#and i'm 100% incapable of doing that i just can't

[allbuthuman]

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[midesastremanifiesto]

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[agirlwithglam]

Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?

yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:

how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)

believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.

start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!

treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.

reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.

alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.

EDIT:

Please remember that if ur actually sick or genuinely feeling really low, remember to rest!! Remember to take time to relax and slow down. Take care of yourself honey <3

thats it for now! i hope this helped <3

btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)

[brucewaynehater101]

As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.

Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)

I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.

As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.

I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.

The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).

Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.

I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.

I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).

I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.

Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!

[annabelle--cane]

Hey so I'm not good at subtext and I saw you posting about ep 200 of TMA being awesome. I've listened to it a few times and I'm mostly...confused? I don't understand what happened

(I mean, I get what Martin did to Jon, but nothing other than that)

Would you mind explaining why it's impactful to you?

honestly the main standout thing that makes it really shine to me is the soundscaping and vocal editing, and I've seen people take that as an indirect snide comment about the writing before but it really isn't, the entire scene in the panopticon just sounds gorgeous. the distortion and static on jon's voice, the underscoring of the statement, the way jon and martin's dialogue pops out from the sounds of the crumbling tower, it's just. aaaaaaaaaa. I find it really pleasant to listen to, if you've only listened through speakers then I'd 100% recommend trying it with headphones, it is simply very pretty and well made.

from the story side, it's beat after beat of ultimate catharsis for threads and arcs that have been set up for the whole show.

jon going ham and just really brutally killing jonah with his own hands, no supernatural influence, finally fulling snapping and, it sounds like, gutting him like a fish. it's just about the most lively and impassioned we've heard him all season, and, as far as anyone could deserve to do such a thing, he really is the person who deserved to get to do it.

jon and martin both betraying each other and making the choices that the whole story has been leading them to. jon has spent years fighting against his internalized idea that he can't trust anyone and he's the only person who's powerful/expendable/knowledgeable enough to make decisions and solve problems, and at last he submits to it and takes matters into his own hands. martin has spent years operating under the assumption that he's unimportant and incapable, and now just as he finally accepts that his choices have meaning, he sets the plan in motion that ends up getting them both killed. and jon has tried so hard to be transparent and show him trust that he underestimates just how willing jon is to go behind his back and disregard the plan completely.

and the fuckign. web lighter. I have a longstanding obsession with the mechanics of fate in tragedy narratives, and this lighter. hhh. so, fate (the web) was guiding jon & co to release the fears, but to jon's knowledge, killing jonah and becoming the pupil should have been his winning move to keep them contained. as far as he was capable of comprehending, he made all the right choices, but fate (the web) (the oppressive forces that govern all of our lives) doesn't play fair, it planned for this and cheated him. because he couldn't remember the lighter. he couldn't remember that he already gave georgie the catalyst for the explosion.

this tells me a few things: the ultimate end of releasing the fears was always going to happen, there was nothing jon could have done, but, technically, he could have adhered to the plan and lived to spend what was left of his life with martin and the rest of his nearest and dearest. but that was never really an option, was it? jon archivist sims would never have made that decision, that's why martin tried and failed to plan around it, that's why the web tried and succeeded to plan around it, it would never have happened differently. jon made his choice, it made no difference except to doom himself and the one he loves, he didn't have to do it, and it was inevitable.

and after all of that, after the web cheated him, he could still have won. he could have survived the tower collapse and kept the fears. but one of his biggest stated motives, over and over, is that he can't stand to lose anyone else, and martin is not immune to burning buildings the way he is. in an inverse to gertrude, at the last moment, he chose the barest chance for martin to survive over his own life and principles and big picture goals. he could cope with being responsible for killing the world in the abstract, but when it came to watching the person he loves most die right before his eyes, he caved and came around to martin's perspective. the other worlds can cope, he wants to save the man he loves.

[lcvesjj]

Bad Omens - Deacon Kay x Fem!Reader

Based on the song “Bad Omens” by 5SOS

This is part of my ‘song fics’ series :)

Summary : You'd always come in second place to Annie. Maybe you were right. This relationship was a mistake and you should've listened to the warnings. Since he'll always love somebody else..

Warnings : angst, angst, angst & once again angst. no happy ending, breakups, (Deacon gets back w Annie), in this fic Annie & Deacon don't have kids !!!, heart break, talks/mentions of cheating?

NOT BETA READ!

