#and i feel awful abt that in particular bc i WANT to give it my full attention. i want to learn. this is important and interesting to me
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silverislander · 9 months ago
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i know logically in my brain that i have a disorder that makes it hard for me to focus and do work, the symptoms of which are not gonna go away bc other people need/want me to do stuff, and still like. i'm behind on a bunch of shit for school rn and i'm kind of spiralling over it bc WHY IS IT HARD. this is stuff i like doing and that i want to do. and i can't for the life of me fucking do it and the deadlines are coming up and i NEED TO FUCKING GRADUATE so it has to get done
#i have two assignments due for indigenous lit and i havent even read/watched the materials which is fucking shameful ngl#im so disconnected and behind in that class its not even funny. ive been skating by reading part of the books and doing shit last minute#and i feel awful abt that in particular bc i WANT to give it my full attention. i want to learn. this is important and interesting to me#im also a week behind on my essay which terrifies me ngl#im a week OUT from the next deadline and thats not getting met. which begs the question of when im going to be able to submit it#when i asked my prof for extra time he said he trusts me to 'work conscientiously' which. god. thats so kind but i dont do that#theres an assignment next week for book history that i dont have even started and dont understand#and i cant make myself do fucking anything at all i want to fucking cry#why cant my brain work normally please this one time#why cant literally anyone in a position of authority take me seriously that its a problem i am literally begging rn#im tired of being told that im smart so i can do it bc i literally cant anymore! its been getting worse for years!#i Am smart enough to do this but something else is wrong!! please!! im trying so hard and i know its not this difficult for everyone#im only taking 4 courses! i know people taking 5 who arent struggling as much as me w workloads!!#its gonna take me failing for anyone to care and i cannot fail at this point. im almost done#levi.txt#vent tw#and then i also feel bad bc i blame everything on my adhd#but also. it does fucking affect all aspects of my life#and i feel like i complain too much but that simultaneously nobody is getting how hard shit is for me/how im not ok#delete later#im not asking for attention rn im just yelling into the void dw abt it. ill probably feel better in an hour or two
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vveakfish · 1 year ago
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do you have any thoughts about the core four whose gender(s) are basically just a trans fruit cocktail that you would like to talk about? because I would love to listen
oh boy DO I !!!
I have So Many thoughts about them Anon, so thank you for giving me an excuse to try and put it into words beyond “Damn, these bitches trans! Good for them.”
Honestly, there are so many different ways to explore these characters genders based on how you choose to interpret their life experiences, and their aesthetic changes, and their relationships with each other. I am of the belief that any of them could be trans in any direction
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But, that said, I Do have particular gender headcanons for YJ that i am very fond of, so thats what I’ll be talking about today.
(Small disclaimer. I have not finished all of the comics referenced in this. I am using the information i have to inform these, but you know, i might come back to this post at some point in the future and look at it like “wow, i don’t agree with any of this anymore.” And i think thats okay.
I’m just here to have fun, and i thoroughly enjoy these little guys, and think abt them alot, so enjoy
(also if you dont want to read 4.1k words of blorbo gender analysis, or would like to avoid spoilers for Superboy (1993), Young Justice (1998) & (2019), and Red Robin (2009) in varying degrees of detail, or you just want to see what lables i assigned them, scroll down to the bottom <3))
lets get started.
Bart:
Bart's gender is the most complex, but his thought process about it is also the most simple. I think his view of gender would be very much influenced by the fact that he grew up in VR in the future like…
A body is just an avatar, do what ever the fuck you want with it.
That said, the lil guy has always given me transmasc vibes. These vibes, however, are by no means binary.
He understands that in the 21st century a lot of people do not have his sort of “throw things at the wall and see what sticks” approach to gender, so he’s okay with being put in the box of Boy™. But his gender is a lot more * hand waves vaguely *
Clothes don’t have gender in his eyes, they’re fabric you put on your body. Wear what ever you want forever!
Bart in skirts is something i have seen many people draw/talk about before, and its something i agree with wholeheartedly. He likes hair clips, and like, those loud (actually loud and visually loud) beaded bracelet type things that ravers wear. He like nail polish. He doesn’t grow facial hair, but he wouldn’t care if he did. He’s not on hormones, but he definitely considered it for the bit. “Gotta drink my boy juice” Kind of vibes.
For him gender has Nothing to do with performance, its all about comfort. About wearing what feels right, regardless of whether or not he’s adhering to expectations of masculinity.
Yes, he Will wear that god awful outfit out of the house, haters can die mad
Cassie:
Anon, I need you to understand how much i love early yj98 cass. She is everything to me — her process of coming to terms with herself, and being able to watch her start to feel at home in her own skin. It makes me absolutely feral.
lets see if i can explain why… succinctly
When we first meet her in yj98, her identity as “Wonder Girl” is this sort of amalgamation of What it Means To Be A Hero in her eyes. She has her party city blunt bob wig (Because Diana is who she looks up to), the gloves, leather jacket, goggles combo (that so clearly take inspiration from Kon).
At this point in her life Wonder Girl is not really her. Its very clearly a mask she’s putting on. which is what makes it the perfect avenue for her to explore gender expression without it having to actually be about her gender.
I think the part that specifically makes me feral though is her… we’ll call it admiration of Kon.
The girl is a self proclaimed Superboy stan + theres all the weird not-drama between Cassie and Cissie over wanting attention from Kon. (And i say Not Drama bc its like… Kon flirting with cissie (which like… have you met 90’s Kon?? he flirts with everything that moves) and Cassie being upset that he’s Not flirting with her. and cissie is just along for the ride. She’s not quite as much of a flirt as kon is, but she has her moments)
All of this to say i feel like its impossible to have a conversation about Cassie’s gender without also talking about her experiences with comphet and lesbianism.
At the beginning, Cassie sees Kon — this cocksure, conventionally attractive boy with powers that (at first glance) seem very similar to hers, and felt something about it. And, in the way of teen girls who have been told since grade school that they’re supposed to like boys, Cassie comes to the conclusion that what she feels for Kon must be romantic in nature, right?.
All of this, the jealousy over Kon and Cissie flirting, basing her costume off Superboy’s (intentionally or otherwise), the fact that she wont let her team see her without the wig and goggles at all for so much of yj98. To me it all reads as the tangled mix of undiscovered lesbianism and gender dysphoria that the poor girl simply doesn’t have the words to define yet.
So, then what IS cassie’s deal with gender???
i am so very glad you asked.
She, too, is a transmasc of the nonbinary variety.
I think her relationship to femininity is complex, and ever changing. She doesn’t feel comfortable performing femininity the way the world expects her to, but she is also part Amazon. And i think having a relationship with both Diana and Donna would greatly influence how she felt about femininity as a whole.
The Amazons are strong, their femininity isn’t about beauty, or being soft spoken — it isn’t about Men at all. On Themyscira, to be a Woman is about bravery, honor, skill, and in some ways, divinity. Getting closer with her Amazonian sisters would change her relationship to womanhood immensely.
But it still wouldn’t feel Right. She would be able to see that womanhood can be defined differently, but that wouldn’t change the connotations that womanhood had as she was growing up. She’d never be able to lean into it the way Diana or Donna do — they both grew up only having woman defined as strong and brave and confident. Their experiences are not analogous.
The baggage of growing up a girl under the patriarchy wouldn’t just… vanish because she sees that it Doesn’t have to be that way. In some ways, the knowledge that it didn’t have to be that way could make her dysphoria all that stronger (especially if she hasn’t quite deciphered that dysphoria is what she’s feeling).
but i think there would be a point where two things sharpen into focus for her.
fiirstly she has a big fat crush on cissie king-jones.
and second (which would only come AFTER realizing her feelings for cissie) is that what she feels for Kon is Not the same as what she feels for Ciss.
She didn’t want to be with Kon romantically, she just wanted his gender.
I could see her experimenting with wearing a binder, liking that she can get rid of her boobs if she isn’t feeling them that day.
She already has her short hair, and her leather jacket and jeans, and shes big and buff and strong (because she deserves to be butch!!! okay???).
I still think she would use she/her pronouns, but she wouldn’t be picky ab it (if she gets called sir while at the pizza place, she’s not going to correct them.)
But here’s the kicker — I think leaning hard into her masculinity would be EXACTLY what she needs in order to actually ENJOY expressing femininity again.
When putting on the mask that is ‘womanhood’ becomes something that she can Choose to do, rather than something that is being forced on her, it can be pleasant. Like playing dress up.
She has a new appreciation for it, especially since her friends respect her gender, and she knows at the end of the day, when she takes the makeup, the clothes, and the wig off, underneath it all she’s just her.
(Small addendum re: TT’03 Cassie’s fem phase. I have Many thoughts about this as well, and while they end up in roughly the same place, i exploring her experience with comphet and her decision to dress in a more traditionally feminine in that run is something id like to explore in another post (once i’ve actually read the run too.)
Cissie (bonus):
This one should be shorter than Cassies, mainly because my reasoning for it is much simpler.
YJ'98 (#11)
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She lists all these names, all of them feminine except for Fucking Ralph. “One weird phase” she calls it.
To me, Cissie is a transgirl through and through. She has this huge list of femme names she tried on while she tried to find the one that fit best. She mentions ralph in this off handed way, as if its not important, and i think thats just her way of dismissing her deadname as something of little consequence.
(that said, i think there’s lots of fun to be had with transmasc cissie, or tried transing-her-gender and realized it wasn’t for her Cissie. But as a transfemme, tgirl cissie is So important to me <3)
Kon:
other people on here have made posts about Kon’s gender that are much more coherent than this will be, but i’m putting the words down anyway. bear with me.
Kon’s experience with identity (especially in his earlier years) is almost entirely about the external rather than the internal.
Kon has his whole life planned out for him from the moment he opens his eyes. It’s simple really — become Superman.
So you have this freshly hatched teenage boy, saving the world as Superman (not the Only one, but definitely the coolest one (Kon would argue)). All eyes on him, all the time. In some ways, performance is inseparable from who he is. From the very beginning, everything he does is on display.
