#this meme has surely been done with crowley before but i felt like i needed to
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listen. people have always debated which character is the most normal guy but what if it has in fact been crowley the whole time. no string pulling no master plan just a guy who wants to keep his school running and is cursed with problematic students and incidents
honestly I think the funniest possible reveal would be one of two options:
ONE: Crowley has no plot relevance whatsoever. he wears the mask to cover his receding hairline. his darkest secret is the bottle of "medicinal" whiskey under his desk. this man can barely plan a PTA function with six months' advance notice, he doesn't have the time or patience for any kind of overarching master plot involving mutating students or whatever. the only thing wrong with him is that he's been running this school for (mumblemumble) years and, quite frankly, if you'd been putting up with NRC students for a couple of centuries, you'd have totally checked out by this point too.
OR
TWO: Crowley IS actually Raverne and HAS been slowly enacting a master gambit...to embezzle school funds. the overblots are still completely incidental. he has somehow less idea of what's going on than we do. we confront him about it and he's just like
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#just sorta the general episode 7 tags there#this meme has surely been done with crowley before but i felt like i needed to#honestly the 'everyone actually just has blot radiation poisoning from the chandelier' was my serious theory for a while#and i'm still like...well...i dunno...#we're at the point where i almost think it would be funnier if they never actually explain what's up with crowley#a buttress falls on him during the final battle and we simply never find out#except no i do actually need to know. i've had too long to stew over it. i need answers!!!!#my current baseless speculation is that it's raverne's body but they just like...stuffed a bird brain in there or something idk#look the longer they make me wait the more bonkers my theories are going to become#'crowley has no connection to raverne and we're all just reading way too much into it' would be kind of an incredible non-twist though#yana sitting there like oh shit. oh no. my masterful reference to that's so raven has been taken wildly out of context.
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Speak now, or forever hold your peace. (II)
Summary: You crash the wedding with Grim and Ortho. Unlike the others, proposing isn’t on your mind. You come with a very different approach.
An angstier take on Ghost Marriage. Idia x GN!reader. Reader is MC, or takes the role of MC in this story. (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
Warnings: none
If the students of NRC thought they’ve seen Eliza at her angriest, they were wrong. The fury she displayed now was incomparable. While Idia fawned over your dramatic anime-worthy entrance, the new interruption was getting on her last ghostly nerve.
“Guards! Seize them!” she roared. Immediately, the ghosts went into action. Idia held his breath as he watched the obedient ghosts charge at you, Grim, and Ortho. He hoped you didn’t barge in with no plan. If you didn’t come equipped with useful items, you would end up like everyone else.
Chubby, determined to get rid of the intruders that caused distress to his beloved princess, was eager to get rid of you. (”Simp”, Idia muttered) However, eagerness wasn’t enough against an opponent equally as determined. As soon as he got too close, an unknown force threw him backwards to where Eliza floated, shocking the princess.
“Chubby! Are you alright?”
Idia, on the other hand, was elated.
“Th-that’s so OP!” he exclaimed. He knew you heard him, because your gaze flicked to him for a split second before looking away. Embarrassed, Idia shut his mouth. He’d expected at least a smile.
After Chubby’s failed attack, other ghosts attempted to face your group. They only met the same fate. Confused, they could only pay their apologies to the princess and watch on in helplessness. Just what did you have up your sleeve? Who did you get such an SS-tier item from?
“Princess, it’s impossible to stop them!” the last of Eliza’s guards told her. For the first time that night, she looked afraid.
Grim guffawed, while you smirked. A familiar look. It was always there before you jumpscared an enemy, or before you checkmated a poor opponent. Idia might have thought it was kinda hot. At the moment, he was oblivious to his gaping mouth, and how wildly his hair blazed. What were once lightly blushing tips were now an alarming red—a level of ferocity never seen from him before.
“You can’t touch or hurt us!” boasted Grim, a devious smirk on his face. “We had some he—mprfgh!” He was abruptly cut off by Ortho’s robotic arm covering his mouth. Idia’s brother shook his head at your noisy dorm mate.
“Release my big brother now!” he demanded. Idia grimaced, but didn’t feel too worried. As long as Ortho was with you and your anti-ghost protective shield, he would be safe.
As expected, the ghosts were affronted.
