#and idk feeling validated for what you do as a hobby or job really helps to boost morale. as a healthcare worker I knew that

[elecman108]

I got my motivation to draw back!! So I drew something cute!! ...Err, I mean Blaze hallucinating dead people and demon alter-egos whom he kind of turned into a patron of sorts despite his patron being said dead circus stuck in his head?

Complicated shit, my guy. He’s cute so therefore it’s cute logic in full force rn.

Nice! You clicked on the cut! Here’s the alternate version without it being haunted.

Still effectively is the same thing, just no face lol.

I think any Genasi with element-based hair (eg. Blaze’s fire hair, Tempest’s fog hair) would be affected by their environment/mood. Like Blaze here I picture as having just come out of the shower/bath, so his fire hair is down to embers. Tempest, however...

...It’s a barbarian rage thing, I think. His parents are an Air Genasi and Fire Genasi, and his older sister was a Fire Genasi, so when she died and became his ‘patron’ of sorts, he can get Pissed and look like a Fire Genasi to some degree. Or at least that’s the logic.

What’s with me and fucked up characters? Blaze is haunted by ghosts, Tempest’s got PTSD, Axel’s traumatized with so many mental health conditions... lmao? I guess? I like depth and this is how I made depth with three of my favourites.

[femmefatalevibe]

I’m feeling kind of trapped in my relationship. I’ve been with this guy pretty much all my uni years, we live together and I’m about to graduate. I feel bad for feeling this way because I love him and he is so supportive and loving towards me… but I keep finding myself wishing I was single and wishing I could meet new people. I think it’s partly because my friends have graduated and moved away from the city. And this isn’t just my first relationship it’s my first time living with someone and we don’t have a lot of space for us both. Maybe the feeling is amplified because I’m a student with not job so I don’t know where I’d go or how I’d live without him because I’m not financially independent yet, not really. I just feel like I want to be free and independent .. at the same time he has been so important for me idk. I haven’t told anyone this before :/

Hi love! Graduating from uni is such a transitional time, so it makes a world of sense that you're feeling this way, especially having a partner nearly the entire time, which I can only imagine has become part of your identity to some extent over these formative years. Thank you for trusting me with this information! Your feelings are so valid. I can only imagine feeling trapped in this situation when you don't have a job yet to give you the financial support you need to feel some control/independence over your life. Here's my main advice:

Focus on yourself. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to leave the relationship, but it seems from what you're telling me that you don't feel as though you have an identity that isn't in some way related to or tethered to this relationship. Take some time to focus on YOUR needs and expectations from this relationship and the pros/cons of staying with this guy vs. being single to find yourself. Ask yourself:

Why do I want to continue this relationship? How does the support from my partner brighten my day and encourage me to pursue my goals/dreams?

Do I feel stagnant as a person or like I'm in a dead-end relationship? Consider how you're using "I" statements when describing your feelings in the relationships to determine this crucial information.

Regardless of whether you choose to stay partnered or step into singlehood, it is essential that you embark on a self-discovery journey to begin figuring out who you are, your goals, hobbies, desires, etc. independent of a partner or anyone else. I'm sharing a few resource guides below to get you started.

Tips For Self-Discovery & Mastering Personal Branding

How To Build Your Personal Brand & Self Concept

How To Cultivate Self-Love & Boost Self-Esteem

How To Embody Queen Energy

Empowering Affirmations To Unleash Your Dark Feminine Energy

How To Discover & Build Your Dream Career

Hope this helps xx

[firespirited]

I watched The Clawdeena9 "documentary" with parts fast-forwarded. Thought it might be an insight into another side of the hobby.

It's hard to put into words how I feel but half of it felt like an ad read and the other half made me feel ill, it was unwittingly exploitative.

First things first, the documentary is him setting the goal of buying all 800 Monster High dolls brand new in box. By selling his unboxed dolls and raising money by being a youtuber and doing brand sponsorship and promotions.

Now... I don't know how to convey the horror a complete BNIB collection of Monster High evokes. It's not only sterilized of the emotions put into putting together your slow imperfect collection, the hunt, the thrift finds, the childhood faves with the bad haircuts. A complete set doesn't tell me which dolls you didn't feel fit you or just weren't as good quality in design or theme. Might as well be watching someone whitewash a home into a greige rental.

It's also the opposite of an investment because most of those particular dolls are chemically disintegrating if you're not treating them. This is a case where they are physically rotting. I am looking at gorgeously displayed stacks of bills with sticky melty resin seeping into them.

-------------

I don't want to be rude about the way people bond to a brand, universe, hobby, sports club, band or even religious rite for bringing meaning, connection and joy into their life at rough spots but ultimately it should serve you not the other way around or it feels maladaptive.

I understand special interests and that's how some people communicate and interact - I have trainspotter type friends for whom their love language is their passion which is their hobby & their work. I wouldn't present their life as entirely healthy because burn out happens and it's hard to find something else if one thing has been all consuming.

IDK. His life isn't terrible. It's not a soul crushing data entry or assembly line work with friends who only connect because you have the same boss or the same sports club. It still felt like a bunch of blurred personal vs professional lines, conflicting interests and a lost soul looking for some sort of goal or closure in the wrong places.

Here's what I really *really* wanted to hear at least once in the 2 hours:

"I enjoy performing"

"I've decided to set myself strict work hours and work boundaries"

"I have a new goal" (any goal but preferably one that can translate to other options such as marketing or beauty school)

"I have friends who don't get it at all but who are supportive in other areas".

It's supposed to be little pieces of art that bring comfort or spark creativity not a lifestyle. Not work is play and play is work and friendship is both and earn to buy more and connect to get more job opportunities to earn to buy more.

If there's one thing that I want to tell him and other fandom folks it would be:

For all the transformative power of stories and representation, you don't owe artists devotion. You paid for the art - that is good enough. The stories and the lessons and the songs and the things to look forward to... Those helped but YOU did that. You saved your life, you picked yourself up, you made changes, you survived.

-----------------------

As for the documentary style? I don't watch reality shows. I follow many artists on both personal and art accounts and often unfollow if I feel the personal is colouring or clouding the work too much. I have very mixed opinions about biopics, preferring memoirs. Both personal and art are valid but the blurring between personal and "content" is deeply uncomfortable and feels like the pimping of both. It's also a very obvious part of the story that Clawdeena9 has been a persona on the internet since Matt was a child, the two are intertwined. He's a grown man who makes his own decisions and yet I oscillated between feeling like a voyeur and feeling like I was being played. Personal TMI just before an ad read? That's the deeply uncomfortable boundary blurring that's at the heart of what people are just calling "cringe".

Many documentary and biopic makers fail at turning "a year in the life" into a narrative arc because life doesn't unfold in a three act structure ending in triumph. Attempting to tie it to a theme of resilience falls flat because life doesn't work like that, it sets an uncanny tone for what is a shopping quest on a backdrop of grief, breakups and mental health issues. It makes Mattel and Youtube out to be life preservers in this narrative instead of welcome distraction goals in life's struggles. The framing is terrible, especially given the young audience being sold what is literally referred to as "the dream".

If this feels like an overwrought critique of some small youtuber's docuseries, yes it is but it also applies to documentaries about Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, the Elvis film, the films about filmmaking, the books about being a writer, the influencer creep of people feeling entitled to personal life details about artists or artists feeling they need to sacrifice more personal details to get a chance.

