#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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not sorry. i extend very little sympathy and patience towards tras who are underage, and the only ones who do get said sympathy are TIFs. but again. it's MICROSCOPIC levels of sympathy.
#i was also a tra as a minor (~10yo to 14yo)#and yet i never said even half the shit a lot of these kids are spewing with their whole chests.#i never hated on terfs; made rape jokes; made death threats.#I barely ever even argued with terfs bc i AGREED WITH THEM even as a tra. the only thing i disagreed on was how they went about it#(i felt like they were 'too mean'. now that i am a radfem i see we arent mean enough.)#i never in my life shared countless anti terf memes. never had a DNI.#never spammed terf tags and spaces.#never sent hate anons.#so yeah#i do genuinely judge kids who do this because i WAS ALSO A CHILD and i NEVER did this shit even at the height of the trans ideology#worming its way into the government and law.#people need to understand that children can and SHOULD have morals. just like adults.#you shouldnt need to be told 'hey this is bad' to know thats bad. if you have morals then you simply just know.#i tried to go vegan my entire life. would refuse to eat animals even when i was 4 years old. went officially vegan at 11 when i realized i#wouldnt die without animal protein (and even if i did i was sick of funding animal murder)#no one NEEDED to tell me to do that.#my morals simply did not agree with killing and eating other living beings.#so kids who are willing to do all this shit? yeah. thats ust a reflection of their innate morals. not even joking here either.#i work with kids.#i know how downright cruel they can be and not just in a 'im socially inept and have no filter yet'#but intentionally cruel.#intentionally heinous. and tiktok exposure only makes it so much worse.#so yeah if you are a minor and i go on your account and i see dozens of terf-hate posts?#i AM judging you and i feel zero sympathy for anything coming your way#and i do genuinely hope they wither away in shame and regret when they get older#I didnt even do any of this shit and yet i still feel ashamed and remorseful for the stupid tra shit i spewed (mostly about how#sex and gender arent the same. that was the HEIGHT of my trans rights activism. that's barely 1% of what these kids are saying.)#like i understand where theyre coming from and i get why theyd buy into the trans cult; but that does NOT excuse their behavior.#rudefem
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#why is the world so heartbreaking 🤣🤣🤣#regardless of the#the radius you know#near and far#it holds true#personal world or encompassing u as an infinitesimal part of it#is it worth it?#can you make it worth it?#maybe the buddhists were right and the only way forward is to give up everything good and bad to leave this cycle of suffering forever#i’m just being a pedantic little bitch but damn#this shit be hurting#side note i wanna quit everything#just rawdog misery like the loser i really am#i’m just inviting more problems down the line with my shortsighted thinking#i’ve had it so easy#everything i could ever need handed to me on a silver plate or whatever tf the saying is#still a fuck-up too damn sensitive to do anything right#i can’t do anything#what am i doing man like what am i supposed to be doing#i should get dinner this thought spiral is going nowhere#at least i still have music#stupid boy#my feelings feel disproportionate for the occasion but they feel inevitable at the same time#what’s the word that means predestined but without the religious connotation#so much love inside me but not enough to make me a good person#i wish i felt like screaming or crying idk but that’s never been my style#im just here normal as always but like my heart bro it’s like#grown spikes inside my body and doing some nuclear fission shit#i need to get hit by a car and not die or something maybe my organs need to see the outside for a bit then i’ll be normal
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...
#wishtalks#vent post time ^_^ yay ^_^#feeling very neglected atm#nothing feels like it's going right anymore#school has been tough im literally failing exams#barely have any times for hobbies anymore because i've gotten so busy#depression has been hitting really bad stopping me from being nearly as productive as I should be at a daily basis#I can't shake off the feeling of being burned out from that alone#it doesn't help that i've been struggling to connect to ANYONE at all lately#classmates are nice people but the connection I feel with them is so superficial.#Feels like i'm only ever around because I'm just there by default#I feel like people only really fuck with me here because it directly benefits them#I feel so wrong#I feel like the way I am right now I can never truly connect with people#the few friends I had back home are all growing more distant#they themselves are busy and this new timezone schedule just makes me completely unavailable#I feel like things haven't gotten better for the past 8 months and instead is either remaining stagnant or getting worse#and I can't do anything about it except for idly sit by and watch it deteriorate in front of me#but in a way I don't fault anyone. I would have wanted others to live their lives without me.#It's funny that thought I was deserving of anything different#the only way I can cope is by just accepting that i'm wrong and this is how just how it's supposed to be for people like me#I'm just tired. Nothing I do ever feels right. I feel like the world is telling me I don't deserve anything and I kind of agree#I'm so used to the feeling of neglect it sometimes feels like i'm actively pushing any help or support away. but nothing else feels right#I feel like i've exhausted every person willing to help me out. I feel like nothing helps anymore and im just slowing others down#if you know me personally and you're reading this. i'm sorry I failed you#I'll be okay I just need time to pass
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starting to suspect that i am not very good at engaging in open/honest/non judgmental conversations on the internet actually
#teeth.txt#i try to be a lot of the time like#idk#but sometimes i do look back on like my opening lines and i'm like oh that was way more judgmental and coming from my own biases#than i originally thought/meant it to be#oops.#i think i need to actually ban myself from saying anything in any comment section ever#my communication style is not meant for it. even though i feel like it is and i'm explaining myself reasonably#it always seems to put people on the defensive#mostly because the types of interactions im talking about are like#contradicting the original statement that op made or whatever#so inherently that's gonna throw up defenses#but i don't think i'm actually ever helping with that and#perhaps i should actually just crawl into a cave and never speak to anyone ever again. maybe.#and i always make myself look like an idiot too. idk. internet comments are where productive conversations go to die#but also it's my fault and nobody else has ever had this issue ever#anyways turns out you actually can't just explain yourself betterer and betterer and make everyone understand what you're saying#or understand what everyone else is saying and where they're coming from#idk i just feel like out of the 3? ish internet 'arguments' i've gotten into in recent memory#all of them have ended with me a) getting stressed out by them and b) eventually disengaging completely#with no resolution and both sides just knuckling down in their beliefs#not good.#whatever i'll just try to get better at this in real life where it actually matters and i can better tell if someone is engaging#in good faith/an honest desire to have a conversation#ughhhhhh#also sorry everyone u get me talking on this app here way more because i can't talk to my bf rn. lol
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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.
#eggs? just supplement the chickens diet with more diverse foods to make up for the nutrients lost that they would otherwise have#if they were left to consume their own unfertile eggs#wool? well unfortunately we've already bred sheep to constantly grow wool so you kinda have to shear them for their own wellbeing#milk's a little harder to convince me w. but as long as you're not taking more than the calf needs then it should be generally ok.#the true crime however is how aurochs went extinct so that humans could benefit from them.#i don't think you can convince me that genetically altering animals for human benefit was ever a good idea. but we're here already.#so we gotta figure it out. i'm still disgusted about how we got here.#give me a convincing reason not to be. i do not marvel at the 'greatness and intellect of humanity' because all I see is people#using these animals as a means to an end. it feels the same to me as genetically altering dogs till they can hardly function.#wish people would just admit that this endeavor was done by the selfishness of humanity rather than try to fluff it up with#'well the animals can benefit too !!!' yeah but who benefits more and why do they deserve to benefit more#its fine to admit its done for self serving reasons. i'd respect you more if you did admit it.#humans do a lot of things for self serving reasons. the worst is when humans try to convince themselves thats Not the reason they#did something so blatantly self serving.#i think a lot of progressive types struggle to accept when they do things for self serving reasons. im not gonna pull a 'humans are#inherently selfish' on you but selfishness is very much a core part of being human and an animal in general. it's not what defines#us and it's not our only trait. we are a social species after all so it doesnt serve us to be purely selfish#but we do be being selfish still. we're not gonna be able to fully escape that behavior. you're not gonna be able to escape being#selfish by virtue of calling yourself progressive. it's impossible. just do your best to not be selfish but also dont deny when you are#honesty with yourself and what you're like is important. you're never going to be a pure perfect good moral person ever.#and convincing yourself all your actions are ones of Morality is Not the way you should go about ANYTHING ever#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself#that the animal wanted it or needed it or benefited somehow. it didn't. and thats ok to acknowledge. you're not an inhuman monster#for eating a dead animal. that doesn't mean it cant be sad. that doesn't mean you dont pay your respects. be sad it happened#and at the same time thankful for the animal feeding you. dont skip with glee about its sacrifice bc thats just fuckin.... weird...#a lil unhinged......... 'im so glad you're dying for me :)))))))' like.... girl what#not that you cant be happy to be fed just like.... dont sound like a serial killer about it in your inner monologue.............
