#like frosty the fucking snowman

[cantsayidont]

Teevee shows:

BLACK DOVES (2024): Keira Knightley attempts unsuccessfully to renew her action star credentials with this violent, very uneven Netflix miniseries from Joe Barton (creator of THE LAZARUS PROJECT). Knightley stars as 40-ish deep-cover spy Helen Webb, whose two little children and dull husband Wallace (Andrew Buchan), an up-and-coming Tory MP, have no idea of her real past, her real occupation (spying on Wallace for a shadowy espionage organization), or the fact that she's been having an affair with a man called Jason (Andrew Koji of WARRIOR, wasted), who's just been murdered. Ben Whishaw (looking like he's been scraped out of a lint trap) costars as Helen's friend Sam, a sardonic gay hitman who is supposed to be watching her back while coping with problems of his own. Set at Christmastime, BLACK DOVES has a weird streak of holiday sentimentality that sits uneasily with Barton's dry black humor (which is sometimes fun) and mean-spirited ghoulishness (which is not). Worse, Barton leaves Knightley flailing in a badly underwritten part that's completely overshadowed by both Sam and the supporting cast — there's never any reason to care about either of Helen's lives, and the script seems reluctant to take her motivations (protect her children, avenge her dead boyfriend) at all seriously. Unlike THE LAZARUS PROJECT, the more interesting character threads also feel divorced from the murky plot, which is convoluted and far-fetched, but short on imagination and never very interesting. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Several, with snotty assassins Williams (Ella Lily Hyland) and Eleanor (Gabrielle Creevy) the show's principal bright spots. VERDICT: Not so much "Ho Ho Ho" as "Oh ho hum," and I was dismayed by how disinterested it is in its ostensible lead. If you want "married mom is secretly a badass spy," try WHO IS ERIN CARTER, which is less gay, but more fun.

HELSTROM (2020): Muddled, dreary Hulu horror-drama based on D-list Marvel Comics characters Satana and Damian Hellstrom, Son of Satan, here known strictly as Daimon (Tom Austen) and Ana Helstrom (Sydney Lemmon). In the show, the adult siblings' now-institutionalized mother Victoria (Elizabeth Marvel) is possessed and their father is/was a demonic serial killer, so Daimon and Ana both have powers; Daimon, a college professor in Portland, has a sideline as a demon hunter and exorcist, while mean lesbian Ana is a trader in rare artifacts with a hobby of supernaturally assassinating rich assholes. A late holdover from the era before Marvel Studios TV projects became completely Mouseified, HELSTROM doesn't have the clammy deracinated theme-park blandness of the Disney+ shows, but it's still a wearisome slog. Daimon is boring, and I loathed his self-righteous noviate sidekick Gabriella (Ariana Guerra), but Ana's dead-eyed bitchiness, killer outfits, and silly haircut are kind of fun, at least in the early episodes. It might have worked better with an X-FILES/KOLCHAK-style monster-of-the-week format, but it fails to generate the atmosphere needed for a PG-13/TV-MA horror story, and the indecipherable plot bogs down in reactionary "redemptive power of family" horseshit. CONTAINS LESBIANS? The sole reason for watching, but while the show tells us that Ana is an inveterate womanizer, we never once see her kiss a girl! VERDICT: Ana Helstrom is great, but everything else is tedious and unappetizing. CWs apply for quasi-incest themes, medical torture, parental abuse, and an icky supernatural forced-pregnancy plot.

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (2022– ): Agreeable but very ordinary legal drama, based on the Michael Connelly novels, about L.A. defense attorney Mickey Haller (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), trying to get back in the game after a stint in rehab and unexpectedly inheriting the clients of a colleague who's just been murdered. Becki Newton and Neve Campbell costar as Mickey's ex-wives, with Jazz Raycole as his client-turned driver Izzy, who chauffeurs Mickey around in a Lincoln SUV and acts as his sounding board, and occasional guest appearances by Elliott Gould. Created by David E. Kelley and Ted Humphrey, this is an utterly conventional lawyer show, with the usual contrivances and limitations (like recurring bouts of smug whorephobia), and even at his lowest moments, Mickey is much too affluent to really sell the "feisty underdog" shtick. Nonetheless, it's a well-polished formula, buoyed by Garcia-Rulfo's likeable lead performance, and it works better than the disappointing 2011 movie with Matthew McConaughey, although I wish that the show would allow more time for Mickey's smaller cases, which are more satisfying than the big case plots. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Izzy is gay, but it only comes up once or twice a season. VERDICT: Nothing special, but it goes down easily.

[pro-crastinate17]

i feel like everyone brushes over how frosty the snowman just BLATANTLY teaches children unsafe traffic practices. like?? "he only paused a moment when he heard him holler stop" okay and did he look both ways??? i think the fuck not! he lead those kids straight into fucking traffic!! "thumpity thump thump" yea thats the sound itll make when all those kids who followed him get hit by fucking cars!! jaywalking is not suddenly safe just because your magical snowman friend did it first jesus christ

[baileyboo2016]

i’m gonna get flamed for this but i just realized you guys have never been around to see me for the holiday season and tbh i kinda hate it

[buck-starss]

Hiii syd!! Can we pretty please get snowy cabin sauna fuck.. pretty please?

Warming up | L.H

>> You and Logan get caught in a snowstorm but when you reach the cabin you rent. Luckily, he has the perfect idea to warm you up. <<

Pairing: Boyfriend!Logan Howlett x Girlfriend!Reader

Wordcount: 4.213 Words

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, established relationship, snowstorm, smut [teasing, edging, fingering (fem!rec), oral (fem!rec), unprotected p in v, creampie, cock warming, praises, naked woman/dressed man], petnames [bub, princess], lots of kisses

Authors Note: Thank you for the request, wasn’t sure which character you want so you get Logan for this one. I hope you enjoy. Divider made by me.

Events: Sweet & Spicy Bingo: Winter Edition [Row One-Three | Fucking for warmth], Fandom Free Bingo: Frosty Edition [O4 | Pinned down]

Masterlist | Logan Howlett Masterlist

The snow falls heavily down on the two of you. Being stuck somewhere in the mountains during a snowstorm isn't exactly what you planned for the holidays. Especially not with your car breaking down so that you and Logan are forced to walk the whole way up the mountain to come to your cabin. Luckily you managed to walk most of the way before the snowstorm got worse, but on the other side you feel like a snowman since the last five minutes where you feel the amount of snow crashing down on you.

Logan walks next to you, his hand holding yours tightly to make sure you won't get lost in the storm. You can't even see your hand in front of you, so you cling to his hand as tightly as you can. Your boyfriend turns his head after a moment, looking you up and down before he laughs low in his throat. You turn your head as best as you can with the hood covering your head. You can feel the snow falling down from your hood and shoulders, realizing that you probably looked like a mini snowman.

“Noticed it ya'self, didn't ya?” He chuckles, shaking his head to throw the snow off him as well. Half of the coldness flies into your face, and you growl, wiping the snow out of your face with your free hand before pushing Logan slightly. The soft push catches him off guard, and before he can stop himself, he stumbles over his own feet and falls down in the thick snow. Unfortunately, he holds your hand still, so within a second you land in the snow, or more on top of him, and press your boyfriend further into the snow underneath him. “Ya havin’ fun, bub?”

You smile at him, knowing he's only joking. As much as he tries to hide the smirk on his face, the little curl up of his lips shows you exactly that he's about to laugh about that little accident. You place your gloved hands on both sides of his shoulders in the snow, trying to push yourself up, but the snow sinks down underneath your hands, and you fall down on your boyfriend again.

Logan can't help but laugh, his rough laugh echoing through the almost quiet forest you're in. “Stop laughing,” you growl, trying to push yourself up once more but end up falling down on him again. The cold that was almost forgotten for a moment while you joked around is now feelable again, and you shiver. Your clothes are wet and snowy, and the cold seeps through the fabric of your clothes. “Fuck, it's freezing.”

“Genius, bub, we're laying the snow in the middle of a snowstorm. If ya were warm, I wouldn't be sure if ya're a human or a mutant, maybe even a Yeti,” Logan keeps joking while he rolls the two of you around. He keeps his big hands steadily on your back when he towers above you. With a grin he looks down at you, shushing you with a peck to your lips as you open your mouth to comment on the current situation.

Logan somehow manages to push himself up without sinking back into the snow. Which is pretty surprising because he’s heavy with his adamantium bones. But unlike you, he can balance his weight on enough points that he gets up and pulls you with him. With a pout, you turn to the snow, pointing at it.

“Traitor, you think I don't know that my boyfriend is like— as heavy as a car? But he gets up like he's as light as a feather, and I sink back into the fucking snow,” you mumble, glaring at the snow like it could do anything for it. Logan stands behind you, his hand tightly wrapped around your waist while he pulls you closer against his broad chest. His low chuckles against your ear send shivers through your body, and you lean more into him, realizing he's pretty warm for the fact that you're walking to a snowstorm. You lean your head against his shoulder, looking at him. Logan's green eyes are soft and focused on you as he watches you intensely. “Why are you so warm?”

Logan narrows his eyes, tilting his head. “Because of my mutation? I'm always pretty warm, but ya know about that. Or why would you use me as ya heating pillow all the time, bub?”

“But we are in the snow, and you feel like a heater,” you whine, leaning further into him. Logan chuckles, keeping you close to him. Even though the longer you're standing there, he feels the cold slowly seeping through his body, knowing you’re freezing a whole lot more already.

“How about we get us both to the cabin, or else we will turn into snowmen out here,” Logan mumbles softly into your ear, his lips trailing down your neck before he pushes you softly away from him so he can take your hand again. You feel the cold surrounding you the moment Logan is pushing you away; a quiet whine works its way up your throat. “Come on, bub. I know it's cold, but we can't keep standing around here in the cold.”

You nod, shaking a bit of the snow off of you even though the snowstorm gets heavier, and you’re covered in it once again after just a few steps. Logan keeps his gaze on you most of the time unless he looks for the cabin. To your surprise, it's only a walk of around ten more minutes up the mountain before you finally see the outline of a little wooden cabin.

Logan and you walk further up the mountain until you finally reach the cabin. He opens the door, letting you in, and you're ready to feel the warmth surrounding you, but the feeling never comes, and you narrow your eyes as you step into the cold cabin. It's not as cold as outside, but it isn't quite warm either.

“Take off ya clothes,” Logan says as he closes the door and places the bags to the side. You turn to your boyfriend, who is working to get the fireplace working. He doesn't need to turn and look at you to know you're looking at him with a confused and unbelieving expression. “Jus’ do as ya told, bub.”

While you mumble under your breath why you should take off your clothes and freeze even more, you do it anyway. It would make more sense to take a warm shower or change clothes, but maybe Logan has something in mind that will warm up too. You strip out of your clothes, the cold surrounding you feeling like it's burning your skin already.

“Lo, it's fucking cold,” you mumble, standing in your underwear in the middle of the room. Logan gets up from where he was kneeling in front of the fireplace, turning around to see your shivering frame in front of the couch. “Can I take a shower now or at least change into something because it's not cool to stand here half naked.”

“Said take ‘em off, bub,” he grumbles, taking a step closer to you. Your eyes narrow even further, and you wrap your arms tightly around yourself, wondering what he has in mind. Your underwear is dry; there is no need to take them off when they aren't wet. He takes a step closer, his green eyes darker than usual, and you notice the lust in them. Logan smirks at you, stripping out of his clothes as well. “Skin to skin is supposed to be the best way to warm up; the water is cold right now, and clothes don't do the same.”

You roll your eyes playfully, watching him leave a trail of his clothes on the floor before he reaches you. Logan brings his calloused hands to your waist, pulling you against his chest. You immediately sigh as the warmth of him spreads through your body as well, warming you up slightly. “You’re literally a heating pillow.”

Logan chuckles, walking you backwards until your legs are pressed against the couch and you fall down on it. He towers over you, his hands sliding upwards to your shoulders before he pushes you with your back against the backrest and gets slowly down on his knees. Logan uses his hands to spread your legs so he can kneel in between them, his broad shoulders holding them apart. “Wanted ya to save ya panties, it's a cute pair, but ya didn't want to take it off, so I'm gonna do it.”

