#and i imagine she was with the family for *a while* before ana and the friends got caught up in everything.

[meatriarchived]

me when i say Fuck It to gun's timeline because two weeks is just Not Enough Time in my eyes to properly hold a missing person search throughout several counties and give them time to actually yknow. search ( debatable but at least long enough to make it seem like they "tried" yknow? ) before calling it all off.

( which also this does not have to be adopted by anyone else - im just rambling and all but i do believe two weeks is just. not enough time at all- )

maria left for that last trip during the uni of texas' spring break. which typically seems to land somewhere between early-mid march (8th-16th). meaning she disappeared in that week.

( im inclined to say maybe within the first 3-4 days of her leaving, probably after she'd been driving most of the first and stopping at random to take photos. also inclined to say she left earlier than break actually started due to how any places she probably wanted to get to ).

her car was discovered abandoned - which could have easily been moved to a different location than where she actually went missing. and that could have taken any number of days to have been reported to local sheriffs after being called in by someone passing by, and which wouldve taken longer to look into before making that house call to her family and announcing her being missing ( esp considering its the 70s so...things were much slower to be processed, searches to be formed took longer to find enough bodies to look, etc ).

so im thinking im pondering im perceiving this roughly :

beginning of march: - maria leaves a day or two before spring break actually started. - by the time break is underway, she's made it to her initial few planned stops but is taken, her car hidden briefly, to be gone through. mid-march: - by the time spring break ends and classes resumes, maria never returned to her apartment or campus. - friends probably assumed she'd gotten sick maybe or something went on back home. - her car is discovered that week being back from break, found someplace else, and family is notified. - police start the investigation and search for her once confirmed she hasnt been in contact with anyone back home since those first couple days being gone. - that first-72-hours of easily finding a missing person window now out the door which makes them less concerned of finding her alive. that coupled with the sawyer/hewitt influence around the different departments? they seem less eager to do their jobs, they appear to be avoiding sending search parties at all to look around a certain region. end of march thru april: - when ana catches winds of talks of them suspending the search by the start of april when no leads have been found i think is when she actually leaves their hometown to go find the friends, see if they know anything, come up with a plan to go searching for themselves. - danny told everything and he speed-demons back from his trade schools' training by the coast. - the friends start scouring every place they can think of that maria could have gone to - both that she'd been to before, and where she'd mentioned to them she had planned to stop at or drive past during this trip ( which i imagine must've taken them yknow. a while to do. cause i'd assume they wanted to be thorough since the police weren't. ) - they keep meeting dead ends with every place they go to til they reach newt, and ultimately come across drayton, luda, etc etc. ( insert teehee forbidden knowledge )

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like give it at least a little over a month to give shit time to unfold and grow more frustrating and confusing yknow? give it time for hopelessness to settle in to make that excitement of hearing from the scattered family members of some possible leads refill them with the hope that maybe they've finally caught onto something!! that she was seen, that shes nearby maybe!!!

that they can maybe find her and bring her home finally!!!!!

[a-shade-of-blue]

I've recently moved to a new country due to the worsening political environment in my home country, and I've been struggling to adapt. Uprooting yourself from the place you've called home your entire life is not easy, and I've had to discard many items close to my heart because I cannot afford to bring them with me.

Therefore, I cannot imagine what Mahmoud's family (@mahmoudfamily1 ) must be feeling. They have had to evacuate 16 times in a year! Each time they evacuate, there are fewer things they can bring with them. They are a family of 17 people, 10 of whom are children! With limited space on the car they use to move, should they bring all the blankets they own so everyone can keep warm, even if it means discarding a young child's favourite toy?

Then there is the problem of food. With the scarcity of food, they are forced to eat spoiled food because the alternative would be to not eat anything at all and go hungry. As a result, the 10 children suffer from constant stomachaches and diarrhea from the contaminated food and water they consume. Imagine evacuating, walking for miles and miles, while in constant pain!

Most worryingly, Mahmoud's family also includes 3 infants. The youngest of them, baby Meryem, was only born a few months ago in this genocidal war. Mahmoud's sister almost lost her life in the birth process due to a lack of medical resources. She still suffers from severe infections caused by the difficult birth because she has not been able to get the medical supplies and the treatment she needs. And reminding everyone again that they have to deal with all that while bombs are falling all around them!

Mahmoud's campaign has barely been getting any donations. Even though he has been raising funds for almost 6 months now, he has only reached 6% of campaign goal and has only raised $4,763 CAD  out of his $80K target!

This campaign is #3 on @/gaza-evacuation-funds vetted list here, #117 on @/gazavetters vetted list, vetted by bilal-salah0, and vetted by association!

Donations have stopped for Mahmoud's campaign!! Last donation was more than 2 days ago!

tagging for reach

@hazem-khalil @soggystyrofoam  @kibumkim @pigswithwings @plaidos @bellybuttonblue2 @caseys-soup-corner @squidie-tittie @bubonicherald @seravph @horreurscopes @ripe @irradiatedsnakes @dreamingamongthestars @hoodnaruto @akaratna @mai-monnie @novastarology @nightydraws @elderscrollpdf @geospiral @lone-nyctophile @mysteryvhs @wiremotherrrrr @artoatsblog @beepbatt @theothergal @mere-glim @feytouched @nash13 @chilisaws @biterflies @twistedmiffy @ilovelifetbh @thecoffeelorian @artofenby @entryn17 @bifauxnnen @dormont @dykefagz @beargif  @wouriqueen @coffeelich @battle-spouse @block-swing-perry @ana-bananya@northgazaupdates@c-u-c-koo-4-40k@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @roadimusprime@aces-and-angels@just-browsing1222@neptunerings@mushroomjar@northgazaupdates2@kyra45-helping-others@decolonize-solidarity @heritageposts@timetravellingkitty @briarhips @ankle-beez @akajustmerry @wellwaterhysteria @rhubarbspring @brutaliakhoa @decolonize-the-everything @sporesgalaxy @postanagramgenerator@heydreamchild @watermotif @stuckinapril @malcriada @appsa @buttercuparry@bixels @afro-elf @officialspec @wormzandgutz @tlirsgender @apas-95 @renegadeer @fadedlovemp3

[mrabubu]

I know we've seen bits and pieces of Ana's life as a kraang but what about her before turning into a kraang? Like what's her family situation? Does she has siblings? Neighbours she's closed with?

Had she ever went on adventures like April with the turtles? If ana & April were in the same school, did she met draxum as the lunch lady? How did she felt about him then? When casey JR met Ana from the past what did he felt about her?

And did how did Ana helped in the movie where the hamatos were fighting back? After the movie, was she hurt or helped taking care of the turtles?

Sorry for asking too much it's just sometimes am getting this burst of energy to ask questions about your AU 🙏🏼

Nah, it's okay, you're good ~ So, I've been having some ideas on Ana before she was kraangified, and maybe some of the details are my projection, but there's other character's I've been inspired with.

This post turned out to be long, so, yeah... But if you have any more questions, I'm like, totally ready to answer.

I'll go with more simple questions first:

Adventures with the turtles:

I had an idea that maybe it was Leo who was dragging her out on adventures. I thought of a different scenario with that episode when Leo accidentally teleported others somewhere, but before going to Hueso he would go to Ana and drag her out just not to be alone in this.

Ana and Draxum:

I never actually thought about Ana meeting Draxum, but now I kinda imagine there would be a joke about how Ana sneaks up on people unintentionally, especially Draxum because he thought she was unremarkable and he wasn't really paying much attention to her, and he would go like "Were you standing here this whole time?".

Ana and Casey Jr.:

With the story I have in my head, Ana and Leo were reunited after or not long before Cassandra died, so Ana became someone like a mother figure to Casey Jr, and considering Ana died in the future not long before the events of the movie, I feel like Casey would try to suppress his emotions towards her, and definitely would try to hide the details of what happened to Ana in the bad future timeline. But he would definitely be happy to see her, and if going with the movie, in the end he would finally let himself relax around her, knowing she'll be alright, alive and not kraangified, embracing her for the first time since he got into the past.

Ana during the events of the movie:

So, I think this would be strongly connected to the end of the season 2, because I had this idea that Ana, unlike April, didn't have much strength to fight, so Leo left her with Tod while him, April and others went to fight Shredder. This made Ana felt useless and helpless. During the movie, I thought that she would be helping people in the city. She was unable to fight the Kraang, but she tried to help people by leading them away from the war zone. I'm not sure what big moment to add here, but at the time I think that aside from bruises and small cuts she was okay, and, yes, was definitely helping the turtles to heal. Maybe even in the end of the movie it would be her and Leo's moment, when she would tell him about how useless she felt and how scared she was when Leo almost got trapped in the prison dimension, and he would reassure her that she did an amazing job by helping people in the city. And about him almost being gone, I think this would actually be their big moment when he would openly tell her he loves her. Like, before he didn't tell her this like that, but after almost, well, dying, he wouldn't want to waste a single moment with her.

Okay, now to Ana and her family:

At first I thought of Ana being just a normal, shy girl with a normal family, but, uuuh, I also thought it's kinda boring and lacks some depth, so, here's some of my ideas.

I never saw her having any siblings, so, she's the only child.

Her situation in her family is not as ideal as it could be. I didn't want to go with this cliche of one of her parents being dead, so they were both alive, but mostly they lived together more like neighbors rather than a family. I also thought of Ana feeling kinda like a burden to her family. She's calm, shy and quiet girl, doesn't have any special talents or big ambitions rather than taking photos (yeah, I've decided she liked to take pictures).

After watching Dungeon Meshi and seeing this moment with Falin eating alone, I kinda took it as an inspiration for Ana's backstory. But in Ana's case it's more close to something like with Hanekawa from Monogatari series.

If you know Hanekawa's story, you know the vibe/the idea. Ana and Kraang-chan are like Hanekawa and Black Hanekawa.

With Ana it's not as bad as it was for Hanekawa, there was no abuse or anything, but some ideas of her usually wearing a facade to appear to be someone who she isn't is present. With Ana she's more suppressing her emotions, even to the point she's ashamed of them. She feels lonely and detached from others but tries to make it look like she's fine with it, but there are still moments when her frustration is too much to handle, but even then she didn't ask for help, but more took it on herself.

I redrew a moment from The Boy and the Heron.

Oh boy, I hope I didn't miss anything.

[littlemissmarianna]

Marriage is hard. 

The statement is cliché, but TK never doubted its truth. For years, he watched his parents struggle to make their relationship work and promised himself that his marriage would be different. He wouldn't argue with his spouse. He wouldn’t twist their words to manipulate them. He wouldn't yell and slam doors. He wouldn't bring up past hurts to inflict new pain. He wouldn't withhold affection as punishment.

TK was convinced he had safeguarded his marriage from all the pitfalls he witnessed throughout his childhood, but there's no precedent for this. He and Carlos are facing challenges neither saw coming. And while TK doesn't want to give up, he also doesn't know how to save their marriage when it feels like he's the only one fighting for it.

____________

Carlos will save everyone except himself.

Andrea has always known that, but it's still painful to watch him spiral like this. It's painful to watch her son disappear a little bit more each day.

"Mijo..."

Carlos doesn't look up. He never looks up. He never makes eye contact. He just sits at his father's desk either staring at the evidence or staring at nothing, distracted and distant.

