#[ mf ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { maria. }

[meatriarchived]

like yeah sure i know in petals they try to tell us that maria's car is just a regular thing but like i argue she uses her mama's old car when she goes on her trips because it simply has more space in the back and on top and she'd made it up all cute inside because of course maria would have, but also simply.

she pops open the trunk and she has a whole lil set-up in there, like a soft mattress-like cushioning on across the bottom with blankets and pillows so she doesnt need to spend money as often at motels for the night, she just finds a nice, hidden lil spot and sleeps out of her car.

gets to climb on the top and either lay down to watch the clouds overhead during the day or the stars at night. stands on top to get better overhead / higher up angles when she's taking photographs around her.

cannot convince me she wouldn't use a cute car that that though rather than the one in petals sorry im simply right-

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but also, how opposites attract bringing danny and maria close.

how theyve both had some rough upbringings - his father being a.busive and driving his mom away, hers abandoning them and mama flores and having to grow up faster in that respect to help raise ana and make sure they got by - how that in turn soured danny and made him rough around the edges, pointed jagged ends, walled and beat his emotions into the dirt in order to protect himself vs maria choosing to turn that hurt into motivation to be there for ana, to be something positive and help her understand that while yes what papa flores did was fucking cruel and heartless, theres still so much to the world to not get hung up over it too much, so much love and peace and beauty and kindness and awe to everything that allowing one person, one bad deed, etc ruin all of it for you doesnt need to happen.

its dannys unending pessimism at life and people and distrust in intention or behavior that isolates him and renders it difficult to make alot of meaningful bonds with people. and its marias unrelenting optimism that says yes people can be bad and yes people can do bad but that doesnt always mean they are ALWAYS bad. its the yes we go through horrible experiences and meet horrible people and alot of times that sticks with us and alters how we react to events or other people, but letting it take such a looming presence in your life can be so detrimental and its allowing them to have such a chokehold and control over you that they dont deserve to have. not all people are always bad, and not all of them are always good, and she believes its more harmful to always have that guard up so firmly rather than allow people the chance to show they arent - like she did with him.

its the difference of how they both viewed the world vs marias impact on him that alters it and vice versa.

how maria looks at the world around her and finds importance, significance, love, peace in so much and how most seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of things but how it is appreciating those little things that in her eyes matter. its sitting in a field watching the petals on the wildflowers dance in the breeze. its lying in the grass and watching clouds lazily float on by. its getting caught in a downpour and running out barefoot to stand in the rain. its stepping out during snowfall and catching the flakes on your tongue. its bonding with your pet and welcoming them up to huddle with you to sleep. the sound of laughter, the smiles of your friends, the love thats shared with slices of oranges and clementines. so much that seems so small unassuming unimportant in the general of life but that she personally believes to be so important to notice, at least every once in a while.

how for him life was always stones being thrown at you, how the smiles on friends faces were normally that of mocking, hate, vitriol. how theres suspicion in someone walking nearby with head ducked and glancing sideways at you. how so called comradery, so called friendship was love with balled fists cracking against jaws or kicking you on the ground and leaving you there without a care, with only laughter and jokes made at your expense. how the only thing danny saw when he would sit beside her looking out at fields was, how nice it'd be to just fucking run off and disappear and never be seen or heard from again. how the red petals of some of the wildflowers look like bloodstains strewn about the meadow rather than something gentle, something soft.

how sitting there listening to her, time and time and time again, slowly altered those views and made him start to see things a little differently. how yeah to him the flowers are still flowers and rain or snow are still just that - but its the moment being lived in, experienced, that changes how you view it. how flowers in the breeze reminds him of her perfumes or lotion. how snow reminds him of those snowball fights rather than standing alone at parks watching families have fun together during the holidays.

its small things, that she helped him seeing, that makes him slowly change over the years. that makes it easier to connect with others, bond with new faces that he otherwise never would have bothered even saying a simple hello to. like maria is, truly, such a vital person in his life and losing her really is just fucking devastating to him.