A/n : the fanfic writer curse has really been kicking my ass recently :’) so I wasn’t posting any fics for a while bc of it. But anyways enjoy and as always this is just based on my interpretation of the song/lyrics :) (yes I am incapable of writing a happy ending currently🥲) I might rewrite this someday since I'm not 100% happy with how this has turned out.

word count : 672

song fic masterlist

regular masterlist

Honestly you should've seen it coming. You always knew you'd come second place to Annie. Deacon's high school sweetheart and “one true love”

Deacon always talked about her a lot since they were still good “friends” Even his coworkers would talk about her a lot. You knew you could never compare to Annie, since she was prettier and smarter and just- more Deacon’s type….

You tried your best to get along with Deacon’s friends, since you loved him so much and you wanted this relationship to work out. 

One day you decided to visit Deacon at the SWAT HQ and bring the team some cookies. Walking towards the HQ kitchen you overheard Deacon talking about you. Pausing you stood still listening in to what was being said. 

“I mean I love Y/n but- she's just not Annie yknow? Annie was always so happy and sweet while I feel like recently Y/n has been pulling away from me. What if she's cheating on me?” Deacon said aloud. He had no idea you heard him. You could feel like crying and your heart dropped to your stomach hearing his words. The man you loved so deeply just accused you of cheating on him.

Quickly turning on your heel you rushed out of HQ still holding the plate with cookies you brought. Getting into your car you drove away towards a nearby beach to sit and think.

You always felt like you were in second place in David's life, but hearing him accuse you of cheating just made you feel even worse. Maybe agreeing to this relationship knowing how much he still liked Annie was a mistake...

Deciding to pull out your phone you sent him a quick text saying “We need to talk. It's important.” Before putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and driving home. 

Deacon was already waiting at home for you with a worried look on his face and upon seeing you he started asking a million questions as to where you were. 

“I think we should break up.”

You interrupted him, Deacon's face fell and he looked hurt and confused. “But I thought-” You just shook your head no. “This isn't working. I'll never be first place for you. It'll always be Annie since she's your first and only true love. I overheard what you said at the station and I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep on feeling like I'm less important to you.” You said while wiping away a few tears. 

“Y/n sweetheart….that's not true. I love you and you're my number one girl. Annie is just a friend to me. I've known her for so long it wouldn't make sense for me to just cut her off suddenly.” Deacon said while frowning. 

“I'm done. I'm sorry Deac, I'll go pack my things now. I'll come grab the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” You said while heading further into the house and towards your shared bedroom before grabbing a bag and packing some essentials while Deacon just watched with pure heartbreak and anguish written all over his face. “But we can still be friends right?” He asked nervously to which you shook your head. 

“I think it's for the best if for now we don't contact or see each other for some time.” You replied while zipping up your bag. “I'm sorry David.” You said softly while kissing his cheek one last time before heading out of the door. 

It wasn't fair to either you or Deacon. You knew he always loved Annie more. I mean she's perfect…

-

A few weeks later Deacon and Annie started to date again and seeing their new photos on the social media platforms you were still following Deacon on, you felt like crying. You always knew it would probably end up like this. You'd get your heart broken and Deacon would end up with Annie. But at least you broke the cycle of constantly getting your heart broken every time Deacon sang praises about Annie right…?

[charon-cries]

we're lucky Lestat de Lioncourt doesn't have tumblr, the drama he'd get into on here would be wild

#is this anything #he'd probably get cancelled instantly #also side note for future reference #i'm making this post before season 3 #so if anything in this is incompatible with amc canon #that's because i'm working off of seasons 1 + 2 and the books #okay ty have a nice day

32 notes

🎧 audiofilled Follow

ANOTHER of my mutuals went missing after buying a backstage pass to a vampire lestat concert. she didn't post pictures, nothing, and she's been radio silent since her last post (which was about how she was about to go backstage...) and i really think we should be taking this more seriously. so.

reasons why i think "lestat de lioncourt" may be running a cult or something:

Keep reading

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Absolutely ridiculous. I am very open about what I am, you do not need to resort to senseless conspiracy theories to figure out where your little friend went.

🎧 audiofilled Follow

are you incapable of dropping the vampire bit for ONE moment? people are going MISSING and you're still doing your corny roleplay bit?

#discourse #TVL disappearances #callout

362 notes

📚 daniel-molloy

It's day number seventy-three of surviving this God forsaken website solely to keep tabs on Lestat's social media presence, and I'm still trying to decipher the lingo you people use here. What the Hell does, "I'm bald," even mean?

#the vampire lestat

137 notes

🪽 arun-rising

Did anyone else notice Lestat only posts during the night, in whichever timezone he's in while on tour? True commitment to the bit. Or the bite, I suppose.

🩸 carmillized

weren't you posting about how much you despise his music just yesterday???

🪽 arun-rising

I don't know what you're talking about. I never did that.