He starts his life with a Name (Superman), a life path (…again, Superman), and all the confidence of a sixteen year old jock with nothing but wins under his belt. then it all gets taken away.
Turns out Clark ISNT dead, and the world doesn’t need its pint sized superman anymore now that its got the real thing.
enter Superboy
Kon’s entire identity, his whole purpose for being alive, was to step into the shoes of a dead man who is no longer dead. So where does that leave our genetically engineered test tube baby?
lost, and extremely confused.
But he’s good at using his charisma as a shield, and even better at keeping himself busy. His problems aren’t there if he doesn’t have the time to think about them, right?
and i think that’s true about his gender as well.
Similar to Cassie, his discovery and exploration of his gender feels incredibly tied to his sexuality (to me). If you’ve read sb93, you know Kon’s deal with women. He is cute & conventionally attractive & he's like superman with a fashion sense, so of course there are people fawning over him.
And he loves the attention. He likes that people want him, or that they are looking at him. The issue is he doesn’t have the life experience to realize that their reasons for paying attention to him are often very shallow, manipulative, or selfish.
He isn’t treated as a person very often. He’s a brand, a product, a tool, a weapon. He’s arm candy, he’s a photo op, he’s a headline, he’s a paycheck. And it takes him a long time to be able to tell the difference between someone Liking Him & someone Using Him.
For the longest Time, Superboy is all he is. He doesn’t have a name outside of that identity (except for the various pet names the women in his life give him (kid & pup, mainly)).
And even when Clark does give him his real name, Kon-El, its still Attatched to his identity as Superboy.
I dont think that he would really even be able to start dissecting how HE feels about his identity until he’s much older.
Part of this would come from the space to be someone else that gaining a civilian identity would give him. As Superboy, the goal has always been to stand out, to be seen, to shine like the sun.
As Conner Kent, he has to blend in. He doesnt want to draw attention to himself, or the Kents, or Clark. He has to fit in, which was never something he had to do as Kon. And i think it would kind of chafe at him — but he wouldn’t really know why.
I think he’d chalk it up to how different of an experience it is. Not being loud, having to be normal™. And so i think he’d just… continue to play the part. For a while anyway.
And like, part of being Normalest Boy Conner Kent would also involve actively un-queer coding himself for the sake of fitting into the ecosystem of Smallville High. and its like…
Young Justice, as a friend group, is SOOO queerplatonic. The lines between romantic and platonic intimacy are so blurred, and Prior to Kon’s YJ days he he was also like… living with these woman who he had complicated relationships with that also blurred the lines between platonic, romantic, and sexual (…looking at you, Knockout).
So learning where the line is when it comes to how he can acceptably interact with his civilian friends (particularly the boys) would Really open his eyes to just how close he is with Bart and Tim, and how similar his feelings for them are to his feelings for… lets say, Simon Valentine.
But i dont think That is what would actually tip the scale. I think realizing that these feelings for his friends aren’t considered ‘normal’ would make him shove them down deeper. As ‘Conner’ anyway.
from here it could go two ways, right?
Either we get Teen Titans ‘03 t-shirt Kon, who sheds his GNC 90s swag in exchange for adhering closer to traditional (read; boring) masculine gender roles.
or we get a Kon who leans Harder into his punk roots, but its a conscious choice now.
(this isn’t even digging into how he would feel once Jon comes into the picture, because while Kon cares for that boy Deeply, his feelings abt the new kiddo in the family could also be very complicated. But that’s a post for another time.)
Personally i prefer the second one.
Kon has always been a curious kid, i love the way he makes pop culture references, and how he bases his behavior off of 90’s teen tropes that he Most Definitely learned from TV. In his early days this wasn’t done in a research way necessarily, but he Did want to learn what it was like to Be a Teen™, and TV was the easiest way to figure that out.
(and, playing in the space of Kon adaptations, his love of media/pop culture, and just over all thirst for knowledge, are present both in the Reign of the Supermen Movie, and in his iteration during the n52 (which is one of the few things i personally have internalized from reading n52 Superboy/Teen Titans)).
But post gay awakening, i feel liked he’d be interested not just in behaviors, but also the context of them. Digging into punk as a subculture rather than as an aesthetic. Learning about its connections to queerness, and community, and self expression. And i think this would be extremely freeing for him. (especially if this were around the time of Jon becoming Superboy v.3, but again, not the point of this post.)
this all culminates in Kon being like yk? gender just… isnt for me. Like, it takes im a long time to get to this point, but realizing that the path that was set out for him is just one of the potential paths he can take, and while he might not know where this new path will take him, its his, that that matters.
And also like, Because his friends are who they are, he’s seen different versions of queerness, and transness, but i think it would take him a bit to see himself as someone who Isn’t Cis bc like… he doesnt have dysphoria in the traditional sense.
He’s still the beefcake he’s always been, but i think he’d start playing with makeup when he realizes it makes him feel good (he shows up the the cave one day with smudgy eye liner and Cissie is immediately like a) you look so good and b) can i Please do your makeup? (and then she does it, and he looks so pretty, and he gets these weird giddy feelings that he doesn’t realize is gender euphoria until his friends start talking abt gender euphoria)
His uniform starts to get more personalized too, like the designs where he has knee patches, and all his little belts, and stuff. maybe he starts experimenting with showing skin. bc he deserves it
(’its for maximum sun exposure!!!’ is the what he tells clark… he’s not sure if clark bought it or not)
And hey, exploring gender presentation more as Superboy might help him do the same as Conner. Cassie will take him thrifting, he’ll try of a flowy skirt or a sun dress or something and then its Over. Gender euphoria part two, electric boogagloo.
In the end, its about realizing that adhering gender roles (and truthfully, any socially imposed ‘rule’ about self expression) is something he can simply Choose not to do. And i think this freedom would be something that benefits him in his civilian life as well.
His gender is: literally what ever, man.
Tim:
Ok, here’s the thing about Tim and gender, right? I think he’s kind of just comfortable as he is. He’s good at playing the roles he needs to in what ever situation hes thrown into. ‘Robin’ and ‘Tim Drake’ (and even ‘Tim Drake-Wayne’ if you want to split hairs) might be masks he wears, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less him. if that makes sense. like…
Lets look at the differences between Bruce (or Brucie) and Batman for a second. They really are different people. Batman is who bruce is at his core, ‘bruce’ is this sort of liminal space between the cowl and his public persona, and then theres Brucie™, and well, you know how he is. These are personas that Bruce puts on.
With Tim its like he just highlights different aspects of himself when a situation requires it. (oh no, the autistic!Tim head canons are being loud today.) But like, he’s Always been masking. And i think this is something he would look at as like… getting a good grade in adapting. or something. He’s comfortable, all the roles he plays are ones he’s familiar with, and he doesn’t really question who he is outside of who he needs to be.
That is, until Caroline Hill makes an appearance.
I feel that the decision to go undercover as a woman was a wholly practical decision in the moment. It’s what the mission required, and therefore tim stepped up. Its just another mask, right? Surely this wont awaken anything in him…right?
But this is an entirely new mask. And i think it might like… shift the way he looks at/thinks about the other masks he puts on. He was able to step into a role that was very foreign to him, and it Worked. (and he felt pretty, which like… woah, thats a new feeling. and he kinda liked it? file that under ‘thoughts he doesn’t have the bandwidth to process right now.’ Bruce needs him back at the cave! its time to debreif! and he has a biology test tmrw! no time for gender scaries!!!).
I think it would take a while for him to be able to admit it to himself though. Because like… hes Not uncomfortable with his body, but he also keeps thinking about how good he felt dressed up femininely, and how he felt powerful, in a way. That putting on that mask felt just as good as putting on his domino.
Personally, i think itd be funny if instead of coming out right away, Tim doing undercover missions essentially in drag becomes a recurring thing. And i imagine some people give him a hard time. (not in a transphobic way or anything, i just mean like, teasing him fondly or what ever.) (Also, i like to imagine that when cissie Did kons makeup, bart and Tim jumped in there too bc like hey why not, and hoooooo boy, if Tims egg hadn’t cracked before then, it sure would have cracked after.)
The thing about him is, i’m not sure if he’d come to the realization himself. You know, that he would like to present femme sometimes, in a situation that has Nothing to do with a mission.
I could see Tim convincing himself that its a pointless or frivolous desire, which is Why he relegates his time presenting femme to when he can prove that it’s useful.
but i have this image in my mind, right? Of him, taking his makeup and wig off, and hes chatting with whoever is in the room with him (literally anyone else mentioned above… or Dick). And Tim’s just talking about how he wishes he could present this way in situations other than missions.
and the other person in the room is just like… i mean, you literally can.
and hes just like…. shit you’re right. i Can :0
I could probably go further into depth abt this, but i think this just frees him to start playing with gender more as Tim. and start to recognize when he’s feeling more masculine, more feminine, or somewhere in between.
His gender isn’t consistent, its this thing he’s constantly listening to, and trying to understand. but in the mean time, he can paint his face, and wear pretty clothes, or dress like just Some Guy, or be a hedgehog dressed in traffic light colors, or what ever his heart desires.
As far as like… how He describes his gender, i think he’d say something corny like bi^2 (bi of both the sexual and the gendered varieties). Or shrug, handwave, generally give a non-helpful vague description. Or tell who evers asking to buzz off.
(small addendum wrt Kon and Cassie in TT’03. I haven’t read this run yet, so i didn’t really include it in this post. But i Do have thoughts about what might cause the two of them (my gnc besties from my comics books) to lean sooooo hard into traditional gender roles after being So Queercoded in their other appearences. Before i talk abt that though, i want to read the comic. So, that will have to be a post for another time)
ANYWAY, heres that TL;DR i promised.
Bart: NB Transmasc Cassie: NB Lesbian (of the transmasc variety) Kon: Agender Tim: Fluid (bi-gender) + Cissie: Transgirl
Thank you soooooo much for giving me the opporrtunity to ramble abt the silles and how Not Cis i think they are. Love you forever.
