#it felt so much longer
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creeping shadows, rising smoke
the kremy wallpaper is done! @szaryherbatnik gave me the idea in the first place <33 (like. a month ago….better late than never?) click for higher quality; speedpaint beneath the cut
#FELLOW KREMY NATIONERS (szare especially. of course) THIS IS FOR YALL#more kremy content <33#drawing him is one of my favorite things ever#im surprised this took 1h45m???#it felt so much longer#probably because my first attempt (only got to the grayscale sketch phase; 46m) spanned many many days (way too many..)#i only now realized that. my other rendered piece of kremy has the same overall vibe/color scheme…….#i actually went back to check the other one and#damn#the way i draw kremy has evolved so much in like five weeks??#much happier with it now#ramble over thank you for reading thus far <33#kremy nation#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#kremy lecroux#ouaw#my art#ouaw fanart#illustration
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Wanting to leave the council (and Mel) at the drop of a hat because he realised his place is in the lab (and with Viktor), but realising just too late and loosing him in the process due to the repercussions of not choosing him earlier (what happened with Skye and his night with Mel). Jayce Talis the bisexual disaster you are.
#seriously that whole part felt like it was him choosing between the two#and choosing the right person at the wrong time#and being clearly still distraught after it still sleeping in the lab next to Vik’s cocoon#like he cares for both of them so much but is conflicted#this man is the true disaster bi and I cannot be convinced otherwise#affection held them together but Jay only realised this after Vik no longer felt it due to the augmentations#I’m completely normal about these two why do you ask#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce league of legends#jayce lol#jayce x mel#jayce x viktor#viktor#viktor arcane#viktor league of legends#viktor lol#arcane viktor#machine herald#jayvik#mel arcane#arcane mel#mel medarda#rach rambles
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oh would you look at that
part 1!
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava tco#ava tsc#ava red#ava blue#ava yellow#ava green#aaaand thats all my post s3 thoughts let out!#iiiiii think#yeah thats it ? yeah#cho's slept for a day in this context by the way#ive heard stuff about the sticks percieving time longer than humans i think??#pretty sure its a headcanon other people have but either way i find it very interesting!#so with that in mind i think tco's 1 day “”coma“” probably felt like 942894 months for the cg idk i may be overshotting that#at least tco is okay now! yeah ...i say as i plan another angst comic with tco in itWOAH im talking too much i mean who said th#lilacsart
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Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
#genshin impact#furina#clorinde#furinde#furina's character story 5 and her voicelines about clorinde has left me so mentally ill in the head#THE WAY FURINA FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER WANTED AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CLORINDE POPPED UP TO INVITE HER TO A LIL GATHERING AMONG FRIENDS#NOT TO MENTION THAT CLORINDE IMMEDIATELY OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER TO HAVE BETTER LIVING CONDITIONS#EVEN WHEN DECLINED SHE STILL HELPED FURINA TIDY UP HER NEW APARTMENT BEFORE THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS TOGETHER#the way clorinde was no longer bound to any sort of contract but still went to visit furina and help her out of her own volition is so?????#AND the fact that little miss stonefaced 24/7 clorinde actually SMILED at furina???? chewing on aluminum foil#oughhhh they scratch at my brain so nicely#ALSO!! ALSO!! THE LONGING IN FURINA'S VOICE WHEN SHE SAYS HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTS CLORINDE AND MISSES HER IS SO!!!!!!!!!#crawling on the walls and howling as we speak#4.2 had made me already so deranged about furina to the point where she shot up from being just a funky lil guy to straight hyperfixation#I just thinjk;;;;;;; she deserves to be happy for once in her life (and have her lil emotional support bodyguard gf w/ her to smooch)
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Your reflection, your bitter deception / Setting you free A Series of Small Offerings - IV/6 - day38
#not the most original thing ever but i had this idea of escaping your self through a mirror as it shatters#because your reflection no longer exists so cannot hold you back or something#i don't know it wasn't really a fleshed out idea just somehow made sense in my head for the lyrics#a series of small offerings#man i missed putting that tag under posts so much#i know it is a bit sloppy but i don't care it felt good to do it#sleep token#sleep token fanart#vessel fanart#levynn tries to draw#vessel#vessel i#sleep token i#i sleep token
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🤔 Admittedly I was a little disappointed by the reveal (but certainly not surprised the foreshadowing was heavy in this episode lol), but not actually against how Beth (and Will) seem to be playing with it thus far- which is to say that I do think it has a lot of potential, and I suspect there's more to what we're seeing).