🩸 carmillized

You are correct. I believe you without question. I do not even know why I said that in the first place. I do not recall you posting about Lestat de Lioncourt before this.

#sorry OP i was out of line #now that i'm thinking about it though #this post is making me wonder if lestat could be a real vampire #i hadn't seriously considered it until this very moment #something came over me... #wonder why

40 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

New song.

Listen, if you dare.

📷 disintegrated-wonder

Lestat, I thought we were over this...?

#louis talks

893 notes

🧷 baby-jenks

Wouldn't it be wild if we all just spontaneously combusted? Haha. Glad that will never happen

#fang gang #vampblr #random thought #it's unlikely

4 notes

👴🏻 marius-official Follow

How does this website work...?

🦇 fang-fan

delete your blog

#rank vibes on this man

1,425 notes

🐾 interview-wolf-the-werewolf Follow

Sponsored with Blaze 🔥

Check out my new book. It's a biography, about me, written by an award-winning journalist, chronicling my life as a werewolf. It's 100% factual and real, a real breath of fresh air in a world filled with fiction attempting to pass itself off as reality.

#iwtw #my posts #my book #me #werewolf #wolf #awoo #please i need to feed my litter of twelve #this book is all i have

5,762 notes

🩸 carmillized

hey all! i know that my mutual, audiofilled, is a little bit divisive in the music fandom rn, but i'm getting a little worried. i haven't heard from him since he made that post speculating about where TVL fans have been disappearing to. please send me an ask or a dm if you've heard from him!

#talk tag #getting a little worried #he's probably okay though

47 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Just had a lovely dinner. It's nice when your food is in tune with you, yes? Makes the blood sit well in the veins.

🦇 fang-fan

ur so funny

#edit: sorry for posting while audiofilled is missing #i didn't hear about it until just now

1,409 notes

🩸 carmillized

okay i just can't get over how he talks about himself. i don't know if it's just him being "in character" or if this is just how the guy acts irl, but he's so self-aggrandizing that i've been questioning it

no nuance/bald/other, you have to decide on the spot right now what you believe

📚 daniel-molloy

He's lying.

👩‍💻 talamascized-witch

I don't believe him for a second.

#archive #poll #lestat de lioncourt

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Right, so, I've been seeing some persistent misconceptions in fanfiction where a character has ADHD. I'm a man of color with ADHD and I want to clear some things up. This is specifically about how people tend to write Ed Teach, but it can apply to other characters you're writing with ADHD. And I'd love if other people with ADHD, especially other people of color with ADHD, have any additions to tack on!

These things are NOT what ADHD is.

ADHD does not make you "stupid." This whole thing was inspired because I just read a fic where Ed cites his ADHD as evidence he's "dumber" than the other characters (and this was supported by the writing in the story). There is no correlation between ADHD and intelligence, and we know that Ed is a genius!

ADHD does not automatically mean that someone can't finish school or can't succeed in demanding academic fields. I'm working on my PhD. It just means your character needs coping skills.

ADHD does not mean that someone will "hyperfixate" on or suddenly lose interest in relationships, whether romantic or platonic.

ADHD doesn't mean your character struggles with personal hygeine or keeping their home clean. Please stop making me read fics that characterize a man of color as dirty or incapable of keeping his home clean and excusing it because "he has ADHD!"

ADHD doesn't mean that your character will need someone to look after or supervise everything they do. Ed does not need a White man to take care of him or make sure his work gets done.

ADHD doesn't mean a character will be unable to sit still, focus, stay on-task, or sit in silence 100% of the time. We all have different tolerance levels and those can change depending on current circumstances.

Here are some more realistic, interesting ways ADHD can impact successful, smart characters of color, like Ed.

He might feel the need to be hypercompetent, all the time.

He might get frustrated with himself. ADHD can be frustrating! You can be on top of things 99% of the time at work and school, and have people look up to you, and then you'll realize that you've been forgetting to book that doctor's appointment for six months straight now and you'll feel like a failure.

He might overcorrect symptoms. For example, he might have trouble keeping a neat, organized space and know that messes stress him out, so he overcorrects by being a bit of a neat freak and avoiding mess wherever possible so his space never becomes unmanageable.

He might struggle with The Evil Boredom. That's when you feel super understimulated and nothing is enough to help.

He might have trouble sitting still or saying quiet when he's nervous, feeling strong emotions, or in a boring environment or trying to do a boring task (the scene where Ed struggled with being still and quiet while fishing, while also feeling strong emotions of guilt, was super relatable).

I like to write AuDHD characters (with both autism and ADHD), and it can add a fun new dimension! I personally headcanon Ed as AuDHD. When you have both, symptoms can be frustrating because they can feel contradictory (for example, my autism demands I keep a neat, tidy space and I like routines, but my ADHD means I have trouble keeping things tidy to my standards and routines are super boring).