And yes – Carlos has always been dedicated. He's always been focused and determined, but this...this is obsession. This unrelenting compulsion to investigate Gabriel's murder at the expense of everything else must stop before it's too late to salvage the life Carlos has abandoned. His health, his career, and his marriage are suffering from chronic neglect, and Andrea refuses to let it continue.

"Carlitos. You need to go home."

"I am home."

Andrea shakes her head. She can't deny that the ranch will always be her son's home, but that's not what she's talking about...and Carlos knows it. He spends more time in Gabriel's office than anywhere else, and while TK has been patient and supportive, Andrea sees how Carlos's absence is impacting his husband. She sees the sadness in TK's expression. She hears the uncertainty in his voice when he asks if Carlos is spending the night at the ranch again or if he's returning to the loft.

"You haven't seen TK in over a week."

"I've seen him," Carlos defends, gesturing to his phone. "We FaceTime every night."

"That doesn't count, Carlitos. TK deserves to sleep beside his husband."

"So do you," Carlos replies, his tone cold and sharp. "But Dad is dead, and whoever killed him is still out there somewhere."

"You're right," Andrea admits. "That person needs to be found and brought to justice. But your father wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your future for him."

"I'm not sacrificing my future," Carlos counters. "I'm trying to protect it. I can't move forward if I have to constantly look over my shoulder, Mom. What if this person isn't done with our family? What if you're next? Or Ana or Luisa or..."

Andrea knows the name left unsaid is the one Carlos fears losing the most. But her son doesn't realize that on some level, he's already losing TK. Carlos doesn't realize that the biggest threat to his future – to his marriage – is his apathy.

"Go home," she repeats, leaving no room for argument as she nudges Carlos out of his father's chair.

____________

This feeling never gets old – that straight shot of adrenaline that floods TK's system whenever the alarm goes off.

"Train derailment?"

"That's a new one."

"Sounds like a cluster..."

TK agrees, but he welcomes anything that takes his mind off his own train wreck. He never imagined he would feel this lonely being married. He never imagined he would be ignored by his husband or treated like a bother.

"Are you with us or the jocks this time?"

TK smiles and shrugs. Since Judd left, that's always the question when a call comes in: who will have custody of TK – the firefighters or the paramedics?

"We'll decide on scene," Owen says but tells his son to grab his turnout gear just in case.

____________

It's worse than they thought.

Some train cars are stacked on top of each other; some are scattered like toys after a tantrum. 

Survivors are covered in soot and dirt and blood as they wander around the scene in shock...while those who were not as lucky lie motionless on the ground.

____________

"We interrupt this broadcast with breaking news."

Carlos glances up as he pushes the food around on his plate. His mother insisted he eat lunch before heading back to the loft, but Carlos isn't hungry. He's just tired. Tired of feeling empty and detached. Tired of feeling like a failure.

Andrea gasps at the live footage. She recognizes the location instantly.

Carlos does, too. He also recognizes the 126.

"Do you see TK?"

Carlos shakes his head. He knows his husband has been putting his dual certification to good use, which means TK could be anywhere. The likelihood of spotting him in such a chaotic scene is slim, but Carlos keeps scanning as the reporter provides details.

Andrea leans forward, her own lunch forgotten as she also tries to locate TK. She always feels better when she has eyes on her boys. 

"Okay. We've just been told we need to move further back for our safety."

Carlos frowns. He's not there, but it looks like the reporter is already far enough from the scene.

The desk anchor seems to agree. "Has there been a new development?"

"Yes," the reporter confirms, glancing at the camera as she walks. "At least one of the train cars was hauling – "

The rest of her statement is lost as static fills the screen.

____________

The last thing TK will remember is trying to outrun an explosion.

____________

The faster something occurs, the slower it seems. Seconds drag on for hours.

Owen is familiar with that phenomenon, yet it still catches him off guard when it happens. He saw TK running toward him as the explosives began to ignite. 

But when the smoke clears, his son is gone.

____________

Andrea is holding Carlos's hand when the signal is restored.

"Sorry about that," the reporter says, breathless and disheveled. "We were just rocked by a huge explosion, but we're still here. We're fine."

Carlos never wants to see anyone get hurt, but this stranger's well-being is not his priority. He takes out his phone and sends a message to his husband, asking TK to let him know he's okay as soon as he can.

____________

There are now two active scenes – the derailment and the giant crater created by the blast. 

Even with flashlights, it's impossible to see the bottom of the hole...but Owen knows TK is down there, unconscious and injured.

"What do you need, Cap?"

"My son," Owen replies as he prepares to rappel into the darkness.

__________

Carlos tells himself TK is just busy. That's why he hasn't answered. 

Or maybe TK is giving Carlos a taste of how it feels to be ignored. That seems cruel in this situation, but –  

"We have an update," the reporter announces. "All passengers are accounted for, but sadly, one firefighter is missing. We have his photo..."

Andrea holds her breath, then tightens her grip around Carlos's hand as a smiling TK appears on the screen.

"This is TK Strand, the 29-year-old son of fire captain Owen Strand. Both are with the 126, which has a history of tragedy. Viewers may remember the station's catastrophic loss back in 2020. A paramedic was also killed in 2021."

Carlos's ears are ringing as he stares at the photo. Andrea was right when she said Carlos hadn't seen his husband in over a week. TK does FaceTime him every night, but Carlos doesn't hold the phone. He leaves it on the desk, so he can continue working. Each night, TK converses with the ceiling while Carlos grunts or hums his responses. 

Carlos can't even remember the last time he had an actual conversation with TK. He can't remember the last time he looked into those beautiful green eyes or kissed those soft lips. Was their honeymoon the last time Carlos held his husband? It was certainly the last time they made love.

When they returned to Austin, Carlos allowed himself to be consumed with rage. His only focus was avenging what he lost...which made him forget to love what he still had. 

But this is his wake-up call.

"Mijo..."

Carlos pulls away from his mother as he stands. He took an indefinite leave of absence from APD to pursue Gabriel's case; he took the same leave of absence from being a husband.

But as of right now, Carlos is back on duty.

____________

The 126 executes the rescue like they always do – as a family, as a team.

TK is unresponsive when they find him, but he's alive.

That's all that matters.

____________

Carlos is halfway to the scene when Owen calls.

"Please tell me you found him."

"We did," Owen confirms, though he doesn't ask how Carlos knew TK was missing. "We're still wrapping up here, so can you meet him at the hospital? If you're not too busy..."

The words are meant to sting. They're meant to send a message of their own, and Carlos deserves it.

"I'm heading there now," he replies as the Camaro sails through an intersection.

____________

A miracle.

That's the doctor's only explanation for how his patient survived an explosion with just a minor concussion.

My miracle, Carlos thinks as he kisses TK's bruised forehead.

____________

TK doesn’t remember coming to the hospital. He doesn’t remember anything, except –

“Baby. You with me?”

TK blinks as he realizes Carlos is sitting beside him.

“Hey. How do you feel?”

“My head hurts,” TK admits as he glances around the room. “What happened?”

“There was an explosion,” Carlos explains, his fingers gentle as they fan through TK’s hair. “But you’re gonna be okay. They’re discharging you soon.”

“Is Dad coming?”

“He’ll meet us at the loft.”

“Us?” Maybe it’s the concussion, but TK is confused. “You’re taking me home? Don’t you need to – ”

“I don’t need to be anywhere except right here,” Carlos replies, holding TK’s gaze. “I love you. It’s been too long since I’ve told you that.”

Carlos has said those three words every night before he hangs up, but they were delivered on autopilot. For weeks, I love you meant practically nothing. To hear them now with such conviction and sincerity makes TK want to cry.

“My dad’s case is important,” Carlos continues. “But you are my husband, TK. You will always be the most important part of my life. I’m sorry I haven’t been showing that lately. And I promise I’ll never make you doubt that again.”

TK nods and reaches up, closing his eyes as Carlos wraps him in a hug.

____________

The next morning, TK wakes up in his husband’s arms.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, smiling when their sleepy kisses turn into something more.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Re: Ana "because news about it never reached them, suggests that Swift's PR was actively squashing them. "

Yep! They definitely wanted to avoid liability and was able to spin most of the bad press because -wait for it- US swiffers dont read Portuguese. Most of the articles discussing the death of Ana (and the injuries of over 1000 fans and the death of the robbery victim before the show) were in Portuguese as many of the rightfully critical sources were Brazil based. This gave swifts team the upper hand and could just say whatever she wanted because who's gonna google translate when they can absolve mother immediately. Swift/her team claimed she contacted Ana's family privately, the family (I believe her cousin and sister) replied to the announcement on twitter that she did not. Then she actually reached out and invited them to take a pic with her. Yknow with the woman who was responsible for their relatives death. PR also released all sorts of Travis lovey dovey, and holiday plan articles. The only things I've seen in English were random relationship bullshit and some article that mentioned how frizzy her hair looked in Brazil. It was 100% a coverup; I think they knew they'd be liable for negligence and distanced themselves as much as possible. While still making tons of money.

Also I'm sure it's obvious but she's racist as fuck and does not care about her fans of color. She wouldn't even stay in Brazil during that bit. She flew to one of her houses every night. Not white af Scotland though, they need to hydrate ✨✨

Oh yeah- I also saw a lot of cover up stories. I saw so many fans posting to insta about how out-of-breath Taylor looked- yet none of those people were talking about the literal death and hospitalizations occurring around her. They were only talking about how hard it must have been for Taylor Swift to sing in those conditions- and "omg look how much Mother cares about us"

Gimme a break-

I wish I never see another article about Taylor Swift's hair being frizzy ever again! or another article about her stupid football boyfriend.

Swift sure does use the media to cover up her shitty life choices a lot for someone who also claims the media is constantly bullying her.

Dear Taylor Swift, which is it? Are you a victim of the media- or do you have enough media outlets in your pocket now to keep you forever absolved of any wrongdoing?

Can you imagine that your family member just died at a concert- and the Musician of that Concert essentially went "Whoops, how about a photo-op? That's enough recompense, right?"

How utterly crass- Shameful.

Anyway- yeah I am also getting bad vibes from the fact that she's been so caring about people in the USA and UK- yet everywhere else it seems like she just doesn't care.

Bad, Bad, Racist, vibes from that one.

[drivinmeinsane]

Would you wanna expand on Anna and K being siblings in all ways that matter? I agree, I'd just like to hesr your thoughts on the matter too :]

Oh man, you've opened a can of worms. 👀 Here's some of my rambling threads of thoughts complete with my mauled digital copy of the script and screencaps galore.

Spoilers for Blade Runner 2049 under the cut.

From the moment Ana is introduced, even before we meet her face to face, she is a mirror of K. They are copies of one another. Two people can't have the exact same genetic code, but the closest one can get is twins. They shared their defining memory and splintered off later in life as siblings do.

There was always meant to be two of them. The files say that one died from an illness and the other lived. We find out that Ana was stuck on-world from an illness that she developed. Only, she didn't die. She was left behind and abandoned to work for Wallace and other corporations needing her memory making services. Ana is the real girl and K is her ghost.

