#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself

[snekdood]

i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.

[diavolosthots]

Request are opeeeeeen yay

Oh, well, could you please do a comforting scenario with Belphie and a depressed MC that's usually very cheerful but not right now (y'know, because of✨ Seasonal depression✨) with a lot of fluff and love?

Thank you in advance, and thank you also for all the things you write! It is amazing!!!

Requests are not open, this is from last time. Also i love how you go to emo boy for seasonal depression haha

Warning: mentions of seasonal depression

As the Seasons Change (BELPHEGOR X GN!READER)

As if life wasn’t already complicated enough as it is, it also just had to throw yearly change at you. The warm, fun, light, bright, and outdoors-y stuff was suddenly replaced by cold, long nights and tons of darkness. Now, for some people, this was great. Who doesn’t prefer shorter days and more sleep? But to people like you, this just put you into a spiral of moodiness. Everything that you looked forward to in Spring and Summer suddenly got taken away and it wasn’t… it just made you feel bad, you know? Things are dying, animals go into hibernation, and people are dressing more darkly. It’s almost as if the world decided to be emo for 6 months out of the year and as much as that is okay, it really isn't. You liked the sunshine and warm days with the softest of breezes. The beautiful flowers and trees and animals that come out to play. Of course, people also just seemed happier. It’s beautiful, to you. Besides, the Devildom already gave you a shock with its constant darkness but you somewhat got used to it, up until Diavolo decided that he needed to “keep up with the human realm” and decided to bring winter down here. So now instead of dark and hot as hell, it was dark and cold as hell. Seriously, it may not be affecting the demons too much but how did he think his two human and two angel exchange students would react?

Still, you can’t blame it all on Diavolo. The guy was trying to do something nice by bringing a little bit of human into the Devildom, probably forgetting that not all humans react the same way to sudden change and or dark and cold dynamics in general. Bottom line is, you were less than pleased. Your moods spun out of control ranging from sadness to anger to not feeling worthy. It was a confusing time and right now, the most you could feel was ‘okay’. “Lucifer, why don’t demons get weirded out by the sudden change in temperature?” You hoped that the eldest could give you some type of explanation or maybe even a little bit of sympathy so you didn’t think you were the only one, but he only shrugged. “Demons adapt easily. We have to, otherwise we’d be tormented by our own minds.” It wasn’t exactly the answer you were looking for and Lucifer could tell, but it didn’t take away from the fact that that was the only answer you would be getting out of him. 

You hated this, genuinely. You even tried talking to Diavolo about it but it seemed to fly right over the guy’s head. “Haha isn’t this fun? I forgot what the cold feels like!” No, Diavolo, it’s not fun. Did you know that some people prefer the cold and get depressed over summer too??? No??? Well, then don’t assume! Of course, you didn’t say that to the Demon Lord because although he himself never scared you, you were terrified of what Barbatos may do had you disrespected the future King like that. You felt alone because even Solomon preferred the dark and although the angels are being of light, they didn’t seem to be affected much by this either. Was it just a human thing? Maybe just a you thing? The more you thought about it, the lonelier you felt and the brothers began to notice your change in behavior. How couldn’t they? They felt bad for you. Beel tried to cheer you up with food, which usually made you laugh, but now you’re just turning away from him. 

Belphegor is the only one who somewhat seemed indifferent, although his looks at you lasted a little longer than usual. Usually you’d annoy him with your constant happiness and ability to jump around everywhere, so now that it’s gone, it’s weird that he actually kind of misses it. “Come cuddle with me.” “Belphie I do---!” But he didn’t even care. He just grabbed you and then dragged you up into the attic with him. That’s probably the most exercise he’s done in a while: dragging someone up the stairs, but it was worth it. Kinda. Maybe. “I didn’t ask. I told you.” You rolled your eyes at him because when does he ever ask? He just does his thing and seems endlessly happy with that, although something told you that was the biggest lie. 

“I don’t want to cuddle.” Now he’s rolling his eyes, falling down onto the bed in the attic and holding out his arms to you. “Maybe you don’t want it, but you definitely need it. Stop fighting with me.” you groaned but gave in, falling down beside him, trying to keep at least some space between the two of you, but Belphie didn’t care and immediately rolled closer, putting his head on your chest. “Stroke my hair and tell me what’s wrong.” What? See this is why you and Belphie rarely ever hang out. He’s so demanding, so needy, and you swore he rivaled Leviathan at times. Levi would beg you to stay until you would, though, and Belphie would just have a death grip on you. Right now you didn’t know which was worse. “Belphie I don’t… I don’t want to.” “Fine then just hold me, but talk to me.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around him because that seemed like a fair compromise and he was already half on top of you so what’s the point of arguing? 

“I just… my emotions are all over the place. I’m sad and then I’m angry. I get annoyed and then I get lonely… it’s because Diavolo changed the damn weather…” You felt stupid for saying that out loud and you could almost guarantee that Belphie thought the same thing, but he didn’t say anything, instead waiting for you to go on. “I just got used to the dark and the hot of the Devildom and now it’s… it’s dark and cold and it feels lonely and empty and I can’t cope with that. He did it to be ‘hip’ or whatever with the human world but he fails to realize that just because it happens naturally up there, doesn’t mean people like that.” “So you got seasonal depression.” You nodded, slowly beginning to let your fingers run over his back while he wrapped himself around you. Well, he more so climbed fully on top of you and snuggled his face into your neck. It tickled a bit so you managed to let out a little giggle, but it disappeared just as quickly. 

“Yeah… I was… you know I could’ve gotten used to just having dark and hot all year around but then he goes and does this and I can’t feel happy right now… everything is just so sad and gloomy. Spring just started in the human world and yet Diavolo decides to start late and extend winter…” Belphie snorted, finding amusement in your words. He has his own opinions about his Demon Lord, including the fact that that guy is a huge himbo, but he could never voice that out loud. Not when he knows Lucifer lives under the same roof as him. “He sucks. But you know… this does give you an excuse to just lay with me all day.” And yes, he truly believes that’s a good thing. Why wouldn’t it be? No expectations, just sleep and cuddles. He pulls his head out of your neck and leans up a bit, kissing your forehead before looking at you. “Just stay with me. I can make you sleep until Lord Diavolo decides winter is done. He’s going to get tired of it sooner or later.” 

You laughed softly at his proposal, shaking your head a bit. “I don’t know if you’re aware but humans need to eat and drink and you’d have me play sleeping beauty, meaning I’d die due to the lack of food and water in my body.” Belphie only shrugged, laying his head back down and snuggling closer. He was behaving like a baby right now, but a cute baby, who wouldn’t let you go. “I don’t see the issue, but suit yourself.” Of course the Avatar of Sloth wouldn’t see the issue. You rolled your eyes again and then poked his sides before holding him tightly. “You’re warm….” “I know.” Another eye roll but you also couldn’t help but smile. He’s such an idiot but at least you’re not alone right now. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer… for just a little bit.” 

Belphie smiled into your neck, kissing it gently before closing his eyes, “I thought so.”

[mingmingfufu]

Can we just talk about the ending of KawoShin open discuss. *sort of spoilerish*

I feel like I’m the only one who’s like reallly disappointed LMFAO--ya’ll there’s so much “canon” alternative universe and merchandise for Kawoshin in Evangelion that it kind of makes me upset to realise this couple just went down the drain. Yeah, I can see how people were like, “Kaworu’s toxic” or “Kaworu has a hero complex for Shinji” to which I say are valid points. But the toxic thing I feel like can also be applied to pretty much everyone around Shinji tbh, except for Rei. I did NOT, like Asuka at all but I really love her character though, and I felt for her a lot throughout the series.

I did not ship them either because honestly, Shinji and Asuka seemed better off playing the sibling dynamic instead of trying to play bf/gf which honestly is kind of forced by their living situation. Also since they’re in a similar disposition non existent father and dead mother, you’d imagine they would rely on each other for emotional comfort. Though Asuka—her personality I feel like she can’t differentiate between familial love and romantic love and the affection she wants is a bit of both. But, her character tries to be “mature”; she wants romantic love more and does this through sexual means and romantic gestures e.g. like kissing. One of my friends told me that you can’t stay friends as a boy and a girl cause eventually you catch feelings. Which I say is kinda dumb cause I have a lot of male friends, and I definitely don’t harbour those feelings, but I guess it’s a common phenomena.

I think this is what happens in this case, of Asuka and Shinji. Even after rejection of instrumentality they actually are depicted as childhood friends. But knowing how they both were before to each other, it was not good tbh. Also to mention the choking like thrice— bro if anything, this showcases a really abusive relationship and I think this outstretches the idea of their character tropes. Which I firmly stand by saying they’re superficial to each other. AsuShin were never really there for each other and are using each other in a forced situation. However, you can’t deny that they didn’t at some point catch feels, also Shinji is pretty consistent how he still cares about everyone around him. Which I really like how they add that to his character because it reminiscent of Yui, because you see a duality of both his parents personality in Shinji throughout the series—it’s a really nice touch. But bruh, if we gonna talk about that coma scene—I’m out LOL.

Thoughhhh, she is a true definition of best girl I really like her arc, fighting drive, and her skills as an Eva pilot 😭💗--but bruh she’s still a toxic and sometimes annoying tsundere trope, but still she’s 14 what can you do. So I feel like Kensuke and Asuka are actually a pretty good combo, cause he’s always been pretty mature even without parents. Also Asuka was into older guys, so I guess this is a win win?? Also Rei and Shinji, I honestly cannot get my head around it cause that’s pretty much his mom—so in a way that’s like either his half-sister or mom-ish clone?? Idk but Yui is definitely the donor LOL.

Kaworu and Shinji I felt like brought a bunch of things out of each other. I don’t know which timeline begins first, but I’d like to think the manga, the anime (plus its movies), and then to the rebuild series. Because I think that order is kind of pivotal to observing Kaworu’s character development from being a person who’s trying to understand human feelings to then the kinder person we see in the final series. You can tell how he’s changed and he knows Shinji a lot more as well as being considerate to him e.g. giving him personal space or letting him work at his own pace. Also that “we’ll meet again.” Is an obvious nod to how he’s done this before.

His literal story in every timeline is always romantic LOL, like bruh I can’t remember which game it was but basically a bad ending of Kawoshin route is that you reject Kaworu and he starts the third impact 🤡. Also I don’t know why but I started to see a weird dynamic between those two, in the manga their interactions reminded me of Asuka and Shinji—which Shinji is the tsundere Asuka here. I don’t know if this is relevant but the older character relative to the character they’re with seems to play off a mature vs a childish person trope. Asuka is younger than Shinji and Shinji is actually younger than Kaworu. Then again I could be overseeing this but istg manga Kaworu and Shinji mirror the whole Asushin dynamic. Like he’s seriously agressive against Kaworu, then after killing him he admits liking him. 🤡 I don’t know which is funnier no homo Shinji, homophobe shinji, or just closet Shinji who needs to realise sexuality is a spectrum so he could’ve idk—come out as bisexual, but whatever manga Shinji lol that timeline is over.

Anyways the development of these two is real and I think the rebuild timeline shows them at their best bringing their own personage out from each other like how they both enjoy music together--WHICH I’M SO SAD WE NEVER GET TO SEE THAT CELLO AGAIN. Then there’s those feelings of humanity, love, kindness, etc. Which yeah an angel could represent those things, but Kaworu is still his own person, self-aware of a cycle and if you think about how he initially was there to USE Shinji, but ultimately turned on that plan set by SEELE because he loved Shinji (and a bunch of other things like him showing Kaworu humanity). I also can see the argument, how “ideal” Kaworu is to Shinji, but he’s more self aware of the time he has before he KNOWS he’ll die and knows how to act for himself in that duration to make the most of it. All with Shinji. At some point, I think he fell in love with Shinji tho I don’t know where it began tbh—considering that all those alternate universes do exist. Kaworu does romantically love Shinji--so, in some universe they both reciprocate their feelings to each other. 

In the last movie during that convo with Shinji. Like bREH it’s so emotionally moving because Kaworu remembers ALLLLL the timelines and how he’s been with Shinji and later Shinji himself recalls the events too. Where they show the scene from the manga and anime. Kaworu cries after being set free from the EVA cycle. Which, I definitely understood what he meant by him saying “it’ll be lonely” and how Shinji changed or that he’s actually different this time.

Either way, Shinji did right by him because it’s always Kaworu who has the purpose of “trying to save Shinji” but it always ends up the same. I thought that was really moving because Shinji tells Kaworu he’s gonna let him live a life for himself for once and he wants the same for everyone as well. Which was honestly so meaningful cause I think Kaworu’s character and like Rei too when they start to realise how to “live” like a person and not another puppet it’s truly liberating. Another thing I forgot, bruh Kaworu calls Gendo his father and ngl I feel like this is kind of a weird lore situation because I for sure don’t think he’s the donor. I think he calls him that as an insult because he knows Gendo’s whole doing and relative to Shinji—I kind of see it as a joke LOL. Like it’s equivalent to saying, “daddy chill”, or “hey look it’s daddy and his plans to end the world” also I kind of like to think of it as a father in law thing cause you know, Kawoshin *winks amirite*

The ending, I’m honestly hoping is just an open ending because it gives everything an actual start of their adult lives not being dictated by extraterrestrial forces. Though, I’m kind of wondering if the world doesn’t have EVAs does that still mean everyone else still has the same backstory, and do they remember? Maybe Mari really is just a coworker lmfao, and there’s still a chance for Kaworu and Shinji cause ngl, they did have a convo (presumably from the spoilers) about still remaining close afterwards and that stare at the ending seems very hopeful.

I call bs from Anno saying, “oh Shinji is based off him and Mari off of his wife”, like honestly any OCs made theres always some part of yourself made into that character. Which is probably why a lot of people relate to the characters in EVA because they’re based off real things (e.g. those war machines characters are named after and people around them). I think why Kaworu and Rei are together at the end, is bc they’re very much the same. They’re mass produced dolls—which oddly enough that’s the case for all the children except they don’t recall the loop. Kind of funny also how both Kaworu and Rei became farmers lmfao so ig it runs in the family (yes that’s right I like the idea that they’re siblings it was always noted that they’re like “the same”).

Another thing, i think why the rebuild really did well for Kawoshin and in my opinion canonised it—the convo with elder Ryoji Kaji (Misato’s baby daddy) that there was a time he felt incredibly lonely and depressed thinking Misato didn’t love him and so he started looking out for himself. So self love and found himself a hobby in farming which he suggests to Kaworu—basically saying he might feel like Shinji doesn’t love him but he’s gotta remember to take care of himself. if I go thru a breakup ill feel like it’s the end of the world but Kaji says y’a gotta self love broe and take care yo self gad dam fam 😭 💗.

Though, that look at the end from Shinji to Kaworu—I’d like to believe there is still hope that one day when they’re a bit stable in their adult lives, they’ll run into each other.

[my-dating-academia]

Dating HC's for Tanjirou, Inosuke, and Zenitsu

Tanjirou Kamado:

-First off! You’re dating an absolute pure boy! He legit has no bad or tainted intentions. He just wants to make you happy and hold you close... He lost too much to take anything for granted and wants to hold you close. Not to be lewd or anything, but he dreams of cuddling with you next to a fireplace.

-He really is a caring lover. He always puts your needs before him. You’re hungry? Please, take his food! He’s already full! Cold? You can take his haori. He’ll be okay! You’ve been really, really wanting this certain item for a while? He can work a little harder to buy it for you!

-But truth is, he’s scared he’s gonna lose you. He tries to keep you happy, so you won’t because you keep him happy just by being with him. Whenever he’s with you, he feels relaxed. He just wants to crawl up next to you and lay his head down in your lap. Please play with his hair? Stroke his head? If you even gently trace his scar or give it light kisses he’ll blush so hard.

-Favorite thing to do is cuddle! Cuddling when you sleep! He feels so at home when he wraps around you...It makes him secure and easier to sleep.

-You’re most likely his first s/o. He has had crushes before but too busy to ever pursue them. He is a little unsure in his actions on what to do. He just wants to make you feel loved, that’s what he knows for sure. That means you’re also his first kiss! It was probably after a dangerous mission and when he saw you again, he realized how scared he is to never see you again. He gently grabbed the sides of your face to gaze at you before you closed the distance and sweetly kissed him. It was a little awkward trying to figure it out, but it was so gentle and genuine you teared up.

-He wants you to be his first and last. He already imagines a peaceful life with you with you.

-If you’re a demon slayer, he wants to go on missions with you, but he understands if he can’t. He just gets so worried even though he knows you can handle yourself! Expect a hug when you get back from one!

-He also trusts you 100% therefore he does not get jealous. He knows you won’t cheat on him. However, if someone is flirting with you and you are uncomfortable and they won’t stop, he will step in. 

-You have to have a good relationship with Nezuko. He saw you teaching her how to make a flower crown and could of swore he died right at that moment of pure joy. Another time Nezuko fell asleep on your lap and you fell asleep leaning against the wall and Tanjiro’s heart just went <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

-He will be your emotional pillar and hold you whenever you get sad. Whether you just need to have a shoulder to cry on or advice, he’s got you covered. 