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wereoz · 4 months ago
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@cnka i wanted to reply to ur question abt my thoughts on the tsn doc on my actual post but the tags were so insanely long i was like. i need to make an actual post
SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
first off, wow im just so astounded by the fervent love that went into making tsn. it was a risk and so unlike other projects fincher and anyone else there had done but w/ their commitment to it it turned out SO amazingly. the fact they sat around a table and argued for hours abt how the lines fit and everyone could make their case is just. WOW!!!! they really made sure everyone understood and loved playing their characters.
erica's and christies actresses werent very common appearances like mark but they really went all in too im in AWE!! NOT TO MENTION MARYLINS WOW!! rooney mara really just. god she went so hard into making sure all of ericas kindness and leniency and frustration were so clear, she was so focused in the behind the scenes footage and obviously having so much fun <33 i love that brenda song was able to relate to christie's jealousy and fear eduardo was cheating. the fact all the actors ARE the characters ages and are as chaotic and fierce and dedicated and ambitious makes it soooo<3333 rashida jones describing marilyn as a greek chorus just watching hit SO hard. the second hand experience of this young man going through this epic tale by just hearing it thru testimony is a crazy thing. the act of listening is so simple but becomes so emotional even as everyone wants to keep it professional
on the twins: i find it so wonderful that the actors armie and josh played both twins. it just WORKS bc twins take the 'know u better than u do' that siblings have and take it to absolutely insane levels. the fact these actors have literally got access to both the twins minds takes the performance to a whole new level like those twins know each other inside and out!!!! its a meta thing that goes truly crazy.
you have already seen me say the bts of the erica and mark breakup truly kills me bc. he is being an asshole and not listening and the fact he doesn’t mean to doesn’t change that he is. she has to leave, but it’s so sad that she does bc… fincher calling him 'damaged goods' implies a universe where whatever makes him like this isnt present. where maybe he’s fine. so. GOD :’(( (i think it’s autism + the bad life experiences that come from that & being queer + the bad life experiences that come from that, heightened by the era)
on a more positive note i love that on set picking out the accessories andrew says ‘i’ when hes speaking as eduardo. he’s really dedicated to the role its great. also that he and jesse had conversations in character like these 20 year olds r crazy truly. love them for that !!
during the whole thing, everyone is so suspicious, and condemning to mark: like, noting that he is driven by ego, jesse jokes mark is okay with the cold because he doesn’t feel anything, and also, there’s a part when sorkin, fincher, andrew, and jesse are sitting around and talking about the scene where mark & eduardo argue abt ads. essentially, they make the argument that mark always says ‘i’ when eduardo says ‘we’ because in his mind, eduardo hasn’t contributed much at all. while mark is up coding for hours straight, eduardo is at some phoenix thing so? what gives?
so i was reframing my understanding of mark (which. is very indulgent cus i love him), and trying to get as close to his brain as i could and i was coming up with him generally being pretty… hard on the outside for lack of a better word. he’s not traditionally intimidating (like the script states) but its hard to crack him and you can really see this with jesse’s physicality like he’s so stiff. that’s pretty innocuous but i think this is something he uses to put distance between him and his loved ones- very frustrating. and i think every time i realise how much mark is an asshole i remember so many reasons why they added *trying to be.
when fincher called him damaged goods it’s like. the most in the doc people give him the benefit of the doubt (also sorkin saying he wanted to balance out all of mark’s character). which is pretty good because marks good traits are supposed to be very subtle and hit you when you don’t expect it. that’s very much how i felt when i suddenly remembered ‘sorry. that was mean.’ he truly is just trying to be an asshole. he wants to be nicer than he is but he also wants more power than he does and as someone who felt pretty powerless the rest of his life, that trumps the rest. he really thinks he can have both experiences, power and love, and he just hates that every time he takes a step in one direction it cancels out the other. this actually really fits in well w/ my next point
i also want to say that the fact mark videoing everyone was explained as him wanting to force proof that everything is fine, and they’re happy is making me so :(( MARK!!!! :(( he is so. i mean its two things: its the ‘i won, but did i?’ of it all. mark won the argument but its a hollow victory, being some sillicon valley titan isn’t emotionally fulfilling, it will never be enough. especially not when its costing him a good friend. the way the end is laced throughout the entire movie is so sick to me
re marks bullshit i also love how they mentioned that marks jealousy about the final clubs is more than just wanting to be in eduardo’s position its like - i thought we had some loser solidarity and now its like you’re a whole different person. its less of a horrible feeling when ur at the bottom with someone and mark feels betrayed. ofc mark doesn’t feel safe to express this emotion (bc bullied nerd boy whos probs bi in the 2000s), or doesn’t know that’s what he’s feeling, and decides it’s eduardo’s fault and freezes him out for it.
this is just off the top of my head i certainly have more and will probably talk more abt this lovely doc again :^))
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kae-karo · 2 years ago
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for the ask game: 27 for kaeya and the huge bread, and then 37, 41, 42 and 49 if you'd like :D
AWE hi hello tyty so much anon !!!! for context (x)
27. How long did it take to write Kaeya and the Huge Bread? Describe the process.
hooooooooooo boy okay so according to gdocs, i started writing it in mid february lmao. and i'm not entirely sure what day exactly i finished, but i did start posting it on childe's bday (july 20), and my usual process is to take a week or two prior to posting a chaptered fic to edit it, so...give or take 4.5-5mo or so to write?
tbh when i run headfirst into longfics like that, i rarely have much of a process lmao. i really don't outline anything, but i'll have usually a few key points i want to hit on throughout the story, or a few scenes/dialogue bits that i'm particularly excited to write, and then i really just work my way from one bit to the next lmao. i really have to write linearly, which sort of helps me make progress cause if i only wrote the stuff i was super excited for, i wouldn't bother to fill in the blanks or figure out any of the other cool stuff that i usually discover along the way
for example, the fact that the irodori festival was going to be a big part of the story/a big part of kaeya's reveal wasn't something i even really uncovered til halfway through writing the story lmao AND actually it didn't even occur to me til long after i conceived the idea for certain plot points that the reason kaeya struggled with not wanting childe to hold him to too-high romantic standards was not only bc he didn't feel like his writing reflected himself as a romantic partner but also cause he's aromantic!
this one was also fun cause i have all these commercial breaks, which started as an excuse to write zhongluc but quickly evolved into an excuse to write some other ships that i otherwise would have no reason or groundwork to write outside the context of this au, but those often got written actually After i worked on most of the main fic (my brain didn't demand linear writing since each one was sort of a Separate story) and also cause the main fic didn't get divided properly into chapters til basically i was done lmao
i also had a snag at one point during that writing period where i deadass wrote a whole scene, then immediately realized i was cramming too much into one single situation, and i actually ended up having to go back and rewrite the whole thing as two distinct scenes lmaoooo
37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?
i adore this question and i have to limit the number of times i plug my first chaeya fic lmao so instead i will mention a kaeluc fic that got a surprisingly small amount of traction for the fact that it's klk?
our names were meant to have arrows drawn through (x) is a fun lil spring break fic where klk meet as strangers and - in a wildly impulsive move on diluc's part - spend the night together
41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”
am i a simp for my wife? yes. but she's basically nonexistent on tumblr now so i can do that >:} seriously tho, there's just something poetic about the way she writes, and the first time i read smth of hers i was just. enamored with her writing style? i'm not entirely sure i had a 'this is what i want my writing to look like' vibe exactly (and i'm not sure i've had that really with any fic, per se - i like the way i write! and i know it's influenced by what i read as well, but it's rarely a conscious decision to point my writing in a particular direction)
anyway, that said, sometimes i feel inspired to write a little more poetically and i think it has to do with how lovely her writing sounds to me. she doesn't write for genshin, but if any of u bktdbks follow me, be sure to check out her fics - analog love (x) is a sweet one abt oranges
42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
ohhhh this is both simultaneously a hard question to answer and a very easy one. the hard answer is: i have the memory of goldfish with amnesia and even the comments i've received that i know have been particularly meaningful to me or particularly poignant have slipped my mind
the easy answer is that, although i can't recall specific examples of exact comments, i do know the things in comments that i've received that genuinely mean the world to me. comments about my stories being immersive or that the reader couldn't put it down, comments about rereading, comments that pick out tropes or ideas or specific things that transcend some of my stories that the reader appreciates, comments that quote favorite lines (especially if, by coincidence, they quote some of my favorite lines from a story). comments that say i got someone into a ship !!!! comments that mention that my story got them through a rough time. comments from serial commenters whose names i recognize from my other fics
idk if this is conceited or smth but some day i would really just love to go print out like. all the comments i've gotten and paste them on big posterboards or smth to hang on my walls. i do not have the wall space for that but perhaps some day i will lmao cause like. idk sometimes my brain just forgets that like. this is from a whole entire real person !!!! who read my words !!! and LIKED THEM and wanted to let me know !!!!! like !!!! holy shit bro !!!!!
49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
LMAO what am i currently not working on? i keep saying i'll get back to my prince kaeya x many fic some day soon, but ideas keep cropping up and bopping me in the head lmao. perhaps once things slow down a bit for me, i'll have time and energy to swing back to it
currently i'm working on something as a request which i'm not quite ready to share bits of yet (still early stages atm as i am irritatingly busy rn and haven't been able to really get a flow going just yet)
i am also probably going to try to bash out another lil fic of the chiluc variety cause i got a bit of brainrot lmao assuming i have any time!!
so, alas, nothing really to share from a wip perspective atm, but i do still have quite the backlog of completed oneshots (i believe we still have some zhongchi, klk, chaeya, chennett, xiaoven, a surprise that i can't talk about for Reasons, plus some bktdbk and shinbaku on the bnha side)
[send me writing asks from this list!]
