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janaelalfysloml · 2 days ago

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you’re gonna go far - pazzi x reader

a/n: okay this is based off a thing that @starlighttsv posted ! this story is gonna have things abt suicide , mental health and all of that stuff so if your not comfortable please dont read ! ilysm and if anybody needs anything im here or you can text or call 988 !

warnings: maybe typos? , suicide , death , mental health , grief , antidepressants

November 18th, 2024

you’ve always had mental health issues, but never like this. you’re psychiatrist prescribed you lexapro to help with your depression & anxiety , but they haven’t helped. you’ve talked to paige and azzi about you mental health , and they’ve helped but they haven’t thoughts are still there. just recently you’ve been getting suicidal thoughts. you spent all of your nights studying & wondering about what life would be like if you were no longer here. schools been torturing you and you dont feel happy anymore. you wanted to reach out to someone, but you didn’t want to feel like a burden. you decided to take a nap to clear your mind for a couple of hours.

November 21st, 2024

you decided that tomorrow was the day. you’ve dealt with everything for way to long and you couldn’t take it. you spent the whole day talking with paige and azzi , trying to make the most out of your time with them. they wouldn’t have known that you were choosing to make a decision that you could never take back. “we should go out and do something fun! your always in the house” azzi told you, as you went to your room to get ready. you put on some jeans with a brown shirt and your uggs.

you guys drove to the apple orchard, something you haven’t dont since you were little. you tried your best to make the most out of the day and tried to be happy with them. paige put her arm around you while you guys walked. it made you feel good and you started to regret what you were going to do tonight. “i love you so much, yknow?” paige said as she kissed your hand. “we should go to target, the apartment is missing some things.” azzi said as she skipped ahead of you guys.

paige and azzi were out , they had a late practice today. you finished cleaning and restocking the apartment , when your thoughts came back. you went and laid in your bed as you wrote your final notes to everyone you loved. you were set on this , eventually you texted and left some voicemails for paige and azzi. you felt so empty, so alone . you didn’t want to die, you just wanted your thoughts and feelings to stop. you walked into the walk in closet of your room that you shared with paige and azzi . you grabbed the chair , tied the knot , and hung yourself.

after paige & azzis practice

“why’d y/n call us so many times?” paige asked as she walked to her car. “i have like 80 voicemails from her, it’s weird.” azzi said as her and paige drove off.

“hey y/n?” paige shouted as she walked into the apartment, unaware of what she was about to see. she eventually made her way into the walk in closet and saw you. “shit,” paige said as she tried to get you down. “azzi call someone, she’s not breathing.” paige said as she laid you on the floor, trying everything & praying that somehow you’d wake up, knowing deep down that you never would.

eventually, help came. paige and azzi wrote the handwritten notes that you had left for them, and the rest of your loved ones. in your note, you apologized that they found you this way and that you were sorry for being selfish because you took your life. “she was so happy, and full of life, what happened? what did we do?” azzi said, her eyes were red and puffy from how much she cried. they would always be scarred for life, because of how they had found you. “did we say something, or do something? we were always with her when we could be.” paige said, she was numb, inside and out. “i can’t do the game tomorrow without her. i dont want to.” paige added on.

a/n: okay yall i physically cannot finish this im litterally sobbing what. this is the most thought I’ve ever put into a story and im proud. @starlighttsv i hope this is what you were asking for !! also my dms are always open to anyone! i love u so much y’all!!

#Spotify #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #wnba #paige bueckers x reader #paige x azzi #azzi x reader #azzi fudd x reader

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bookalicent · 5 months ago

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yeah so this was insane

#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov #and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm #everyone’s like wtf except for percy #and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid #and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like #‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all #which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt #and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt #and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it #so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way #that’s gotta mean a lot to percy #also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability #allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about #feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame #and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL #and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him #like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it #also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer #jason grace #percy jackson #pjo #ashla.txt

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tpup · 2 months ago

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having such an absolute shit time which is horrible because I had put so much effort into making this week bareable only to be fuckin stranded in the worst place I could be rn because my health was so bad I couldn't leave i feel so fucking bad and helpless and fated to having to suffer over and over and over

