one of those ‘died (year) born (year) welcome back (person)’ but it was Simon and Jerma #I think about that all the time it lives in my head rent free forever now lol #and also cause I watched Jerma a lot recently #i debated even posting this but then I saw how dead the Castlevania tags are rn and like ya know what #maybe Jerma Simon is exactly what the fandom needs rn lmaoooo #idk it can’t hurt #I wanna animate simon picking up one of those boss monster orbs and being like WHAT IS THIS THIS IS MAGIC POWERS like Jerma and the geode #idk I think he’d announce to a live stream that he’s legally insane and 40% of what he says isn’t true #I gotta animate the meatgrinder rant too oh my goooodddddd—#I feel like my idea of this guy is way different than the common fandom depictions 💀💀💀💀💀💀#welp anyways

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lastofthe20thcenturygirls · 10 months ago

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#my favourite ever pictures of them together #she's soooooo #and he's sooooooo #and they look sooooooooooo #no wonder a whole generation and a half grew up thinking they were married #idk which movie's photoshoot this is #but i just know it's rahul and anjali #SRK crisis hours #kajol #bollywood #shah rukh khan #i should actually be opening my laptop and start reading before i get an email from my uni #but stupid fucking brain is mad at someone so i can't focus #also damn pt hurts #i thought at least my body will be pain free but who knew even physical healing requires you to go through more pain first #anyway look at my parents so beautiful #i do blame these two for the heart annoyances i am going through rn

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httpiastri · 1 year ago

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Hi🤭👋

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGed83E5g/

You see It?! YOU HEAR IT?

He said he likes to be in control

Can you feed us a smut w dom Lando x younger sis of one of the drivers

Dom Lando🫠

i usually save requests in my inbox until i write them but i just had to share this

making me go feral honestly 🫠🫠🫠 what the frick? lando?? phrasing it like that???? oh my godddddd

#i dont usually go for the like hard dom stuff but like #jesus christ if i had a lando..... he could be as dom as he wanted #dom lando x younger sis of someone is also making me go feral #i also would love me some possessive lando idk about yall #'you're mine and only mine' 'you cant even look at him' 'be as loud as you want baby; let them know who you belong to'#aaaa #and okay on the topic of him saying he needs to be control #it would be so hot to like tie him up or use a blindfold on him.....#him not being able to touch you because his hands are tied to the bedframe.. just whining when you've got your hands all over his body #annoyed because 'this isn't how its supposed to be...'#and then when you release him he just needs to show you whos actually in charge #okay sorry i shouldnt be writing this rn 🫠 too tired #just having a lot of lando thoughts #thank you for this ask anon 🫡🫡🫡 the tiktok vid will forever live rent free in my head #asks!#anon!

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waterfallofspace · 9 months ago

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I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe

so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3

#waterfalltalks #hi i am in LOVE with this man even tho hes like idk 30 years my senior #hes also fictional so <3 its fine <3 is what i tell myself <3 and its true <3 so its okay that i tell myself this <3 #what can i say okay he hits EVERY one of my boxes and has a charming smile while he does it #literal sunshine but clouded with the most beautiful darkness like hello sir #also one canon and it wasnt the best and it wasnt a lot and it was from the back but you know what sometimes we starve #so the fact im not going completely without is good enough for me and i will live nicely in this world #i do not know if i will write for him but i cannot find ANYTHING for this man so i might have to just do it myself #will anyone else care? no. does that matter to me? nope hes my beloved and i want c o n t e n t #only thing stopping me rn is free time and confidence that i have his mannerisms down #maybe after i rewatch it <3 again <3 and watch many edits <3 and maybe make a few edits <3 #anyways if you bothered to read this far uh- thank you? im sorry? dont mind me just losing it over my newest guy <3 you get how it is <3 #(i hope <3) anyways yes thank you!! bye!! i will go sit in a corner and think about my man <3 #not snz

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moe-broey · 2 months ago

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"I didn't really raise either of you in a gendered way" When I was like 10 or 11 maybe 12 but definitely not 13 yet, one day you asked me if I wanted to try on the wedding dress you married my dad in. I liked playing dress up and I liked hanging out with you, so I said yes. We're in the living room that you would (already have?) marry my stepdad in. You button up the back of the dress, I don't know why this becomes a core memory. You married my stepdad in a sundress, very casual, very small "event", only the barest of minimum people required to officiate and witness the wedding were there. You tell me, "Maybe one day, when you get married, you can wear this dress. Oh, but you don't have to if you don't want to! But, do you want it?" I still have the dress. I'm a man. And I don't think I'll ever marry. "You can get rid of it, you won't hurt my feelings." I can't.