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pepprs · 3 years ago
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i literally wish i had exams. exams you can study for and bullshit in your short term memory and it doesn’t matter how much effort you put into it and it’s just over at the end and yeah sometimes there are trick questions or freewrites and it would never be in a subject i a good in but like…. I just can’t write anymore fucking papers i just can’t. i am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so tired
#purrs#what if… get this… i ran away under cover of darkness and started a new life and my professors failed me but it didn’t matter because i was#free as a bird. or… hypothetically… i find the nearest land mine and step on it (sorry) (i know) (yes) (yeah) (i know) (i know) (sorry)#wish i could like….. erm hrm hehehm… not to say this but i wish i could you know but like only for one aspect of my life because literally#everything else is so good or has the potential to be it’s just the thought of waking up tomorrow and having to write essays makes me w want#to *** ** *** and *********. very good fucking thing im seeing my counselor tomorrow but idk how much that’ll help bc i still have to do#finals. idk if i can live w getting bad grades but i also need to give up right now LOL (im not actually going to like …………. i just am#feeling very do not want to be alive in this particular part of my life for one miserable millisecond longer. my head feels like it’s#swollen 3x the size and full of broken glass stabbing into it#suicide tw#sorry. like i don’t actually mean it i am fine but i also am not fine but im fine in certain ways and also yeah this is kinda new for me but#also kinda not and idk what to do but i actually am fine i mean it i am just sitting calmly and i need to order groceries and tmrrw im gonna#buy sushi and eat polenta and bagels and dates i think. i have so much to live for and i love being alive but this shit makes me spiral or n#not even spiral but like SINK or cave in or whatever sooooooooo bad. so so bad. and i can’t do anything but push thru it and im not strong e#enough and it’s SO stupid and entitled but the fact that if i had just sucked it up and graduated when i was supposed to i would’ve graduate#d with highest honors and now im mentally very very bad and have had a lot of phhysical setbacks and grades don’t mean anything and won’t#mean anything but now idk if im gonna graduate with any honors and i didn’t go in wanting that or tryi for it but the pressure to maintain#it is unbearable and i just can’t do it anymore <- dumbest reason on the planet to feel ***** ****** but here i am. and ive never told a the#therapist abt feeling this way sometimes idk what Megan is gonna do but im scared lol but it’s fine. like ok genuinely i need to shut up but#i actually am fine i feel mentally awful but the only physical thing im gonna do abt it is stay up late except im posting this and then#going to bed. im ok like actually. and at this time next week i’ll be thru it one way or another and i’ll sit in my clean room and write in#my new journal or paint something or make music and it will be the best thing in the world i just wish i could skip this week and go there#delete later#food#ask to tag#long post tw#also i think i might be getting another ear infection bc it hurts on the inside and i forgot to buy my mask headband bc of this stupid shit
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osanna · 4 years ago
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pls read the tags ty.
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baeshijima · 4 years ago
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧
A/N : i have nothing to say other than the fact there will be an excessive amount of twitch slang bc why tf not + just,,, heavy streamer!albedo brainrot ;-;
masterlist
AIGHT
streamer albedo
pog—
so before we get into him being whipped for u, let’s go over the type of strimmer mr Kreideprinz is
fun fact that’s his twitch name—
albedo would be the type to do lots of variety streams of different games, but also the occasional art one if he wants to have a chill stream with his chat !!
speaking of chat… they’re an odd mix of wholesome supporters, KAPPA + POGGERS + catJAM (bc he always has some bangers on in the bg like yes u bless our ears my guy) + KEKW + EZ Clap + his own emotes spammers, mr albedo’s very own shrimps (me, ahEm—), and ppl who just appreciate his voice + gameplay
if there’s a troll he just bans them OMEGALUL
omg he has lots of emotes (which he made in some of his art streams so his viewers could choose some) for every scenario but we’ll get into the popular ones in a bit 👁👁
he’s most definitely one of the bigger, well-known streamers but with a smaller group of friends
his discord server has,,, a lot of ppl,,, 70k+ ppl big,,, rip notifs if ur in it ;-;
he has it muted tho 🐥 like, sir, that’s ur server pay the goddamn price smh
wait i forgot to mention this but he has his webcam on when streaming
so u can bet ur chickens that when ppl come to visit his stream bc of whatever category he has on, they stay for his visuals and voice <33
his twt 🤡 mans gets 1k+ likes, rts, comments within the first 5-10 mins
omg he gets soft when he receives sm support from his community 🥺🥺
gifts so many subs when hitting milestones, chat is wholesome or just whenever really HJKSDHKL 
also doesn’t swear much unless he gets played by his own game and/or someone is being incredibly annoying <//3
he also just,,, eats on stream
albedo straight up takes his webcam with him to show him cooking if his viewers ask for it
or he just orders food then and there and eats while chatting to everyone or watching youtube with his chat 🥺
nOW ONTO HIM BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER
this AR55 man 👩‍🦯
he can literally produce content from anything
from artifact farming, to spiral abyss, to running around mindlessly, to building characters he would normally never build, to him seeing how high up is considered too high to dive
and everyone eats it up bc it’s albedo <3
also !! he’s the type who includes the story quests in his streams so his reaction and thoughts on everything is just,,, there
now when u were first introduced in the prologue (yes ur one of the ogs + involved in the dvalin fight <33) he blanked and all his viewers could see was u on screen with him staring blankly in the bottom right of the screen
this man straight up saw u in a cutscene for one second and fell in love
his chat went wild omfg
he immediately made an emote for u and that’s his most popular one 😌
but i kid u not, the moment u appeared in that cutscene (one in which he will forever treasure in the crevices of his heart) was the moment he asked this exact question ;
“ so (y/n) banner when? ” 
and mihoyo heard his pleas and answered with ur event banner 
except it was like,, 4 months later 
at least ur finally here tho :’)
now he can have his lil science-y moments with ur voicelines ;-;
yes, ur the chief alchemist but ✨ 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 ✨
. . .
shut up
n e who
when he saw the notification from mihoyo’s official forums that u will be a playable character in the new update — along with new characters, region, events & a domain — i shit u not he did a rt, his own tweet, an announcement on the community feature on youtube, and made constant reminders to his viewers on twitch abt how he will be a (y/n) haver no matter what
he even added future (y/n) haver in his twt display name
what a shrimp—
the 1.2 update stream 🐥 he was there waiting for it to go live with like,,, 19k viewers spamming his chat abt predictions and obv ur official release + showcase
and when i say this man fell even more in love while watching ur trailer and character showcase 🥺 he wouldn’t stop smiling or being in awe bc ur just??? so stunning???
mihoyo clearly has a favourite child and it’s u
chat was spamming ur exclusive emote like crazy oml
u can bet it was also flooded with lots of POGs and POGGERS 
overall it was a very fun, chaotic stream filled with lots of (y/n) appreciation and love <33
also a very memorable stream for all his viewers bc of the side of albedo they rarely see unless ur involved
the day ur banner was to go live tho 🐥
the streams leading up to the fateful day consisted of him farming ur mats 
that’s it
boss runs, local specialties, hero wits, talent books, the mats needed for ur weapon he was inevitably going to pull for (only the best for the best, afterall) and many domain runs
many painful domain runs
all of it was worth it tho bc ur worth everything :’)
an actual quote said by him—
at least he can get u and ur weapon to lvl 90 right off the bat with all the artifacts tailored for u ;-;
and get u to that point he did HJSDKJF
once ur banner dropped? immediately started wishing
2 multis in and he gets u 😣
albedo nearly cried and was the literal embodiment of head in hands
wHEN I SAY HIS CHAT BLEW TF UP AND HIS MODS JOINED IN
modCheck has left the chat
everyone’s rooting for him :’)
pulled for ur weapon and got it in 1 multi
sir give me ur luck pls and ty
but yes he nearly choked on the gASP he let out while chat screamed even more
he blanked for a bit, i won’t lie ;-;
but when he realised this was real, he immediately went to his party set up and put u in
can we all get an f in the chat for his lvl 10 tartaglia 😔💔👊
his chat usually rages at him to build him but if he’s being honest, he cba
ur vl when he put u in the party tho <333
now he’s just spent half an hour running around with u, letting u do ur idle animations (will always be grateful for mihoyo creating u like this), reading ur very limited (for now—) character story and going through ur voicelines 
ur morning & about us (when he unlocks it) voiceline >>>>> his heart be running laps rn i swear
eventually he does begin to build u after much admiration on his end and at lvl 1 with lvl 20 artifacts, u already have 1.6k atk 🐥
now after he levels u and ur weapon to lvl 90, u have 2.8k atk 🐥
rip mobs <//3
he now plays u as his main dps 😌
the kit initially designed for u is meant to be more for support?? kinda like the whole ganyu or zhongli debate abt them being a dps or a support/sub dps ;-;
except ur more utility like venti or bennett
and even though the majority said at the beginning (aka, mihoyo, pretty much any other streamer and the larger part of the fanbase) that ur meant for support, he said fuck that and built u as his main dps
and i won’t lie, u do more damage than any of his characters, and ppl who co op with him
ur his pride and joy :’)
he went to take a look at ur consts to see if they were worth the rng suffering and, lo-and-behold,
they were
so now he’s using all his saved primos for u to try and get ur c6 const, along with making ur weapon r5 :’)
his chat gets a free view of him internally suffering when the gold light doesn’t come, and his external suffering when he loses the 50/50
in the end, he decided to whale for u <33
after nearly an hour, he has u to c6 and ur weapon to r5 ;-;
now all he’s been doing the whole stream is running around with u in open world, doing his daily farming, doing more domain and boss runs, exploring the new region (dragonspine) + ur story quest
he’s saving the event quest for another stream bc ✨content✨ 
in ur quest, he had multiple heart attacks and now has many, many screenshots <3
he now has a zoomed in pic of ur face as his twt pfp <33
okay so i also feel like he’s not all that bothered abt getting characters to friendship level 10 immediately and would rather let it happen through time
but obv ur not any other character *proceeds to debby ryan at u*
even if ur not fit for a particular domain or boss, he still puts u in the party so when collecting the blossom/rewards, u can get the friendship exp ;-;
he just wants ur name card so he can show off okay 🥺
when he lets his viewers pick out the playlist, 98% of the songs are from ur character demo theme 
they just know him so well 😩
they also just wanna see the way he smiles when he hears it play but shhhhhh
now he just has his in-game avatar as u, and ur namecard too <33
also his signature is just ;
“ (y/n)’s favourite streamer ”
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elekinetic · 2 years ago
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Quick! Tag your top favorite byler blogs (as many as you want) and tell my why you love them in one line to spread positivity on the dashboard and make someone's day!