;) Big ol' ramble below
Mostly the theory has turned me off until now (at least insofar as I've witnessed it transpire in the fandom at large) because it struck me as so painfully ironic to see Trudy, a 1950s housewife, struggle to exist under the system that she's in, fail to fit the mold assigned to her, and be denied her personhood very literally for it (this being ironic insofar as how it mimics how she would have been treated back then). This and because frankly I just think she's a lot less interesting if she's fully a robot LOL, but I'll hopefully get to that in a bit.
Not that the hints at her mechanical nature and the relevance of Tucker's background were lost on me; I can appreciate why those would contribute to a plausible, fun and I think still mostly harmless theory (now fact). However, minus one or two specific posts I've seen on the matter (namely a recent one suggesting that if Trudy is a robot Beth is probably taking inspiration from The Stepford Wives, :( sorry person who made that post I couldn't find it I wanted to credit yoouuu), I've seen the theory just about exclusively presented in a manner that, rather than explore the metaphorical and political significance of Trudy being partially or fully mechanical, at best disregards the parts of her narrative that are at their core about sexism (among other related things), and at worst negates them entirely (i.e. Trudy only thinking and acting how she does because she's a robot malfunctioning and not because the world itself is causing harm and she rightfully wants something more than the role she was forced into, Trudy not even having any real thoughts and feelings of her own, etc.). I just think it kind of sucks to shove all those important things about her aside and say "actually, there's no person suffering here, she's just a robot" and perhaps worse yet to imply that she does have thoughts and feelings but because they result in Weird™ behavior it must be a problem with her code and not at all relate to what women were subjugated to during this point in American history.
CONVERSELY I don't think Trudy being a robot (or at least partially one) at least from what Beth and Will have presented us thus far, inherently suffers from any of these issues? First and foremost because Trudy definitely appears to possess sentience, thoughts, and emotions of her own, matters which immediately complicate her degree of personhood and don't inherently box her behavior in as a bug in her programming rather than an issue with the world she's been put in, quite the opposite in fact! I think they have a very solid groundwork laid out here to make a strong statement with Trudy's narrative (and perhaps ask the question of what is really malfunctioning here), all the more so since [I pull out a Rebecca Swallows-style conspiracy board] I don't think she's entirely robotic in nature? Actually you should just read Mack's tags in this post cause he has great thoughts on the matter (of which those are just some of them), but if I can direct your attention to one thing in particular, it would be Beth's fact (I *believe* from episode 2) about Trudy never graduating high school because of her essay where she suggested that "perhaps women could one day domesticate themselves", a statement that could of course be interpreted a number of ways but ultimately threatened the patriarchal status quo enough (in suggesting women's independence) to cost Trudy her diploma. Taken on its own this fact appears to contradict the theory that Trudy has always been robotic in nature, because it doesn't really make sense that Trudy would have been set up to go through high school (or school at all really) when Tucker's intention was/is for her to be the perfect housewife. You may then suggest that Trudy's memories of this are fabricated and not actually her lived experiences, in which case firstly perhaps you should reread my earlier point on the robot theory being used to actively negate and otherwise disregard the portions of Trudy's narrative that pertain to sexism and feminism, and secondly it really doesn't make any sense to me that Tucker would implant those kind of memories into Trudy's brain? To be completely honest if she's been a robot from the very beginning (rather than someone who became a cyborg, which is what I'm trying to suggest here), then I don't see why Tucker would program her with actual sentience in the first place (suspending my disbelief here with regards to the possibility of programming sentience to begin with). It seems much more likely to me then that Trudy was not always a robot, and instead altered by Tucker to force her into a role of subordination and remedy her """imperfections""". This option is significantly more interesting to me one, because it implies that Trudy has actually lived a life up until the present, full of its own complexities and strife (and dreams, and real actual memories worth exploring, etc.), and hence is not by any means "just a robot", and second because it amplifies the hypothetical statement being made on the lives of the real living women of the era and how they were treated and seen as being "in need of fixing" for not conforming to gender roles or otherwise acting "out of line" with what was expected of them.
