iicaru2

[iicaru2]

Ohhh mu goddd my boy 😭😭😭

Okay so recently my darling angel cat son Ollie has been giving me signals that I have LEARNED means his natural young predator instincts are kicking in and he’s inviting me to play-wrestle, and over the last couple days I’ve been figuring how to go about stimulating these instincts without encouraging spontaneous violence, yeah?

So I’ve slowly started communicating with the word “fight” to signal that it’s okay to proceed- once he KNOWS the word I’ll get him another talking button to prompt me back, but for now, I’m going with body language- when he gives me his usual bastard signals, I say “fight”, sit on the ground, and cover my hands and arms with a backwards coat or a blanket. Right now, I put my covered arms up, and he’s been taking that as invitation to “attack”.

But I want him to know an emergency stop, too, so I figured when he bites too hard or gets too rough, I’ll make a high squeaking “ow” sound like I have normally since getting him.

Just like… five minutes ago, I was sitting on the floor wrassling with him, and one of his claws got through a hole and scratched my arm.

It wasn’t very bad, but it WAS a good learning opportunity, so I made the “ow” noise and dropped my arms.

My boy. My sweet perfect son. He froze mid-bite, holding on a second, then let go, let me scoot away, paused a sec… then snagged a nearby kicky fish toy, picked it up with his teeth, and started shaking it around like he was an angry little bulldog.

My precious baby angel recognized the ‘playing too rough/unhappy/pain’ sound, stopped of his own accord, and then- recognizing I was hurt and withdrawing, but still wanting very badly to fight- redirected himself UNPROMPTED to one of his toys instead of attempting to re-engage when I wasn’t ready

I’m so stupid proud right now. I’m very careful about not mentally anthropomorphizing animal behaviour because it can go so wrong but like. Seeing evidence that little mans KNEW we were playing, KNEW I wanted to stop, WANTED to keep going, made the connection in his head of “playing attack with dad - Dad hurt - Dad doesn’t want play - Ollie want play - attack Fishie” is absolutely insane.

It’s one thing to know he has a process, but it’s a totally different thing to like… slowly, carefully learn to work out exactly how he communicates, and watch him clearly think things out in return.

My baby likes to fight. My boy doesn’t want to hurt me. My little guy has a concept of respect and boundaries and inappropriate behaviour, as broad and nebulous as it is, and he is capable of making choices with that information.

It’s absolutely blowing my mind. He is a cat. He is 17 months old.

And he is demonstrating- to the greatest capacity that one could feasibly expect from an animal, to the best of his ability- what one may reasonably describe as kindness, consideration, and selflessness.

😭 I’ve raised such a good little boyyyyyyyyyyy😭😭😭😭😭❤️😭😭😭😭😭❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💞🩷💗💞🩷💞💞💞💞💗💗💕🥹❤️

[iicaru2]

when the cool moot is like ??? Interacting with you ???? And holding conversations with you ???????? But they’re cool ????? ??? And you’re lame ??????

[iicaru2]

hey so like

hi, you. yeah im talking to you. You like my stuff from time to time and reblog once and a while, and I always recognize you in my notes. we’ve never talked, maybe you dont like to say much or you’re nervous or something. it’s okay, whatever it is. 

I see you. you mean a lot to me. sometimes when I’m having a hard day, I’ll notice your name once again in my notifs and it makes me smile. im not kidding.

I don’t care if you’re a “ghost” follower or you send me asks all the time. i see you and I love you so much, genuinely and truly. you are really important to me. 

thank you. thank you for being there. <3

[iicaru2]

sometimes you will spend 30 minutes thinking about a character and you will expect to have something coherent to say by the end of that time but the best you can come up with is "they are sooooooo shaped they are so silly i love my blorbo"

[iicaru2]

tagging a new mutual for the first time lowkey terrifying what if they hate me and spit on me and burn my house down

[iicaru2]

The argument of "trans men have privilege when they pass" is also so asinine because privilege isn't just "other men treating you nicer" it's getting unbiased and unrestricted medical attention, it's lower or no statistics of corrective sexual assault or impregnation, it's not having actual laws passed against your existence, it's not having to worry about passing in the first place, it's having historical figures retain their identity and not erased in some girl power misgendering bs, it's having your identity celebrated instead of treated like a loss of something pure.

If you think male privilege is just being treated like "one of the guys" in day to day life, you need to relearn a lot of things about privilege before you try to have these conversations.

[iicaru2]

youth has its fling, betty and veronica digest #20 (1987)

[iicaru2]

Randomly remembered childhood pet peeve: when adults would just decide that something you said as a joke or didn't mean as a serious thing was actually something else. And then won't let you tell them that it was a joke.

Like the fuck do you mean, "no it wasn't"? You don't get to decide what someone else's intentions were or what they meant with what they said. Oh fucking excuuuuse me that you decided that something lighthearted that I only meant as something silly and goofy to say was actually a mean-spirited snide remark about your rampant alcoholism. That I would somewhy decide to bring up randomly out of the blue to slam dunk the mood in the whole house into the ground just when everything was chill for once. Why the fuck would I even bring it up like that, I'm eight years old.

[iicaru2]

It really is wild that some politicians can stand there and say "yeah we're getting rid of a program that keeps quite literally millions of people alive specifically so we can cut taxes for people who are already richer than god" as if it's a normal political stance and not so cartoonishly evil I'm legit shocked perry the platypus doesn't break through the nearest wall the minute the words leave their mouth.