A life of freedom as long as it's behind glass. K has the same as long as he obeys the rigid system that keeps him tethered. Neither are truly living. It's escapism. They both dream of realities where they are loved. By illegally putting her memory into K, Ana created a family member. He's her copy—a sibling, a twin—someone who shared her life experience and could relate. Two children, protecting the only item they have left from a father who they had never met. As one, they had stowed it away in a furnace and enduring being beaten. They lived this. Together. Ana's last name of Stelline. Little stars. It beings to mind the Gemini zodiac sign. The twins. Castor and Pollux and their horses. K was the invisible companion of Ana, an unborn ghost. Maybe she imagined him when things got too dismal. Maybe she thought about having a brother or a sister. When the time came, she offered up the memory to the Wallace corporation so the burden of that childhood could be shared, understood. A sibling made reality. A ghost was made solid, living flesh. Who would have thought that replicant would come looking? Who would have thought Officer K would break every shred of genetic modification and careful conditioning to find her, his sister, while searching for answers because he cared, because he was part of Ana's scattered family and didn't know it.

Again, they mirror each other. In the same moment that Ana is looking at the snow falling on her hand, K is doing the same. Even in the end, they are connected. Left hand and right hand—two parts of a whole.

No one had ever come for K. He makes sure someone comes for Ana. He knows what it's like to want family so badly that your very bones ache, that you would kill another one of your kind for the first time for it. He found their father and brought him home. He was a good brother, a good son.

There is a void over Ana's right shoulder where K should be. Her ghost—her copy—has died even if she does not know it yet. His death in a roundabout way fulfills the prophecy of the DNA database findings. Two siblings, a boy and a girl. One dies. He haunted her before his inception and he haunts her still after his body is found on the stairs of the upgrade center. If only she had spoken up. If only K had told Deckard the truth. If only there had been another way to love someone without remaining a stranger.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record because I've honestly lost count of how many times I've said this, I genuinely believe Deckard would have shrugged and accepted the fact that he and Rachael had had two kids.

I think the three of them could have been happy together, but Blade Runner 2049 is a modern Greek tragedy seeped in the lore from thousands of years ago. There are no joyous endings here.

[angelflms]

Hello,

My name is Anas Al Burri. I am 17 years old, and I live in G*za. My sister has jaundice because she gave birth to her child in an unhygienic area during the war. She has no medication, and her condition is worsening, almost life-threatening. She is too ill to produce milk for her son, and we can't get milk from anywhere else. I have no medication for my diabetes! I am missing insulin, and my blood sugar is critically high, often above 180 and sometimes even 400. I suffer from hyperglycemia attacks and can't get to a hospital because we are in the northern part of G*za.

Three months ago, my 14-year-old brother Ahmad was searching for something to eat when he was sh*ot in the ch*est by sni*pers from a kilometer away. The bul*let went straight through his body. He was just a CHILD! We still can't believe it and keep thinking he will come back any moment. We didn't even have time to mourn him before the next family members were kill*ed.

The hardships my family and I face are beyond what words can describe. This is our last resort.

We are reaching out to you with a desperate plea. We need your help to survive. Your donation can provide us with the life-saving medications and food that we desperately need. Every act of kindness brings us closer to safety and restores a glimmer of hope in our hearts.

With your support, you can give us and many other families in G*za a chance to survive and rebuild our shattered lives. Help us survive and leave G*za so that the last of our family does not perish.

https://gofund.me/ecf94b00

Thank you for your empathy and kindness.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Anas Al-Burri and Family

❤❤

No! I'm devastated to hear about you and your family's pain. I am so sorry to hear about Ahmad. I have a younger brother and I couldn't imagine a life without him. I feel for you and your pain deeply. And you're so close in age to me too. I can't donate but the least I can do is share you gofundme. I hope that while the goal is getting reached that you and your family stay safe.

Guys please try and help out Anas' family

[faramirsonofgondor]

"I think it’s easier for Eddie to say he missed his chance with the love of his life because Shannon died instead of admitting that he missed his chance with Buck"

bruh why does this go so hard 😭 /pos

Because it’s true. Eddie has spent the majority of the series feeling extremely unfulfilled by all his (explicitly stated) romantic relationships. Shannon herself was barely a romantic interest. The most chemistry we saw them have was the fact that they slept together. IMO if Chris didn’t exist neither of them would’ve wanted to be together. They were, at most, coparents. And even in that they lacked chemistry, both of them abandoning each other and thrusting a “main parent” role onto the other.

From Eddie’s side of this we see that his parents have largely influenced the way he acts, with his Catholicism being the main reason he married Shannon. Furthermore, his father’s advice of “pushing through your feelings” and machoism is what led Eddie to be incapable of vulnerability with most people in his life. I think when Eddie married Shannon he could already imagine all the ways his parents would try and obsess over the situation and that’s what ultimately pushed him away. But he didn’t really take any of Shannon’s feelings into regard when making his decision. Similarly, I think Shannon having to deal with raising Chris and managing his condition on her own while Eddie’s parents were in the background hovering is part of the reason she left. I think she knew what she was going to do to Eddie and Chris was unfair, but she decided to put herself first anyways.

When they decide to start sleeping together again it isn’t out of love or even real sexual attraction, it’s out of convenience and avoidance. If all they do is sleep together and play pretend for a while then they won’t have to acknowledge the fact that they aren’t in love and that they aren’t good for each other. Every single time they sleep together or try to act like a couple it’s because they feel forced into that role. They slept together once as teens and now they feel like they can’t let go of each other since they have a kid together.

It’s clear from his relationship with Ana that he’s just looking for someone to fill a motherly role for Chris, but I think it started before Shannon died with Shannon herself. Even in the scene where he tries to re-propose to Shannon he says Chris “deserves his Mommy too. He loves his mommy. So do I. I want us to be a family again.” And later Shannon says “I can’t fail him again, or you. I won’t. I’m still learning how to be someone’s mother, and maybe after that I can learn how to be someone’s wife”

While it may seem like they have hope for a future together, to me it finalizes the end of their relationship, seeing as they both admit to missing/wanting each other to fill the roles they think they should. Eddie says he wants them “to be a family” but doesn’t say “I want you to be there with me, support me, etc.” because he’s reaching for a concept, an ideal, an expectation. Shannon does the same thing by saying she needs to learn how to be a wife and mother, not Eddie’s wife, not Chris’s mother, but a wife and a mother. She’s already distancing herself from them. She says she doesn’t want to fail them, and follows it up by asserting that she wants to fill those roles in their lives. To me this demonstrates that neither of them are actually invested in any romantic or sexual connections/feelings between them, but the comfort, convenience, and familiarity that they bring each other by filling those roles.

Then we get to his relationship with Buck. Even though they have a rocky start, within their first episode together they make a vow to have each other’s backs. This already contrasts the way both Eddie and Shannon abandon each other behind their backs (with Eddie re-enlisting without telling Shannon first, and Shannon leaving in the dead of night). In their next few episodes together (the Earthquake plot) we see Buck reassuring Eddie throughout the episode that Chris, who Buck hasn’t even met, will be safe and alright. They work together and by the end of it, Buck is the one who ends up giving Eddie a ride to get to Chris. We then see Buck observing them in this scene and in the scene where Eddie’s abuela is in the hospital. Then we see how Buck continuously supports both Eddie and Chris (giving Bobby a heads up that Chris was going to the station, introducing them to Carla, etc.)

I think the changing point in their relationship (or at least the start of some semblance of romantic acknowledgement) is in Merry Ex-Mas when Buck and Eddie talk about Shannon’s return. Both Buck and Eddie say that it’s none of Bucks business, but Eddie immediately tells Buck what’s going on. Whether it was because he wanted advice, or a listening ear, or because he just felt the need to explain himself to Buck, Eddie decides to be (somewhat) vulnerable and open up to him. Then we see the Santa’s elf tell Buck that he and Eddie have a cute kid, and Buck just goes with it.

Furthermore, Shannon’s loss probably got tangled up with Eddie’s feelings about the ladder truck bombing because they literally happened back-to-back. I think this is part of what causes Eddie to think Shannon is the love of his life and start to romanticize their relationship. Because both Shannon and Buck exited Eddie’s life so abruptly (while Buck was still alive, he was majorly injured and thus unable to see/work with Eddie for a long time) in such jarring ways, I think Eddie associated some of the loss/feelings he had because Buck wasn’t there with the feelings he had about Shannon’s death. I think he has so much catholic guilt and repression that he can’t see himself as anything other than straight because it doesn’t fit the ideals and expectations he grew up. So when he feels like the love of his life/romantic partner/soulmate is slipping away from him, he attributes that feeling to Shannon’s loss rather than Buck’s, because there’s no way he has romantic feelings for Buck, right? (wrong).

Then we get the pulmonary embolism and Tsunami, and I think these events are what lead Eddie into starting realize he has romantic feelings. But what does he do?? Represses them. I think this is also around the time where he says Buck needs to “move forward” and mentions that’s what his dad told him. I think it’s interesting that he mentions that around that time because I think him starting to realize he has feelings for Buck would bring back all his parents expectations and that’s what causes him to repress his feelings.

Then the Lawsuit happens and this is where Eddie really starts mixing up his feelings for Shannon and Buck. Like the whole “Chris and I miss you and we can’t even talk to you about it.” and when he says “you’re exhausting” and that Buck needs to “suck it up”. While I do think that could be how he genuinely felt about Buck at the time, part of it definitely feels like he’s projecting the things he wants to say to Shannon onto Buck. Like yes Eddie was grieving Shannon, but I also think it might’ve been more exhausting for Eddie to be a single father trying to raise his son after his wife left without a great support system compared to Eddie and Chris not being able to talk to Buck for a bit while still having the rest of the 118 to support them. Like what was it about Buck that made him more exhausting than what Eddie went through with Shannon?? (It’s the fact that Eddie was in love with him, that’s what.) Also even in his anger, we still see the way that Eddie can’t help but be honest/vulnerable with Buck when admits he was arrested. But then Eddie seems to realize that he said that in public in front of the whole team and he backtracks and lies about it. Eventually Eddie forgives him and they have a bit of vulnerable yet somehow sexually charged scene in the kitchen about it.

Moving on to the whole Well/Eddie Begins arc. I think while Buck’s reaction to it says something, it’s Eddie’s implied reaction that’s so interesting to me. In Eddie Begins we see the flashbacks Eddie faces of his time with Shannon, in the army, and with Chris. Yet when Eddie starts drowning, the first thing he hears is Buck’s voice asking “You got a kid?” (from the Earthquake episodes). Followed by a flashback to that scene, followed by several scenes of Eddie, Buck, and Chris all together. Then in one of the flashbacks to Eddie and Buck helping Chris down the fire pole, you hear Eddie say “you’re not just any kid, you’re my kid.” Interesting decision to have Buck in the frame while saying that. I think it was either in that scene, or in the time afterwards that Eddie has a major realization about what Buck means to him. We know that Eddie puts Buck down as Chris’ legal guardian afterwards, but the “why” behind it is so interesting to me.

The next most compelling piece of evidence is the way Eddie acts kind of bitchy to all of Buck’s girlfriends/exes/partners?? Like he never met Abby but he gets all pissed off in the S3 finale, which is a bit understandable considering she’s not a likable character but still. There’s plenty of more evidence about this so I won’t go into it too much.

Anyways, next up is the shooting arc in which the first thing Eddie does after being shot is ask Buck if he’s hurt??? And then when Buck says it should’ve been him we see Eddie get teary eyed. Then later on Eddie tells Buck about the will, not because he just got shot but because he needed Buck to know that Buck was loved, that he was wanted, that he was needed . And then come Eddie’s panic attacks and his breakup with Ana, further proof that he’s just trying to fill a motherly role in Chris’ life. Then we get to see Eddie’s breakdown in S5 and the way he only really gets vulnerable with Buck about it (almost as if he trusts Buck to help piece himself back together).