Logan slides his big hands up and down your thighs, kneading the soft flesh in his hands. His green eyes are focused on your face while his thick fingers slide with every movement closer to your covered cunt. A smirk creeps onto his lips, and within a second he brings his hands to your panties and rips them apart. The cool air is blowing against your wetness, causing a shiver once more.

“Now, spread ‘em for me,” Logan grumbles, pushing your legs apart while he pulls you closer to the edge of the couch. He lowers his head to your left knee, kissing his way up to your cunt before he kisses your right leg along back to your other knee. You wiggle in his strong grip, trying to push your cunt closer to his face, but he keeps you in place to kiss his way along your thighs once more.

“Lo, please, it's cold,” you whine even though the heat between the two of you is way stronger than the cold you feel. You bring your hands to his short hair, running your fingers through his kitty ears. Logan keeps his head away from your pussy, smirking while he keeps kneading and kissing your thighs. “Lo, please, don't tease me.”

“Need to tease ya a bit longer ‘til the sauna is all warm and ready for us,” Logan mumbles, pushing your legs further apart. You wonder when he turned on the sauna to heat up, but the thought fades out of your mind when Logan's nose suddenly presses against your folds. You moan softly, pulling him even closer by his hair. Logan groans, pushing back and looking up to look you deep in the eyes. “Do ya want me to come in my pants like a teenager. Ya can't pull my hair like that and not expect me not to come.”

You giggle softly, pulling his hair once more. Logan groans, diving his head back between your legs. His lips trail along your wet folds, his tongue circling your clit while he sucks softly at your bundle of nerves. You gasp, gripping tighter in his hair while you throw your head back, pushing your hips further toward Logan.

He smirks against your pussy, kissing further down to your entrance. While he keeps kneading one of your thighs with his hand, he brings the other to your entrance, dipping the tip of his thick fingers into you. “Ya so fuckin’ wet, bub. Could slip into ya without preparing ya.”

It wouldn't be the first time he fucks you without foreplay, but he’s a man on a mission right now. And his mission is to warm you up before you continue your little game in the sauna.

Logan looks up, his lips still wrapped around your clit while he pushes two of his fingers into you. A smirk spreads onto his lips when he sees the way you arch your back and your eyes flutter close. Your boyfriend spreads his fingers inside of you, curling them until he hits the spot he's looking for. Your mouth falls open, and your grip in his hair is almost painfully tight when he presses his digits against the spongy spot in your pussy.

“Fuck, Logan, please,” you moan, thrusting your hips against him to get more friction. His green orbs stay on your face while he keeps a slow but steady pace of his fingers thrusting into you. His tongue swirls around your clit every now and then, making you go crazy. Unfortunately, Logan knows your body better than everyone else, which can be good in certain moments but not when he’s about to edge you and make you beg.

His fingers speed up slowly, but he leans his head back, looking you deep in the eyes while you feel the cool air surrounding your wet clit, causing you to shiver. Your legs tremble on both sides of him, pressing against his broad shoulders. “Say please, bub. And maybe I will give ya what you want.”

“Please,” you whine, wanting to kiss the knowing grin on his face away. It's that grin he always has before he teases you even further, like you didn't just do what he wanted. “Logan, please.”

“Please what, bub? You need to tell me whatcha want, or else I can’t know, can I?” He asks in an innocent tone, grinning even wider when you let one of your hands slide out of your hands. You bring your hand to your stomach, sliding it further down to rub your clit. But Logan is faster, chuckling when he takes your hand and pins it next to you on the couch. “Whatcha doin’ there? Do ya think I will let ya touch ya'self if ya haven't even told me what ya want?”

With every passing minute he plays you, it's not just you who gets more aroused or the bulge in his pants growing; it's also his accent that gets thicker and makes the knot in your stomach grow tighter. You shake your head, pushing your hips up. Logan chuckles, keeping his fingers knuckles deep inside of you, massaging your walls, but it's not enough to throw you over the edge of your pleasure, and he knows.

“Logan, fuck, please, just fuck me already,” you moan, growing frustrated with his teasing. Logan pouts at you playfully before shaking his head. He lowers his head once more, kissing your clit. His fingers speed up inside of you while he sucks at your clit once again. Your walls squeeze his fingers, and Logan can say you're close; it only needs a bit more.

“Be a good girl and come,” he growls low in his throat, pressing his fingers against your spongy spot. Your mouth drops open, a bit of saliva flowing down the corner of your mouth. The knot in your stomach tightens even further and snaps just a moment after. You press your legs against Logan's shoulders, squeezing him between them.

He chuckles, watching your juices dripping out of you. Logan kisses his way down to your entrance, eating you like he never tasted anything better before. He groans against your cunt, sending vibrations through your body and almost causing another orgasm. “Fuck, ya taste like the sweetest thing ever, bub.”

Logan leans back, pushing himself up. His lips glistening with your arousal, you watch your boyfriend licking his fingers clean, letting them pop out of his mouth before he cleans the next with a grin on his lips. “How ya feelin’? It's warmer now?”

You nod, letting yourself fall backwards on the couch. Your breath is heavier, and your legs are still trembling from the orgasm. Logan's smile never fades, his eyes roaming over your naked body, his dick growing even harder in his pants. His gaze slowly moving to the sauna, noticing it should be warm enough now.

“Can ya walk, or do ya want me to carry ya?” Logan asks, his voice soft as he leans down; it doesn't need words from you. He chuckles and picks you up, holding you tightly against his chest while he kisses down your neck. Logan's prominent bulge is pressing against your cunt, making you whimper in anticipation. “I know, bub, ya are goin’ to get my dick. Mhm, such a greedy girl, aren’t ya?”

Logan sits you down in the sauna; it's already heated up, and you sigh softly when you feel the warm wood underneath you. The warmth combined with the smell of some sandalwood surrounding you. Logan turns, walking out of the sauna to undress himself. Your eyes roam over his body, especially when he exposes his well-trained chest and abs; the dark curls make you almost drool. His big hands work his pants open, leaving him in his boxer briefs with a visible outline of his thick, rock-hard cock. Logan takes them off on his way back into the sauna to you, revealing his leaking length.

“Lay down, bub,” he mumbles, closing the door of the sauna before he walks closer to you. He grins at you, thinking for a moment before he opens his mouth again. “Or do ya want to save a horse instead?”

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy, huh?” You joke, nodding toward the bench for Logan to sit down. He takes a seat next to you, one of his hands wrapping around his leaking cock, stroking himself slowly. You raise an eyebrow, looking at your boyfriend, who leans further back to make more space for you to sit, probably on him. “You want to pleasure yourself; I mean, you don't have to get this beautiful, warm tightness wrapped around you.”

“Such a tease. Now get ya pussy around my cock, or do ya need help to sit on the cowboy?” He asks with a dangerous glistening in his eyes. You roll your eyes playfully, moving to straddle his lap; Logan groans when your wetness touches his muscular thigh. And for a moment you think about getting off on his thick; it's not as good as his cock, but it feels amazing too. “Needy girl, can't get enough of ya old man, can ya?”

It's like he can read your mind, and he may be able to do so. You don't care because he's the only one you are glad that he can read you like a book. Logan holds his cock for you to just sit down; he smiles, staring into your eyes, while you position yourself over him.

“Look at me, bub. Want ya to look me in the eyes when my cock splits your pretty little pussy.” You slowly sink down on his cock, his big tip stretching your pussy already, and you inhale deeply the further you take him into your tight cunt. Logan's breath hitches when he feels your walls wrapping tightly around his thick cock. He doesn't need to do much; your pussy is wet enough for him to slip inside of you with ease.

The cold from before is almost completely forgotten with the warmth of the sauna and his cock deep inside of you. When he bottoms out, you sit still on his lap for a moment, enjoying his broad hands running up and down your sides, soothing you softly. Your eyes still locked with Logan's, he smiles softly before he leans closer and captures your lips with his.

The kiss is the complete opposite of your action; while you're feeling his dick twitching inside of you, the heat radiates around you, and he kisses you like the most precious thing, soft and slow. Your pussy pulsates around him, squeezing him tightly. When his tongue glides over your lips, you part your lips slightly to give him access to deepening the kiss. Logan thrusts his hips from underneath you up, pushing his cock even further into you, his pubic hair rubbing over your clit, and you moan breathlessly into his mouth.

“Fuck, Lo,” you whine, lifting your hips to slide down his length again. He chuckles, kissing your jawline down to your neck. Your fingers find their way into his hair, fisting it tightly while you keep him where he is, close to you. Logan kisses your soft skin, nibbling and sucking softly at it when he feels your cunt clenching around him further. “Can— Can you please, Lo?”

He nods against you, his lips keeping their place at your neck when he places his hands at your hips to support your movements. Soft moans and whines fall from your lips whenever he bottoms out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, making you see stars. “It's a nice ride, isn't it, bub?”

Logan chuckles, continuing to kiss your neck. His tongue slides over a prominent vein, making you whimper softly. He keeps fucking you in a slow but steady pace, his cock filling you perfectly, creating the perfect bond between slight pain and unbelievable pleasure.

Logan supports your movements, your breath heavy while you also feel your legs on both sides of him on the bench slowly starting to hurt. Logan chuckles, bringing one of his thumbs to your clit, rubbing small circles. You shriek, looking down at his thumb on your clit; your cunt clenches hard around him, and you can feel your second orgasm building up in your lower stomach. You pull at his hair tighter, earning low groans from your boyfriend.

“Gonna cum, bub? Come on, make a mess all over me,” he mumbles against your neck. He presses his thumb more against your bundle of nerves, causing more moans and whines to slip past your lips. Logan's breath gets heavier the more you clench around him, the friction of your tight walls around his cock, the warmth and wetness making his dick twitch. He feels himself getting closer as well, his lips parting while breathy groans of him echo through the sauna as well.

The sauna gets hotter with every second; your bodies are already sweaty. Logan pulls you in for another kiss, wanting to feel your breathy moans when you come for him. He bites your lip softly, increasing the pace of his thrusts and his thumb, pushing you over the edge. Your cunt squeezing him, gushing around him. Logan stumbles over the edge of pleasure right after you, kissing you with such a softness that you're not sure that his dick and his mouth belong to the same person.

He fills you with his hot cum, thrusting his hips slowly through your orgasm. His name falls from your lips over and over again; his cock feels so much thicker with your cunt being overstimulated. When he keeps rutting into you, you feel some tears welling up in your eyes, and Logan immediately pulls back to look at you, stopping his movements.

“Too much, bub? Need me to pull out?” He asks, bringing his calloused hands to your cheeks, softly wiping away your tears. Logan doesn't move, waiting for you to talk to him. You shake your head slowly, and he narrows his eyes slightly, looking concerned. “Was I too rough? Or just sensitive?"

“Sensitive,” you mumble into his hands, wrapping your hands around one of his wrists to pull his palm to your lips, kissing it softly. “C—Can you just not move? I just want you inside of me, but it’s so much pleasure when you move.”

“Of course, whatever the princess wants,” Logan says softly, his palms still framing your face when he pulls you into another kiss. The afterglow of your orgasm and the warmth of the sauna causing you to relax. You can feel Logan's dick softening inside of you, his cum slowly dripping out of you and onto his thighs, but he doesn’t even think about pulling out just yet. “You're warmed up now?”

You giggle softly, nodding while you lean more into Logan; he glides his hands down your neck and around your back to pull you even closer. He inhales your scent deeply, kissing your neck and shoulders softly. “You love kissing me, don't you?”

“First of all, who wouldn't love to kiss ya. Ya the most kissable person. And ya mine, that's the second point; of course, I'm obsessed with ya, and I'm addicted to ya kisses and just feeling ya, bub,” Logan answers honestly, pulling you even closer. A soft chuckle leaves his lips before he keeps talking. “How about a shower, and then we should clean the sauna, or else they will ask us what we did in here that leaves white ropes like that.”

“Mhm, it's your cum; you need to clean it,” you giggle, kissing the corner of his lips softly. Logan growls, pulling you into another kiss, showing more dominance this time even though it's still playful.