-Please return his actions. He deserves it. Baby has been through so much he really needs some love and someone to fall against. Polish or sharpen his sword, write him a few encouraging notes, or even buy matching necklaces! He won’t take it off and keep it hidden under his collar to make sure it doesn’t get damaged. Whenever he’ll being feeling down, he’ll look at the necklace and be reminded by you. Same goes if he’s fighting a really powerful demon. It’ll give him a much needed moral boost.

Inosuke Hashibira:

-Pretty feral boy legit is clueless. He is so confused with everything, but he knows that whenever he’s near you, his face heats up and his chest feels weird and tingly. It’s like you’re doing some weird mind trick on him, like you’re baiting him into a challenge! But, whenever he tries to yell out to tell you to fight him, it turns into a weird pig-like squeal and his words die out. It’s kinda funny and makes you giggle because he gets into a fighting stance then just falters out and squeals. It took a while before you two could get together because of misunderstandings and Inosuke being confused of “love”.

-Inosuke does love you he just has his way to show it. Instead of challenging you every few minutes, he protects you. If you’re not a demon slayer, he always tries to go check up on you and has you in the back of the head. He may even give you some lessons for self defense. However, if you are a demon slayer, he does like to go on missions with you and keep an eye on you. Whenever he sees you fight fiercely in battle he just gets so proud and inside he’s all like “Yeah, that’s my s/o!!!”

-He also loves holding you for some reason. I don’t know why, but I feel like he would just love to carry you? He’ll hold you bridal style or sling you over his shoulder. This also means he’ll do that in front of others, so he just doesn’t care about PDA. He justifies it by “But they’re mine?? The others should know we’re together?? What’s so embarrassing about that???”

-He also gets jealous probably because of the whole “raised around wild animals”. He will glare and challenge Zenitsu if he asks you to marry him....Let’s just say Zenitsu learned his lesson about asking you that.

-If you sleep with him he will wrap you up in his limbs and not let you leave unfil he wakes up. You’ll have to pry him off. He may not the be softest to sleep against but he is warm, so you don’t have to worry about being cold during winter. He’s also the big spoon no matter what.

-He’ll never mention it but Inosuke will be happy if you teach him to read and write. He’s embarrassed by the fact he can’t. 

-If you can cook and he make him food he will be beyond happy!! Or giving him praise!! He loves it and c r a v e s it. He doesn’t hear it very often.

-Make sure he takes care of himself. Simply like brushing his hair or making him take baths. He really prefers it if you take a bath with him, so you can reach his back. He doesn’t care if you’re naked just please get that one spot hE CAN’T SCRUB. Over a while, bathing together just becomes the norm for you two.

-As previously mentioned, he doesn’t handle well with emotions. He will let you cry into his shoulder and if the reason you’re crying is because of someone insulting you, he will go try to tear their ass up. He’s not the great with words, but he’ll take you out into the woods to release your frustration on trees or maybe even some demons.

-He kisses are rougher because he will smoosh his face onto yours and your teeth may clink, but his kisses make you feel so safe and warm. He’ll even press the snout of his mask onto your lips when he has it on. 

Zenitsu Agatsuma:

-OKAY SO WE KNOW HE ASKS LEGIT ANYONE TO MARRY HIM BUT WHEN HE GETS WITH YOU THAT SHIT COMES TO A STOP.

-He is honestly so shocked you returned his feelings? He never would imagine you actually would. He honestly could look at you smiling at him and he would tear up slightly because you actually love him? You’re smiling because of him?? 

-He wants to be attached to you every second, but he stops himself because he’s afraid he’ll scare you off? Tell him you don’t mind and although he will be with you constantly, his face will be so blushy and blissful and that makes it worth it.

-He loves PDA and loves to give you hugs and quick kisses. Those kisses become an routine. Kiss in the morning, in the afternoon, before he goes off to a mission, before bedtime, he just loves them! He will get whiny if you don’t. He needs them like he needs air.

-His kisses are so gentle and sweet! He kisses are as soft as if he’s kissing a doll. His kisses are always filled with love. He’s a hopeless romantic okay.

-He just wants to have one night with no demons bothering you and look at the stars. He’ll point out what he sees and may even sneak in an “Those stars look like us kissing! The stars say we should kiss. Let’s kiss now!...Please?”

-Maybe he has a journal that depicts you and him getting married but shush. He may even slip out a few times by referring you to others as “My wife/husband”. He had to stop himself from getting promise rings a week after dating but he will after some months. If he sees you wearing your promise ring, he will be so happy!

-He does get insecure and unsure of himself especially after missions when he thinks his teammates outshone him. He will get teary eyed and fall into your arms. Kiss his head and list all the things that make him special and amazing. Sometimes just listen to him talk about it. Don’t worry, he’ll return the favors if you ever feel down too.

-He is the little spoon most the time because he loves affection, but some nights he just wants to hold onto you since he’s afraid that its all too good to be true.

-He does get jealous and will say something like “That’s my s/o you’re flirting to!” And will get pouty after that because what if you really did want that person? Was he no good enough? He’d cling to your haori and beg you not to leave him.

-Switch with eachother’s haoris! He loves to see you in his and your haori reminds him of you and it feels like you’re wrapped around him. Its great.

-He does try extra harder to protect you but it's still a challenge. It's like, whenever he's about to get attacked, oh well time to run up and tree and cry. But with you? Oh hell no. "Get away from my s/o filthy demon!!" while crying

-But if you saved him?? He'll be a little embarrassed but in his eyes you're his hero.

-Zenitsu really, really loves you. He probably does cheesey stuff like putting your two initials in a heart carved on a tree.