And finally but crucially: it's obviously okay to headcanon a character as ADHD or with any other neurodivergence when you're White. However, it's important to remember that the experience of neurodivergence looks different for people of color. Boys of color with ADHD, for example, are often overdiagnosed with ODD and labelled as "defiant" or "uncooperative." I often avoid telling White friends and coworkers that I'm AuDHD because it tends to make them infantalize me, as if I haven't already proven to them I'm a capable adult. People of color often have to go undiagnosed or without appropriate medications (if needed) and/or are misdiagnosed. If you're writing about a chracter of color with ADHD, I really recommend finding a sensitivity reader.

[beesmygod]

my extremely misanthropic take on AI art has a large and obnoxious contingent of people who, for whatever reason, cannot put in the time/are genuinely physically incapable of becoming an "artist" but covet the idea of being a part of that world/friend group. they are using these tools as cheap social gratification rather than serious attempts at creation and the disingenuous nature of their production is what turns people off and away from the whole exercise. there is no sincere joy in discovery or camaraderie built from shared experiences, just desperate desire to be "in" instead of "out" using what they perceive to be a social cheat code.

as for physical incapability: im 4'10", 100 lbs, and have unknown joint problems. im not going to be a basketball or football star no matter how much work i put in or how bad i want it. i found other things to do instead of finding some kind of tool to assist me in skipping all of the tedious gym training and learning about the nuance of engaging in the sport. it would be extremely disrespectful and belittling to those who did. i just do other things and find gratification in them.

there are days where drawing is really hard bc of the joints so i am not unsympathetic to this reality: many people struggle to use the tools to make illustrative art. but when faced with the reality of being unable to draw (and the despair that brings), my response needs to be "then i guess i'm not doing this today" and to find something else to do. i can't moon over what i can't have or i'll go crazy.

[silver99johnlocked]

During season 2, after Jack finally accepts to believe in Will, they plot against Hannibal. Their plot is based on Will gaining Hannibal's trust by getting close to him one more time, but this time having no secrets between the two of them. Will makes it clear to Hannibal that he knows the truth and says that he still wants to be with him.

So basically Will's trying to pass this image to Hannibal: 'I know you're a killer and even though I wanted to turn you in before, it was only because you framed me and I got pissed. But to be honest, now that the anger is gone, I've realised that I'm actually really interested in making killing associations with you, just like you told me about all along. We could go off together and leave this play pretend life behind us so we can be our true selves and I can embrace the new person you made out of me.'

Hannibal is absolutely thrilled about it. He buys it. He fiercely wants it to be true. That's why when he finds out that Will is about to betray him, he gives him little second chances just to be sure. Because he doesn't want to believe Will would do that to him. He couldn't stand that.

The thing is that Will actually really cares about Hannibal. He's not a 'black or white' person. He inhabits the grey area of morality. He knows what's the right thing to do, yet he found in Hannibal the only person who truly understands and respects him. He can't simply betray Hannibal like that. That was never his plan. He chose his own side. He couldn't be 100% on Jack or Hannibal's side. He chose to play by the law but still give Hannibal a chance to escape. He calls and warns Hannibal that the police are coming. He's literally telling him to go and be safe.

What Will didn't predict was how much Hannibal cared about him. He only realizes that when he arrives at his house in 2x13. Abigai is alive. The reason why he never entirely took Hannibal's side, the reason why he couldn't forgive him.

Will asks her about Hannibal and he's right there behind him. The first thing he says: "You were supposed to leave". He's angry. He didn't want all this mess. He knew it would put people he cared about in danger but most of all, he wanted Hannibal free and safe. Even more so now. Maybe he would even join him after. But this isn't right, why would Hannibal risk everything like this? It doesn't make sense.

Hannibal: "We couldn't leave without you"

Will's entire face changes when he hears that. He underestimated the influence he had on Hannibal. He thought he was a pure psychopath, incapable of feelings, yet here he is, putting his own life at risk for the sake of another human being. But that's not everything. The cherry on the top is when Hannibal reveals that he wanted Abigail to be a surprise. He cared about Will so god damn much that he wasn't able to kill her because he knew how important she was to Will. He cared about Will so god damn much that he was willing to leave his entire (loner, detached, successful) life behind in order to flee and live as a family.

But that couldn't happen, because Will betrayed him. He made a place for their family, he actually made a romantic gesture but Will surprised him by choosing not to go with him. He chose Jack's side even if he did warn Hannibal about it. That detail doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that Will didn't choose to be with Hannibal.

Hannibal: I let you know me, see me. I gave you a rare gift, but you didn't want it.