[sentofight]

2. Do you believe in long notes threads or each time the plot changes, you write a new starter?

3. Do you feel jealous of doubles? and if no, please share ways for others to learn.

munday meme on tuesday heh | accepting ?? | @cadcnce​

2. Do you believe in long notes threads or each time the plot changes, you write a new starter?

[[ I dooo!!!! I love when a thread can pass over the usual ten notes ;u; it feels like some kind of accomplishment you know? it has been a while since I had long threads. Well, so far the longest thread has 89 notes! and it is still going so that’s neat~ Though i do the switch to a new post if I feel like it is better to separate the thread if the events are changing??? like uuhh it would be neat to make like save points? haha kind of. it helps if you like to reread through threads to see what you have wrote so far or maybe try to find a line to quote for a new thread. i think both ways are neat! 

3. Do you feel jealous of doubles? and if no, please share ways for others to learn.

[[ do i look like saint to you? lololol uuuhhhh i mean hmm i did get a little bit jelly but then it was annoying for me to feel that. i cant make AAAALL ppl love me or like the way i write. it would be hypocrite if i said “yep that does not bother me AT ALL” yeah sometimes i get that tiny little me noise in the back of my head saying ‘uwu they dont write with you hohoh~ bet they like x’s muse better. how shame~’ and i really want to beat me sometimes. but hmm a way .... idk A WAY but first you need to be happy with what YOU write you know? i got a little bit shaky with my single muse blog, chrom but then it was like ..that age ?? you reach when everything is just EH. you will get there if you believe in what you write. you dont compare yourself to others, well in a negative way. learning from others is nice but comparing and trying to find what makes you different and look for why certain blog follows them and not or they interact with them but not....boy. thats a maze. not gonna lie, been there and it is ugly. im not great at pep talk but the most important thing i will repeat again you having fun in what you write. because in the end, this is fiction. this is a hobby not a job (unless u get paid then good for you) so dont stress about people with the same muse as you. there is NO WAY, NO CHANCE you will write the same as them (unless you are the person who steals ppl ideas to try to get their ppl to interact with you then begone piece of poo). i’d like to jazz hands at my favorite person who writes a muse as me, wars. we wrote the same muse for years but i have a different look for Eight and so does she but in the end what makes us besties THAT WE FRICKING LOVE OUR POTEIGHTO. every time i feel bad about being less of a writer because I THINK someone else write this muse better than me i remember my past interactions with amazing ppl who wrote the same muse as me and how we can actually have a rave party and not be on each other throats. to each person their own experience they write from. so dont feel bad that you dont share theirs and their viewpoints. EVERYONE ARE VALID AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  

sankyu for listening to my rambling ted talk.

[firewoodfigs]

a smorgasbord of unbidden thoughts / highlights (long post ahead!): 

we’re slowly creeping out of the lockdown, and we’re allowed to go out for meals now! I got to meet a friend for dinner on Monday and he treated me to some amazing Italian fare as a belated birthday gift :’) I was really craving Italian after watching Luca and I haven’t had good pasta in a long while, so that was really nice. I also met a friend for dinner today after work, and we’re just glad to have made it to Friday tbh lmao. it was nice catching up again after so long and talking about everything under the sun (in this case, under the moon). I love spending time alone and having time myself, but I can’t deny that I’ve also missed interacting with other sentient life forms lmao. 

I managed to re-schedule my vaccine slots, and I'm getting my first shot tomorrow! fingers crossed it won’t be too bad (I still wanna be able to type through the soreness 😩). I'm a little nervous tbh because I absolutely detest needles, but I feel like at this point I just don’t care anymore LMAO. it also helps that my bf and I got the same vaccination slot, so I guess I'll just make a ruckus and be a nuisance if things go south. jk 

next week’s my last full week of work before my two-month break begins! I'm really excited to finally get a breather from work (although to be fair I've only been working for like... 6 months lmao rip) before things get real hectic in September haha. I'm definitely not looking forward to the added responsibilities, and i’m honestly not sure how to feel about getting called to the bar because everyday is just a flurry of shit, am I really cut out for this and help, work is dulling my * sparkle * and yo, you think I can just move somewhere west and be a country singer? but oh well. too late I guess. I'm too deep in debt to get out now LMAO. jk 

on the bright side, though, I received news today that I’ve been designated to my preferred area of practice for my next seat :) and i'm pretty excited about that! I've honestly been feeling pretty desiccated about the law ever since starting practice because it’s so different from whatever I've studied and something that college couldn’t have possibly prepared me for lmao (many thoughts but I don’t want to turn this into an essay so I will simply project my feelings onto my favourite war criminals)

it’s been a struggle to create lately, for various reasons. these days it feels like anything I make is woefully inadequate and subpar and mediocre, and i’m just. constantly torn between striking everything out altogether and desperately wanting to be better, to feel better. I felt a little burnt out after royai week because  I was rushing to complete so many projects and ideas on time (I do tend to get a little overambitious and overzealous that way, haha), and so I tried to take a break, but I couldn’t properly rest, either, because these days I only feel alive when I'm... creating. LOL. it's like an unresolvable paradox where I slog to feel alive and then feel like death, and then feel like I'm wasting away and wasting time when I'm being unproductive and fruitless. idk, man. it’s probably the productivity guilt acting up or something. it doesn’t help that my mind is an unholy mix of anxiety and imposter syndrome and perfectionism, either, or that inspiration only strikes me at the ungodliest of hours. I find that it’s easier to write when I've cleared everything else on my plate, but sometimes it’ll be midnight by the time I've done that because there’s just so much to do. I end up writing at two in the morning and/or recording snippets of a putative song while half-asleep (the result is usually pretty dang awful, because I have no idea what I was saying when I listen to it the next day lmao).

I also find it to difficult to alternate between so many forms of writing. my job mostly consists of reading and writing (mostly boring and terribly dreary stuff, because lawyers have apparently never heard of punctuation or one-liners, and I am 100% proving this right now with my streams of consciousness), and my hobbies primarily include that, too. I've also been struggling to switch between writing prose/fic and poems and songs because i tend to focus on different things. (I also have the attention span of a goldfish. or a confused rat.) like, I focus a lot more on how things flow for the first, how things look for the second, and how things sound for the third, if that makes sense? but I also literally cannot focus on one thing at a time so everything is just a half-written mess and a smattering of my illegible scrawls tbh 😞 I'm hoping that I'll have more time to sit down and properly sort these out one at a time during my break hahaha. 

that being said, I read something this week about the four stages of learning a new skill LOL iirc it goes (1) unconscious incompetence (2) conscious incompetence (3) conscious competence (4) unconscious incompetence? I find that I'm stuck at (2) atm for a lot of things, which is probably why it’s so hard to go forth and do the damn thing without descending into a spiral of self-doubt haha. the truth is I rely on external reassurances and validation a great deal to tide me through, because my mind is just so used to criticising myself for everything and being my own harshest critic that it’s become a challenge to objectively assess my own work. it’s probably a defence mechanism to feeling like failure is not an option and/or my upbringing or something, and it’s how I’ve coped with a lot of things, but I'm also coming to realise that it’s not always the healthiest way to live haha. 