“Maybe I let ya lick it off, since ya love my cum so much, bub,” he mumbles, getting up with his cock still deep inside of you and his arms wrapped tightly around you. You look over his shoulder, seeing the wood coated in sweat and cum. You chuckle, squeezing around Logan's cock. He groans, his breath hitches, and you can feel his cock hardening inside of you again. “Ready for a round second in the shower, such a good girl. Always so ready for me, bub.” He chuckles, thrusting slightly into you with every step, making you moan and clench around him. That’s going to be a fun vacation for the two of you, because he has planned so much more; not only sex, but there are actually some places he thinks could be good to use for the two of you to have fun.

Taglist: @pono-pura-vida @sergeantbarnessdoll @rogersbarber @kimmie113080 @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @fandomxo00

[monstersflashlight]

Advent calendar: Day 17. Carrots

A/N: Kinda related, kinda not, but you should watch “Hot Frosty” on Netflix if you haven’t, totally recommend it (it’s very ridiculous in the best way possible). Sorry for all the awful dialogue you are about

Snowman x fem!reader || questionable use of vegetables, temperature play (kinda), mentioned overstimulation

When your witch friend asked you to build a snowman with her, you thought nothing of it. It would be fun, the snow was fresh and everyone seemed cheerful around you as you built his round body. Your friend, though… She made hers to look a bit more realistic, less round and more angular, in a way that was giving uncanny valley vibes. But you thought nothing of it, why would you?

When she asked if you liked him, you started to suspect there was something special about him, but again, you thought nothing of it. And when she used the carrot to make a dick instead of a nose, you almost peed yourself laughing. It was just so stupid looking, all white and round but with a big carrot dick… You should have known better.

And then he showed up, alive and walking, knocking on your door and staring up and down at you like he was about to fuck you right there. His carrot dick was erected and pointing straight at you. You gaped at him as he smiled, stroking his dick slowly. You gaped some more, your eyes accidentally traveling down. That was an amazing carrot…

No. Behave, you cannot fuck a snowman, you tried to remind myself.

“Wait here,” you told the snowman, who only nodded. You grabbed your phone and dialed your friend. “Why there’s a living snowman at my door, dude?!” You screamed at her as soon as she picked up. The poor dude was looking at you as if you were his dream come true.

“Calm down, you seemed very lonely and I had a bit of extra magic lately… So I gave you my Christmas gift early. Do you like him? Have you tried him yet?”

“Have I tri- What the fuck?!” You must be dreaming, there was no way that was happening to you. You pinched yourself and blinked, but the snowman was still in front of you and your friend was still talking.

“He’s ready for you, darling. He wants to treat you like the queen you deserve to be,” she explained, almost bored. You wanted to pull her hair until she was bald.

“You did not send me a sex snowman,” you repeated, trying to make sense of what you were seeing and hearing.

“I did. Now I have to go, have fun!” She said before hanging up on you.

“We are not fucking,” you told him, your frown so deep you could see your eyebrows.

“I’m going to feed my carrot to your hungry bunny,” he deadpanned, in a tone that you supposed was intended to sound sexy. It didn’t. You struggled not to laugh, but his face was so serious you couldn’t do that to him, he looked so hopeful.

You stared at him, his hand lazily stroking his carrot once again. You felt your face blushing. You really needed to get laid, your pussy was getting wet about a snowman and a carrot… But you had more pressing matters than your wet pussy.

“One: you can’t say things like that. And two: we aren’t going to fuck.” His face fell and he stopped moving his hand, making you almost sad. Dang.

“Why not? I can smell your juices.” He could what? “You are hot for me and I’m cold for you, we should do something about it.” How desperate were you that he sounded right? You did want to fuck a snowman… Fuck, there was something so, so wrong inside of you because you were considering taking him on the offer.

“I- We- You are a snowman,” you let out, not really having a point.

“And you are a human, but my carrot is very hard for you.” You chuckled, the absurdity of it all getting to you. But most of all, your strength to hold back disappeared with that affirmation. He was made for you, and you were very horny, and his carrot looked especially delicious right now…

“Okay,” you agreed, your pussy almost clapping with enthusiasm. It had been a long time since you were properly fucked and you were feeling the need for sure.

“Okay? Are you… are you sure?” He suddenly seemed very confused about your decision, as if all his bravado died the second you agreed to fuck him. You wanted to coo at him, but you decided there was a better choice.

You walked to him and kissed his half open mouth. He was cold, but at the same time his lips felt like velvet against yours as you devoured his mouth. He gave as much as received, deepening the kiss and circling your body with his arms. You were pressed firmly against his front and your nipples instantly hardened, he was so cold in such a pleasurable way… You didn’t even know you had something for temperature play but good snowman if your pussy wasn’t quivering thinking about his hard carrot pocking your stomach.

You parted, looking at him intently, but when you didn’t find any doubt in his eyes, your choice was already made. “Fuck me, my snowman,” you almost pleaded, your voice trembling as your pussy pulsated at the same rhythm as your heart.

“Your wish is my command.” He laid you on the floor, right in the middle of your living room. “Are you ready for my carrot?” He asked, as you tried not to giggle. You nodded, fearing if you opened your mouth you would laugh and he wouldn’t give you his dick. And you needed it. You needed it so, so bad.

He entered you in one long thrust and you cried out in ecstasy. The contrast between your warm body and his cold skin was exhilarating and arousing, sending you to the stratosphere of pleasure. You didn’t know what was about to happen, but the size and shape of his carrot ended up being fantastic. The almost pointy tip played with your cervix as the wide base made your pussy clench around it, rubbing against your G-spot in the most amazing way. It was the perfect sex toy, even better, he was like a breathing sex-toy and that made your brain turn a bit fuzzy at the edges, arousal so big it was maddening.

He started a punishing pace, his dick going in and out of you so fast and hard your whole body was moving across the floor. You had to hold onto the carpet (carpet burn be damned) to be still as he pounded into your welcoming heat. He kept moaning how warm and wet you were, how good your heat felt against his cold… And you could only chant “yes, yes, yes” as he kept going.

And when you came like a tidal wave, your whole body convulsing as he kept fucking you. He didn’t stop, he fucked you through it as he used his cold fingers to rub your clit, making you ascend in your pleasure even higher. You screamed his name, pulling at his ice hair and trying to hold for dear life as you kept coming and coming…

And he kept going.

He fucked you many more times that night, his stamina endless as he kept using his clever carrot to pound into your G-spot as his cold fingers pinched your clit until you couldn’t hold back orgasm after orgasm. It was the most intense pleasure you’d ever felt, and by the time you asked for a rest, he was smirking down at you, the smugness in his face making your overused pussy twitch in anticipation.

And then you remembered… You had to thank your friend. Damn it.

[kiemiu]

frosty the snowman | ( fem!reader ) fluff + slight angst. enemies to lovers drabble wc 1.4k ( kiemiu's fluffmas masterlist )

"Matt, move your ass!" You shouted, both of your hands planted on the large ball of snow as you waited for him to finish the second layer of the snowman. He did nothing in return but roll his eyes, murmuring curses under his breath as he continued to roll the ball of snow until it seemed fit enough. "Instead of bitching, why don't you get started on the head!" he suddenly shouted back as he lifted the boulder of snow and made his way towards you.

Before you could interject with your own smart comment, Nick shouted out "3 Minutes Left!" The megaphone blaring a loud alarm that only sets off your nerves. With that warning you ran far off to a pile of snow that was unoccupied, not realizing Matt followed behind you shortly after fixing the torso of the snowman.

He slightly shoved you aside and gathered his own pile, making you roll your eyes before side bumping him out of the way. "I don't need help with the head, go get the accessories." you murmured, taking handfuls of snow and packing them together quicker than him.

He let out a frustrated groan, his hands dropping to his sides while one of them still held the small compacted snowball. "You wonder why no one likes you when all you do is nag, nag, nag. I mean— seriously, how can someone so joyless take the fun out of a fucking snowman building contest?" he angrily spat.

You scoffed in slight disbelief, the snowball you had started to form now hanging at your side as you turned towards him. "Me, joyless? Please. How can someone so incompetent not know how to build a fucking snowman correctly to the point they have to be micro-managed!? Maybe, I wouldn't nag you if you actually knew what the hell you were doing." You spat back, tone laced with venom as you took a step toward him, the snowball in your clutches started to melt and seep through your cotton gloves with how tight you were holding it.

Matt didn't back down though, he stood his ground and stepped forward himself. "Incompetent, she says." He grumbled out, with an eye roll. "I wouldn't trust you to chew gum and walk at the same time." he added on, his eyes laced with a determination that he wouldn't back down from the argument unless you did first.

You scoffed before rolling your eyes, "You're a dickhead, d'you know that?" "And you're a pain in my ass." he whispered back, not giving your statement any time to settle in the cold winds. The tension between you two was unbearable, you looked at each other like you wanted to kill him, and him you. You remained barely a hair's length from each other, so close that the puffs of air released in frustration became it's own joint cloud.

"2 minutes!" Nick shouted, his voice faint as he set off the blaring siren of his megaphone once again. "Go get the accessories. I'll finish with the head." He asserted without room for argument. Before you could interject he turned his back towards you and back towards the pile of snow.

Unable to hide the anger coursing through you, the bit of snowball you still had left in your hands was chucked into the back of his head before you started your tread to the box of accessories.

Unable to make it very far as you stopped dead in your tracks at the sudden impact of a cold sensation hitting the back of your thigh. You slowly turned around, still in place to see him forming another snowball in his hands.

"You do not want to play this game with me." You warned, pointing your finger at him as you slowly made your way around him like a predator stalking its prey. "You started it." He declared before he chucked another snowball at you, this time giving you enough time to dodge it before diving on the ground to collect more snow.

Before you knew it, you and Matthew were chucking snowballs at each other, screaming, and running around to avoid getting hit while collecting as much snow as you could to chuck at the other.

Both of you stopped for a moment to catch your breaths. "You give up?" He asked, crouching down and resting his hands on his knees as he tried to regain control of his breathing. "No, fuck you!" you screamed back resting your hands on your hips before tilting your head towards the sky.

"Fine." You heard him begrudgingly reply before he slowly started to make his way towards a large chunk of snow that laid discarded on the floor. You also started your tread towards it, both of you soon enough realizing that you were going for the same piece of ice, giving you a shot of adrenaline to start running towards it, having to get it before he could.

Both of you dived for the piece of ice, shoving each other for it and toppling over one another to grab it. "God, you're so fucking annoying." you cried out as you both reached for the snowball, his legs and arms tangled around yours at this point as you both kicked and pulled to grab it. "You're the most obnoxious person, I know!" he shouted back, both of you grabbing the ball of snow at the same time and cradling it between your chests, neither of your grips faltering as both of you tried to pry it from each other.

After the constant struggle and a harsh yank from Matt, the piece of ice broke between the both of you, crumbling into smaller chunks. You sat up looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, him mirroring your actions as his hands still clawed on the ground beneath him. "I hate you." you whispered, almost unsure even though that's what you were sure you felt for him all the time you've known him.

"I hate you more." he replied, his head turning to the side as you swiped snow at him. Your hands grabbing another handful of snow, getting ready to throw it at him once again but failing as he grabbed your wrist. Your fight against his grip was futile as he did nothing but slowly pull you closer towards him.

Stopping your fight against his unwavering grip, you looked up to see him already looking at you. His eyes no longer clouded with faulty hate but a more sincere look. He looked tired in a way, as if his walls were finally starting to break down and he no longer wanted to fight what he really felt about you.

"Do you really hate me?" he asked quietly, his hand slowly starting to release the hold he had on your wrist. It took you a second to register his words and for you to catch your breath.

You couldn't exactly remember how the little feud between the two of you even started, nor could you remember why it stuck around for so long. But what you did know is that you didn't hate him. At least not as much as you fronted like you did.

You simply nodded your head 'no' as you watched and waited for his reaction. "I don't hate you either...the exact opposite actually." He murmured. The two of you were so stuck in this trance of newfound emotions that you failed to hear the timer for the contest buzz on and on, and Nick yelled for everyone to gather around so he could judge the snowmen.

Before you realized he was closer than before. The warmth of his breath caressing your lips, Matt licked his lips before he grabbed the front of your jacket and pulled you towards him, finally breaking the invisible barrier between you two and pressing his lips against yours. Your lips moved in sync, emotions bursting at the seams. Confusion, lust, and longing surrounded you as you fell into the kiss. Puffs of smoke leave your noses as you press further into the kiss. Tilting his head far to the side as he pulled you on top of him.