#was supposed to stop here to just grab one thing I needed!!! but have been so ill (chronic health bs) that I haven't been able to leave #for two days now and it is ruining me right now im like. in a really fucking bad place in every way jesus christ #stuck w someone who abused me for 20 years (not my ex lol she was shitty af but not abusive)#and shocker he is still gross and doesn't take no for an answer to anything and keeps touching me & not leaving me alone & I couldn't leave #I wouldn't wish this on anybody it absolutely breaks you to be stuck like this because your body doesn't work. I should have gone to the ER #So scared my health is getting worse in really dangerous ways. Could have died the other morning #like what the fuck!! what am I supposed to do I have been trying my best my whole life and it still amounts to being homeless and so sick #and so powerless to change either of those #all I want is a warm safe place to call home. It feels like I can never have that without a knife at my back #delete later #woof woof #vent

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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago

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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr #me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel #and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need #space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time #but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single #Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was #much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh #i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups #and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that #definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him #its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh #cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did #like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess #guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here #and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno #we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff #that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting #i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it #i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu #anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu #publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago #n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus #being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the #stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)

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james-spooky · 4 months ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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unnonexistence · 29 days ago

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just started reading book 3 in this series and page 1 is taking no prisoners hgdshdslk

#YOURE DAMN RIGHT HES UNDESERVING #for like a solid half of book 2 i was going ''im going to strangle this man''#i think the worst part is how oblivious he is to his own shortcomings #like if he was cruel that would be one thing #but no he just. does not see women as people. and it never occurs to him that there could be anything amiss in his view of the world #krista d. ball said 'this man does not deserve a first name' and she was RIGHT #anyway please read the ladies occult society books by krista d ball if you like regency settings #specifically with a lot of detail. i cant speak to how Historically Accurate(tm) it is but there is clearly SO much care put into all of it #like describing the logistics of having dresses made and suchlike #it reminds me of in little women when they talk about needing new ribbon for a bonnet or something but like More of that. i love it #eliza does a lot of very careful budgeting because she has to #oh uh. content warning for several kinds of abuse. for sure financial & reproductive abuse but possibly other kinds as well #i feel like im not really selling the series here but it is SO interesting #focused on all the little ways women eke out some independence in a society that systematically denies them any #also theres magic #as of the end of book 2 there are bickering lesbian ghosts #im pretty sure anyway. lesbianism not yet confirmed but like. frankly i would be very surprised if theyre not gay #characters who were never married but are still somehow divorced.#i should also say it isnt Romance it is Historical Fantasy #i think there is going to be a romance at some point. but it is definitely not the main focus & it's possible there wont be one #im rooting for mr sidney sinclair at the moment but we dont know him that well yet. he might turn out not to be trustworthy #anyway. good series. enjoying it #bookposting

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synthetic-sonata · 2 months ago

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really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row

#vent #why am i suddenly the worst person to exist to everyone again for having bpd and complex emotions. 2023s coming back in a new way #like oh wow Have you ever thoguht of how Aria Feels. Have you ever thought to fucking talk to me about this . god.#this specific group of people keeps making me miserable and then complains about me being miserable about it. like yea. bc that makes sense #maybe i shouldve left all of you huh. maybe i shouldve done that. i need to be the one with agency over my emotions for fucking once.#everyone walks all over me and expects it to do nothing. keeping my fears in check and keeping my confirmation biases very much there.#lua if you see this that was entirely fucking unwarranted. im not some fucking evil person. i just have BPD. we tried.#i dont like venting to you for every single little thing either and it makes me miserable too! it wouldve been nice if you said that first.#all of it made me miserable but thats all we ever fucking talked about.#i really fucking tried just to get kicked down and spit at again for something so stupid and then the remaining 3 also left again.#what am i supposed to do. what do you want me to do.#i genuinely tried. i always wanted to try but just got left with questions and unexplainable emotions. and now everythings like this again #no explanations. nothing to give me any benefit of the doubt. just no youre evil and awful for this thing that we all also do but #were all going to blame YOU for not being honest about your emotions. and then i start being very open about my emotions #and people hate that too. literally what do you fucking want from me anymore. have i been anything other than a strawman to any of you #just an ideal to chase . just whatever you want to form me into ?#i am not a saint and never claim to be or claim to be the best or even most reasonable opinion. but you should all maybe evaluate that your #extraordinarily comically bad at anything regarding this. better at communicating my fucking ass.#i dont want to be at either of you twos fucking whims anymore. i dont even want to be at my own.#leave me the hell alone. observe me at a distance. just dont fucking talk to me until you have something better to say.#i did not need that. it is unfair to me. not now. not any time. not near my birthday not near new years. i did not need this suddenly today #because people dont communicate anything to me. and then expect me to be fine to be slapped in the face with it like its expected.#you people fucking suck.#i feel abused by fucking everyone. i am not a real person to any of you and never will be. nobody cared about my personhood #and you know what. im fine with that. because neither of you are here anymore.#literally i am mentally not built for people who made me miserable then blaming me for my misery . or the most stupid friendgroup drama of #the century i am built for playing touys and having fun Fuck u all forever get out of my life FOREVER !#itll probably come back again and then ill be mentally susceptible to this bullshit again but for now literally just . fuck off.#i dont want to be in your ouroboros ( lol ) of endless misery feedback loop bullshit anymore #like woww i have problems but Wow. Its almost like you two made it worse? Idk! Just a thought.