Will: Didn't I?

Hannibal: You would deny me my life.

Will: No. No, not your life. No.

Hannibal: My freedom then, you would take that from me. Confine me to a prison cell. Do you believe you could change me the way I changed you?

Will: I already did.

And that's the moment, my friends. Will really only realized that there and then but he now knows that yes he did change Hannibal. He made Hannibal actually truly care for him. Hannibal made Will see his dark side but Will made Hannibal see his good side. They have blended so much that each internalised a part of the other. And when Will states this, Hannibal can't accept it. He, in all his glory, cannot accept to be changed by anyone, not even Will. He turns to pettiness to prove a point, like a child throwing a tantrum. In an anger attack, he does the unforgivable (by undoing his good deeds) and kills Abigail, simply to try and prove Will wrong. It's low, it's difficult, and that's why he's left heartbroken, because he knows immediately he fucked up. He knows Will will probably never forgive him for it.

At the end of the episode Will is dying next to Abigail and he is still able to see the wounded stag as a representation of how deeply heartbroken Hannibal is by everything that has happened. He's pure empathy after all, he sees through Hannibal's facade right into his heart. And he also aches for their separation because now he understands what it all really meant to Hannibal. He wasn't simply playing catch with the police, he put his body and soul into their escape because he really thought he had found someone with whom he could share his life without having to hide his true self. Will's betrayal cuts deep because it's not on his ego, it's on his very soul.

[figurativefriend]

I don't hear dyscalculia talked about much but it's life ruining.

Every time I ever tried counting to 100 I'd always end up skipping a bunch of numbers.

Counting, addition, subtraction are all difficult.

I can't use multiplication or division or any complex math. God forbid you add letters in there.

I was always way too early for everything or incredibly late. Sometimes comically late.

Numbers time amounts, it all means nothing to me. Less then nothing, I can't imagine it at all.

It's embarrassing to say the least that it takes me, an adult, on average about 5 mins to likely incorrectly answer 6x8.

If I ever thought I got the answer right first try my previous failures at even the most basic math causes me to second guess myself and then get it wrong anyway.

I tried so hard to get anything other then an F and detention for being so incapable of doing math in school. I eventually just stopped trying. I resented math because I didn't get it.

I dropped out in 8th-9th grade because I was being let off easy the past years and "made up" my failing grades in summer school every year I attended school, until they decided to just hold me back in class, attempted to put me in special education, and made me to drop out of band class because I kept failing math so incredibly bad. I just couldn't do it anymore. I dropped out. I tried to get my G.E.D. 3 times before I gave up.

It still haunts me to this day how some math teachers were so unwilling to find a diffrent way to teach me instead of just punishing me for my incompetence. It was unfair how many times I got left in class alone while everyone played or even went to lunch without me because I was stupider then everyone else.

I'm irrationally afraid of even trying to interact with the subject. The mental blockade my anxiety about it makes everything worse too.

Though a love for worldbuilding has me pulling up the calculator some days. And nothing a good old timer can't fix time blindness and some time related anxieties. It still sucks man. We have got to be nicer to dumb people. I'm being so genuine. If someone's bad at something maybe find out why and help them instead of being a dick about it.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm sorry but I can't believe sex in ep6 even topic of discussion.

1)Why would they go to such lengths and spend their time and resources on making floaty sex, if it didn't mean anything and didn't serve any purpose? What purpose did it serve? Well, the first and last time we also saw floaty sex in ep1 and it was clear representation of connection and pleasure that sends you flying to Saturn and back. So, logically, ep6 sex too supposed to show connection and pleasure.

2) Next point (i'm not sure about this one tbh): perhaps there's one more parallel to ep1 scene - Louis "didn't consider himself a homosexual at that time" and we see cut to him having enthusiastic sex. In ep6 he was telling Daniel about being numb and we have cut to him PARTICIPATING in sex and not just lying there like a corpse.

3) They literally included Lestat stopping and checking on Louis and not doing anything before Louis kissed him. He noticed that Louis wasn't mentally there and stopped. Clear indication that Lestat wanted CONSENSUAL sex, if he truly didn't care he would just proceed to fuck Louis because Louis wasn't stopping him.