-Please don't break his heart. Poor boy fell super hard for you.

~~~

(I really do love Inosuke but he's kinda hard to write for)

[tylerwritez]

I was gonna post this to my main but decided against it

Disclaimer b4 I type out this post because I know yall are gonna freak out: I am NOT going to shoot up my school. I would never do that. I like my highschool. I have friends, I have a good life, I'm not getting bullied, and I dont even have a gun in the first place. I AM NEVER GOING TO KILL ANYONE!!!! there. Theres your disclaimer, now you can't be pissed off at me.... also tw gun violence tw school shootings, you get the idea. DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOURE GONNA TRY AND THROW ME UNDER THE BUS FOR THIS POST! (tumblr is like a diary to me sometimes)

Okay, now that we've gotten that over with, let's begin. School shootings. I've watched a few PSAs about it (they were both sorta lame and stupid tbh, but I'm not gonna go in depth in those departments), anwyays, I've watched a few school shooting PSAs and I gotta say, the way media frames these attacks is so... I dont know. Maybe I'm looking at it all twisted, but there is a certain fantasy constructed around school shooters that draws in kids who feel theyve been alienated, kids like I used to be in 7th grade. In every PSA, there's always a moment where the shooter reveals himself as your worst fucking nightmare, busts through the doors guns blazing, yelling at everyone "LOOK AT ME!"... there is a power in that moment that I find so captivating. Obviously, I'm not delusional. I'm not a psychopath. I know that in real life, shooting attacks are horrific things. People die. I know this. But oh my god. Those PSAs have really cut me deep, down to some bone whose existence I wish I could ignore. The bone, sawed in half, is crying out to me now. "LOOK AT ME!" it screams. "I AM A PART OF YOU!" and you realize that you have got more in common with that dude on screen than you think. You realize that actually, you and him are kinda the same in this sick twisted way. And in this sick twisted way you wish you woulda done it. You look back to your old junior high and imagine busting through the doors with a gun. You fantasize about the fear in everyones eyes, in their faces, they scream and beg and you finish them off without mercy. The blood, the brains, the horror, and the bodies are there for the taking. You see in your mind such a clear picture.... like in the PSAs. Where instead of the placeholder white teenage boy its YOU, you're the white teenage boy and everyone who ever looked down on you is gonna feel your wrath. It's such a euphoric fantasy. I cant even begin to describe the power!!! In that one moment. The reveal. Everyone is shocked. Everyone is horrified. Everyone runs, afraid of you. Like you become a god, or at least, a predator animal. Then at the end, you save yourself a bullet. Look over the dead bodies,,, your dead bodies,, and then join them. Peaceful exit. Energy spent. Sing a few verses of a song, and then finish the job.

But in the end, that's all it is.

A fantasy. A fantasy from my junior high years that I have trouble releasing. I KNOW that I wouldn't ever do that today. I know that I wouldn't want to do that at my highschool. In the end, I would NEVER do that. But still the dirty thought of it lingers. Every time I see one of these GODDAMN FUCKING PSAs where you have the shooter busting in like that I'm basically triggered into this fantasy. This fantasy I built in secret... this fantasy I must dismantle.

I want to let go of the hate in my heart. Listen, hear me out. I have never in my life had a healthy way of coping with anything. I didn't get help from anyone, so of course I didnt have healthy coping mechanisms, I was a mentally ill child with nobody. It was... not a surprise.

I think that, on a path towards healing, you need to learn to drop your unhealthy coping mechanisms and get healthier ones. You need to drop the god fantasy, you need to drop the self harm, you need to drop the child with healthy parent-child relationship fantasy... you need to drop everything that's downright degenerate about you. For me I think those are the main three. The way they contrast each other is jarring.

Look, I KNOW this sounds borderline psychopathic. But I swear I'm a... okay, maybe not normal... I'm a decent person. I try to be. I try to be kind to everyone yknow? I'm not... I'm not so full of hatred anymore. It's just that sometimes I see somehting like that PSA and the anger resurfaces and I remember and I can feel my past self...

Not even just shooting stuff... that's a relatively minor part of the big picture. In the big picture, it's always things like happy children with their wholesome parents. That takes me back and I can again feel my past self,, even my present self mourns the loss of this. And i am so... angry. Jealous. Sad. And well, I'm at a loss for how I should feel. I always think "why? Why them? Why does that kid get a happy childhood? Why not me? I was the same as that kid is right now. The exact same. And you're giving HIM this experience... this HAPPY, NORMAL, HEALTHY experience... and you give me this clusterfuck of confusion. Okay.

.... who is "you"???? I notice I talk in second person a lot but I don't know who I'm addressing it to.

I used to have a habit of talking to god so maybe it's just that carrying over..

I used to beg god when I was a child. To let me be happy. To let me be normal.

.... I wish things could be different.

[simpirals]

Down The Tunnels

(Read on AO3) So this is another collab with my very cool friend @stellarwhaleshark​ in which we wrote about Not!Sasha chasing Jon down the tunnels, ending it completely differently from canon. (Jon doesnt die dw) If you liked it,please let us know in the comments! ❤️ Reblogs are encouraged !  ❤️ Characters: Not!Sasha/ Not Them, Jonathan Sims (mentions of Timothy Stoker,Sasha James and Martin Blackwood) Warnings: body horror, stabbing, axe violence, generally spooky atmosphere Jon scrambled down the dark halls. Dark, unkempt hair with streaks of grey frame his face, which scans every nook and cranny in the impossible labyrinth before him. His breathing is ragged, and as he clutches his axe in sweaty hands, a laugh echoes out in the stale air. He is utterly terrified. And he had all the reasons in the world to be so. Something that wasn't his friend wore a face he used to deem as familiar, and that very same thing was out to hunt him down.

"Jooooonnn..." An uncanny voice echoes through the tunnels, reaching out to the man fleeing for his life. "Jooonnn… Why don't you stop running so we have a nice, friendly chat? With your Sasha?" Noises that weren't footsteps reverberated through the tunnels.

"Isn't it what friends do, Jon? Sit down and talk things out together? I promise you this won't take long."

The creature's voice lowered in a dangerous growl.

Jon's heart leapt in his throat as he desperately tried to find an escape from the thing chasing him. He didn't dare respond, fearing that if he focused on anything else except running, he would be caught. Despite the nagging in the back of his mind that told him that losing it was impossible, Jon forced himself to believe that somehow, some way, he could shake the impostor from his trail. But as far as he could see, the path only continued straight. Something scratched along the walls behind him, sending his feet into a more frantic pace. "Shit, shit!"

Having no other option but to continue forward, the Archivist wills himself to move as fast as he can to avoid falling victim to Sas- no, not Sasha. Whatever was chasing him was definitely not who it claimed to be, and that voice that taunted him was certainly not his coworker's... despite how familiar it sounded.

Jon had no time to turn around and watch his pursuer. But he didn't need to do that to guess that it had picked up its pace. It was coming, and it was coming fast.

"Jooooonnnnnnn !"

Its limbs scratch at the concrete walls as it advances rapidly.

"You'll just tire yourself out eventually, silly! What do you think will happen when you collapse on the ground, exhausted and vulnerable?"

Jon's paranoia makes him feel like something was breathing down his neck. But it was just the coldness of the air.

"I'll catch you. And then we'll be able to properly chat. Like friends! Friends do that all the time, don't they? Why are you doing this, Jon? Am I not a good friend to you? Isn't Sasha someone you can trust? You truly wound me, Jon!"

It almost sounded like it was trying to feign… sadness.

But Jon knew better than to listen to it.

He itched to scream back at it. To tell it that he knew it wasn't her, that it could never be Sasha. But instead, Jon grit his teeth and pushed onward. Then, to his left, he saw a dark patch in the wall. As he got closer, he noticed that it was an opening - another corridor. If he was fast enough, Jon could catch it off guard and use the weaving halls to his advantage. Jon let himself slow down a bit, and he could hear what wasn't Sasha gaining on him. Timing his movement just right, Jon skids over into the opening, turning his attention behind him to see the thing dash past with a growl of irritation.

Huffing a small laugh of victory, Jon turned around to gather his bearings of the new hall, but rather than seeing branching pathways, he instead saw concrete walls encasing him.

"Oh, no... no, no no--"

The monster slammed its claws down on the cold ground with satisfaction, cutting off the path to Jon's only escape.

"Found you, Jon."

There was a sickeningly triumphant grin to its voice as it slowly neared Jon, as if it had all the time in the world, its prey standing right before it.

"How about you face me properly, Jon? Come on, turn around. It would be boring if the last thing you ever saw was a wall, wouldn't you agree?" It sang, and this time, the cold breath creeping against Jon's nape was not his imagination.

His whole body shook, and his breathing became so fast that his vision began to blur. This was... god, this wasn't good at all. Jon's thoughts were a jumbled mess, and it was so hard to focus. He was going to die, he was sure of it. How could he be so stupid? Of course he wouldn't be able to outrun that thing. If it wasn't for him breaking that table--

The table. He still had the axe with him, didn't he? Jon gripped the handle tighter into his fists, knuckles turning white. The whole point of getting it was to make that thing hurt, right?

Well, hopefully it'll actually serve its purpose.

Slowly, Jon turned around, having to crane his head to meet the gaze of the monster that stared back with a dangerous glint in its eyes.

The being that wasn't Sasha stared right at him as he looked straight into its fake, glassy eyes.

"Good." It says, with a satisfied tone, lifting its hand- no, not a hand; this was far too big and sharp to be called one- from the ground, raising it to Jon's eye level.

"Remember when I told you I'd make this quick earlier?" It cackles, with that voice that did not belong to it. "I'm afraid Good old Sasha lied!"

It's going to strike.

"You. Are. Not. HER!"

One quick swing, and Jon manages to axe the beast's right limb. The force sends it slamming against a nearby wall and the thing shrieks with multiple voices at once, stumbling back.

"You...YOU!!!" It had not expected Jon to still be able to inflict any sort of damage on its body.

Clutching its wound, it emits a furious roar, and Jon swears his eardrums are about to pop.

He just has enough time to turn around and start running again before the creature tries to catch him, and it trips on itself.

No matter how far away Jon was getting, screams of anguish still rattled off of the walls around him. It sent a chill down his spine, and as he spotted a fork in the catacombs, a screech of muddled voices startled him. "GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE RAT!" It yells out, and the sound of it getting back onto what Jon supposed could be feet made its way down the hall.

As far as he was concerned, remembering how to navigate his way back out of the tunnels was the least of his problems. So Jon ducks and weaves through halls of all sizes, hoping that he'll eventually become so lost that not even the monster at his heels would be able to find him.

Not!Sasha wants to hunt him down to the ends of the Earth.

But first it needed to get its arm back. It quickly grabbed it and pressed the area that was freshly cut against its shoulder and the porcelain colored flesh melted, fusing the missing piece against its body.

It clutched its limb and stretched out its claws, briefly studying itself to see if that puny human caused any further damage.

It seemed satisfied.

It quickly looked at the direction where Jon had fled and it screeched again, getting back on all fours and rushing out, leaving the dead end behind.

" JON! " It howled like a dying animal.

" I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL DEVOUR YOUR ARM! THAT'S A PROMISE! "

It galloped through the halls, absolutely seething, scanning each nook and corners that could lead it to Jon's location.

" WHERE ARE YOU?! "

Its screams of rage had encouraged Jon to avoid staying in one place for too long. So he continues to let himself wander, some turns echoing the voice louder than others. He's not quite sure how long he's been running, but the aching in his legs is beginning to slow him down. "Come on, keep going...!" Jon grunts to himself as he tries to fight through the pain, but it's becoming apparent that he has to find somewhere to rest soon.

" Jooooonnnn.... " It hissed through gritted fangs, "If you show yourself now, maybe I won't tear you limb from limb. Come on, be a good friend and come out, won't you?" As the monster began to speak aloud again, Jon rounded a corner and pressed himself against the cold wall. Every bone within him shook, and it took everything in him to not slide down to the floor.

The creature snarled, still very much enraged by her previous wound. Even a monster of the Stranger can still feel pain, after all. And having to push its fake bones back into place wasn't exactly pleasant.

Seeing that Jon was still nowhere close to her, it halted for a brief instant. "Alright, I may have gotten a little bit angry earlier. But could you blame me? You literally cut my arm off! That's not a very nice thing to do to your friend, is it, Jon?"

Naturally, she knew this wasn't going to entice him to come to her. But it was fun to toy with him.

"You know," It says, "I wonder how your screams would sound like once I get you to the circus... Taking you apart pieces by pieces, to reshape you afterward… Kinda like Sasha, actually! Oh, you should have seen her! She did such a wonderful performance too, squirming under my claws.'' It chuckles, dragging on the last words of her sentence painfully. No matter how hard Jon tried to ignore the taunts of the beast, its words sank in deep. The second that it began to describe Sasha's body being torn apart and put together, he felt himself heave a bit. And yet they continued on, finding humor in how his dear friend suffered.

"She writhed and squirmed when I gave her new joints, too. Human bones are tough, that’s obvious, but they can always be upgraded to better material. No one would see the difference anyway! Especially not you, Jon."

It chuckled eerily.

"Oh, you should have heard her too! She kept on screaming at you and your acolytes' names, too! It was delightful to hear! Actually, why don't you listen to it yourself? You love to listen, don't you?" Jon's breathing began to pick up again until it became quick gasps of air. He did his best to get it under control, but then.

The sound Jon heard was the exact replica of Sasha's voice. He could hear the terror and the agonizing pain in her tone.

"Jon, Martin! Anyone! help, it-it hurts so much! Please, someone, get me out of here! Please! PLEASE, JON! HELP ME! "

It spoke like Sasha. The real Sasha. The begging and pleading that called out into the halls belonged to someone he couldn't recognize. But he knew without a doubt that it was her. "Oh, Christ... Sasha, s-she was--"

How long was she tormented? Ripped apart and reconstructed like some sort of sick puzzle?

" PLEASE, JON! HELP ME! "

"I-I'm so sorry, Sasha..!" Jon whimpered out, clamping a free hand to his mouth to stop a sob bubbling up his throat. The whole time, Sasha was alive, and they did nothing to help her.

The realization hit Jon with such an intensity that he collapsed down the wall with a pathetic thud. The axe followed shortly after, the metal clattering to the stone floor and ringing out beyond where the Archivist could see. He stiffened, eyes widening in horror and darting down to his weapon he had dropped on the floor.

Jon made a huge mistake.

The creature halted its grim imitation suddenly, turning its head sharply toward the direction of the noise she just heard.

Oh, that was too easy.

She did not need to look any longer, she knew exactly where her prey was now.

Not Sasha suddenly appeared right before him.

"There you are."

Jon barely had the time to get up and made another foolish attempt to flee. The monster had already seized his ankle with her inhumanly big, sharp hand, forcing the man to collide brutally against the hard floor beneath him. Jon gasped in pain at the force of the impact.

"Oh, no no, I’m not letting you go anywhere anytime soon!"

Jon uselessly thrashed and scraped his nails on the stone covered ground as Not Sasha simply dragged Jon back to her, flipping him unceremoniously on his back, so he could see her in her full glory, her entire body looming over him, caging him.

"No-- No, no no no--"

Jon's desperate pleas were cut off as the thing that wasn't his Sasha suddenly slammed her other hand against Jon's body, effectively pinning him down under its weight as its dangerous claws were big enough to cover and seize his body.

"Now… What am I going to do with you…?" It said, absolutely relishing the way Jon stared back at her with terrified eyes.

Oh, how much she loved to taste the fear of her prey. This was delightful.

"Hmm... I could do the same thing you did to me... But using that little axe of yours may make it too easy. I think cutting through you myself would be much more fun!" She spoke idly, biting back a laugh when their suggestion only caused the Archivist to squirm more.

"Oh, but I know how much you care about your old Sasha! Maybe taking you to see her one last time, broken and wrong would be more painful!" Jon managed to wriggle an arm out from its grasp, and attempted to punch their long fingers.

It didn't even phase them. "And if you're good, Jon," Not Sasha's face leered down to meet his own, her sharp grin reflecting in the glasses that framed Jon's panicked eyes.

"Maybe I'll tear you apart just like how I did her."

Jon felt his breath snag in his lungs. If being torn apart would be his reward for being "good" Then what would it be if he tried to actually fight back? Probably something worse than death itself.

He wasn't about to find out.

"Just- please, just let me go, I don't-"

"Ah, ah, ah! I didn't chase you through these tunnels all this time just to let you run again, you silly. No, no, I exactly know what I'm going to do with you."

Not Sasha grabbed Jon's wrist between the edge of its claws, observing it.

"Such a frail little limb. Wonder how long it'll take to break."

"Wait--"

Before Jon could utter another useless plea, the monster unhinged its jaws,and violently sank her teeth into his right shoulder, mirroring the damage that Jon did to her just before. The second her horribly sharp teeth punctured into his skin, Jon began to spiral into hysterics. His instincts told him to do something, anything, but the pain clouded his mind to the point where he wasn't able to focus on anything else. Jon screamed.

Not Sasha pulled and pulled on his arm, and a sickening squelch could be heard as her fangs kept digging deeper and deeper inside his shoulder.

As soon as he felt his shoulder about to give out under that thing's fangs, she suddenly released him, pulling her head back to reveal her freshly bloodstained face. It casually wiped the blood that dribbled down its chin, eyeing its work.

"...Actually, I just remembered that Nikola doesn't really like being handed broken playthings. I guess you get to keep your arm this time. Lucky you! ...But then again, I could always replace your arm with something different. I wonder if Nikola would mind… Hmmm."

She tapped her chin, seeming to seriously ponder that option.

“Oh, I sure hope she won't be mad at me for damaging you a bit.”

She looked almost worried, but more for the fact that she could get in trouble for harming Jon rather than being concerned about his well being.

The Not Them had briefly released Jon, as she was too busy trying to shred his shoulder into bits previously. The Archivist stumbled backwards in hopes of gaining some distance between them. But it took nothing more than a tug at his ankle to drag him back.

Hm, she must have tired him out. Good.

"Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait until I hear back from Nikola. In that case," Not Sasha grabbed hold of Jon's torso with one of its large disfigured hands, gripping tightly.

She hummed in satisfaction when she was able to feel the Archivist's heart hammering against her palm.

"It seems like you'll be coming with me." It squeezed him a bit tighter, chuckling as Jon screwed his eyes shut in agony. "N- no! I'll never- AH-!"

A claw prodded in one of the gory punctures on his arm. "Now, now. I was generous enough with letting you keep your arm... don't push it." They dug the finger in deeper to emphasize their point.

For the fun of it, Not Sasha left her claw in the wound, enjoying the sight of her prey writhing in pain. But soon enough, Jon tired himself out, slowly falling limp and shaking with exhaustion. "Someone, p-please...!" He begged. A last ditch effort on his behalf, Not Sasha was sure of it.

"Oh, come now, Jon, no one can hear you. I thought you knew that these tunnels keep things rather well hidden. If none of your friends were able to hear your screams, what makes you think they'll hear your pathetic whimpering?"

He went quiet at that.

"Good. Now, shall we go?"

"Martin, Tim, please...." Jon mumbled to himself, feeling himself close to passing out from the pain.

"I'll take that as a yes." ———————————————- Please let us know if you enjoyed that fic so we can be motivated to write more ❤️

[trashmenofmarvel]

Branded - Chapter 17