OKAY THIS GOT OUT OF HAND SO I'M CUTTING MYSELF OFF HERE but I wanted to my share my current thoughts what with this ending and where I'm at so hopefully that was at least interesting to whoever has chosen to read through this one okay thank you byyyyyyyyye~
#BREATHES OUT sorry that was so much longer than expected#but isn't it always?#dndads#trudy trout#dndads spoilers#the peachyville horror#dndads s3 ep 4#dungeons and daddies#*mostly* I'd been keeping my full feelings on the topic to myself#but now that the cat's out of the bag aaah I felt like I had to ramble a little ehehe#ik I haven't been around much lately! This is for a variety of reasons#but rest assured I still give far too many shits about this podcast LOL#aaaaaand uuuh post#(also THANK YOU again Mack for giving me the little push of reassurance I needed to post this one haha)#undescribed#gotta add that later sorry :(
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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↠ Tim & Lucy ↳ 5x04 - The Choice
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#lucy x tim#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#jesuis-assez edits: chenford season 5#jesuis-assez edits: chenford scenes 5x04#They were both hurting so much and longing for the other#the only way they could show how much the other meant to them in that very moment was through a look#Tim poured everything he felt in that look and Lucy mirrored it back just as deeply.#the way Lucy's eyes followed Tim down until she could no longer see him and even then her eyes lingered just a little more.#That's just how they are.#Showing their love through looks and actions#everything they couldn't voice in that moment they communicated with their eyes.#because Tim telling Lucy it's too dangerous was really him saying: I can't risk anything happening to you. I can't lose you.#I don't even have you now and it kills me to be apart from you.#I don't want to imagine what it'd be like without you. Without your presence in my life. And the thing is.. he already knows.#Before her... he's life was in shambles and she came and changed everything for him.#She's been this constant beacon of light and kindness in his life that continues to influence him for the better.#The love of his life.#Just one last look if it is the last thing I see. It'll be you. And your eyes. Your kindness. All that you are & all that you have given me#They held that look for as long as they possibly could before Tim went completely down. They dove into the ocean of each other's eyes#and found something there that was of equal measure.#an understanding of just how important they are to the other.#just how much love was conveyed in a single look of desperation.
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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Doyle Legacy 1890s - 1900s LOOKBOOK
Helena Doyle Harrington 1890s - 1900s
Babies first Lookbook!😀
Helena's upbringing was marked by poverty, stemming from the loss of her mother. This hardship led her to turn to prostitution for survival. However, her future husband Eddy, rescued her from a dangerous encounter with a violent client, allowing her to leave that life behind.
Together, they transformed an abandoned hunting shed into a functioning farm for their family.
Known affectionately as "Dove," Which is a pet name given to her since she worked as a painted lady. The color red became symbol for Helena since she adopted it as her signature, using the color to accentuate her vibrant hair and attract clientele during her time in the sex work industry.
Even after transitioning from a sex worker to a devoted wife I kept that color in mind each time she got an updated wardrobe.
The Harringtons lived poorly which is also why some of Helena's outfits seem out of date for time, she utilized her knowledge of previous decades sewing patterns to make clothes for herself.
I used up every outfit slot in CAS and I'd rather not overwhelm myself so instead I chose my favorites to share!
CC LISTED BELOW THE CUT
Thank you creators who put a lot of time and effort into making content then allowing all of us to enjoy it in our games as well! :)
If anything turns out to be credited incorrectly don't be afraid to contact me and I will correct it!