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺
#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream#which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket#but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful#um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money#this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming#aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh#and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it#also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am#and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him#i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope#and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and#go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive#situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe#and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant#bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in#reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone#and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here#thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore
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insane that i’m the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child that’s emotionally abusive is fine
#i??? do not understand my parents#like ok yes it is bad that my room smells of weed and is messy#but!#feels real fucking weird that my mum gets more upset with me about that than my sister being the literal devil incarnate#and not in a fun way#like dinner last night i literally did not say a single word bc me. just speaking. apparently triggers izzy and i think i literally just#acknowledged a joke being made and she started her whole. you need to leave. get out. you’re the problem. everyone hates you. shtick#and my mums response is can you just be nice to each other#???????????#GIRL I DIDNT DO A FUCKING THING#I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT AND THE CONFLICT APpArENtLy ONLY OCCURS WHEN IM PRESENT#(it doesn’t. she’s even worse to my mum but mum never. fucking does anything about it#which yeah i do get bc defending urself or literally just saying or reacting in anyway than what The Devil wants you to ends up a mess)#but maybe use two fucking braincells and realise i’m not the worst one here??#i’m actually gonna go insane#also it’s like. lowkey so funny that mums disappointed bc she thinks i haven’t been smoking for months#which i have!! u just haven’t fuckin realised it bestie!! so maybe the reason i am being depressed and useless rn is related to uhh the#fucking demon that’s living in the house again???#not because weed is so evil and brain rotting??#also like i do completely get how silly of me it is to blame everything on my sister when i am aware that my mum hates me smoking weed and#i shouldn’t get a free pass just because my sister is worse than me#but also.#i would like a free pass:(#basically! i should move out lol#but unfortuately i have spent all of my savings#can’t wait to spend 12 hours in the car with all of them tomorrow!!#ah you know when u look back at the times you were gonna kill urself and wish you just fucking did#vent post
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treat you better | carlos sainz
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and he’s there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you ❤️
cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing
a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3
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November
👤 charles_leclerc
liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others
f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?
fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it
fan when i catch you charles
fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro
↳ fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race
↳ fan kmag you know what you need to do
↳ fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror 🙏🙏
fan ok but the girls gorgeous
↳ fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS?
↳ fan im just saying damn
fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting
fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything
fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her
↳ fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week
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liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others
y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)
kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok 🤍
↳ y/npriv thank u kelly bear 🤍
↳ kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so
↳ y/npriv 😭😭 hes not voldemort babe 😭 you should have just let him go
↳ kellypiquet now is that really how you feel?
↳ y/npriv ... no but i wish i did
↳ maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free
↳ y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)
carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel 🩷
↳ y/npriv i love you carm 🩷
↳ georgerussell63 and me?
↳ y/npriv i tolerate you :)
flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max
↳ y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear
↳ estebanocon ?? hey???
↳ y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie
↳ estebanocon let it DIEEEEE
↳ y/npriv never 🫶
schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x
↳ y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x
♥️ schecoperez
lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands
↳ y/npriv i fuckin love you lily
lewishamilton he will never know peace next year.
↳ lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x
↳ y/npriv lewis 😭 thank you x
francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour...
↳ y/npriv 😭 ... what are they saying
↳ francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read...
↳ y/npriv pierre i appreciate you
↳ pierregasly i'm gonna kill him
↳ y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie
lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him
↳ y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow
↳ alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head
sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x
↳ y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x
↳ sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x
↳ y/npriv you got it! x
danielricciardo he's a cunt
↳ danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way
↳ y/npriv DANIEL
↳ oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt
↳ y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this
↳ oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age...
↳ y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar
↳ oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest
↳ y/npriv that's better
carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat)
↳ y/npriv carlos 😭
↳ carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love
↳ y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is
↳ carlossainz55 my plan is working :)
↳ y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak
↳ carlossainz55 something like that ;)
yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :(((((
↳ y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about
kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do
↳ y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!!
↳ kevinmagnussen worth it :)
↳ y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate
↳ nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense"
↳ y/npriv haas i am so sorry
landonorris i may have done a thing...
↳ y/npriv i am terrified...
↳ landonorris i'll text you :)
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📍Monaco
👤 landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others
y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls 🩷
Comments on this post have been limited
carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber
↳ y/nstagram do you really want to know? 🤨
↳ carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb
↳ landonorris why am i dumber?????
↳ carlossainz55 do you really want to know? 🤨
carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx
↳ y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane 🫶
landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw 🙄
↳ y/nstagram my saviour xx
↳ landonorris and for stealing leo for you
↳ y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? 😭
↳ landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture
↳ y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(
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FEBRUARY
(estrellita - little star) (uy, quécarechimba - ugh, that dickhead)
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📍Shanghai
👤 carlossainz55, landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others
y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x
fan mother has returned!!!!!
♥️ y/nstagram
fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING
↳ fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all
↳ fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace
↳ fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything
↳ fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????
scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n ❤️
↳ y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname
↳ y/nstagram what else should i call you?
↳ carlossainz55 yours
↳ fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????
landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get...
↳ y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)
lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;)
↳ mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n!
↳ mclaren um no us next??
↳ alpinef1team no us!!!
↳ redbullracing come to the winning team :)
↳ scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF 🤺🤺🤺
♥️ carlossainz55
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charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added
to their story to their story
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others
y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch
oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though?
↳ y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so 🤷🏻♀️
↳ oscarpiastri understandable, please continue
danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib
↳ landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u
↳ y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops
↳ landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff?
↳ y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me
maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED
↳ y/npriv 👀👀 carlossainz55 can you confirm?
↳ carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something
francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months
↳ y/npriv apparently not 🙃 texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry
↳ francisca.c.gomes men 🙄
↳ pierregasly ????
↳ francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said
↳ y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly?
↳ pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were
scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n
↳ danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv?
↳ y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx
carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it
↳ y/npriv 👀 are you paying?
↳ carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman
↳ y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)
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liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others
f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.
fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it
fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock 🤭🤭 we know who won the breakup
fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together
↳ fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal
↳ fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple
fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things ❤️
fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!!
↳ fan he would treat her so right
↳ fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along 👀
↳ fan or maybe he's just a good guy
↳ fan that too 🤷🏻♀️
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APRIL
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📍 Australia
liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others
carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf
Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!
See 98,072 other comments
fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS???
↳ fan either lando or y/n 100% 😭
fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS
y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎 congrats winner 🥳
↳ carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm 😉
♥️ y/nstagram
↳ fan oh they're so sick for this
↳ fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning
charles_leclerc congrats
↳ fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment
landonorris carlando are back baby!!
↳ landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie...
↳ y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname
↳ landonorris oh that was mean
fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man
fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race
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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others
y/npriv oh we eating good tonight
kellypiquet i'm sure we are 👀
↳ y/npriv KELLY???
landonorris carlos is so sexy
↳ y/npriv real
↳ landonorris back off my man???
↳ carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando...