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: None. Just smut and sadness.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by @araniaart​ . Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: Explicit sexual content, mentions of past rape/sexual assault

Word Count: 3k

AO3

Your back hit the duvet on Bucky’s bed, soft and plush and very inviting. But all your brain could take in at that moment was the feel of the demon above you, strong arms holding you down as your legs encircled his waist.

His mouth was on your neck, all warm lips and a hint of sharp teeth. You were 74% positive you could come just from that, as keyed up as you were and as insanely good as it felt.

Each brush of his lips and each light scrape of his teeth made you squirm and pant like an animal. Your hands were in his soft hair, crushing him to your throat as your hips desperately rubbed against the hard planes of his abdomen.

Bucky let loose one of those low growls that sent a pleasant jolt up your spine before he broke contact with your skin. You were about to complain from the cruel lack of contact until you realized he was moving downward, his hands unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans with deft, practiced movements.

Subdued and placated for the moment, you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him, biting your lip as he removed his trademark black jacket, a long-sleeved blue Henley underneath.

He seemed to favor them, and you didn’t mind at all.

It was strange. Despite the fact you felt you were going to burst at any moment, you were more lucid now than during any of the previous encounters. You weren’t so overcome with lust that your brain was clouded, as if under a spell. You felt perfectly within control of your mind, if not totally in control of your body.

Hell, even if you could have stopped all of this, you wouldn’t have wanted to. The sight of Bucky pulling off your shoes and lifting your hips to tug down your pants left you breathless with need. You stripped off your own jacket, leaving on your shirt since taking it off required way more coordination than your trembling fingers had at the moment.

His eyes were growing darker by the second, every inch the predator he seemed to be, and those eyes never left your face, blazing blue with the strength of his own desire. Bucky had left your underwear on, a fact that would have been unfairly frustrating if he also hadn’t grabbed your hips and tugged you to the edge of the bed.

Bucky spread your thighs and knelt between your knees, leaving you dumb and speechless as he gazed up at you with a quiet sort of hunger. His wings were furled behind him, their leathery edges tickling the inside of your calves and ankles.

“I wanna try something different,” he asked in a low, gravelly tone that sent your head spinning. “That okay?”

“S-sure,” you responded, raspy.

Neither of you had other options when it came to the feeding, it had to be done, but being asked for your opinion made it feel more… normal. It let you pretend for a moment that you and Bucky were together by choice.

The mystery of his proposal was quickly answered as he turned his head to the side and planted a kiss on the inside of your thigh.

You jumped, hard enough your face immediately heated with embarrassment, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lip as his lips continued a trail upward.

He didn’t bother telling you to relax, which you appreciated, since your body felt like a taut string about to snap. Instead, all Bucky said was, “Lie back,” and you did so, fisting your hands into the covers with near-feverish anticipation.

Your shoulder burned, your brand punishing you for the delay, but you couldn’t find it within you to tell him to hurry up, mostly because you couldn’t talk. Gone was every thought in your head as you felt Bucky mouth and lick over your soaked panties.

Your hips jolted as you released a whimper, feeling like you might die if he kept teasing you. And Bucky was teasing you, licking and prodding your clothed sex with his lips and fingers, forcing sweat to break out on your skin despite the chill in the air.

He’d never done something like this before. He’d always just gotten straight to the point, with you too much of a feverish mess to care about the lack of foreplay.

But now? Now you felt something more than the forced human-demon bond. You wanted Bucky, and you didn’t think you could hide it for much longer.

He froze when your hands reached down and touched his hair, curling into the long, soft strands. And when you wrapped your fingers around his horns and pressed your palms against the rough surface, gripping them like bicycle handles, he lost the last of his control.

Bucky ripped off your panties and buried his face between your legs, pressing the flat of his tongue hard against you as he took one long, possessive lick.

Your back arched off the bed and you actually saw stars. A noise you’d never made before, high-pitched and tortuous, came out of your mouth, and you gripped his horns tighter, pulling them toward you as you tried to fuck yourself on his tongue.

Bucky was having none of it; he wrapped his strong arms around your thighs and pulled them over his shoulders, holding them in place as he licked you again, tongue warm and wet and—oh… definitely longer than a humans.

“Fuck,” you choked out, squirming, the sensations too much but not enough. It felt insanely good, and your tightening abdominal muscles meant you were going to come soon, but you didn’t want it to end, not when he’d just started. You wanted him to climb up your body, hold you and actually kiss you, a real goddamn kiss—

—but at the same time, you couldn’t bear to tell him to stop. Not with his tongue now prodding your entrance, pushing inside and manipulating you with way more flexibility than a human tongue could ever provide.

In a move that made your vision actually swim with tears, Bucky pressed the flat base of his tongue against your clit while somehow managing to fuck you with the rest of its length.

You let out another choked noise, practically squeezing him between your thighs as your legs crossed behind his head, your hands tugging on his swept-back horns, desperate to pull him closer.

Bucky let loose a growl, gripped your hips tightly in his arms, and without warning, sucked on your clit as if to devour you.

That was all it took, pushing you over the edge as you arched your back and cried, your mind going pleasantly white for a moment before returning back to your writhing body. Pleasure pulsed across every inch of skin, the burst of energy released by your orgasm pulled down and outward at the point where his mouth met your skin.

Bucky was feeding off you. Surprise mixed with the continuous orgasm, and you moaned needfully as you kept a hold of his horns like your life depended on it. Bucky lapped at you, drinking you down as he made a groaning noise of his own.

You were completely wracked, exhausted as he finally pulled away and you were allowed to come down from your high, but you didn’t want to stop. Not yet.

“Wait…” you said, clumsily reaching out when he sat back on his heels. The sight of him licking your slick off his lips left an echo of desire in its wake. “You didn’t… come, did you?”

To your surprise, he gave a light snort and appeared almost sheepish.

“Don’t worry about that. Sit tight. I’ll be right back, okay?”

You simply stared at him, as if you had the strength to go anywhere right now, and watched as he rose to his clawed feet and disappeared from view. To the bathroom, you realized, when his retreating form disappeared into the alcove you had spotted earlier.

Shivering as you became very aware of the chilly temperature, you curled onto your side and pulled your knees up to your chest, tilting your head up to look longingly at the head of the bed where several plush, grey pillows leaned against the headboard. They were only a few feet away, but it might as well have been miles.

The obvious didn’t occur to you until Bucky returned and began gently, carefully cleaning up the mess between your legs. You rolled onto your back, clumsily batting away his hands.

“C’mon, stop that,” you mumbled, “I’m just going to get dirty again.”

You felt clumsy and warm from the aftereffects of the feeding, even sounding a little punch-drunk to your own ears. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?” he intoned, flat and unamused.

“Aren’t we gonna… you know…”

Your ears went hot as your entire face flushed, and Bucky had the decency to only mildly smirk at you. It might have been a mocking gesture, but damn he looked good while doing it.

“Why would we? The feeding’s already done. You can feel that, right?”

Did you feel the uncontrollable magical lust retreat so you could function like a normal human being? Sure, but, that wasn’t the damn point!

While you floundered for a response, Bucky picked you up from the bed and laid you against the pillows. He was always so careful when he picked you up, as if afraid you would shatter in his arms, and it made you even more flustered.

“Y-yeah, but…”

You trailed off, watching as Bucky turned to a nearby dresser. He pulled out a pair of pajama pants, blue-and-white plaid that looked super soft, and he turned back and handed it to you.

“Sorry, this’ll have to do for now until I wash your clothes. They’re kinda… ruined.” There was that sheepish look again, but from the spark in his eye you saw an echo of pride in that fact.

You took the pants from him and pulled them up your legs, sighing at the feel of the soft material against your skin. “I—I can leave in a few minutes after I catch my breath—“

Bucky was already shaking his head.

“Maybe you don’t feel it yet but it’s gonna hit you soon, especially since I wasn’t as careful as I should have been.” He licked his lips nervously and looked away. “Stay the night. I won’t bother you.”

“You don’t bother me,” you muttered grumpily, apparently not possessing your usual filter post-feeding. What an annoying side effect. You winced as you managed to pull up the covers and slip underneath them. The feel of the cold sheets made you shiver. “And you keep avoiding the subject.”

Bucky released a tired sigh, the tension of his shoulders as he stared down at the sheets obvious.

“Why would I make you go through all that again if we didn’t have to?”

You opened your mouth to answer. Nothing came out. It took a few seconds for you to give a weak answer, and not the one you really wanted to give.

“Are you… sure it was enough? Doing it that way? I mean, you didn’t…”

“Yeah, I did,” he insisted. “When you came, so did I. That’s how the feeding works; we’re connected on some kind of… energy level. I don’t understand everything about how it works, but I do know I can feed through oral sex. I mean, I’d never done it quite that way before, but… I guess the same rules still apply.”

You blinked at his vague answer, feeling incredibly stupid, like you were missing something you should be understanding.

“What do you mean… you’d never done it that way before? What way? What rules?”

Bucky grimaced, his tail returning to its usual nervous twitch whenever he was distressed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh.”

You dropped your eyes and gripped your fingers on the covers, pulling them up a little as you tried not to be hurt by the statement. He still had things he wanted to keep private, and you couldn’t resent him for that, not when you were keeping too many of your own feelings hidden.

You heard him sigh, a tired, frustrated sound. “No, it’s… shit. It’s not your fault. It’s just hard to revisit that stuff.”

“You don’t have to—“ you were quick to say, but he interrupted just as quickly.

“Yeah, I do. We promised transparency, right?”

You looked up at him, just in time to see him run his normal hand through his hair. The movement was semi-distracting, especially since you knew exactly just how soft that hair was now.

Bucky leveled you with a look that made it seem as if he was bracing for something.

“Remember the whole succubus/incubus argument we had before? Well, regardless of what I am now, I was a succubus. And I was forced to feed exclusively on… on men.”

Bucky paused, shifting on his feet and looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. You were about to tell him it was fine, he didn’t have to tell you anything he didn’t want to, but he continued in a tense, low tone.

“I don’t know why they made me that way. If it was because I already liked guys as well as girls, or if it was because of that fucker Zola who turned me into this—this thing. Whatever the reason…”

He grimaced again, so hard it was a wince.

“…that’s how I always had to feed. That’s how HYDRA made me feed. By sucking guys off, by letting them fuck me. After they fucked with my head and made it so I couldn’t remember anything, they made it seem like the feedings were a reward.”

He shook his head, pulling back his lips over his teeth in a humorless smile.

“But the result was the same. I never had a choice. So… if I can do anything in my power to make this less invasive for you, then I’m gonna do it.”

His hand returned to his hair again, brushing it back in a restless, irritated fashion, and you were struck with the image of a predator pacing in a cage as he moved back and forth near the foot of the bed.

“One of my handlers, he showed me a book once. It had sketches, real old ones, of different feedings. One of them showed a female incubus feeding from a woman, so I thought… maybe it’d be better doing it that way than forcing you to…”

He trailed off, his expression almost sickened now.

You felt the same way, nauseous and horrified, but not at Bucky. Never at Bucky.

Bucky had had to feed before. On people other than you. And entirely against his will.

The idea seemed obvious now, but it still left you entirely speechless.

“So…” He looked away from you, flexing his jaw as he moved to pick up your clothing from the ground. “No. I’m not going to make you endure any more than you have to.”

Shame filled you so fast and so deeply it made your eyes prickle with tears as you looked away. Having to feed on people, being forced to have sex against his will, of course it had been a nightmare for him. How had you never realized that before?

And here you were, treating it like it was some kind of casual fling in the hopes that someday it could be something deeper. Pretending that this whole situation wasn’t the result of Bucky suffering at the hands of HYDRA decades ago.

“I’m sorry,” you said, dropping your eyes to your curled hands in your lap. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

Bucky made an annoyed huff, his tone just the same as he said, “That’s not—I didn’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for—Jesus, don’t apologize, all right? I’ll feel more like an asshole than I already do. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”

You couldn’t stop the annoyed sigh before you’d already made the noise, your hands curling into fists.

“Why. For accepting a toy from a kid? Come on, Bucky.” You looked up at him, slightly tilting your head as you gave him an imploring expression. “It’s not your fault. It’s not mine, either. Can we just put the blame where it belongs? With those Nazi fuckers?”

Bucky released an amused snort, looking almost startled that he’d made it. You began to hope, just for a moment, that you’d gotten through to him, but then he shook his head and turned away. He approached a light switch on the wall, pausing with his demonic, armored hand inches from the switch.

“Go to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Without waiting for a reply, he flicked off the light with a clawed nail, leaving the apartment in muted darkness. Only the distant lights of the city shining through the clock faces made it so the penthouse wasn’t completely pitch black.

Trying not to pout and failing, you laid back under the covers, releasing another heavy sigh that you knew he could hear. Good. Let him know what an ass he was being. Not to you, but to himself. Why couldn’t he see that none of this was his fault, and he was actually an amazing, caring, wonderful person doing the best he could in a shitty situation?

It felt like you were hitting a brick wall, over and over and over again. God, why did it seem the only time you two got along was when he was holding you down and making you come?

Your own question made your cheeks flush, and you turned over on your side, pulling the blanket up to your chin. Your warm skin made it more obvious how cold the clock tower really was. Surely the guy could afford central heating? He had to be loaded to afford this place. You didn’t know where he got his money from, but it was obvious he wasn’t hard up for cash.

Despite the chill settling on your skin, and despite your best efforts to attune your hearing to the quiet apartment for signs of Bucky moving around (there were none), you eventually stumbled into a restless sleep. One that didn’t last long. You kept surfacing into a half-conscious state, shivering violently as your limbs curled into protective positions.

It wasn’t until you felt the bed dip and warm, strong arms wrap around your waist that your muscles stopped trembling, and you fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Next Chapter

[microcos-pod]

Micro-Cosmos S1E7 Transcript: Miraculously Misplaced

(“Hello world. This is Chronicling Log One, of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion.” CONTENT WARNINGS: yelling, peril, brief claustrophobia, mentions of unreality, paranoia, and the fear of going insane.  Transcript begins below break.)

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

ANNOUNCER Futuristic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

[THEME MUSIC FADES OUT]

*** [sfx: external storm ambiance echoing through the cave, button press]

FELIX Um... hello world. This...This is Chronicling Log One, of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. I am the science officer on duty with Omnitarian Establishment Crew, erm... zero three... no, we're um...

Zero-one-three-seven-F. Yes. It says so right here.

You'll have to forgive me. Ordinarily, when I make these recordings, they're for my own notes, or for my scientific peers. I am not used to simply... documenting the goings-on, especially... my goings-on... when confined to a cave.

According to Athena, this is for a chronicling protocol called a Code Drag. It refers to, if memory serves, a distress situation without a contingency that, at present, makes mission objectives impossible to complete. That is to say, we have been "dragged" off course. There is no contingency plan for a cinderburst. Cal says they're too rare to even warrant such a thing, nor is there enough research to determine how one could occur here. If these storms supposed to be characteristic of desert terrain, however, I would say Ophiuchus is hardly a suitable candidate. Not that I can research such a claim when I have no signal to reach any external databases that could be of help. No, that would be too easy.

Instead of that, what I do is I sit inside of a cave, talking to myself, and try to avoid going... slightly mad. If I wasn't there already, of course. I wonder how Athena manages it.

For the sake of my friend, however, I am sucking it up and beginning with these entries. I've been procrastinating for long enough, so, I will see to it that I make this log faithful to its purpose, and as honest as I can manage. I'll start with a caution, though. This cave is dull, even considering what you would expect from a cave, namely: not much. For that reason, I'm afraid I cannot guarantee you anything riveting, my dear listener. Consider yourself to be warned.

So, I hear you ask me: What have I, Doctor Felix Couvillion, been up to, now that myself and my friends have spent about... oh, a day and a half inside a damp, cavernous lair of darkness? You ask me, 'Felix, what are the Tales from the Tunnels? The Stories from the Stones? The Accounts of'... a, a, um... a cave. The cave, which I'm sure I will have memorised every vein of by the time daylight decides to reappear.

In short, I've been working. Making note of the vegetation in here, and how it might help us. I've found a new variant of fruit-bearing vine, actually. Edible. Similar to a terran gooseberry. It will make for a decent snack, once my trail mix finally runs out. A sad day, that will be. Somehow I don't find this discovery as exciting as I should. The Commander, she tries hard to keep our morale afloat, but... you know. It hasn't been long, and somehow, I already feel as though we are... contained. Stuck in some version of a time capsule, and... preserved until the next moment we are meant for is to resume.

[Felix sighs.]

FELIX (CONT'D) There's no wildlife in here, as of yet. No water either. That makes sense, on paper. The fact of the matter is that carbon-based animal life needs water. Including us. In a worst case scenario, our current water supply wouldn't last us. So, I either solve this problem, or we all slowly die of dehydration, sucking the juice out of vine berries as a last ditch attempt to survive. Yeesh. Not a pretty picture, hm?

Which is why I will make my third trek to scout a potable water source this afternoon. If I'm able to find room in my busy schedule Oh! In between my rounds, though, I have found something to pass the time-He stops again. This is... what a chronicling log is for, yes? Cataloguing however our time is spent inside an unavoidable disaster?