BUT, you know. at the end of the day it’s a hobby and it’s supposed to be fun and joy-inducing and. it’s so easy to ruin all of that in the process of pursuing perfection so. I think i’ll just work on attempting the damn thing and worrying about it afterwards 🤠 (and also being less exacting on myself haha) 

ending things on a lighter and brighter note - I received a lovely surprise from a friend this week!! I ordered some earrings from her (the stuff she makes is the stuff of DREAMS) and she tossed in a necklace for me and it’s just. it’s beautiful. it’s handmade. it’s astounding. I'm weeping. 

[kookiesbuckethat]

Hi~

I’ve never done this before 😅 but no pressure for you to do this!!!

This is for your cool matchup game, it sounds really fun and I love Sierra’s 😁

My pronouns are she/her

I’m a water sign

I’m an INFJ and a Enneagram Type 4 (but I become more extroverted as I get to know you)

I’m quite reserved and sometimes shy but I have a lot to say and I’m not shy from public speaking or making presentations or something like that. But I do get nervous and stress 😆

For physical features, I’m 5’7”, medium length “brown” hair and eyes, and a dimples (but not the normal kinds, idk what it’s called)

Hobbies/interests: Writing, reading, the occasional sketching/drawing, listening to music, playing music (i play 5-ish instruments), watching movies and tv shows + talking about them, fandoms 😂. I like science and animals, but history too. I’m interested in a lot of stuff and ask a lot of questions

Likes/dislikes: Calmness but adventures, alone time but I’d like to experience group gatherings like those in movies, dogs, turquoise, the holidays, breaks, most food? I don’t like pressure, stress, introductions/ice breaker games, failing 😂, and I have some pet peeves.

Ok this feels a bit too much sorryyy

im also a promoter for your fic-

I match you with…

hoseok!

You sound quite similar to Yoongi so it would be another case of “opposites attract” (Sope is superior)

With his friendly and outgoing nature, he quickly moves past your move reserved and shy side and brings out the more extroverted part of you

He quickly learns that although you can be shy, you speak when necessary

Even though he is naturally extroverted, even he sometimes gets nervous when it comes to public speaking, although he does a good job at hiding it

Whenever you show signs of nervousness before a presentation, he’s always sure to hype you and to make you less nervous

Sitting in the audience, he sends huge smiles and lots of thumbs up

He’ll even yell out words of encouragement when it’s appropriate (even when it’s not appropriate sometimes he can’t help himself)

You may feel embarrassed by how loud he is but you can’t help the smile that forms on your face or the warm feeling that spreads throughout your whole body

Just knowing that he’s in the audience, watching and smiling at you is enough to calm your nerves and let the presentation run smoothly

And when it’s over, he always praises you and takes you out to dinner as a reward

Just like he’s always there to support you, you’re always there for him as well

He’s known for always being super bright and happy, but sometimes he just wants to relax

Being around you feels like home, and he feels like he can finally just be himself when he’s around you

He’s still naturally a pretty cheerful guy, he just doesn’t feel the need to be as hyper or loud as usual

During days where you two feel like staying in, you two usually watch movies or television shows together

Sometimes he’ll just sit down and listen to you talk about your favourites; he could listen to you all day long

Staring at you with the most whipped look on his face, he can’t fight the urge to poke your dimples whenever they appear, cooing at how adorable you are

You value having some alone time and he’s a workaholic even on his days off so after spending some time together, you two will go off to do your own things

He understands the importance of alone time, but he also pushes you to go out more

He likes to take you out shopping or to places museums or parks to explore

He always invites u to go out with him and the other members. You guys are like a family or a group of friends you see in television shows and movies, yet even better

And when he’s not there to keep you company, you have his dog, Mickey

Without even trying, he always manages to brighten up your days

He always seems to know exactly what you need, a comforting hand on the small of your back before an important presentation, words of encouragement and validation or a long hug when you’re stressed

He brings out the best in you as you do to him

You two are each other’s safe spaces that you return to every night, succumbing only to sweet dreams in the comfort of each other’s arms

[yhtaejoon]

hi! this is chey, i was here close to opening with kim1 (kim joonwoo), but i got really busy with a new job and accidentally dipped. i’m so so sorry for that! anyway, here’s taejoon’s unfinished info page & his pinterest board. this is rushed so it’s probably gonna be messy??? idk. we’re all in this together. hmu on discord if that’s your thing --- pepper#4940

full name is kang taejoon, but he has no affiliation with the kang family. he’s actually filling the role of daebak8! i checked the last names to make sure he didn’t have the same one as one of the families but alas, my pea-brain still failed me.

on that note, he’s a tiktoker born in 2000. started on vine in 2012, but didn’t actually get serious about his online presence until 2014-ish and IMMEDIATELY started lying about his life because what else is a fourteen year old gonna do online?

lied about his age, his hobbies, his family, his experiences, etc. he just really, really wanted to seem interesting, and hey! it worked! he eventually fooled thousands of people into thinking he’s someone worth their time. chased trends like crazy, kept in close touch with his “fanbase”, picked up sponsorships all while keeping his ACTUAL life completely secret basically. got very comfortable with lying.

he was always pretty obsessed with the attention because he lost his popularity when he stopped playing soccer (f’s in the chat for the former athlete side of him) & getting money from promoting brands was good, too, bc while his family isn’t necessarily lower class, they could still use some help. plus he needed cash to buy anime merch.

flash forward to 2020. he graduated high school in early 2019, still has no desire to go to college or get a “real” job. he has it made rn living in the daebak house and creating online content still. living the life.

except not really because how fulfilling can it honestly be to watch thousands of people becoming fond of ur fake persona? he still lies a ton, has begun to feel like no one will ever like him for who he actually is bc it’s quite disappointing in comparison to the always ON persona he shows. 

his tiktok user name is “beetlejoon” which is a play on beetlejuice if you couldn’t tell dshbfvds.

he speaks english really well from a mix of classes when he was young, growing up online and trying to appeal to westerners, and watching a ton of western shows/films. he does kind of have an accent but for the most part.... a lot of ppl who only know him online assume he lives in america/is from america.

the rumor about him buying views/followers is definitely true. he’s not losing popularity or anything, he just wants to look even more relevant than he actually is.

cries himself to sleep like every night but you’d NEVER guess. he’s super funny when he’s around people, knows what people want and will do anything he can to blend in and make everyone like him. needs that validation so bad. life of the party.

flirts a lot for no other reason than he can and he likes the validation of people flirting back! but his love life is hectic and always disappointing. on one hand, he knows a ton of his followers are delusional w the idea that they can be with him and he doesn’t wanna lose followers by being Unavailable. on the other hand, can’t risk being too close with anyone and them finding out nothing he says is true. heehee.

he follows whatever trends are in at the moment, so he owns a ton of dumb shit that will never be practical/clothes he’ll never wear in public/probably has dumb tattoos he got impulsively.

his trademark thing (that he stole Obviously) is a broken heart that he draws on his cheekbone Every Single Day. probably claims that it’s a tattoo just to fuck with his followers but there’s those odd times when it’s not there and everyone’s confused.

wears all black usually, lots of chains, leather, platform boots, dangly earrings, but he’s not the kind of guy your parents worn you about. he couldn’t be scary if he tried. he’s CLEARLY just a tiktok e-boy. he’s more like the lowlife your parents compare you to to make you feel better about how slow your life is moving.

while we’re talking about parents.... his gave up on him when he moved into the daebak house. he tries to give them money and support them but they won’t have it. decline his calls. don’t write him back. they think he’s mad embarrassing which is... fair. his tiktok presence is definitely questionable

likes to be funny and make people laugh, but he actually cannot take anything seriously even if he tries. this definitely gets on peoples’ nerves, has probably ended some good friendships/relationships/whatever else. sometimes he can lighten the mood if it’s dark but most of the time it just pisses people off bc it seems like he doesn’t care/doesn’t understand.

idk what else to say but if you’ve read this far and you like music, two songs that i heavily associate with taejoon are cotton candy by yungblud and lowkey as hell by waterparks. listen to them if you want... or don’t.

i don’t have a plots page put together yet, but here are some vague ideas i have:

(0/2) --- past tinder dates whom he lied to about his age and it came out somehow </3 maybe he tried to take them to a bar and he got caught with a fake id. maybe they went snooping and found out none of his info adds up. either way, the dates were short-lived and they probably clowned him pretty hard.