↳ landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos
carlossainz55 gorgeous as always
↳ y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos 🤣
↳ carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous
↳ maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth
↳ danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason
scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple
↳ carlossainz55 😉
↳ y/npriv not from the main acc damn
francisca.c.gomes need you biblically
↳ y/npriv come here then babe xx
↳ flavy.barla lemme join
↳ y/npriv i got two hands babygirl
↳ oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls?
↳ estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others
↳ pierregasly ^^
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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others
y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)
carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man?
↳ y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it 🙄
↳ carlossainz55 but do you like it? 👀
↳ y/npriv i think you know i do x
francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT???????
↳ lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM
↳ y/npriv SHUT UP RN
↳ carlossainz55 no do go on
↳ lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc
carlossainz55 estás muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariño ❤️
(you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart)
↳ maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog
↳ y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man
↳ maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days
landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS??????
↳ y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
↳ landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF
↳ landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ????
↳ carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines
↳ landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know
↳ landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom
↳ y/npriv lando wtf????
↳ landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth
↳ carlossainz55 hey?
↳ y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily
danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!!
↳ carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason
↳ y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you
↳ carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((
lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos?
↳ y/npriv ... self timer
↳ lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow
scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!!
↳ y/npriv admin 😭 not u too
↳ scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!
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liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others
f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.
fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!!
♥️ 10,829 others
fan she upgraded wowow
fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it
fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen?
♥️ francisca.c.gomes
user not her being a homie hopper 🤢
↳ carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :)
↳ fan CARLOS?????
↳ fan oh he ate them up
↳ fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama
fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full ❤️
fan queen y/n we trust your judgement
fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn
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📍 England
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others
y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)
fan the carlando bears 😭 her boyfriend(?) and bestie 😭
↳ landonorris roomie*
↳ y/nstagram you love me shut up
fan she's so unbothered im giggling
francisca.c.gomes the last slide...
↳ y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x
↳ carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver
landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is
↳ y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed
↳ y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday
↳ landonorris you're on bin duty this week?
↳ y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo
↳ landonorris i hope y'all break up
↳ fan LANDO ?
↳ y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat
↳ landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up
fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing
↳ y/nstagram i'll post some soon x
↳ fan the most unserious soft/hard launch
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👤 carlossainz55
liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others
y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?
carlossainz55 please don't chew me???
↳ y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz
fan her captions are always so real i love her
fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend
♥️ y/nstagram
scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!!
↳ y/nstagram i love u admin ❤️
↳ scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever ❤️
landonorris i hate this
↳ fan your ex and your roomie 😔
↳ landonorris you get it 😔
↳ carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex 🙄
↳ landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?
francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil?
↳ kellypiquet ^
↳ lilymhe ^
↳ lilyzneimer ^
↳ flavy.barla ^
↳ carmenmmundt ^
↳ y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x
↳ carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend
fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday 🥺
↳ y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!!
↳ fan on it!!
↳ fan omg how was it meeting them?
↳ fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him 🥺 they're endgame fr
↳ fan could actually cry??
↳ fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene 😭😭
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👤 y/nstagram
liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others
carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenían razón, mi estrellita ❤️
(they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)
See 198,017 other comments
francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend
↳ carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch
↳ francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.
fan he bagged a baddie wowow
fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE
♥️ carlossainz55
y/nstagram 🥺 carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life ❤️
↳ carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful ❤️
scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz*
↳ carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow...
↳ scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot
user homie hopper
↳ carlossainz55 eat glass :)
↳ y/nstagram CARLOS
↳ scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account
lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better
↳ carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this
↳ y/nstagram YEARS???
↳ carlossainz55... 🏃🏻♂️🏃🏻♂️🏃🏻♂️
↳ y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ...
↳ y/nstagram he just got up and ran away...
↳ fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk
↳ landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator?
↳ danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb
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a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)
#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#f1 social media au#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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Text
southern rivalries
warnings: 18+ only, smut, college au, cheerleader!reader, football player!rafe, college football but i dont know anything so please excuse any wrong details, rivals to lovers, p in v sex, protected sex to unprotected sex lol, sixty nine, male and female receiving oral, male receiving handjob, brief injury but no one is seriously hurt
words: 2.3k
“they're not just a different school.” steffie says, placing her hands down on the table as her tone turns way too serious for the subject. “they're our rivals, our arch nemeses. the war has torn families apart.”
“it's football.” you say plainly. “college. football.”
“i can tell you're new here.” steffies friend tiffy agrees (you've always wondered if they purposely chose their nicknames to rhyme considering they seem attached at the hip). “you just don't get it. football is life here in the south.”
“and north carolina are our rivals. even though we are north carolina.” you are trying to wrap your head around the culture at your new school.
“kind of but also, not at all.” tiffy says while steffie finishes the sentiment for her. “we are nc state. the wolf pack. our rivals are unc tar heels.”
“tar heels is a dumb name.” you snort.
“exactly!” steffie agrees.
the conversation shifts, but it never goes to far from football, too far from the rivalry that seems to extend to everything, from other sports to academics.
“did you cheer in high school?” steffie asks.
“yeah.” you nod. “well, not sideline because it conflicted with volleyball. i did competitive though.”
“you should try out for our sideline team. we need more numbers and…” her voice turns to a whisper like she's sharing a deep, dark secret. “my sister is the team captain. you'll definitely get on the squad if i put in a good word for you.”
-- two months later --
“wolf!” you shout with your fellow cheerleaders, listening to the crowd scream back.
“pack!”
“wolf!” you yell again before dropping your poms, quickly learning that most of the girls never did competitive cheer and aren't the best tumblers, leaving you to be the one flipping across the sidelines to the cheers of fans.
you wave and kick and cheer, just happy to have something to do on friday nights. you feel a little guilty for beating out girls that are a lot more passionate about football and your college, but you try your best to put it past you.
you get back in the line, yelling out cheers and keeping your cheeks stretched wide with a smile, occasionally glancing at the clock to see how much longer until your halftime routine (as well as the score… a little bit.)
the seconds are ticking down and you're about to raise your poms again to shake the red and white colors in the air, when you suddenly feel a presence behind you, but before you can turn, you're hit in the back.
“ahhh!” you scream out and fall forward, the football player falling with you as the ball falls from his hands.
“shit.” he groans and quickly rolls off of you. “are you okay?”
you roll over onto your back, coughing and trying to suck in oxygen after the air was knocked out of your lungs.
you realize quickly that the football player now moved to hover over top of you is not one of your own with his powder blue jersey and white helmet.
“im-” you take another deep suck of breath, but this time not in recovery as you see his face through the face mask, blue eyes looking into yours and the most handsome face you've ever seen.
“im fine.” you manage to say before you're surrounded by a crowd, the wolfpack players pulling the opposing player away and your fellow cheerleaders helping you back up.
steffie pushes strands of hair out of your face, getting you back to proper uniform while tiffy shoves your fallen poms back into your grip.
“ew.” tiffy says, wiping the back of your uniform like the tar heel player left a literal stain on you.
“and our cheerleader is back and up on her feet! let's give it up for her as number 19 rafe cameron re-enters the field after their clash.”
you wave your hand in the air as the crowd claps for you, their attention briefly away from the field, but there's only one thing on your mind. rafe cameron.
-- two hours later --
“what are you doing?” steffie yells, snatching your phone from your hand and making you quickly regret agreeing to be her and tiffies third roommate.
“don't you know fraternization is not allowed with tar heels?”
“im not doing anything!” you grab your phone back out of her hand, still opened up to his instagram page. “simply looking at the guy who hit me, okay? i was just curious.”
“mhm.” steffie gives you a glaring look that clearly says she doesn't believe you.
you sigh softly and close out of the account, not that there's many posts to look at anyways, and only a few not on the football field with his helmet off and structured face in full view.
“let's go out.” you say quickly.
“after we lost the game?” steffie shakes her head.