[meatriarchived]

i think its rather interesting that within the different cc & nosy au routes, maria's eventual corruption into one of the same with the family is very much harbored and nurtured and encouraged by the treatment given onto her by johnny - how he gives her a window to allow herself to express hate without restriction, violence without judgement - without fear of someone thinking ill of her, without the fear in the back of mind of what those she cares for would think of her because at that point, do their opinions even matter anymore when they left her there? when they abandoned the search in cc, and when they seemingly didnt even try to search for lee in nosy?

all of it being encouraged directly by johnny.

and then in her wilted au, when they've managed to get out, return home - but returning to a 'regular life' is so overwhelming, and you feel like you should be happy to be alive, happy that you all made it out, and yet? somethings' festering in you and you simply cannot for the life of you understand WHY you arent happy?

the outlet provided in cc/nosy simply isnt there - and those negative and violent emotions have no where else to go except to be constantly shoved deeper into gut. and so you self-isolate in hopes that it keeps those you care about safe, because you're unsure of what those feelings may turn into and its terrifying to think about.

and then, years later, you find yourself sitting across from one of them - and they tell you they want to go back.

and its like furnace has been set alight deep inside, and all that rage and hate and violent urges you spent so long trying to suppress finally starts to bubble and boil again.

maria may not have spent remotely as much time being affected by johnny / nancy in wilted as she does in cc/nosy, but the idea that it was enough to harbor those feelings for nearly two decades after to want to go back is... sad.

truly is haunted by them.

[meatriarchived]

you know, pre-house, start-ish of her time at uni, as open and as friendly and social etc that maria's always been? i definitely feel she struggled in alot of ways to feel comfortable being away from home.

the constant worry about being away from mama flores when he health isn't good, leaving that responsibility more into the hands of extended nearby family and ana. knowing if something went wrong it'd take a while to hurry back home, and the stress and anxiety thoughts along those lines bring up ( esp considering, no cells, so she'd be in the dark the whole way there ). there was alot of guilt she held onto, for not being home, passing that responsibility elsewhere instead of 'being a good, oldest daughter' and being home to handle things herself.

ana ended up doing alot of maria's applications for uni with their uncles and aunts because, simply, maria hadn't felt like she should go and kept putting things off - and ana, even just being closer to what, a freshman or being in 9th grade at the time, had already watched maria give up the last few years since ramon took off stepping in basically in his shoes and trying to make sure everything got done, bills got paid, mama flores got to her appointments, ana was keeping on top of her schoolwork and everything, getting her back and forth where she had to be. ana saw how much of herself she was spreading thin, how much she took on. how little she was able to keep up with her long-term childhood-thru-hs friends. ana knew maria needed to do something for herself for once - and letting her go off to uni was one of those things.

and those first some weeks, months there, maria was very much homesick. she cried alot, she missed her baby sister, she missed her mama. she missed her old friendgroup. but after graduation they all went their separate ways, left the state, lost touch. and again, while maria is very much a social butterfly, very much a gentle and friendly presence, i do feel at the start there was alot of hesitation reaching out to classmates, etc for anything not class-related. she had her roommates at the time, sure, but only really saw them at the end of the day, if that.

so when i say that when she met julie things drastically changed? i really do mean that.

julie i feel really did help her branch back out, from just being her even more social butterfly self. introduced her to different types of people, scenarios, experiences. most of her very first uni parties was what julie had dragged her to - maria was never much of a partying girl, really, but she had alot of fun sticking with julie and meeting the different people she was friendly with. julie brought out her confidence again.

and so when julie then dragged our lil hissy cat ( future bestie ) connie into the lil beginning of the friendgroup? maria was so excited to meet her. but also saw that she was more in her shell, too, so toned down the bubbliness, tried to pay closer attention to what she was comfortable with, really truly wanted to be connie's friend but also didn't want to spook her being too overly-friendly or overly-sweet and affectionate.

but once connie warmed up enough to her? her and julie were maria's ride-or-die girlies. the original besties + danny bestie. and maria was so very happy having found herself another lil friendgroup, with people she can say she very genuinely loves, adores, cares for, is devoted to, and frankly each addition being so unique and lovely that in her eyes, they truly are the greatest bunch of friends she's ever had.