(0/?) --- fans of his tiktok page.

(0/?) --- alternatively, people who know of his tiktok page and think it’s dumb.

(0/1) --- another influencer who is jealous of his following, thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

(0/1) --- another influencer who “beefs” with him online so they both get more views.

(0/1) --- another influencer he collabs with a lot, even if their content is completely different. they’re friends, so might as well piggyback of each other’s popularity!

(0/1) --- close friend who makes frequent appearances on his tiktok, usually for relationship trends bc he doesn’t have an actual partner to film them with. usually acting like clowns, clearly faking but his fans still think it might be real. 

(0/1) --- someone he hooked up with at one (or more) of the daebaek house parties and ghosted afterwards. completely acts like he doesn’t know them. oops.

(0/?) --- friends to do dumb shit with. he’s impulsive and just hates to be alone (especially when doing stuff that might get him in trouble) so you could say these are his accomplices. if he wants to do things he’ll regret, they’re always in!

(0/?) --- some mellow friends who balance out his chaos.

(0/1) --- the one (1) friend he got matching tattoos with on impulse. probably something really stupid. the one thread that holds their friendship together when they fight.

(0/1) --- someone who holds themselves to really high standards, takes life seriously. thinks they’re better than taejoon and doesn’t hesitate to show it.

(0/1) --- ex partner who broke up with taejoon because (1) he wouldn’t stop lying to them, (2) he still claimed to be single online and (3) he just cracked jokes when they tried to talk out their problems, wouldn’t really listen. probably hate him now but he’s really sorry. please accept these (cheap, probably wilting) apology flowers.

i want every plot. all of them. anything u can throw at me! but if i kept typing ideas out, i’d be at this forever and we really can’t have that. so just hit me up if any of these catch your attention or if you’ve got anything you think he’d fit! 

[lonelyreputation]

any words of advice to a 17 year old thats turning 18 in 3 months in her last year of high school and knows nothing about herself. Doesnt have a lot of confidence and has very limited time to start taking this big decisions like what to study, where, how to get a job, etc. *im freaking out, im like living in autopilot, and I hate it. idk what my talents are, what I like, I dont have any hobbies I just workout 1 hour everyday, help*

I can see how all of that is very stressful! It’s a lot of decisions to make in a short amount of time 🥴 I think you probably know yourself better than you think 😉 What kind of work outs do you like? Do play sports? Would something in sports administration, athletic training, or anything in like a physical therapy realm interest you?? Is there a specific reason you’re on Tumblr? Are you on here for reading? Do you create content of your own? Would something in a field of copywriting, journalism, or editing be of interest to you?

I felt the same way in high school! The only think I knew was that I wanted to go to a concert like every night so I started looking into that and found out that a person could ~actually study music business so then I narrowed down my search for colleges that way!

I will say this though––Everything you’re feeling is 110% valid and life has a way of working itself out. I would start by trying to find something that sparks the littlest amount of joy then just dig into that and you might find something that really excites you! You’d be surprised how many niche topics there are to study in college / how many niche jobs there are! I would also start out by not hyper-focusing on “jobs” right now, and maybe scale it down to “internships”! That might lessen some anxiety 

I have so much faith in you! It’s a very difficult and confusing time and I will continue to send you all the good vibes I have!!! I’m always here if you need anything!💥💖💥💖

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[zontiky]

The Five's Store au we were talking about?

yesssss the good kush. gonna do this in bullets because i feel like it might get long. jsyk i didn’t read through literally any of this so for whatever typos i made sorry lmao

five wakes up one day (post apocalypse) and thinks hey, you know what would be a completely rational and not at all impulsive idea to follow through with.

that’s right folks. 

he’s gonna start a store.

the thing here is, five has absolutely no idea how business functions. sure he’s been part of a massive organization for years, but actually doing like,, store things? lol what

but that doesn’t matter because he’s gonna have a store and he can learn as he goes, no big deal

it’s a very big deal. five does not know how to manage a store.

it’s literally just called “five’s store.” how did he fund it? when did they build it? nobody knows. it’s like those fast-food restaurants that just pop up one night and you have no clue how they got there.

so. five’s got his store. this is nice. he didn’t actually know what he wanted to sell, but because his siblings couldn’t talk him out of this (read: they didn’t know it was happening until it was too late) they suggest things

baked goods! bicycles! books! postcards! writing materials! furniture! shut up klaus nobody is selling what you’re about to suggest shUT UP-

so five decides, fuck it, and just. shoves everything into this store. how? i don’t know. nobody does.

i literally have no ideas how stores work so im playing all of this by ear (vanya if you’re out there) but five also doesn’t know how stores work so it’s all good. gucci, if you will. five has probably stolen gucci before, for a mission or something idk just a thought

so five has his store but he’s so bad at managing it. first off, hiring employees didn’t occur to him. it’s just five in a building

customer: *walks in* hello can i have a cake pleasefive: sure :) five: *gives them a pie*customer: little boy, who do you think you are? i said a cakefive: cake? oh shit you’re right, sorry.five: *gives them a breadroll* :)customer: what a rude little boy! let me speak to your manager. is it even legal for a teen to be employed?(he passes as 15 ok props to aidan for being older than his character’s physical age lmao)five: ok *walks out into the back room* *walks back in* hi what can i help you with

the kids love him though. it’s always “mommy when can we shop at five’s again?” etc etc and five is like. shitposting irl. without realizing. he genuinely doesn’t know the difference between types of cheeses. he can’t tell you how an LED is different from a fluorescent bulb. he actually, literally, doesn’t know this shit.

why is he in charge of a store? fuck if i know, but im having fun with this

the siblings try to help out, but it ends with five kicking them out because they were “arranging the cacti wrong” or “messing with the bathroom toilet covers too much” 

what are bathroom toilet covers? idk but we have them in my house and we only use them for christmas theyre the worst. imagine a fucking snowman staring at you everytime you want to take a shit. goodluck

five loves his store dearly tho

from offbrand cream cheese to onbrand sweatervests.

hm luther probably tries to help with the gardening section once in a while. he comes in and immediately has to hold back tears because “five when was the last time you watered these begonias.”