The kiss was rough, clashing of his teeth against yours with your tongues intertwined. It was a nonstop battle for dominance but you wouldn't have it any other way. Even if you didn't win that stupid contest, you were able to confront your love for the man you swore was your enemy..

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🎁: @emely9274 @ginswife @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash @sturnina @lovetaylorrussellgrr @nervoussagittarius @sacaydia @chrissturnsss @hearts4werka @chrisprincesss @koilaniazul @starsforu @sturn777 @sturniolosiphone @chrisfavoritewhore @sturnsmia @leaningoutthewindow

[blackbirdi]

Harry Potter Incorrect Quotes #2

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry: So how’d you guys manage to crash the car last night?

Hermione: Ron wasn’t paying attention to the road, and there was a deer. So I shouted, “RON, DEER!”

Ron:

Hermione: Go on. Tell him what you said.

Ron: … “Yes, honey?”

*Cue Harry dying*

———————————

George: *Whispering so they don’t get caught out of bed by Filch* What time is it?

Fred: *Screams loudly*

Snape: WHO THE FUCK IS SCREAMING AT TWO IN THE MORNING!?

Fred: There you go.

———————————

Hermione: *Showing Mr. Weasley how to use muggle technology* There you go. Your laptop is all set up.

Mr. Weasley: Will it get heavier if I put more files in it?

Hermione: What?

Mr. Weasley: Like, if I download files will it weigh more?

Hermione:

———————————

*The girls decorating the Christmas tree*

Hermione: Does anyone know where the angel is?

Ginny: *Pointing at Luna* Found it!

———————————

Mrs. Weasley: When I said bring me something back from Hogwarts I meant something you bought at Hogsmeade.

The Twins: *Struggling to contain a Bludger* Well you didn’t specify that!

———————————

Neville Longbottom: So how’d you know Harry was the one?

Ginny: *Dreamily* He looked at me the way every woman wants to be looked at…

Neville: Awww.

Ginny: With fear in his eyes.

Neville:

Hermione: Awwwww.

———————————

Ron: Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Cause you’re a whole snack.

Hermione: Are you silence? Because you make me speechless.

Ginny: Who do you think is going to make this dirty first?

Harry: Turn this dirty? Neither of them, Gin, they’re too cute for one another.

Ron: Are you my pinky toe? Cause I’m gonna bang you against every piece of furniture I own.

Hermione:

Harry:

Ginny:

Harry: I take back my previous statement.

———————————

*After watching Frosty the Snowman*

Ron: What did Frosty the Snowman do other than come to life, do a little dance, and die?

Harry: Isn’t that what we all do, really?

———————————

Ron: You played me like a fiddle!

Fred: Oh no, Ronniekins. Fiddles are actually very difficult to play.

George: We played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

———————————

Ron: *Walking into the living room to complain* Mum! There’s no more snacks in the kitchen!

Ginny: *From the kitchen* But I’m literally right here!

Ron: *Frustrated groan*

———————————

The Twins: We can assure you, our place of business is extremely safe.

Ron: *Looking up at the ceiling* The smoke detector is a white bowl with a red M&M taped to it…

[schlattslonghairytoes]

baby its cold outside❄️ ⛄️

announcing your relationship!!

*christmas album schlatt ahead*

you and schlatt had been dating since the end of 2021 when you met in texas

when he decided he wanted to move back to new york, you immediately knew you wanted to follow him there

but here was the issue

no one knew you two were dating.

ofc there was speculation, but it was never confirmed, and you guys werent stupid

if the both of you randomly moved to new york you would never hear the end of it

and you both always knew you wanted to announce it in a fun way rather then through rumors

so when schlatt had announced he would be releasing a christmas album you knew it was time

you two had been friends for a long time as far as the fans knew, but you both felt it was time to finally announce your relationship so you could move on and live your lives, rather then hide from people

schlatt was going to move back in late may, and your plan was to join him in early august

the three months you guys spent apart only confirmed that this was the right decision for the both of you

when initially recording the songs of you two together, ill be honest, it was a fucking struggle

laughter, voice cracks and some small segments of yelling were filling up the recordings, rather then actual singing

but eventually when the album was released, fans immediately noticed the ft. of their favorite creator next to three different songs

fans went wild.

(understandable, i would too.)

a christmas special

Jschlatt

christmas: classics • 2024 •

1 Let it snow!

2 It's beggining to look alot like christmas

3 Baby, its cold outside - ft you

4 White christmas

5 Your a mean one Mr. Grinch - ft ted nivison

6 Something stupid - ft you

7 Santa claus is comin' to town - ft ludwig

8 Jingle bells - ft jack manifold

9 Santa baby - ft you

10 Feliz navidad - ft quackity

11 Frosty the snowman - ft tom simons

12 We wish you a merry christmas - various artists

one week later when a vlog was uploaded to your channel called

"3 years with big guy"

safe to say fans finally understood what was going on.

[sexlapis]

# a snowy morning .·

𝗓𝖹𝗓 🦌 ⎯⎯ &. ♥︎

❤︎ toji x gn!reader

sfw, fluff, christmas season, petnames (‘kid’, ‘sweetie’), playing in the snow, old man toji, he’s a tiny bit mean but … <3

wc: 1.9k

a/n: just wanted some toji winter fluff…<3 merry christmas everyone ᒄ₍⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎ᒃ♪♬

masterlists

*

toji awakens with a startle at your shout, shooting up and out of bed, swiping his handgun from his bedside drawer and stumbling to where you stand, looking out of the bedroom window.

life away from the city was all toji wanted, along with peace and quiet, which is why you and toji live just on the outskirts of the woods, where your only neighbours are the wild animals that roam the surrounding forest.

and toji likes it that way; no annoying neighbours, no noisy cars, no air pollution and clear, vibrant skies where you can actually see the fucking stars when you look up.

but with you around…peace and quiet are nothing but foreign concepts.

“toji, look!” you exclaim. “it’s snowing! it’s- toji put that away.” you frown at him, referring to his gun.

“what’s with all that yelling?” he grunts, lowering his weapon and instead unsafely using it to scratch his back.

“it’s snowing! it must’ve started when we slept!”

toji huffs, his heart slowing down a little in relief. “alright, let’s jus’-”

“it’s so deep too. and it looks so soft. i’m going outside!”

after your sporadic ramble, you’re flinging out of your pyjamas and into thicker, warmer clothes.

“it’s six in the morning.” toji deadpans, blinking away the sleep in his eyes and ruffled by you shocking him awake. “we can go outside later.”

you were always so spontaneous with your plans, he could hardly keep up with them.

“no! it could be melted by then,” you claim, throwing a large, cream-coloured sweater over your head, “put your clothes on, you're coming with me.”

“now why am i involved?” he asks, rhetorically of course, since he’s already heading to his wardrobe and picking out a black fleece along with a long sleeved shirt.

he should really stand his ground more, show you who’s in charge and who makes the rules around here. after all, it is his house.

but when you look at him so expectantly, hoping for him to agree, he knew that he would only comply with your wishes.

and you know that too.

“someone needs to help me build the snowman!”

*

minutes later, you’re skipping in the sparse forest behind the house, travelling through crunchy snow to the best of your abilities, leaving uneven footprints in your path as toji trails behind you, chiding you to slow down.

frosty, crisp air bites at your exposed face, sure to ache when you get back inside to the warmth. the wintry sky is painted in a pale periwinkle, cloudless and plain lest for the faded crescent moon that follows you on your merry way.

you leave the forest and you are welcomed to the wide, vast and picturesque landscape of the field you and toji commonly frequent. said field is completely blanketed in a white sheet of pure snow, going on for miles and miles, glittering in the morning glow.

“kid, what’d i say.” toji huffs, coming to stand beside you with a hand supporting his back, a little out of breath. “what a view, huh?”

“mhm!” you agree and then you’re plopping right down into the snow, repeatedly spread and closing your arms and legs, more strenuous than you expected, “come make a snow angel, toji! next to me. not too close though or you’ll mess mine up.”

toji sighs, mostly fond, breath leaving his nose and he clambers onto the snowy ground with his knees cracking, something you then proceed to make fun of him for and he flicks snow at you.

“toji, that got in my mouth!” you sputter and spit, glaring at a flailing toji who attempts to make a snow angel. his long, big limbs make the movement look heavy and odd, causing you to snort in his face.

“what’re you laughin’ at?” he grunts, his expression determined like he’s in a competition to make the greatest snow angel of all time. snow splatters all around him from his brash actions.

he looks so cute like this, you think. rosy cheeks, the sweet dimple on his left cheek that appears when he grins, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkled even more as he smiles and entertains you.

“okay, that’s enough!” you stand, brushing the snow away from your body, “get up. i wanna see what they look like.”

toji sticks his hand out, “‘right, help me up.”

��oh toji..” you mutter in faux annoyance before you clasp both of your gloved hands around his one, groaning with the struggle of lifting him up.

“i’m not that heavy, sweetie,” huffs toji, clapping his covered hands, causing snow to powder all around him, “okay, what’d you think?”

you both observe at the snow angels created by your bodies. they are…simply a mess and bundle of piled up mess, shapeless silhouettes dented into the snow, the size difference between them almost comical.

“…yeah it’s looks great ♡,” you smile, looking to toji who nods in agreement, clearly pleased with himself.

*

“okay! toji you make the body and i’ll do the head!” you call out to him from a distance after playing and prancing around in the know. you’ve already begun rolling out a small ball of firm snow along the ground.

meanwhile, toji’s snowball is already up to his knee. he shuffles and rolls his huge globe of snow around the field, leaving swirls and spirals in the sheet of snow behind him.

“how is yours so big already?!” you screech, glancing down at your pitiful snow ball, “we just started!”

“‘cos while i was getting down to business you were doin’ backflips in the fuckin’ snow.”

“hey!” beyond your better judgement, you launch the ball of snow right at toji, striking him square in the chest.

a quiet “ufff” leaves toji’s mouth and he peers at his once black winter coat that is now splattered in snow. then, he slowly raises his head back to you, a malicious glint in his eyes.

“ohhh, you really shouldn’t ‘a done that, kid…”

toji’s lifts what is supposed to be the body of the snowman and stalks towards you in swift strides. you scream, already on your feet and dashing away downhill, squealing and cackling as toji runs after you with the giant snowball in his arms, a sight that would be absurd to onlookers if there were any.

your foot slides off the floor and up into the air, landing on your back onto the pillow of snow, leaving you completely at toji’s mercy.

it took a mere four or five steps for him to keep up with you. quite sad on your part, really.

toji’s looms over you, a wicked grin on his lips as he holds the large snowball in his hands, “i hate to have ’ta do this but…”

“toji, please! have mercy-”

but your words fall on deaf ears. toji’s raises the vast ball of snow, creating a shadow over your vision, and your eyes are bulging, your stomach dropping slightly as he promptly drops the snow onto your awaiting body.

you gasp. luckily, your winter coat protected you from the bite of the snow, the clothing now caked with snow.

toji pats his hand for good measure right over your body, sprinkling snow on your face.

“how’s that, huh?” he smirks before noticing how you’re covering your face with the back of your hands, your shoulders shaking slightly.

shit.

“shit,” he crouched down and going to comfort you, thinking he took this game a little too far, “kid, you okay? ‘m sorry-”

a snowball is smashed into the side of his face.

“ha!” your giggles fill the bitter air and you shove him into the snow, jumping up and scurrying off, “got youuuuuuu!”

“oh, you fucking-” toji springs to his feet, shaking the snow his face, the area now red and flushed, “yeah, you better run!”

you and toji chase each other through the snow, launching snowballs at each other, noses rosy and cheeks aching from smiles and laughter, breaths heaving and hearts running as you both reveal in this newfound peace and joy.

playful, free and happy.

toji tackles you, cupping the back of your head as you fall to the ground softly.

he hovers over you. the hat that previously covered his head is long gone, most likely buried within the surrounding snow. his raven locks point in all directions and droplets of snow seasoned in his hair. tender, rounded eyes decorated with fluttering, thick lashes study you adoringly and you feel like hiding your face as your heart bursts in your chest.

you bite your lip and say, “i think i won.”

“yeah, sure you did.” toji rolls his eyes, shaking his head and kissing your nose, “c’mon, let’s go. it’s just gonna get colder, anyway.”