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tojbnuy · 2 months ago

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boyfriend!toji who doesn’t know why but he feels this weird jealousy everytime he sees you meet your friends and greet them all with a big hug. you never did that with him. you relationship was still fairly new to the both of you, but you kissed you fucked you even held hands sometimes when walking around. but, what toji was now realizing, was that he wanted a hug. well, he wanted a hug from You. not a casual little hug, a hug. holding each other. he didn’t know how to broach the subject without sounding needy and like the complete opposite of how he usually acts. he had never cared about this kinda stuff with other people, he’d never experienced it growing up and he thought he could live without it. until you. until you showed him that wanting to be held was normal. he’d been thinking about it for a while until one night, as the two of you got ready for bed it simply slipped out.

‘how come you don’t hug me?’

immediately you stopped plaiting your hair and turned to him with a shocked look.

‘what?’

‘how come you don’t hug me? like when you see your friends or you say bye you hug them. you don’t hug me.’

as soon as he said it he felt stupid. a grown man like him, older than you and he was sat here asking for a fucking hug. what if you turned the question around and said ‘well you don’t hug me’ what would he say? that i’ve never done that before sorry i don’t know how? his thoughts came to a stop when he felt a small hand grab his own larger one.

‘i- toji im so sorry. i’m sorry i didn’t think that was something you wanted.’

fuck now he’s made you feel bad.

‘nah doll you don’t have to say sorry, its nothing let’s just go to bed’

‘no toji please. let’s talk about it.’

you lifted the blanket and made your way over to his side of the bed so you could sit face to face. everything about you was so soft, so kind. such a complete contrast to himself. he was panicking, he didn’t do stuff like this, never talked about stuff like this.

‘honestly toji, i really just thought you weren’t a touchy person. i’m sorry for just assuming especially considering everything you’ve been through,’

‘no please doll. i wasn’t trying to blame you for anything. i just’

his palms were actually sweating, but your face. god your darling sweet face, looking at him like he hung up the stars in sky. like every word out of his mouth meant the world to you. you would wait for him to get the words out no matter how long he took.

‘i don’t know to be honest. you’re right i’m not a touchy person i’ve never really hugged anyone. but i want that. with you. and im sorry, i should be the one to initiate it i just didn’t really know how doll.’ his voice was so quiet, just a rough whisper.

he looked up to stare into your glassy eyes when you leaned in and kissed him. a small whisper of a kiss.

‘can i hug you?’ you said with your lips pressed against his.

he knew you knew he would prefer not to dwell on it.

and then he wrapped his arms around your back so tightly like he was showing the universe just how bad he needed you. he pulled you into his lap and let his cheek fall to your shoulder. he felt your arms wrap around his neck and you fingers stroking the hairs at his nape.

neither of you spoke, you simply sat and held each other and made a silent promise to maintain the closeness from today onwards.

‘thank you for telling me toji. you big baby.’

‘yeah that’s enough. time for bed.’

your giggle was music to his ears.

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cherrylight · 3 months ago

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i have so many things i want to do on here!! oh my goddddd!!! i want to be unapologetically me! i just get so nervous and i fear like im being too much on here !!!!!

like!!! i want to post silly incorrect quote stuff on here :( and talk about my selfships and silly fandoms i love .... and my silly self insert that makes me so happy ... and post MORE AND MORE AND MORE BUT IM SO NERVOUSSSSSSSSS

it makes no sense !!!!! i mean i guess it does..... having someone who kind of puts you down all the time for the things you share with them makes you terrified to do literally anything and thats actually sooooooooo frustrating.......... wahhhhh

