#and i'm also the ELDEST
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TUMBLR. I AM ONE OF YOU I NEED YOUR HELP
Hey Tumblr!
I'm Nerdy but you've probably seen me around a fair bit if you're in the roleplay community on here [I've had a slew of blogs based on various characters, like five multimuse blogs-- I've been here since 2012] or if you're in the Artemis Fowl fandom [and possibly in the *official* fandom discord?].
I've been around the block a few times. I'm a fandom nerd and I ran a fairly popular Doctor Who panel in the midwest [OH, PA, MI area] back in the day! I pioneered LGBT+ panels at anime cons in the midwest back in like 2012 [and even helped cons in the area set up quiet/safe rooms around the same time, for my neurodivergent buds]. I ran panels and like-- did a LOT. Including cosplay!
I am calling on y'all for a hero because I need some help.
My mom's in the hospital with some nasty tumor in her stomach. It's huge-- like huge huge. She's got a history of cancer and needs emergency surgery. I'm the only kid she's got around in the immediate to help her and like-- there's already a shit ton of other shit that needs to be covered.
She's sixty six and still works full time. She raised three very rowdy boys and while we had a really rough relationship growing up-- but she has shown me unconditional love and support since I came out. She's the only parent I got and I'm terminally ill and disabled.
HOWEVER, I have a particular set of super cool skills and I want to put them to use. So I'm happy to provide voices, drabbles, and shit-tier doodles for anyone who contributes. And if you can't that's TOTALLY FINE-- take care of YOU first! If you've got a Tiktik I just ask you share THIS VIDEO HERE. To spread the word. My mom got me into Trek which led the way to all my nerdy fandom interests. Also like whole ass I'm not a bot I am a flesh and blood human being who went from being a full time nanny to being hella ill in the span of like a few years.
I still love this goofy community and all you SUPER COOL NERDS!
SINCERELY--
a fellow nerd
#;;ooc#;;rebloggable#so uh if anyone wants to share a post it'll be this one if you want#i made a tiktik so folks can share it that way#i seriously need to sleep but OPE I CAN'T I'M TOO WORRIED#my mom's beaten cancer before but this is uh#A LOT#and i'm her only kid she's got in the area so like it's all on ME#and i'm also the ELDEST#tumor tw#cancer tw#medical tw
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The batkids encountering distressed children and calling them "sweetheart", subconsciously mimicking how Bruce would and will call them sweetheart when they're distressed, and not even realizing it?? Don't speak to me. I can't.
#I was specifically thinking about dick doing this#and it being particularly emotional bc he's the eldest child. the one who had to step in and be batman for while#the one who's practically like a second parent to his siblings and just like.#smth about it hits hard.#bc dick is very different from bruce but he's the eldest so he's also more similar to bruce than anyone in the family cares to admit#and when dick uses that nickname. for a moment the family just sees bruce#and it's heart wrenchingly beautiful#I'm not convinced I conveyed my thoughts well at all but oh well I tried#dc#dc comics#batman comics#batman#batman meta#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#dc robin#jason todd#jason todd wayne#red hood#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#tim drake wayne#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#damian al ghul#cassandra cain
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Shout out to Cishet White Teenager Christopher Paolini for realizing that if you give people infinite time, a completely non-judgemental society, and the power to change their bodies any way they want, lots of people are gonna start doing Freaky Anthro Transgenderism on themselves.
Like yeah, if I had the option I'd probably turn myself into a bizzare eldritch creature too
#eragon#inheritance cycle#eldest#this is the same book where Eragon gets his Magical Elf HRT so yk#i think you can actually do a pretty compelling transgender reading of Eragon's story.#how even though he lost things through his transformation it also saved him#how he's now inherently something between the world of elves and humans#and is regarded as Other wherever he goes#seen as something between an oddity and an abomination#but how those closest to him know that he's still the person they loved even though he's changed#sorry I'm reading into the kid's dragon books again. unfortunately they're permanently welded to my soul and I will never be free#1k
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noticing in your vents—
is your sister okay too?
We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.