‘oh last week probably i dont know’

“five you have to water them at least once a day”

‘how was i supposed to know that’

“five you OWN a STORE-”

so yeah luther just. silently looms in the corner. watering plants. he scares asshole customers away even though he never says anything he just stands there. and waters the plants. some nice ladies initiate conversation and he just goes off about plant things which is so valid i love him

he’s like hargid but less rough around the edges. friendly giant. bfg but with plants. five never comments on how he takes a plant home occasionally. 

diego sticks around the cutlery for reasons well known. he always tries to take knives home, to sharpen them, he claims, but five draws the fucking line there.

im making it sound like five owns some massive corporate building. no. his store is like a very compact IKEA. it has everything an ikea would, but it’s barely the size of a target. actually targets are pretty big. walmart maybe? dollar store? bigger than a dollar store though. hmmm just an average department store

lowes. that’s it. it’s like an ikea but the size of a lowes. five owns a lowes called Five’s Store. 

okay so allison’s sole purpose is to stand outside and offer free autographs. she basically bribes people into going in. it’s like walmart. as soon as you go in you physically can’t go out without buying something. 

jk she also helps five with his customer service because what the fuck it’s terrible. also funding. she’s a rich actress. all of them have an inheritance probably though, but five didn’t want to use reggies money because this is all a really huge “fuck you” to dad. cheers to him. 

OH MY GOD ALLISON PROBABLY SHOOTS ADS FOR FIVE’S STORE (in future mentions will be abbreviated to FS for my convenience) AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET TRACTION YES

klaus and ben kinda uhhhh hang around. klaus is kicked out by five a lot because “don’t touch that” “get your hands off” “where did you get a chainsaw? put that down, klaus stop-” and all that usual average stuff, but when they need it klaus is willing to be a cashier for a little bit

ben is the only one with like. actually useful tips. 

ben voice: no that’s not how you purchase items to sellfive: ???ben: here okay just go do something else and let the adults handle the money okay?

five can’t punch ben because he’s dead so HA. klaus probably makes ben corporeal though rip

ooo ben can also shelve things with his interdimensional wiggly worms! he can reach those high high shelves that have packaged stuff on them.

…costco? no i dont think FS is as massive as costco moving on

ben shelves stuff. we are eternally grateful for that. bless

vanya is the only actual competent adult you guys know this right. like sure the rest of them come CLOSE (mainly ben and allison, but ben doesn’t really count because he’s dead) but vanya is the only actual competent adult in this family (pogo dni)

so vanya does the taxes. rip to her. nobody likes taxes, but she’s taking one for the team

diego helps sometimes. tries to help sometimes. he brings her coffee does that count

kidding, diego knows how to taxes a little bit. emphasis on the “little” and “bit” and the silent “barely”

so yeah they all help out and i know i said five kicks them all out but i lied that never really happens. the store is like their side job but they’re not paid and it’s more of a hobby that got out of control

honestly five probably brings grace in and she bakes away because it makes her so happy that her cookies can make so many people happy. let her bake please.

claire probably owns an easy bake oven. just saying

yeah five has a store and it’s the literal best thing. it’s midnight so im gonna cut myself off but skjfsk this au is amazing thank you spencer for this golden concept

im gonna be honest all of this really reminds me of my mcdonalds five au which i might ramble about if requested lol

[battleshell]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @dansiere whom im care tagging: extremely informative meme for ppl who have lots of cross-over interactions, i encourage u to steal it from me anyway BUT @sternenteile​ @twelvians​ @stellamris​ @grandtales​

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is a very, very minor NPC that i’ve essentially wrested from the game with my grubby hands; Gerson is a merchant NPC found in Waterfall, the third area of the game focused with water themes. he has less than 100 lines of dialogue (but jam-packed full of info) and doesn’t even have an overworld sprite. although noted to have a history with multiple major characters, it’s not often i’ve seen him be the main focus of any fanfics or art pieces. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ put that faaaaaaaar away from me please tyty ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i personally believe that Gerson is a strong and potentially powerful monster with fighting capability that could rival some of the stronger Monsters in the Underground due to his background as a fighter during the Human-Monster War, but since has waned in both reputation and fighting skill. we never fight him in game and as such, will never see how he compares numerically, but it’s clear from his dialogue that he knows how to fight professionally/cleverly and would have given a hard challenge. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mentioned before that Gerson has ties with lots of major characters - I hardly see it being put into action or talked about! i also have a soft spot for elder/older characters in general since they seem to be overlooked in favor for younger characters that carry the action of plots - which I understand and totally get, but I still like to put these characters out there for the sake of it ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ he was a funny merchant dude that said “wahaha” a whole bunch of times and carried a magnifying glass; sure he and Frisk would have been good friends after the golden ending but most people have forgotten about their interaction with Gerson once out of Waterfall ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ as one of the older if not oldest Monsters in the Underground, or from his reputation as the “Hammer of Justice” from wartime. he is also a historian and is noted to have written a few of the books in the Librarby. definitely known in the Underground, but probably only in that community ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ as mentioned before, a benefactor to the community and maybe even a sagely figure. a source of wisdom (even if cheeky) and a person of stability ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — ehhhhhhhhhh both extremely canon compliant and then hands off the wheel, let jesus drive me away~ i only have so much canon material to work with so i have milked as much as offered to me, then went off to forge my own path in order to patch up the missing holes then add a few sprinkles. the base of the character is all there, but if you really want to get invested with him (or me) then we have a lot to walk through.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  old tortoise (NOT TURTLE) guy sells knick-knacks and cracks jokes, knows everyone’s dirty secrets but thinks they’re just funny to think about them than use them. an elder in the community who has stories to tell and lessons to teach, who has lived through half of recorded history and now spends his time just trying to make things around him interesting. a war veteran who protects his community and understands the horror of the world, but keeps eyes looking into the future even in the face of grimness itself. plays the accordion and harmonica, could probably square dance if he knew what that was. will call you kiddo.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  little to no motivation to find a passion for himself that would benefit or service just himself; his entire sense of worth comes from servicing others in some way (being a soldier and protecting people; recording history in order to teach future generations; maintaining a shop in order to literally service others) and lack of action due to decrepitude in old age. close-minded compared to other Monsters, as he doesn’t actually take to think of humans or outsiders kindly; judgmental to the point of being racist. proud and dislikes being one-upped that it could lead to pettiness, and despite his positive outlooks, very pessimistic worldview.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funfact: Gerson is my first tumblr RP muse ever, and since i was worried about duplicate anxiety when i first started i specifically wrote him since he was a smaller character with less attention - i’ve since learned i have no anxiety about it so it’s no longer a problem, but what keeps me going today is the challenge of writing someone so different from me. the elder aesthetic along with homely, almost cottagecore kind of vibe is also appealing, and the humor that comes with gerson is a joy to write out.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  reading literature, music, artwork, pinterest, replaying the game, and doing little hobbies that would embody the character (collecting or sewing, for example) are things i can do by myself, but with other people i have the most drive when i can have friendly and nonpersonal arguments/debates about character motives or about source material like what made a character act like this or that, or about really anything as long as it makes me seriously think about characters critically and force me to recognize flaws.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ unfortunately i’m not a tortoise monster who lived for probably centuries if not decades older than myself, but i enjoy writing older characters and hope that other ppl see the potential gerson has like i do ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ bro i should.. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ hmu if you got pinterest and i’ll give u tons and tons of boards ]