FINALLY! THE TIME HAS COME!
this is in no particular order
first up. my wheelies. my ride or dies. call it traumabonding or whatever u want but these mfs know secrets of mine they better take to the grave
@hawkinsp0st, my first real friend on here. currently on hiatus but truly a kindred spirit. single-handedly changed the way i looked at the show with their hellfire color post. u simply get me and i miss ur brain!!
@ratt-duffer deserves so much more credit than you all give them. he just gets this show so well and has such well written analyses, but more than that, is just a fun fuckin person to exist around.
@willsglock my sister in glock. what can i say. she has permanently altered the way i think about brba and bcs. refreshingly honest in a way i wish more people were. occasionally breaks hearts w her writing.
@crazycoven no. 1 weezer stan in my heart ❤️ jk but fr hayden is such a cool person with some of the best themes and best takes on this site. very glad to know him
@tntozier deserves financial compensation for what theyve given to this tag. one of the brightest souls on here. everything he posts is a gift and u all should be so lucky 🤨 thank u for screaming abt st puzzle games and convincing me to download. i blame you for my crippling addiction.
ok onto some of my other favorite geniuses on here <3
@quinnick his energy??? immaculate. thank u for putting reddie content on my dash. u are so sweet and are the only valid ask hoarder. yes ofc i will send you more asks!! you deserve it!! even if you won’t stop making ur mom jokes.
@madcleradin just fucking gets it. she has never made a single post i did not wholeheartedly agree with. her understanding of the characters and the dynamics….phenomenal. also genuinely hilarious. very grateful to be mutuals w one sierra loveqbrl madcleradin
@mlchaelwheeler is a certified genius and is single-handedly responsible for getting me to restart succession. we don’t chat very often but when we do it is so much fun. she always puts such good posts i’ve never seen before on my dash and her analyses are genius. sarah’s blog is a gift to this site!!!
@chiquitablanquita changed my life with her poetry fic. i just. wow. wow. oh my god. yeah basically yeah. oh my god. i am in awe of you for the work u do outside of fandom and for the absolute insane talent u so gracefully share with us.
@eightieslesbian is The Gif Maker on here. her visions…holy shit. yes her gifs of my demos and the bitch meredith brooks gifset haunt my dreams bc she is the sweetest person on here and the fact that she DOWNLOADED MY MUSIC?? hello my heart is broken in two. but can we talk about HER original stuff?? HELLO?? she is so insanely talented and her vision is just….omg. OMG.
@elmaxed lumi and i don’t chat all that much but her brain is just so correct always and forever. her writing is wonderful and her energy is stellar. always happy to see her on my dash.
@wibble-wobbegong is such a fun blog to follow. he’s just such a cool dude and has such a nuanced understanding of mike. plus a great signature blog theme. dude has a BRAND, mad respect
@astrobei i cannot believe we are mutuals. i CANNOT BELIEVE we are mutuals. genuinely one of my favorite writers on ao3 and i still fangirl a little everytime we interact. like. the fics….holy shit. HOLY shit. she has such a firm understanding of the characters and has never written anything that doesn’t feel true to the show, regardless of AU or canon compliance. hanleia costume fic my beloved. good god they are such a talented writer.
@smoosnoom the scream i scrumpt when i got the follow notification. first fic writer i actually learned how to use the “subscribe” function on ao3 for. there are no words for the absolute batshit amount talent stored in this tumblr blog. ik y’all have read i’m tearing you asunder (cue “uh yeah, i’ve read the classics” tiktok audio) but every fic in their fix it series….jesus christ. run up that hill to go read rn.
@strangeswift is in a category of her own. abby u are a twin flame and i am so glad to know u. u simply understand me!! y’all she is such a fuckin phenomenal writer and is SO CEREBRAL in the way she approaches the show. her mike s4 pov snippets live rent free in my head. truly the only person who could get me to voluntarily read angst. NEVER misses with her takes and is just. so smart. SO SMART. the most supportive mfer on here fr. you guys aren’t ready for milevenvision or any of the other stuff you should be so lucky for abby to put out.
ok i could talk about my friends and moots for hours and i definitely DEFINITELY missed ppl but pls just know i follow blogs i love love love the content of and if we are mutuals i value u to the moon and back <333
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oliviamillss · 4 years ago
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reading dreams chart
im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao
**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**
sun:
sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 
sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.
sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.
sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.
sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.
moon:
moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao
moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg
moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.
moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 
mercury:
mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 
mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.
mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.
mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*
mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator
mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)
venus:
venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 
venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 
venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’
venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 
venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 
mars:
mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.
mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.
mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss
mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.
mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 
mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.
jupiter
jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.
jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.
jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.
saturn:
saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?
saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo
saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn
saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 
uranus: 
uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 
uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.
uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 
neptune:
neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.
neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.
neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 
pluto:
pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.
north node:
north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.
chiron:
chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)
lilith:
lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 
lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.
lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming
moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 
 i ought to mention!!
there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.
summary!!!
basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.
im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol
hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3
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cloudcovenkite · 4 years ago
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Hi. Could i request what it would be like to have a crush on maki and nobara and them having a crush on you(both separate scenarios, fem reader) but you're also gojo's younger sister so i feel like he'd be a little shit abt it whenever he catches reader staring or sum shit. And basically how the whole realizing its a crush and how to whole confession goes down, who confesses, and everyones reaction esp gojo bc he's gojo yk.
I hope this wasnt to much or too specific for you and have a good day. Cant wait to read😍
This is really cute and I had a lot of fun writing this one. Sorry it took so long but its finally ready.
Enjoy🥰
What it Would Be Like to Have a Crush on Nobara and Maki as Gojo's Little Sister:
WC: 2.3k
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Nobara Kugisaki
Being the younger sister to 'The Strongest Sorcerer' was not an easy task. Yeah sure you loved him and everything but he just needs to shut his mouth sometimes. You guys were pretty close growing up despite your large age gap, he was the best big brother you could have asked for......sometimes. The current situation had arisen after you joined your brother's class in the first year at Jujutsu Tech. You got along with the other students instantly. Going on missions with each other, spending nights watching movies, and eating as much pizza as you could fit in your mouth. You loved and cared for all of them but one, in particular, held a special place in your heart. Nobara Kugisaki was the most beautiful girl you had ever laid eyes on. Her short red hair and deep brown eyes you could get lost in. Her confident attitude and tendencies to take charge in intense situations drew her to you. As much as you tried to hide your feelings for the sake of your friendship, it was very obvious to someone else. The day was moving very slowly as you sat in class, not paying attention to what was happening. Your eyes started to drift to the redhead, sitting diagonally in front of you. From this angle, she wouldn't be able to see you admiring her delicate facial features or the way she would smile whenever Yuji confidently got an answer wrong.
"Y/N, have anything to share with the class? It looks like your zoning out there."
You snap your head forward at the call of your name. Your older brother has a smug look on his face, he knew what he was doing. You apologize for your lack of focus and the lesson continues. Asshole.
After class Gojo calls you to stay back a bit. You knew what he wanted to talk about so you reluctantly stayed behind.
"So, what did you wanna talk about?" You ask, pretending to have no idea what he's talking about.
"You seemed awful distracted during class today. Wanna tell me why." He had his stupid smile plastered over his face.
"I didn't sleep well last night. I was just thinking about stuff." You tried to ignore the blush slowly creeping up your neck.
"Yeah, think about Kugisaki." He laughed. At this point, your face was feeling hot with embarrassment.
"That's not-NO I-" You couldn't think of the right words to say after your brother exposing you like that, covering your face in your hands out of embarrassment.
"Awwwwwww, look at that. My little sister has a crush." He swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet as he teased you.
"I don't." You said with a serious look on your face in hopes of throwing him off your trail.
"Yeah right. I can smell a lie from miles away." You couldn't outsmart him. Guess all that was left to do was come clean.
"Fine, I do. Can I go now?" You were already tired from your long day at school and now you had to put up with his antics.
"That's cute. You know, I think she likes you two." You looked back at him almost offended. Did he think he could trick you into believing that?
"Yeah right. I get that your power is great but your six eyes can't read people's minds."
"Not their minds but any normal person can read body language. She's always so entranced by the way you speak or how she laughs at your horrible jokes." As you listened to your brother he started to make sense. You always assumed that she was only being a good friend, that you were the one captivated by her.
"Whatever, now can I go?" You asked annoyed.
"Maybe I should tell her about your little feelings." He smirked as you started to walk away.
"Tell her anything and I swear I will pull those pretty little eyes out of your head." You threatened but all he did was laugh.
"Fine, fine. I won't say anything but you should tell her. Life is short Y/N." He patted your shoulder and he left the room. You quickly chased after your brother.
"What should I say to her? I don't know how to do this," you asked, feeling defeated by your own emotions. You expected a smart-ass response from him but he only stood quietly, thinking over what to say.
"Just tell her how you feel, oh, and what you like about her." You didn't expect him to take your question seriously. Looking at him, he pulled his blindfold down. You saw the sincerity in his eyes as he gave you his advice.
"Be honest, don't shy away from what you want or else you'll end up regretting it." You smiled. You never really had a moment like this between the two of you before since Gojo was usually all fun and games but it felt nice to open up to him.
"You know, you give good advice when you're not being an asshole." You poke his side.
"That's why I'm the best big brother." He slung an arm over your shoulder (Why does this man need to be so damn tall) and you two walked back to the dorms.
------------------------------------------------------------
The next day quickly arrived. You had spent all night planning what you were going to say to Nobara when the two of you had a moment alone. As if he was playing cupid, Gojo separated the class so that you and Nobara had time alone to work while Megumi and Yuji trained in a different area. The two of you had all your books laid out messily over the picnic table outside. She needs a little bit of help before the next big test so you offered to help.
"I'm so glad you hear to help me. I suck at this." You brushed it off and continued working through some questions. Now or Never you thought.