Sure it is. Anyways. I have... wait for it... I have rediscovered my love for card tricks! And I can still manage to do them, too. It's like it never left me, in a way. Like riding a bike for the mind. Or, as Morgan once put it, riding a bike for nerds. Here, I'll show you. ...You can’t see me. Dammit. Well, let's try it like this, then. Were you here, dear listener, you would shuffle the deck. You would pick a card, only in your mind. And then, you'd give the deck back to me, and after a series of convoluted detours through what seems like a magical process, the card would end up in your pocket, a place it certainly shouldn't be. Ta da! Okay, okay, a magician shouldn't reveal his tricks, I know. But I can't contain myself, so I'll give you a tidbit. I forced a card on you, at the start. You thought it was your choice. It wasn't. It was, likely, the Ace of Dishes. Good card. I'm fond of it. It's an interesting thing, that trick. According to the logical part of your brain, the card should be in the deck, with the rest of its friends. It’s family, if you will. Your eyes told you it should be there, and so of course, you're expecting it to be there. Or were you? That card, from the second you or I chose it, when you saw it, and we convinced each other that it was special, or different, the, hm... well, the zeitgeist of the situation told you that by the end of the trick... that card wasn't going to be in it's rightful place. It wasn't going to be like all the others. It was going to be... miraculously misplaced. In reality, the misdirection relies on both expectations. It needs the voice of reason, and the voice of the little child inside your brain that really really really wants magic to be real, just so it can stir a whit of joy. In my experience, though, most things in life that are misplaced from where they belong, it's... not a good situation. Take our example. One looks down at the flowers for a moment, giving the storm just enough time to sneak up and tap him on the shoulder, and... Abracadabra. Misdirected... misplaced from mission objectives. This kind of thing... does not bring much joy, does it? That's my insight, anyways. And that's about as much as I can fill a Chronicling Log with, for now. I'm going to check up with the others. Um, Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion, ending Log One.

[sfx: button click]

***

ATHENA ... That's a dog?

MILES Yeah. It's supposed to be! Like... bark?

ALEX Sorry, I... honestly thought it was supposed to be a sock puppet.

MILES Sock puppets don't have ears!

ATHENA ...An ear?

ALEX That's an ear?

ATHENA I mean I figured it was an animal of some kind, but-

MILES I never claimed to be good at shadow puppets, okay?

C41 Clearly.

MILES Cal, you don't have tangible hands, you don't get an opinion.

C41 At least I know that dogs aren't that long.

[sfx: approaching footsteps]

ALEX Yeah, actually, kinda... looks like that little cat thing that bit Felix.

FELIX It was a spray, not a bite. That makes it sound a lot more gross, actually.

[Alex claps her hands.]

ALEX Nice to see the party's finally here!

FELIX Hm? "Party"? That's new.

ALEX Did you bring the deck of cards?

FELIX Of course.

ALEX Then you're the party.

[Felix laughs.]

ALEX (CONT'D) Where've you been?

FELIX Recording my first chronicling log. I figured an update on my perspective was in order.

ATHENA Oh, good, thank you. How'd it go?

FELIX Um... well, I think. A bit meandering, maybe. Not anything special.

ATHENA Honestly, however they end up going is fine. It's just a matter of getting an account from everyone of how they're doing and what's going on. That's all I really have to do, most of the time. You'd be surprised how useful a ramble is when you have it on file. What did you meander about?

FELIX Oh just... you know. Something that I've been brushing up on. Here, I'll show you, actually.

MILES Sure, just share your talents with the class I guess.

C41 This should be interesting.

[sfx: unboxing and shuffling playing cards]

MILES What is this?

FELIX It's a card trick.

MILES A card trick...

FELIX Correct. Can I have a volunteer?

[Athena, Alex and C41 respond positively.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Miles, thank you, so kind of you to volunteer.

MILES My hand was not up.

FELIX Here, shuffle these.

MILES Ugh. Fine.

[sfx: cards shuffling]

FELIX No, don't give them to me! That's against the rules.

MILES Oookay. I'll keep em.

FELIX You're thinking of a particular one, I can tell.

MILES Uh... sure. Six of stars?

FELIX No, no, that's not it. Come on, this one only works if we convince each other that it's going to work. It was a low card, something... special.

MILES Low, and... special? Like an Ace?

FELIX It was an Ace?

MILES Yeah. Yeah, an Ace.

FELIX But not the Ace of Stars? We've got Planets, Comets, Dishes and Stars, but... How about you pick two of those, Officer Abbott?

MILES Dishes and Stars.

FELIX We'll keep the Dishes and the Stars then, and get rid of the other two. But it wasn't Stars, so the Ace of Dishes, then?

MILES Yeah.

FELIX The Ace of Dishes was the first card that came to mind, you're sure?

MILES Yeah.

FELIX Perfect. Athena, could you pick a number for me? It could be anywhere between, er... one to ten.

ATHENA Seven.

FELIX Seven. Very well. Miles, can I have the deck back?

MILES Oh, that's allowed now?

FELIX Of course, don't be silly. Now, I'm going to pull seven cards off the top of this deck that Miles shuffled and, well... we'll see what happens.

[sfx: cards being drawn from the deck]

FELIX (CONT'D) One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.

Oh... dear, that's not it.

MILES Jack of Comets. Figured it wouldn't-

FELIX Indeed. Wait, Miles, what's that?

MILES What's what?

FELIX In your shirt pocket.

[sfx: an emphatic rustling and card flip.

FELIX This?

MILES The... Ace... of Dishes. Wait.

[Athena applauds.]

[Alex laughs.]

ALEX Hey now, how the hell did you do that?

FELIX Ah, ah. Magicians. Secrets. You know the rules.

ALEX I bet Cal knows.

C41 I have... an idea or two, but I'm not exactly sure, really. Nice job.

FELIX Thank you.

MILES I don't know how you did that. I am going to find out how you did that.

[sfx: lots of movement]

[Indistuguishable frenzied comments from the crew.]

***

[sfx: echoing footsteps, very distant external storm ambiance.]

[sfx: button click.]

FELIX Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. Recording Chronicling Log... Two, I suppose. Though it hasn't been long.

I had to escape from Miles's endless, somewhat terrifying questions. I fear those will be a common occurrence from this point on.

Anywho. I am currently... well, I don't know exactly where I am. My analog compass says I am southeast of our campsite, which is just outside the entrance to the tunnel system. But, I'm not so sure. You would think this little gadget would be unaffected by the storm, but the cinderbust seems to be acting on all of our other equipment as if it were somehow a geomagnetic storm. This, of course, may mean it is confusing the compass needle as well. 

So I'm not sure I can trust in that bearing. What I do know is, I took a left. So at least I have that to go on.

I did promise the Commander that I wouldn't stray too far from the camp when I'm alone. But I'm not alone. I'm on the hunt for a source of water, and I'm taking you, whoever will listen to this, with me for the journey. So technically, I'm keeping my promise, while getting results. Hopefully. Hopefully getting results. It isn't like I have any real reason to be concerned about my safety. Like I had mentioned, there have been no encounters with wildlife as of yet. Then again, I've been wrong before. It would be just my luck to end up being wrong again. But, I survived Mercutio, ergo, I could likely survive anything. The little devil.

[sfx: flashlight clicks on]

FELIX (CONT'D) Let there be light.

Ah. It appears we've reached a choice to make. Hm. Left... or... right. I'd rather not go in a circle. Right it is.

Left, then right. Left, then right. Left then... right. Okay.

So, anyways. I hadn't had any previous luck taking a right initially, where I first chose to go left. My left. Not... upon return- never mind. I know what I mean. I hadn't gone too far that way, in any case. 

Only today did I figure out the loophole in my promise, and... in terms of balancing my very busy schedule, I figure that it's best not to spend all my time fretting over dehydration. Going prematurely mad is not in my plans.

There are some interesting mineral formations on the ceiling. It may be worth taking a sample to submit on my way back. They're a sort of bluish-white, and they seem to form in hexagonal clusters, about three to four centimetres in length. Quite pretty. Pretty enough to understand the appeal of geology, if only for a moment. No offence to geologists, of course.

No luminescence is visible from the formations. My torch is the only current source of light. I suppose luminescence would have been too much to hope for. It is... rather dark, this way. Miles wouldn't like it. I don't think Miles likes many things, come to think of it. There's a grumpy individual if you ever did see one. But, a decent traveling companion when the mood strikes them-

[sfx: walking stops]

FELIX (CONT'D) Dead end. Hm. I'll make a mental note.

[sfx: footsteps resume]

FELIX (CONT'D) That's annoying. Back the way we came, then.

It might have done me good to bring Cal along. Most of their functions may be, er, rusty, at present, but they still have the sensors for these sort of things. Or perhaps I should have brought the Commander. Navigations, and all. Eh. I'm still not too far. And I have you, don't I, my trusty comms friend?

Even if you're not one for conversation. The brooding type. Strong and silent. I can work with that. And I can be fairly sure that I'm-

[sfx: footsteps stop suddenly]

FELIX (CONT'D) What?

[A long silence.]

[Felix swallows and chuckles nervously.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well. I... must not have been paying attention as well as I'd thought.

I've just... I've just come up against another dead end. Where I thought... no, where the entrance to this passage should be. Where... where it just... was.

It can't have just... filled behind me. I would have heard the crash.

Right?

Same tunnel. Same... crystals. Perhaps a bit more on the indigo side that I had originally noticed. No more, or, um, less lacking luminescence.

Alright, er... Perhaps I took a turn and passed it. I'll retrace... my steps. What you're looking for is always in the last place you check, right?

[sfx: footsteps]

[Felix breathes shakily.]

[sfx: sound of distant running water fades in]

FELIX (CONT'D) Do you... do you hear that? That sounds like...

[sfx: the water sound recedes, replaced by storm ambiance]

FELIX (CONT'D) Sounds like... wishful thinking.

No, I could've sworn. I could have sworn. I'm not mad. I'm not.

FELIX (CONT'D) Don't you look at me like that. You're a bundle of wires and metal. You're not capable of going mad, only getting broken.

I... I wonder which is worse.

[sfx: a draft blowing in from the right side]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well. I... hadn't noticed that before. There's an offshoot path here, in between... I suppose in between dead ends. It must... it would have to lead deeper into the cave. I can't... This doesn't make any sense.

[Felix struggles to look inside the narrow path.]

FELIX (CONT'D) I can't make out anything inside. Very dark, but... But there's a draft. Meaning... it must lead outside. No daylight, however.

Well, of course there's no daylight, Felix. Remember why you're here in the first place.

[sfx: the draft stops unnaturally abruptly]

FELIX (CONT'D) Well, that doesn't make any sense, now does it?

The wind from the passage seems to have... turned off. Just... just like that.

I should just go back the way I came. Yes. That's what I should do.

[sfx: the sound of running water resumes]

FELIX (CONT'D) Wait... is... am I hearing that right...?

Not right now, thank you. I could do without the difficult decision.

Fine. Fine! Fine then, I'll just...

[He struggles further to get inside the path, with a few laboured mutterings.]

[Felix pants.]

[sfx: water droplets hitting the ground.]

FELIX (CONT'D) Yahtzee.

[sfx; unscrewing a thermos, letting water drip inside]

FELIX (CONT'D) I'll have to ensure this is potable, first. Or if I can make it potable. I'm sure it will be fine... Either way this is a good sign for our continued survival.

[sfx: extremely loud shifting of rock]

FELIX (CONT'D) What in the... What was that?

I've got enough of this to test but... The only problem is, I don't know that I could find it again. I... almost certainly don't know where I am.

[sfx: another creaking shift of rock]

[Felix gasps and exclaims.]

FELIX (CONT'D) What... I'm sorry, I just... felt a shift there, it startled me.

There's obviously an explanation for this but... I don't think I'm in any state to continue this trip. I need... I need to get back to camp.

[sfx: footsteps resume]

FELIX (CONT'D) Next time, if I ever come back this way, I'm bringing someone with me.

[sfx: running water fades out]

FELIX (CONT'D) Wait, uh... where... but I had just looked through...

I can't see that passage anymore. Where I got the water. Can you?

Of course you can't. I'm talking to myself. I bet no one will ever even listen to these. It isn't as if you care. You let this happen in the first place, sent us somewhere new without contingencies, and I'll bet you still don't feel responsible.

It's there. You can't see it from this angle, but it's there, you just can't see it in the dark.

[sfx: extremely loud stone creaking and moving]

FELIX (CONT'D) I need to go. I need to... I need to leave.

[sfx: running footsteps]

[Felix pants.]

[sfx: footsteps slow and stop]

FELIX (CONT'D) Left or... right? I swear, this doesn't... what was that goddamn sound?!

No. No, you shouldn't hear this. Am I transmitting, or... is this a recording-

[sfx: comms click]

***

[sfx: comms click]

ATHENA -were just looking for you.

FELIX I know, I know, I lost track of time-

ATHENA Alex was worried sick, we thought we heard you yell-

FELIX Well, that's very kind of her, but I-

ATHENA Felix... are you okay? Did something-

FELIX I'm fine.

ATHENA Okay.

Next time, maybe, take one of us with you. Or at least tell us when you'll be back.

FELIX Sure, sure. In any case, it was a success.

[sfx: unscrewing a thermos]

FELIX (CONT'D) Water. Fresh. Hopefully potable.

ATHENA That's great! That's a relief. Okay. Where did you find it?

FELIX Oh. Heh. Funny you should ask, actually.

ATHENA Oh?

FELIX Yes, I... see I was fine, but along the way I got a little... lost, it wasn't anything to be concerned about, but... I may have a little trouble finding it again.

ATHENA Oh.

FELIX Ah, but, don't worry.

I kept the recorder running.

ATHENA Uh... well, that's good. It definitely makes my job a lot easier.

FELIX Well, yes, and I... wasn't alone.

ATHENA Right.

FELIX And! And, perhaps if I give this a listen, it would help me figure where I got turned around. Nothing a second journey won't fix.

ATHENA Not alone this time.

FELIX Not alone the first time because I personified my comms but... yes I see your point.

ATHENA Well, let's give it a listen, then.

FELIX Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

[sfx: button pressing]

FELIX (CONT'D) It should be my most recent... input, let's see here. Ah. There.

[sfx: button press]

RECORDING FELIX Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion. Recording Chronicling Log... Two, I suppose. Though it hasn't been long.

[sfx: a sudden click, lasting static]

ATHENA Um, Felix?

FELIX ...Yes?

ATHENA Was that the end of the recording?

FELIX No. Definitely not.

ATHENA Then why... did you stop talking?

FELIX I didn't stop talking, I kept it running the whole time, I only turned it off just before I saw you!

ATHENA Something must have happened, then. Can I see it?

FELIX Sure, sure.

ATHENA It doesn't look like a corrupted file, in fact, everything seems to be working fine. Out here, at least.

Maybe the storm messed with your comms too, somehow. Or maybe... maybe there's some good conductors in the stone too, deeper in the cave, that could have thrown off your signal, or...

FELIX Or it could have been my own fault.

ATHENA It happens to the best of us, Felix.

FELIX Well, finding that source again just got infinitely harder, didn't it?

ATHENA Maybe? I don't know. Either way, we have time before that search becomes urgent, and, at least we know it exists. Hopefully we never really have to worry about it at all.

FELIX That doesn't make it any less frustrating, though, does it?

ATHENA Well, technology is wonderful, when it works. I appreciate the fact that you were recording anything for me at all, I know that code protocol can be a pain.

FELIX Well, strange as it sounds, I'm glad these protocols exist. It makes it seem like an effort is being made to keep things sorted, I suppose.

ATHENA Keeping our ducks in a row?

FELIX Precisely.

ATHENA Well, I can only hope. I've never had to run a crew-wide chronicling operation before outside of a drill. I was hoping I would never have to.

FELIX One narrator of this comedy of errors should have been enough?

ATHENA Precisely.

Anyways, do you want to head back to camp now? Everyone will want to know you're alright.

FELIX They were really worried?

ATHENA Of course they were. Alex wants her ducks in a row, too. An odd one out wouldn't be good for us.

FELIX Like an Ace of Dishes.

ATHENA Only, we were pretty sure you weren't in Miles's pocket.

[Both laugh.]

ATHENA (CONT'D) Here.

[sfx: footsteps]

ATHENA (CONT'D) This way.

***

FELIX Chronicling Log of Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion, third part.

It's past evening now, into the night. I think the others have gone to bed. Yet, it appears that I can't sleep. Something about today unnerved me. There is no explanation for my confusion, except my own anxieties, my paranoia, what have you. I know that.

I know that in the same way I know that the walls of a cave don't move around you. Not unless you are very patient, dead, or mad.

In my case, the jury is still out on the latter.

A planet isn't conscious, it isn't sentient, it shouldn't know who I am.

And yet, there's nothing left of that recording to even tell you what I mean. All that's left is how I remember it, and that perturbs me.

Here's the thing: I can tell myself that I lost my way in a dead end simply because I am afraid of what happens when I turn my back. But if I deem that fear a sound rationalization... then I may have something to evaluate. A time of soul-searching, hopefully. In the company of a snack.

ALEX Yikes. Deep. Make sure you have your coffee first.

FELIX Commander! Where did- I'm sorry, I thought you were asleep with the others, did I wake you-

[Alex laughs quietly.]

ALEX Shh, shhh! Athena and Miles are still asleep, I was just... I was... never mind.

[sfx: Alex sits down.]

ALEX (CONT'D) You recording?

FELIX Er, yes. As redundant as it may seem. 

ALEX Redundant?

FELIX Yes. Just between you and me, boss? I doubt anyone will ever listen to these.

ALEX You really think so?

FELIX The good folks back at headquarters tend to overindulge on bureaucracy. Efficiency is prioritised to the detriment of efficiency.

Perhaps the duty will be passed on to an Artificial Intelligence like our friend. I suppose that works just as well.

ALEX There's the silver lining I was waiting for.

FELIX Oh, don't rely on me for that.

ALEX Why not? It's worked so far.

Case and point: that card trick was probably the silver lining of my day. And I still have no idea how you did it.

FELIX Really?

ALEX Really. No clue. Unless Miles was in on it, but I seriously doubt that.

FELIX I can show you.

ALEX Yeah?

[sfx: rustling through a bag, cards rustling, flipping and shuffling]

FELIX Certainly.

Now, the first thing is, Miles didn't pick the Ace of Dishes. I did. And then I convinced them that they did. And convincing Miles Abbott of something is probably the hardest part of any trick, so if you can manage that... this next part is quite easy.

ALEX The next part is the actual trick, you mean.

FELIX The convincing is the trick. If you can't even convince yourself that you can do it, make a card do something miraculous, how are you going to convince the people watching?

ALEX Good point. Teach me.

FELIX Very well. So it looks like this, when we actually do it. Pulling it out of a pocket.

[sfx: card flick]

FELIX (CONT’D) But really, we're just folding the card behind quickly as you flick it off the bottom of the pack, like that, and then... you cup it into your palm when you reach out. It never leaves your hand.

[sfx: the same card flick, but slower]

[sfx: a card sliding]

ALEX Oh. Ohhhhh, okay! Gimme one.

[Felix laughs.]

[sfx: passing Alex a card.]

FELIX Give it a try.

ALEX Okay... so... take it from the bottom of the... deck, and then-

[sfx: a similar card flick, a similar card slide]

ALEX (CONT’D) Like that?

FELIX Yes. Exactly.

ALEX Alright. Alright, okay. So... from here...

[sfx: a quick card flick, a quick card slide]

ALEX Like that?

FELIX Ha! You picked that up quickly, sir.

[sfx: repeated flick and slide of the card performed by Alex]

ALEX I can do more than play Go Fish, Couvillion.

FELIX That's for certain. It's double trouble for the rest of the crew, in any case. Two magicians are better than one, you know.

[sfx: card sounds stop]

ALEX Oh, man. Miles is going to hate this.

***

ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

This episode, Miraculously Misplaced, was written by Lauren Tucker, edited by Luka Miller, and directed by Jesse Smith and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex de la Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman. Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. Enjoying the show, and want to give us a boost? You can support us by rating and reviewing us on iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts, or telling a friend about us. To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via futuretrailmixpros@gmail.com. Thank you for listening. ***

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[nyanzaya]

@if-that-so inquired: 💋💖💄👓🔫🔮🎤🎪🍸🍯🍰⛄⏳💐⚾🌊🌵🍒🐝💳👠👻💉🃏😊🙁 tbh i want to ask all... And also, there are some i already know but i just want to make sure 😘 

oc questions

💋 What traits do they like in other people? What traits do they not like?

Iza: The traits Iza likes in other people is intellect? He likes smart people, but he also doesn’t like smart people. He loves people who are a little gullible/inattentive because he would take advantage of it in small ways to get what he wants. Direct people are his favorite but also his bane because he hates to be put in the spotlight when they call things/point things out.

Zuo: Zuo likes when someone is laid back, fun and just a calming presence to be around. The traits he dislikes are: Deceptive, dishonest, indecisive and of course provoking in terms of trying to rile him up and get him angry

💖 Do they have a significant other? If so, who?

In their canon they were significant others; but things happened and now they are broken up even though under the sheets they still want to be together. You could say that they are still significant others but if they find anyone else to be with instead of each other then they let each other go. In a way you could say Zuo and Iza are still significant others with each other but as of right now they don’t have a significant other-- (and if i were to make this blog single ship I think I might make them significant others again but it would be like wild af)