“How dare he order the princess like that?”
“You ought to be punished for your insolence!”
“To intrude on a royal wedding and speak disrespectfully!
“Send them to the gallows!”
One talked, and one talked over the other. Soon, all that could be heard was an unintelligible susurrus of disembodied voices. One ghost had enough of it, and shouted to Eliza: “Princess, the kiss! Do what must be done!”
“NO!” You and Ortho yelled at the same time. You continued to walk towards the makeshift altar as your two companions followed close behind. Ghosts rushed to block your path, but you pressed on as your invisible shield threw them back. It looked absolutely badass. Well, anything you did was cool to Idia, anyway.
“Out of my way!” You commanded, strong and unwavering. He’d seen you annoyed and angry before, but never up to this point. It basically radiated off of you that a danger warning could be floating above your head.
“S-so intimidating... “
“So scary!”
Sure, this wedding crasher looked like you, but something was different. An unexplainable sinister aura wreathed you tonight. Was it your glare, or was it that regal suit you wore? Idia must have been too distracted by you, that he only noticed now how your cape seemed to drag shadows with it. You were a villain... much like one of the villains from his video games! And something else that was familiar.
Whatever it was and wherever it came from, there was a menacing presence in the hall tonight.
All were silent, except for the wind whistling through the hall. If one listened more carefully, they would hear drowned-out cackles. But it is just the wind, right?
“Wh-who are you?” Eliza finally asked. The ghosts who were ashamed at being unable to seize you began to form a protective ring around their princess. Eliza herself, Idia noticed, was starting to curl in on herself—her presence shrinking the closer you approached. “What do you want?”
“The groom,” was all you said, staring her down as if eyes alone could exterminate the ghost in front of you.
“Idia?” she asks weakly, glancing at her tied-up groom. Idia said nothing and did nothing but look at you, attempting to telepathically communicate his panic. You barely even looked at him.
“He’s mine.”
Hold up—?
More gasps and chatter. They sounded less like whispers and more like the buzzing insects he heard whenever he snuck out at midnight. The world spun. Idia stared at you open-mouthed.
If he were asked to describe his state of mind at this moment, it would be similar to a loading screen. Suddenly, everything you did together played back in a 1.75x supercut sequence.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
“Wh-what?” Eliza sputtered. “What do you mean?”
You answered her, voice losing the steadiness it possessed just moments ago. “You have the man I love.”
Wha…
KDJAFCKSAJHDKACBSXCJSIEUDS?
Idia.exe has crashed. Reboot?
~~
The audience’s reactions were varied. Some students on the floor were amused by the spectacle and could have used some popcorn (and a comfortable position) during these times. Some were horrified and disappointed by the idea of the prefect being in love with Idia Shroud the shut-in. Some were much too confused to feel anything.
“Pardon…? What did I just hear?” Azul asked the floor.
“Puppy love,” Lilia wept, sniffling very loudly. “You know, this reminds me of when I was young...”
“Whaddaya mean when you were young?!” Floyd snapped. His irritability had spiked up even more when you arrived. His position prevented him from witnessing the events. Everyone on the floor could feel his bad mood rolling off of him in waves.
“Hey! Watch your tone when speaking to Lilia!” scolded Sebek.
“... Are they acting?” Leona mumbled.
“Oh, this better be an act.” said Vil. “... though it does not seem to be.” The last part of his observation remained unheard by anyone else, except for Rook.
“I believe we are witnessing a genuine love confession,” added the Chasseur d’Amour himself, voice soft as he sighed dreamily. “Engrave this moment into your memories, everyone! We are fortunate to witness it…”
But no one shared his enthusiasm about the situation. The others expressed their displeasure by groaning and complaining. “... well, even in this state we are in?” he added as a follow-up.
~~
Reboot.
You once fell asleep on Idia’s shoulder after finishing a movie. It was something you both only watched to make fun of, but you were apparently too tired to give your top-tier jokes and meme references. The contact sent his heart into overdrive as he froze, begging for option boxes to appear and help him. The flames of his hair blazed so brightly that it woke you back up. It was embarrassing, and sometimes he would remember it late at night and cringe.
It was happening again, but worse. Any moment now, he was sure that he alone could burn down the cafeteria, if not the whole school. This was stupid. Why did he get that worked up over an obvious act? A mere ploy to get the ghosts to release him?