“i wanted to go ice skating on the lake, though…”

toji rises to his knees, lifting you up with him. he sweeps the snow from your hair and scans your body, his actions instinctual at this point, “yeah, yeah, we’ll go tomorrow, promise.”

you seem satisfied with his answer, allowing him to stand you up.

“i want a piggyback ride, please” you beam at him, and…toji is a weak man. only for you.

seconds later, he is letting you mount him like a horse and he begins the journey back to the cosy home you both created for yourselves.

toji’s large, strong stature makes you feel safe, protected. it always has. and with the smoothness of his steps, you find drifting off into a momentary rest against his broad shoulders.

*

the next time you come to, you’re on the couch of your living room, the fireplace crackling and illuminating the dim room. a fluffy, lengthy blanket protects you from the slight chill in the air which is also permeated with the scent of chocolate. you blink, licking your lips and yawning. you are by yourself, you note as you stretch and sit up on your knees.

shortly after that thought, toji walks in, holding two mugs of what you presume to be hot coco.

“hey, sweetie,” he coos, wishing to keep the quiet atmosphere, “got ya some hot coco,” he hands you the cup, placing his own on the coffee table and taking a seat right next to you, “‘fell asleep on the way back. musta been tired from waking up at ass ‘o clock, huh?”

you pout, gulping some of the chocolatey beverage which has your mouth hot and warming up your insides. you stick your tongue out at him, feeling too drowsy to even refute his snipe.

toji huffs, grinning softly. he licks his thumb and wipes the corner of your mouth to get rid of a chocolate stain.

“ugh, toji.” you grunt, “gross.”

“c’mon i've done worse than that.”

you grumble, sipping on your hot drink and ignoring his short chuckles.

he shifts closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, “c’mere.”

toji is so big and so warm and so soft and just so tender. you’re dropping your mug next to toji’s and snuggling up right beside him, also wrapping your arms around his waist, your cheek pressed up against his firm chest. it’s the perfect fit and you’ve never felt so content.

“hmm..think i’m gonna fall asleep again…”

“that's alright, baby.” toji hums, kissing the top of your head and smoothing your hair down. he loved the feeling of you in his arms, it made him feel like the protector that he is at his core, something he’d forgotten so much about - the true nature of himself.

“go to sleep,” and you are already passed out, fast asleep on toji’s firm body. he nuzzles against the top of your head and closes his eyes, breathing you in and holding you close.

he can stay here, with you in his arms, far away from the rest of the world, forever.

*

a/n: have a very merry christmas everyone! please make sure to rest and stay healthy ^_^🎄💚❤️

[dannyricsmirrorball]

our secret • ls18 ੈ✩‧₊˚

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairings || lance stroll x best friend!reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || lance and y/n are best friends but is that all that’s there or is something deeper on the horizon?

alt. just friends?… no way!

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || none, reader is down BAD

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || love me some lance stroll! i am churning these out one by one- i’ve started so many and then never finished so be patient w me pls haha 😭

liked by astonmartinf1, oscarpiastri, and 102,093 others 1

yourusername we back baby 💚 P6 for LS18 so proud!

tagged lance_stroll, fernandoalo_official, astonmartinf1

username72 paddock princess is back

username26 let’s goooo am looking good

username27 another season another year of y/n and lance pretending they’re just friends

chloestroll stunning babe

⤷ yourusername 😘

username73 lance’s lucky charm 🍀

username53 serving the nando and lance content we want and need

astonmartinf1 those are our drivers 🙌🙌

username25 actually obsessed w how y/n and nando have become bffs straight off the bat

username01 AM wdc & wcc 2023 i see the vision

fernandoalo_official 🫶

⤷ username25 let’s get u to bed old man

username5 missing seb and y/n hours

⤷ username82 rip lance stroll fan-club you’ll always be famous

lance_stroll LFGGGGG massive g

⤷ username81 need to work on them flirting skills bud

⤷ yourusername er- ok lancey

username91 need y/n at every race

username72 fave couple

⤷ username7 coupla besties!

liked by scottyjames31, estebanocon, and 90,083 others

yourusername cute

tagged lance_stroll

username82 this is v soft launch vibes

username71 inseparable the pair of them

lance_stroll think you’re meant to pull up your strap mate

⤷ yourusername wtv

⤷ username17 they’re fucking.

chloestroll 😍😍

username73 lance looks sawrrrrr good

username1 need more casual lance omg

astonmartinf1 lance content? sign us up!

liked by scottyjames31, yourusername, and 26,982 others

chloestroll frosty

tagged scottyjames31, lance_stroll, yourusername, heidiberger_, jacquelynjablonski

username71 ahhh couple goals

username63 OMG Y/N IS THERE

username82 second pic so cuteeee

⤷ username26 i’m pretty certain that’s y/n and lance…

username72 not lance going to the literal alps during his week break after the FIRST race of the szn 😭

yourusername love uuuu

⤷ chloestroll love u chook 🩷

danielricciardo um this is awkward 🫤

⤷ chloestroll sorry danny

⤷ scottyjames31 mate you’ve gotta actually come out into the snow if u want to make the gram

⤷ danielricciardo i’m just not acclimatised 😔

username17 awww this is the cutest little trip

astonmartinf1 stay safe king lance_stroll 🫡

⤷ lance_stroll roger that

yourbffusername those two certainly look cosy

⤷ chloestroll 😅

liked by danielricciardo, mickschumacer, and 92,083 others

yourusername i said brrr it’s cold in here

tagged chloestroll, heidiberger_, jacquelynjablonski, lance_stroll, scottyjames31, danielricciardo

username16 i need to be part of their friend group

username52 ahhhh so cute

username01 HAHAH the danny tag on the snowman

⤷ yourusername he said it was too cold outside 🤷‍♀️

username62 find it kinda funny that there’s all these couples and then lance and y/n, makes u wonder…

danielricciardo thanku for making a snowman of me y/n/n 🥹

⤷ yourusername any day DR

chloestroll scotty looking sunburnt even in the snow

heidiberger_ snow angel 😚

⤷ yourusername ilyilyily

username17 ummm the last slide ms girl what is that?!

⤷ username52 is that lance…?

⤷ username16 watch them still say they’re only bffs

lance_stroll hectic

⤷ yourusername need to do more of these best friend trips

⤷ username16 what’d i say.

liked by ausgp, astonmartinf1, and 102,073 others

yourusername dump down under (lancey p4!!! ☺️)

tagged danielricciardo, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1, scottyjames31, chloestroll

username71 literally his good luck charm

username25 lance looks kinda…

danielricciardo did u want me to send one of them big heads of mine so u can hang it up in ur shrine for me 😇

⤷ yourusername ha ha ur so funny

⤷ danielricciardo my bad sorry i meant a lance one 😉

⤷ scottyjames31 reckon she’d love that

⤷ username17 we all seeing this?!

⤷ username03 when ur best friend’s brother-in-law and his best friend out ur crush on ur best friend to the whole world

astonmartinf1 always welcome in our garage 🫶

username61 her calling him lancey 🥹

username4 so cute but i just know he hates it

lance_stroll stop calling me that

⤷ yourusername grumpy old man

liked by estebanocon, lance_stroll, and 100,082 others

yourusername i never miss the monaco grand prix 🇲🇨

tagged scottyjames31, chloestroll, lance_stroll, estebanocon

username62 served.

username45 love that she included estie bestie!

username8 her bff’s other bff

lance_stroll the f******…? have fun watching from the grandstands from now on

⤷ yourusername sorry no more red cars 🫤😟

⤷ charles_leclerc you’re always welcome in the ferrari garage y/n 🤍

⤷ lance_stroll watch it.

chloestroll cutie

username69 need that shirt

estebanocon 💙🩷

⤷ yourusername congrats on p3 king!

username17 trust. y/n will always find a way to include lance in her posts, even if it’s a shitty photo

username46 girlfriend core

liked by heidiberger_, franciscac.gomes, and 197,028 others

yourusername formalities

username72 ON MY KNEES

username2 omfg the COATTT

username63 ummmm y/n babe who’s shoes are those

⤷ username3 praying that it’s lance

username49 people’s princess

heidiberger_ 😍

lance_stroll how mysterious

⤷ username72 🤔🤨

⤷ username4 not slick bro

chloestroll obsessed

username5 in her soft launch era

liked by astonmartinf1, landonorris, and 309,983 others

lance_stroll when in monte carlo

username63 oh.

username53 THE SHOES THE SHOES

scottyjames31 looking sharp brother

username26 the last slide is literally almost the exact same as y/n’s

astonmartinf1 a different kinda suit, we love it!

username62 omg do we think y/n was lance’s date to this

⤷ username8 oh fs

username64 actually fully breaking down i’ve waited for this moment for so long

⤷ username2 RIGHT those are literally the shoes in her post there’s no way they aren’t

estebanocon 😍

fernandoalo_official very smart 👌

liked by astonmartinf1, chloestroll, and 183,029 others

yourusername aston film dump 💚

tagged lance_stroll, fernandoalo_official, estebanocon, astonmartinf1

username5 this is the content we want we need

ajimmyslife tryna steal my job?!

⤷ yourusername oops 🤭

username74 estie and lance content 🫶

username18 nando and lance are so underrated

astonmartinf1 y/n giving us the content we all deserve 💚

lance_stroll that damn camera always in my face ���❤️

⤷ yourusername you love it

⤷ username18 he loves YOU!

liked by chloestroll, danielricciardo, and 120,837 others

yourusername pre wedding shenanigans 🍾

tagged chloestroll, scottyjames31

username92 omfg these wedding fits are eating

username19 aww scotty and chloe look so cute

username25 MAN ALERT

⤷ username56 literally praying for my life that it’s lance

chloestroll love u babe

danielricciardo ready for more shenanigans 🕺🕺

username63 losing my mind over the fourth slide

username8 y/n has a man?!

username93 guys relax it’s defsssss lance

⤷ username64 and if it’s not?

⤷ username93 then all my hopes and dreams are gone and love is dead.

lance_stroll beratta was mint

⤷ username16 this guy.

liked by chloestroll, scottyjames31, and 209,039 others

yourusername strolling w the james’

tagged scottyjames31, chloestroll, lance_stroll

username73 OMG

username64 THE PHOTO OF HER AND LANCE JDFGYRYD

username28 the fact she posted and pic of just lance and chloe oh i’m gonna cry

username22 do we reckon lance and y/n were each others dates?

chloestroll i love you sweetie 🌷

⤷ yourusername i love uuuu, had the best time chlo, so so happy for u 🥹 my sister forever x

danielricciardo giving daniel3.jpg a run for its money y/n/n

heidiberger_ stunning

username18 ugh i’m so obsessed

lance_stroll shoved me to the back half of the post smh

⤷ yourusername this isn’t abt u 🙄🙄

liked by yourusername, astonmartinf1, and 401,029 others

lance_stroll to scotty and chloe 🥂

tagged chloestroll, scottyjames31

yourusername ur messing up the feed w the b&w 😫

⤷ lance_stroll oh no

⤷ yourusername bit of sass there

username19 f1 royal wedding fr

username18 why am i crying over this billionaire nepo baby f1 driver’s billionaire nepo baby sister’s wedding to an iconic aussie olympic snowboarder 😟

username53 bye the second photo is so funny

chloestroll love you ❤️❤️

estebanocon 🤩🤩🤩

username72 this is actual so cute

astonmartinf1 royal wedding ✨

liked by franciscac.gomes, lance_stroll, and 103,039 others

yourusername RAHHHH points at home 🇨🇦🍁🥞

tagged lance_stroll

username62 dead at the maple syrup 💀

username4 lance looks SOOO boyf

astonmartinf1 rahhh 🇨🇦

username7 guys we KNOWWW no need to hide it

chloestroll lfggg ❤️

username91 ugh shes so gf and he’s so bf like i just want to put them together and 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

lance_stroll now down a cup of maple syrup.