4) Give Louis a little agency, would you?(general you, not you, Nalyra) As I said, we didn't have any indication that Louis wad pressured into it, that lestat didn't care about Louis' consent and pleasure. Just because you're depressed doesn't mean you're incapable of making decisions. Louis' kiss was him reassuring lestat that he's here with him. He KNEW that lestat needed reassurance to proceed. Lestat can't read Louis' mind, he can't be 100% if Louis wants it or not, so he has to rely on what Louis TELLS him with words and body language. Louis told lestat with his actions that he wants him to proceed. That's Louis' decision, like it or not

5) I know fandom likes to act like Claudia is mentally 14 forever, but for majority of story she's grown woman. I'm actually not sure if she truly thinks Louis wouldn't mind her being in his head while they're having sex or she's actively disregarding his boundaries (that he didn't establish) but there's fact: it's weird. Maybe she thinks she's helping Louis to "cope" with sex because she's projecting her trauma with Bruce on Loustat (which is understandable!) but for me Louis' sounds uncomfortable, and resigned, half-heartedly trying to deflect Claudia. "Anywhere sounds like nowhere" - for me it was clear that he doesn't really want to leave and doesn't want to have this conversation but he fails to say it outright and shut down Claudia. So he just makes up excuses not to leave, avoids telling NO, and blocks his mind when Lestat notices that something is wrong.

So, my point, that cut from Bruce to Lestat was Claudia's mind coming to comparison. She thinks Louis does it to appease lestat, she's probably tries to help telling Louis about her escape plan, she views Louis' reluctants as fear of Lestat and that's it, when probably main reason is Louis simply not wanting to leave.

I'm so sorry for long essay, hope you don't mind! Love your work and blog:)

:) Glad you like.

And yeah... I cannot believe we're at this point again/still either.

Exactly. This is a deliberate thing, a deliberate connection to the best sex Louis had. As said before, it carries meaning.

Well, I mean, there are a lot more instances of Louis saying something and the show showing us something else. Or vice versa. That is... exactly the point. Louis is telling the tale for an effect. And that effect was to lead to the justified "murder night". But the why will be part of season 2.

I know

Louis is (not just) depressed because of Lestat. He is deep in the rite of passage. He addresses that on the bench. And yeah.. for some reason Louis' never gets his agency in these discussions. Because he could have moved away. He could have left. But he did not want to. He stayed right there, in Rue Royale during those 6 years (for example). Where Lestat could find him. But I digress. Louis does have agency, indeed. And it is often dismissed for some reason -.-

Claudia's thinking is very black and white, pun not intended. It's stark contrast. She hates and loves with the full power of puberty, at all times, no matter her mental age. Her hatred for Lestat colors her perception of Louis' love for him - she just cannot imagine Louis loving him. Oh she understands it. But to her Lestat is like Bruce, the worst of the worst, and she cannot fathom that there are actually vampires out there... who are much, much worse. That is part of the horror, that she just cannot... imagine, because ultimately Lestat and Louis raised her as a child and then a loved family member - not as a coven member. She has no point of reference, unfortunately. And no, Louis neither wants to have that conversation (but he is too nice to shut it down), nor does he want to leave. And that just... flies right over her head.

Neither Claudia nor Louis actually fear Lestat, and definitely not even after the fight. The car scene made that quite clear, imho.

Oh, they are angry at him, and justified in that anger. But fear? Nope.

[distort-opia]

I will forever be thinking about Red Hood's fall in the vat. Just the angst of it is just *chef's kiss*

The sentiment of betrayal from Joker at Batman, the shame and guilt of Batman for failing Joker. I bet they both think about that moment a lot, wondering what could've been (specially Bruce on that) Did they remember the exact date? Have nightmares about it?

I wish comics would dwell on that more

Not entirely sure if you're the same Anon, but it felt like these two asks are connected. And I gotta say, yes, 100% agree.

I love the original portrayal of the fall into the vat, the way it was done before Zero Year. I do love what Snyder did with Joker, but I really dislike what he did with his origin in that comic. Making Red Hood obsessed with Batman from the very start, making him let go and smile as he does it to spite Batman... it entirely redefines his motivations and makes him too much about Batman. The way I personally reconcile Zero Year and The Killing Joke plus all other depictions of the acid vat fall (like in It's Joker Time) is through what Bruce and Joker need to believe.

Snyder's already established that Bruce and Joker remember things differently. In Endgame, Joker accuses Batman of having pushed him off a cliff in Death of the Family, when in actuality it was Joker himself who let go. In a similar manner, I think that Bruce is remembering Red Hood's fall as done intentionally to spite him because he'd rather not see it as a suicide attempt, done by someone scared and at the end of his rope. It's easier to think of it that way, isn't it? Red Hood was crazy and refused to let Batman save him on purpose; it wasn't that Batman failed to do it, it wasn't that he scared the guy so much he chose to go over a railing.

But well, I do forgive Snyder for this, because he's the one to write most of these moments of conflict when it comes to Joker's feelings towards Batman... like in Endgame, and Batman (2011) #48.