Reality catches up and deals him triple attack damage. Crowley probably put you up to this. You were probably annoyed that you were forced to do this, weren’t you? That’s why you couldn’t even look at him. It had to be the cruelest joke that fate ever threw his way.
“I can’t say I don’t understand you, Princess,” you tell Eliza, forcing a smile. “Idia is perfect, is he not?” He felt your eyes on him. This time, it was he who couldn’t quite meet your gaze. Looking down at the floor was all he could do; it couldn’t judge his blushing face. Only when the warmth in his cheeks faded did he feel it safe to look back up again.
“You see him, don’t you, Princess?” Your voice began to falter, losing the confidence and authority in it that scared the ghosts. “He’s so much more than what everyone else thinks! We agree on that, don’t we?”
Eliza’s face softened, nodding. “Yes. I’ve seen how these people insult him!” she tells you, gesturing to the ‘failed princes’ on the floor.
“But we’re still different,” you stepped closer, but still far enough so that your invisible anti-ghost forcefield wouldn’t activate. “You don’t want to marry Idia, you want to marry your fairytale prince.”
Eliza appeared to be genuinely confused. She looked around at her companions, before turning back to you. “What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with your ideals, not the person himself,” you explain. “You only chose him for his appearance. Am I right? His personality, likes and dislikes, and possible flaws don’t matter to you.”
Eliza seemed deep in thought. While she was silent, you release a bitter laugh and threw your hands up. “I mean, do you even know what his favorite candy is?”
Pomegranate drops. You asked to have some, but he refused to give you any. He wouldn’t tell you why, but he let you assume it was his favorite and didn’t want to share because of that.
That wasn’t it, though. Maybe he’d tell you once you were both out of here.
“You’ve never stayed up until 4am just to join him on a raid!” You waved your hands wildly, lost in your rant. Whether Eliza understood you or not, you seemed to have stopped giving a damn.
“Weak!” he teased, noticing your drooping eyelids and reduced concentration. Deep down, he felt bad for keeping you up late. “Look, it’s fine if you need to rest.”
“Nah, let’s finish this. What are you going to do without me?” you replied, smirking.
“You don’t even have 4-hour conversations with him on Magicord VC like I do!”
It lasted up until 3am. You two were laughing at memes. He could hear a groggy Grim complain in the background about the noise.
“Alright. Here’s a question, princess. How much would you risk for the man beside you right now? Bet that’s where we’re different...”
Eliza’s gaze darted back and forth between you and Idia. Even the other ghosts were silent, waiting for your next words.
“... because if you ask me, I would risk everything! That’s why I’m here wearing this stupid suit!”
It’s not real. It’s not real. The emotion behind every word was a punch to the gut. If you kept this up, he might need a healer soon. Ever since he realized he was falling, he tried to quell the sparks of hope you ignited whenever you did something nice for him. All that hard work was gone. Each word you uttered was gasoline.
“To think that if I arrived minutes later… th-that I would never see him again!” A sob escapes your throat, your intimidating persona crumbling.
No, don’t do that. Idia wanted to reassure you that he was still there and he was okay, but he couldn’t. It’s part of an act. It’s part of an act.
“So please… just let him go.” The front you wore has completely dissolved. There you were, reduced to a sobbing mess in front of a ghost princess and the students of NRC.
You weren’t the only one. All traces of anger or fear have vanished from Eliza’s face. Instead, she put her hands over her mouth. The princess had been moved to tears. Finally, she turns to Idia. “Idia, they seem to l-love you very much… ”
“That’s right.” You wiped your tear-streaked face and pointed an accusing finger at the ghosts. “And all of you! Are you going to enable her forever? Encourage her shallow ideas of what love should be?”
They all looked down, unable to meet your eyes.
“You have no right to just snatch him up and claim him as yours,” you told Eliza with an unfaltering resolve, despite your tear-covered face and your crumbled front of strength. “Did you never think… that there could have been someone waiting for him to return?”
“I-I never meant to!” Eliza cried. “I was so blinded by my own happiness. I never thought… never even considered…”
“Princess, it’s alright. We all make mistakes.” Chubby told her, trying to be reassuring.