#i literally like. have such a chip in my shoulder about marriage it's unreal.#it's like. i don't even have the extreme fundamentalist excuse. everything was presented as a 'choice' or a 'suggestion'#but like. somehow. i still extrapolated Something from that. what you expect from me. what you want for me.#and as i got older. it became increasingly clear that i would never be able to. be anywhere close to that.#i don't know. i don't know why i'm just. going through it rn.#i don't know if it's cause i haven't seen her in a long time. fucked up but i think it's been a year if not longer.#she hasn't seen my piercings yet. that's how long it's been.#and like. i had such an intense one sided rivalry like. posturing myself as the better son bc #i'm the one who stayed when i had every fucking reason to leave. and. comparitively.#he has valid emotional reasons but i'm the faggot. i'm the tranny. you are and always have been the golden boy.#and you have NEVER lived up to it. and there are reasons. but you still get more humanity than i ever will.#even though objectively like you just fucked up. so much. so badly. at every turn.#idk i need to stop talking about it. but like. ever since it finally seemed like he's getting divorced #from. like. like. okay fine while i'm at it. it would have been FINE if you just fucked off had a kid got married #like. i COULD accept that and be happy for you. if NOT for the fucking fact that you ended up in.#just. a horrible horrible relationship where the poor kids you brought into the world were not safe.#and you are not free from guilt either.#man i really just. i need to fuck off for real.#but he's been living w my mom w his kids. and you know what. i feel like i'm free from my duties.#mom is occuied w one of her kids and her grandkids now. i know they may be exposed to psychological damage #but physically. they are safe. and god. is it naive. to hope that make he can reconcile w her.#not as a responsibility but like. he needed it. badly.#not like i'm ever gonna get the reconciliation i need. not that i even want it.#like. as a person. i just don't like him.

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birdricks · 1 year ago

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late night insane post i rlly think birdrick appeals to me partly bc of the alien nature of their relationship… and specifically in how bp kind of bridges the gap between them but in many other ways theyre completely different

#smth smth queer…. smth smth gender… idk #often thinking abt simple anatomical differences in alien relationships #and like haha the obvious stuff. but moreso even simple stuff like. ears. feathers. organs.#this is also just me persoanlly finding it fun to wonder abt bps anatomy like … how much is bird vs human #(my personal hc is he is Mosttlyyy bird. the human appearance is just superficial and like. a coincidence ig)#LIKEEEE. how they r each fascinated by each other for the most simple things. like despite their bodies both being considered unconventional #the separation from the others culture allows them to see past it and just see each other as. wonderful #WHATEVER MAN. my brain is in a crazy weird place rn #being able to be within urself and ur body completely free from ur usual societal expectations… WHATEVER!!!!#ummmmm Anyway! if rick gave bp a piercing where do u reckon it wld be #oh oops dropped a hc. in my mind bp is considered very plain and bland looking by bird culture. which also makes it more sweet for rick to b #be so enthralled by him #ok goodnighytttttt. going to um. idk. keep trying to stay sane

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theha1rarch · 4 months ago

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@will3nd liked for a new interactions starter!

"shit!" steve curses loudly as his feet continue moving before his brain can tell them to stop and he goes full on barreling into the other, sending them both sprawling - landing in a tangle of limbs. "shit, shit, shit." he continues to curse, trying his best to entangle himself from the other. "shit i'm sorry, are you okay?" he barely even notices the cut on his own knee, slowly trickling blood down his leg.

#( you gotta mess up to figure things out // interactions )#( contact list // skunk thompson )#( think of all the luck you got // shameless au )#will3nd #(ok so - i hope this verse is ok i know it's not even on my verse list rn)#(but when i saw skunk was from the southside of chicago ... it felt too good not to use)#(idk how much you know abt shameless but if you at least know the basics - the tl; dr version of this verse is-)#(steve is a cousin of the gallaghers. has been living with them since he was 10. is another sibling in all but last name)#(feel free to dm me with any questions tho! or if you'd prefer me to change the verse <3)#blood tw

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kavehayati · 6 months ago

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How can ppl be so openly shameless about the most wholesome character to be created BDJSKSMSK

#like I’m genuinely baffled <- got the British in me to surface that’s how shocked I am #NDIEKS OF COURSE EVERYONES FREE TO DO LIKE WHATEVER I SUPPOSE #dora daily #but cmon … he’s so cute and sweet and wholesome HOWRE TOU TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT #how could you see him and be like yeah this is so him or let’s put him in this situation SNDISKSNA #Kaveh is so un-hor knee-fiable it’s like the best thing about him LMAO but yall somehow find a way 😭#me after blablablablabla all day every day about him fneisksnskssjsj #anyways it’s 4:44 am rn :0 #craaazy #it’s almost salah too LOL #anyways like even let’s say you get carried away with the mischaracterisation #you log in and then just even read his teapot lines he’s so friendly 😭 and just wholesome in general he’s sad yeah but he’s so innocent IDK #LMAO #I’m not projecting aren’t I CAUSE THIS IS CANON 😭

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plasmamembranes · 10 months ago

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me rn taking algebra and chemistry

#I have a 98 in algebra rn somehow but it's getting so real and the only reason I have that grade is bc my prof gives us a practice test #Formatted exactly like the actual test and I just do it literally 30x until I have shit memorized #I don't actually know what I'm doing like idk what factoring is or how to simplify square roots I've just been memorizing steps 💀💀💀#And I have no fucking clue what I'm doing in chem I have a 90 in there but it's bc my prof knows he sucks and he literally gives us points #On our tests for free lmaoooo??? I'm always top 3 in the class w my test grades but I don't even know how to like. Calculate m w g/l #Idk dude numbers suck #I don't even need chem anymore bc I changed my major but i don't think I can drop it without fucking up my financial aid LOL

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pallases · 10 months ago

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ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭#best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️#the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal…#oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

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pepprs · 2 years ago

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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol

#purrs #delete later #i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand #fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel #xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick #it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they #have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf #im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but #i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid #situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement #counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started #saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t #this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d #decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an #anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa #was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told #me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg #and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a #account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an #and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet #and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i #hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und #understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK

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waywardsalt · 1 year ago

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ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish.#like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

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