[iicaru2]

Wikipedia is lost to our friends across the waters.

[iicaru2]

being anti ai is making me feel like in going insane. "you asked for thoughts about your characters backstory and i put it into chat gpt for ideas". studies have proven its making people dumber. "i asked ai to generate this meal plan". its causing water shortages where its data centers are built. "ill generate some pictures for the dnd campaign". its spreading misinformation. "meta, generate an image of this guy doing something stupid". its trained off stolen images, writing, video, audio. "i was talking with my snapchat ai-" theres no way to verify what its doing with the information it collects. "youtube is impletmenting ai based age verification". my work has an entire graphics media department and has still put ai generated motivational posters up everywhere. ai playlists. ai facial verification. google ai microsoft ai meta ai snapchat ai. everyone treats it as a novelty. every treats it as a mandatory part of life. am i the only one who sees it? am i paranoid? am i going insane? jesus fucking christ. if i have to hear one more "well at least-" "but it does-" "but you can-" im about to lose it. i shouldnt have to jump through hoops to avoid the evil machine. have you no principles? no goddamn spine? am i the weird one here?

[iicaru2]

having a favorite oc is so embarrassing like hey guys heres a drawing of them. here’s another one. bet you can’t guess what the next drawing is about. here they are again. hey check out this scene i wrote about them. haha drew them again. you won’t believe who i just drew

[iicaru2]

If we were bugs, a lot of you would be bees. The kind of bees that keep bonking into the same person over and over again because you just can't wrap your head around the concept that this mammal is not a flower. Extremely confused about things I would have assumed would be obvious to someone whose entire survival depends on being able to correctly identify a flower, or at least tell a plant and mammal apart, but somehow it's apparently not that simple and somehow you still continue to survive.

[iicaru2]

If we were bugs, a lot of you would be bees. The kind of bees that keep bonking into the same person over and over again because you just can't wrap your head around the concept that this mammal is not a flower. Extremely confused about things I would have assumed would be obvious to someone whose entire survival depends on being able to correctly identify a flower, or at least tell a plant and mammal apart, but somehow it's apparently not that simple and somehow you still continue to survive.

[iicaru2]

1 Million Mandarin Chinese Works on AO3

AO3 now has more than 1 million 中文-普通话 國語 (Mandarin Chinese) works. Come celebrate with us and read more at: https://otw-news.org/bdhnn78d

English • 中文

[iicaru2]

PLEASE explain the broken hand incident

Hi. yes. pulls up my powerpoint presentation. vervain and emmrich are both so normal about each other. i have a couple posts about it here and here and here and also here but i haven’t like fully summarized it i think. ok so

there’s that one emmrich romance scene, not the lock but the “express interest” one, which is the first time emmrich actually flirts back at rook and it’s. 0-100 in 5 seconds. this catches vervain Very off-guard because 1) he’d kind of figured he would have to point blank say “we should have sex” to get anything to happen and 2) not only does emmrich make it clear that he wants to fuck, he also indicates that he actually likes vervain as a person and wants a real relationship with him. and it hits vervain like an eighteen wheeler that maybe he might want that too.

and vervain has. No idea what to do with that. his relationship history is a long list of guys who didn’t really care about him at all and were just there for the sex. actually liking each other was never a part of it. also that entire interaction got him extremely bricked up and he does not want emmrich to know that. so the moment manfred interrupts and he has a chance to escape he fucking books it and falls down the stairs a little bit but he’s fine. it’s fine.

he goes into his room and he’s high on adrenaline and hard as fuck and currently feeling a lot of emotions that he Does Not know how to even begin to handle, and he punches a wall really hard. and the wall is solid stone, so he breaks his hand badly and splits open his knuckles. however the pain does not give him any catharsis, and he’s still horny and confused and pissed off that he’s horny and confused.

so he obviously does the reasonable thing that anyone would do in this situation and takes his dick out and jacks off with his broken and bleeding hand.

it’s not good or pleasant. it hurts a lot. he’s a masochist so that’s kind of doing something for him but he also is making it worse by being really aggressive and fast and messy about it and slamming himself down dry on a toy he is not prepped to take. eventually he cums, but it turns out that doing all that is not a replacement for adressing or processing your feelings, and he still feels angry and like shit but at least he’s slightly less horny now. slightly.

he takes at least another hour to just kind of wallow in his misery and hope that avoiding his problems will succeed in making them go away this time, 99% of repressors give up seconds before they finally feel nothing, and after a while the adrenaline starts to wear off and he goes crawling to neve to ask if she can heal his hand. which she does to the best of her ability but she’s not happy about it. he sneaks out that night to go get it fixed properly in minrathous and no one else knows it ever happened

MEANWHILE. emmrich is also bricked up and conflicted about it. vervain running away the second he expressed that the attraction was mutual is not exactly ideal. he’s worried he fucked it somehow. but unfortunately he is Still Hard. he sends manfred off to go bother assan or something and then he also jacks it but he feels bad and guilty the whole time, he thinks he’s a bad person for jacking off about a guy who may or may not be receptive to his advances, but he thinks maybe this will get it out of his system and he’ll be normal afterwards. (he’s not) (it does not get out of his system) (the next time he sees vervain his mind is flooded with the memory of jacking off thinking about him and the things he was picturing while doing it and he immediately gets a boner and leaves to jack off badly again)

also they are both leaning against the shared wall between their rooms while badly jacking off about each other at the same time. which could mean nothing

[iicaru2]

echoes of the heart / 心魔