“Tell me, intruder. How else am I going to find my prince?” she asked you with no trace of hostility. You stopped for a while, staring at her.
You must not have expected the question. Idia saw you look at him—it was the longest time you’d looked at him all evening. Clearing your throat, you began to explain. You fumbled a bit, scratching the back of your neck and tugging at the hem of your coat as you explained what a perfect partner should be.
As you spoke, Idia was enthralled by your voice and most of all, the knowledge you possessed about love and romance. He hadn’t seen this side of you before. How did he ever think that a hundred dating sims could make him a romance expert?
“Is that so?” she sighs, bowing her head. “I understand now. I’m so sorry… for causing you so much grief.”
She turns to her companions, giving them a sad smile. “There’s only one thing to do. Everyone, we must stop this wedding.”
Idia wanted to fall to the floor in relief. At least a few exhausted sighs and weak cheers could be heard from the wedding “attendees”. You fell to your knees, exaggerating your gratitude.
“Thank you, princess!”
“But Princess… what about your happily ever after?” Chubby interjected.
“I can’t tear two lovers apart!” Eliza wipes a few of her own tears, then turns to you. “I was deeply moved by your words. I dream of having a lover like you,” she sighs dreamily, probably imagining her future lover already.
While the students of NRC rejoiced at this victory, Idia’s heartbeat quickened in fear. What if Eliza decided to take you for herself?
“Princess…” Chubby muttered, sighing. Eliza only gave him a reassuring smile. Phew. Idia relaxed, grateful that she doesn’t have the idea… yet. He didn’t know what to do if that thought became reality.
Eliza turns to address the hall with a smile. “I have decided.” Everyone waited with bated breath for her announcement. Idia squeezed his eyes shut and silently urged her to announce their departure already.
“Idia and I will not be married anymore. She smiles wide, and clasps her hands together. “However, there will still be a wedding!”
Your smile faded. “What… what do you mean, princess?”
She beams. “To make up for my mistake, I will make sure that Idia and his lover are married tonight!”
~~
To be continued.
Tagging: @teashopwritingzz @twistedcrumbs
Well, that was long. To think that I was planning for the story to be a one-shot! Once again, keep an eye out for Part 3. Thank you for reading!
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
#twst x reader#twst fic#idia x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#rewritten
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O + T + P for fandom ask meme
For the ASK MEME:
Okay, so OTP *cracks knuckles* O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of? Okay, so for this, I turned my Spotify on shuffle and went with the first song that came up, and it is BRILLIANT. Lady Luck is on form tonight. I could not have picked a better song myself https://youtu.be/qJYbFFFZwdE Part of the Union - Strawbs ROM! This song is Rom. Forever and always. 🎶'Ohhhhhhhh, you don't get me, I'm part of the union' 🎶 Too right! T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything) Hmmmmmmm. Okay, so my absolute unshakable headcanon is that Julian Bashir's accent isn't the one that he grew up with but the one that he cultivated specifically later on in life - probably when he was either at school or the Academy/Med School. I have two reasons for this: 1. His accent is absolutely nothing like his father's (or his mother’s). I’m going to kind of focus a little more on his dad’s accent here, as both their accents are English (which suggests to me that Julian probably grew up there somewhere). His dad has a strong Estuary, working class kind of accent. Julian's is much closer to RP. Accents tend to be really heavily associated with class in the UK, and whilst not everyone has the same accent as their parents (I don't), generally you have the same kind of class indicators even if it's a different dialect (I do). So it does seem strange to me that Julian's accent is so cut glass, whereas his father's is the absolute opposite. 2. His accent (certainly in the earlier series) isn't one that you find in the wild here, so to speak. It's the sort of accent that you *learn*. Yes, yes, I know it's probably a function of Trek being a US series, since this happens with a lot of Brits in US TV from that era (they have a stereotypical accent that actually kinda doesn't really exist here. See: Buffy. lol), but it does have interesting implications. Namely that he consciously modified his own accent to sound like that for whatever reason. And this headcanon kinda makes me sad, in a way, as I'd like to think that by the time we get to the Trek future, such strict class divisions aren't a thing anymore, and therefore there’s no pressure to lose your accent. But the fact that Julian's accent gives absolutely no hint about where he's from (beyond a general vague sort of 'Brit, probably' vibe) sort of suggests otherwise. And that he felt the need for it to be that way.