#messyr#vent post#we have separate fams and both of us are the eldest. She mostly stays at mother side and I stay at my father's although dad is never home.#The rest of the members in my father side can put quips here and there to make her feel guilty and she does get guilty mostly about money#I ALSO provide them and HER financial support while also trying to pay for myself. I'm VERY exhausted.#unlike me she's not caged up here- but with a few restrictions still#while im BOUND to my family (father side) and they always target me so that's a pretty neat deal than seeing my sister suffer the same#just thinking of it makes me want to throw up HAHAH#there are times- she does things by action or words that makes me feel like- yknow. she loves me back. that's enough for me
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"someone somewhere needs help with something and I'm not there to fix it, this makes me guilty of Bad Person disease" <- stupid thought I really need to stop having
#It's not all bad because I Love helping ppl out i just sometim WAIT..... I have a lil saviour complex I think lmao#Eldest daughter/fix-it/saviour complex. See who needs therapists I got this shit in the bag#alda rambling#(I'm just musing this is not a vent post. Also I look cute so not that down)
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Madame Yu would never but oh for one fic where she packs up the kids and flees the jurisdiction. Jiang Cheng and Yanli would be so upset and miss Wei Wuxian and their father and you know, their home & community. Jiang Fengmian feels like he's taken a truck to the face (thanks truck-kun). Wei Wuxian is sure it's all his fault and is deeply distressed. Madame Yu is probably literally possessed. But still. It sucks! leave! Hit the bricks! listen to the meme skeleton that has taken up residence in your head.
#i'm picturing her eldest sister like well yuanyuan would never which must mean things are unspeakably bad guess we're going to war with a#great sect actually. unfortunate#maybe we can stall and pretend it's an extended visit bcs one of the children had fallen terribly ill#and er-jie like nono we'll just assassinate him and put a-cheng on the throne#madame jin will help!#we never liked him anyway#eventually they find out she's possessed and it's like ooops very embarrassing for us and also you#but like it would be more embarrassing to call it off at this point?#you don't really like him do you?#we can tell#and then she has to go rescue him from the assassins and like#frame wen ruohan or something i don't know
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Me, fully prepared to be a little ass: If I were a horrible person and killed a bunch of people, would you report me to the police? lol
My older brother: Even if you were a monster, i'd protect you. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to hate or punish you. You turning out that way would be my fault because I should've been a better sibling. In the end, you'll always be my responsibility, and more importantly, my younger brother. I'll always love you.
Me, about to fucking bawl my eyes out: Hey what the fuck
so anyways after careful consideration and recollecting, that's how i came to the devastating realization that my older brother was a yue qingyuan kinnie.
#it was smth like that#sometimes i'm like ''wow are peoples older brothers usually so rodrick-y or asshole-y??'' and i look at my older brother#who gets sad when i don't want him to buy anything for me#also it was things like#'im to blame so don't worry about it ok?' 'it was my fault so dont worry. do you want to eat out?' etc#and i was like ''man this sounds like some yqy dialogue'' and boom#yes he's the eldest#he's like... way older than me lol#anyways i love my big bro sm#hes a very good brother#last week he treated me out to ice cream and ramen#we're about to finish arcane together!!#those rare times when i don't wanna hang out with him he has the energy of a sopping wet puppy that just got kicked#yue qingyuan#svsss
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I'm trying really hard not to just be The Complainer because that's an energy I don't want to bring here when I love (present tense; I rewatch it like 5 times a day) arcane season 1 so much but does anyone remember when powder was taken in by silco and being raised by this very utilitarian merciless 'the ends justify the means' type character made jinx turn out violent and merciless as well. and vi was horrified by her and the lanes were terrified of her and piltover was falling over itself trying to scapegoat her as the one bad apple of the undercity to kid themselves into believing that everyone else was perfectly fine with being treated as less than. and that contrasts vi after vander etc. died because she was raised by him and internalised the idea that no one wins in war and fighting back against systemic oppression isn't worth the damage it causes to your own community which is why she ended up working with cait and the council like vander worked with grayson. the people who raised them shaped them into who they are today but then in season 2 jinx has a daughter and she's suddenly completely normal and well adjusted and her attachment style isn't digging her nails in until she draws blood at all. like What. what happened. didn't things used to mean something
#arcane#arcane critical#powder was raised by vi more than vander#she barely spoke to him#and powder always cared more about vi's reaction than the dead parents on the ground 2 feet away from her#which does a lot to explain 'I am the monster you created' when season 1 was so heavy on children being shaped by their parents#vi did eldest daughter syndrome too hard. vander told her it was her fault if things went wrong and then most of her family died#vi having a momentary bad reaction to her little sister causing all of this and realising that vander was right about violence#because she's so used to it that she just hit powder in the face and made her nose bleed and it seeped into every aspect of her life#and needing to step away for a moment and just feel and cry and be a child#ruined everything and it's always framed as her 'abandoning' powder (which I understand how powder would see it that way#because I'm such a youngest sister that's my first thought too. I have to remind myself that's Not What's Happening. also powder has bpd#she demonstrably cannot handle what she perceives as rejection or abandonment or betrayal or the truth being withheld)#vi has to do So Much. why is everything her fault. I so adore how much she wants to look after powder because of course she does#but jinx isn't seven anymore. she doesn't want to be treated like the helpless little girl she was that day. she's an adult#she had to nuke the council for vi to understand that she isn't the same anymore#and she's responsible for her own actions#ITS ALL SO GOOD ITS SOSOSOSO GOOD I LOVE SISTERS#*correction: I believe jinx is vaguely a teenager in s1. not an adult (being imprisoned by piltover would be as wrong as when she was 7)#but not vi's kid sister anymore either
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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This holiday season, I am BEGGING you guys to be aware of and kind to the guests at your house who are afraid of /uncomfortable around / allergic to animals.