Helena Details: Teeth | Lipstick | Eyelashes | Eyeshadow | Non-Default Eyes | Eyebrows | Skintone ( Soft Rose Skin ) | Lip Preset ( N3 ) | Eye Preset ( 3 ) | Body Preset ( 4 )
The Painted Lady: Dress | Dress Fringe Acc | Hair | Boots | Torn Stockings
Soiled Dove Work Uniform: Hair | Bodice | Skirt | Boots | Torn Stockings
Everyday: Hair | Top | Wool Socks | Boots
Housework: Apron | Hair | Top | Skirt | Hair | Dirt Overlay | Wool Socks
Going Out: Dress | Hair | Hat | Gloves ( Basegame )
Wedding: Gloves | Hair | Veil | Dress | Heels
Formal: Dress | Hair | Heels | Hat
Party: Dress (The Eloise Dress)| Heels | Hat
Underwear: Outfit is BelleBoudoirSet by GildedGhosts(orig link is broken) | Stockings are Basegame
Sleepwear: Nightgown | Hair
Swimming: Bathing Dress | Shoes | Hair | Tights
Hot Weather: Lace Shawl | Boater Hat | Bodice & Skirt | Boots | Hair | Dirt Overlay
Hot Weather: Hair | Dress & Apron | Boots
Fall Everyday: Hair | Boots | Hair | Wool Socks | Fingerless gloves | Blouse | Skirt
Chilly Weather: Hair | Sweater Dress | Boots | Wool Socks
Winter: Headscarf | Boots | Wool Socks | Shawl & Apron | Scarf | Gloves | Hair
CC Creators:
@dzifasims @magic-bot @vintagesimstress @the-melancholy-maiden @kedluu @twisted-cat @remussirion @sentate @northernsiberiawinds @evoxyr @obscurus-sims @chere-indolente @linzlu @saurussims @uxji @simlotus @stamsim @gilded-ghosts @simstomaggie @dancemachinetrait @twentiethcenturysims @waxesnostalgic @peebsplays @rustys-cc @eirflower @dallasgirl79 @acanthus-sims @happylifesims @satterlly @dissiasims @historicalsimslife @zurkdesign @clumsyalienn @mlyssimblr
#I made my first lookbook AAAAAA#this took SO MUCH LONGER than I expected#I wanna do my beloved Eddy next but I need a break yessshhh I felt the punishment for making so many outfitsgksdbgs#PathsLookBooks#my sims#doyle legacy#Helena Doyle#helena harrington#lookbook#ts4cc#ts4#ts4 lookbook#1880#1890#1900#1910#1890 lookbook#1900 lookbook#edwardian#victorian#decades challenge#decades legacy#decade challenge#ts4 historical#cas#decades lookbook#historical lookbook#oc
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control (2019) + king of pain by the police
#art#digital#grayscale#control#control remedy#control 2019#hi *explodes*#<- hiss charged voice#ok but seriously im pretty stoked about these. not all of them are my absolute best work but a lot of them turned out really well and more#importantly i actually fucking finished all of them (only took about 2 months longer than i thought it would lmao)#ummm notes. all of these were done with the same single brush for everything you see and most were done on only 2 layers + one for the text#the first 3 were done first in order and the last one was done last i dont entirely remember the order of the rest#also i listened to the song exploder episode on the house of cards theme probably at least a dozen times while working on these#just felt like it set the mood well#anything else interesting i have to share about the process? dont think so... look out for some alternate color versions#in the next few days as i endeavor to figure out gradient maps i suppose#well thats it. very much hope this gets even half as much traction as last weeks memes due to the aforementioned 3 months spent working#but we'll see. we shall see.#yayyyyy posting art before bedtime <3
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As promised, here's that fusion post for the three people that asked for it (drops it and runs).
Ford thinks of himself and Stan as one, an extension of each other, and lowkey hates that its not true nor possible.
And Mabel really shouldn't have shown him Steven Universe because now he's obsessing over the concept of fusions and his desire to be one with stan.
Now lets say this is Pre-Weird and everything is still tense between them and they aren't exactly talking but despite that ford still wants to be close and he knows stan does too.