💄 Do they care about their physical appearance? What’s their routine like?

Iza: He cares a lot about how he looks. From how his hair is style to the make up he has on. He wants to look the best and be the “best in show” Often, he is asleep during the day but whenever he does wake up he washes his face, fixes his hair to look well-kept and then he puts on eyeliner and depending, mascara. The eyeliner is always a cateye. He has a bunch more make up but he stays with the simple stuff because he feels that if you put too much you’re just ruining how you look, then he makes sure his nails are well-kept and manicured so if he’s not sleeping or working he will be tending to his nails

Zuo: He doesn’t care that much about how he looks? All he cares about is looking presentable and then going about his business. He doesn’t care for “looking the best” if anything he’d just want to look cool even if he doesn’t wear anything that’s flashy. Zuo does style his hair to hide his ears but sometimes they perk up from under his hair and it’s super cute

👓 Do they have any physical or mental disabilities?

Iza: I MEAN. He doesn’t have any physical disabilities but for mental-- like PTSD then yes lol. MMmh I guess hypersomnia because he is constantly and I mean cooonstantly sleeping even though it’s more like naps(like 16-24 hours at least) Anxiety and depression too.

Zuo: He doesn’t have any physical disabilities and for mental it’s almost the same as Iza’s except he doesn’t have hypersomnia. With what they both lived through, they would have these types of mental disorders but they ARE NOT diagnosed for it

🔫 What would they die for? Kill for?

Both of them would die to help their kin be free from servitude and they’d kill for it too. Iza already does kill for it, but Zuo tries not too. Though, unlike Iza, Zuo would kill and die for his significant other(whether it’s Iza or not), but Iza would kill for his significant other even if it means he kills them or someone else lmfao

🔮 Do they have any magical powers or abilities? If it’s a realistic world, what religion do they follow?

I think there has to be some magic because well, tbh the world is based around drrr and there’s supernatural creatures like faeries and demons so it wouldn’t surprise me if there was even a little bit of magic but, Iza and Zuo don’t have any magical powers or abilities. Iza isn’t exactly religious but the religion he follows is the religion of a cat god who was almost entirely erased from the world and sometimes when he refers to “God” he refers to her, but he does reference the christian God quite a bit and might have a bit of a god complex because he preaches for people to “Turn yourself into God and you won’t ever be killed.” Now ZUO WELL, I think he actually is religious but he is not a devote follower. I think he follows the same religion as Iza with the cat god but he isn’t a devote follower of Her, he prefers to keep religion and things like that to himself. Where Iza and Zuo differ between the religion is Iza says She is a vengeful and cruel god who wants to punish all who have hurt her children or kittens(As in her followers), while Zuo says she’s a benevolent God who wants to fix the things she had done wrong. Iza and Zuo don’t talk about religion to each other often because they could never agree.

🎤 Do they play any instruments?

Neither of them play instruments, unless you count singing as an instrument then Iza sings! Zuo would get frustrated with instruments but if he did play he would probably play drums

🎪 What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?

Iza: The ferris wheel so he can look down on all the people because he loves to feel superior and better than them :sob:

Zuo: A big crazy roller coaster because he would love to feel the wind and the rush of adrenaline

🍸 How do they act when they’re drunk?

Iza: He’s honestly? Really emotional when he’s drunk? Lol like, he really easy to influence too and just the littlest things would make him burst into tears like LOL oh god if he saw something really cute he’d just “Oooh~ MY GODS-- That’s the cutest..i--eeeeoh my gooooood” Like Iza please...dont cry because of a really cute looking puppy or kitten lol

Zuo: I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT FOR ZUO BUT I THINK HE WOULD BE THE CALM FUNNY CUDDLE TYPE OF DRUNK.

🍯 Which era of history would they most like to live in?

Iza: I think he’d want to live in like, oh gosh probably the future tbh?

Zuo: He’d want to live in the era with kings and queens because he was a royal knight and he misses his king :(

🍰 What’s their favorite food?

Iza: He loves horse meat? I don’t know why

Zuo: I think Fugu because he isn’t afraid to get poisoned by a fish

⏳ How do they feel about death?

Iza: Iza finds death to be a beautiful thing? I don’t think he really...idolizes it... because in his head its “You’re not really dying, you are being transformed into something else.” which like, okay Iza. I mean I GUESS. and he says that you don’t ever actually die, you get reincarnated as something else to learn a new lesson

Zuo: For real Zuo doesn’t like death, hates death, and wishes it never existed because he can remember his past lives and how he died and what he hates most about it is: coming back and having to figure everything out again and finding Iza/his soulmate and convince them that “We are destined to be together, please, believe me you don’t remember but I do.” and YEAH HE GETS REALLY SAD ABOUT IT

💐 Do they collect anything? What’s their most prized possession?

Iza: Iza collects plush toys because he feels comforted whenever he has one. His prized possession has to be his collar because he got that from his first master? And he’s had it ever since? He wears it literally all the time, partly because one he kinda misses his first? And second to deter people from taking him

Zuo: I don’t think Zuo has ever collected anything? Not from what I can recall but his most prized possession has to be the glasses he wears because he got that from his mom because she didn’t want him to be unable to see just how colorful the world actually is (they are both colorblind)

⚾ Do they play any sports?

Iza: He doesn’t play any sports? But I mean if you count hunting small animals and occasionally people as a sport then yeah he does LOL

Zuo: He plays whatever sport he can, though his favorites are soccer and football, mostly football for really obvious reasons

🌊 What one place do they really want to visit and why?

Iza: France! Because he wants to visit Paris since he heard it’s the city of love

Zuo: Germany! He wants to see the castles and try the food

🌵 What languages do they speak?

Iza: English, German, Japanese

Zuo: English, French, Japanese

🍒 What are some items they always carry? What weapon do they favor using if they exist in a world where weapons are necessary?

Iza: He always has his pocket knife, but he’s very reluctant on using it because he would rather talk with words than get physical and fight(Unless it’s Zuo then he will fight Zuo), wallet, needles because he can hit puncture points really well when he’s fighting/hunting

Zuo: This white envelope that holds his catnip cigarettes that he rolls himself, his sunglasses and wallet

🐝 What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?

Iza: He would fit in that…. Drifter or an Outsider clique? The one kid that goes around and comes off as a social butterfly but is just fine on their own and is also the one that ends up knowing literally everyone else's business while no one knows his.

Zuo: I think he would be a jock lmfao just, obvious reasons? To burn off steam and because he wants attention

💳 What one thing that they don’t need do they waste the most money on?

Iza: Oh gosh...he wastes money on a lot of things ...like he doesn’t need make-up but “Bitch I need my eye liner and blush.” and strawberry milk because “Shut up! I like it, I desire it, and I will have it.” and plush toys because “It makes me feel GOOD.” And designer knives because “I just think they are neat and I want it for my collection.” Like, someone stop him

Zuo: Hmm for Zuo? I don’t think he really spends his money-- but sometimes he’d impulsive buy weird things like slippers that look like bread? Or weird figurines lol it’s so hard to say accuse there’s a lot of weird things xD But if it looks interesting and funny he’d buy it, it dont even matter what it is

👠 What kind of shoes do they wear?

Iza: Iza has a lot of shoes he wears? Like he’ll wear heels(Like any type of heel) sometimes but most of the time I think he wears slip-ons, sneakers and slippers and if he’s dressed up he’d wear derby.

Zuo: He’s so easy and simply: Sneakers. Slip-ons, slippers  

👻 Do they believe in ghosts, aliens, and the occult in general?

For both of them, yes! I think Iza is kind of skeptical about it but Zuo insists aliens and ghosts are real. Iza is more into the occult than Zuo, like witchcraft and magic because he wants it to be real

💉 Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue?

Iza: Lust for his sin and oh god… for a heavenly virtue uhm…. Hope or Fortitude

Zuo: Wrath for his sin and for his heavenly virtue it’s Justice or Temperance

🃏 If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, what would it be?

Iza: Death because it represents major transformation and new beginnings, and transformation, passage, and change. Another one would be The Moon(symbolizes illusion and deception, and therefore often suggests a time when something is not as it appears to be. Perhaps a misunderstanding on your part, or a truth you cannot admit to yourself) and The Devil(symbolizes ambitions and is also synonymous with temptation, addiction, and depression)

Zuo: The World because it represents that things have come full circle, a journey has been completed, and a long-term project has come to an end. Another one for him would be The Sun(symbolizes positive energy, joy of living and enthusiasm) and The Hanged Man(symbolizes trial or meditation, selflessness, and sacrifice)

😊 What do they consider to be their best quality? What actually is their best quality?

Iza: He would say his best quality is his charm. His actual best quality is how tactful he can be, let alone romantic

Zuo: He would say his best quality is how brave he is. His actual best quality is how self-confident he is in himself

🙁 What do they consider to be their worst quality? What actually is their worst quality?

Iza: He would say his worst quality is how lazy/procrastinating he gets. His worst quality has to be how vainful and superficial he can actually be, let alone him using it to manipulate situations to get what he wants.

Zuo: He would say it’s his outbursts of anger, but actually his worst quality impulsive behavior because he just does it...he doesn’t think about it

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

i have so many theories!!! theyre all screaming at me!!! i must write out them all!!!!! 

so here’s one that’s been knocking around my head since finals week began:

the Writing 3 Playlist on Spotify 

I think this bad boy is a hint at the game’s timeline

maybe not 100% explanatory, but I think we can guess certain parts of the game through this

and i just wanna tell y’all now, almost all of this is speculation, as honestly im 90% sure the playlist was created bc it had borderlands-y songs in it (although the last few have me scratching my head)

lemme explain why im writing this, though I’m very thirsty for lore

tl;dr: game goes like this: lilith powers stolen. go to promethea, go to jungle, find brick mordy and tina, get into a fight, lose fight, go find other VHs, get into another fight, Krieg shows up to save Maya, maya die. (oh no she ded), the twins have their we are GODS moment, the VHs get summoned to the Eridian homeworld, there’s a huge ass final battle, someone attempts to create an end-of-the-world scenario

so the playlist itself was created to help one of the authors of the game get into their borderlands jam 

it starts with a Cage the Elephant song, “Trouble”, the band of which we all know wrote the first song used in BL1. Not really much else to say here, but we do know the opening cutscene of the game involves our current team of Vault Hunters being attacked by the Children of the Vault. this is, of course, not indicative of any songs used in bl3, but we can assume it captures the general feeling of the game.

Second song: “Fire” by Barns Courtney (holy shit I love this guy so fucking much!! if you’ve never listened to his music, PLEASE do so! I really recommend “Rather Die”- I am in the process of making a bl3 animatic to it actually lmao). 

So anyway, I’m just sayin’, the lyrics of this song...

“Oh, a thousand faces staring at me Thousand times I've fallen Thousand voices dead at my feet Now I'm gone... And my mother told me son let it be Sold my soul to the calling Sold my soul to a sweet melody Now I'm gone... Oh gimme that fire ...”

Honestly, I would not be surprised if this song was about Lilith’s loss of her powers. I mean, she used to call herself the Firehawk because she burned the shit outta bandits. c’monnn.

The man, the myth, the legend himself even says that "[The song is] quite defiant as well, like this cannot be how it ends, it cannot be my situation."

Mooooving on

“Majesty” by Apashe and Wasiu

holy fuck i love this song so much. and its so very obviously about the Calypso Twins- at the very least its Tyreen.

“All the stars and galaxies address me as your majesty So better say your majesty, I might react erratically Throw you in a fire, purify you I'm the sire, my empire's on the rise You better find yourself a place to hide Your place to find, but say it twice My name divine, I'm aimin' high Don't look in my face or eyes Take a bow and save your life Glory to the emperor, my temperature is risin' Always hot, it's getting violent”

I mean come on if its not when we meet the twins for the first time after they steal lily’s powers, then its definitely when they do something absolutely badass and really show us why they’re revered as gods. Possibly related to the Holy Broadcasting Center?

“The Way I Do” by Bishopp Briggs 

this one honestly had got me stumped as to its purpose, i lowkey kinda think its getting Sanctuary 3 up and running (and possibly meeting Maya for the first time- still not sure about that). I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a whole thing for Scooter and this song fits pretty well. I imagine we also meet Vaughn and the Children at some point, so maybe here?

“Greeting the Menace” by Zack Hemsey 

yeah i uhhhh dunno. This sounds like a song about a dude getting tortured which scares me a bit lmao. 

I thought maybe this song and the next 2 could be VH-based songs, as the next 2 have no lyrics whatsoever and the third is called “Best Friends”, but who knows... If this is the case I could make the argument this is about Zane or Moze, leaning towards Zane cuz he’s pretty covered up, plus I think “Best Friends” would be more Moze’s style lmao

I could also see this being a song about Troy... could explain all the ‘body mods’ and the missing arm.

“ProtoVision” by Kavinsky

If we’re going with the idea that these next few songs are about the Vault Hunters, then I imagine this would be Fl4k’s. It’s got that synth and some guitar which I think fits perfectly with his robo-hobo aesthetic lol

Other than that, I truly have no idea what part of the story this song could reference since there aren’t any lyrics. Maybe Promethea’s city? I could kinda see it, it sounds pretty high-tech

Similarly, “diatribe.” by Oliver Michael

the beginning gives me a whole meditation vibe which I kinda associate with Amara and her phasecast skill which “sends out an astral projection” of herself. 

Then again, this could be the outskirts of the Promethean city... I could see myself wandering around the huge ass foliage and discovering an abandoned research base to this song idk

“Best Friends” by grandson

aaahh i love grandson. I think this could be a Moze-based song. I just get that vibe from her leather jacket... anyway

I also could totally see this as discovering Brick, Mordecai, and Tina in the research base (if that truly is where they are). Cause we saw them in the trailer hanging out there. 

tbh the lyrics themselves kinda remind me of pre-Tales Rhys and Fiona and all their friends

“All of my best friends Like to go and get fucked up Then they talk about all the lives they never got to live Oh, they're still waiting for some sort of invitation It's never coming along, oh no, you'll get just what you give”

but idk if that’s what its meant for

“Bap U” by Party Favor

hmm another ‘lyricless’ song. not really lyric-less but uhhh the lyrics are pretty nonsensical lol

I could see there being a fight scene with Brick Tina and Mordy as AIs helping out here, maybe exploring the abandoned research base?

“Not Human” by elegant slims 

oh you know what im going to say here hahaha

monster troy p l e a s e

i wouldn’t be surprised if Tyreen started accumulating more powers here, like perhaps the previous fight scene was over the Vault on Promethea and the twins were able to access it before us? and Tyreen gives the Vault Monster the succ

“Crack in the seams You're breaking through The animal inside of you You're not human anymore... Your eyes go black electric blue The animal inside of you Life on a string Watch it swing Hide your teeth”

and one (or both) of the twins start going feral lol

“Way Down We Go” by KALEO

one (1) fear and that’s that someone dies during the scene that corresponds to this song

hopefully its just the boys being depressed over a loss instead of a victory, but oof

anyway, you know what they say: “sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big” ;) thats a typhon deleon quote

“I’m a Wanted Man” by Royal Deluxe

I want to believe these next few songs are us recruiting the rest of the Vault Hunters not seen yet

I kinda associate this one with Axton since his whole History with DAHL, but who knows! It could be Gaige, too. or Maya since she looks like she’s being incredibly gay criminal on the Maliwan Monastery planet. Maybe both Axton and Gaige? I would love that

“The Devil You Know” by X Ambassadors 

Could also be Axton! I lowkey think its Salvador or Timothy Lawrence. The reason I think its Timothy is cuz the whole song gives me huge Handsome Jack vibes, but it could also be Sal cuz I totally imagine him becoming a bounty hunter to fund his gun addiction lmao

“00000 Million” by Ella Vos

this one also gives off Maya vibes imo. I wouldn’t be surprised if this one is about her and the introduction of Little Blue. I could also see Athena and Janey here, just living their lives out in a cottage somewhere. awww

“Jungle” by Tash Sultana

Ahh a love song [pukes] Hopefully this one is about Athena and Janey, cuz there is a depressing lack of both of them in all the trailers we’ve seen! It sounds lowkey sad, though. I hope nothing happened to them D:

“Don’t Wait Up” by Dustbowl Revival

this one gives me very big Fiona and Sasha vibes. 

Of course, there’s also the fact that the song is about a dad, and we still don’t know who the heck “the Father” is on all those Calypsos posters. We also dunno who in the heck “Mother” is, either. Sounds like Father left the cult, though, oof, and Mother stuck around. Wonder what that’s all about, maybe he felt like the twins were working fast/efficient enough and left to do things himself? Very lost on this idea tbh. the song seems very out of place, but it has to connect to something, yknow?

“Dies Irae” by Apashe and Black Prez

For those of you who don’t speak fluent Latin (the fuck guys?? lmao jk), the title means "Day of Wrath". Nice, nice, nice. 

the lyrics, you might be asking:

“'Cause I'ma beast. Where you at? I've been unleashed. Whatchu doin'? Sink my teeth. Y'all can't fathom I'ma beast”

me: [vibrating in my seat] monster twins monster twins monster twins monster twins

at the very least this is definitely a fight scene here. Probably with the twins again (hopefully). Maybe they found some way to imbue the cultists with fucked up powers and are sending them against the VHs as giant demon things and as we fight through the temple (apparently with some Guardians) we realize the final one is Troy and/or Tyreen?

I like to imagine this is where Maya gets her powers stolen, if only because the next few songs... I think she’s around because she’s now the only person with Siren powers on the side of the Crimson Raiders, so they might need her help with the Vault in some way

“RAMPAGE” by GRAVEDGR

y’all wonder why I seemingly forgot about Krieg in the above songs? Well, this is why. 

The only lyric for this entire song is “Bitch, I'm on a rampage- mask on my damn face”

I mean come on, Krieg with his psycho mask on, the fact his action skill is literally called “Buzz Axe Rampage”, the fact he loves Maya as shown in his introductory trailer... it’d be so perfect. And I bet badass psycho Krieg would be the only thing able to beat back whatever’s attacking at the moment. I’m just imagining him smashing down a wall and going apeshit

“Black Out Days” by Phantograms

Another song I think is about Krieg and Maya. I don’t think Maya does too hot in this game, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she gets the Roland treatment if you know what I’m saying. I wonder if this causes Krieg to devolve back into insanity cause the whole song seems to focus around that. I hope not D:

“Hide the sun I will leave your face out of my mind You should save your eyes A thousand voices howling in my head Speak in tongues I don't even recognize your face Mirror on the wall Tell me all the ways to stay away”

To be honest I could also see it being that Maya gets her powers stolen and thoughtlock-ed by the twins to fight on their side (as she’s seen fighting with the big demon elemental things), and maybe we have to kill her or hurt her in some way to get her to stop attacking us. God I hope not.

Let’s hope this is someway about the twins and definitely not about our favorite Siren and/or Psycho

“The Finishing” by Stavroz

oof i think somebody dies... If its not Maya, my best guess is Krieg or Lilith. Maybe Mordecai or Brick? Oh I hope not, I love both of them way too much for it to be healthy. But, hey, at least Tina learned some coping mechanisms :(