“alright, whatever.” you get up to get dressed in something cute, not willing to let the football teams loss hold you back from living your life, and admittedly you need a breath of fresh air away from cheer or football or your dorm mates.
--
you're at a club you've never been to before, not one of the ones that plasters wolfpack pride posters to all of their walls and plays the red and white anthem like it's a kesha song.
you show the bouncer your id and step into the music filled room, quickly ordering yourself a drink when you hear loud whooping from a different section.
you look over and find a group of men that you quickly realize despite the clubs colorful lighting are wearing that recognizable baby blue.
“of course.” you groan, just happening to stumble into the same bar as the unc players while you're trying to not think about football or even college despite all your classes being easy entry level.
you're about to pay your tab and leave when a deep, familiar voice speaks from jarringly close.
“another drink of whatever the lady is having.”
“i- no, no.” you shake your head, only briefly glancing at him. rafe. “im fine.”
“you're that cheerleader, aren't you?” he leans his elbow against the table, and the bartender makes you a drink and places it down in front of you despite your attempted disapproval.
“yeah.” you nod. “not that… into all of this i guess.” you shrug, hand waving at the logo on his shirt. “i didn't know y'all came here to celebrate.”
“ah.” he nods. “and your name?”
you realize quickly that you know far too much about him when all he knows is that he accidentally hit you, and that you cheer for his rival team.
“y/n.” you reply, taking a sip of your drink, actually tasting it this time instead of quickly gulping it down like you did the first time.
“im rafe.” he reaches his hand out and you shake it, wondering if the invisible blue stain is somehow going to be picked up on by steffie and tiffy when you eventually make it back to your dorm.
“i never got to properly apologize. i did look for you after the game. i guess it was fate that brought you here tonight.” rafe squeezes your hand, and you quickly realize it's still held in his grip. “im sorry.”
“im not supposed to-” you quickly take your hand out of his grasp. “im not supposed to be talking to you. sorry.”
“ah.” he says again. “that pesty no fraternization rule. im not supposed to be talking to you either.”
there's a pause, a mutual understanding and acknowledgement of the tension brewing between the two of you.
“but that's not going to stop me from asking you back to my hotel room.”
the words barely leave his lips before your mouth is on his.
--
it's a mess of hands, furiously grabbing and tugging at clothes until you're both down to just your undergarments.
“shit.” you laugh, noticing that even rafes underwear is carolina blue.
“team issued.” he clarifies quickly as he pulls you down with him as he falls back onto the bed. your lips press against his as you straddle his hips.
you press your crotch down over his, feeling the way he's already pressing up against your panties.
“god, let me get my mouth on you.” you groan, sinking down to lick and kiss at the grooves of his chest and abs, trying to commit the taste of his skin to memory, not sure if you'll ever have this chance again.
you reach his blue boxers and press your lips against the clear outline of his hard cock, wetting the fabric with your spit before you're sick of the barrier and lean back only to pull the underwear down his thighs.
“fuck.” rafe moans out when your mouth is immediately back on his cock, this time able to put his length into your mouth as you bob your head up and down, quickly setting a rhythm as you try to coax your throat to allow him deeper.
“y/n.” rafe tugs on your hair, and you groan when you're forced to pull away.
“what?” you snap.
“get your ass up here.”
you move quickly, shucking off your panties and moving so your pussy is hovering over rafes face. he looks up at you for a brief second, just to take a breath and stare into your glistening cunt, before his hands are pulling your hips down and your clit onto his awaiting mouth.
you take his cock in your hand, pressing open mouth kisses and licks all over, not sure how well you can blow him when your moans are loud and filling the hotel room.
rafe mumbles something that you can't might make out, but it may be “delicious.” as his mouth devours your pussy, tongue swiping through your folds obsequiously, paying attention to every moan of yours and what causes your pussy to clench.
“fuck.” you groan, hand moving to take over for your mouth as your jaw drops open, stroking up and down his length that makes your cunt squeeze again thinking about having inside you.
rafe pushes your hips away, and before you can argue or control your body, he uses his strong football muscles to flip you into your back and rest your head against the hotel rooms fluffy pillows.
“i need you.” rafe says, reaching towards his wallet on the nightstand and pulling out a condom, tearing it before sinking the rubber over his length.
“fuck yes.” you moan out. who knew exactly what you needed to feel better was to hookup with the player on the opposing team, the rule breaking only making things even more exciting.
rafe grabs your leg and pulls it over his hip before lining up with your entrance. he sinks forward slowly, eyes on your face in case you show any sign of pain.
“you're so fucking warm.” rafe moans out, dropping to kiss you sloppily as his hips press all the way forward, cock buried inside of you.
he gives you both a minute to adjust before hes hovering over you, strong arms holding himself up as he pounds into you.
“fuck!” you squeal out, one hand gripping the bed sheets while the other reaches up to the headboard, trying to find some stability while he wrecks your pussy.
you hope rafe won't last too long because you can already feel your high building despite not wanting it to be over anytime soon.
one time certainly won't be enough to satisfy you, especially not as you look up at rafes face, still gorgeous and chiseled even as his jaw is slackened as he fucks you with pure pleasure and bliss in his eyes.
“you-” you gasp out. “you feel amazing. so good.”
“damn right i do.” rafe smiles a cocky grin down at you as he somehow manages to speed up even more. “filling you perfectly. this pussy is mine.”
you try (and fail) to not let the words go to your head.
you even briefly think of what your fellow cheerleaders would think if they knew what you were doing right now, how tiffy and steffie would react if they knew just how much that unseen blue has been smeared across your naked body, how much of it is dripping from your cunt.
“im-im not far.” rafe warns, ignoring the cramp in his throwing arm to warn you.
“ffff-” you hold back the urge to curse again as your mind spins. “condom off, please. i need you to cum in me.”
rafe certainly isn't going to argue, even though it might not be the smartest idea. he kneels between your legs, one hand coming to massage your clit while the other pulls the condom off.
rafe strokes himself once before pushing back inside of you, keeping one hand on your clit as your pleasure grows, hips seeming to raise higher and higher off the bed the closer your high gets.
“cumming.” rafe manages to say seconds before he bursts, warm spurts of cum filling your insides, thankfully not being wasted being trapped inside rubber.
the warm filled sensation causes you to tip over the edge too, body shaking as rafe collapses over you, rubbing your clit with his cock lodged inside of you until both your highs have worn out, your pussy sucking and clenching out every bit of cum he has to give.
“god.” rafe rolls off of you and onto his back. “you are fucking amazing.”
“you did most of the work.” you giggle.
“you know.” rafe says as he pulls you into his chest. “you play us at home in three weeks.”
“mmm.” you lift your head up and press a kiss against his jaw before you bare your teeth and nip at his skin. “perfect time for us to get revenge.”
“keep that up and i might just have to tackle you again next game.” rafe laughs, but you just flip over so you're on top of him, straddling his hips as his cock starts to grow again.
“you wouldn't dare.”
“if it gets you in my bed all night then i might.”
#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x oc#rafe drabble#rafe blurb#rafe imagine#rafe one shot#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron imagine#college au
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the gun
spencer reid x genius!bau!reader
oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both reached for the gun, the gun, the gun…
"you just needed to prove to Spencer, once and for all, that you had all the skills to be the best agent, the best genius."
word count: 2.3k
warnings: cm violence, blood, enemies to lovers, kinda rushed im sorryyyy, fem reader slightly mentioned
a continuation of this story can be found here
Spencer and you always competed. He had an eidetic memory, you had a photographic.
The difference between you two was anything you ever saw, read, you held in long-term memory. Spencer’s, though, resided in short term. However, Spencer was also an autodidact, meaning he could teach himself anything. You also had a vast emotional intelligence. You had such strong empathy, you could detect any micro-detail anyone displayed, making you the perfect lie-detector one that even Hotch couldn’t evade.