Next we see Buck’s lightning strike and (temporary) death. Immediately after Buck is stricken, we see Eddie try and pull him up as fast as he can. Then we get Eddie’s “do more!” which I find so fucking fascinating because with Shannon, when she got hit, Eddie let Chim and Hen delay her medical care and sort of just gave up on any chance of saving her. Despite what Hen said about Shannon already being dead when they got there, I doubt Eddie could really grasp that, and he didn’t snap or tell them to do more, he didn’t even fight it. But with Buck, who got struck by fucking lightning??? Whose chances of survival dropped with each minute his heart wasn’t beating?? Eddie’s fighting for him, and wants the doctors to fight for him as well. Then we get the parallel of Buck and Shannon, the way Eddie’s tearing up and can barely even look at Buck???

I think this is where the realization that Eddie is in love with Buck gets shoved in his face, but he shoves it to side so he can focus on Buck getting better. Eddie starts looking for women to date in 6x17, two episodes after Buck meets Natalia. Then when Eddie meets Marisol, Chris encourages him to go out with her and so he does. But deep down a part of him knows he’s in love with Buck. Next, we find out that Chris is “dating” multiple girls at the same time. And Eddie decides that instead of doing it himself, he should have Buck be the one to approach Chris about this (they’re never beating the baby trapping or coparent allegations). And then we find out that Chris is doing it because he thinks all women leave because of Eddie’s misfortune with Shannon (and Ana?). Then Eddie finds out Marisol would’ve been a nun and his catholic guilt resurfaces. I think it brings up a lot of his trauma and causes him to both acknowledge and repress his feelings for Buck. He’s aware of them but he also is trying desperately for them to go away. He also admits that he can’t picture himself doing the deed with Marisol anymore. Then he learns that Buck is dating Tommy (and he could’ve had a chance this whole time???) and Buck is also encouraging him to get back with Marisol. I think he only pursues this relationship because of his repression, Buck’s urging, and the fact that he desperately wants a motherly/female presence in Chris’ life (especially now that he can see it’s affecting Chris’ own relationship with girls and women).

Now we get to Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim. Kim who looks just like Shannon, except for her unique birthmark, her blonde hair, and her blue eyes. Kim who has a job helping people. Kim who bakes for Eddie as a nice gift. Kim who had an adventurous job as an actress before settling down. Kim who’s more akin to Buck personality wise than she is Shannon. Yet despite how much she looks like Shannon, Eddie can’t bring himself to be vulnerable and honest with her. No, it’s Buck who gently coaxes the admission out of Eddie, who implies that Eddie needs to come clean to her. So when he sees Kim (and sees the face of his dead wife who wanted a divorce mixed with the face of the love of his life who only wants what’s best for him) he takes Bucks advice and comes clean about it all. And while what Kim does is batshit insane, she goes about it in such a gentle way that I sincerely doubt Shannon ever would. She has all of Bucks softness and some of his looks and personality too, and so it’s so much easier to look her in the face and think “this is what I could’ve had. this was what I missed out on. this could’ve been the love of my life.” and maybe he can convince himself and everyone around him that he means Shannon, but deep down some part of him knows that it was Buck he was thinking of all along.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk. (sorry for any grammar errors I am so tired and I spent like an hour and a half writing this)

[wisteriaiswriting]

Hi!! I saw that your request were open so I wanted to request something!

Imagine reaper had a daughter with his (ex???) wife before he died / disappeared, she knew him as a hero and always admired him etc. so his daughter joined overwatch after a few years now that she was older and wanted to follow her dad’s steps (obviously not knowing the behind scenes of his job) but in a mission reaper sees her and is not capable of doing his job because he recognizes his little girl

I had an oc that was reapers daughter but saw a post about widowmaker with a child and I NEEDED someone to write one for reaper— THANK YOU, take your time and take care <333

𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 𝔹𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤

Words: 576

Also wording reader as his child, as I don't do female readers!

���Told you she would grow on you Gabe.”

“What.” He didn’t understand what Ana meant. If anything it was about Pharah, but if anything she grew on him years ago, not that he would admit it. She only sighed and shook her head, pointing behind him.

Finding his wife, Martina. Her hands were cupped around something that she held to her chest, slowly opening them. In her hands sat a pregnancy test. He only stared, so she rightfully got worried.

“Really?” She nodded. Instantly he rushed over to her, lifting her into his arms. He was never good at words, but his actions made up for it.

***

The months passed before you and your brother were born. While he took after her you were a mix of both. He became a mummy's boy, so Gabriel made sure you were a daddy’s kid. And with the amount of overwatch posters and apparel around it would’ve been surprising if you weren’t.

What was even more surprising was that he just didn’t return. None of the family realized until Jack, also known as Soldier 76, alerted you. But that wouldn’t do much when there was no trace of where he went.

So the next few decades you had to grow up without him present, with the closet being all the posters still hanging. Although they were quickly removed and hidden. It didn’t stop you from following his footsteps even as your mother testified.

It would be dangerous, even life risking. But you were willing to take that risk, after all your father did.

***

Arms wrapped around your waist and hauled you into the air, although it wasn’t hard to figure out it was. The massive muscles revealed it as Reinhardt, then came his voice, yelling even though he was right behind you.

“Look at you, finally grown up!” Suddenly his arms were gone but you weren’t on the ground. Instead he had thrown you into the air, making sure you safely land and stay on his shoulder.

“ANA!” There he went, bringing you along to show off that you were back, now to work.

***

Even if you just joined you were much more prepared than other recruits. Likely from the fact you had been training all your life with Ana, Jack and sometimes Reinhardt, who never wanted to hurt you during so.

So that came in handy very quickly. As you were selected for a mission, going with other official overwatch members. Ana, Brigitte, Genji, Cassidy and D.Va. Flown across the world to your location, Busan in South Korea.

It was a simple recon mission. Get in, find the needed information then leave. But you guys were never going to do it alone. Talon hiding in the shadows, keeping track of their own information.

Reaper had made his way around and behind your team, able to follow the familiar voices.

“Genji!”

“McCree!” Of course he would run into those two. Thinking his time with them was long but over, apparently not. Stepping out closer to watch the commotion, not expecting another familiar sight.

“McCree, don’t step any closer.”

“And why is that?”

“You don’t want to piss off Reyes do you?” Following his words you walked into their sights. Ultimately making McCree back off, not before complaining.

“Reyes won't be able to keep you safe forever.”

Even with Gabriel out of your life you were much more similar than you realized. And hopefully you didn’t become too close.

[be-side-my-self]

Watching Season 4 of Only Murders In The Building. (E8)

Rewatch of ONLY Murders In The Building to prepare for season 4:

<Part I> // <Part II> // <Part III> // <Part IIII> // <Part V> // <Part VI> // <Part VII> // <Part VIII>

<S4 E1> // <S4 E2> // <S4 E3> // S4 E4 // <S4 E5> // <S4 E6> // <S4 E7>

This is no rewatch but my new posts can also easily be blocked because I'll continue to use #OMITBRewatch as a tag. I'll also tag #OMITBS4. While quoting, I use M, O, C for the main characters.

Beware spoilers! (even though it's saturday... I am sick but finally find the time to watch the episode)

S4 E8

Okay, let's go!

I don't think I watched even one Hitchcock movie.

We know how Vince and Richard know Dudenoff but we are still missing the connection to Alfonso, Inez and Ana?

Ah, Helga! Hammy Faye belonged to her?

M: "How do neither of you know how to pop the hood of a car?" O: "Because real men hire other men, Mabel." C: "Triple-A says they're 15 minutes away, and it's good to leave them something to do 's cause it makes 'em happy." Tbf, I have to search for the lever in my car every time I have to pop the hood... but at least I have an idea where it is.

Always the iphone ring tone.

Aw cute Charles and Vance were wordle buddies.

lmao the stars and the originals meet at the set of Charle's apartment instead of Charle's apartment.

Loretta and Oliver are getting married this weekend? That is fast... okay they are old but it's also very fast.

Love how Mabels stare put Zach in his place.

The "Lady Longoria 19-in-1 Multitool." is going to be Checkov's gun, is it not?

Omg. No, Eugene! Don't try to get Charles angry!

Ah! Dudenoff and his wive went to the restaurant owned by Alfonso and Inez.

Alfonso: "Tony Dancer would be an investor."

Love that Rudy is doing the whole monologue when most only do one or two lines.

Dudenoff, being philosophical: "Let me ask you somethin'. If your life were a movie, what would be your happy ending?" Eva, saying what I also thought a moment earlier before I rememberd that Dudenoff is probably not that kind of guy: "And that's when he touched your Santa sack, and you had your 'happy ending.'"

Vince what you describe is depression.

Love that Dudenoff is calling Vince 'kid'.

So, the westies did not do it?

Helga!

C: "You're Helga? I imagined you toothless with a club." WHY CHALRLES?! O: "Disregard him, Helga. His brain is covered with plaque. Please go on." I don't think that is the explaination but okay.

I like Helga. A girl with the dream of bekoming a locksmith since her childhood is something special.

Aw :( why the unneeded sarcasm Helga..? that makes her less sympathetic. But she is a locksmith.

Again the "Perfect Strangers" song.

What I'm confused about is that Helga has such a strong accent when we can assume that she grew up in America. What was she? Dutch? Norwegian? Swedish? I forgot... either way they all learn english very early on too.

lmao Charles folding stuff in the background.

What now?

Where are they?

Did Dudenoff kill himself?

Wow that is harsh... Dudenoff just made everyone accomplices...

I'm not sure the camera would be good enough for that lighting.

okay but who killed Sazz?

Okay... Zach can connect (kiss) Oliver because they are both romantics...

Found families really is a topic in the whole show...

WHO KILLED SAZZ?!?!

What about Howard..?

Suddenly a completely new character?? Or it's Glen.

WAS I RIGHT AND IT'S ABOUT THE STUNTPEOPLE?!

Helga: "She talked about a stuntman on a movie called Project Ronkonkoma."

It's Glen!

Heck. What a twist.

But even if it was Glen who killed Sazz because of something, he would have no reason to stop the OG 3 from making the podcast so there is still a bigger storyline in the background?

[creativepawsworld]

Silence - Chapter 57

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x OC

Summary = The Long Awaited Wedding Day

Warnings = Language...Grammar...Death mentioned....violence implied...fluff...cute moments...wedding...alcohol

Word Count = 3,787

Note =Firstly, I am sorry for the wait. I am honestly considering ending this story here and there abouts because I feel I am not giving it the love and attention I have in the past and I know you are all frustrated waiting for updates or at least the scattered updates can be annoying and I get that and apologise. I do hope if you are reading this that you enjoy it and thank you so much for sticking with me. Love you all 💙

Always please give love to @forgottenpeakywriter aka Selene Shelby for the artwork for this chapter. She made this month's ago and I finally get to use it.

Standing in my former bedroom in my parents’ home wearing a wedding dress felt surreal. It was truly happening. I was getting married. But it was so much more different than I could have ever imagined. I was now a mother, to the most perfect little angel. The relationship with my parents was much better than it was four years previous and my best friend, my true best friend was dead. My brother James Adler. But I knew he was beside me today. He wouldn’t let me go through this day on my own. 