He can see it in the broken resigned looks Stan keeps throwing his way. And listen, Ford isn't the best at communication but he can fix this. He may still be angry and self righteous and an asshole but he can fix them.
So now he spends an even more absurd amount of time in the lab trying to making it his reality and entirely disregards his base needs to the point even dipper is concerned.
He has a journal dedicated to this idea where he keeps all his notes and theories on how to make it possible. Would he have to alter their DNA for it to work or could it be possible for them as they are?
While doing the tests and research for his fixation he remembers a dimension he briefly travelled to back when he was younger and fresh through the portal. One where this concept, his desire, his fantasy, his wish was real. A dimension where it was was their culture, their way of life. And while he did think it was interesting then, he was young and angry and raw with unrestrained hurt. Too emotional to stop and study the practice the way he should have.
He beats himself up over it now. If only he had been thinking more logically him and stan could be one already. They wouldn't have to be so... apart.
He doesn't have time to dwell on his shortcomings though. He has to figure this out. He doesn't know exactly why but he feels like he's running out of time. Like he has to do this now or he'll never have the chance again.
Eventually he has his prototype and it functions well... enough. He just has one more trial to run. Except Stan comes down to check on him. 'Worried ford isn't taking care of himself properly.' or something like that.
And honestly, Stan in his space is the last thing he expects because they have an unspoken agreement. Stan roams above and Ford stays down here. And when they cross paths they both look the other way.
But stan is here and yes Ford is annoyed at first but this also means he doesn't have to go seek stan out.
"I told you to stay- wait actually this is perfect. We'll do it now," Ford fiddles with his device, turning it on and he really isn't thinking right anymore. He know the device works and that's all that matters.
"Do what now? Stanford, what is that," And Stan is kinda terrified because Ford looks... well he looks kinda like how he did decades ago when he had sent that postcard and Stan had come running because well, its Ford.
Ford looks insane, primal and unhinged, like he hasn't seen the light of day in weeks. And Dipper had told Stan, had been worried but Stan brushed it off because Ford locking himself in the lab and avoiding everybody, avoiding him wasn't a new development.
But now Stan’s worried because that wild-eyed look is directed at him again and the cowardly little animal in him is screaming at him to run.
It’s like Ford knows what he's thinking because before Stan has a chance to decide if he's going to shut down or entertain that scared little animal, Ford is grasping at him and pulling him deeper into the dingy little basement.
Stan trips and he fully expects his back to hit the floor but fords got and arm wrapped low on his back that keeps him from falling fully. And stan's hand is also tangled in fords sweater so even if Ford had let him fall, well they would have gone down together.
But then he catches sight of that thing again and it looks vaguely like a gun and why did he have to get saddled with the insane twin? He doesn't even have time to flinch because a bright light floods his vision and he blanks.
For a second, Stan's mind goes black and there's a strange humming in his ears. But then he hears a laugh he hasn't heard in forever. Soft and joyous and for a moment stan smiles. It's Ford's laugh.
Because he and Stan become one. And everything is warm and bright and as it should be. For a moment everything is right. It feels like coming home.
His-Their eyes open and Ford's confused? No, Stans confused.
"Sixer? Lee?" Their voice says, soft and bewildered. They look around, searching for each other. Stan? Ford? Where did they go? They look down and their vision swims. Four hands, five fingers? Six? It all blurs together.
Is this me, they think as one. Finally as one. Four hands run up the sides of their one body then stretch out for their wide eyes to view. Ford can feel his giddiness rising unbidden. And a whisper from Stan, rising to meet Ford. Uncertain but matching nonetheless.
Finally
Finally together... Finally fixed... Finally right.
They spin slowly, as if that will give them a better view of what they are now, and they catch their reflection in some dim glass. Ford wants to smile but their face drops, eyes horrified.
"What did you do," Stan says, voice a cutting accusation. Nausea erupts in their stomach. And that isn't right. Why isn't it right?
Something is wrong. Everything is so very wrong. Ford's head hurts. Or is it Stans. He doesn't know. They can't tell.