"Hey Nobara, random question. I was thinking of telling my crush I like them, any idea's on what I should do?" The question was open-ended enough. She looked up a bit confused and slightly hurt.
"Oh, umm. I don't know. I've never really done anything like that." She looked back down as if you never asked the question and continued to work.
"I was only wondering cause I like this person and I wanted to finally tell them. I was thinking of just being upfront about it but maybe you know a better way?"
"I think being upfront about it is good." She stopped working and looked up at you. You found yourself staring into her eyes, not able to look away.
"I...I really, really like you Nobara." You said out loud. After looking at her you knew that you couldn't hold back anymore. The way her hair perfectly framed her rosy cheeks made you feel warm inside. Her eyes opened in shock at your confession. She sat there not saying anything as her face began to turn red.
"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, just pretend like i-"
"I like you too." She blurted out, cutting your sentence short. Gojo was right (which wasn't a common occurrence).
"Wait?" You were in complete shock. She slowly nodded her head as she tried to hide the flustered look on her face. You started to laugh causing her to smile at you.
"I don't know what to say." Your face felt hot after your confession.
"Don't say anything." You looked to her, confused by her words. Making eye contact, she leaned in and your lips met finally. It was a slow and tender kiss, one of happiness and bliss. Her lips were plump and soft on yours. You reached and cupped her face in your hand as you deepened the kiss. You pulled away out of shock and need for air. Her eyes were full of love as her face was tinted a light shade of pink. You didn't know how to respond to the situation.
"I knew it!" You both looked to the side where Gojo was standing with Megumi and Yuji behind him. The basted had the biggest smile on his face. Megumi had a subtle shocked look while Yuji's jaw hit the floor. You both looked away after getting caught. Gojo came up behind you and started talking about how he was right and pestering you while your two other classmates just watched their teacher harass the two of you.
"look at my little sister all grown up." He grabbed your chin and smushed your cheeks in his large hand.
"Stop it Satoru." You waved him off of you.
"Say I'm the best big brother and I'll leave you alone."
"Not happening." He slouched over your shoulder. His tall and lanky frame doubling over you.
"Okay fine, you the best big brother."
"Ever?"
"Ever." He stood up tall and congratulated the two of you. Nobara still reeling from embarrassment.
"Usually I would give you two a long speech about you getting pregnant but I don't think I need to worry about that."
"Satoru!" You shouted as he ran away.
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Maki Zenin
Being a second year at Jujutsu tech meant you didn't have to put up with your older brother as your teacher anymore. The freedom you felt was overwhelming. You got to know your fellow second years quite well during your time. You and panda like to brawl with each other now and then. You can understand Toge quite well now. The person you were the closest with by far was Maki Zenin. As the only two girls in your year, you guys spend a lot of time together. Where spending hours talking when you should be sleeping or trying to outdo each other at Mario cart (Currently you are in the lead) you guys were inseparable, practically joined at the hip. Because you guys were so close you started to catch feelings for her very quickly while in your first year but you brushed it off as a sisterly like love. After growing and realizing just how much you truly cared for her you started to confide in your older brother, Gojo. You two became quite close while you attended Jujutsu Tech so much so that you started to have proper grown-up conversations (Or as grown-up as Gojo can be). He would make fun of you for your feeling but you could make just as much fun of him when it came to him not knowing how to be a real adult. Make fun of how skinny he is and he will fold like a lawn chair.
It was just another day after class. It was boiling outside and the school didn't have good air conditioning in their classes so you decided to go bother your brother in the staff lounge.
"You know your not supposed to be in here," Gojo said while on his phone. You plopped down on the long couch, dying of heatstroke.
"What are you gonna do? Kick me out. I'd like to see you try." You guys sat in silence for a minute while you recovered your strength to talk to him.
"It is so hot outside." You mutter.
"I think that's what happens during the summer." He responds with a smirk. You just grumble at him.
"You talk to Maki yet?" He quickly changed the subject. He's been on your ass about it ever since you told you were going to tell her your feeling...2 months ago.
"I'll do it when I want to. What do you know about feeling." You said rhetorically.
"I am an expert on love. I have had my fair share of it."
"Sleeping with anybody who takes the slightest interest in you isn't love, it's called being a man whore."
"Hey, take that back!" He pointed at you all dramatic-like. He knew it was true but hearing it come out of his little sister's mouth had a different impact.
"No. Your a man child who never considers other people's feelings so that makes you a man whore." You smile at him. He started at you with a competitive grin.
"I think I need to go have a little conversation with Maki." Gojo then teleported out of the room before you could grab a hold of him. Before thinking about it, you sprinted out of the room to find him. Running up and down the halls, you found the two of them talking in the main corridor. You run-up to the two of them out of breath from sprinting in the heat.
"So Maki-san. What do you have to say about this." You look to Gojo horrified. Did he tell her about your true feelings? Looking to Maki who had a relatively calm look on her face.
"I mean I feel the same way, I don't know why you had to make such a big deal of it Gojo-sensei." You were startled by her words. Did she like you? Gojo backed up a bit to give you some space but he stayed close enough to hear you two.
"Wait really, you do?"
"Yeah of course." She seemed so calm it was almost scary.
"Maki I, I really like you. Like a lot. I was scared to say anything cause I didn't want to ruin our friendship." You blushed after finally coming clean.
"Wait, what?" She looked shocked and confused. You looked horrified.
"What did he say to you?"
"Umm, he said that you were happy to have me as a best friend." That asshole. He tricked you into confessing.
"I'm sorry I sh-"
"No, I...kinda like you too." Maki looked down a bit. Her golden eyes portray strong emotions. After all the confusion you didn't know how to react. You brought her into a tight hug and snuggled your face into her neck to which she reciprocated. You pulled back and pecked her check causing her to get flustered.
"Haha, I'm the best." Gojo stood next to the two of you feeling accomplished in himself. You ran and tackled him to the floor.
"I am going to hurt you so bad."
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starvels · 2 years ago
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5, 16, 27, 38, 49 <3
hi sweet ev! thanks for asking 💖
answering asks from this fic writer's meme!
5. how long have you been writing?
i would say i've been writing since i was a kid ! i've always loved poems and prose and i made up two whole fantasy verses and started writing them and character designing when i was like, 10. so longer fiction has always appealed to me. i was the annoying kid that always wanted an essay in school instead of multiple choice, haha.
but yeah, for fandom: i started writing naruto fic when i was in my early teens too, that never saw the light of day. then i was in og spn fandom for a bit and marvel and a:tla and fma and then one direction and then all the way back to naruto and marvel to publish a shit ton of words. life's a circle is the answer!
16. easiest verse to write
mm interesting question!
i feel like i go through phases. for me at this moment, 1872 is real easy to slide into, but in general, we were meant as a verse is very easy to write (and does still have two sequels on my drive awaiting my attention span long enough to finish) and respiraro, si te videro, which uh, i guess its a secret but i have...already started writing...more for...dkjnbkd
27. best review you ever got
oooh difficult! i won't say reviews are best or worst type things, so here are two (relatively) recent ones that i hold p dear:
on rstv:
I'm losing my mind, this is so good. The way you wove the requested elements in, and gave them narrative purpose and emotional weight and coherence within the universe as written. The way you didn't handwave stuff away, physical or emotional, and let revelations and character development be messy and imperfect for both of them.
which felt rly good bc rstv is actually a much heavier plot than i usually do and it is such a complex one to boot, that i was worried about conveying everything well. really affirmed that i am capable of doing this level of intricacy in plot crafting, to me!
and someone in my dune discord server shared with me what they said to a friend of theirs abt my writing in general:
do you ever read something in a style you could probably never write in and just feel this feeling that's like half awe and half burning jealousy? like I this isn't even how I write, but I wish I could write like this, because I like it so much
which felt very uplifting and delightful, coming from a person who is as technically skilled and well read as they are. i've had some worries about how purple my prose is and how meandering my plots are and when i hear things that say my style in particular is enjoyable, it really makes me arthur_clench_fist.gif feel a lot!
38. do you reread your own stories?
oh absolutely, lol. i love what i write, it's catered to my niche interests. i have rstv open on my phone right now for pre-bed reading. and i do reread fics a lot in totality when i'm working on writing them, so i keep everything tidy and structured proper in my head, so i've been reading stop bath and devils in the canyon a lot lately.
will also say - i do read some of my own fics more than others. the ones i've written in massive marathon sprints of 10k a day (rstv, aws, wwm verse, wwwg, etc.) are in some ways more fun to read than ones i spent a long time writing, because they still feel a little mmmm shiny and i haven't worried so much about one line or another that it gives me stress to recall.
49. writing advice
identify what it is that you actually love about writing, and cultivate a relationship with the craft through that. hold onto the good feeling it inspires within you. don't worry so much about process or plot structure. take risks. take inspiration and organize it so you can actually look through it when you need inspiration. read people's work who write what you wanna write and how you wanna write and publish where you wanna write. find your community and be vocal in it; ask about your insecurities if you decide that improving on the craft is what you wanna do.
writing is a bit like carefully preparing meticulous slices of your heart for people to slurp down in a second. learn to meter out how much labor and expectation you want to extend to that cooking. don't take it to heart when people leave without a word to the chef. they still ate it.
find your community and be vocal in it!! nothing replaces a comforting voice in the middle of a vortex of self doubt, calling out to you to go the fuck to sleep because none of the demons roaming your work page at 4AM care about your delicate feelings.