I could just imagine his words now, ‘I can’t believe you fell for Thomas Shelby when I told you not to. And now you are marrying him?’. I can imagine him chuckling in my ear as he fixed the lapels of the suit he would wear to my wedding. He would talk me through my nerves for the day, assuring me everything was going to be okay.

Before he died he knew Tommy made me happy. Anyone could see how happy that man made me. I’d happily shout it from the rooftops if I wasn’t afraid of heights. I had truly and utterly fallen in love with that Peaky Blinder Devil, Thomas Shelby and I didn't see that changing anytime soon. 

Looking in the mirror I brushed down the beautiful lace of my dress. I was ready, all I had to do was wait for one of Tommy’s men to take me to the location. I didn’t know where the wedding was, Tommy wouldn't tell me. He kept everything about this wedding hush-hush. 

I didn't know if this was because he thought I might change my mind and say no or if it was just his need to have control after what happened at the Derby when he nearly lost his life. Either way, I was happy to let him take the lead, I was kept busy with our daughter. 

I walked down the stairs, my father looked handsome dressed in a beautiful hand-tailored suit he had created himself for the wedding, while my mother wore a beautiful blush pink dress. She was making tea, ushering a small piece of bread towards me, wanting me to eat it. But I shook my head. My nerves were too much, I couldn’t eat a thing. 

“Butterflies” I shake my head holding my stomach. I look down at my daughter's bassinet. She was sleeping soundly, small coos coming from her pink lips every so often. She was honestly the most beautiful little girl I ever laid my eyes on. I could stare at her all day and never get bored. 

“B…b…beautiful” My father tried to speak, walking over to me and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. A proud look in his eyes as we looked at each other. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as he nodded. 

Today was a big day for all of us. For my parents, it was the day they officially loose their daughter to a man. For me, it was the day I married the love of my life. The father of my child. Today was the day our families joined together and become one. 

After a moment of silence, a loud bang was heard at the door followed by a loud voice walking into my parents’ home. I looked around at the front door to see John walking into the living room. 

“Alrigh’ Ana ready to get hitched?” John grinned, nodding at my parents in acknowledgement. “Well shit, don't you look beautiful. Like an angel” 

“Thank you, John” I whispered. The butterflies had exploded from my stomach and were working their way through my body. I could feel tingling sensations in my arms, it was like electricity in my fingertips.

“Nervous? Aye, big commitment this “ John nodded reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a flask. “Want some? Might settle the nerves” He chuckled with that cheeky grin of his, blue eyes shining with mischief. 

“I’ll pass” I chuckled “How is Tommy?” I asked biting my lip as I played with my fingers nervously. 

John licked his lips as he debated how to answer the question. “Tommy is Tommy” John chuckled. “He seems cool, and in control but he is probably a nervous wreck under that stony face that you seem to love." John joked, licking his lips. "You’re a special girl to him Ana. I’ve never seen him like this over a woman” 

“Really?” I asked a small smile pulling at my lips. 

“Well no actually, there is one other girl he acts all goofy for…” John trailed off that cheeky grin of his growing. “And it is my perfect little niece sleeping all precious in that cot” He spoke looking over at Roselle. “I still can’t believe Tommy helped create something so innocent and pure” 

“Tommy is a good man, John, you know that” I smiled walking over and placing my hand on his shoulder as we stared at my sleeping daughter. “You all are” 

John pursed his lips before nodding his head. “Maybe” He sighed before rubbing his hands together “Alright we gotta move, cars out front I’m driving, Mr and Mrs Adler you can ride in the back with Roselle, Ana in front with me."

****** 

The drive felt like it took forever but when I looked at the clock it had only taken twenty minutes. John had driven us to an open field that usually lay empty, only today it was filled with different, brightly coloured vardos and several people. They were all around small campfires. There were people I didn’t recognise and a few I did. 

In the middle of all the vardos and people was a walkway, lined with candles and flower petals. At the end of the walkway was an arch, a beautiful arch filled with flowers of all different colours. Haybales lined each side I assumed for our guests to sit. I slowly exited the car in my wedding dress admiring the view, my parents got out behind me with my daughter. I noticed that she was awake and decided I wanted to hold her to help settle my nerves. 

I looked up at my mother and father who both nodded proudly. It was evident on their faces that they to appreciate Tommy’s efforts to make the venue beautiful. In the distance I saw, Arthur, Ada and Polly. They seemed to laughing and enjoying themselves, each one looking beautiful and dressed up for the occasion. 

It was only a matter of minutes now till we became family, officially. 

John whistled rather loudly drawing the attention of some of the men who in turned to alert the others. It was rather amusing to watch, as each man whistled to the next signalling my arrival, the guests all seemed to make their way towards the haybales to take a seat. 

When word had reached Polly she quickly walked in our direction, a surprised look on her face as she eyed me from head to toe. “Ana my dear I’ve never seen you look so beautiful. This dress is so you” Polly grinned the seconds she reached me. “My grand niece is awake I see, excited for the big day” She cooed stroking Roselle’s cheek. 

“Polly this place, how did you all get a field to look so, wonderful?” I asked softly. This setting was much better than I could ever imagine. It was better than a stuffy church wedding I always dreamt of, it simply surpassed it in every level possible. 

“Tommy, the boy has an exquisite vision when given the chance” Polly smiled “Alright almost show time, let me take the little lady, your mother can follow me and we shall see you at the other side Mrs Shelby” Polly smiled taking my daughter from my hands and walking with my mother to seat down. 

“You feeling good Mr Adler?” John asked offering him a sip of his flask which my father happily accepted. “Almost showtime, whenever the band starts playing just walk down the middle, Tommy will see you at the bottom” John winked, taking back his flask and going to stand next to Arthur. 

I bit my lip realising that John, Arthur and Finn were acting as groomsmen for Tommy and I had no one representing me. In that moment of weakness, I realised I probably should have spent more time making friends and trying to have a life outside of Tommy and even Roselle. 

My father gently stroked my arm offering me a small smile as he rubbed my upper arm carefully. Before I could open my mouth to speak we were joined by Esme, Ada and Lizzie. 

“You didn’t think we’d let you enter into this lion's den alone did you” Esme smiled sending me a wink. 

“You may not have chosen us to be your friends but we sure as hell are your family” Ada nodded.

“You’ll need all the support you can get marrying Tommy Ana. But there is no better woman for it” Lizzie smiled offering me a hug which I gladly accepted. 

My heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest at the overwhelming support of these girls. Ada’s words in particular stayed with me, of course, these women were my family. We had been through so much over the past few years how could I have not thought of them as friends? I did have people outside of Tommy and Roselle, yes Tommy may have introduced us but our bond was much deeper than that now. 

Hearing music, the girls squealed in delight, making a show as they walked down the walkway John had pointed out earlier. When Lizzie finally moved aside I saw Tommy, he was standing at the other side his face stoic where he stood. His hands were clasped together in front of him, he was wearing a beautiful navy blue suit that just made his eyes pop. He had a beautiful white flower on the lapel of his suit, letting everyone know he was the groom. 

“R…ready” My father grimaced slightly in pain but smiled through it as he offered me his arm. I gladly took it feeling the butterflies float all over my body, images of falling entered my head so I gripped tightly onto his upper arm. We started to slowly walk down the pathway, I tried to keep my head up, and shoulders back and reach Tommy without falling and making a fool of myself. With each step I took I felt like it was lasting forever, the walkway seemed to be growing instead of shrinking. Would I ever make it to the end? 

I was so consumed with my thoughts that it was only when my father placed my hands in Tommy’s did the panic, stop. I instantly recognised his touch and I felt relief. The weight had been lifted and everything seemed right in the world. I look up at him smiling brightly as he gazed into my eyes, a small smile tugged on the corner of his lips. 

“You look beautiful” He smiled, reaching up and cupping the side of my cheek and jaw softly in his hands. His thumb gently stroked along my cheekbone. 

“And you look so handsome, I love the navy on you” I smiled a bright toothy smile as we looked into each other’s eyes. 

The moment was broken by Johnny's dogs clearing his throat. I glanced at him briefly before turning to Tommy, he was officiating the wedding? I asked with my eyes causing Tommy to chuckle. 

“He knows what he’s doing, he blessed John and Esme’s’ wedding I thought he could do ours too” Tommy grinned, sending a quick wink as he positioned us in the middle of everyone’s eyeline. Front and centre where the bride and groom should be. 

“Alrigh let’s get this wedding going before Tommy holds it off any longer eh?” Johnny Dogs spoke rather loud so everyone could hear. His statement made the guests chuckle in amusement. A small dig at Tommy for the length of time he waited before finally allowing us to wed. 

***** 

The wedding ceremony went off without incident, something I was grateful for considering who I was marrying and the gang I was marrying into. It seemed that everything was finally at peace. Major Campbell was gone along with all our problems, at least that's what it felt like. As far as I was aware we could now have a normal life. 

Tommy could continue his work with the factories and betting shop, yes he fixed races but he had police officers on his side it wasn’t something he would be arrested for now Campbell was dead. They would continue looking in the opposite direction. 

I hadn’t had any more threats of incidents with the Italians and Tommy seemed to be caught up with planning this wedding and keeping his business operating in both Birmingham and London to even consider going after them. Things were finally, as normal as they could be. 

After saying our vows and having a few pictures taken, the party had truly begun. The Shelby family, along with my own and our friends were celebrating our union. Whiskey, rum, beer and gin were all flowing. Where Johnny Dogs once stood was now a giant bonfire where people danced around. 

Tommy had invited most of the people from Small Heath allowing them to celebrate with us, showing he was still a man of his people. Each guest had brought food for everyone to share, members of the Lee family that Tommy invited brought meat that they cooked on the open bonfire. 

I took a moment to feed my daughter away from the madness that occurred after our ceremony. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it I loved it I just needed a moment to breathe and relax. A moment to digest everything that has happened today. I was finally Mrs Shelby. 

Mrs Thomas Shelby that was a lot to digest. I was now a wife. 

I sat humming softly to my daughter as she ate from my breast. It was hard manoeuvring myself from the dress while holding a small baby but I managed it. Lost in my thoughts I felt a presence sitting down next to me. I looked over finding my mother, a small smile on her face as she gently stoked Roselle’s head as she ate. 

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. The sound of my wedding was in the background, I could hear Tommy shouting at his brothers and his men that there would be no fighting at his wedding. He knew I didn’t like violence. There was still a part of me haunted by the time Tommy was being beaten to a pulp thanks to Sabini and his men all those years ago. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life, I truly thought I was going to lose him. 

After feeding my daughter, I looked over at my mother. “Would you like to nurse the wind from her?” I asked softly to which she nodded, taking the infant from me and rubbing her back as I got my wedding dress back on. “She’s getting so big already isn’t she?” I smiled with a small laugh. 

My mother nodded, she was happy that was the main emotion but there was also sadness in her eyes. “James would have loved to be here” She spoke. 

It took me a moment to realise that actual words had left my mother's lips. My eyes widened and I sat in shock I couldn’t believe it. I looked down at her as she nursed my daughter, feeling the need to pinch myself. I hadn’t heard my mother's voice since her attack almost a year ago. 

“Mother I…” 

“I know I wasn’t fair on you or James for that I can only apologise.” She whispered, tears falling from her eyes. “I said and did things I am not proud of. I tried to force my beliefs, and my ways onto you and I can see now that it was wrong. What your father and I did was wrong.” 

