#and i felt the same way
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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He's just a gunky goopy lil guy
#qsmp#slimecicle#bobby qsmp#gegg#animation#lil animation before doomsday cause that conversation with bobby the other night GUTTED me guys#somethin anout slime having to so rapidly change the way he saw bobby (only a few seconds ago at that) and finally getting#some of that understanding and forgiveness he needs from someone who also knew tilin and blamed him for their death#and it coming from bobby#most violent kid on the server /aff#who he was talking about killing just a few seconds prior and who had the same outlook of blaming slime for tilins death as slime himself#REALLY gets to me#also bobby who's afraid of what might happen to him in the next few days#AAGHHHHHHHH#THEY BOTH LOVED TILINNNNN#(and both felt guilty)#my art#gif#(I think he was just trying to be a good uncle and messed up)#(I really hope you make it B)#(tell slime to feel free to go back to being himself)#(you're a good egg bobby)#<- looking at these line specifically#also the way charlie gets all quiet after he realizes bobby's talking about tilin#charlies conversations with leo and bobby as gegg both really got me#:(((((((
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6
13 or so days and it's finished!
Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after
Unedited it looks like this
I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also
A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines
I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)
I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year
#fanart#my art#isat#isat fanart#in stars and time#isat loop#loop#traditional art#artists on tumblr#Phew#So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game#I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment#This type of art is my therapy#And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything#It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here#Like special guests#In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something#Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like#'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda#Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better#I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit#And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out#Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL#SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping#Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now#Touching grass as we speak#Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind to draw it nowww
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One thing I've been asked a few times: Did the mountain happen for bear!Jaskier?
It did, but Jaskier stood his ground! And not with 'Burn Butcher, burn' afterwards.
#jaskier#geraskier#geralt of rivia#the witcher#song: the ballad of lucy gray baird#bear!jaskier#witcher!jaskier#Jaskier is not taking that much shit from Geralt! their relationship is different here#(since this is already an established relationship)#but also because Jaskier is older and more experienced#(it still hurts tho)#but I think it does change things in their relationship that in this 'verse Jaskier experiences time in the same way that Geralt does#I think human Jaskier felt the weight of the years he spent at Geralts side much more in this scene#and the unrequited feelings!#(S3 Jaskier can shut his lying liar mouth he was definitely in love at this point look at what he says but then what he SINGS how he acts!!#but since this is an established relationship - the drop is not THAT bad#Jaskier is more resigned than anything else#geralt is hard nut to crack emotionally
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will u please teach him about the horrors.
Ok.
#I apologize for the crimes I've commited#I genuinely felt I committed a grave sin by drawing that second picture.#I love doing those types of drawings but at the same time I feel like I end up making them way too disturbing#my art#horror#just horror#mouse#rat#shrew#art#artwork#digital art#Succumbing to the horrors!#I apologize your son doesn't deserve this
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Dear Bonnie, I’m a coward. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter, but I know if I do you’ll talk me out of running away from all my problems. You’re gonna make me face a future without Elena and you’re gonna help make me the best man I could possibly be, the same way she did. And I’m absolutely terrified of failing you both. So, I’m leaving. Because I’d rather let you down once, than let you down for the rest of your life. And I hope it’s the happiest life. Because you, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman, a mediocre crossword puzzle player and my best friend.
With great love and respect, Damon.
#the vampire diaries#tvd#damon salvatore#bonnie bennett#bamon#otp: my best friend#gifs#thevampirediariesedit#tvdedit#damonsalvatoreedit#bonniebennettedit#bamonedit#useramys12#tuserbelovas#tusercatherine#userjustine#tumblrusercherry#userishh#usermegara#useroli#tvdversegifs#kat graham#ian somerhalder#thinking about that elena quote about them ‘i think he actually kind of loves her. you’re mean to the people you care about.’#and going crazy cause it really fits that emma theme of arguing with the people you love.#in these gifs and just in general when bonnie’s showing affection towards damon he can never really hold her gaze for too long. he looks#so full of love but also so unsure at the same time. he’s too overwhelmed by their connection that he can’t fully speak it or face it.#they're such a perfect mirror to steroline that way. like stefan says: 'maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and i#have experienced it but... i think this could turn into something even better.' damon's never felt this kind of love before and he doesn't#know what to DO with it! meanwhile bonnie's so confident in it always looking at him head on never breaking her gaze– UGH! they're perfect.