"I fixed it. I fixed us," Ford says and it isn't right either. Why is it still so wrong? Stan is angry. But why is he angry? Why aren't they happy? They're together. After all this time they're finally together again.
Ford can feel Stan pulling away. It's like their mind is splitting in two. Hot searing pain shoots through their head, four eyes closing when the world starts to spin.
Ford grasps ahold of stan and refuses to let go. He can't let Stan ruin this, ruin them. He will not let Stan destroy everything he's worked towards again. They've been apart for so long- too long but not anymore. Besides, this is for them. Stan will just have to understand. They are one now. Broken and wrong but one nonetheless.
"Let me go," They yell, tugging apart furiously. Their shape shifts and distorts but doesn't split. Ford won't let them. They snap back together painfully, stumbling on two bulky legs, one that branches into two feet. Wrong.
"No! This is what we wanted right," their voice bellows, loud and angry and wrong. So very wrong. "For us to be together. Always together."
They grip at their hair as if trying to pull themselves back apart. Stan.
"Not like this. I never asked for this." they shout back, voice sharp and hurt and why aren't they happy now. They should be happy. This is right. This is how they are meant to be.
Even as the anger and hurt courses through their entire being, Ford knows he wouldn't want to be any other way. Stan's angry and scared but at least they're one. They're shattered and hurting but even then some small part burns in them, it's a tiny little ember but it's both of them and it says yes.
Another set of hands reach for the ones in their hair, pulling them out and restraining them. Betrayal spikes, scorching and increasing rapidly even after years of dormancy. Ford.
"Stop being so ungrateful! You're always so-." angry tears spill from their eyes. Decades of hurt and anger and resentment spill forth to mix into a sense numbing cocktail but most of all they feel alone. So very alone. Them.
They grapple and struggle and Ford's device glints from the corner of their eyes. Ford can feel Stan's intent before their body even moves. Being one now, it's like their minds have melded which means Stan knows the device's purpose. And he intends to separate them.
"NO!" Ford bellows, voice priggish and angry, hurt tinting the singular word so strongly that their body stalls. Why would stan- Why doesn't he want them to be together?
"Grunkle Stan?" Their head whips to the left, eyes locking with a confused and tired Mabel’s. Their focus splits, body jerking in an awkward aborted movement as Stan tries to move forward and Ford holds him back.
“Pumpkin grab that- Mabel don't-” And why can they never agree on anything. When did everything go so wrong?
Flashes of being in this very lab, so long ago- but no, it was before that even.
Mabel stares at them, scared and confused and stan has never wanted her to look at him like that ever. But Ford doesn't register it because for a moment, one split second, Stan stops fighting him.
They don't hesitate to rush forward, very much intent on destroying their creation before it has a chance to be used against them. To hurt them.
Two small hands wrap around it before they can get ahold of it. Mabel clutches it to her chest, watching them with something too close to fear. They freeze in place, hands raising in surrender.
"Sweetie," Falls from their lips, pleading. For what though, they aren't quite sure. Because their mind, it should be one yet it isn't. It's at odds, fragmented by a fear and necessity that clash so strongly it could tear universes apart.
“Press the green- Don't you dare-” They speak at once, words and thoughts overlapping. Large hands cover their mouth, two others gripping uselessly at wrist that refuse to budge, because regardless of whatever insanity that has plagued Fords mind to make them act this way, Stan will not let their voice- their words even hint at a threat towards Mabel.
Mabel's head bobs, looking from them down to the thing in her hands, unsure of what to do. Stan nods, eyes pleading.
Ford lashes out, angry and hurt and thrashing like a wild dog. 'Stanley please no. Why don't you want us to be-' Stan is retreating, silent and distant. 'Lee. LEE!'
Everything goes dark.
Ford rises slowly, head spinning and ears ringing. He has the worst headache he has ever experienced. He stares at his hands, splayed on the floor. Two hands, six fingers. Wrong.
His head whips up and his gaze finds Stan's crumpled form across from him on the floor. Stan's glaring at him, thick angry tears spilling down red cheeks.
No. No!