⤷ yourusername oh!

liked by fernandoalo_official, mickschumacer, and 72,093 others

yourusername recently

usernane23 awwww she’s watching lance’s race

username12 first pic is giving gf vibes…

username11 now who are those flowers from missy?!

fernandoalo_official cheers 🍻

username66 y/n at castle stroll 🤭

lilymhe miss u 😢

⤷ yourusername coming to monaco asap bbg

⤷ alex_albon she’s actually competing rn 😜

⤷ yourusername that’s fine, i’ll fill out all my wag duties 😽

⤷ alex_albon dont you have other wag duties for ur own bf and not MY gf

⤷ username67 ALEX SPILL EVERYTHING

⤷ alex_albon fuck.

lance_stroll damn no feature?

⤷ yourusername does 3rd one count ☹️

⤷ lance_stroll i’ll let it go this time. do better 🙄

liked by astonmartinf1, georgerussell63, and 92,038 others

yourusername dump innit ☕️🇬🇧

tagged lance_stroll, alex_albon

username12 that coat is incredible

username64 alex and lance so cuteee

username3 dead that major side eye lance is giving in the last pic HAHAHA

chloestroll the last photo… whole lotta sass on that man 🤣

⤷ yourusername i know right, what a loserrrrr

ajimmyslife thank u for providing some lance meme content y/n/n

⤷ yourusername all u gotta do is ask 😉

username53 my fave bffs

alex_albon can u see my pure enjoyment seeing u getting rained on

⤷ yourusername cant believe you did that to me smh

⤷ alex_albon what can i say? u stole my gf i stole ur-

⤷ yourusername ha ha funny man funny man

liked by carmenmmundt, lance_stroll, and 129,938 others

yourusername summer so far 🌺

username71 OH MY GOD

username34 OH OH OH

username63 the soft launch is soft LAUNCHING

username18 this is for the lance y/n truthers 🗣️

⤷ username4 how do we know it’s him tho…?

chloestroll glowing 🩷

username62 i am going to throw up

lilymhe boddddd

username73 god i have seen what you’ve done for others

username91 THE FLOWERS?!? oh my girl is loved uppp

heidiberger_ gorgeous gorgeous girl

username13 ofc lance would spoil her w all those flowers, his love language is def gift giving and acts of service

username2 THE HAMMOCK KISS

liked by mickschumacer, yourusername, and 823,083 others

lance_stroll ☀️

username18 oh the soft launch is sooo good

username4 do they think we don’t know

⤷ username92 let them have it it’s cute 🤣

chloestroll cute ☺️

username65 does he think cropping her face out will mean we don’t know who it is 💀

username36 this is so fucking cute

ajimmyslife who taught u how to soft launch… mastering this social media thing

liked by lailahasanovic, lance_stroll, and 209,039 others

yourusername my man my man my man 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

tagged lance_stroll

lance_stroll ❤️❤️

username19 AHHHHHH

username4 FINALLY

username66 i’m actually going to combust

lailahasanovic cuties 🥰

username52 oh they are everything to me

astonmartinf1 admin has known for so long. i can finally breathe.

⤷ username34 how long is so long admin…?

username5 best friends to lover will always prevail

username64 big day for y./n lance truthers. we fought wars to get here.

username44 oh my god lance is so pinterest boyfriend coded i’m going to be sick

chloestroll official sister-in-law’s 🤞🤞

scottyjames31 make sure he wears his sunscreen!

heidiberger_ 🩷

username18 lance is looking mighty fine

⤷ username12 gf effect in full action

liked by yourusername, scottyjames31, and 1,082,934 others

lance_stroll summer dump

tagged yourusername

username36 BOYFRIEND LANCE THE MAN THAT U ARE

username64 dead died not okay.

yourusername ah look at my beautiful gorgeous boyfriend

⤷ lance_stroll i love u

⤷ yourusername 🤭🤭 say it again.

username18 shut up shut up SHUT UP

username63 oh my god the photos he takes of her i’m sobbing

fernandoalo_official happy for you 😊

⤷ username14 2008 alonso is rolling in his grave

username8 look how happy he is in the third pic 😫

chloestroll my favourite people 🫶

scottyjames31 LFGGG best people i know ❤️

estebanocon finally!

username46 the summer of wags and soft launches

username13 first mick and now lance, we’re losing and winning at the same time

astonmartinf1 can we know stake offical claim on number 1 y/n fans?

liked by lance_stroll, landonorris, and 129,082 others

yourusername viva lance vegas 🎆

tagged lance_stroll, astonmartinf1

username72 this is so cute

username64 VIVA LAS VEGAS

username73 oh to be y/n y/l/n wearing my f1 driver boyfriend’s team jacket

astonmartinf1 LFGGG

f1 p19 to p5 what a legend 🙌

⤷ yourusername he is isn’t he?! 🤭

⤷ username74 simping to the official f1 acc girl-

username4 the caption 😁

lamce_stroll ❤️❤️

username5 oh that fitttt

username92 fits never disappoint

liked by lance_stroll, ajimmyslife, and 102,848 others

yourusername i love my boyfriend

tagged lance_stroll

username46 girl is down SO bad

username3 y/n STAND UP

alex_albon whipped

⤷ yourusername ur talking?

username45 oh my god they are everything

username42 y/n the feet 😭

⤷ username7 at-least they have socks on

username64 yk what they say abt big feet…

⤷ yourusername 😶🤭😙😁

⤷ username69 girllll stand up 😭

lance_stroll i love my girlfriend

⤷ yourusername omg 🤭

⤷ username72 y/n girl stop embarrassing yourself he’s literally ur boyfriend 😭

[bamsywrites]

"What if....?" Halbrand AU

Pairing: Modern AU! Sauron/Halbrand x bookshop owner!Reader

Summary: What if Sauron was angry sludge for a couple 100,000 more years? What if all that time mellowed him out just a little? What if he meets Sweet One and is still completely unhealthily obsessed with her? And what if she asked him to put up Christmas lights?

Tags: Christmas AU, friends to lovers, romantic tension, two losers in love, short lil drabble

Notes: Yes, this is an AU of my own Fic, but it's happier, and I like happy. I knew this was a bad idea because I wanna keep writing this. There is one of the funniest lines I think I've ever written and was honestly the inspiration for this whole mini drabble.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” he mumbled to himself, the air was so cold his breath came out in puffs. His fingers were red and raw, having insisted that he had no need for your gloves despite your protests. He'd be fine in his jeans and thick flannel, he had argued, but he'd regretted it mere seconds after getting atop the ladder to place these damned lights.

He was The Dark Lord. The Deceiver. He had ripped elves apart with his bare hands. He had leveled cities. He had waited and bid his time for ages untold to bring his rule to bring the races of Middle Earth to their knees.

Now he was putting up Christmas lights outside a bookshop.

Why? He could wave his hand and make everyone think there were lights, decorations, a goddamn 12 foot Santa.

“Who the fuck even is Santa?” He mumbled to himself.

But he couldn't do any of that because you had asked him to hang lights.

His jaw set as he continued to work.

You. You were the reason for this. The moment he laid eyes on you, he gave it all up. All ambition. All desire for power or control. All sense of immortality. All for you. He had yet to know if you felt the same, but he did know that you were his salvation. You were good, and you were pure and looking into your heart and soul. He realized that his search for perfection ended with you.

And, if that meant hanging these stupid fucking lights, then so be it.

It took him 20 more minutes and approximately 135 more ‘fucks’ before he he was done and walking back into your shop.

“Told ya you'd need gloves,” you spoke with a smirk as you organized a few books.

“I needed no such thing, sweet one,” he spoke, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

“Well, either way, thank you. You're very appreciated.”

“Couldn't imagine making you get atop that ladder and do it yourself.” He responded, wetting his lips. He watched as you lit a candle, and the smell of vanilla and peppermint filled his nose.

“You really like this Christmas shit, don't you?”

“You don't?”

He shook his head, pressing his tongue against his teeth. “Nope. My family had too much…drama. Angst. Fighting.”

“Trust me, I know about dysfunctional families. I drowned it all out with old Christmas movies. Frosty the Snowman, the slow-motion puppet movies, there's so many. I love all of em.”

“And see, I've not seen a single one.”

“That's a shame,” You were back to stocking books onto shelves. You looked at one, pursing your lips, and he saw a twinkle in your eye. “What're you doing this weekend?”

He shrugged, eyebrows furrowed, “Nothing planned.” He watched you, fighting a smile and trying to act oblivious. He was nervous, truth be told, but a good nervous. A nervous that bubbled up in his stomach. It felt almost like…

Butterflies.

When was the last time he'd felt this kind of nervous excitement ? Had he ever felt like this?

You were full of surprises. You were an enigma. He didn't understand you, and though he desperately wanted to, he liked that you were different.

He watched the nervous twitch of your fingers, the way your teeth dug into your lip, he could see the thoughts racing behind your eyes as you approached him. You held a stack of thick chapter books to your chest as if to guard your heart. Your tongue ran over your bottom lip, and your eyes focused on the floor.

“Would you, maybe, like…” You inhaled and looked up at him, the butterflies in his stomach exploding into fireworks, “Would you like to come over on Friday? We could order something to eat, I could make cookies, and I could show you my favorites.”

The way your teeth bit down on your tongue, the blush to your cheeks, how your features scrunched in preparation for his response, all this was kindling to a fire.

“ Yeah… but are you sure that a weekend is enough time?” He asked with a tilt of his head. “It sounds like you have a lot of favorites, and I would really hate to make you choose between them.”

He watched as your breath caught in your chest. He had to fight the smirk that threatened to spread across his lips. He was a master manipulator, and it was taking all of his prowess to hide his true emotions at this moment.

“ Well, I mean, I'm not doing anything Saturday either if you wanted to stay the night and watch more in the morning.” Your fingers nervously stroked the top of the pages while your grip on the books got tighter.

“ Well then, I'm all yours,” He smirked down at you. “ I've never really seen a Christmas movie, I'll be glad to finally get some under my belt.” He watched you gently and hoped that you would fall for the bait that he had planted.

And by the way you shifted your weight between your feet and your eyes quickly looked down before making contact with his again, he knew he had won.

“ I am free all weekend,” you told him, your voice stuttering as the words left your lips. “ I wouldn't mind showing you more of the classics.”

He smirked and nodded, feeling victorious at the thought of spending almost three days with you. "Then that sounds like a plan.”

“ Yeah, a weekend long sleepover. But... you know... just as friends.”

“ Yeah, I know, just as friends.”

Despite his words, he couldn't help how his eyes traveled down to quickly glance at your soft, lush lips. Nor could he control how his mind wandered to how they might feel.

[psychoticallykind]

Jegumas Day Nine - Holiday Movies

1,268 words

@noblehouseofgay

--------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re being overly sentimental!”

“You’re being absolutely ridiculous!”

“I’m not being ridiculous, I’m being smart.”

“No, you’re being pessimistic.”

“That was a good word, Pads.”

“Thanks, Moony.”

“Remus, shut up unless you’re helping me.”

“Hey! Don’t tell him to shut up!”

There was a small crash.

“Do you think we should go in there?” James asked, hand hovering just above the door handle.

Pandora tipped her head back and forth. “I don’t know. We can probably wait them out.”

There was another crash. James and Pandora both winced a little.

“This is stupid!”

“You showed me a stupid movie!”

“It was a cute movie!”

“Since when is death cute?”

Pandora clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. James tipped his head back, closing his eyes in defeat.

He knew what they were arguing about now.

“It’s literally a children's movie!”

“Why would that be a children's movie? He died, Sirius? Did you comprehend that? He fucking died.”

There was a strain in Regulus’s voice that James recognized.

“You’re going in,” Pandora guessed. Or maybe she wasn’t guessing. Maybe James was just really easy to read.

Either way, he nodded. “Want to come in with me?”

Pandora glanced at the door, and then stepped back as she pulled out her phone. “Lily’s almost here. I’ll wait for her.”

“Smart,” James replied. He lowered his hand to grip the doorknob. “Alright. Wish me luck.”

Pandora nodded solemnly. “May you fare well in your endeavors, James Potter.”

James opened the door and stepped onto the battlefield. The battlefield being Sirius and Remus’s apartment.

Remus was on the couch, watching the argument happen.

Sirius was standing next to the couch, hands up in mid-gesture.

Regulus was a few feet away, his back to James as he continued to make his point. “You can’t show me a movie about a suicidal snowman -”

“Frosty is not suicidal,” Sirius cut him off. He rolled his eyes. “You’re way too attached to the fictional snowman, Reg.”