I can't help but gush over some more depictions of it though, like in the following story:

Batman: Black and White (2020) #2 -- The Spill

I love this little comic for this, for showing Joker pissed off at his supposed dependence on Batman and being like "You know what, fuck you, this time I'm letting you die". And then Batman being incapable of not saving him, even after Joker was going to walk away.

Then there's Joker's nightmare in Knight Terrors, even more recently:

Knight Terrors: The Joker (2023)

Beautiful imagery of Bruce stuffing his mouth with lobster aside... Joker's nightmare is basically Batman dying, and then him being incapable of finding another purpose. Him managing to kill Batman isn't shown as something victorious for him, it's realizing that he put too many of his eggs in one basket and thinking that perhaps he doesn't like that. That being so obsessed with Batman is not something he wants. God, there's so much to say about Knight Terrors and Joker's portrayal in it, but perhaps the most potent imagery is at the end of his nightmare. Joker's always wanted to infect everyone else with his laughter, with his way of thinking... and it finally happens. But then, he doesn't want it, because what Gotham wants to do now is destroy Batman. To kill order, sense:

Knight Terrors: The Joker (2023)

This is a literal depiction of Joker's conflicted feelings over Batman, because his psyche split after Batman's death. Part of him became Batman in the absence of him, and part of him remained a Joker who refused to admit Batman was dead. And then these two parts each acted in different ways, gave different orders... the part of him that was pure Joker ordered his followers to not listen to the part of him that needed Batman. Rosenberg, I am kissing you on the mouth for this one.

Oof, I got this long and didn't even mention Joker War, but yeah! In case you haven't read these two stories, I recommend them for showcasing Joker's conflicted love/hate relationship with Batman, and what he means to him.

[trans-queen-administrator]

Y'all ever think about the first chapter of Gold Morning when Taylor realizes she threw away everything and cut ties and poured her soul into trying to stop the end of the world only for it to all be for nothing and her hometown is gone and her dad is probably dead and she gives up for the first time in the book? Like she's a person of nearly infinite determination and willpower, but it finally ran out after she realized it was all hopeless. And it's such a fitting method of attempted suicide too for someone who passively tried to kill herself via caping without even realizing she was doing so. She just floated out over the ocean at sunset, surrounded herself in a cocoon of bugs, and stayed there as her flight pack's fuel drained to the point of no return. She didn't say it outright, but she fully intended to die there.

And the whole time she couldn't bear to ask anyone for help or a hug. She said the only two people who would give a hug without further questions were her dad and Rachel who weren't available, and that's heartbreaking to me. She's been so focused on being composed and threatening and strong enough to not be fucked with that she can't bring herself to let down the mask, so she'll drown instead. And she's wrong, she's so so so wrong but she's such a bundle of paranoia and self loathing that she can't fathom her friends would accept her in her moment of weakness and give her a hug. But Lisa does.

I'm moving past the "now we were like lesbians" real quick because yes they're so gay but that's not the point of this post. Lisa gave her a hug immediately, she saw her friend hurting and wanted to comfort her, but I think it's important to note that Taylor's inability to ask for comfort and the fact that she didn't want to inconvenience her friends with her feelings led directly to her hurting Lisa so much more. When Lisa opened the door she was genuinely unsure if Taylor would come through or let herself die, she was forced to see her worst nightmare for a moment as everything she tried to stop happened. How much would that destroy her? She doesn't show it because she's just like Taylor with her emotion bottling, but I honestly think if Taylor hadn't come through that door Lisa would have second triggered.

Anyway I'm getting off topic even if I don't know what my topic is. Taylor being afraid of being a burden when she's emotional around her teammates happens a few more times through Gold Morning, Rachel accepts it obviously, Lisa hugs her, and Aisha tells her to stop apologizing because she's allowed to feel shit when the world is ending. Everyone (sorry Brian) is 100% ready to help her, but because Taylor has had every strong emotion she shared with Emma weaponized against her and has been taught to appear strong she just can't fucking comprehend it. Her friends would fucking follow her to the ends of the Earth and she's thinks so little of herself that she believes she wouldn't give her a hug. I'm repeating myself but fuck she's really kill herself before asking for a hug during the apocalypse. She's just completely incapable of believing people like her I want to throttle her and yell that she is loved but she would genuinely just somehow rationalize that as a lie. She's surrounded by friends and people she's saved and so many lives that she's touched yet she's completely alone in her head because she keeps them all like 20 feet away emotionally.

[derxwnakapsyla]

I won't sugarcoat this: I'm broke. I am flat out, 100% incapable of paying for anything anymore, and have reached a very dangerous point. Earlier last week, I had to go to the hospital to get a growth on the back of my leg checked out. The doctors note suggested I see a surgeon since apparently they can't drain it there (never-mind the fact that they always did when I was back in Florida...). So I called 5ge surgeon's office to schedule an appointment.