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mm. you know. likely another part of magdalena cropping up as an alias was likely due to the reunion maria has with donnie.

she faltered. she let him go. it could've ended bad - for not just herself had donnie not tried so hard not to hurt her but also, the possibility of him saying anything, doing anything, to bite not just her but the family in the ass was...high. just luck that he never did.

and it was a sour lesson learned. if anything, it made her even less sensitive to future victims. she didn't want to fuck up again, risk losing the new bonds she gained in the time between her being taken up to her and donnie crossing paths.

vague hand gestures, something something re-meeting donnie and that entire day and experience snapped something in her and only made her more loyal and devoted to johnny if anything-

[meatriarchived]

all the aliases / personas start at maria, and they end at magdalena.

with dolores / aurelia it comes on like a switch, as more self-preservation if her targets suddenly become more aggressive with her - and she's alone with them at that moment.

for rosa, it comes on when she goes for targets on her own, to someplace secluded and without others eyes or ears, where she's already got them vulnerable and can toy around with them.

[meatriarchived]

i mistakenly laid down and am eepy again but on the same vein as raes / kels post re: leland teaching the friends some self-defense,

the way i know that for sure, danny pre-house probably - moreso lightheartedly - taught ana how to throw a punch properly. and i feel while the friends were doing their own searches around for maria, can definitely see ana asking lee to teach her a couple things here and there. esp with how off-putting alot of locals seemed to be with them snooping around town.

but then with maria, i know in nosy lee definitely does actually teach her considering what they do, considering alot of the time her targets are both men or just people in general who have size and strength over her capabilities to begin with. so needed to learn some things to better keep herself safe, y'know? esp in the moments where either shes alone with the target or him & johnny are at a distance. ( and also learned from johnny, get a feel of a different type of fight style in a sense ).

but then also thinking about pre-house maria. and how much the guys in general likely did want to teach her at least some things to defend herself when she'd go out alone for her trips. and she was always gently insistent that she'd never need to do so - because truly why would anyone attack her?

and i know danny for sure feels a hell of a lot of guilt and regret for not pushing for her to let them.

[meatriarchived]

thinking very big on maria's aliases at the moment so,

dolores.

maria's more subdued, soft, docile persona. one of her primary lures. dolores acts as a way to entice targets who are looking for someone they think is easy to control or influence. submissive and eager to go along with whatever they want really, dolores as a persona is maria's way of gauging and pulling very strong, very cocky, very frankly stupid victims into going someplace secluded with her - and into the hunting grounds of her two scary guard dogs to have fun with. she's the persona, alongside aurelia, that brings victims into back alleys, back to a designated place on the sawyer-hewitt property, to decoy houses / buildings, or to specific fields or stops where its been established earlier in the night with johnny ( & lee ) that she will get them to, for them to meet there. dolores is that sweet, softer, doe-eyed side of maria really being coaxed out in order to quite literally throw someone to the wolves. dolores is symbolized by lambs / sheep, also to come across in a softer light to those who interact with her and fall victim, for other unassuming creature to take you by the hand, frolicking out into open field, unknowingly being circled by predators hidden in the grass around them. nickname : dolly.

aurelia.

more of a push into maria's more bubbly self, aurelia's more of that out-there, perky, sunshine-incarnate type persona that draws people attention. she's all smiles, all touchy, PDA at max. she's also that more kinda ditzy personality, too, if she feels her target likes it. she'll play heavily into the 'oh please keep talking i am SO interested in what youre saying!! omg no really you do all that??? wow you're so strong / so smart / etc' type of person, showering with compliments. definitely more of the persona for those kinds of people who LOVE talking about themselves and making themselves seem more important / tougher / etc than they really are. aurelia works as another lure because she's the type that'll convince targets to drink and drink and drink, or pull them off to dance with her, let them get handsy, let them think they have a shot. aurelia is symbolized by rabbits / bunnies, cute and sweet little prey animal, unassuming. one that lets you give chase, until you find yourself inches from wolves' widened jaws. nickname : lia.