“I’m not attached!” Regulus growled. “I’m just saying -”

His voice dropped off as James reached him, gently touching his arm. Then he turned, meeting James’s hazel eyes with wide blue ones. “James, Sirius is being mean to me.”

“Mm,” James nodded, pulling Regulus into a hug. “I believe that. Are you okay?”

“Is he - oi,” Sirius looked offended. “I am not being mean. I graciously showed him a wonderful movie -”

“A horrible movie,” Regulus muttered.

Sirius sent him a glare that he didn’t see, as he was currently wrapped in James’s arms. “A wonderful, enchanting movie. And he accused me of trying to ruin Christmas!”

“Right,” James nodded, gently rubbing Regulus’s back. “So. We’re going to go that way -” He nodded toward the guest bedroom. “And you’re going to stay here. And we’ll be back.” He grinned at his best friend. “Deal?”

Sirius frowned. “Why does this feel like you’re taking his side?”

Regulus lifted his head. “Because he is, dumbass.”

Remus let out a shocked laugh. Then he froze, horror flashing across his expression as Sirius gave him a wounded look. “I didn’t mean -”

“It’s fine,” Sirius cut him off, but he was frowning.

“Sirius,” Remus said gently. He sat up and reached out to grab his boyfriend’s arm, tugging him closer. “Darling. Light of my life.”

James quietly led Regulus to the guest bedroom, leaving Remus to deal with that situation.

“So,” he started once the door was closed. “Not a fan of Frosty?”

Regulus blew out a breath, wrapping his arms around James’s shoulders. “James, he died.”

“Uh-huh.” James nodded. “I know that, love. He was a snowman, so he melted.”

“He was their friend,” Regulus complained. His head was tipped down, so James couldn’t see his expression, but he was starting to sound genuinely sad. “He came to life with magic, and they were so happy, and he was their friend. And then he died. And he knew he was dying, but he still sang with them and tried to make them happy. He was doomed from the start, Jamie.”

“Truly a tragic existence,” James agreed. He urged Regulus’s chin up. “Reg, love. Look at me?”

Regulus shook his head, pressing forward.

James hummed, stepping slightly back and dropping to his knees so that he could see Regulus’s expression. And then everything inside of him melted as he met Regulus’s eyes. “Oh, love. Are you crying for Frosty the Snowman?”

Regulus sniffed. “No.”

“No?” James asked. He wiped away a tear. “Are you sure?”

Regulus made a small, unhappy noise as he sat down in front of James, eyes wide. “I really didn’t want him to die. It’s not fair.”

James crossed his legs and pulled Regulus into his lap, hugging him close. “You’re right. I’m sorry he died.”

Dark curls brushed his cheek as Regulus buried his head in James’s shoulder. “We were watching, and there was this whole song about how happy he was, and I thought that he kind of reminded me of you because he made everyone smile. And then he died. And I know it’s dumb, but I really didn’t want him to die. I thought they would save him. And they didn’t.”

“It’s not dumb,” James assured him. “It’s really sweet, actually. You’re very sweet, and I’m sorry you’re upset.”

“Sirius is going to laugh at me,” Regulus mumbled.

“Sirius is not going to laugh at you.”

Regulus shook his head. “He is. He’ll call me ridiculous.”

“If Sirius calls you ridiculous or laughs at you, we’ll leave. And we’ll take Pandora and Lily with us,” James told him.

There were a few moments of quiet. James didn't mind - he’d sit here in the quiet for however long Regulus needed.

“Do you think I’m being ridiculous?”

James leaned back, meeting Regulus’s eyes. “Why would I think you’re being ridiculous?”

“Because,” Regulus started, giving James a doubtful look. “I’m crying over holiday movies.”

“I don’t think that any of your emotions are ridiculous.” James kissed his forehead. “I think you’re incredible. Plus, didn’t you tell me last week that your brain doesn’t differentiate between fictional characters and real people?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah. But that was for books.”

“I’m sure it works the same,” James countered. “So for all intents and purposes, you just witnessed a death. Being upset over a death makes perfect sense, love.”

“Sirius and Remus weren’t upset,” Regulus pointed out, but there was a little bit of hope flickering in his eyes.

“Sirius and Remus have seen that movie before.”

“They want to watch The Grinch next.”

James thought about it. “I think we should watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s much better.”

“Alright.” Regulus took a deep breath before standing up, offering James his hand. “I trust you. Let’s watch it.”

Sirius and Remus were curled up on the couch when they went back. Regulus stopped in front of Sirius. “Sorry I told you that you were going to ruin Christmas.”

Sirius nodded. “Sorry I didn’t warn you about the major character death.”

A few seconds passed, and Sirius tilted his head. “Although I really didn’t expect -”

“Let’s watch The Nightmare Before Christmas,” James interrupted, shooting Sirius a look. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. He pulled Sirius closer, pressing a kiss to his neck. “What do you think, sweetheart? You like that one.”

Sirius melted into his boyfriend. “Okay, yeah.”

“Great,” James replied, relieved. He grabbed a blanket and pulled it over Regulus. “You’ll like this one.”

Regulus hummed in agreement, resting his head on James’s shoulder.

James briefly wondered if Pandora was ever actually coming in.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons just cause

Nimona and Ambrosius are both like sentient space heaters 

Nimona runs hotter than the average human being because obvi

But Ambrosius is a whole nother ballpark 

I just know this man hates summer more than the average person

Poor baby is just a miserable sweaty clammy mess and if anyone tries to touch him during summer he threatens to bite them

Nimona and Ambrosius always refuse to let the ac get higher than 60 degrees and Bal suffers 

Bal should be classified as a damn reptile 

Poor baby has terrible circulation

It’s bad enough that Ambrosius has dragged him to the doctor multiple times 

He clings to Ambrosius and Nimona in the winter because this man is constantly freezing 

I just know he’s a damn menace the second it gets a little chilly

This little brat will shove his hands up Ambrosius’ shirt the second he gets home to “warm up”

And he’s got a metal hand so it’s twice as cold

Ambrosius has been woken up from a deep sleep by freezing hands or freezing feet and will whine about how it feels like waking up in an ice bath

One time Ambrosius walked into the living room to find Bal chasing Nimona around while they were screaming “Frosty the snowman is trying to kill me with his icicle hands” 

Ambrosius is weirdly good with all kids he’s been described multiple times as a “natural parent”

Does he like kids…. That’s up for debate 

Like he doesn’t hate them if their parents raised them right but if that kid is a little bully then fuck no he doesn’t like them 

Nimona is also really good with kids 

He’s a little cautious around elementary school kids cause you know trauma and has weird beef with all middle schoolers 

Bal is fucking terrified of babies 

One time someone asked him to hold their baby and then walked off and which sent him into a panic attack 

He’ll go on hour-long rants about how fragile are and how he can’t be trusted with something that can suffocate if you don’t lay them down the wrong way

He’s okay with elementary school kids and doesn’t mind middle schoolers but he has massive issues with highschoolers for some reason 

A high school once asked him to visit and give a talk to the students and Ambrosius had to take his laptop away before he emailed them back saying “I’d rather chop my other arm off”

Honestly I think even though Nimona craves stability she also needs freedom 

So every couple of weeks she’ll go on little solo adventures 

She keeps the boys updated constantly about where she is but she never tells them when she’s coming back because she doesn’t even know 

Most of the time she’ll come back when she wants a homecooked meal (and when she misses the boys)

The boys are pretty used to this routine so they aren’t surprised anymore when they come home to a note saying she’ll be gone for a bit

They also aren't surprised when he climes through their window at 2 in the morning to wake them up and demand food 

Could he make it himself? Absolutely 

Does he want to? Fuck no where’s the fun in that 

Plus he knows no matter how much the boys complain about messed up sleep schedules and how he “gave them a heart attack” they'd rather be woken up in the middle of the night so they can make sure he’s healthy and fed 

When they do come home the boys “force” them into a sleepover in the living room where they eat a stupid amount of junk food and watch old horror movies  

And they call out of work so they can catch up and learn everything that can't fit in a text

[harrywavycurly]

Sarah!! I’m just imagining one night reader and Eddie’s pillow talk after a long day with Dorothy or even when she was pregnant and I know reader sneaks in wanting cheese fries into the conversation 😂 I love them!!💕💕

Hiii babes!! I love this because you know their pillow talk is just so random especially when she was pregnant😂 so I hope you enjoy these little glimpses into what their late night convos are like!💖

-find all things It Was Just One Night here

“Jesus Christ why are your feet so fucking cold?” “I was too sleepy to put socks on…stop moving Eddie how am I supposed to shove them between yours if you keep wiggling away from me?” “That’s the point you can’t…just let me go get you some socks so we can both get comfortable.” “I’m perfectly content…” “yeah well it feels like I have actual ice cubes on my feet so I’m gonna-” “You’re ruining this moment you asshole just lay down and let me cuddle you.” “But…but your feet…are so fucking cold baby.” “Just lay down and you’ll forget all about my feet in a few minutes.” “How will I forget?…oh is this like…your way of saying we can do sexy stuff that’ll distract me from your glacier feet?” “Yeah…go get me some socks.”

“Did I tell you what Steve told me today when he came to drop off some snacks for me at work?” “Snacks? Baby I packed you a whole fucking lunch.” “So?…what’s lunch have to do with snacks? Oh hand me my chapstick please.” “Here…I guess…snacks and lunch don’t really have anything in common minus being food…but no what did Steve tell you?” “He said he has a date!” “He’s Steve…he always has a date.” “Don’t be an asshole Eddie he’s really excited about this one…wants me to meet her this weekend.” “He wants you to meet her?…Why?” “What do you mean why?” “Is he trying to scare her off?” “Edward James Munson what the fuck is wrong with you?” “Ouch you’re so violent before bed…I’m just saying We all remember what happened with the last girl he brought over…” “She tried to take a bite of my Mac and cheese…I was like eight months pregnant you can’t just try to take my food without me screaming or crying…” “yeah well you ended up doing both…” “I’m his bestfriend Eddie he just wants to get my opinion on her that’s all…” “and probably show off his uncle skills with Dotty…he knows girls melt at the sight of a man holding a baby.” “That’s true…you look dreamy holding Dotty.” “Do I really?” “Yes but do go getting all cocky about it…”

“Is that my shirt?” “No it’s mine.” “Baby…did you go into my dresser and steal another one of my shirts?” “No…I went into the closet and stole one of your shirts…they are perfect for sleeping and you sleep half naked so figured it’s fine.” “Yeah yeah it’s fine…can you uh..is it okay if we cuddle a little before bed? I’ve had a long day.” “We cuddle every night before bed…” “i mean uhm..like can..I uh-” “you wanna be the little spoon don’t you?” “Yes.” “Fine but only if you put your hair up so it’s not all in my face…you know I hate when it gets in my mouth.” “Of course…I love you.” “I love you too now come to momma…tell me all about your day.” “You know how I feel about you calling yourself momma in the bedroom.” “Oh right forgot no momma for me but daddy for you is allowed…that’s so rude.” “Don’t start with the daddy thing unless you’re in the mood to fool around….” “Did you use a new body wash? You smell like…lavender?” “I accidentally used the bed time baby wash we use for Dotty…I thought it was one of your fancy ones…” “it smells nice…god you’re so warm it’s like you’re my own space heater.” “Yeah we need to get your levels checked because it’s like frosty the fucking snowman is spooning me right now.” “At least I didn’t forget my socks this time.” “Thank god for that…”

“When did you know you were in love with me?” “What?” “When did you realize you were in love with me? I mean it took you months to even ask me on a date so I’m just curious.” “Oh uh well…I kinda knew the moment I saw you shove a whole chicken nugget into your mouth and wash it down with a milkshake after we bought Dotty’s crib….I just looked at you and thought…yeah…that’s her…she’s the one.” “What the fuck Eddie that was like a whole month before my baby shower.” “Yeah…I know…but I didn’t wanna freak you out so I figured a date first would be smart.” “For me it was when you came to pick me up from lovers lake at like three in the morning because my car wouldn’t start…that’s when I kinda started seeing you as someone I could actually enjoy being around.” “That’s the first time I stayed the night with you.” “I know…I just enjoyed you being around and when I woke up and you were still there it just…meant a lot to me.” “I’ll always be here…I’m not going anywhere.” “I know…” “I love you…I’d marry you if you’d stop telling me no.” “I love you too…I know you would…but I’m never gonna say yes…sorry.” “It’s fine baby…I’m never gonna stop asking….ya know just incase you change your mind.”