(I actually have loads of accent headcanons. I have a particularly wild one for Picard involving a translator ‘quirk’ and some good old Anglo-French relations) P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas) Okay, I'm going to cheat and do this for Good Omens, as I've got a really good one (that I'm probably never going to actually properly write, even though I've been thinking about this for over two years and have already got the first two chapters of it done. lol). Coffee Shop AU. Wait, wait, hear me out. Post not-apocalypse, Crowley decides to open a coffee shop in his semi-retirement, because a demon's got to do something to while away the decades before Hell decides that they'd like him back, actually. And really, he's got to make sure he stays in the Bad Books (because we all know they're not going to leave him alone for long). Got to keep a hand in when it comes to the old Evil Incarnate business, and what could be more evil than sweeping gentrification and overpriced coffee (served to the sound of a band you've never heard of - likely with good reason)? A deeply uncool demon operating a deeply uncool coffee shop. Hipster catnip. And, honestly, I think that would be pretty funny.
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First lines meme thingie
I got tagged by @teadrinkingwolfgirl!
Rules: Post the first lines of your last ten fics read or written and then tag others to do the same.
I haven’t read anyone else’s fics in ages (mea culpa) so I’m really doing this to remind myself of what WIPs I’m supposed to be working on. XD
Tagging! @firesign23, @rivendellrose, @cigaretteburnslikefairylights, @pendragyn, @kiwimeringue, @timetravelbypen and anyone else who’d like to play!
The Patience of Angels (Good Omens)
“Right,” shouted Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies and Prince of the First Circle of Hell, “shut up, you lot!”
The rabble quieted down, but not without trouble – Hastur had to set a few unruly demons on fire before Beelzebub could finally make themself heard without screaming. They settled into the chair at the head of the long, long table, with Hastur at one elbow and Dagon at the other, and surveyed the assembled with resigned disgust (which was the most neutral emotion Beelzebub could summon).
Every demon with any scrap of authority was there, every prince and duke and a bunch of other ranks besides, by Satan's own order. Except for Satan himself, of course. He hadn’t been to a board meeting in a year, which wasn’t like him – he usually at least came to the once-a-year all-staff meetings. But the boss was still sulking and licking his wounds after that business in Tadfield. Beelzebub supposed he had the right to sulk; after all, six thousand years of planning had been flushed straight down the toilet, all because of one disobedient brat.
There was something marvelously poetic in that, somewhere, but Lord Beelzebub did not possess a poet’s soul. (Though they had possessed a few poets, over the centuries, but they hadn’t picked up much in the way of insight.)
Sideways (MCU, Stoki)
Loki was not expecting to see Captain Rogers again – vastly preferred not to see him again, in fact, along with the rest of the Avengers – and when he did, the first thing he thought was that wasn’t sure about the new beard.
Thankfully, Captain Rogers couldn’t see him, so he didn’t have to concern himself with the captain’s feelings on the matter.
In theory, the less Loki had to see or hear or be aware of Earth, the better. In practice, he'd learned enough about humans to realize that it was at least prudent to keep tabs on Midgard and its infuriatingly stubborn inhabitants. Unlike Odin (not quite late, not quite lamented, safely and comfortably sequestered away in the most inconvenient corner of the palace dungeons), Loki did not have the ability to see and hear all things within the Nine Realms, so he’d had to take the Gatekeeper into his confidence.
Heimdall was... he wasn’t entirely sure what Heimdall’s opinion on the matter of Loki pretending to be Odin was. He recalled the first time he took the throne—
‘Took.’ It was given to me, justly, by Asgard’s own laws of succession and by order of... the queen.
—when Heimdall obeyed his commands up until the moment Loki relieved him of his duties. He knew better than to make the same mistake twice; Heimdall had guarded the Bifrost for longer than Loki had been alive, and he’d learned a thing or two about the watcher’s loyalties. With the true king alive but incapacitated and Thor having abjured the title, who was there left to be king, save Loki?
And it clearly didn’t matter to Heimdall that Loki was technically supposed to be dead.
Upon the Mountains, Like a Flame: Chapter 10 (MCU)
"Are you truly going to prevent Loki from using his magic to defend himself?"