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The first time disciple Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu meets Liu Qingge, it is during a Bai Zhan peak raid. And what ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu gets kicked in the jaw with such force he feels his teeth clack together unpleasantly. And frustrated with his situation, the system, and quite frankly a ton of other little things that have been building up over the course of the last few weeks, he feels something snap in the back of his mind like that of a rubber band after being stretched too far.
What ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu turns and locks onto the very first figure he can see that is dressed in grey-and-white like a homing missile, and then with the force of a twin-tailed mountain tiger, lunges towards said figure with an equally menacing snarl.
He ends up taking the Bai Zhan peak disciple by utter surprise, and they both collide into the ground in a tangle of angry yelling and limbs. What ends up happening is that Liu Qingge gets the subsequent wind knocked out of him and pinned into the dirt by a Qing Jing peak disciple who is filled with the might and fury of a scholar having their peaceful afternoon interrupted and a once-grown-man re-experiencing puberty.
It is with that might and fury that Liu Qingge meets the wild, frenzied eyes of Shen Qingqiu, with his lips pulled back into a truly ferocious scowl. Shen Qingqiu hisses out, with such force it makes his voice rasp, as if he might as well sink his teeth into Liu Qingge's throat and rip it out; "Get the fuck off my mountain."
Liu Qingge is so shocked by -- well, quite a many things, but most importantly the fact that he has been pinned, and the way the sun is bouncing off this boy's face, -- that his brain needs five seconds to reboot. It's five seconds too long, because by the time he registers what just happened, Shen Yuan has clambered off him and disappeared. Gone and thrown himself into the closest dust cloud scuffling in order to unleash the rest of his fury on the other Bai Zhan Peak kids.
Qing Jing Peak experiences an unfortunate uptick in Bai Zhan disciple visits -- specifically of the Liu Qingge variety. Specifically Liu Qingge, actually. Who very much wants to find the boy that managed to get one over on him and demand a rematch. (Or maybe kiss him.)
#*stares at sy* i still think he deserves to go a little feral. as a treat. like. just a small snapping. not a big one. just a lil one#svsss#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#svsss au#shen qingqiu#liushen#shen yuan#he has a lot of restraint. lets break it! *said in the same tone as that angsty teenager ai voice from sister location*#me: do i call him shen yuan or shen qingqiu??? he is technically sqq but a lot of the disciple aus i see call him shen yuan....#me: fuck it i'm sticking with SQQ. they're both technically the same thing as far as im aware#this idea sprang into my mind like the mulan hun daisies. and i felt the need to write it down. this is so going in my disciple sy fic#shen yuan has a lot of restraint :) what better way to let loose all that pent up aggression than a bai zhan peak raid! he's kinda looking#forward to the next one. that was actually pretty cathartic. :) BZP disciples feel a sudden shiver crawling down their backs#the increase of bai zhan visits qian cao peak gets from bite-related injuries is in no way related to this decision. none at all.#sqq covered in bruises and scrapes: woo! that was actually kinda cathartic. i feel much better now after that. and a little guilty#meanwhile lqg: *going through a gay awakening* i.-- ??? boys? ???? boy? boy. mhm.#sqq usually avoids getting swept into fights during BZP raids. not this time! and now bzp is going to Pay For It Dearly.
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creeping shadows, rising smoke
the kremy wallpaper is done! @szaryherbatnik gave me the idea in the first place <33 (like. a month ago….better late than never?) click for higher quality; speedpaint beneath the cut
#FELLOW KREMY NATIONERS (szare especially. of course) THIS IS FOR YALL#more kremy content <33#drawing him is one of my favorite things ever#im surprised this took 1h45m???#it felt so much longer#probably because my first attempt (only got to the grayscale sketch phase; 46m) spanned many many days (way too many..)#i only now realized that. my other rendered piece of kremy has the same overall vibe/color scheme…….#i actually went back to check the other one and#damn#the way i draw kremy has evolved so much in like five weeks??#much happier with it now#ramble over thank you for reading thus far <33#kremy nation#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#kremy lecroux#ouaw#my art#ouaw fanart#illustration
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It's been so fascinating to see how strongly people react to Toshiro in Dungeon Meshi. When I first read that scene I didn't feel hurt by Toshiro's rejection of Laois at all, I was more shocked at Laios raising a hand to him in anger because Laios had always felt like a man free from such anger and aggression. Although it was very powerful to see that Laios was capable of feeling such a way. I felt the scene was very emotionally charged and an important moment for both characters.