Its up to 400 dollars for a consultation. Up front. No payment plan options.

I dont have that money- if I spend on that, then I no longer have grocery money. I have to choose between health and food. And even then, that's just for a consultation- they may charge _more_ for actually doing anything to it. If I could find a free clinic anywhere near me, that'd be great, but I haven't found any yet.

I really do not know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope.

This is the link to donate money directly to my PayPal account. I didn't want it to have to come to this, but... I really don't have any other options.

And if you don't want to just give me money flat and would rather a service, you can find my commission page and rates here. I am willing to haggle on the prices.

https://eeveeexpo.com/threads/8291/

Thats... Really all there is to say, I guess.

Donate if you comfortably can, Spread if you want.

[mikeandikeschmidt]

FNAF Movie! Incorrect Quotes (Part 3)

ABBY: I wanna walk home

MIKE: I'll join you. I'm always game for a brisk walk. Also, if I leave you alone, I'm pretty sure you'll die.

***

VANESSA: So, are we friends?

MIKE: I guess.

VANESSA: You sure?

MIKE: Sure.

VANESSA: ...Should we kiss?

MIKE: No.

Because there's still a small chance they could be siblings and I like their friendship

***

MIKE: You read my journal?

ABBY: At first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

***

VANESSA: Have I ever let you down?

MIKE: Do you want me to answer that or should I just glare?

***

ABBY: You promised you'd stop drinking milk in the shower!

MIKE: Stop trying to change me!

***

VANESSA: If Abby jumped off a bridge, would you do the same thing?

MIKE, sighing and getting ready to jump off: Yes. She can't swim.

***

ABBY: Mike, you love me, right?

MIKE: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

***

[Shortly after what happened to Garrett]

MIKE's Teacher: You are very mature for your age.

Younger!MIKE: Thank you, it's the trauma.

***

MIKE: Everybody's tragic backstory gave them mad skills, and all I got was trust issues and anxiety.

***

CASSIDY: Are you the chosen one?

MIKE: I'm very much the guy who's here

***

DOUG: How much stuff do you need to be happy?

AUNT JANE: Gee, I don't know...how much stuff is there?

***

WILLIAM: Why do you think I'm incapable of doing anything nice?

VANESSA: Experience.

***

AUNT JANE: I love it when you get your comeuppance

MIKE: I love it when you shutuppance

***

ABBY: Hey, what does coffee taste like?

MIKE: Not as good as it smells.

ABBY: Oh, like shampoo.

***

MIKE: Why do people say, 'you'll understand better when you're older'?

MIKE: I'm older now, and I understand nothing

***

AUNT JANE: You're really aiming to be jerk of the year, huh?

MIKE: As reigning champion, are you nervous?

***

MIKE: Don't forget to take a scarf. It’s going to be pretty cold today

ABBY: I love you too.

***

VANESSA: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Vanessa is such a nice girl, Vanessa is so happy-go-lucky! Vanessa can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Vanessa CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Vanessa is in a very bad mood.

***

AUNT JANE: Degenerate

MIKE: Blocked

AUNT JANE: Unblock me! I got to tell you something important!!

MIKE: Fine, unblocked

AUNT JANE: DEGENERATE!

***

ABBY: Mike won't wake up after he took those pills. What do I do now?

CASSIDY: Did you try kicking him?

ABBY: Just like you suggested

CASSIDY: Then I'm out of ideas.

***

ABBY: Hey, if you put "violently" in front of saying what you're doing, it becomes 100% funnier

VANESSA: Violently dances

MIKE: Violently sleeps

WILLIAM: Violently stabs people.

MIKE: ...Violently worries about the previous comment.

***

MIKE: I don't know about this, Abbs, it's pretty dark in there.

ABBY: Don't worry, I got this.

ABBY: *stomps her feet then her Skechers light up*

***

VANESSA, walking in: What are you doing?

MIKE: Abby's making me watch this horror film about two ex-convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected child.

*Home Alone plays on the TV in the background*

***

AUNT JANE: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee

DOUG, internally: If I were your husband, I'd drink it

***

[When Vanessa was a kid]

WILLIAM: *sharpens knife* We got ways of making you talk.

VANESSA:

WILLIAM: *cuts piece of cake*

VANESSA: ...can I have some?

WILLIAM: Cake is for talkers.

***

ABBY, at 3 a.m.: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, then that means you're a chicken tender

MIKE, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling:

***

[Basically, the career counselor scene]

WILLIAM: I can excuse killing children, but I draw the line at not being able to hold a job

MIKE: You can excuse killing children...?!

***