rosa.

not as much of a lure than more utilized when maria's working alone, but rosa works to get targets alone and vulnerable. she's flirty, handsy, siren eyed rather than doe. truly come fuck me eyes. its the persona to let her explore things on a more sexual note, but its also the one where after things are said and done and theres a body on the floor, she wants to reaffirm her devotion to the scary dog(s) more - like a very, get this fuckers' scent off of me right now and put yours all over me instead kinda thing, if you will. but its also very much, i get to toy around with them a little more, be teasing, be mean. very hey heres your body let me snap a picture with you gh.ostface style ♡ its more of her violent side that comes out, because its really one of the personas where she gets to really disarm people - from being flirtatious to im stabbing you to im sinking my teeth in your neck and ripping at you rather than it being a simple love bite. still uses rosa, though regardless if working alone or with the scary dog(s). rosa's symbolized by both butterflies & moths, metamorphosis from maria into territory she was never all that comfortable in before. its exploration of a different side - both sexual and violent. its the specific kinds, of mourning cloak butterfly, of death's-head hawkmoths, of black witch moths, with meanings of change, of rebirths, and of death or misfortune. nickname : typical pet names one gives a one-night-stand.

magdalena.

in a sense, magdalena's come to be a persona by several factors, and its more of her long game, lone wolf type. its a combination of something in her snapping from her reunion with donnie ( being told 'i love you' when you were left for dead, buried and otherwise forgotten about is mm, esp when compared to the love that had been shown in the years since. ) and its more of maria taking influence from not only johnny by also nancy, in routes where she ( & lee ) are accepted by her into the family. its getting a lil more personal with her targets, earning their trust over a longer timeframe. befriending them even. its more of her wolf coming out - where one one side, magdalena comes across as a typical neighbor, someone who bakes you things and brings it over unprompted ( sometimes we get silly and slow-poison them c: ) esp during rough times - similar to how nancy works. its the slowburn of growing closer to them, earning trust, being let into their lives, just to one day down the line rip that security out from under them, turn their homes into a bloodbath really. magdalena's more of that, mercy doesnt exist in this body, morality doesnt exist, theres an anger and a hatred and a coldness to the world thats been dormant in these bones like the old gods who sleep for millennia hidden among us like mountain ranges. while physically maria isn't nearly on the same levels as johnny or leland, i'd argue magdalena's by far her more brutal and unhinged persona in that she'll not only make an absolute mess out of her target, but will also prolong things at times - make it last hours, if she can manage, if they stay alive long enough. magdalena is also moreso in swing post-acceptance by nancy, meaning the likelihood that she's been taught how to use the same types of ability, the possession, the hallucinations, is very high. magdalena's symbolized by wolf peering out from under sheepskin. nicknames : lena.

[meatriarchived]

im totally normal-

but also, me an hour ago: yeah yknow the next alias is very like cute sweet housewife / friendly neighbor / church-goer-vibes who bakes you cute breads and cakes and shit and greets you and chats when you bump into her, coos and dotes over your kids, etc etc steals your husbands / wives without really trying to

me now: well all of this is Very True but also its probably the alias & persona most influenced by Spooky Mother in addition to johnny and theres some warped unhinged religious demonic worship and sacrificial undertones now in the mix and is probably marias most polarized persona at being sweet to victims faces and absolutely fucking unhinged when she's got them alone actually ripping into and di.semboweling them while they're still vaguely conscious and aware of whats happening but also shes likely learned some tricks from nancy at this point and they are are being induced by the maria-branded Horrors now :) magdalena's that sudden switch in her - where you can be looking right at maria beaming so softly at you - and then a blink - and shes just.... different and unnerving