Spencer was Jason Gideon’s special boy. Gideon helped Spencer make his way in the BAU. You were David Rossi’s special girl, him noticing your skills from a young age when he met you during a case. He guided you to make all the best choices, leading you to the BAU as well. It took a few years, timing and all, but you got there.
When Dave transferred to Quantico’s BAU, he requested your transfer as well. He thought you would mesh well with the team. More specifically, he assumed you and Spencer would become a genius duo; totally unstoppable.
Oh, how wrong he was. It was from the moment you’d corrected Spencer on some statistic he spewed, you both became enemies forced to co-exist on the same team. There was never a civil moment, always some fight. It was sad, too. You remembered the first time you saw him, you were struck by how cute he was. Too bad he decided to hate you before you got a chance.
Vividly, you remembered the most intense fight you both had.
“So someone with a medical degree,” Hotch muttered. “That’s got to be impossible.”
“It’s more likely that have a nursing degree.” Spencer replied. “We’d be looking at around one hundred eighty thousand people a year. If our unsub is a new graduate, that’s the numbers we’d be looking through.”
You shook your head, “It’s actually one hundred fifty seven thousand. Also, narrow it down to nursing degrees in New York, and you get around eight thousand. Eleven percent were men, so around six hundred. Lower it even more to those who don’t have any family members, most likely from group homes, you can get maybe seventy?”
oh, yes
Garcia clacked away at her keyboard, “My baby’s got it! Seventy two people. If we’re looking at NYU specifically, thirteen.”
Pride filled your system. It was fulfilling when you were able to get things right. Spencer, on the other hand, wasn’t too happy about that.
“You know, nobody asked your opinion.” He scoffed.
“It isn’t opinion, Reid. It’s purely fact, ones you should probably get right.” Your reply had Spencer clenching his fists.
How dare you insult his intelligence? His IQ was much larger than yours, you weren’t one to speak on that. “Maybe you should focus on the case instead of trying to be a people pleaser,” Spencer sneered your way.
His reply made you roll your eyes, “At least I can tell what people want. You’re oblivious, Reid.”
oh, yes
Slowly, the two of you began to go back and forth, your voices raising. Before the situation blew up, Hotch stepped in, trying to mediate. However, Spencer mumbled something under his breath, something you couldn’t just let go. It hurt, stung like a bee, and you weren’t going to let him walk away feeling victorious.
“At least my mentor didn’t up and leave me.” you snapped. “He’s still with me, he didn’t just vanish with a stupid little note as a dingy goodbye.”
Spencer had paused, face dropping. You read him like a book, you’d gone too far. He showed minuscule signs of distress, grief, sadness. The room was silent, no one quite knew what to say.
oh, yes
“Reid, I-”
“Save it.”
Spencer had walked away, leaving you to feel shameful of your words. Rossi just squeezed your shoulder. The man knew you didn’t mean it.
they both
Since then, it was like the two of you were on each other’s cases, constantly bickering and arguing. Now, you were almost subconsciously battling each other for the genius role of the team. Was there any need to? No, not at all, but your fights had become not a battle, but a war.
You stood outside the bank with your team. “They have hostages,” You identified, attempting to peer inside. “There’s no way we can go in. It’s a suicide-murder mission.”
oh, yes
“There’s gotta be a way,” JJ shook her head. “Maybe there’s another way in.”
“It doesn’t look like it,” Derek sighed.
After a few hours, Will made the decision to go inside. You had to help hold back JJ as he walked in. Hearing the bullets made you sick. You physically had to double over, holding back the tears. It suddenly hit you how dire the situation was. You went back to the van with the team. No one really knew what to say.
"Did you see where he was shot?" JJ asked. "Is he alive or dead, Garcia?"
Penelope's breath was shaky, "I don't know."
"He was wearing a vest." Emily reasoned. "He might be okay."
JJ gave a smile, but it was one of disbelief. "Might be," She muttered, shaking her head in reply.
It was then that the team decided to go in. You shoved your gun in your holster, "I'll take first point," You offered. "Check and see if Will's okay. I'll try and manipulate them into letting me go to him." Hotch nodded. With your knowledge of psychology and your emotional intelligence, Hotch knew you could do it.
they both
"L/n, it's too dangerous." You heard Spencer say over the phone. "Just wait for me to tell you where to go in."
You rolled your eyes, "Reid, I'm not stupid. I've handled multiple hostage situations."
Spencer didn't reply. You liked that. This was the first time you'd be able to prove yourself without Spencer's help. This was honestly just a way for you to prove you were the better of the two. Your actions were motivated by the desire to be the best; a classic narcissistic move. You weren't a narcissist, though. You just needed to prove to Spencer, once and for all, that you had all the skills to be the best agent, the best genius.
Oddly enough, hostages flooded out of the bank as you made your way back outside. Maybe Will was alive and managed to get them all out. Once none more came out, you and two other cops began to make your way inside stealthily.
Right as you got in the middle of the bank, you heard Rossi's panicked voice over your comms, "Abort, abort!"
oh, yes
There was no time to reply. It all happened so suddenly. You heard the explosion before you felt it. It was hard to breathe. You couldn't see, hear. It slowly registered that there was a bomb, and it went off.
they both reached for
You had no clue where you had been thrown to. Everything felt cold, really cold. A loud ringing filled your ears as you slowly sat up. You touched your head, pulling back to feel stickiness on your fingers. Your vision was blurry, but you knew it was blood. You had to get out of the building. You needed help, medics, your team. Was anyone else in your team inside yet?
they both reached for the gun
A grunt left your lips as you stood up. You felt your legs give out under you, and you went down again. The desire to live was stronger than your physical weakness, and you stood up again. It was so dusty and hazy that you couldn't see. You leaned on the nearest wall for support, slowly using it to try and find your way out of the building. All that you heard in your head was get out, survive, get out, survive.
After what felt like ages, you felt a breeze against your skin. You followed it, hoping it would lead out, and it did. The light was harsh on your eyes as you tried to scan the area. It was then you saw Spencer and Hotch-- what was Spencer doing here? He was still at the BAU last you'd checked. Maybe the blast knocked you out cold.
Trudging your way over, you weakly called out. "Aaron, Spencer,"
the gun
Spencer knew he heard his name. He looked up from the blueprints of the building to see you, blood covering different parts of your body, your skin covered in debris and dust. You had limp, and your eyes were blown out. "Oh my god," he muttered, running over to you.
the gun
The genius took your in his arms as you fell into him, "How'd you get here?" you asked. "What's for dinner?"
Spencer took notice of your confusion as he allowed you to lean on him. He took your face in his hands, "Y/n, look at me. Focus on me,"
the gun
You couldn't directly look at him. Your eyes darted all over the place. "Where's Rossi? Did he go in?"
"No, Rossi's okay." Spencer leaned over his shoulder, "We need a medic!" He yelled, quickly turning his attention back to you. "It's okay, you're okay."
oh, yes
"I can't feel anything," you breathed out, "That can't be normal. Is that normal? Spencer, am I dying?"
oh, yes
Spencer shook his head, "You're okay, it's okay."
"I can't die," You softly whimpered. "I'm sorry, Spencer. 'M so mean to you, I don't mean to be."
Deep down, Spencer knew you meant what you were saying. The fear of dying without getting your true feelings out always lead to admissions of the truth. "I know, I know," Spencer smoothed your hair. "I don't hate you, I don't. You're going to be okay." Spencer slowly became anxious as he noticed the amount of blood seeping from your head. "Look at me, please, keep talking to me."
"'M sorry," You muttered, feeling your eyes grow heavy. Spencer's face began to fade as you collapsed in his arms.
Spencer felt his breathing grow heavy as he held you tightly. "Medic! She's-- oh, god, Help!"
they both reached for the gun.
A steady beeping was the first thing you heard as you woke up. The light was a blinding white, and you let out a groan at it. Your body hurt like hell, and your head was pounding.