besides ........ i really wanna do something for my birthday blargh!! >_<

#ok sorry everyone i just needed to get this OUT #im no longer friends with that person which is good! but they still are THERE haunting my thoughts all the time #i dont like venting about the SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN I REALLY DONT #but this time i dont think i can just Not #like i just.....#they were not supportive at all even if they said they were #they were supportive when it benefited them #i dont like talking about them but this is how im trying to process how horrific and traumatic that friendship probably was.......#theres always a part of me that thinks im the worst person ever because of them its so bad idk #i wish i didnt feel like this sometimes.......#but in a good way: i can be a bit happy on selfshipping without feeling as if im a laughing stock to them #i dont think they even read anything i sent them in regards to literally anything #selfship or not #try not to talk about personal stuff almost at all i try to never speak about Me ever because i feel overbearing and a lot #but i just feel bad i guess...#in all honesty though: yall are so sweet and i appreciate every single one of you !!!#i just can never articulate my thoughts correctly #and i feel too afraid to show things because of how things were in the past :(#but i really do appreciate everything i just ...#im not good at talking about Me ... like i said previously i think #i think though a good thing is finally being able to enjoy the things i like even if its kind of semi public so i think thats a huge step!!#i just.... feel too much. i feel things too intensely....#maybe i should write things on paper instead of typing things out #idk... uh thinking out loud here sorry #rambling but um i think i got everything out ?? idk :thumbsup:#but i do mean it though: thank you for being nice and patient with me ^_^#i know my fear gets in the way and im trying TO FIGHT IT #going to PUNCH FEAR going to attack fear with hammers #this is so long i apologise ........#ashley talks

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wishmkr-jirachi · 5 months ago

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...

#wishtalks #vent post time ^_^ yay ^_^#feeling very neglected atm #nothing feels like it's going right anymore #school has been tough im literally failing exams #barely have any times for hobbies anymore because i've gotten so busy #depression has been hitting really bad stopping me from being nearly as productive as I should be at a daily basis #I can't shake off the feeling of being burned out from that alone #it doesn't help that i've been struggling to connect to ANYONE at all lately #classmates are nice people but the connection I feel with them is so superficial.#Feels like i'm only ever around because I'm just there by default #I feel like people only really fuck with me here because it directly benefits them #I feel so wrong #I feel like the way I am right now I can never truly connect with people #the few friends I had back home are all growing more distant #they themselves are busy and this new timezone schedule just makes me completely unavailable #I feel like things haven't gotten better for the past 8 months and instead is either remaining stagnant or getting worse #and I can't do anything about it except for idly sit by and watch it deteriorate in front of me #but in a way I don't fault anyone. I would have wanted others to live their lives without me.#It's funny that thought I was deserving of anything different #the only way I can cope is by just accepting that i'm wrong and this is how just how it's supposed to be for people like me #I'm just tired. Nothing I do ever feels right. I feel like the world is telling me I don't deserve anything and I kind of agree #I'm so used to the feeling of neglect it sometimes feels like i'm actively pushing any help or support away. but nothing else feels right #I feel like i've exhausted every person willing to help me out. I feel like nothing helps anymore and im just slowing others down #if you know me personally and you're reading this. i'm sorry I failed you #I'll be okay I just need time to pass

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truecorvid · 6 months ago

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starting to suspect that i am not very good at engaging in open/honest/non judgmental conversations on the internet actually

#teeth.txt #i try to be a lot of the time like #idk #but sometimes i do look back on like my opening lines and i'm like oh that was way more judgmental and coming from my own biases #than i originally thought/meant it to be #oops.#i think i need to actually ban myself from saying anything in any comment section ever #my communication style is not meant for it. even though i feel like it is and i'm explaining myself reasonably #it always seems to put people on the defensive #mostly because the types of interactions im talking about are like #contradicting the original statement that op made or whatever #so inherently that's gonna throw up defenses #but i don't think i'm actually ever helping with that and #perhaps i should actually just crawl into a cave and never speak to anyone ever again. maybe.#and i always make myself look like an idiot too. idk. internet comments are where productive conversations go to die #but also it's my fault and nobody else has ever had this issue ever #anyways turns out you actually can't just explain yourself betterer and betterer and make everyone understand what you're saying #or understand what everyone else is saying and where they're coming from #idk i just feel like out of the 3? ish internet 'arguments' i've gotten into in recent memory #all of them have ended with me a) getting stressed out by them and b) eventually disengaging completely #with no resolution and both sides just knuckling down in their beliefs #not good.#whatever i'll just try to get better at this in real life where it actually matters and i can better tell if someone is engaging #in good faith/an honest desire to have a conversation #ughhhhhh #also sorry everyone u get me talking on this app here way more because i can't talk to my bf rn. lol

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snekdood · 7 months ago

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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.