I remain quiet when she brings up the arrangement she and my father made with the Italians all those years before. 

“You have a good man now who will protect you from the mistakes your father and I made. We can’t apologise enough because it will never be enough but we will do everything we can to make it right.” She continued, saying the most I think she has ever spoken to me throughout my life. “I want to thank you for letting us be involved in Roselle's life” 

“Of course, she needs to know her grandparents, you’re the only set she has” I whispered feeling emotional at this conversation. It was a lot to process, there were apologies, truth and the fact it was the first time she had spoken since the attack. It felt like a lot to handle. 

“Go now and get something to eat. You must be starving” She spoke holding my daughter tight against her chest. “She is just so precious, I’ll keep her safe” 

I nodded leaning in to hug my mother “Despite the past, I still love you very much” I whispered in her ear before going to get myself something to eat. Due to my nerves all morning I didn’t eat and now the main event was over, I was starving. 

When I rejoined the wedding, I looked around finding Tommy laughing with his brothers as they drank their sacred whiskey. His tie was undone and his suit jacket was long gone. He looked so comfortable, so relaxed. I couldn’t help but admire him, for the first time in a long time, it seemed like his mind was at ease. 

There was no planning, no next steps. At least that’s how he presented. 

I got myself a plate of food when I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind, his face buried into my neck. He placed soft kisses along the back of my neck, his teeth nibbling every so often.  

“I am a lucky ass man eh” Tommy chuckled into my neck. 

“I feel the same way Tommy” I smiled leaning into his arms, simply enjoying his strong embrace. 

“Where’s Rosie?” He asked going back to nibbling along my neck and shoulder. 

“My mother has her and Tommy…” I spoke turning around to face him and putting my plate of food down. “She spoke to me” 

“Who Rosie?” Tommy asked confused. I could tell he had a lot more than a few glasses of whiskey to drink if he was slow to catch on to who I meant. 

“No my mother” I chuckled “Are you a little drunk Mr Shelby?” I teased running my hands up and down his chest. 

“Only slightly” He chuckled holding me close, hands on my hips “Your mother spoke to you, words? Not hand gestures?” 

“Actually words Tommy” I nodded. 

“That’s…what did she say love? She didn’t upset you?” Tommy asked and I shook my head, explaining to Tommy the entire nature of our conversation. “But you're happy?” 

“I’m happy” I nodded, I loved that Tommy cared. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay, that nothing upset me today of all days. I loved his protective nature. He was truly everything to me. 

As Tommy and I spoke, my mother returned Roselle as she and my father were going home for the evening, a peaky blinder would be taking them home and staying with them for protection as usual. Just because things were quiet didn’t mean that Tommy let up on the security. 

“How do you feel about making a few more like her huh? I’m sure Polly will take her tonight for a few hours…we could make another and another and another…” 

“Easy Mr Shelby” I giggled at him, biting my lip. I loved this side of Tommy. The happy, carefree Tommy who smiled and was happy. 

“Ah, now Mrs Shelby you can’t deny a man, a groom his wedding night with the most beautiful bride in the world.” Tommy grinned leaning in close, cupping my face with his larger hand. “You can’t deny me, my wife, you are mine now… my property” 

“God Tommy when you talk like that you make it hard to resist” 

“That’s the point my love” Tommy grinned leaning in to kiss my lips carefully. “Let’s find Polly so I can take my wife in the way she deserves. You got it?” 

“I got it” I grinned. I felt so happy, so free. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt like I was in heaven. On cloud nine. This night couldn’t have been more perfect if I had tried to make it so. 

Tommy had called Polly over passing over our daughter before tugging on my hand towards a vardo that sat far from the wedding. “We will still be close if she needs us my love but I need to make you mine tonight Mrs Shelby.” 

“I’m ready to be yours for the first time as your wife Tommy” I smiled leaning in to kiss his lips. "I can’t wait” 

As Tommy and I walked towards Vardo, we were cut off by Finn running past us like this life depended on it. I looked after him with confusion when I noticed Arthur coming up behind him, an angry scowl on his face. 

“Ignore them we have bigger things to worry about” Tommy shook his head with a sigh as we moved towards the beautiful red vardo with yellow and orange delicate patterns. Opening the door I could see a small frown on his face as he made eye contact with John, silently warning him to sort it out. 

“They are drunk and having fun Mr Shelby. Just let it go” 

“I fucking warn 'em love that’s what bothers me” He spoke as we entered the small vardo. It was beautiful inside. It looked incredibly homely and unbelievably comfortable. I lay back on the small bed looking up at Tommy with a sultry smile. 

“If you’d rather deal with that than be here with me…I understand” I whispered licking my lips. 

“That is never going to happen Mrs Shelby” Tommy grinned, his mood shifting as he fell on top of me making sure to land on his forearms so he didn’t hurt me. But I could still feel his body pressing into mine. He leaned down kissing my lips deeply as I relaxed into the mattress. "I love you, Mrs Shelby" 

"And I love you, Mr Shelby" 

Taglist

@shelbyteller @seleneshelby @forgottenpeakywriter @babayaga67 @sweetmilkshakeluminary @slutforcoffein @sydneyyyya @happysparklingshadows @margew76   @midnightmagpiemama  @pierre-gasssllyy  @duckybird101 @muhahaha303 @thenattitude  @dolllol2405 @citylights31

Anyone wanting on or off the tag list please just let me know💙

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Manga Review - Sirius: Twin Stars

A Bright Star of Yuri with Meaningful Symbolism and Incredible, Dramatic Characters

Sirius: Twin Stars is the second manga from Spanish Yuri artist Ana C. Sánchez. As with Alter Ego, her previous work, Tokyopop publishes it in English under its LOVE x LOVE and International Women of Manga line. Similarly to Alter Ego, this oneshot tells a dramatic, if somewhat contrived, romance between two young women with surprising depth and artistic merit. And yet, as long as we are compare the two, I find I enjoy Sirius far more than its predecessor. The manga improves on Alter Ego in almost every way, from the characters and their connection to its pacing and artwork. And considering that Alter Ego is not by any means a low-quality manga, I awarded it a six out of ten, after all, the comparison further cements Sirius’ quality.

Sirius begins as Dani, a teenage or very young adult tennis prodigy and daughter of a former champion, is relocated to her family’s villa by the sea to recover after an as-of-yet unspecified tragedy. As they drive along the shore, Dani catches sight of a beautiful and bright woman carrying a telescope, Blanca.

These opening panels are some of the best in the manga, establishing Dani’s early determination and drive to become a tennis legend like her mother, the collapse of that “unattainable childhood ideal,” and the surly cynicism that has overtaken the once exuberant girl. Her gaze, narrowed and turned downward, is contrasted wonderfully by Blanca’s joyful and open observance of the beach and beautiful blue sky. Although they have yet to meet, the dynamic between the two main characters and the inevitable struggle between their optimistic and shattered worldview is immediately apparent, setting the stage for their relationship.

A few pages of this introduction depict a surreal and imaginative scene drenched in symbolism, its meaning becoming clearer throughout the story. As a figure of Dani walks a narrow, crocked yet direct path towards her goal, a distant conflux of light that dominates her focus, the road behind her starts to crumble, signifying both the degrading relationship she and her mother and coach had throughout her career and Dani’s loss of innocence and passion that occurred before events of the story. As the figure looks back and realizes the path behind her is crumbling, the way forward similarly decays, leaving her isolated, suspended over a pit of “monsters.” The figure stands there with no way forward toward her lost dream, no route of return to the idyllic days before she lost her luster and her relationship with her mother, and no escape from the lonely solitude, a lone trapped figure.

The full story of what happened with Dani is revealed slowly throughout the manga. Through visuals, dialogue, and narration Sánchez allude to the full story of Dani’s fall from grace in the tennis world and the falling out she had with her mother before the manga’s start. Early moments like Dani’s panic attack at seeing her old tennis racket plant pieces of the larger story, hinting at the truth.

These seeds help readers develop a picture and narrative of these events, which gradually expand thanks to later sequences like a nightmare from Dani and more grounded and reliable flashbacks. By the time Dani reveals her entire, unedited backstory, many aspects of which I have danced around, as readers really should experience it for themselves, it feels like a satisfying confirmation, verifying the chronology we have primarily constructed ourselves and slotting it into its greater context in the story and Dani’s psyche. It is a wonderfully paced and enthralling story that makes excellent use of the relatively oneshot’s limited page counts and actively involves readers in Dani’s journey and recovery. While the romance plot is as evident as any Yuri story, the personal, character-driven plot forges a strong connection with its subject, creating a hunger for answers and resolution that quickly engages readers.

The other subject of Sirius, Blanca, is a foil to Dani. Her natural charm and brightness make her the perfect subject to counteract Dani’s sullen and traumatized demeanor. She is an enthusiastic stargazer, and her unrelenting devotion to it mirrors Dani’s former tennis goals. As the story progresses and the two girls develop an unlikely relationship and romance,

Blanca’s fiery fascination with astronomy affects Dani deeply. The broken young woman becomes enchanted by her friend’s motivation. She slowly starts to open up to these feelings of excitement again and starts having romantic feelings for Blanca, the star who can save her and repair the broken pieces of her dream.

However, Blanca starts to experience doubt and guilt caused by her confused feelings for Dani. Upon discovering the truth of Dani’s past, Blanca believes herself culpable for the former’s pain, regretting sharing her aspiration so enthusiastically with the girl who had lost hers. It leads to her withdrawing from Dani and lashing out against her sister.

Although the latter developments feel somewhat less earned, as Blanca’s fight with her sister feels sudden, forced into the story only to poorly reflect Dani and her mother, her guilt is much more understandable. The rift it creates between her and Dani effectively moves the story along and is one of the first of many parts of Dani that begin to heal, as it leads to a confrontation between the two of them in which Blanca can refute Dani’s view of herself and promises to accompany her as she recovers the “light” she lost.

The relationship between Blanca and Dani is incredibly impactful. Sánchez does a stunning job displaying and justifying both girls’ personalities, and it sells their eventual romance and Dani’s journey of growth and healing. These two aspects of the manga are so intertwined that it feels impossible to separate them. Neither the Yuri nor character aspects work without the other.

Although Sirius is forthright with its characters and stories, it allows for plenty of analysis and contemplation thanks to its reliance on symbolism. Several motifs appear throughout, such as Dani’s phone, symbolizing the potential for mending her psychological wounds, and the sky, which stands for the characters’ passion.

Chief among these symbols is the titular Sirius, two stars linked together by gravity. The manga frequently and blatantly references the binary star in relation to the manga’s main characters. Sirius is easily the least subtle of the symbols, as the girls openly reference each other’s “light” and refer to each other as stars pulled together. However, the presence and prominence of the stars and other symbols help lend further gravity (pardon the pun) to the story's events. The allusion to fated lovers as shining light help legitimize the heightened emotions depicted that would otherwise come off as melodramatic and lend it a more complex, artistic status. It is this very factor that spurred my analysis in the form of this review.

Sirius’s artwork furthers the many excellent aspects of its story. As with the earlier described scene from the introduction, several moments of more stylized and imaginative imagery exist throughout the manga. While none rise to the level of those initial pages, they assist in communicating the character’s dramatic and overwhelming emotions in crucial segments.