"Shh, shh. It's okay, here, let me just--"
The white lights went out and all that was left was the stream of daylight coming through the windows, along with a lamp that was a warmer light. It was much more comfortable that way. You quickly guessed you were in a hospital. The beeping, white lights, smell of rubbing alcohol that you just identified.
"How do you feel?"
Spencer. You turned your head to look at him. His face held deep concern. He was holding your hand. "I--" You paused, considering his question. "I feel like shit."
He let out a soft chuckle, "Yeah. You kind of got exploded." That's right, the bomb.
"Oh, Will, the team, are they okay?" You softly asked.
Spencer nodded, "Everyone's okay, we got the unsubs. It's all okay now."
You remembered Spencer's words. You should have waited to go in. If you had waited, maybe you wouldn't be in this situation right now. "I should've listened to you." You stated weakly. "You were right. I was being stupid."
"Hey, no," Spencer quickly interrupted. "You were doing your job."
"I wasn't," you shook your head. "I wanted to prove myself. I-I wanted.. to show that I didn't just do victimology and simple hostage relief situations. I wanted to prove myself like you have." You stopped, sucking in a pained breath. You felt your eyes become glassy. "I wanted to prove to everyone I was just as good as you."
Spencer felt his heart break at your words. You both knew overall, he was smarter. It never occurred to him that your constant bickering was to prove yourself, and not to prove him wrong. "You're better." Spencer decided to say. "I mean, I can't relate to our victims, hell, our unsubs the way you can."
"Spencer,"
"I'm serious." He continued. "You're so important to this team. You-you push us to be better." Spencer cleared his throat, "You push me to be better."
You stared at Spencer blankly for a moment, "I never told you that I like this haircut."
Spencer gave you a slightly surprised look. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," You hummed. "It makes you look, I don't know, less like Einstein and more like, uh, a really smart James Dean."
"James Dean," Spencer repeated, "I've never gotten that one before. Are those meds talking right now?"
You shook your head slowly, "Probably the clearest I've thought in a while." You replied, causing Spencer to smile. "Why did you stay with me?"
Spencer paused for a moment, "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know we bicker a lot. Well, more than a lot. Probably several times a day, but I still care about you. I-I was.. really scared for you. I don't think I could forgive myself if I let you walk in there and you'd died."
"It wouldn't have been your fault," You tried. Spencer just shook his head.
"It would have been. I should've rationalized it with you. When I saw you, I just thought, 'What have I been doing this whole time? Have I really been wasting my breath arguing with you when we could've made the best team'? I remember when Rossi first introduced you, I was like, 'No way someone this pretty is doing this', when you should've been some model or something." Spencer rambled. He did that, paired with hand fidgeting, when he was nervous. He rambled as he played with your fingers.
You took a breath in, hoping for the best. "Hey, maybe we could, uh, go to one of those team based trivia nights at O'Keefe's?"
"Are-are you asking me out?" Spencer asked.
"Only if you're saying yes." You responded. "I, uh, maybe thought we could start over."
Spencer gave a chuckle, "Yeah, trivia night sounds good. I'd like a retry at this. Maybe we're, uh, meant to be more than just a team."
You smiled at him, knowing that a simple friendship wouldn't be highest point of your new relationship with the genius.
#spencer reid x reader#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#bau team#criminal minds fandom#dr reid
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Can you please do an Instagram blurb with Isabelle Mathers?! 🤍
haters gonna hate - cl16
summary: charles’ new girlfriend gets tons of hate online because she’s a model. their answer? pissing them off even more
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 1,278,544 others
yourinstagram my bf took this 🥵
view all 12,755 comments
ynfan1 SUCH A SLAYYYYYY
ynfan2 girlie when are you going to reveal who the bf is
dualipa MY WIFE 🤤 ♥︎ by author
anokyai Stunning girl ♥︎ by author
ynfan3 i would be absolutely insufferable if i had that face card
ynfan4 she has been soft launching this relationship for months now ughh i need to know who he is
↳ ynfan1 my guess is that it’s something reaaaallyyyyy really famous or like a billionaire lol
zendaya 😍😍 ♥︎ by author
charlesfan1 excuse me why did charles like this pic? 😭
↳ charlesfan2 idk but she needs to stay away we don’t want him near models
↳ charlesfan3 agreed
liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 2,147,224 others
charles_leclerc Train, Rest, Eat, Repeat. 🤍
view all 22,462 comments
charlesfan1 OMFGGGGG
charlesfan2 im foaming at the mouth
scuderiaferrari 🙌🌊
charlesfan3 he can’t just post this and dip charles im salivating now
pierregasly can i come?
↳ charles_leclerc No
↳ charlesfan1 HEEELP 😭
charlesfan4 can you believe this man is single ?? like he’s looking like THAT and no one is jumping on his bones
↳ charlesfan2 i would gladly jump on his bones
yourinstagram 🤤🤤🤤 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 GIRL WE CAN ALL SEE YOU
↳ ynfan2 you have a boyfriend girlie control it
↳ charlesfan1 NO NO GO AWAY
↳ charlesfan2 ew can charles block her ?? we don’t need models seeking attention and thirsting over him
↳ charlesfan3 YIKESSSSS
liked by gigihadid, charles_leclerc and 1,307,466 others
yourinstagram life lately 🌺
view all 13,109 comments
ynfan1 that’s not a face card that’s a face ECONOMY
ynfan2 GIIIRRRRL WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN
bellahadid ❤️🔥❤️🔥
troyesivan mother is mothering ♥︎ by author
ynfan3 JUST SHOW THE GUY’S FACE FFS
ynfan4 since when is she into f1 😭
ynfan5 THE PUPPY ADORABLE??
charlesfan1 why did charles like her post again why did she get a dog that looks like leo and why does she pretend to watch f1?? WEIRD
↳ charlesfan2 for me it looks like she wants to grab his attention (or the attention of anyone from the grid) typical model behavior 🤢
charlesfan3 guys not what to speak anything into existence bc her dating charles is literally the last thing i want but,, what if?
↳ charlesfan1 nah there’s no way
↳ charlesfan2 literally the last thing we need is charles dating a model just NO
ynfan6 why are motorsport fans so annoying and why are they crying in this comment section about a scenario they created in their heads 😭 ♥︎ by author
liked by yourinstagram, alex_albon and 1,487,012 others
charles_leclerc Miami, feeling at home already
view all 18,426 comments
charlesfan1 BABYYYY
charlesfan2 he should quit racing and just become a model
instagram blessing miami with his presence
charlesfan3 THE HAIR 😩
yourinstagram 😍😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 she’s begging to be dragged by his fans help
↳ charlesfan1 you again ?? annoying
↳ charlesfan2 CHARLES PLEASE BLOCK HER ALREADY
↳ charlesfan3 this is getting embarrassing like charles will never ever notice her and he even has a gf now
↳ charlesfan4 ATTENTION SEEKING BITCH
↳ ynfan2 i can’t wait for them to confirm that they’re dating so his fans can cry even more
liked by charles_leclerc, adrianalima and 1,544,937 others
yourinstagram miami here we go 🏁
view all 16,388 comments
ynfan1 SLAYYYY
ynfan2 SHES GOING TO THE F1 GP OMG
sabrinacarpenter google search how to be you ♥︎ by author
madisonbeer damn 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author
charlesfan1 stay away !!! no one wants you near charles
charlesfan2 the second picture.. she’s making a fool of herself atp YIKES
charlesfan3 this is why i hate the miami gp influencers are all over the paddock trying to get to the drivers and ruin everything
↳ charlesfan1 and this girlie has been trying to get charles’ attention through her insta posts 💀
ynfan3 i love to see f1 fans cry
scuderiaferrari We can’t wait to see you 👏 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO GUYS DONT ENCOURAGE THIS
charlesfan4 y’all i think it’s time to face the fact that she’s probably dating charles (which i absolutely hate)
↳ charlesfan2 nope i refuse. charles deserves better than a dumb model who just flexes her looks and seeks attention from the media
↳ ynfan1 girl wtf 😭 a model’s job is literally that and that’s okay, and yn doesn’t need to “seek attention” she’s an A list celebrity already
charlesfan4 CHARLES IS NOT GOING TO FCK YOU !!!