So when I started hearing about how hurt other people were at seeing Toshiro lash out in frustration towards Laios, and seeing people express discomfort towards Toshiro I was surprised but not confused. Honestly I was more surprised at myself for not having a similar reaction because I have also been subject to being led on in "friendships" that the other person secretly despised (or at least did NOT feel the same). It can be very hurtful to discover that someone has built a resentment towards you but never made any attempt to clear the air with you until a point of crisis.
I am autistic and I struggle a lot with relationships but in this instance I didn't see myself in Laios' shoes (although I have been there) instead I found myself relating to Toshiro. A man trapped by social expectations, rigid rules of engagement hammered into him from a young age, only to discover that there is someone who does not follow these rules at all. Even more bizarrely they seem completely free from any of the consequences that would befall Toshiro if he ever deviated from his carefully cultivated mask.
I can say from experience it is confronting to try and unpack your own high masking trauma while also feeling compelled to support the low masking autistic person in your life. Even if the other person means no ill will and has not truly done anything wrong, having them unknowingly walk all over you can be enough to push you to a breaking point. There is an intense frustration that comes with seeing someone else get away with not following the social rules you have beaten yourself painfully into shape to fit.
Yes Toshiro could have chosen any moment to correct Laios on his name, or clarify his discomfort or his personal boundaries, but that is operating under the assumption that Toshiro feels safe enough to do so. He is a stranger in a strange land, and often in that position it is a safer choice to subject yourself to a level of discomfort simply to keep the general peace. Where my fellow high maskers at? We make biting our tongue a fucking art.
#Could Toshiro have approached the topic in a more gentle manner? Yes#But in that vein Laios could have checked in with Toshiro and made sure he got his name right or that he also felt the same way etc#thats the beauty of this story#no one is right or wrong theyre just people#and despite their differences they do have a level of respect for one another#god I love#Dungeon Meshi#shuro#toshiro dungeon meshi#laios dungeon meshi#laios touden#DONT even get me started on Kabru hes got me in even more of a chokehold than these two
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as much as I love history and Chicago history especially, I do sometimes forget how recent everything here is. I was at the Hull House Museum with a friend of mine the other day, and we had a wonderful time listening to the curator talk about the birth of social work, the women who drove it forward, and the ghost stories that haunt their stomping grounds despite no one really dying there.
As we were walking around after the tour, my friend pointed out that Jane Addams' dress (the one on display in that room, black and small and otherwise unremarkable) had an uneven hem. "Oh, good eye!" the curator, who was walking alongside us, exclaimed. "Addams' tuberculosis left her with some spinal curvature, even after corrective surgery. She had most of her dresses altered to ensure the hem would be straight when she wore them---but on a standard dress form, the hem looks uneven."
"I always forget that having a tailor or dressmaker was considered typical back then," I said.
"No, by that point it was much more common to buy a dress from Sears and have it altered," the curator replied cheerfully. "That's what Addams did."
The whole exchange was maybe a few seconds, but it sticks with me even now. The idea that Jane Addams bought a dress from Sears---where I have also bought dresses, where my mother bought dresses---makes me feel insane. And yet, we're only talking about a hundred years ago or so. Is it so unreasonable that I, as a disaffected teen, was drifting through racks of mass-produced garments, just as Jane Addams did a century before? The exact location of the hands making those garments has changed of course; the workers' protections that Addams' contemporaries fought for have resulted in offshoring that work to less-guarded parts of the world. But it gives me a strange sort of fellow feeling to think about it, all these many decades later.