Are you confident in your portrayal?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ this is unfair to answer as (AFAIK) i am the only person writing Gerson in... any capacity. despite that i like to think i bring out the humorous side of him, and show ppl that he and other NPCs are tons of potentials and shouldn’t be overlooked because they aren’t popular ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ i always believed my style and my skill in not only PSDs or aesthetics, but analysis or understanding was always a bit plain, without much flourish or complexity. while that is appealing on its own and has its own merits, i can’t help but feel i can always push myself to do a little more, add a little flavor, or paint an image that could only be done in writing. although i am doing enough to get the job done, i’m searching for a certain voice of writing that i like and want to integrate into creative writing in order to make it more personalized and more engaging. ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ i despise pussyfooting and will often tell ppl straight up if i have a problem with them or something about them; straightforwardness, honesty, and integrity are some of my core values and that includes being harsh if it comes to it in order to keep order ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  assuming it’s rooted in goodwill or from a point of analysis, absolutely! it’s one of the direct sources for growth and getting better at any craft, but as Tumblr loves to be.... jumpy, i’m always cautious when its not from someone i know.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  YEA BUDDYYYYY

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  absolutely, i thrive off friendly discourse as i mentioned.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  if we don’t discuss it as above, in lit any other case i’d say “well there are other blogs to follow” but since i’m like 99% sure i’m the only gerson blog that isn’t applicable lmao; the point still stands that everyone has the freedom to write a character as they wish. there are valid reasons to dislike a portayal but not a lot of valid reasons to attack someone for it - with the exception of ppl being gross. stop that, nasty.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  strangely. it’s not my job to make people like a character, you either like them or not. if you dislike them for unreasonable points then, to leave in the previous response, “clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.”

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  of course, as long as it’s polite and all that jazz!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  depends on the meaning - i like making new friends and i find it easy to talk to new people, be it about roleplay or other things like organizing video game play sessions. however, i also have on multiple occasions have approached ppl privately saying “this is annoying/this is problematic/this is inappropriate, stop” and been met with general disdain for voicing such so Who Knows..... (tm). at least on a private level. here, publicly, i’m pretty relaxed! memes and jokes are abound. as long as a person can be mature and responsible for their actions we can vibe, yo.

[shinrasfirst]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO. (I mean? I’m not sure? I hope he will be more important, but as it is, he could have been cut out of Part 1 of the remake.)

Were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (Except that he kinda saved him.. I can’t answer these questions, I am so biased.)

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (?)

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask, I’d say!

How strictly do you follow canon?

There isn’t much canon to go on, first of all. I am taking what I can get and expand on it. There’s probably some stuff about him that I don’t know, because I am notoriously bad at researching things properly, and also I forget stuff. So.. he’s canon-based as much as possible, but then majorly fleshed out by my own ideas because otherwise he’d be a very two-dimensional character.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He’s wild and fun and crazy and could make for some interesting threads---

He is actually compatible with a lot of muses because he technically works for Shinra, but then doesn’t seem to give a lot of fucks about his employment status, meaning he can also work with the other side without me having to change his setting much.

He’s gorgeous. Look at him.

He is flirty and easy to smut with.

He has a completely unknown backstory that could be explored c;

Did you see that ass?

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  

He’s a bit nuts. If you’re looking for a predictable, soft, sweet romance or friendship, he is not your guy.

He'll probably die young. And there shall be angst and pain.

I’ve seen some people really reduce him to a maniac to lives on the road to attack random people. If that’s your idea of Roche then I am sure you wouldn’t be looking for threads with him~

He is tough to write love/romance with. Like proper romance.

He has a completely unknown backstory.. so my version might differ greatly from what you have in mind.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

I played the Remake and driving on those motorcycles was insane but kind of fun - and then shows up this guy who just drove right into my heart as soon as he popped up on the screen, laughing like a mediocre villain from YuGiOh. I thought that was all it was going to be, but I was thrilled to see that it wasn’t. I just love this character. I rewatched his fight scenes with Cloud a hundred times. He is so.. peculiar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then I saw a bit more of him on tumblr, fanarts and such, and I wanted to give it a shot :)

What keeps your inspiration going? 

New headcanons about him that pop into my head. Finding other people who love him and talking to them & rping with them! Like with all muses, I tend to love them even more the longer I play them, compared to when I start out, because new stories around them develop, I get a clearer image of their character and backstory in my head, and new plans for their future :) On a more to-the-point level: quotes, poems, music, images, all those things give me inspiration. Also similar characters in other media, or stories that fit Roche and that I can recycle and reform into part of his.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. According to whom? I am alright with the way I write him, or I’d be doing it differently. Would Square Enix think I am doing a good job? Idk. Do other Roche rpers think I am? Idk. Does it matter? As long as there are people who enjoy writing with my version of him, I am doing my job, I think :) There are Roche portrayals I find “better” than mine in some ways, more developed, but I don’t really compare myself in that way. 

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.  

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. Yes and now because while I stand to the way I write all my muses, Roche in particular is one I haven’t fully developed yet. There are things about his story I am still unsure about or have no clear ideas for yet. So, I’m not feeling insecure when I write him, but I am not overly confident in throwing him in any situation, because something might come up that’ll require me to think harder that I’d have to while playing.. e.g. Rufus.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. I’m no Rowling, I’m no Tolkien, I know that. But I think my writing is alright. I try to put some internal thoughts in my replies, describe the scene abit, offer some dialogue if applicable, and move the action forward. I am not writing a book here, I am writing something interactive, so my partner is my main concern aside from telling the story. I do feel like I’m doing an okay job at that, so in that sense I am confident in my writing.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. I’m not entirely sure what this is referring to, but generally I’d say no. I can deal with most topics, it’s pretty hard to offend me, I’m open to most things, and there are very few issues I feel like they can’t be solve with just talking about them.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

It depends? I almost never get constructive criticism. What I absolutely accept is things like.. someone correcting mistakes I’ve made in terms of timelines or canon facts, because I am lazy by default and tend to not research something well and just wing it. So it might be that I’ll put some fake news into my threads that I have no problem with if someone corrects - actually, please do, I’ll gladly fix it. (Especially if they’re relevant to your muse.)

If someone dislikes a headcanon of mine or something that is particular to my portrayal of Roche, that’s really not something I aspire to change. I have my ideas of him and everyone else has their own. If a friend came to me and told me a certain headcanon of mine makes no sense because of the canon storyline or whatever, and it sounded valid to me, I’d consider that. That wouldn’t offend me. If someone just told me they dislike an idea I had, that is the kind of criticism I don’t really accept. That’s not criticism to me, that is a personal opinion that we disagree on. It’s not my problem if someone dislikes my portrayal, they don’t have to interact with it. I take no offense in that, unless it’s reported to me in a rude manner.

With regard to my writing? I don’t ask for criticism and I don’t really want it either. I know what areas I have to work on in order to improve, I don’t need anyone to give me pointers there. I have enough of that in my academic papers at university ;) This is a hobby, so I’m trying to have a good time and good plays with others, I’m not trying to win any awards. However, if I post a reply my partners aren’t sure how to work with (e.g. they need more dialogue, or more action) I am absolutely willing to edit it, no problem. Also, not just on tumblr/in the RPC but in general, people are really really REALLY bad at giving constructive criticism. It never ceases to amaze me how much people suck at that. Like I said, I don’t get offended easily, but it makes me laugh sometimes (e.g. after presentations at uni) how horrible the feedback comes across sometimes. And then everyone gets butthurt and I once again marvel at the fact that no lecturer ever gives advice on how to give good feeback. (I guess because a lot of lecturers can’t do it either.)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  

Absolutely! It helps a lot. Sometimes it’s a real challenge, but those are necessary and very welcome while developing a character. Other people often think of things I didn’t even consider, so I welcome it when they come into my askbox with these questions :)

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? 