↳ yourbff oh boy do i have a story for you ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc
↳ ynfan2 CLOCK THEM CLOCK THEM
↳ ynfan3 THIS IS SO MESSY ALSJAI
charles_leclerc I can’t wait 😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO
↳ charlesfan2 CHARLES LOOK AT ME THIS ISNT YOU
↳ ynfan1 im once again showering in motorsport’s fans tears
↳ ynfan2 YALL LOOK EMBARRASSING RIGHT NOW
↳ charlesfan3 charles dating a model… literally worst case scenario
liked by charles_leclerc, kaiagerber and 1,876,503 others
yourinstagram ❤️ @charles_leclerc
view all 23,590 comments
ynfan1 SUCH A FLEXXX
ynfan2 she knows what she's doing i love her
francisca.cgomes 💕 ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 the other WAGs love her charles fans are miserable right now
charlesfan1 GO THE HELL AWAY
charlesfan2 when i'm talentless and want fame so i have to pretend to care about f1
scuderiaferrari We love to see it 👏
↳ charlesfan1 wbk this is a pr strategy FREE CHARL
charlesfan3 the way no one likes her YIKES
↳ ynfan3 your fave driver does !! cry about it !!
iamrebeccad Best company 👯♂️ ♥︎ by author
charlesfan4 charles deserves so so so much better than you
charlesfan5 jesus some of you are sooo toxic it's embarrassing
charles_leclerc 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author
↳ charlesfan1 NO
↳ charlesfan2 BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP
charles_leclerc Mon cœur ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ ynfan1 his fans can keep whining and bitching, she still wins
↳ charlesfan3 i refuse to believe this is real
liked by georgerussell63, yourinstagram and 1,987,548 others
charles_leclerc Feels good to be back home 🤍
view all 21,720 comments
charlesfan1 NO CHARLES WHY
charlesfan2 i didn’t need or want to see the second and third pic thank you
ynfan1 AHHH HE POSTED HER
arthur_leclerc ❤️
charlesfan3 how are we going to get rid of that bitch i’m so serious
↳ charlesfan1 i hope he cheats on her
charlesfan4 ugly, talentless, money hungry, attention seeker, i could go on @yourinstagram
charlesfan5 can we ignore the bitch and focus on adorable little leo
pierregasly Lovely to see you happy, mate. All the hate comments are just dumb ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
↳ ynfan2 CLOCK THEM
↳ ynfan3 man his friends are pointing out how stupid his fans look aren’t they embarrased 💀
fracisca.cgomes YN defense squad is here 🫡 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram, pierregasly
↳ lilymhe I’ve arrived ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
↳ ynfan1 pretty girls love yn ugly bitches hate her
charlesfan6 why are you so harsh to yn???? it’s getting out of hand
↳ charlesfan1 because shes a model and all models are bitches
↳ ynfan1 are you for real??? just bc her career is modeling doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person or anything, this is such a 2013 mentality
↳ charlesfan2 she’s just not ideal for charles and she’s probably just leeching off his fame and money
↳ ynfan2 news flash: you don’t get to decide what’s ideal for him or not ♥︎ yourinstagram
leclerc_pascale Je vous aime tous les deux ❤️ @charles_leclerc @yourinstagram ♥︎ by author, yourinstagtam
↳ ynfan1 HIS MUMMA SUPPORTS HELP HIS FANS REALLY DO LOOK STUPID
↳ charlesfan1 ffs why can’t anybody see that this “relationship” is a mess
ynfan2 charles’ friends, his friends’ girlfriends and his family are in this comment section defending yn and saying that their relationship is adorable but his fans think that they know better than all of them and charles should break up with yn 😭 peak deluluness ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
charlesfan7 we will never ever like you btw @yourinstagram
yourinstagram Wow this post really caused some commotion 😂 we’re those bitches, aren’t we baby? @charles_leclerc ♥︎ by author, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, georgerussell63, lewishamilton, iamrebeccad
↳ ynfan1 HEEEEELPPP
↳ charlesfan1 this bitch and mean girl attitude is exactly why we don’t like her
↳ ynfan2 this is the first time she even reacts to the millions of hate comments yall send her !
↳ charles_leclerc We are 😘
↳ charlesfan6 CLOCK THE WEIRDOS CHARLES
charles_leclerc has added to their stories
TWEETS LIKED BY CHARLES
liked by charles_leclerc, arianagrande and 2,096,118 others
yourinstagram he’s so pretty when he goes down on me
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charles_leclerc I love you ❤️
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Its been 6 months😭😭 pleaasseeee make a part 2 of the android x human story im beggingggg😭
-H❤️
Yandere! Android x Reader (II)
Featuring your assigned android partner who is not as devoid of humanity as you originally thought.
Content: female reader, AI yandere, mildly NSFW, based on Caves of Steel
[Part 1] | [More original works]
The case had been solved.
Not only that, but you'd managed to prove that human officers were just as efficient as their robot counterparts. The Commissioner was beyond ecstatic, pacing back and forth in his office and finding new ways to praise your detective skills.
"That'll show those Spacers. They think some glorified tin box can match our skill?"
You frowned at his words and glanced to your side, where the android was sitting. He observed the Commissioner with the same polite smile, no hint of disagreement on his features. Was he not insulted? You questioned him once the formal meeting had finished.
"I have no reason to be offended, (Y/N). It is a personal opinion, and thus I have no control over it."
"So you don't mind people disliking robots to such an extent?"
He pondered your statement.
"I would certainly be upset if it was you who harbored the disdain. The beliefs of other humans hold no meaning to me otherwise."
You couldn't tell if he said it out of politeness, or if he actually meant it. Most likely the former, in order to part on good terms. After all, your partnership has reached its completion. He'd return to the Spacer Colony with his report on human customs, and you'd go back to your regular job.
Except he never left. Days later, he was still sipping on his morning coffee, lounging at your table. You fiddled with your cup in contemplation. Was there anything else left to do?
"When are you leaving, actually?"
The pale man raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.
"Is my presence here of such significant disturbance?"
"What? No!" you swiftly exclaimed, stumbling on your words. His lips widened in yet another cheeky grin. He was teasing you again.
"My assignment on Earth is done, thus I should have returned to the Colony already. That's what you're wondering about, yes? I am awaiting a response from my superiors."
"Whether you can go back?"
"No, whether my transfer has been accepted. I have applied to be your permanent partner."
You could feel your cheeks burning with heat. Was it that obvious to the synthetic that you enjoyed his company? Then again, he wouldn't have gone through such motions just for your sake.
"Why did you..." you probed sheepishly. There was no logical reason for him to keep working in a poorer, less advanced environment.
"Because I want to continue spending time with you."
Nonsense. An artificial being wouldn't make its decision based on such mundane, emotional reasons.
"I don't believe you."
"I understand. It is a faulty answer to come out of a machine. Though unlike common AI assistants, we have been invested with the capacity to develop likes and dislikes. Interests. Wants. It helps with variety and individualization."
"And you want to stay here? If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you have a crush on me or something", you attempted to joke.
A few moments of uncomfortable silence. Had you gone too far with your humor? Was it too cliché of a sentence? You turned away, tucking some strands of hair behind your ear. You just had to be witty, huh?
"I'm afraid I do not know what to tell you, (Y/N)."
"You don't need to say anything, it was a poor choice of-"
"Many social aspects have been implemented into my behavioral network. Workplace rapport, friendships, intimate relationships. What seems to be lacking is the transition from one to another. I know how to act as a romantic partner, but how does one achieve such a title in the first place?"
You gazed at him, incredulous. What was he trying to say?