#if you don't grow up with animals. having an animal in the space you're in (especially a poorly trained one that WILL jump on you when you#sit down) is a very uncomfortable experience and I'm tired of acting like I'm okay with it#my cousins actually brought their new puppy to thanksgiving and we had to explain to them that we can't have their dog out of his cage#because my mom's allergic to dog hair and can't have dog hair all over the not puppyproofed home she lives in#as the acting eldest daughter i've grown more accustomed to animals in defense of my siblings#since I'm more okay with dogs i have to hold the leash when my aunt brings her dog on a bus tour unannounced and i have to stand between a#four foot dog that is jumping and barking at us and my siblings#one night when we stopped on my way to college i didn't even sleep much because i had to make sure the cats that were in the room my littl#e brother and i were sleeping in didn't climb on him in the middle of the night#like this may seem like a 'oh just deal with it!' but you CANNOT 'just deal with' it. that's not how fear works.#i have more thoughts on this matter but i will keep them to myself unless asked#kazzy has opinions (rare)#kazzy rants in the tags#but i will also add that i very distinctly remember my three year old brother crying and shaking with fear as my grandpa and my uncle forced#him to pet a dog and wouldn't let go of him or let him down until he had pet the dog and it still makes me cry to this day
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I'm an only child and also the eldest grandchild of all my grandparents, but specifically grew up closest to my mother's family and was also the only grandchild on that side for 12 years. That means that my oldest cousin is, of course, 12 years younger than I am, and the others only get younger from there, and I held them all as babies.
I've returned to the spawning grounds (the area of rural Oregon where I was born and where a bunch of my maternal extended family live) for a family get-together, and tragedy has struck, beyond being trapped in rural Oregon.
My beloved youngest cousin (more like a nephew; his mother, my mother's much younger sister, is only 5 years older than me and he's 24 years my junior) came excitedly running up to see me. I went over to hug him ... and for the first time, he's noticeably taller than me, too. My middle cousins are super tall including my oldest cousin's sister (17 years younger than me and like, 5'10" to my 5'4") and my maternal aunts and uncles will never have more children. The circle is now complete :(
#i don't know if this is better or worse than the eldest daughters whose siblings are all taller than them... rip me though#also the oldest cousin is here with his wife(!) and adorable little daughter (!!!!!) and he's about 6'5" so i'm really feeling it#me squinting up at my ex-baby cousin as he inhales junk food: *resists the urge to say 'how you get so big eating food of this kind?!'*#anghraine babbles#elder millennial blogging#family#imagine you're the only child AND only grandchild for 12 years and then get these tiny adorable babies in the family over 10+ years#and they all grow into giants. except me. specifically.
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for @queer-ragnelle May Day Parade. May 17-21: Grumpy Month of Kay {Seneschal Celebration}
I have been here since before you became yourself: a collection of Kays (and Arthurs)
Chulhwch and Olwen / Camelot (2011) ep. 1 / Vulgate Cycle: The Story of Merlin / La Morte D'Arthur (Sir Thomas Malory) / The Once and Future King, book 1 The Sword in the Stone (TH White) / Sir Kay's coat of arms / Matthew 16:19 / Under cover of darkness (The Strokes) / Arthur of the Britons (1972) ep. 3 / Vulgate Cycle / Camelot (2011) / Icarus (The Crane Wives) / Idylls of the queen (Phyllis Ann Karr) / Hey Brother (Aviicii) / The High History of the Holy Graal (aka Perlesvaus), trans. Sebastian Evans / Camelot (2011) / Alliterative Morte Arthure, trans. Richard Scott-Robinson / Icarus (The Crane Wives)
#may day parade#arthuriana#sir kay#mine#i'm obsessed with arthuriana brothers you don't know how much#anyways here it is!!! I know st peter kay parallelisms something something but i can't articulate ok just read matthew 16 17-20#if i could make gifs i'd put one wih kay and arthur fighting dirty in arthur of the britons. instead you get a screencap!#also IGNORE the context of the perlesvaus like i did please and thank you (it's all st peter parallelisms until it starts being#judas parallelisms i guess but back to the thing ignore the contents of the perlesvaus for this post <3)#as an Estremely Tired eldest daughter who also works in administration for a living i feel kay the seneschal in my BONES
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Where did mechi get his mechlink?