Maybe? If it was a friend or an rp partner, I’d hear them out for sure. If it was someone I don’t even write with.. maybe not. Like, what’s the point? Clearly I made up my mind about it, so why would you come to me to inform me that you see it differently? Go right ahead, neither one of us writes these games, so both our versions are equally right or wrong. If it’s about something that could lead to an interesting discussion, though? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I'd say some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla. That’s okay. I’m not trying to please everyone on tumblr, I’m here to write what I want to write and if just one other person likes my portrayal, that can be enough for me :) If someone dislikes my portrayal, they’re free not to interact with me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  

I’ve written more characters that were absolutely despised by a good chunk of the fandoms I was in, than characters who were loved, I think. I couldn’t care less. If someone hates Roche - or any of my muses - that’s their thing and has nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t feel the need to inform me about it or send me hate over it, what’s it to me? I don’t need people to like my favorite characters, it has no influence on how I feel.

But also.. why would you hate Roche? Look at him, he’s amazing :D

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  

Sure. English isn’t my first language, I’m sure I make mistakes all the time. I’m not embarrassed by that, everyone makes mistakes, even people whose first language is English. That being said, don’t go weeding through my posts looking for mistakes, because I won’t go back and fix them in most cases, so it’s really a waste of time~

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I think so. I’m pretty relaxed most of the time, and I try to be polite and kind in any situation that comes up. I don’t get offended unless you’re accusing me of something I didn’t do, twist my words, insult my friends, or act like a total brat. Before I start a war with someone, I’ll usually withdraw myself from the situation. I am pro-unfollowing/blocking if I dislike someone. I would never send anon hate or write a call out. I’m not here for that. I think we should all try to be kinder than we feel, we should all show respect for others and tolerate differences, and we should try to treat people the way we want to be treated. Live and let live.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  stole it. Tagging: anyone who’d like!

[brinytrolls]

if you’re open to plotting something new, what are some ideas you might want to explore with someone??

i am always open to plotting!! let me see what i can find, i’ll organise it by character,,,no dancestors for now but if u wanted to plot with one of them, feel free to send another ask!! 

i dont really have any DETAILED plot ideas, these are more just starting points..sadly none of my ocs rly have future arcs planned out so these are all pretty casual...and these are not an exhaustive list! im open to any and all plot ideas so pls dont be afraid to ask!! 

for faldur,, 

he’s always open for ex matesprits or ex kismesis, as well as casual pitch flings. theres pretty much no guidelines for these ones, if it’s someone who’d be interested in him, and they’re jade or above, it’s fair game! 

an ex mate might be someone who found him too intense and broke up with him, someone who indulged his narcissism and boosted his ego til his other quads were forced to intervene, or something else entirely, as long as there was a reason they had to break up (i currently dont want him to have a red quad 4 Reasons) 

kismesis flings…hes open to anything. he hangs around bars often and will flirt with Anyone he finds attractive, so if someones open to that kinda thing its good to go. this could also lead to general friendships! he has no friends currently. boo 

on the topic of friends, book friends! a little known fact is he spends a lot of time on book forums, and someone to geek out over books with would be a nice change of pace. 

bitchy highblood friends. just like a bitchy seadweller squad would be fun, tbh. 

enemies! got a seadweller who would find him obnoxious? hell yeah! enemies is pretty open ended, i’d be willing to have faldur fucked up to teach him a lesson (within reason, he IS a seadweller and he is strong. he does fight a lot) alternatively, u got a lowblood (or highblood tbh) who needs a reason to be afraid of seadwellers? faldur attacks ppl who so much as look at him funny, so thats a valid option too

MAFIA TIES…faldur works as an assassin for when people need something really fucked up done to someone. do with that what u will

OH I JUST REMEMBERED fleet recruiters/anyone from the fleet/similar organisation who sees potential in him. faldurs constantly torn between redemption and leaving it all behind to join the fleet, so that could be interesting! 

theres definitely more but…tbh im welcome to anyone approaching me with ANY plot ideas they have! 

will do the rest under the cut bc that got LONG 

I WROTE THIS ALL OUT AND FORGOT HARREL 

BIG ONE IS just other mafia trolls!!

mafia bosses/hitmen who would hire him. who are doing jobs on the downlow, and need a cleanup guy! harrel is very good at his job so he’s highly regarded within the business 

especially mean mafia ppl. be mean to him. its part of his character hes anxious bc the mafia is mean 

no specifics, but i want harrel to just get Fucked Up. like i said, he’s highly regarded so holding him for ransom isn’t out of the question. just fuck this nerd up 

on a lighter note! he frequents record shops and jazz clubs, so maybe a musician or two with similar interests to help him get out of his shell. he needs a friend or two. 

friends from university! anyone in sciences, forensics, medical science, criminal studies…he probably studied with them! his backstory is that he disappeared from university one day when he got kidnapped by a mafia boss, and managed to wrangle his way into them keeping him alive. an old friend who noticed and is suddenly Very Confused upon seeing him again like 5 years later 

someone he went to uni with who’s now in the law industry, and the conflict that might arise from them being on two totally different ends of the spectrum…could be a fun dynamic! 

on the same wavelength: old flames from university. ex quadrants, ex hookups, ex crushes. people he was romantically involved with before suddenly disappearing 

i think thats all…

forrr sarky! 

no real quad stuff needed for him…perhaps an ex or two, but no real ideas there! 

other grubtubers to be friends with, or fans who’ve met/would want to meet him! grubtube is a HUGE part of his life and i’ve never really been able to explore it, bc he has no connections involved with it. u got a grubtuber troll who’d collab with him? a troll who enjoys letsplays? a weird youtuber superfan who’d give their right arm to meet a letsplayer? fuck yea dude all valid options 

PETTY INTERNET DRAMA. im sure theres potential

sarky IS a shifter, meaning he turns into a weird dragon monster in the dead of night on a full…moons (idk how that works on alternia,,,hello???) u got a troll who’d stop him when they catch him stumbling shirtless thru the city streets post-shift towards a local diner at 4am weirdly covered in scars and looing like he’s about to pass out?? a poor overworked diner worker wondering what the Fuck this dudes deal is when he stumbles in at 5am before cramming his face full of meat?? a troll who hangs out in the wilderness bordering the city and saw the horrific sight of this fuzzy teal bitch shifting into a giant dragon?? or just a fellow shifter perhaps?? idk theres a lot that can be done here, im sure 

apartment neighbours! disgruntled highblood a floor below him wondering why this bitch keeps scaling the building?? or someone who thinks its pretty sick, actually. 

fellow city dwellers for him to meet and befriend or annoy the shit out of…he takes the subway a lot, so they can meet there. or in some greasy food place

connected to faldur, any ex quads of faldurs that had to be intervened with and broken up, sarky was probably involved. if u want them to be bitter towards him, feel free. it makes for more interest >:3c 

florem time…………..