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by-kilian · 3 years ago
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(if this ask makes u uncomfortable in any way, feel free to ignore it, delete it, whatever u need to do. ur happiness matters more to me than anything else. however, i am specifically sending this not on anon, despite my incessant urge to do so as i barely ever send off anon, to give u the chance to reply to this privately if u want to. but that is if u want to! i don’t need, or want, anything from u. ur comfort outweighs any sort of recognition or interaction. i am also extremely unsure if this is gonna send properly bc i am on the tumblr app n the character limit seems to be nonexistent now? when did this happen HAHA…)
i went looking for u (scrolled thru the keyword of ur old user on tumblr, found an older ask that includes it) bc That App is talking abt That Story again. it always troubled me how things went down - i’ve experienced writers taking down their works before but never like that. orphaning works, sure. deleting ao3s, yep. but NEVER thru what u went thru. i don’t even generally go here (here being x readers), but That Story got pushed my way when the whole situation was in its hayday n i never properly paid attention to things until i caught wind of what u had to do. i had no idea it was that bad until maybe a week after the situation had been over n done with by ur actions. n i don’t blame u in the slighest. fandom culture is both extremely fun n extremely damaging - the fact u got the shortest end of the stick that i’ve ever seen is truly smth awful.
all of that aside, i am so extremely overjoyed to see ur still writing. truth be told, i hadn’t known of u before That Story, since again, my aversion to x readers. but ur writing is clearly smth special - n maybe this is extremely crude to say, i’m extremely sorry if it is - considering the way ppl acted over it. above it all, i am just happy to see that ur ok. everything is fine, as much as it can be. that fact alone leaves me content. i am SO glad u were able to push past it.
tldr, since i know this is a lot. i am so happy to see ur still kicking it, despite it all. content creation in any form is deeply personal if u put ur heart into it, n it seems like u do. i am so sorry for the way ppl treated u over That Story. i am doubly sorry if this made u feel upset in any way, shape, or form. that was not my intent, feel free to do whatever it is u need to do with this silly ask if this is the case. n maybe this is corny, but i hope more things fall in ur favor, instead of otherwise. have a nice day!
This is actually a really kind and considerate ask. I'll answer it under a cut since my response is pretty long though!
Firstly, I just want to say thank you for being thoughtful enough to consider my feelings in all of this. It's really kind of you and I'm not saying that just to say it. ❤️
Secondly, yeah. It all was a bit of a hell fire. While I wish it never happened, it obviously did but I'm happier now than I was then. Even before ThatStory blew up, my old writing blog was getting out of control and people were feeling super entitled to me, my works, what I did, and who/what I wrote about so in a way, I'm not surprised it headed that way although I never expected it to go THAT way lol. And yes, it was pretty bad but luckily it is done and over with. Fandom culture can be super fun and that's initially what it was for me--just fun before it unfortunately tipped over to the other extreme side of fandom which is toxic. It is what it is.
But to touch on your main point, thank you and it's not crude at all. I don't see your comment that way. In a way, I've come to think of it as much as well (that it must have resonated with people in some weird way) but not just with that particular story but other stories, too so it is really sweet that someone who doesn't read these kinds of stories thinks that of them as well. It also means a lot to me that someone cared enough to think about how I was doing after all this because that really hasn't been the case apart from loyal readers. Most ppl never think about me in this situation 😂 which is probably why what happened, happened. So thank you for the kind words. I'm fine. Like I said, happier now than I was in my previous blog. I've come to think that it's all meant to be. I get a lot more freedom here, I have the sweetest, most loyal readers, and no one feels entitled to my works, my time, or what I do.
Also you didn't upset me at all. While it's admittedly irritating to see people still talking about that shit a literal year and three months or so later, that has nothing to do with you so no worries. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to check up on me, and thank you for being so kind. Content creation is super personal and I do put my heart into it, so it means a lot to me that you see that 🥺! Truly.
I'm touched that there are still kind, good, decent people out there because for you to take the time to look for me and send me something lovely truly means a lot, especially considering you weren't necessarily a reader of mine--just clearly a kind, thoughtful human being. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Honestly. Thank you so so much for the lovely sentiments, and I hope all is well for you in the future as well. ❤️❤️❤️
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ddarker-dreams · 3 years ago
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when they mention abt childe's wedding towards the bride herself i was like "ooff i felt that" THE GOOSEBUMPS
(i decided to go ahead and consolidate my responses to the snowstorm so i won't clog up your guys' feed!!)
that was one of the moments i looked forward to writing the most ngl. just the sheer audacity childe has to inconvenience other, well-meaning folk with his nonsense. he's so annoying GEH!!!!
Anon 2 said: OMG THAT CHILDE FIC! What an asshole.. srsly killing innocent ppl. I always do wonder what super evil punishments the yandere has in store for them. Also- I have noticed this throughout but your stories always have a lot of 'screentime' for the yanderes & while I love that I think it's totally okay to not have them show up as much! All that time without Childe was really building up the tension, anxiety and unforeseen horror :3 you really nailed that but uggghh how did Childe find ussss
that's a relief to hear!! i wanted to try and see if i could keep a story engaging without the yandere constantly being present, so that was the challenge i gave myself. i think that childe was able to find darling for a few reasons. the first and foremost was that he lied about when he'd be home and was fresh on the trail not too long after darling escaped (maybe an hour or two?). second, is he's way more familiar with the territory than darling is, that was a fact he could use to his advantage. all that added up to him finding darling.
Anon 3 said: That childe fic was amazing !! I loved the reader so so much ! Do you think you’ll write anymore with them 👉👈 (Sorry if that’s pressuring, it’s not intentional)Also perhaps share the playlist 👉👈 if you’re comfortable ofc
thank you very much anon!!!! and hm,, i’m not sure if i’ll write more for that particular universe, although i do want to try writing more ruthless darlings. so it’s likely you’ll see more of that in the near future. as for the mini playlist, i can give you the songs on it! 
one / two / three / four / five
the first song gave inspiration for the fics namesake!
Anon 4 said: It's always such a joy when you write Childe. Love your work and keep it up <33333
trust me, i absolutely adore writing for childe! he’s my favorite for a reason. his unhinged nature lends perfectly to the yandere trope. man is already bloodthirsty, he’s just looking for an excuse. thank you very much!!! 
Anon 5 said: CHILDE FOOD THANK YOU!!!!!🍽 it was so good and nerve-wracking omg
i wanted to make it as nerve-wracking as possible,, there’s just something about running away in the snowy woods at night that feels ominous. smh childe... why couldn’t you have picked a tropical place instead? thank you so much for the feedback!!
Anon 6 said: AAAAAAAAAA THE SNOWSTORM FIC SISBZISNSJSMSOJ BEAUTIFUL MUAH MUAH
Many hugs and kisses to you!! \(⁎˃ᆺ˂)/
THANK YOU NONNIE!!! I APPRECIATE IT A LOT <3 
Anon 7 said: THE CHILDE PIECE IS A MASTERPIECE
i’m so glad to hear you think so hrjtkmgerl i was working on it for a few days at full steam. i remember getting to around the 3k word mark and going uh. hm. is this any good actually ? so seeing the positive reception i feel extra grateful!! 
Anon 8 said: as always your works leave me in awe, I really love how you write, Snowstorm was beautiful. 🥺🥺
thank you very much!!!!! i’m glad that i decided to make it a longer fic, it’s been a while since i’ve done one of those for genshin. 
Anon 9 said: me, watching reader get insulted by the dress lady:╰(‵□′)╯
reader: *kills her w/ a broach*
me: o_O
seriously tho i gasped?? bc whoa!! that was so good props to u asfsdfsd..u rlly kept the tension going and gave me whiplash so many times (in a good way!)
LMOIGER i was wondering if anyone would see it coming?? the start of the story is what i based the rest of the fic on... i just wanted to write for a darling who was willing to do literally anything to escape. i kept google pictures of pins and going could darling kill someone with this? then just decided whatever, you can do anything you put your mind to, probably. goodbye alina. that’s when everything started going haywire...
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kingsofneon · 3 years ago
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I like your omegaverse ideas too much. Like it scares me a little how much I'm into loss of autonomy stuff. (;ŏ﹏ŏ) It's hot though *whine* ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ Also what do you mean they get Shanks to fuck Marco? Say more right now! Please.
Aw buddy I totally get it tho oh my god. My fic history...COUGHS. ain't nobody seeing that shit but me and god. But really, rubious consent / consenual nonconsent and even specific noncon stuff really 👏....(me: it's about the control taken away so you don't actually have to think about the things you desire, loss of autonomy in a way that makes it easier to think because you don't have to give it up// GOD how bad is your wanting does a fucking....mido just rants in the tags and it's great and I vibe with it so hard
anyway I immediately thought of the below when i read the last part of your ask so i will indulge bc i want to rant abt it so bad LMAAOOO
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ANYWAY it's one of the companion spin-offs on bleed for it I wanna write lmaOOOOoo
After they get together and are ~in love~ and all my dumb plot things are out of the way, one of the things they experiment/play around with is the fact that Marco wants to serve them and has difficulties with being doted on because as an alpha he thinks he shouldn't Like It. So if he can't be an alpha, they tell him that he'll be their omega instead. Very much abt marco's service kink + how tied he is to being Told to do things so he can be good + playacting as an omega because he likes to sub but doesn't know how + he thinks he can't hurt them if he's Theirs, and this is maybe a year in so he's still a bit Trauma about the stuff he did to Ace on top of not actually having a word for asexuality or really Getting it, so he likes when they organise things for him and get him to do things.
Ace likes his bfs being taken care of, so he's okay with it, and it is comfortable to have control, and Sabo, Sabo thinks it's hot as shit that Marco goes to his knees, but also he preens bc it feels like revenge sometimes too, to be mean and know marco likes it, to show him how he treated omegas with nonchalance and disregard and make Marco pay penance. Sabo pays his own, but he'll take his dues where he can get them.
This PARTICULAR scenario is neither Ace or Sabo have a knot (they've def used toys on him before, but think it would be fun to get him full and messy and humiliated) so they get Shanks involved to help them out. Really fuck Marco up. And really really fuck him.
They've talked about bringing in another alpha or using scent patches to disguise themselves, but having Shanks over, ah, Marco's not necessarily remembering those conversations. Shanks coming over is a normal occurrence.
There's alcohol involved, a little, because Shanks likes it, and Ace with his hands dragging on the nape of Marco's neck, Sabo with very pointed words and Marco VERY much wants Shanks to leave so he can make them hold to their teases, but then the topic shifts to omegas and very carefully Marco gets referred to as their omega. And he knows how to make them stop, if he wants, but he very carefully lets them steer, knowing they'll have planned something and always fine to follow their lead, up until the way they approach it with Shanks, picking deliberately at (spoiler, so I shan't say); "well omegas don't mind getting shared around as long as they get fucked. And we thought, well, you're such a good friend, why not."