Sánchez also employs incredible utilization of contrast in everything from the individual stages to the character designs. Dani has black hair that reflects her inner darkness and is often drawn in shadow, while Blanca is the opposite, incorporating brighter tones and often a sparkling, shining aurora of brightness around her, which helps to illuminate and spread to Dani as she is captivated by Blanca.

Some of the manga’s best scenes incorporate this use of brightness, such as a pivotal discussion between the girls during which they move from shadowed darkness into blinding light that washes out the girls and the scenery around them. It is also effectively employed in Sánchez’s illustrations of the sky, both in the day’s rippling circlets of sunshine and the night’s illustrious blanket of stars.

On the note of character designs, I criticized Alter Ego for making its characters, who are in their early-to-mid twenties, look like teenagers. However, Sánchez’s style is more suited to its teenage subjects in Sirius. And the illustrations depicting adults, including a time skip epilogue at the manga’s conclusion, are much more appropriately proportioned and constructed than in her previous work.

Lastly, I have to praise the manga’s colored illustrations. Sánchez got her start in the traditionally full-color webcomic space, and her proficiency shows. Although Sirius is, like most manga, illustrated mainly in black and white, and as previously mentioned, masterfully employs tone and contrasting shades, the colorful introduction and cover art are astounding. I wish this entire story was rendered similarly; it is just that good.

Despite my love for Sirius' story, characters, and presentation, a few faults stuck out to me. First, a few events feel forced or confounded, particularly in the early story. For example, when Dani first meets Blanca face-to-face, she appears drunk and aggressive. While their fight here, which ends with Dani collapsing and Blanca revealing her authentic tender and concerned nature, progresses naturally to later developments between the two, it feels unnecessary. It results in our first impression of Blanca being wholly negative.

I am inclined to believe the story acknowledges this fault, as it has to scramble to justify and undo this initial encounter, later revealing that Blanca’s “friends” spiked her drink. But, this does little to contribute to Blanca’s character and ensures that the short oneshot has to waste time undoing these actions.

Furthermore, although the romance and Dani’s growth evolve naturally and profoundly, there is little change in Blanca’s character. Although her battle with guilt over Dani is well written, it does not change her character in the long term, and the sudden argument with her sister feels like a last-ditch effort to add stakes to her character via strained logic and events.

If the author had leaned into some aspects of Blanca’s character a little more, her story would feel complete. She establishes that she and her sister are darting between different towns each week of their Summer. This fact provides excellent ground to have her express a reluctance to attachment, a preference for keeping her head among the stars rather than forging lasting bounds to others on Earth, until she meets Dani, of course. The scene with Blanca and her “friends” could even have been twisted to support this, as she barely knows them, and if one of them had injured Dani instead of her, the guilt and shock she feels could lend credence to her caution of others.

Furthermore, a side fling between Blanca’s sister and Dani’s cousin and guardian, Alex, adds exceptionally little to the story. Their presence is little more than an unnecessary distraction. Apart from one of the scattered interactions between Dani and Alex, in which he gives her some love advice, neither character contributes much to the manga.

Lastly, although the lettering is overall fantastic, especially for sound effects, there were several occasions where “multi-bubbles” employed for speech and narrations were separated and vertically misaligned in such a way that it interrupted the flow of reading. I often had to consider what I should read first, thrusting me out of the story.

irius is a beautiful and complex romance. Despite an often obvious storyline and a few too many coincidences, it shines as a bright and dramatic account of love and healing. The more I reread and contemplated the shining manga, the more there was to enjoy and analyze. While I could easily keep this review going for twice its already excessive length as I lovingly examine its many details and gush over its excellent artwork, I want to ensure that readers have something left to discover for themselves when they go read this book, which I highly encourage them to do. So please do yourself a favor and let gravity pull you towards this bright star of Yuri.

Ratings: Story – 9 Characters – 7 Art – 8 LGBTQ – 7 Sexual Content – 2 Final – 8

Check out Sirius: Twin Stars today in English paperback and digital editions: https://amzn.to/3GKEUS2

Reading official releases helps support creators and publishers. YuriMother makes a small affiliate commission from sales to help fund future coverage.

Special thanks to translator Nanette Cooper-McGuiness, editor Lene Atanassova, and the rest of the team at Tokyopop for their work on this manga.

This review is made possible by Avery Riehl and the rest of the YuriMother Patrons. Check it out today to get early access, read exclusive articles, and to support LGBTQ+ anime and manga news and media.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Babies, loss, blood

Another day at my grandparents drew to a close. After Dilek made her way home, N. and I got in a discussion. Not about her, it was about Alex, Daniel's Brother. 😔

Alex wrote me a letter, bcs he couldn’t call me. Daniel was against it! However, Alex mentioned a date in his letter. He wanted to see me! He said/wrote, he will wait for me in front of my and Daniel’s apartment on that particular day. I really wanted to see Alex!! I wanted to know what’s going on with Daniel and why he left me??? But as you can imagine, Nico was against it. Which was totally understandable!! That’s why I tried to talk to Nico about it. N. didn’t forbid me, but he let me know, he was disappointed in me. 🙁😞

He didn’t want to start a fight and just went over to M.’s room, while I cleande up our dishes in the kitchen. Nico asked M., what's wrong with Ana?? Why's she avoiding me?? So my Cuz told him what happend between Ana, Adam, Dennis & me in their dorm a few weeks ago. Yup! "Agh, thanks, bro!" 🤦‍♀️😒Such a moron!

Anyway! Now I'm gonna tell you about the dress I found in my room this afternoon. I thought it was my Mom’s! I really loved that dress! I felt so pretty in it. But my Grama seemed to hate it? I had the impression my Grama didn’t want to tell me exactly what she had against the dress I was wearing? She just said it's hers, not my Mom's!! And well, before I went to bed, I wanted to try to talk to her about this thing again in peace. She just came out of the bathroom. My Grampa was still sitting on the couch in the living room, watching a western movie. 😄He and his bloody, old, western movies. 😆😆Agh, I hated them!

Back to that dress. I entered the bedroom. My grandma was expecting me. She knew I had questions and was ready to talk to me about it.

My Grams was born and raised in Italy. She had three siblings! 2 Sisters and a Brother. When my Grams was 16, she went to Greece with one of her sisters, who's 2 years older than her, to work there. They worked in a hotel. And just a year later, she met my Grampa. My Grams was able to learn some Greek. But together with my Grampa, she learned the language relatively quickly and so they fell in love with each other. After spending over a year in Greece, my Grama decided to marry my Grandpa. He asked her and she was also pregnant. Her parents agreed, as long as my Grams had someone to take care of her. My Grandma's family didn’t have much money. My great-grandmother had lost an arm while working in a factory. That’s why she couldn’t work anymore.

Anyway, my Grandma was happy in Greece with my Grandpa .They lived in my Grampa's house which belonged to his Parents, who also lived there. My Grama and Grampa wanted to save money together to move out, so they both worked a lot. Even though my Grandma was pregnant, she worked 12 hours a day. She wanted to, and she felt good, so she just kept going. But when my Grams was 8 months pregnant, she suddenly got contractions during her shift at the hotel. She had to go to the hospital immediately! Something seemed to be wrong. She was bleeding. At the hospital, my Grandma found out she was having twins!!! She didn't know! No idea how her gynecologist could miss this, but my Grama told me that she was not often at the doctor at that time. She only had an ultrasound once! She didn’t take this so seriously. She was only 18! And her doc just said, she is young and strong, so it's all gonna be fine. However,my Grandma lost a lot of blood during delivery. She almost didn’t survive, she became unconscious, she said. She doesn’t remember what happened? She only knew, she was in a beautiful place, while the Doc's struggled to save her life. Everything felt so peaceful and wonderful. She wanted to stay there. She walked through a green meadow where two small kids suddenly ran towards her. She immediately hugged and kissed them. The three of them had a wonderful time on this beautiful meadow. They laughed, danced and played. My Grams was so happy. She didn’t want to leave this place. But after a while, the two Babies had to say goodbye to her. They told her, she had to go back home. My grandma didn’t want to, she asked, if she could stay there?... The Babies hugged her one last time, telling her not to worry about them. One day, they’ll see each other again, right here.

Then my Grama woke up and found herself in a bed in the hospital. She knew, her Babies didn’t survive 😟😢 ...... She told me, that she was not immediately sad as she woke up. She was rather disappointed, because she had to leave that beautiful meadow. A few days later my grandmother was back home. At home, she realized what had actually happened. She lost her Babies. 😔

And this dress I found, my Grandma loved when she was pregnant. Seeing me in that dress scared her, because I was pregnant too. She didn’t want to tell me, not scare me. And secondly, she knew that when I learned that she had twins, it would only make me more insecure. My pregnancy was unplanned, what if I have twins too?? So yes, it actually worried me.

Me: Was Grandpa nice to you? I mean, was he good to you? 😟

Grams: Yeah, he took care of me. Don’t worry about me, it’s been over 40 years.... In summary, I can say.... yes, your Grampa was a good man. It wasn't allways easy with him. You know how much he loves his beer. But thanks to me, your grandpa is not a drinker! No matter how long he was out at night with his 2 brothers and buddies. Every morning, I kicked him out of bed to go to work. But when it came to you kids, I could always rely on him... I know you’re still sad about Daniel. I heard you and Nico talking, but ask yourself a question, A.! How will it be in a few months? How do you imagine your future, not your present!! Now everything may seem uncertain and you are sad. You miss & love him. And if you weren’t pregnant, I’d advise you to wait and see about your marriage. Fact is, you don’t know why Daniel decided to leave? Maybe he didn’t see another way? Daniel is a calm, introverted guy. I think he kept a lot of things that bothered him to himself. In addition, he has never learned otherwise. He never really had anyone to... take care of him. Now it’s too late what his parents are trying to make up for. He doesn’t trust them, he generally has difficulty opening up. I think that’s why he couldn’t talk to you. I just want you to understand, that it wasn’t your fault. You can't fix in those few months you were with him, what went wrong for him in the past. And now that you’re pregnant, I doubt you and Daniel have a chance anyway. This will make it all the harder for him, to trust you. That's how things are rn. This is your current situation and you have to decide how you want to continue. Of course, I can’t tell you what to expect with Nico. But one thing I think, I can tell you! No man, no matter how much he loves you, will love your child as much as his Dad does. Daniel would probably try, and if he makes an effort, maybe he’ll be a good Dad for your Baby. But it’s Nico’s Baby. I know you had your struggles with him. But I talked to him last night. And in my opinion, you can rely on him. He’ll give you everything and he loves you. But most importantly, Nico doesn’t do drugs, bella. I know you don't wanna hear that, but this one important detail, is actually enough, to make the right decision, for you and your Baby.

Me: Why do you think I didn’t decide? I'm so happy with N. rn. I really want this with us! But..... yes! I'm still very sad about Daniel. I’m afraid to divorce him. I don’t wanna hurt him. I always feel like I’ve done something wrong, Nico and I, it feels like cheating.... You believe in God. Do you think someone wants to punish me for all I’ve done wrong? I don’t want my Baby to pay for my mistakes.

Grams: God does not punish, he forgives! That’s what it’s all about! Forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself, A.! But you did nothing wrong, honey. You were sad, felt abandoned, alone & broken. And Nico was there. You might think, he was there at the right moment. Where would you be now, if Nico hadn’t come back to your life? You can be honest A.! I’m not gonna be mad. I think I know what happend.