“Intro” and “Apocalypse Please” by Muse

merged these into 1 because Intro is like 15 seconds long and is literally the introduction to Apocalypse Please. 

Definitely reaching the end of the game here... 

“And it's time we saw a miracle Come on, it's time for something biblical To pull us through And pull us through And this is the end This is the end Of the world Proclaim eternal victory Come on and change the cause of history And pull us through”

I think the twins (or whoever may have become the main villain- perhaps the Eridians?) have claimed victory/gotten the ultimate power in one way or another, and/or this is the Crimson Raiders getting themselves ready for a final stand-off with the big bad evil guy. 

I would really love if there’s a scene right at the end of this where the Twins have their huge “BOW TO ME” moment and then they just get COMPLETELY obliterated by a new villain. Just absolutely decimated.

New villain, like if they opened a Vault and whatever was being imprisoned there just wipes the floor with them (something like the Destroyer, if not the Destroyer itself), or fuck shit maybe even Tannis? or the Eridians looking for help in the war. or the Eridians bringing war. Who knows!

Again, could just be the Twins having gotten their hands on the end-game material, like realizing they can turn troy into big demon fuck (no i am not letting this one go) and we are kinda fucked now.

“Free Animal” by Foreign Air

I... have no idea lol

maybe Krieg getting rescued, maybe (one of?) the twins getting recruited by the Raiders for the final fight? It could fit into the ‘Beast’ imagery. Fuck, maybe even rescuing/finding Typhon or something? Idk, im kinda in the party that Typhon is going to be coming back some way or another lol, I’d love to meet the guy

“Dreams” by ZHU and Nero

This definitely sounds like a new BBEG has just been introduced or the big bads just entered the final phase of their plan, like the Crimson Raiders just learned about something life-changing and this is their “oh shit” moment

i wanna believe that the Eridians or another alien race (like the Seraphs!) are going to come in at the ‘end’ of the game and the Watcher is gonna be like “bitch did you really think I thought these dumbass ECHOnet streamers were the epitome of War??” I imagine we’d be on the side of the Eridians here, since y’know, the Watcher came to us for help.

Of course, the twins could still be the BBEG and have gotten their hands on that universe-destroying power that was described on the website (”to recover a map to ancient Vaults and prevent a universe-destroying power from falling into the wrong hands”) so maybe the Eridians called us in in order to meet and get help against the COV?

“Beyond the Fray” by Cassandra Violet

personally i think this one is about the Eridian homeworld

“I'll mark the day When we can meet beyond the fray Don't lose the will to see your home You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray I'll fight to see that you get home Consider this small clue Look beyond your point of view Make a space for honesty hide“

Wouldn’t even be surprised if someone made a sacrifice so we could get there... I imagine its hidden somewhere in the alternate dimension or wherever the Vaults lead to so it couldn’t be found, so maybe Lilith’s got her powers back at this point and she sacrifices herself to send us there?

idk...

“Outside the Realm” by Big Giant Circles

ah yes, another reason I think the end of the game involves the Eridian homeworld in some way. Have you heard this?? huge “we just stumbled upon a long-lost-alien-planet” vibe. I love it. Maybe even just a shot of Sanctuary III slowly gliding over the giant planet, having just exited phasewalk. God yes

“Battle Royale” by Apashe

another reason i think the final fight is some giant battlefield/wave fight instead of just against 1 or 2 enemies. not to mention the fact that the VH skills we’ve seen so far are crowd control based instead of raid boss focused. 

Its likely the VHs against the Cult of the Vault, but if we defeat the Twins halfway through the game, then the Cult will dissolve on its own. Either way, I really really really really really want a huge fight against an army. I don’t care if its against the Children of the Vault, the Eridians/some Guardians, or if its against the Seraphs or a new set of aliens we’re gonna get (maybe whatever the Destroyer was/is?). idk idc i just want a huge battle. I imagine we’re on the Eridians’ side, as I said above, but who knows, maybe the Watcher went rogue. 

oh and also, the next song:

“Doomsday” by NERO

oh hey, I recognize this song, it’s giving me major BL2 flashbacks lmao

Also the last song in the playlist, which is giving me the big fear (tm)

I imagine that we wouldn’t have been brought to the Eridian homeworld if it wasn’t kind of a huge deal, and what’s more of a huge deal than the end of the universe?!

that’s what i’d call doomsday, anyway.

could be the reason the Eridians are coming out of hiding after all this time. Either to stop our dumb human asses from opening the Vaults, or to get help against these alien fucks because our dumb human asses keep destroying their first line of defense- the Vault Monsters.

If the twins actually DO remain the main villains throughout the whole game, then I imagine this is them prepping to destroy the universe

but maaaan i really want some aliens... maybe the universe destroying power IS the aliens? aw hell yeah

[butwhyduh]

I'll Be Home for Christmas

Warning: it's long and sad.

Word count: 2150

Summary: basically what would happen if Tony Stark died instead of Peter Parker at the end of infinity war. Basically my one chance to write a space odyssey. For @naturallytom challenge. Part 1 of 2.

Peter sat in the cold chair overlooking space. Colors he couldn't describe flew by and he felt so lost. Nebula knew where they were. She could get them home. She got them to a inhabited galaxy and they were rescued by a people Peter couldn't even name. But the price of going to safety only days before they would have died was going farther from earth. Farther from his life. And no one to know he was alive.

"Kid, eat," Nebula said handing him a fruit. Peter nodded before taking a bite. He ate but had no hunger. Nebula assured him that it was from almost starving but Peter thought it was probably because he watched his mentor die in front of him.

"How long do you think it'll take to get to earth?" Peter asked.

"About a month," Nebula answered as she ate. Her knife sliced the fruit in her hand before eating.

"So Christmas," Peter said. He'd kept up with the dates. They were saved right around thanksgiving.

"What's Christmas?" Nebula asked. The pair talked about many things on the journey. It wasn't like they could do much else besides listen to Starlord's music.

"It's a holiday. Family gets together and gives each other gifts. There's food and lights. Its-it's nice," Peter said.

"That sounds... nice," Nebula struggled to say something nice. She wasn't used to being around someone as kind as Peter.

"I wish we could decorate in here. Or make some real food," Peter said wistfully. The ship felt colder than before and Peter pulled his boroughed clothing tight.

"Get some sleeps. Its been 22 hours since your last cycle," Nebula said looking at a monitor. Peter nodded and went to the back. He laid on a cot and strapped in to sleep. It wasn't long before he drifted off.

Nebula stared out. The people had been decimated by Thanos. His snap had killed half of them. She knew Peter was only holding on to get back to his aunt. What if she was dead? Would he lose his mind?

9 hours later Peter woke. Nebula was holding small swords in the middle of the room. Peter sat up quickly.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. I think you need a hobby," she said practice swinging the swords.

"Knives?"

"A useful hobby," Nebula said handing Peter a sword. "These aren't dull. You can cut yourself. So don't."

Peter held it awkwardly. Nebula rolled her eyes.

"Earthlings are so weak. Hold it like this," She said handing him the sword correctly. "Turn your body sideways. Smaller target."

Peter turned and opened his legs hips width apart, mimicking Nebula. She nodded. She put her hand behind her back and Peter copied. Nebula held the sword out with her elbow slight bent. Peter made the same motion to have the sword hit from his hands by Nebula. Peter gasped.

"Hold it tightly. You're strong," she said. Peter picked up the sword and moved back to stance. Nebula hit it again and he held it tightly. She hit him from another side and he barely smacked it away. This went on for a minute.

"Hit me," Nebula said. Peter widely swung the sword and Nebula easily blocked and tapped him with the flat side. The rest of the session consisted of Peter trying to deflect and hit as Nebula easily bounced around him. By the end he was smiling, sweaty, and bruised. It was the first time he'd smiled in a long time. Nebula hid her smile as she took a drink. Peter greedily gulped his water. When they landed on the planet, Peter had drank so much fresh water that he literally threw up, much to his embarrassment. On the ship that only recycled water and towards the end, it was only a cup a day.

"Eat," Nebula said tossing him a bar and a fruit.

"What's that?" Peter said looking the colorful fruit over.

"Food. Eat. It'll make you strong," Nebula said. She viewed his collar bone and wrists being more defined. His high metabolism had made him skinny.

Peter tentatively tried the fruit before devouring it. "It tastes like a fruit roll up! Do you have more?"

"You'll only get 1 a day to make it last," Nebula said. "Watch out. I'm going to sleep. Don't touch anything. Wake up if you see anything."

"Oh-Okay," Peter said moving to the seat.

"I counted the fruit," Nebula said before laying down. Peter snapped his fingers in defeat. She was clever.

Peter watched as he saw nothing. But also He saw everything as they sped along faster than he scientifically understood. Which is a lot to say about a genius. He stared for hours as Nebula slept. Peter's eyes got heavy and he drifted off.

Peter woke to Nebula gripping his shoulder. He jumped up.

"Fell asleep on the job? You didn't do that when you were starving. You can clean the toilet when we next land," Nebula said pushing Peter out of the chair.

"Aw man," Peter said.

"No sleeping next time," she shrugged.

And for the next 5 days they followed this pattern. Peter sleeping, training with the sword, eating, bothering Nebula, and watching out as she slept. Finally Nebula wakes Peter during his sleep time to tell him that they were landing on a safe planet.

Peter wiped the sleep from his eyes and grabbed his iron spider suit. He snapped it on over his clothing. Nebula seemed relaxed but Peter was nervous. Any place could be dangerous. The sky was blue and the visible dirt poking through the dense foliage was pink. When Nebula opened the door, a wave of heat hit Peter and he put his mask on.

"Guard the ship. Turn on the incinerator," Nebula said.

"Really?" Peter protested. "I can't leave?"

"We're here just to buy supplies. Don't do anything until I come back. I'll bring more fruit," she said. Peter groaned before sitting in the pilots chair.

Nebula rolled her eyes as she left. She didn't know why she kept the Stark boy. She could have left him on Titan, or planted him back on the first planet they landed. But she felt she owed him a ride back. She had helped Thanos for years towards his goal. And if she hadn't told Gamora where the soul stone was, Thanos would never know.

She met the people outside her ship. They were primitive small people that barely fit the shape of humanoid. They were purple-ish brown with snouts and arms that closer resembled flippers. Nebula held her communication device close to her face and announced her wish to trade. The people parted and a leader came forward. Nebula began offering what she had for trade and the leader agreed.

On the ship Peter sat with his feet on the console. Nebula never let him. He was also eating some kind of sweet bread. Music played in the background. It was under the name sTarLLord89. Whoever it was, had tons of 80s earth music.

Peter was softly bobbing his head when Nebula ran in with a crate of food. Peter quickly flopped his feet to the floor. "What's going on?"

"Not. A. Peaceful. Planet," she said smashing the buttons to fly the ship away. Peter hopped ftom the seat and sat in his usual chair. Nebula roughly lifted the ship off the ground.

"What happened?" Peter asked after they escaped the planet. The ship survived with only a few scratches from spears thrown at it.

"They were cannibals. That's why you couldn't leave the ship with me. You would have been eaten," Nebula said.

"Eaten?"

"Yeah, kid. Inventory the box," she said.

Peter opened the crate to see a few boxes of the food bars, some fruit, and bread. A bundle of rags sat underneath. Peter pulled them away and shrieked.

"What?? What?" Nebula asked from her seat.

"There a spider?"

"You don't know?"

"It's kinda like a spider. In a cage. It looks like a pet or something," Peter said keeping his distance.

"Wait, Spider-Man is scared of a spider?"

"Maybe. You can look at it yourself," He said pouting. Peter grabbed a fruit and sat down. "I'm not dying from space spiders. I've seen that movie."

"What?"

"It's an earth thing. I'll show you," Peter said watching the box suspiciously. Nebula walked over to the box and laughed. A deep belly laugh of joy. It was jarring to Peter. He had never heard that in the weeks they've known each other.

"It's just," she resolved into laughter. "It's harmless. Come here," Nebula said opening the cage. Peter jumped back as it scurried up her arm.

"What should we name it? I had one as a child. I snuck it aboard a ship, just like this," She said smiling.

"You stole it??" Peter said.

"No, this was luck. I'm not turning around to bring it back. Here, have a pet," Nebula said placing the creature on Peter's shoulder. Peter shrieked.

"Take it back! The fuck! No! No. No," he said as she took it back. "I don't want a mutant spider on me."

"That's just ironic," she said sitting back in her chair. She pet the monster under the chin and Peter shuttered as it purred. "I had one until Thanos found it and killed it. Said it was a waste of air."

"He's just a horrible person," Peter said used to her talks about the horrors that Thanos had done to her.

"And I'm going to rip his throat out," she said roughly before going back to petting the animal. "It's your sleep cycle."

"Don't let that beast go. I don't want it laying eggs in me," Peter said suspiciously.

"I'm going to name it," she announced. Peter laid down to sleep. It took him longer to go to sleep after knowing the little monster onboard.

Peter didn't sleep any better. He often had bad dreams. He had dreams about Mr Stark turning to dust. The way he smiled and told Peter that it would be okay before he dusted.

This dream was the last few days before they were rescued. When they had run out of food and water and the air was going turn off soon. Peter felt the cracks on his lips. His throat painful to swallow. Nebula had gone a few more days without food. She could survive longer hungry with all of her mechanical parts. She was worried about Peter. He was laying around now. His skin thin and body bony. Peter could see the worry on her face.

Her hands ghosted over his face. His core temperature was dropping. He couldn't thermo-regulate any more. His lips cracked. Peter watched her in a haze. Peter couldn't understand why he lasted shorter as super human. He was supposed to be strong.

"Why," he crooked. Nebula moved over to him. "Why am I dying?"

"We have no food, kid. I'm going to get us saved. Okay? We'll be fine. You'll eat till you pop soon enough," she said with a false smile. The past few weeks she'd grown pretty attached to the kid.

"But I'm a superhero," Peter said softly with a weak smile.

"Still a human. I think your metabolism is super too. You have to eat a lot. We ran out a little early," she admitted. She clenched her jaw before releasing another smile.

"Makes sense. Yeah. Sorry about that," Peter said.

"No. Its Thanos fault. He's the bad guy here. Don't forget that," She said. She turned away and went back to the front.

--------------------------------------------

Peter woke up panting. He looked at his hands before relaxing. They survived. He was on the way home. He was okay. Nebula looked over at him before turning back.

"This planet you can get out," she said. Her own way of comforting Peter.

"I can?"

"It should be fairly safe. We'll be there shortly."

Peter hopped up and looked out the window. They were above a large metropolitan. Gleaming sliver and bronze buildings we're buzzing with creatures of all kinds. Peter slipped on the iron spider suit with the mask on.

"Smart. Earthlings would get attention," Nebula said. She was kinda proud of her companion. She had started to regard him as almost like a little brother. Peter waited for Nebula to walk out first. She grabbed her little monster before leaving. Peter was nervous after the last cannibal world. 2 tall elegant light green persons met the pair. They welcomed them to the world. Nebula paid them units and they motioned for a crew to do a tune up on the ship.

"We're going to sleep here tonight," Nebula said smiling. Peter gulped nervously. Was he going to be wearing a mask overnight? That wasn't super great for his skin. Nebula walked away from the landing pad and into the city.

"So you know this city?" Peter said following her.

"Oh yeah. I ran away as a kid and lived in the streets for a few months before I was caught again," Nebula said smiling.

"I don't want to be rude," Peter said ducking around a street cart. "But you need serious therapy."

"A what?" She said stopping before a stall making food. It smelled wonderful.

"Nothing."

Nebula ordered for them both. When the food arrived she was on the move again. Peter looked at the foreign food in front of him as he hurried to catch up. Nebula ate as she walked. Peter followed her lead. The flavor was unique but not a pre-made squished bar. In front of a modest building, Nebula stopped. She pulled out her purse and walked inside. Peter followed as she ordered 2 beds at a hostel. Peter sighed. He was sleeping in a mask.

Nebula laid down in her bed. Peter could see the damn little monster snuggling her. It took him a second to realize that this was her sleep cycle. A few other beds had people sleeping. Peter sat on his bed bored.

"Here, don't get in trouble. And don't get drunk," Nebula told him handing Peter some units. "Stay in the market and don't get lost."

Peter smiled. "I won't."

Permanent tag list

@meg-holland @smexylemony @flashgunashton @calum-hoodwinked-me @laucontrerasv @courtneychicken @beeloverqueen @imahoformarvel @joyfullyje @jiminiecricketz @cassiopeia-barrow @caterina4304 @nefelimalfoy

[m0onbean]

friends to lovers!au mark lee

gif credit

i was inspired bc my sister recently confessed to her best friend and the way she did it was hella cute soo....

when you first entered high school you didn't know anybody since you just moved in town

nd it was rlly hard trying to adapt since you were a new kid + u were socially awkward 

on ur first day of school u sat down in ur seat in English nervous as hell bc there are so many... unfamiliar faces.... hELP

and next to u is your seat partner who is this guy who has brown hair and is wearing a pink sweater nd ur like .... ok u can do this u can make conversation with him

but then the teacher interrupts and ur like WeLP THERE GOES MY SOCIAL LIFE AND MY CHANCES OF MAKING FRIENDS :)))))))))))))))

ur teacher basically just talks about the syllabus and other boring stuff nd honestly his voice is so monotone that u just feel like napping

nd u notice that the guy next to you is also trying hella hard not to sleep and you smile to yourself at how his head cutely falls down as he's dozing off but then he immediately wakes up nd pretends like nothing happened

your teacher just keeps on talking and at one point he's like "i hope nobody's fallen asleep yet! :D" jokingly 

and under your breath you're like "... we're literally all about to pass out" 

you expect nobody to notice but then u hear the boy next to you let out a small laugh nd u look over and ohmygod he looks so cute whenever his face scrunches up from smiling!!

when the bell rings you're about to get up and the boy suddenly approaches u and is like "hi... i'm mark... i'm from canada" 

nd you just laugh and go "hi mark from canada i'm (y/n) from ___" nd then he gets rlly embarrassed bC WHY DID HE SAY THAT

but its ok bc u thought it was cute

nd from then on he introduces you to his friend group which is just filled with a bunch of crackheads honestly

u join their squad and for the next highschool years you basically become best friends with all of them

but mark... he becomes your #1 bff immediately

you're both awkward & dorky so when u two are laughing to eachother about some dog meme on Instagram haechan and jisung judge you two so hard 

you two like to go on adventures together in town like maybe riding bicycles to a park OR going into costume shops just to have fun trying on wigs 

during English the teacher probably hates you two bc instead of focusing on how to write an analytical essay u and mark are listening to music while playing endless rounds of tic tac toe

anyways the whole school year passes nd now u two are sophomores 

a lot of people gossip about u two and speculate when u two are gonna start dating but ????? you don't see mark that way and ur 2971301% sure he doesn't see you that way either

in fact u two like to make a lot of dating jokes and pretend to be a youthful, happy couple so y'all can get free things from cashiers who can't resist your adorableness

yet sometimes.... u wonder what it would be like to actually date him but u convince urself that a) mark doesn't like you THAT way and b) being best friends is just as good

jeno is your #2 best friend because he's actually the most normal one in your squad + he's actually rlly compassionate and reasonable like DAMN husband material

nd u tell jeno that u always wonder what it would be like... to have mark has ur boyfriend and he'd be like Well not much would change right? 

whenever ur away from mark u two are either facetiming or texting

whether it's just sending eachother funny memes or tagging eachother in videos of cute animals ... u never go a day without interacting