His head turns slowly and his eyes fall on Mabel. Mabel who is standing with his prototype in shaky hands looking between a separated Ford and Stan. He... failed. And now they're...
Apart.
Broken.
Wrong.
#taking the stancest obsession and codependency to a whole new level#does this count as a fic?#i feel like this would be pre-weird#but place it whenever in your mind#i imagine post weird that ford would eventually convince stan to let him try again#stan is hesitant but then he remembers the brief second before things had gone wrong#where being them had felt so right#and he wants that again#so he says yes#stancest#stancest angst?#stancest fusion#might turn this into a proper fic someday... well see#kinda shitty but here me out#is this anything???#this was supposed to be a short humorous “ford wants to be one with his brother so bad that he invents fusions” post#and became so much more#this got so out of hand#im sorry?#TUMBLR HAS POSTED THIS 4? TIMES BEFORE IT WAS READY!!#literally just adding tags every time i edit and add to this and refusing to remove the old ones lol#IT GOT LONGER??????#“i can fix them” no i can make them worse
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thinking about tubbo and his relationship with leadership. how he asked forever if he could be president for a day and got added to a long list of names of people who would take over for the person before their name on the list. how he asked to be leader of soulfire and everyone was like "uh yeah sure i guess" on that first day and didn't really take it seriously.
and then fast-forward to now, he's going into purgatory 2 with a whole team behind him supporting him and his leadership. they want him to lead them again without even knowing what's to come, and they still call him coach and captain. it doesn't matter that they lost the first time. it doesn't matter that he's the youngest on the island. he's won people's respect, but more importantly, he's found a family in soulfire, and they've all found a family in each other too. it doesn't just come from a place of respect. it also comes from a place of love. and he's come so far since he was first released from that ice prison. they all have.
before purgatory, no one took tubbo seriously. he only had morning crew. bad was his enemy because of ron and fred. bagi hated him for the hole. he didn't have an egg. so much has changed since then. i mean, just think about what bad said when he showed tubbo the base! think about how bagi's desire to go to purgatory was to save tubbo and the other members of soulfire, how she's said so many times that she wants him as her coach again.
he's found respect, and he's found love of every kind in places he never would have even thought to look. i don't think there's any truer definition of found family than team soulfire.
#qsmp#tubbo#qsmp tubbo#qsmp team soulfire#soulfire#qsmp soulfire#team soulfire#crazy to think about how just months ago qtubbo was just the crazy kid with the controversial hole#and he's still the crazy kid with the controversial hole but that's no longer the only thing the others notice about him#they actually notice him now. they love him#and he loves them#he'd felt so isolated from the other islanders before#but at long last people outside of morning crew have his back#they take him seriously#when he tries to explain himself they actually listen#when he needs support he's encouraged rather than disregarded#sunny has been a huge part of that but so have the other soulgayfire members#there's just so much love there#i really hope they get to work together again in purgatory 2#and i'm super excited to see etoiles going with them :D#on the subject of this post even though etoiles wasn't on soulfire he also ended up gaining that respect for tubbo#the group that was brought to the purgatory boat has such good vibes i care about them so much#and even pierre who still antagonizes him also told sunny to take care of him#i wonder if tubbo even knows how much he's loved#it's certainly new to him#i think if they'd known about fred's funeral they would have been there#tubbo doesn't expect anyone to be there for him and doesn't realize how many people want to be there#they're the found family of all time#the eye guys offered him power but he's already got it! he's got the love and respect of soulfire/morning crew and sunny and the other eggs#and that's all he needs
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Well look what you've done, you dumb bastard. You fell for it.
#we talk about how hurt cal was by bode's betrayal#bode very much made the wrong choice - but how betrayed he must have felt after cal 'changed the plan'#who knows how long it had been since bode had a friend#someone he thought he could trust with his (and kata's future)#he no longer had cal's ambitious desire to protect the innocent and fight the empire#he just wanted his family to be safe#at any cost#so he traded the safety of cal's family instead#jedi survivor spoilers#star wars jedi survivor#jedi survivor#cal kestis#bode akuna#photomode#star wars
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Nightwing: Brothers In Blood is such a fucking hilarious comic for DickJay content, given the bulk of the plot is Jason deciding to dress up as Nightwing and kill people which, Dick predictably is not fond of, as a concept.