GET FLOREM A GIRLFRIEND 2K20…PLEASE. i just want her to have a girlfriend. its what she deserves and we all know it 

get her FRIENDS TOO....friends who will support her, and her weird hobbies. florem has a tendency to help other people and forget about her own needs, so itd be nice for her to have a friend who listens to her too... 

perhaps a troll who stumbles upon her weird troll-eating plant. a fellow enthusiast or some poor soul she has to rescue, either or 

a fellow taxidermy enthusiast....maybe a pen pal who buys stuff from whatever the troll equivalent of etsy is 

camping buddy...............she has no one to go camping with!!

im sadly low on ideas for florem but i DO want interactions with her...

veleno tiem babey

she needs a gf in every single goddamn quad.....shes 100% single 

a Bunch of highbloods who were cocky enough to gamble against her, and are incredibly mad about losing. highbloods out for vengeance 

on the same wavelength, a highblood who lost and got incredibly mad and fucked her face up, giving her all them scars....vel would avoid them for the rest of her life, but perhaps its someone who frequents the same casinos as she does so she cant avoid em 4 Extra Drama 

other down on their luck lowbloods, maybe younger ones, who need her help bc shes Experienced. she can become their Street Mom 

other down on their luck lowbloods for her to just befriend!! she frequents a shitty diner, as well as singing in a jazz club and hanging around in casinos. if youve got a lowblood who hangs around in those places they could def meet! 

i THINK thats all i got...but know i am more than open to literally Any plot suggestion ever >:3c

[anarcho-decepticonism]

we fixed hsm

here are our 3 page fanfic plans

Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship

Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate

Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)

Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives

Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”

After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it

Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)

Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.

Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.

Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things

Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with

Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)

We did it. we fixed high school musical

[unctions]

1. Are you named after anyone? nah, my mom just wanted to have a z name, she said it sounded cool.

2. When was the last time you cried? hm.. i think it was when i finished my teaching program, specifically when i drove home from my student teaching placement on the last day. so, few months. there’ve been a million almost-cries since then though.

3. Do you have any kids? no. wait. how old is tumblr now, can you ask this question??

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? i like dry humor, and i like extending jokes and stuff, but i hate hate hate hate humor that seeks to demean or belittle people. so i stick with self-depricating humor mostly if not absurd stuff. i love being absurd, but Serious, and dragging it out for a Long While. it’s fun!! and like a puzzle. i feel like it’s the best use of my english degree.

5. Eye color? mine? blue! blue blue. i’m learning i really like my eyes!

6. Scary movie or happy ending? scary movies are growing on me!! but i guess i prefer the happier ending? i really like movies that are just There.

7. Special talents? i know too much about games and books. i have an approximate knowledge of many things. i think my best talent is being able to talk to anyone and be interested/interesting?? idk. i’m a good people person!! i’m learning this is a talent! i believe people, even people who are difficult or mean, are very interesting and deserve my attention (even if they also deserve a fair bit of reprimanding). i think that i value this because i value my writing and i want to absorb every interaction i ever have so i can channel that later.

8. Where were you born? southern orange county california. unremarkable suburban franchise-hell.

9. Do you have any hobbies? i readdddd read read, i write, i play a lot of games for the first 10~ hours and think about them for the rest of my life without finishing them, i love and have been really into film/cinema for the last four-ish years, i drink a helluva lot of coffee, i like to talk talk talk talk talk

10. Do you have any pets? my baby is a sweet evil sharp child named lucifur/baby/babbis/barabus/barnabus/bunkus/bunko/bubbins/bublo/binko/babby. she is a chartreux cat, and is lovely lovely lovely and the meanest being on earth. the only creature on earth who loves me as i am!!! and hates me!!!!!!

11. What sports have/do you play? i ran cross country in high school. over 10 years ago now. that’s it. i played the ring-fit for the switch for like a month and stopped. being active... it’s difficult..........

12. How tall are you? uh.. 5.. 6? 5′6″?? i think. idk. i don’t remember the last time i checked that or my weight. they bother me. like, i don’t see the point, not that i’m too messed up about it.

13. Favorite subject in school? english and marine ecology!!!!!!! i really really wanted to pursue marine biology or bathymetry or something ocean-related for years, but i didn’t have the patience (or brains) for all the science required before i got to the Good Stuff. i was notoriously bad at science throughout high school, but the context of marine life in my oceanography class made it all.. idk, click?? and i was top in my class. i miss it.. but hell no yeah i love english, i’m a stupid sucker for stories and bizarre narratives and dead authors and living authors and weird language tricks.

14. Dream job? if i could make a living being kind to people and helping them with mundane tasks and talking to them about Whatever, that’d be great. today i had this lovely 20 minute interaction with a customer at my coffee shop that filled me with Hope and Energy and made me Excited to be Alive (and it was reciprocated!! which was part of why i felt so validated), and i really, really wish i could be paid to give that same thing to people. other than that, i wish i could summon at will the perseverance required to do any sort of long-form writing consistently. i love writing, but i do so in phases and it pisses me off that i while away so much time doing other things.. but maybe i’m absorbing more experience? idk. i’d love to write so many things. novels. weird blogs. criticism. i’m a mess. i haven’t been Sold on any given thing since i wanted to be a paleontologist in elementary school.

15. Tagging? if you’re reading this and going “nice”, please do it and then tag me if i’m not already following you so i can see it! thanks for sharing @floraleevee

[janiedean]

Your mom should have aborted you. Too bad she was a crackwhore that was too stupid to use a condom, let alone get an abortion.

I’m wondering, anon, given that other thing you sent me as well.... do your parents love you? no because I mean I have a feeling you’re wildly projecting here. I’m honestly sorry if they didn’t love you enough that you have to go on the internet sending people you don’t know this specific type of bullshit just to feel validated or to get approval from whoever sent you or whatever is your problem but honestly, if I were you I’d ask for for professional help, I can assure you it’s illuminating when you want to solve your issues with your parents. really, anon. it’s way more helpful than sending people anon hate, I assure you. ;)

also assuming that this is yours as well (because I’m blocking the shit out of you the moment I post this):

my darling, the last time someone sent me this ask, 90% of non-american tumblr went like ‘wtf do you live it’s culturally expected in half of the planet to not leave the house when you turn eighteen’ so you’re already showing your us-centrism in all the worst ways, but like....... I know people who earn 2k per month who still live with their parents and obsess over fictional characters and people who have moved out, have kids and still obsess over fictional characters. my damn uncle is older than fifty, has a fairly good job, has lived on his own for years/has a life and most likely reads buffy/spike fic in his free time last that I checked. I could leave (and most likely will don’t worry) the moment I can economically afford it and fyi I pay the bills even living here, but I suppose that you’ve never paid one in your life, huh?

also, exceedingly heteronormative and absolutely not out of the fifties of you to assume that if a woman has to be fulfilled and whatnot she needs to find a husband and stop worrying about her hobbies. like. that’s real progressive of you anon, I’m mindboggled, my own grandmother who turned 90 last year is more progressive than you. idk, I’d be worried about how much you’re spouting misogynistic rhetoric from the fifties - at least you didn’t tell me I should have had children already but man if you did you’d have just hit the jackpot, hm?

what’s pathetic is sending people this kind of bullshit without even putting your face to it, but of course you wouldn’t :D and if you’re who I think of or were sent by who I think of..... guys, didn’t you get your fill in november? because I thought you realized then that you were out of line - ah, no, wait, I forgot you harassed some mutuals after, if it’s you. how grown-up, huh?

jesus, can’t imagine what y’all are going to be like in two weeks. ;) get lost, how about that?