#sears went belly-up in the last 20 years but it was a staple of my childhood. a truly wild coincidence.#I also felt the same little jolt of shock when the curator said that addams worked closely with florence kelley#who earned her law degree from northwestern; and alice hamilton who got her MD from U of M#like excuse me? those are places that currently exist. those are places I could earn a JD or MD from.#that said hull house is an incredible achievement. truly. I think of how much had to happen operationally and financially#to make it viable? the number of people involved both there and in the neighborhood? I get dizzy.#.......on a less serious note I have to believe that the relationship drama happening there must have been INSANE.#there's no way you can put that many passionate over-educated reformer lesbians in a room and not have fireworks.#city of the big shoulders
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so you know how when redeemed durge rejects bhaal withers shows up and basically tells their dad to fuck off because thats his kid now. i have a lot of thoughts about the dark urge and all of them are emotionally devastating but anyway. do you guys think astarion saw that and felt some horrible kind of numb, resigned jealousy because years ago he desperately prayed to every one of the gods to free him from cazador and got no answer— then this bhaalspawn haunted by the narrative turns up and Fucking Jergal intervenes just to save their life and flips both ao and bhaal the bird at the same time. because ive been thinking about that ever since my durge run and i need to inflict that pain on everybody else now.
#i think act 3 spawn astarion is far removed enough from act 1 astarion that he like#he probably wouldnt react in any sort of volatile or spiteful way#but i do think hed watch that happen and feel that same numbness he felt after he killed cazador#if it wasnt clear enough i think about that party banter btwn him and gale outside the stormshore tabernacle Every day#he makes me so fucking sad#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion angst#character study#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate iii#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#dark urge#withers#jergal
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Something about the fact that these shots are all grouped together, one after another, visually giving them equal weight just gets me. The narrative knows what's going to happen between JGY and Huaisang at this point, knows how it's going to treat JGY at the end of everything. And it still takes time to show Meng Yao instinctively and immediately going in front of Huaisang and Huaisang instinctively and immediately hiding behind him. It takes the time--literally, showed it in the background and focused on it with the same general amount of time as the other shots--to show that this act of protection and trust are just as real and true as Jiang Cheng defending his sister, as Wen Qing defending her younger brother.
Like, I dunno! There are other Nie juniors there! They have swords and shit! Huaisang could have gone and hid behind the wall, but he hid behind Meng Yao! And Meng Yao could have moved back with Huaisang, but he steps directly in front of him!
There's a lot CQL did to JGY's character and narrative that I don't like and that flatten or just straight up erase his full complexity. But I really appreciate the lengths that it went to in Episode 4 to explicitly tell us that he does not hesitate to protect Huaisang, even though at this point he does not have a sword and definitely does not have anywhere near the same cultivation power (if any) as any of the rest of the people in the room.
Right now, after being publicly humiliated, unarmed and definitely outclassed, he is brave. Along with the rest of the characters, he's allowed to be uncomplicatedly young and loyal and just as innocent as any of the other students there.
#Besides Wen Chao fuck u bud#Honestly I think that along with Xichen Huaisang is the other person he legitimately never considered hurting#(In the same way that he didn't consider killing Mingjue hurting them but I digress)#With Xichen I think there were plenty of times were he came to the conclusion that fucking him over or overtly manipulating him#in a disadvantageous way would benefit himself and he actively decided that he would not do that#Whereas with Huaisang I just get the impression that it never occurred to him to do that#And I'm not saying that was ALWAYS out of the goodness of his heart#I think he genuinely didn't think he would get anything out of taking advantage of Huaisang personally or politically#Which is not the most ringing of endorsement next to 'I knew I could and chose not to'#But it wasn't ALWAYS that#for a man who has to constantly be on guard and look for leverage in every single interaction and aspect of his life#I think it's pretty significant that he let Huaisang in so close that he was shocked when he found a metaphorical sword in his chest#along with the physical one#Because in never trying to hurt him he never felt he had to defend against him#He loved him. They both loved each other :(#Also him finding Huaisang's bird antics so genuinely amusing in the background of this ep is just 😭#jgy#nhs#my stuff#jgy meta#nhs meta#text
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Fell asleep before I could post it here
Stressful week defeated with a result of me forgetting how to draw Siffrin before I sketched again
Too focused to keep a hold on it in a way
So there was this, which I prefer with a neutral-sad face instead
Like this but I thought it was a bit too... That
After that I've redrew an expression from that one scene. Just because Ost said "Here you go "Do You Remember? (Our Country)" time!"