There's so much in that arc that makes me unwell. Dick straight up saying he wishes Jason had died. The way they instantly banter when they run into each other before Dick gets mad at Jason for dressing up as Nightwing, then Jason begs Dick to work with him.
But what I think gets me the most is the outright confirmation of how even now, Jason still has a serious case of hero worship for Dick and just wants to be like him and get his approval.
nightwing (1996) #120
There's such a complex Jason has over Dick and it makes me Unwell. Jason identifying with Dick, wanting his attention, his approval. His love, even. I mean, later on when Jason gets kidnapped, in his mind he hallucinates Dick talking to him and it outright confirms he wants Dick to save him and Jason has a doomsday spiral about Dick not saving him, through his mental image of Dick.
nightwing (1996) #121
Jason wants Dick in his life, there's so much unrequited love and weirdness between them. They're so not normal about each other. Later on he sends Dick a note saying he just wishes they could be family again and I think it's so unhinged of Jason. Dressing up as Dick, just because of how much he loves and respects Dick. So much potential in that.
Also aside from all of that complex this comic is also hilarious for the bit it has where Dick accidentally takes a job as a model and has to dress up as Nightwing, specifically Jason!Nightwing because of the sex appeal Cheyenne (the woman Dick is seeing) thinks it has. And when he's on the runway and sees Jason in the audience he just jumps at Jason, in front of everyone, to beat the shit out of him, while dressed as Nightwing. Which the public thinks is a planned stunt to bank on the weird Sexy Rivalry between the two Nightwings currently running around. It's the most unhinged thing and I think it's so funny. Dick's sort-of-girlfriend makes him dress up as Nightwing!Jason because she thinks it's hot and it'll sell, then Dick beats Jason up in front of everyone, still dressed as Nightwing (specifically Jason), and it reads as a sexy performance modeling piece.
nightwing (1996) #120
Imagine being so weirdly homoerotic about your sort of kind of brother figure that you can't hesitate fighting him when you're supposed to be modeling and everyone thinks the tension is so good it's a part of the show. These two cannot leave each other alone with their weird tangled feelings for each other. I love it dearly.
#dickjay#jaydick#dick grayson x jason todd#jason todd x dick grayson#batcest#necrotic festerings#also funny is cheyenne *also* dresses up as nightwing at one point to join the fight which is so damn funny.#dick stuck between two people wearing his mantle and he's currently sleeping with one of them. and then the other is in love with him.#this was going to be much longer but the original version of this meta was just me showing panels and then mansplaining them#and that felt pointless so this is the shorter but more janky version.#this comic is so weird if you think about it for longer than two seconds.#i skipped over the part where jason becomes a monster and eats a guy.#comics are strange. love 'em tho#yes i will be weird and make any canon interaction between these two batcesty. who's to stop me. I'll do it with all the damn robins.#the main point of this post was supposed to be let jason have a hero worship complex over dick#i got distracted#this is not of the quality of my timjay thoughts but tbh i don't care sometimes you just gotta ramble pointlessly#low effort shitpost
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me when i make regulus write a parting letter to james like:
I'm sorry your mom never liked me when I met her that once. I wish I had enough time to change her mind about me. I wish we could've met under better circumstances; maybe then, things would’ve gone differently. I think about it all now and then- that summer I visited your house. All the flowers were in bloom, and the air smelled so sweet. You had a cat named Champ. Do you remember when I reached down to pet her and she purred and offered up her whiskered cheek to my palm? You looked at me like I belonged there, at your house. In your life. I knew then that I’d never see that cat again. I'm sorry you didn't. I'm sorry you believed in me enough for the both of us.
#this is just a small portion of course#it's actually much longer n such#idk what this is i just felt like putting this somewhere#so im slapping it up on my blog#i love you stream of consciousness-esque thoughts#nat writes
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