"I have said that I will. It is the only possible way of ensuring a fair fight, especially if Loki and Sigyn are to face Theoric together. Unless you wish to make it that easy for Loki to defeat him. His power has grown--"
"No," said Frigga, "he hasn't." She sounded tired. "He had help. From whom or who, I know not, but I do know the scope of our son's power."
Odin stopped his disgruntled pacing and turned to face her, and suddenly Frigga felt very cold. "Are you certain? We have never been entirely sure what manner of power to expect from one of his... lineage."
"If Loki had learned by nature how to shield his appearance and his identity from us both, he would have used it – and crowed about it – long before now. As it is, he can transform himself into any number of animals in order to bedevil his brother, but we always know it is him. And before you ask again," she continued, "no, Sigyn did not help him. This manner of magic does not belong to her."
Odin conceded that point, at least. "Sigyn's preference would have been to slip away from Asgard between dawn and morning and never look back. And you would not have been able to find her, I think, any more than I would have. And yet... she stayed."
"For Loki."
"For love of him," Odin sighed, feeling old, as he had when Loki had pleaded for Sigyn's hand in marriage. "They make a frightening pair, those two.
The Art of Weaving (Sequel to “The Art of Spinning”) (MCU)
“He lacks compassion.”
“Lacks...” Thor stopped dead in his tracks. “Father, he spent a month caring for Mother and wouldn’t leave her side even when I wanted him to come to Svartalfheim with me. He helped me free Jane from the Aether and find a way to defeat Malekith that saved the last of the Dark Elves from slaughter, when you and I would have gladly let them all die.”
“And what has been the result of those good deeds? A long-dead race returned to the Nine Realms, upsetting the balance of power even further, and my heir abandoning his birthright to waste the next century in the company of a woman who will be gone in a blink.”
Thor remembered his brother’s parting words, the tight, sorrowful embrace, and the lock of hair Loki had given him. “He gave up his chance for freedom. He accepted responsibility for his crimes, even though we know now that he was being manipulated. What more would you have from him?”
“Nothing. I am grateful to have my youngest son back. But I would have my eldest reclaim his place as well.”
But Thor shook his head, and stepped away from his father’s fond hand. “I can never be the king you want. Loki can. He is like you in ways that I am not.”
Odin went suddenly still. “What do you mean?”
“I lack your ruthlessness.”
L'éternité de la damnation, l'infinité de la jouissance (Crimson Peak)
It had been two years. Two years of independence and travel and writing and of seeing the world. Her life would never be normal again, but at least now it felt charmed instead of cursed. At least during the day.
At night, she still dreamed of red-soaked white nightdresses, and of Lucille Sharpe haunting the crumbling halls of Allerdale. She woke with the taste of blood in her mouth, and visions of Thomas screaming in hell.
She didn’t know if he deserved that. He had done terrible things, but how many had been of his own choosing? He had not been a good man, but he had so desperately wanted to be.
Demon in My View (Good Omens)
Normally, Aziraphale was loath to part with any of the books in his collection – though he was not above going against his own grain for people whom he knew would love and cherish the tomes almost as much as he himself did – but in this case, he was delighted to make an exception.
"No charge. No, I absolutely insist. After all, my dear boy, they were meant to be yours."
Adam thanked him politely, and then asked, "Do you still have that wicked flaming sword?"
Aziraphale winced a touch at the adjective but let it pass. "No, no, I'm afraid not. I was required to give it back."
"That's not fair. It was yours, Crowley said it was. And you did help save the world with it. They should give it back to you."
"Well, perhaps they will, one day."
And His Feet Were Made of Clay (Good Omens)
The bookshop of A.Z. Fell was closed. It was the middle of the day and every shop surrounding it was open for business, but most passersby didn't seem to notice the bookshop, and the ones who did weren't surprised that it was closed. In fact, if you examined the diaries of London citizens going back to eighteen hundred, you would find countless entries complaining about the fact that Mr. Fell and Co. (Aziraphale had added the 'Co.' in the eighteen-forties, when he realized he needed to start pretending to be his own son.) never seemed to be open, and that when they were, the very nice gentleman inside was always curiously reluctant to actually sell you anything.