[meatriarchived]

maria's cc/nosy aliases each embodying slightly different personas but also mirroring her own name is very cute cause its like:

maria : beloved/bitter / dolores : heartache/sorrow ( doe-eyed, quieter & shy, soft-spoken ) aurora : dawn / aurelia : the golden one ( bright, warm, friendly, extroverted ) flores : flowers / rosa : rose ( sensual, flirty, over-affectionate, 'fuck me' eyes )

[meatriarchived]

vaguely hand gestures thru tears

listen all imma say is that theres a plane of existence between life & death - not a verse, not an au, just a Thing that Exists - that's got marias soul tethered to it always due to red string of fate + the repercussions of her broken oaths centuries prior.

where after every death, her soul waits there - mainly for johnny, as their souls are connected by that thread; but also, for the loved ones she's made along the way. because they may change every lifetime.

but, its a brief plane of existence, where her soul waits for every single closure she wishes to address before she must leave again to restart the cycle of rebirth, restart that tethered fate all over - elsewhere, dire or soft, with faces new or old, same or different. that is her punishment for her broken oaths.

but, whenever her time comes, she waits in that plane for each of those she loved in life to briefly meet her there. for them to speak, to have closure.

and it changes with each person - a meadow that appears a little differently: for johnny its red spider lillies & red poppies. leland its marigolds & jonquils. connie its daffodils & sweet peas. ana its lillies & dandelions. and so on.

every lifetime, maria has no recollection of what happened before. but something thats been the same in every single one?

how deeply she loves each and every person she comes to know and care for. to instead of simply moving on, getting things over with, she waits there - alone, for who truly knows how long - for each one of them to pass through. so they can have a moment of peace, ideally, before going on to their own next step.

[meatriarchived]

the thing about maria in her dire au's is at the beginning, at the start of her being taken in those initial weeks, its all the attempts she made - completely in vain, completely orchestrated and carefully planned / observed by johnny the entire time - take such an exhausting and debilitating toll on her.

its a constant beatdown mentally and emotionally that no matter what she uses, no matter what turns she makes, no matter how thoroughly or well thought-out she tries to plan, no matter what routes, what mindgames, what anything it seems that she tries?

she's always followed. always in view. always in vain. always failing.

by the time lee's brought down in nosy its just...

she's already so jaded, so bitter, so tired, but he isn't yet and so he's so determined, so hopeful still - like she was, all those weeks before - and she doesn't want to trample on it, and that small flickering hope still in her is thinking okay if its both of us, if its both our heads trying to work things out, both sets of hands and feet to get what we need, get to where we have to go, then yes, we can do this, we can make it-

but its still the same end. time. and time. and time, again.

over. and over. and over.

she's already been through so many attempts to get out. and then the next full batch of lee racking his brain trying to think of other ways, other methods, other routes to chance from how she did it the first time(s) and its still not enough.

it just breaks her.

she doesnt understand why they keep failing. how johnny's always steps ahead. she wishes she was strong like danny or lee or donnie, resourceful like connie or danny. brave like her little sister and julie, smart like sonny - but she isn't. not in her eyes. she feels so useless and inadequate and lost at it all. she hates that he's stuck down there with her, when he should've also been out, free, with the rest of them.

[meatriarchived]

also i find it really cute that in shack, there's lil sproutlings in pots and then the lil bird figures. cause it reminds me of the hc's that when johnny teaches maria how to make things from clay, she makes a lil vase to put flowers on the table into, and when he teaches her how to carve things out of wood she make little bird figures c;

and then also just.... these two pot holders being both the cleanest, newest things in there?? and being both red & with flowers? im sorry you cannot convince me those arent maria's that luda likely gave / made for her like theres no way-

[meatriarchived]

i did not sleep yay for me im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

[meatriarchived]

thinking about danny's career post-house and how in the scenarios where thomas has done a fuckin' number on him and it causes his more Dire injuries, all that work in his trade school nearly falls completely to shit.

repeated blunt force trauma to the head? likely causes long-term, chronic issues, may even prevent him from welding in deep water like he'd been training to do due to the water pressure on his skull? he'd probably have to be restricted to working at shipyards for any welding?