Me: I-....I’d probably be high with Dennis somewhere.

Grams: Who's Dennis?

Me: I met him at Ana's dorm.... We did drugs together. I even almost slept with him, even though I only met him a few hours before that. 😢

Grams: Come here.... You'll be fine. I'm gonna take care of you and your Baby. You're not alone... I'm there.

Me: Yea...... thanks... I'm going over to N.

Grams: Don’t tell Nico what you just told me. He doesn't need to know that.... You two have to get along with each other now and not fight. I think N is the guy for you. I'm pretty sure. And don’t forget what I said, think about the future, not the past. Tomorrow morning, I’ll remove all your wedding photos, you do the same thing in your room. That's rude to N. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was only there for you and I’m glad he’s back with you.

Me: So sorry about your Babies. I won't keep that dress. 😭

Grams: Oh, honey. It's ok. Please don’t think about my twins anymore. It's.... all fine. Afte all, just 2 years later, I got my boys and so you, your sister and M. That’s more than I ever dreamed of.

Agh, this was a lot! Sorry. But everything that has now been mentioned in the conversation between my Grama & me, will become a topic soon.

Previous/Next

[hellosweetart]

https://www.tumblr.com/until-another-one-comes/754526981165613056/serial-killer-francis-headcanons-part-6-this-is

https://www.tumblr.com/until-another-one-comes/754681100489588736/additional-serial-killer-francis-headcanons-part-6

More serial killer Francis hcs coming right up!

I loooove your headcannons. Fans can get creative so I had to make drawings based on this ideas.

TW: violence, murder, SA

You know, for the endings of Nacha and Anastacha leaving Francis, I have another idea in my mind. Before he cut off Nacha's feet, a private investigator and group of policemen came in to the scene to stop him. "FREEZE!" And then they caught him for arrest. They had to have six or seven men put him down before they can handcuff him. I like this ending better because no one has to did, suffer or get traumatized from the Mosses family. I'll call this "Asylum" ending, where Mosses ended up in a mental hospital and doctors had to study him for his psychology. He would be staying in a white room, all covered in straight jacket, while being interrogated by the private investigator. At first, he refused to speak, but eventually, he would say, "You took my family away from me...I'll never forgive you for that"

"You would probably kill or hurt them anyway, so why bother?" And then...who knows, maybe Francis will find a way to escape the asylum to see Nacha and Ana. He is...pretty clever after all.

As for the part where he Francis killed himself when he is in his 40s, for me it would be too anti climactic to see him go like that. I prefer him meeting with shady people doing shady business, like Angus or Afton. Angus is presumably part of a mafia gang so killing and disposing a body is old news to him, while Afton is doing some cruel/torturous experiments on people to create a new set of doppelgangers. He might either develop a strange friendship with them, become frienemies of a sort, because they all have the same questionable morals.

Lastly, can you imagine what would be Francis's reaction if Nacha ended up killing someone, to protect themselves from creeps/aggressors? Let's imagine one time, Nacha was about to prepare to go home at mignight when one of her male colleagues from the bakeshop downright sexually harassing her, even during her times of duty as a chef. This comes to the point where its a last straw for her when he made a suggestive comment about Ana; while he is distracted, she took a pan and smashed it to the creep's head and while he is paralyzed, she drowned his face to a bucket of soap water, killing him. This made Nacha forced to carry his body to her car trunk, doesn't know what to do with it. She then cried and confessed to Francis about what happened. I am sure the milkman is finally happy that he isn't alone, in a very twisted dark way.

[meatriarch]

i literally have so many sonny thoughts if you want to hear them. like just shoves this one towards you. i think sonny would be really close with his family and would write letters to them, and occasionally the pen strokes would go mental because of when leland grabbed the pen and just started scribbling (got to love the golden retriever friend), because he was homesick. sonny’s parents found out he was missing because the letters stopped coming and they keep reading the last letter over and over wondering where their boy had gone

NONNIE IM CRYING this is so.... 😭 oh sweet sonny, id absolutely love to hear more about him!! i know the pals would too we love our boy in this corner, i very much welcome for more tidbits if you're comfy and willing to share them with me/us! <3

this is so so bittersweet though like ??? i imagine, bc of maria sending letters back home while shes out on her trips and everything, mama flores & ana had very similar worries etc before they found out police found her car abandoned and empty and i cant imagine what its like for the other friends' families knowing their kids went out to try looking for their friend and, in some cases, never coming home again. never hearing from them again.

and sonny & lelands bond & friendship like 😭😭😭 the kindest pair of boys ever, i know kels has alot of thoughts abt them rotating the brain like a microwave dish and i feel its generally accepted across the board for us that theyre dormmates and incredibly close!

ADDING THIS ONTO HERE RQ SINCE I WAS TYPING AS YOU SENT IT BUT NONNIE HELLO????? 😭😭😭 😭😭😭 MY HEART???

oooooooohhhhhhh..... my heart, maria would have had SO MANY photos taken of lee & sonny together absolutely!!!! my maria has literal albums for each of the friends she's compiled and ohh i know she likely made one for the both of them with all their lil duo photos together :((((( maria would have loved to have met his parents before everything and the fact they didnt get to meet her or lee and see the friends that sonny had made while at uni my hearts breaking i hope they can see how much their boy was loved and adored by them all 😭😭😭

[girljeremystrong]

25 favorite books of mine for @kerrycastellabate ❤️ 

1.       WE RIDE UPON STICKS by quan barry

about a girl’s high school field hockey team from salem, massachussetts which in 1989 is on a mega winning streak. might it be because the team members have pledged themselves to the dark forces in order to get to state? it’s so fun and the characters are all incredible.

2.       WE BEGIN AT THE END by chris whitaker

the plot isn’t easy to summarize but this is a thriller and a very very good one at that. it’s goto ne of the best characters ever: duchess “the outlaw”. there’s a murder and a murderer on the loose and old friends and sweet siblings and it’s truly a great book.

3.       THE INDEX OF SELF DESTRUCTIVE ACTS by christopher beha

this as close to succession as a book can get. Sam is a sport statician, he gets involved with a rich new york city family. this book is amazing, so much happens and all the characters are great.

4.       THE GIRL WITH THE LOUDING VOICE by abi daré

adunni is a fourteen-year-old nigerian girl who knows what she wants: an education. she’s determined to find her voice. incredible story and so sweet and uplifting and beautiful. i have gifted this book time and time again. i love it.

5.       THE ART OF FIELDING by chad harbach

about henry who gets recruited by mike to play baseball at college and they become very good pals while henry becomes better and better and mike understands his life less and less. great team antics great plot great characters not too much baseball.

6.       DOMINICANA by angie cruz

ana is a fifteen year old girl living in the dominican republic who dreams of moving to america. again this is a very sweet and powerful story. ana is an incredible character that i love so much.

7.       I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS by maya angelou

a wonderful memoir about her childhood in a southern town. this is a classic and i love it. It’s joyful and sad and wonderful.

8.       NOTHING TO SEE HERE by kevin wilson

moving and uproarious novel about a woman who finds meaning in her life when she begins caring for two children with remarkable and disturbing abilities (they spontaneously combust when they get agitated). great and fun and very sweet.

9.       CONJURE WOMEN by afia atakora

a sweeping story that brings the world of the south before and after the civil war vividly to life. spanning eras and generations, it tells of the lives of three unforgettable women. “magnificently written, brilliantly researched, richly imagined.”

10.   A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by john irving

eleven-year-old owen meany, playing in a Little League baseball game in gravesend, new hampshire, hits a foul ball and kills his best friend's mother. owen doesn't believe in accidents. wonderful story about friendship and destiny. i love this book.

11.   HOMEGOING by yaa gyasi

this book follows generation after generation of descendants of two half sisters born in different villages in 18th century ghana. they go on to having very different fates and so do their children and their children's children. it’s a modern classic! it’s perfect.

12.   BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by evelyn waugh

tells the story of charles ryder's infatuation with the marchmains and the rapidly-disappearing world of privilege they inhabit. enchanted first by sebastian, then by his doomed catholic family. it’s wonderful and wistful and beautifully written.

13.   BELOVED by toni morrison

sethe was born a slave and escaped, but eighteen years later she is still not free. she has borne the unthinkable and not gone mad, yet she is still held captive by memories of sweet home, the beautiful farm where so many hideous things happened. it’s perfect it won every big award because it’s incredible.

14.   ALL THE KING'S MEN by robert penn warren

tells the story of charismatic populist governor willie stark and his political machinations in the depression-era deep south. i don’t know but i love this book. it’s a classic and it’s written so well and the story is compelling and i keep recommending it.

15.   SALVAGE THE BONES by jesmyn ward

hurricane katrina is building over the gulf of mexico, threatening the coastal town of bois sauvage, mississippi, and esch's father is growing concerned. this all takes place across 12 days before, during and after hurricane katrina and it is a truly amazing book. a must read! a modern classic.

16.   EVERYWHERE YOU DON'T BELONG by gabriel bump

claude, a black boy from the south side of chicago whose parents both left when he was a child, so he was raised by his grandmother and her friend paul. love this book, its characters and the way it’s written, and especially its dialogues.

17.   THE PROPHETS by robert jones jr.

bout the forbidden union between two enslaved young men on a deep south plantation. isaiah was samuel’s and samuel was isaiah’s. very sad and very maddening, but beautiful.

18.   THE FUNNY THING ABOUT NORMAN FOREMAN by julietta henderson

when 12-year-old norman’s best friend jax dies, he decides the only fitting tribute is to perform at the edinburgh fringe festival as a comedian. his mum sadie will do anything to help him. ooh this is so sweet, it’s adorable and so fun and delightful!

19.   INFINITE COUNTRY by patricia engel

elena and mauro are teenagers when they meet, their blooming love an antidote to the mounting brutality of life in bogotá. once their first daughter is born, and facing grim economic prospects, they set their sights on the united states. beautiful story and very well written.

20.   THE SWEETNESS OF WATER by nathan harris

in the waning days of the civil war, brothers prentiss and landry—freed by the emancipation proclamation—seek refuge on the homestead of george walker and his wife, isabelle. the walkers, wracked by the loss of their only son to the war, hire the brothers. so unexpectedy gorgeous.

21.   BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY by quan julie wang

a beautiful memoir about an undocumented childhood. my favorite book of 2022. magnificent, perfect, sweet, sad, joyful. i love it with all myself.

22.   REAL LIFE by brandon taylor

almost everything about wallace is at odds with the midwestern university town. but over the course of a weekend, a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a straight, white classmate, conspire to fracture his defenses. i love this. this author is so good at building up characters.

23.   MILK BLOOD HEAT by dantiel w. monitz

incredible collection of short stories. left me wanting more but at the same time they are perfectly crafted and beautiful.

24.   HOMELAND ELEGIES by ayad akhtar

truly incredible book, one of the best i’ve ever read. part family drama, part social essay, part picaresque adventure — at its heart, it is the story of a father, a son, and the country they both call home.

25.    THE LOVE SONGS OF W.E.B. DU BOIS  by honorée fanonne jeffers

this is the story of ailey and her ancestor’s journey in america through centuries, from the colonial slave trade to our days. we meet ailey when she is a child and watch her grow up, until the moment when, as a college graduate, she embarks on a journey to uncover her family’s past. a wonderful epic story spanning centuries. loved the character of ailey.