[serickswrites]

Frosty the Snowman

Warnings: explosion, head injury, blood, wounds, impalement, unconsciousness

"Look out!" Whumpee's words were nearly drowned out by the sounds of the explosion and the roar of the fire ripping through the building.

Caretaker didn't have time to react before they were shoved out of the way, the force of the explosion throwing them to the ground. They groaned as their head bounced off the wooden porch step. "Fuck," they moaned as they lay in the snow, taking stock of their injuries. Their head hurt, but overall, they felt relatively ok.

"Whumpee?" They called out weakly. With their head hurting this much and the light hurting their eyes, they knew that they needed an ambulance and Whumpee would need to call for one. They definitely had a concussion.

"Whumpee?" Caretaker tried again after a few moments of silence. Maybe their words got drowned out by the roar of the fire ripping through the remnants of Whumper's cottage. Whumper had been long gone by the time Whumpee and Caretaker had arrived. But they had rigged an explosion to go off the moment someone opened the door. "Whumpee?"

But still, Whumpee didn't reply. Caretaker rolled onto their side with a groan. The world spun around them quickly and they shut their eyes to fight off the nausea. Where was Whumpee and why weren't they answering Caretaker? "Whumpee!" Caretaker called a little louder. "This is no time to be running off. I need your help!"

Caretaker finally managed to sit up without another wave of nausea hitting them. They opened their eyes and looked around to see where Whumpee had run off to. Their mouth went dry as they saw Whumpee. Whumpee was sprawled on their back in the rapidly growing red snow. An icicle from the roof of the cottage had pierced their left side and stuck out from their torso like an exclamation point.

"Whumpee!" Caretaker crawled towards them. "Say something, Whumpee."

Whumpee had shoved them out of the way. Had shoved them out of the way from the falling icicle and had been impaled by the one that would have very likely killed Caretaker. This was their fault. "Whumpee!"

Caretaker ignored the bile creeping up their throat, reasoning that it was nausea from their head injury and not the fear that Whumpee had died in their stead. "Please, please, please," Caretaker whispered as they reached Whumpee.

Whumpee's chest rose and fell weakly, a soft wheeze sounding with each breath. "Hold on, Whumpee, hold on," Caretaker said as they palmed for their phone in their pocket. "Hold on," they repeated as they called 911. They knew they shouldn't remove the icicle, but beyond that, they didn't know what to do to keep Whumpee alive until EMS arrived.

"Please, just hold on for me, Whumpee, hold on."

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

@pepeniascat

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 5 Prompt: Grinch vs Christmas Cheer

Tags: Modern AU, Eddie Munson & Jeff, Steve & Eddie Are Neighbors, Teacher Steve, Meet Cute

wc: 1863 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

“I thought you said you talked to them?” Eddie groans. He tips his head so far back he wobbles in the chair for a moment before he rights himself and buries his head in his hands. “I can’t work under these conditions!” 

“I don’t think planning a campaign counts as working,” Jeff teases. 

They’re in their apartment kitchen. Jeff cooking something that smells a hundred times better than the vending machine sandwich he had for lunch at the shop. Free from his day job, Eddie’s working on something he actually cares about now. The latest Dungeons & Dragons handbook is open to a random page while his trusty notebook sits open. There’s no use in hiding it from Jeff. It’s not like he could decipher Eddie’s chicken scratch penmanship anyway.

Besides, he hasn’t gotten much of anything done since he plopped down on the worn leather chair. It’s hard to work with the blaring sound of Mariah fucking Carey’s Christmas album playing on repeat for the third day straight coming from their neighbor's apartment. The obnoxious whirling of the fans keeping a dozen or so Christmas inflatables blown up on their shared stairwell and balcony also doesn’t help. 

If this continues any longer, Eddie swears he’s going to find them a new place to live. The peace and quiet would be worth losing out on their rent-controlled place. At least, Eddie thinks so. Christ, he misses the Richards who moved last year. He’d take their scowls and snide comments over this Christmas madness any day. 

“It absolutely counts as working,” Eddie scoffs, shooting a glare in Jeff’s direction. “And don’t change the subject, Jefferson. Did you even talk to Mr. and Mrs. Claus next door?”

Jeff snorts, shaking his head before returning to the pot of sauce he has simmering.  “No, I didn’t and I’m not going to.” 

“Jeff!” Eddie whines. “Your job as the approachable one of this house is to confront our neighbors when they’re annoying us.” 

“Okay, but they’re not annoying me.” 

“Well, that’s a lie. You hate Michael Buble as much as I do and I know you heard his stupid crooning voice at seven this morning like I did.”

“Okay, you’ve got me there,” Jeff sighs, turning away from the stove to face Eddie. “But I can’t tell them to lower their music! Not when they haven’t complained once about the shit you blare at all hours of the night or our Corroded practices when we have nowhere else to go.” 

If Eddie was less stubborn, maybe he’d see that Jeff has a point. But he is stubborn, so he doubles down instead. 

“That’s different.” 

“It’s really not.” 

“Fine,” Eddie shouts, throwing his hands up in defeat. The headache festering behind is eyes is too painful for him to keep arguing with Jeff. Besides, he’s never been able to push Jeff around. It’s why they make such good roommates. “Can you at least talk to them about their decorating habits then? I had to wade through a fucking forest of inflatables this afternoon. M’pretty sure Frosty the fucking Snowman almost punched my balls.” 

“Eds, need I remind you that a few days ago you had the entire place decked out for Halloween? How is a few inflatables different than all those skeletons and demon shit you had up?” 

“First of all, how dare you compare my artistry to whatever is going on outside,” Eddie scoffs. He’s going to give himself a sore throat if he keeps this up. “I have taste. My decorations told a story! Those inflatables aren’t even from the same properties. They’ve got Santa Mickey next to the fucking Grinch! Charlie Brown mingling with Yoda! There’s no plot!” 

Jeff’s shoulders slump, forearms coming to rest on the kitchen counter so he’s at eye level with Eddie. “Just look on the bright side. At least they haven’t done one of those obnoxious light shows like that stupid reality show.”

As if Jeff accidentally summoned a demon in the form of Christmas cheer, a burst of red and green floods their apartment. Their once dimly lit kitchen looks like the inside of a club, red and green lights flickering with the occasional white and blue mixed in. The flickers are timed with the beat of another Mariah Carey Christmas song. 

This is what hell must look like, Eddie thinks, as he glares at Jeff. 

“What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jeff defends, hands up in surrender. 

Eddie can seem him struggling not to laugh and it takes all the energy he can muster not to reach around the counter and playfully punch his shoulder. How can Jeff think this is funny? The flickering lights completely goes against their moody aesthetic! Not to mention it’s a health hazard! There’s no way Gareth is going to be able to come over here — not with the way he’s so sensitive to strobes. 

Jesus H. Christ and it’s only November 25th! He has to put up with this for weeks! 

“It’s not funny, Jefferson!” 

“I mean,” Jeff snorts, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his smile from growing. “It’s a little funny.” 

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The lights have not fucking stopped. Not for one single day. Eddie had hoped his neighbors would have grown tired of the constant strobing and Christmas music by now. But nope. A week and a half and its still going strong. 

He’s going to lose his goddamn mind. 

“Jeff,” Eddie hisses, lifting the blanket of his makeshift fort enough that he can make eye contact with Jeff. Or at least, try to. Jeff’s perched in their recliner with the biggest pair of sunglasses Eddie’s ever seen. “Please. I can’t take much more of this!” 

“It’s not that bad.” 

“I might have believed you if you weren’t wearing those ridiculous things,” Eddie snorts. He waits for Jeff to retort but when he doesn’t, he groans and slowly emerges from the safety of his blanket fort. Christ he forgot how bright those damn things are. 

Stalking over to their small entryway, Eddie hastily tugs on a pair of boots and reaches for the doorknob. 

“What are you doing?” Jeff asks, voice laden with concern. 

“Someone has to confront the neighbors!” 

He doesn't give him time to respond, yanking the door open and slamming it shut behind him in one fluid movement. It should be a short trip to the neighbor's front door, just a few long strides, but Eddie forgets to account for the fuckton of inflatables cluttering the path. He ducks around Frosty, flipping him off when his stupid wood arms nearly deck his balls, again and forcibly shoves Mickey’s face away from him. 

It takes another bit of carefully navigating before he finally reaches the front door adorned with a festive wreath. These people really left no spot undecorated. Eddie doesn’t spare them the decency of a nice, neighborly knock or ring of the doorbell. They’re way past that. Instead, he makes a fist and slams his knuckles into the wood door, and keeps going. Knock. Knock. Knockknockknock. 

They probably can’t hear him over the damn music, Eddie thinks, as his knuckle turns redder and redder. Just when he’s about to retreat and face Jeff’s smug wrath, the door opens. 

The first thought that passes through Eddie’s mind is oh, he’s hot. The second, more vital thought, comes a moment later. He’s going to kill Jeff. How dare he not disclose how attractive this guy is the minute he met him months ago? 

The guy, who Eddie vaguely thinks is named Steve, looks just as surprised to see him as he is. Decked out in an obnoxious Santa-themed apron and green plaid flannel pants, his cheeks are spotted with flour and his hands are stained a faint red color. Judging from the delicious aroma of vanilla and peanut butter wafting into the hallway, Eddie interrupted some very serious baking. 

“Oh, you’re not the Instacart shopper,” maybe Steve frowns. “Can I help you?” 

“Oh, uh,” Eddie trails off. He’s here for a reason, he knows this, but his mind is blank. Distracted by the smells and the lights and the gorgeous fucking man standing in front of him with hazel eyes so sparkly Eddie’s pretty sure he belongs in a cartoon. “I’m Eddie, your neighbor.” 

I’m Eddie, your neighbor? 

This cannot be the same brain that creates intricate, plot twist-ridden campaigns that last months. Absolutely not.

“Ah, so you’re Jeff’s roommate! It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Steve.” 

“Right, Steve” Eddie nods. He’s not sure why he nods, it’s not a normal thing to do when you meet someone, and yet, he can’t stop nodding. Stop fucking nodding! 

“So, uh, what brings you by?” Steve asks, casually leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh, I uh…” The lights. You were coming here to complain about the lights! “I came to tell you, uh… I could smell you baking!” Oh my fucking god. “You know these walls are thin and we, uh, share AC vents or something I think? So the smell was filling our place and it smelled so good I just, uh, had to come over and see what you’re baking?” 

If Jeff was here, Eddie’s pretty sure he’d be two seconds away from collapsing in a fit of laughter. Thank god he’s not. As soon as he gets back to his room, he’s going to take a lukewarm shower and try to forget this entire interaction ever happened and then hide from Steve for the rest of his life. 

“Oh, I’m making peanut butter cookies.” Steve’s smile is almost as blinding as the twinkling lights and like a moth to a flame, Eddie can’t look away. “One of my students has been having a rough time and they’re their favorite.”

“Damn, maybe if I had a teacher who baked me cookies I would have done better in school.” 

Steve laughs, “Tell me about it. Actually, uh, do you want to help? I’m allergic to peanut butter and my best friend is tied up at work. I could really use a taste tester. Make sure they’re edible.” 

“Oh, uh…” Eddie glances over his shoulder and takes in the sight of the sea of inflatables staring at him with their beady painted on eyes, squints at the obnoxious flashing lights keeping time to a terrible cover of “Jingle Bell Rock.” Together it’s the reminder he needs as to why he trekked over here in the first place, but when he turns he’s hit with a punch of peanut butter and well… “Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty good taste tester.” 

“Perfect,” Steve smiles, pushing himself off the doorframe. “Kitchen’s this way.” 

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Eddie returns an hour later. Belly full of joy just peanut butter cookies, but also chocolate chip, and gingerbread, and some cinnamon concoction that had him considering a marriage proposal on the spot and a tupperware overflowing with said cookies. 

Jeff is still in the living room, sunglasses shielding his eyes, but Eddie knows him well enough to know he’s judging him. 

“Don’t say a word,” Eddie sneers, heading straight for the kitchen.