but then tack on the added layer of okay, where thomas struck on his head, is it a scenario where it cracked his brow bone open, hit his eye? caused him to likely have to get it removed post-house depending on how severe the damage to it / the socket / etc ended up? how it could affect him even getting hired in the first place if he's partly blind due to it?

like. all that work potentially for nothing? trying to return to normalcy post-house and he struggles to get into the line of work he'd spent all that time learning and honing? making work connections who then grow silent on him?

and then tack on all the post-house trauma.

how if they all made it out, alive, yes he's relieved and yes he's happy they all made it, that they found maria and got her home, but its all their collective and different ways of coping? his to shut down, grow quiet, reclusive. theres still so much rage and hate he's scared of lashing out on them. ana who throws on a brave face even then, shoves it all down, and moves on, but develops the habit of checking in constantly on where maria is, anxious when she doesnt hear from her immediately. and then maria, who depending on if things run thru wilted or shine post-house routes, if she stays in texas, after getting caught packing her place up, danny constantly checks in on her, scared of her trying to take off again like that, scared to return to the coast in fear of getting another call like the one he did about her being missing.

how if she does still take off to the pnw without a word to any of them, danny literally tries to hunt her down. takes off driving to all kinds of places he thinks she'd go - how he looks for places warm and sunny, beautiful and bright - thinking its obvious she'd go there instead of some consistently overcast, gloomy state.

how in the case that the rest of them get out but they know shes dead, hes always on the cusp of either breaking shit around him or crumbling into a heap of sobs on the ground. the guilt he feels not being there sooner, the guilt at what she must have gone through alone there, terrified the entire time she was kept alive. how following the little (likely empty-casket) funeral the flores' held for her, he couldnt stand going back there. because that isnt maria - that isnt his friend, there in some box surrounded by dirt, the one likely still decaying in that fucking basement like some kind of hunt trophy.

my guy is just. so lost post-house. feels like he failed maria, failed ana. failed mrs. flores. failed leland and connie, failed julie and sonny, failed donnie. failed all of them.

[meatriarchived]

so i added maria to test her out and its been a couple days with her. and i was planning to give her some more time to feel her out, esp since i dont own the game so theres info and dynamics that im sure show in-game that i definitely am missing even with watching stream gameplay. its a bit tough writing someone whose yknow. dead already. :') so i dunno. mm.

.

she's stayin'. :)

i'm enjoying her too much. she's gonna be set as a primary muse.

maria's tag dump below

but seriously, i wanna know more about her. her dynamics and bonds with her friends. who of the group was she arguably closest to? i have thoughts that she already knew julie before anyone else, and then met sonny and the others followed suit but.

( also, unless its noted anyplace in canon, my maria loves / will fall for just about anyone c: she's pan. if you're sweet / caring / let her ramble in the middle of museums and art galleries then you've won her over already sdfjkg but seriously, she just finds everyone very pretty )

i wanna know what else she liked to do; i know she was a big hike and camper girl. she just loved being outdoors and being in fresh air and just living in the moment. between her classes and any work she did, she just enjoyed having the freedom and peace to do as she wanted. it made her feel invulnerable in a sense, made her a bit careless. she dropped her guard so easily, trusted too easy.

i just wanna know more about her :( gimmie

i wanna know about how she was with everyone both all together and separately. cause i know her demeanor changed slightly depending on who she was alone with. ana for sure saw more of her low-energy, anxiety-ridden self, waking up by sleep paralysis, things like that.

just. AHHHHHH.

but also just wanted to say that these last couple days have been so much fun. i really do enjoy seeing all the gushing over this group in your guys' posts and i love reading your threads and ask responses, you're all so fantastic with their emotions its gut-wrenching and sinister and so much fun interacting with c;

i wasn't really sure about coming back from my hiatus, esp with how long it was. but im really glad i did. just wanted to say a lil thank you and let you guys know i just love your writing and im loving all the interactions so far :')