Ace grinning, sharp, his hand on the nape of Marco's neck as he says, "Plus Marco's got a wandering eye. Might as well curb that."
And Marco flushing, because he doesn't, not really, but they're absolutely referencing the messy half-crush he had on Shanks when he was younger and it's embarrassing, and also, he doesn't want Shanks, not the way he wants them. Shanks is attractive and clever and fun, but he's loyal, in a way that means being passed off - pushed off the couch to slowly sink to his knees in front of Shanks, Sabo's foot braced on his back - is, humiliating? Longing. But if this is what they want him to do, it's embarrassing, but he still gets hot for it.
Shanks appraising him, cupping his cheek so gently to turn his head before saying that he guesses he can give it a shot, Marco's not his usual type, but they always wax poetic about how good he is, how caring and attentive, who's he to deny such affection?
Who Is He Indeed, but he does brim with compliments aimed so precisely at stuff that makes Marco flustered - at things that are lewd or explicit or go directly to things Ace and Sabo have said about him, to Shanks, while they're acting all high and mighty and not touching him. Letting Shanks do all the work, getting him slick and stretched and ready for a proper knot before asking Ace and Sabo their opinion on the best way to take him - to make Marco ride him, or to press him down on the table and fuck him that way?
"He's got plenty of stamina," Sabo offers, "and you've far more experience than us, I'm sure he'll enjoy whatever you decide."
"True," Shanks says with a grin, and pats Marco's side, getting him to stand. "Hear that? I know your boys try and take care of you, but I've got experience, baby, don't worry if you're speechless when I'm through."
Getting Marco to ride him so he can use his free hand to tease and discover sensitive places, complimenting them for their pretty, well-behaved omega, how well they've trained him, and Ace sitting on the edge of Shanks' chair arm but refusing to let Marco touch him, just watching so he can note when Shanks groans and shifts back, the way that he grabs Marco's hips and takes control of the pace.
Ace grinning, taking Marco's chin to stare into his dazed eyes, and Sabo comes up behind to lean over Ace's shoulder. Clicks his tongue, and says, "Don't be disrespectful Marco, he's a guest. He's putting in all this effort, and what, you're not going to be polite?"
Marco knows that everyone knows and he doesn't want to say it- managing a single please.
"Please what?"
"Shanks..."
"i don't know what you want omega." Shanks grinning as he catches their game, strained edges to it as he pushes Marco back, grip shaking as he forces his knot out of the tight heat to see Marco shudder at the pop, "Is there something you want to say?"
Marco swallowing so hard, so much feeling, and Shanks' cock is still okay, but he'd felt the press of the knot and it'd made his legs shake, and if it's not in him when it properly forms it's not going to go in, and Marco presses his lips together. Because what's the point of this game if he doesn't get knotted, and he'd told them, as well, the fantasy of feeling it, and he knows they'll understand and fake teasing disappointment but he can't-
"Alpha," he says, a whine slipping into his tone, and he watches Ace and Sabo grin gleefully, and that seems like more than enough for Shanks to bring him back down hard. And it was late, late enough to be half-formed, so the sudden press has Marco jolting like he'd touched a livewire, coming unexpectedly at the rough treatment. At how he was so suddenly split open, pain and pleasure a mix he wasn't expecting. Going boneless in Shanks' lap, exhausted and shuddering as Shanks cums in him, a feeling that toys can't emulate. Drooling just a little because he can't close his mouth, slack and panting.
Finally getting enough to mumble something like: my boyfriends are better and Shanks jolts in absolutely hysterical laughter, matched by Ace burying his face in his hands to stifle his own noises and Sabo trying to hide his fondness even as he tweaks Marco's ear.
(Sabo instigates cuddles that night; he refuses to let it be commented on). (But it is kind of sweet that Marco decided to defend their honour.)
(ALSO when I was talking this idea with Tams, idk, had the sudden thought that Shanks is not allowed to have kisses because that is for Ace and Sabo only. Only they get Marco kisses. Marco is fine if they kiss other people but he only really wants to kiss them.)
(Shanks is a bit of a grey area and Marco's okay if he has a bit more warning/if Shanks asks, but in this one he gets his open, panting mouth only teasingly kissed by Ace and Sabo as they pass by him to get a better view to watch)
(also momentarily back to loss of autonomy but low-key this, just, god. marco, ace, or sabo, giving up control for their partners in the ways that they themselves are physically or emotionally tied to, that they consider their strengths? Hm, yeah, just lemme (goes insane). Romantic, loyal Marco, so eager to be used, Sabo letting them tie him down, being broken in and kept, Ace allowing them to pull him apart and pick at his scars and make him heal- just. I have lots of other thoughts about that but this is scattered and I have done so much overtime this week but I wanted to finish this jhsjhd)
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eurydicees · 3 years ago
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thoughts on the musicals y’all recommended!
tysm for all the recs! i had so much fun listening to them, i really appreciate it! always feel free to rec more :)  
to preface, there’s no actual judging system. it’s all about the vibes. so, in the order that i listened to them: 
the mad ones
i already made a post abt this one, but i have to mention it again. i’ve been listening to it on repeat. like. straight up on a loop. 
i’m obsessed with this
the storyline is so put together, and you can really feel the heart of the show
the characters were well written (with the exception of the boyfriend tbh, i could have done without him), and i’m so fascinated by sam and kelly’s relationship (writers were cowards for making them not gay) 
the songs felt super cohesive, and the repeated drum loop was super well integrated. the sound techie in me is fascinated by the way this show was put together, and i’d love to see it performed (like. fr. i was getting ideas for the design. which is always so much fun) 
19.75/10
romeo es julia
holy shit this slaps
costumes were weird
but the music was brilliant
some of the captioned lyrics were ???? bad translation or bad lyrics??? but the sound was incredible so i don’t even care 
mercutio and tybalt were spot on
the moms were GREAT. i LOVED their voices, like. could FEEL the emotions, even if i didn’t know wtf they were saying 
pretty much everyone was like that, like idk what’s going on via words, but i def can feel it, which is the best kind of song
my mother didn’t like this one but whatever, she didn’t get to see the choreo that went with it so what does she know 
the SET. the LIGHTS. the SOUND. the SET. the LIGHTS. the SOUND. chef’s kiss. 
14/10 
ordinary days
eh
i liked “favorite places” and “beautiful” a lot, but the rest of the songs were only okay
i wasn’t super attached to the characters and the singing was just. like. okay for me. i didn’t love any of them in particular 
my mother also didn’t like this one, rip. she has a lot of opinions on musicals. 
6/10
venice
oh my fucking god???????? 
not what i expected at all. right from the first lines i was like. 😲😲😲 
like. this was so good??? wtf???? hamilton meets shakespeare meets the mechanisms meets les mis meets post-9/11 politics meets dystopia. i thought it couldn’t be done, but here i am, in awe
i was going to include some favorite lines but. it’s just all of them. ALL of them. 
further confirmation that i’m in love with jennifer damiano. 
also angela polk?? incredible 
it’s weird bc it’s so clearly Not Broadway Music, but it’s also not trying to be, which i enjoy. i can see why some critics hated it (read some really funny reviews lmao), but i really loved the sound (haven’t seen the show, though, and that’s half of a musical, so maybe gonna try and find a bootleg) 
18.99/10
count of monte cristo 
damn from the overture this was. Intense. like. damn. i’m a slut for any dies irae sequence, so i was a big fan of that
that being said. gonna be real. i had no idea what was happening throughout the entire musical. it’s a pretty music-light show, so that’s probably why? 
maybe it would make more sense if i watched a performance rather than just listening to the soundtrack??? idk. anyone got a bootleg? 
thomas borchert has a nice voice. very distinctive. googled him to see where else i can listen to him. he was rum tum tugger. anyways. mad respect for this man
sonically, it didn’t feel like a very cohesive show? like it felt like there were a lot of diff vibes going around
lots of good songs for my evil musicals playlist though 
11/10 
once on this island (2017 revival)
ok turns out musicals are a lot better when sung by professionals than by sixth graders who think they can belt even tho their voices are still cracking 
also turns out that stories can be much more complex and interesting-- and have much deeper themes of racism and classism-- when on broadway than when in a sweaty middle school auditorium in an upper middle class white neighborhood 
funny how that works, huh 
i’m still a little unsure abt it, and probably wouldn’t listen to it just because i can, but i definitely don’t object to it anymore 
ty for making me give it a second try 
hailey kilgore is brilliant in this
the singing in general is REALLY impressive and beautiful 
12.68/10 
death note
i cannot express enough in words how mad i am that i actually liked this
genuinely don’t know how to feel 
i do think that i would get more out of it if i watched the anime, but it was still pretty easy to follow, just knowing the premise 
idk who the cast is bc i found a weird shady playlist on spotify rather than a cast recording, but the girl’s voice (idk character names) was beautiful. “i’ll only love you more” was SO good
reminded me a little of jekyll and hyde? which? huh
also i’m now getting tik tok videos with audio from this musical can my iphone stop stalking me for ONE second
fucking unfair that this is actually a good soundtrack. the desire to find a bootleg is unholy. 
14.87/10 
35mm
why did no one tell me that alex brightman is in this!!!!
i listened to a few songs and really enjoyed them, but didn't get through the whole album lmao
but i did really enjoy what i did listen to, and i'm gonna come back to it
9/10
ghost quartet
i wanted to like this one. SO badly. i REALLY wanted to like it.
but i couldn't really get into it? 
there were a few songs that absolutely slapped, but overall, it was just kinda. eh. which sucks bc i have heard such good things about it
i LOVED "the astronomer," "the telescope," and "lights out" 
but i didn't get through the entire album
i'll come back to it eventually and give it another try, i think. i might just not have been in the specific mood for it
9.8/10
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cassyapper · 4 years ago
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Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know
OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF
i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi
jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying
caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand
AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them
JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them
fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral
foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil
jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah
gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo
yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you
anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves
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