one day he suddenly doesn't reply to any of your texts or calls and you're ??? ok mayb he's just busy bc he does play basketball a lot with the boys

but then..... u start getting worried so u ask ur groupchat where he's been

you: has anyone seen mark? he's not responding to any of my messages

dream groupchat~

bitch #1 (renjun): why ???? r u worried about him ;)

bitch #2 (haechan): OOooOoOo bc u care about ur Boyfriend?!!

bitch #3 (jisung): omg i'm blushing u 2 are so cute uwu

you: omg shut up i hate you three

jeno<3: i heard he's at the hospital

nana<3: yea he injured his foot

dolphin: yah not to be a snitch BUT he told us not to tell you

you: wait what?!

you rush to the nearest hospital on ur bicycle and when you find mark just chilling on a hospital bed with a cast on his foot u almost pass out

nd he's rlly surprised at first but when he sees tears stream down ur face he immediately feels like the worst guy on Earth

he has to hug you nd tell you 194820 times that he's OK and that he's sorry for not telling u abt the injury

when u find out that some guy ran over his foot with a skateboard u immediately find the guy at school and almost kick him but the whole squad holds u back

at school chenle privately tells u that mark didn't want to tell u abt the injury bc he didn't want you to worry about him but ??? that's BS!! 

chenle tries to imply that mark cares about u in a Special way but u completely miss it

in fact, the rest of the dream squad always talks about u two behind your backs and are like "when tf r they gonna realize their feelings"

even tho haechan wants to just leave you guys in a room to talk about it the rational ones (aka Jeno & RenJun) are like "no just let them figure out on their own"

junior year starts!! and u feel...... different

everyone around you starts to date and you wish you could too

some ppl have asked u out before but u kindly rejected them all.... but why?? why don't u have feelings for them?? they're cute and probably ur ideal type yet u still don't want them

nd whenever all ur frieds are in relationships u feel left out 

Jaemin tells u that u don't need to date to "fit in" but you don't understand why u're not attracted to anyone

so imagine how ... lost ... you feel when mark starts dating someone

he's mentioned this girl a couple of times before and how she's pretty nd u would always agree and encourage him to make a move

but it's all too sudden and unexpected when he texts you about it

chat with mark-

morkypoo: (y/n) i'm dating her

you: who? that girl you mentioned a few times?

morkypoo: yea

morkypoo: you're not mad right?

you: no! i'm happy for you! why would i be mad

morkypoo: idk 

and you WERE happy for him!! but u kinda just relied on him to stay single forever with you so y'all can make fun of the other dream boys when they date 

besides that.... you sort of feel.... jealous?!

so ur on a phone call with jeno panicking and ranting abt how you're so confused!!!

and jeno just calmly listens and is like "okay let's see here... why would you be jealous?"

nd u would be like "because i want him to be my best friend and i don't want him to ditch me for someone else i guess!!!"

"any other reason??"

and you would think hard about it and suddenly

oh shit

you like mark.

in your panic you hang up on jeno and throw your phone somewhere 

and your heart.... aches. 

like there's this sharp pain around it and wow. This sucks.

the tall boy from Canada whose face scrunches up whenever he laughs, the boy who you share blankets with during movies, the boy who you have as your lockscreen is actually ... your first love...

so in order to forget your pain you try to deny it 

its normal for friends to sometimes feel attraction right??? it's okay for you to think about kissing your friend right???

without even realizing it, you start distancing yourself from mark in an attempt to figure out your feelings

mark is confused about why you stopped tagging him in Canada memes and why you always go to sleep earlier nd can't call him anymore

during school you two still talk a lot ofc but whenever mark's gf comes around to kiss or hug him you immediately turn around and leave 

the dream squad watches this happen for a month before they finally decide to deal with this shit themselves

haechan: ok squad our lovely couple is falling apart we need to save them

renjun: haechan we aren't going to lock them in a room!!

jeno: well (y/n) is sad about mark dating someone else

jisung: that idiot... why'd he have to date that girl

jaemin: idk bc we all know he doesn't really like her

chenle: ur right she's annoying af

haechan: i watched them talk before... the conversation was STALE

and as the boys try to figure out a plan, you lay on your bed contemplating everything with your heart feeling stuffy

junior year ends and summer starts 

but now, you're certain of your feelings

mark offers you to get ice cream at night and you agree

when you both arrive at the ice cream store you realize how much you loved just spending time with mark

and how you would die if your friendship fell apart bc of your stupid feelings

after you two are done, you say your goodnights and you enter your car with a clouded mind

and you sit in your car, not even budging, just thinking

before u know it, you grab your phone and you dial mark's number

he answers after the first ring and is like "(y/n) what's up?"

"i know this is really embarrassing and i'm probably going to regret saying this but... i think i like you. no. i like you, mark."

the line goes silent and you can tell he's shocked

after seconds you hear him go, ".... oh okay." nd you scramble to hang up the call, thinking you messed everything up

he sounded really surprised and you start beating yourself up over it

when you drive home, you get a text response from mark that says

morkypoo: i think i like you too

morkypoo: no, i like you. 

after your confession it seems like things are back to normal except now you cuddle closer to him and hold hands with him a LOT

your favorite thing is to surprise him with pecks to his cheeks bc it gets him so freaking embarrasing and flustered!! and now he's scrambling for words bc u literally made him forget what he was about to say

u two decide not to tell the dream squad abt your relationship until a few days

but ofc the plan goes wrong bc suddenly as u two are watching Netflix while sharing popcorn mark gets a call from haechan

nd mark is ? and answers it 

AND haechan is like "hey mark let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:00pm"

mark, suspiciously: u never go to the library...

haechan: uHHHHH i want to read books ok bye see you there!!!

then he just hangs up and mark is is hella confused and you're just staring at him with the same ? expression

not even a second later your phone starts ringing and guess who it is. yup, haechan.

haechan: let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:10 pm! oh yeah and don't tell mark!! ok bye!

after discussing it with mark, you 2 come to the agreement to just play along with whatever game haechan was pulling

and once you arrive at the library you're immediately pushed into a study room by haechan and he's like"TALK OUT YOUR FEELIINGS" then locks the door

hmm and guess who else is in that room? mark.

u 2 look at eachother then start laughing bC HAECHAN WAS TRYING TO set you guys together but y'all were one step ahead

to surprise haechan (who was trying to pretend like he wasn't spying on you two from the door's window), you kiss mark on the cheek 

the door bursts open and haechan is like ???WTF that fast???wow i'm good at this-

you: no we were already together

haechan:

haechan, pulling out his phone: i'm telling the squad that you two are fake friends for not telling us this earlier

[tumblunni]

Misc thoughts of rambling development for my new yokai watch ocs family of hugs and sadness (blythe the Dimmy and amber the Gorgeous Ambassador)

* Amber was totally still Gorgeous Ambassador at heart even back when he was human. I feel like he probably dressed very plain and was very self concious for a long time, as well as also being poor as dirt so it wasnt really easy to be super fashion time. Perhaps the only way he was really able to be remotely flambouyant or pretty was just having a long ponytail that he was very proud of. It would have been easier to maintain a shorter hairstyle when you're struggling to even find somethibg to eat each day let alone a bath, but it just helped him hold on to a tiny bit of confidence. Even when he reincarnated as Gorgeous Ambassador he was still unconfident for a long time and it took all these centuries to fully embrace The Power Of Gorgeous. He was probably really shocked when he got his medal registered and heard his new yokai name, like uhh excuse me "must beautiful man who spreads beauty through the world with his smile" are you sure there hasnt been a mixup??? And nowadays he's become so happy with himself that he maybe dresses a little bit gaudy sometimes, but if you saw how he used to feel then you'd absolutely be cheering for him!

* he was probably worried that Blythe wouldn't recognise him when he finally managed to reunite with them, but i think the lil shadow ghost instantly knew it was their brother and ran straight into the biggest hug ever. "Im worried they'll think im all cringe and gaudy" NO UR LIL SIB IS IN AWE OF YOUR FASHION POWER AND HAPPY FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE

* I also think Amber would absolutely be proud of how much confidence Blythe has gained through travelling with the protagonist and co. Like "aaa the last time i saw you you were so tiny and shy!" "Yes, now i'm tall and shy!" "NUUUU STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN"

* basically they are absolutely Shyness Fam, and Amber just approaches his anxieties differently with over-the-top fake boasting about his greatness instead of being honest about how bad he feels. So thats why itd be so heartwarming to see him genuinely making progress and genuinely seeing good parts of himself. ALL THANKS TO THE INTERNATIONAL GORGEOUSNESS ASSOCIATION OF THE AFTERLIFE, YES *cheesy makeover ads fly by in the background*

* Dimmy's fave food is rice balls not just cos ninja monster = rice balls, but cos for Blythe specifically it brings back happy memories of backstory ninja Amber in ye olden days packing lunches of love for his tiny friend. He was always broke in between finding bountys to hunt, so he was never able to cook anything too fancy, but those simple meals became associated with childhood in Blythe's heart. All the times this big strong human swordsman would have a moment of gentleness and offer his last bit of food to a useless little yokai like them. ("No!! You're a valued part of the team!! And growing children need this more than i do!! Besides, i'm so tough i don't need to eat." *stands up for a minute and blacks out*)

* Since this backstory took place before thee yokai watch was invented, you cant technically say Amber was Blythe's previous watchholder but like.. He totally was? Same formula of being a human you partner with and then go around fighting/befriending other yokai. I like to think that maybe before yokai medals became the latest trend and they set up the whole official regulated medal registration process, yokai would still give their human friends some sort of token of their friendship but it was just less organised. Like imbuing their soul energy into all sorts of shit like This Leaf I Found or One Shoe. Which could be used in the same way to summon them but obv was less conveinient, haha! I'm thinking maybe Blythe's bond object was just a neat rock, cos they were so young and didnt really own anything else to gift to this human. Like all they had was the coal from the hearth in the house they used to haunt, but thatd be too crumbly so they dug through to find the sturdiest and prettiest rock and Amber was like straigjt up crying from how touched this whole thing made him. I WILL TREASURE THIS PEBBLE MY TINY MONSTER CHILD...

* oh but just to rub salt in the wound i think he couldnt find it again when he woke up floating over his own burned corpse in the wreckage of his final fateful battle. There uhh..wasnt much of himself left, let alone anything he was holding. Itd kinda have to be that way cos if it worked like a yokai medal itd mean Amber could have instantly reunited with his friend and cut out all of these years of sad backstory, alas

* ok but imagine the cute and sweet emotionalness of then being able to swap medals when they see each other again, and have an actual magical guarantee of never losing their family ever again.

* I feel like Amber only initially agreed to join the Gorgeous Association because he wanted to get a job in the yokai world and save up to buy a decent house and decent level of income so that there would be a hapoy home waiting for his child whenever he finally found them. He didnt really believe that he had the potential to be a fashion icon, he just went along with it as an employment opportunity in his weird new ghost life. But OH NO, accidental self confidence!! (We are all very proud of him)

* oh and the Gorgeous Association doesnt work 100% identical to the anime version, i just like the anime's general concept. I feel like Gorgeous Ambassador is indeed a yokai species and not just a title, its less 'you were chosen by random lottery' and more 'you were chosen by destiny'...? Shy people who have potential to be fashion icons just tend to end up becoming the shy-people-with-potential-to-become-fashion-icons yokai, aka this. And the Gorgeous Association takes responsibility for finding all new Gorgeouses and training them to use their new powers instead of just staying in their shyness. Its more of a self help club? Oh and also the membership is full of other types of fashion yokai too, its not just Gorgeous Ambassadors. Just its only Gorgeous Ambassadors that get visited by the president as soon as they die and given a special invitation to join. So basically interpreting Gorgeous Ambassador as more 'this yokai is named that cos its powers are about encouraging people to be more confident aka introducing them to the world of fashion'. And less the idea that all Gorgeous Ambassadors used to be a different type of yokai and you can only become one by being picked by the club lottery. And also that its just a costume with no actual powers?? That was funny in the anime but i prefer if they actually could inspirit people and make them more confident and stuff.

* I FEEL LIKE IM EXPLAINING THIS BADLY, SORRY! Ok so uhh like yknow some clubs are all exclusive entry "you are not this thing til you join"? Like you cant be a country club member til you join the country club, and the sense of comeraderie there is just all being rich enough to pay for membership rather than having anything in common. But then there's stuff like lgbt groups or mental health support groups where youre all already the same thing and thats WHY you join the club. Anime version had Gorgeous Association be a country club and Gorgeous Ambassador be just a membership name rather than a real yokai form. Which, again, was really funny but i feel like it only works in a more gag focused series like the anime. Here i'm interpreting it that you can just be born in the species Gorgeous Ambassador, same as any other yokai like jibanyan or whatever, and it actually does have its own special powers and stuff. And its just that the Gorgeous Association sends out invites to any newborn yokai that have fashion related powers. So not all Gorgeous Ambassadors actually join the Gorgeous Association. Oh and Kageusuo is the actual yokai species name for those unaffiliated ones. The anime seemed to say that kageusuo was an unrelated new yokai that isnt in the games, that was just invented to have a form that Gorgeous Ambassador had before he became Gorgeous Ambassador. But i have Other Ideas

* i'll make it a new bullet point cos im getting all disorganized now aaaa

* ok so Kageusuo (or my fanmade eng dub name Shamshade) is Gorgeous Ambassador. Same thing. Same species. Kageusuo is a yokai personifying the idea of a fashionable beautiful person who never reached their potential in life due to social anxiety/bullying. Like an 'ugly duckling' story. Their default form is this shadowy looking depressed dude because their power is that they drain shadows from people, vampire style. This makes you 'less overshadowed", so you become more confident and people notice your unique style! But kageusuo cant use its powers on itself, so a lot of them stay in this shy form forever and just continue repeating the same overshadowed life they have as a human. The fabulous form that Gorgeous Ambassador has in the games is just simply the same yokai dressing differently- a kageusuo that managed to conquer its anxieties from its past life and take steps to embrace its true self! But theyre not actually any different in terms of powers, theyre still shadow vampires and their power to make people fabulous is just them eating your shadow. It was something they could already do before they became fabulous themself, now theyre just confident enough to match their powers, yknow? And also unrelatedly there's a club called Gorgeous Association that this particular kageusuo joined, which personally helped him in his journey of self confidence so he goes by the nickname Gorgeous Ambassador to advertise it. (Which is even more nicknamed into Amber cos he thinks it sounds cute)

* WHY ARE MY HEADCANONS SO OVERCOMPLICATED AAAaa

* anyway just imagine a vampire movie but its a supermodel lurching out of the shadows groaning "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR ANXIETY" and then when he bites you you become more confident. This is a Good Concept so i will somehow find a way to use it, dammit!! *b movie music* "OH NO THE MONSTER GOT TERRY" *terry suddenly wearing applebottom jeans*

* also imagine all of that but also the dude is a weird samurai being all "wow the wonders of the future" about thos applebottom jeans

* why do all my headcanons start as angst and end up as nonsense like this

[tyrantisterror]

Monster Trucks Was Good and I’m Kinda Pissed Off About It

So almost everything I’ve read about this movie has been astoundingly negative.  If you google its name, one of the first links you’ll get is an article titled “How did this Monster Trucks movie get made?”  The general consensus about this movie before it ever came out was that it was absolute trash that deserved to die forgotten and unloved - which is probably why it got shunted off to a January release date, on Friday the 13th no less!

Well, I just saw it.  I saw Monster Trucks and nobody stopped me.  And you know what?  It was good.

It’s not mind blowing.  It’s not high art.  It won’t make you rethink your worldview or ponder the nature of humanity.  But this is a solid movie.  It does everything it needs to, and it does so with a genuine personality.  It’s a simple, sweet little movie, and the fact that it’s been written off so matter-of-factly by almost everyone who’s heard of it kinda pisses me off.

The script is tight.  There’s no unnecessary padding, but it also isn’t rushed or nonsensical.  The actors are all good and likable - there’s not really a weak link in the cast.  The story is focused - there’s no meandering detours or plot cul de sacs that go nowhere.  Everything in the movie exists for a purpose and forwards the plot.  The monster - which, if you know me, is the most crucial part of this story for me - is absolutely wonderful.  He’s adorable in an unconventional way, oozes personality, and is genuinely endearing.

I’m sure you’re imagining the movie has a lot of crude humor and other cheap jokes, but it doesn’t.  There are, like, one or two juvenile gags, and they’re both fairly understated and, more importantly, pulled off very well.  The rest of the movie’s humor - and there’s a lot of it - naturally comes from the plot.

The movie balances humor and tension really well.  It knows how seriously to take its premise - that there need to be genuine stakes, but also levity because it’s a goofy story at heart.  It is exactly what it needs to be.

Yes, the plot is a fairly typical “kid finds weird supernatural animal and tries to help it out” story - I’m sure many reviewers had dismissed it as an E.T. ripoff, but that basic plot predates E.T. by centuries.  The medieval folktale “Maud and the Wyvern” has the same premise and is just a bit more tragic about it.  In my opinion, Monster Trucks is a valid retelling of that premise - and honestly I prefer it to E.T., both because Monster Trucks is good and because I think E.T. kinda sucks.

All I could think about while watching this movie is how huge it would have been when I was a kid.  If this came out in the 90′s, it would have been the highlight of the summer.  There’d be toys everywhere, and to this day 90′s kids would look back on it fondly.  It wouldn’t be life changing, but it’d be a treasured memory all the same - a fun little monster story that would still hold up decades later, something you could enjoy with your own kids when you grew up.

Instead, because it came out in an age where far more bloated, needlessly convoluted action-adventure movies come out every single week, Monster Trucks was tossed out like wet garbage to be ignored and derided.  And that just sucks man.  It just fucking sucks.

Worse, people write it off because it’s premise is unconventional.  Some might try to say it’s because the premise is silly, but we accept a lot of silly shit in our movies nowadays.  The biggest film franchise right now, and one that’s pretty beloved at that, centers on a Norse God, an angry green giant, a robot man, and a soldier who literally wears the American flag fighting aliens and spies with robot arms.  That’s pretty fucking silly too - but because it’s the conventional sort of silly, it can be considered good, while everyone hates on poor Monster Trucks.

Also, Monster Trucks has a very nuanced but prominent pro-environment/anti-big oil company message, which is timely and important in my opinion.

Monster Trucks is a fun, sweet little movie with laughs, fun characters, and a simple story told very, very well.  I won’t say that you’re a soulless shell of a human being if you don’t see it, but I will say that you’re a bad person who has a lot to answer for.  I saw it and nobody stopped me.  I know I can’t make you see it, but I am sad if you stop yourself from doing so.

don’t let Creech down you heartless fools