The thing that Aziraphale had always liked most about his corporation was that it looked human. It lacked basic human needs and drives, but it could simulate and perform those functions with perfect adequacy, and really, that was beside the point, because it looked human. It looked unique, the way humans did. Looked like God the way humans did, and the way angels most emphatically did not. Angels had been created by the Almighty with a variety of ineffable functions in mind, and what they looked like when they weren't cramming all their eyes and wings and wheels into a chunky bipedal casing with odors and fluids reflected those functions.
Humans, as near as Aziraphale had been able to figure out in six thousand years of watching, had no preordained function. God had made them because they were fun and that was enough, and he rather liked that about them. Envied that about then, even. (Envy wasn't something he was supposed to admit to, but he lied to himself about so many other things that he simply couldn't have this one on his conscience.)
Although if they did have a function, he was convinced that they existed for the sole purpose of making more of themselves.
A Pause From Thinking (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
“Doctor, I appreciate the courtesy call, but it this is some sort of human mourning ritual, I’m really not interested.”
"I didn't think you'd be interested in mourning. I just thought you might want some company. A loss is a loss, after all." Julian poured out the whiskey and handed Garak a glass. "Here's to terrible fathers."
Lots of Rules and No Mercy (sequel to “I Say, Why Not?”) (Tron)
It was about a month after Alan was first able to communicate with his security program that Tron made the request—not out of any doubt in his user's abilities, but out of respect for the human he looked to as both creator and guardian angel.
"His name was Ram," said Tron, the words appearing on the screen beneath his angularly-rendered face, his voice coming through the headphones like an echo of Alan's own voice. "We were in the MCP's holding cells together for a while. He was just an actuarial program, but he was good at the games and..." The blocky, pixelated face didn't convey one-tenth of the emotion Alan was sure he could hear in the program's tight, gruff voice. "He was a good friend."
"I'm sorry." Alan felt silly, even after a month, apologizing and offering sympathy for the erasure of a program. He was a software engineer after all—he'd been writing and rewriting and erasing programs since high school. It had never been that big of a deal before. "I'm sorry, Tron."
Tron seemed to gather himself together. "Alan. Can you resurrect him?"
Alan stared at the face on the screen, unsure of what to say. He knew Tron couldn't see him or his expression of dumbfounded shock, but the silence said enough. "Forgive me," Tron murmured, seeming to bow his head in the way that made Alan the most uncomfortable. "It was impertinent of me, I shouldn't have asked—"
"It's not that," Alan blurted out. "It's just—I wouldn't know where to start," he added, trying to ignore the uneasy thrill of his creation's simple faith in him.
The Goblin Emperor’s Garden (The Goblin Emperor)
It became Maia’s habit, following the drama of his first Winternight as emperor of the Elflands, and once his wife-to-be decided that he no longer needed quite so many dancing lessons, to hold small intimate suppers one evening a week in his private dining room in the Alcethmeret. Sometimes he entertained several people, sometimes only a few, but nearly every week, Csethiro Ceredin was at the table.
If it was only the two of them at supper, she sat opposite him, where he had the privilege of listening to her speak until the small hours of the morning on all manner of topics, while he forgot about his meal and tried not to drown in her brilliant blue eyes. If there were others at table, she sat at his right, and though she had other social obligations on such evenings, it was worth it to Maia, to be able to sometimes, quickly and surreptitiously and not always entirely secretly, squeeze her hand under the embroidered tablecloth.
His secretary and all of his nohecharei always noticed, and he suspected that they desperately wanted to tease him about it. His nephew Prince Idra also always seemed to notice, and as he and Maia grew closer, Idra did not hesitate to tease him.
“You should be careful,” Csethiro playfully warned the prince, one night after the rest of the guests had taken their leave and the three of them were alone at table, lingering over dessert. “For someday your uncle will find you a wife, and you will make just such a fool of yourself, and he will be as shameless in laughing at you.”
Idra and Maia both blushed, stamping their utterly dissimilar features with a moment of family resemblance. “If I am so fortunate as to someday have such a wife as to be worth making a fool of myself over,” said Idra, half-bold and half-shy, as only a fourteen-year-old boy could be, “I should thank my uncle profusely for his choice, and not mind the teasing.”
“Well spoken, cousin,” Maia said gratefully.
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