Same thing is why Mal Du Pays are here
#fanart#my art#isat spoilers#isat#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat mal du pays#Also a starry hat exists now#I love their terrified expression#And I finally got to sketch Mal Du Pays in digital#Anyway I've passed the hard exam#And most of the other exams too which is great#But that took full control of my luck from me#Which is really like a super power in a way#I got the same questions for exam twice by pure luck of choosing the one I wanted and felt right#But when stuff you have no control over happens when you want it that's truly a good luck day#Which was yesterday today is neutral in that I think#I'm super tired because I was sketching until 8 am#in stars and time#act 5 spoilers#act 3 spoilers#I had to double remember that one because I wasn't sure#Anyway good morning and good night depending on when in the timezone are you#It's 11 am#sketch#artists on tumblr
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You do get the sense that the fallout of Roger's death and the Roger pirates disbanding not so much traumatized Buggy and Shanks indifferent ways but instead generated such drastically different reactions to the trauma.
While the trauma of everything seemed to push Shanks into the future, always constantly waiting for something, putting plans on hold and then later in place, for this great moment, this great coming that he sees on the Horizon. For Buggy it rooted him firmly in the past keeping him trapped in this grief masquerading as anger.
While Roger's death forced Shanks to grow up fast, it kind of arrested Buggy's development keeping him stuck in those same feelings, rooted int that same place.
You get the sense that Buggy's whole east blue schtick is just one long overdue rebellious phase one big fuck you to Roger and his ideals. He's rebelling against Roger's principles. One of their rules was don't steal from innocent people and Buggy was keeping a whole town in poverty. If Roger and Luffy's pirating styles are diametrically opposed to someone like Blackbeard, who might be the most literal pirate in the entire series, then buggy is the parody of that Blackbeard piratism. He is playing up cruelty, being the most piratey pirate possible, hell he's literally a clown on a stage. It's all a show! It's his own special way of trying to "get back at Roger" of trying to discard everything Roger taught him for this overacted, over exaggerated clownish cruelty. Mentally he never left that execution square. He is still 15, alone and scared.
Hell he literally never left either, while I'm pretty sure Shanks' booked it out of the east blue as fast as he could, Buggy never lef, might have never left, if not for Luffy. It's part of why Luffy bothers him so much, he's just like Roger everything that Buggy is trying hard to forget and here comes this kid, whose never even met the Captain but is wearing his hat, shoving it right back in his face.
It makes sense that he never leaves the east blue till Luffy literally forces him out of it (fucking with Luffy gets him captured and imprisoned) and it makes sense that it's Luffy that literally breaks him out of prison, literally sets him free, and on the path to greatness that maybe he was always meant to achieve (even if he trips his way into it). This boy that is tragically so much like his old captain but so beautifully unabashedly himself, is what Buggy needs to start letting go off the past, to start trying to move forward.
Maybe that's why Buggy, at what could arguably be described as his lowest moment, gets the strength to free himself from his own self imprisonment, realizing that even back then he was locking himself away and pinning his own dreams on Shanks. And, maybe for the first time ever, Buggy really own his dream. He declares to his tormentors and his crew and the entire world that; actually He wants to find the one piece, him, as captain of his own crew, this crew, not just a part of someone else's. That's his dream and he's willing to turn the world upside down to do it.
#Buggy for Pirate king 2024#I can't lie I believe that he might actually do it. It might be just for the bit and just for a few seconds but he'll do it!#No where else for him to trip up too#I think it's great that yeah Luffy liberates kingdoms in all these big ways#but from the beginning of the story in all these little ways he's been setting people free and in his own little way he set Buggy free too#my favorite thing recently has been dissecting all the ways in which how the roger pirating handling of everything ruined these boys lives#honestly not just them judging from what we've seen it's the whole crew cause Rayleigh's defiantly not doing okay#Buggy has such middle child syndrome despite being the exact same age as Shanks and not having a younger sibling#like of course he was going to feel like he had to fall under Shanks Shanks probably felt chosen by god it's hard not to feel second to tha#This feels more like a collection of thoughts than the cohesive essay I was going for#but I guess that's what happens when you literally only have a collection of thoughs#It took me a while but I actually fuck with the star clown#buggy the star clown#buggy pirates#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#one piece analysis#character analysis#shanks#red haired shanks#cross guild#roger pirates#gol d. roger#monkey d. luffy#buggy#shanks and buggy#one piece#one piece thoughts#one piece meta#op
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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans advice#got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me#my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves#this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae
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