In my idea for his background, Mechi applied for a mechlink on his homeworld (one of the more developed urbworlds) and, after what probably felt like an achingly long period of review, was approved for it!
Probably the only person more excited about it than Mechi was his baby sister Yamka.
Also, the description of mechlinks on the RimWorld wiki made me grimace at how uncomfortable it sounded. I bet Yamka had a ball teasing Mechi about it, and I'm sure he had one hell of a headache for a few days after it was first installed.
#asks#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#Yamka is so proud of her big brother#but also likes teasing him#I'm told little sisters enjoy that#I wouldn't know#I'm the eldest sister and therefore perfect so#But yeah#Mechi has a government-issued mechlink lol#though I guess it's not impossible that he tweaked it to his own liking before or after installing it#he's very tech-savvy like that after all#you guys have gotta stop sending asks that make me wanna write whole comic books!!#I'll never get around to doing the main story at this point lmao#jk jk these asks are so fun and I LOVE them!#send more pls :3#thanks for the asks!!#have a splendid day! xoxoxo
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Feel free to ignore this, but I have to ask since I've been rewatching yugioh 5ds and you're one of the very few blogs I've searched that mentioned Satellite Bros age order. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and if you know other blogs that talk about it.
WHY WOULD I EVER IGNORE THIS ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS. THANK YOU SO MUCH <3
*takes deep breath* ok SO
Word of god canon is that the age order is Jack (19), Yusei (18), and Crow (17), at the start of the series.
But while you can make an argument that Yusei would have records, people who knew when he was born, or at least a birth certificate, Jack and Crow are orphans. If Jack is indeed 19, then he would have been roughly a year old when Zero Reverse happened, likely killing his parents, at the very least destroying a massive amount of city infrastructure. You tell me Jack knows his birthday and I press (X) to doubt.
Crow is apparently canonically younger than Yusei, but. His parents also died in Zero Reverse.
This. This straight up does not work.
Also Yusei is shown to be a baby when Zero Reverse occurred and if Crow's parents did indeed die in Zero Reverse when he was under a year old he there is NO WAY he would live much longer than that. That's just. How babies work.
CROW HOGAN HAS TO BE OLDER THAN YUSEI.
I will die on this hill. I watched the show thinking Crow was the middle brother and then learned their apparent canon ages after because he has to be older than Yusei for any of his backstory to make sense. Konami can fight me on this.
NARRATIVELY they are the middle and youngest child. Jack has Past motifs, Crow is Present, and Yusei is Future. Jack and Yusei's whole dynamic is the most oldest sibling vs youngest sibling drama possible.
As for Jack, I always like to think it was his birthday like, a week before Yusei leaves Satellite, because being a Newly Minted Twenty Year Old explains everything about his personality.
#jack and crow straight up dont have birth certificates#interesting note about Yusei's birthday: it is also apparently the same day as Zero Reverse. Which also just cant be true.#I choose to interpret that as the day Martha found Yusei and thats what all her kids celebrate instead of birthdays#and at some point Yusei just forgot thats not the actual day he was born#Im sorry konami if I'm not meant to read Yusei as the youngest of the three#why have Jack and Crow shelter him from physical and emotional abuse until they have to leave him for their own reasons#leaving Yusei in a dangerous home situation that he was previously unaware of because the other two functioned as a shield#HUH KONAMI???????????#Jack is SO eldest sibling coded#Crow is SO middle child coded#Yusei is SO youngest brother coded#I like to think Goodwin forged Jacks documents and made him like a year younger on paper just to screw with him#yugioh#yugioh 5ds#ygo 5ds#ygo#5ds#asks#answered asks#yusei fudo#jack atlas#crow hogan
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My mom, talking politics even when i told her not to: THERE IS NO FUTURE!! THE COUNTRY WILL BE DESTROYED, NOTHING WILL BE LEFT!! ONLY THOSE WHO CAN LEAVE WILL SURVIVE!! AND WE CAN'T LEAVE, SO THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR PEOPLE LIKE US BUT ENDLESS SUFFERING AND DESPAIR!!
Also my mom: Why do you want to kill yourself, you stupid coward?
#someone please kill milei already#i'm sick of this#not only i have my own depression to battle with but also be the dumpster of all my mother's anxieties#because eldest daughter#while finding no understandment and no kindness for my own struggles at the other side
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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