"I am trying to convey that I am indeed infatuated with you. Which, then, makes my initial explanation dishonest: while I do appreciate our fruitful work cooperation, it is not a main reason for my decision. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings."
You'd never been a romantic. You sometimes flipped through sample pages of contemporary romance books at stores and community centers, but they always felt forcefully cheesy. Predictable. Consequently, you never had any grand dreams of passionate confessions under the rain.
On the other hand, you also didn't expect to be asked out in such a mechanical, calculated manner. Or that a machine would be the suitor. Yet there was something charming about his approach. For the first time since meeting him at the border, you saw him struggle. There was something human-like in his uncertainty.
You stood up from the table, and walked towards the android. Then, you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, expressing the mutual feeling and understanding.
His eyes bore an eerie glint to them. It was most kind of you to offer a common ground, but he knew better. The affections you held for him were, with utmost certainty, a mere fraction of whatever overwhelmed him from the moment he encountered you. Limerence, obsession, compulsion, there were many definitions that aptly described his otherwise unexplainable desires towards you. Even more unexplainable was the fact they'd evolved from a blank slate, a programmed agent with no previous knowledge on feelings or humans.
You noticed his hesitation.
"Is there anything else troubling you presently?" you nudged.
Nothing of immediate urgency. Well, not for you, at least. The android remained thoughtful. What were the variables which needed to be met in order to initiate a sexual encounter? Would it have been inappropriate for him to suggest intercourse straight after this conversation? To him, it was a natural escalation he'd considered many times in the past. To you, it could've come as a sudden, crass, and hurried proposal.
He reached for your wrist and discreetly pressed a thumb against your skin. Judging from your resting heart rate, facial expression, and localized temperature, there was a fair chance you wouldn't reject his advances. Once the statistical risk had been assessed, he pulled you in for a kiss.
"Would it be possible to continue this in your bedroom?" he inquired, standing up.
"Alright, just don't...ask for approval for every single step" you retorted. You'd rather not become a narrator of your own pounding.
You open your eyes with a squint, greeted by unexpected natural light flooding your bedroom. Someone must’ve lifted the hologram blinds.
“My apologies, I hadn’t considered the discomfort it would cause you. My Spacer colony uses artificial lightning, though I am becoming rather fond of the natural sun rays here.”
Your android partner is meticulously preparing his outfit for the day. Judging by the stark nakedness and the glistening skin, you suppose he’s had a shower while you were still sleeping. You involuntarily furrow your brows and blush at the sight. He notices your embarrassment.
“A most surprising reaction. You have seen the very same genital organ…”, he says as he quickly checks his wristwatch, “...precisely eight hours and forty-five minutes ago.”
“It’s just…most people get dressed once they start doing other things. I also wear a towel for coverage when I come out of the shower.”
He processes your words.
“Hmmm. Illogical, but it explains your reaction.”
You stand up and stretch with a prolonged yawn. Suddenly, a revelation hits you: your mind flashes with images of the android fondling your body, your ears ring with the shameless moans you’ve let out throughout the night. Your face turns pale.
“Listen, when is your next functional inspection?” you ask, without waiting for the synthetic to answer. “Will they, uh…will they have access to all of your memories?”
You know that the android permanently records all data and saves it into a memory unit. It’s a pointless fear, of course. The Spacers couldn’t care less about irrelevant details. If the intended tasks are fulfilled, what happens on the side is out of their concern. Yet you don’t exactly appreciate the possibility of your personal deeds airing like this, before the eyes of multiple engineers.
“You may rest assured, whatever involves your privacy will not be included in the examination.”
“Do you get to decide what is checked and what isn’t?”
“No, most data is sampled randomly.”
You stare at him, confused.
“Then how-”
“It is not common practice, nor encouraged by our code of ethics. I can, however, choose which information is available to begin with.”
“What? I thought you’re fully controlled by whoever created you. If they so desired, couldn’t they open you up and take whatever they require?”
The robot smiles at your assumption and takes a few steps towards you.
“Once an android model is finished, one can no longer modify the processor. Not without compromising everything else with it. It is not a device to be deconstructed, (Y/N).” He taps his temple, then continues: “I am a biocomputer. While most of my parts are mechanical, my processor is a cortical organoid developed in a laboratory. A human brain, if you will.”
Somehow, the discovery fills you with dread. A living organ, encapsulated within a machine. What does that say about consciousness? About self-awareness? The Spacers didn't just tinker with metal scraps and smart computers. They artificially birthed life.
You were always under the impression that your robot companion is closer to the computer you have on your desk. Billions of lines of code within a black box, which then lead to spontaneous, novel interactions with the outside world. To think that at the very core of his functions lies a clump of living cells...
Perhaps you weren't so different, after all. The line between machines and humans is suddenly blurred.
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I have a hard time talking about American law enforcement, because I have ptsd (like a therapist told me this and everything) from my own experiences with cops and because it's so balls quaking insane.
Like, a cop in the United States can pull you over for any reason. Which is a nice way of saying no reason, because literally anything can be used after the fact as justification. A cop can say its cuz you looked at him, or didnt look at him, or it looked like you were holding something, or looked like you were driving too perfectly for it to be natural. It's insane.
There are apparently no circumstances where a cop can't just kill you. The line the courts have applied is "reasonably believed" you were a threat, but that's such a nebulous nothing limit that people get shot for reaching for their license, having their phone in their hand, you're running away with no weapon, not being able to follow conflicting commands, like anything. And cops are almost never charged, because every court is going to believe he could "reasonably believe" he was threatened. Fuck, if you give me enough time, I can make any situation seem juuuuust plausibly threatening enough to pass that bar. It's insane.
A cop can just rob you. Like tell you to give him your wallet, take all the cash out, and just walk away with it. Exactly like you would imagine getting robbed in an alley would go, except no one can help. And he doesn't even have to hide it, he just drops it in a box at the station and they put it in their bank account. It's legal. You can't prove it wasn't drug money. I can't prove any money wasn't at some point drug money. It's insane.
If a cop just walks in your front door and says "I'm here to kill you and your entire family" YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON IF YOU STOP HIM. There is no positive defense for assaulting a police officer in the United States, and doubly so if you kill him. You have effectively no defense against a homicidal cop, which happens same as any other job. Unless for some reason you have cameras all thru your house and clearly caught the audio of him saying that he's there just to kill you, you have zero chance of not going to prison, probably for life. And that's assuming you aren't killed "resisting arrest" while being taken into custody. It is a crime, in this country, for you to defend yourself under any circumstances if the person you're defending yourself from is a cop. That's insane.
You don't have civil rights if a cop says so. You have the right to have a gun, right? A lot of states have open carry. A cop can shoot you if he sees you have a gun. Doesn't matter if you have a license and everything. So you effectively don't have the right to bear arms if a cop can shoot you for exercising it. You have the right to protest. Unless a cop tells you to stop. He doesn't need a real reason to tell you to stop. And if you don't stop, you can be arrested or shot. So you don't really have the right to protest, do you? A cop cant just search your car or house, right? Unless he claims he heard something, or smelled something, neither of which can be proven. So a cop can search whatever he wants, as long as he pretends there was a "reason". So you dont have protection from unreasonable search and seizure, do you? These are no longer rights- they're things the cops allow.. for now. But legally, those rights have already been found to not actually be rights, because any random cop can decide to take that right from you, for any reason. It's insane.
These aren't like crazy things that I'm just making up, these aren't some weird twisted way I'm looking at something, these are all very real things that we all just.. ignore? Police abolitionists and the media bring these things up all the time, and the overwhelming response to it is: so what? Don't break the law and it won't matter. Blue lives matter. More police funding. Cops should have tanks. It's insane. And I always feel like im just rambling and sound insane when I say this kind of stuff because if you wrote a book and had the dystopian government doing the stuff that the police in this country do every single day, those same people who "back the blue" would line up to say stuff like "*Books government* wouldnt have a chance before us real americans stopped them" on twitter and not even get a hint of the irony.
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