#im only taking 4 courses! i know people taking 5 who arent struggling as much as me w workloads!!

[silverislander]

i know logically in my brain that i have a disorder that makes it hard for me to focus and do work, the symptoms of which are not gonna go away bc other people need/want me to do stuff, and still like. i'm behind on a bunch of shit for school rn and i'm kind of spiralling over it bc WHY IS IT HARD. this is stuff i like doing and that i want to do. and i can't for the life of me fucking do it and the deadlines are coming up and i NEED TO FUCKING GRADUATE so it has to get done

[littlenekosfan]

Since no one else asked... Do the boys for the ask meme too uwu There is never too much Bazz and Jugram <3

oh BOY we are here for a fun ride :)

1. Favorite thing about them

that is a rather complicated question since it's so open... hm, lets go about what i like about their character

bazz, his passion, i love that fire he has in his heart, so bright you can see it shine in his eyes, in everything he does.. passionate people are the ones i love to hear the most about, their engagement and enthusiasm always inspires me even if i dont relate, you can tell im a person of love haha, its my most important value and he has no shame in showing that, he always smiles and have that confidence, and still feel like a relatable character, down to earth, and i really love that

jugram is a little harder to love given his... cold persona (no being hot wont count here) but there is something that makes me fall for him and its his unconditional love... he isnt really open about the concept of love, and he very much has his own interpretation of it, where he keeps hiding what it truly holds even to himself... while i dont like how he denies it, he never killed it, he never killed that flame in his heart even if it means it would hurt him in the future... his love for bazz is just beautiful to me, to love someone for all the goods and bad, from the past to the future, to love even if the ideas dont collide with yours... he cant let go bc he genuinely feels love, and im glad he kept it and accepted it despite it all

was that too fanon or vague ?? im probably talking to myself or i talk as if the person heard all my interpretation of these two... very specific, so i dont blame you if you dont get it

tbh there is so much to love, their story, their personality, their contrast, their relationship, their struggles etc etc, its just, SO much and its all so good..

2. Least favorite thing about them

ahh, i always try to see "what went wrong" with these two... while there is a lot of mistake there and there, which are human or misunderstandings, there is one thing that... kind of upsets me, its this

i know what you're going to say, naki you're not supposed to take it literally, but i think it is... the more i read it, the more it makes sense with how they acted in their separation, but has humans, its so.. out of touch... like, oh yeah, never talk about your traumas/struggles/feelings with your partner bc we understood eachother??? bro you've only known eachother for 6months and yall arent even adults....... no way they never talked about that but also, if they had, they wouldnt have had that break up....... anyways, what im saying is, its unrealistic and it actually irks me.........

3. Favorite line

"Don’t worry about what the grown-ups tell you, I’ll teach you everything you need to know, We're gonna become the strongest Quincies, Jugo"

"Ishida Uryu... you should go save your friends..."

both can get my crying in the club... the first one bc it touches me personally, and the second bc... juazz feelings

4. brOTP

jugram: lille, askin, his aide (also aizen ???)

bazz: haha.... who even wants to be friend with him, actually i want to... askin.

bonus with juazz+ichiishi !!!!!! i love that combination sm

5. OTP

ill just list my ships with involving: juazz, juazzbert, jubert, hubazz, baskin

6. nOTP

juhasch....... and lowkey bazzren/jugishi

7. Random HC

well... how about one headcanon of them by age slice

as kids, bazz was jugram's sunshine, too bright sometimes haha, jugram had to take a lot of time to adjust to bazz' energy bc while being cocky and.. arrogant, he's very nice, and he can see that, sometimes it would wear him off since he's not that great, but bazz is too good of an observer, he would quickly notice it and cheer jugram up.. a little hard duo, but they are both trying their best

as teens, they say they are stuck in the forest training but that would require a nice little house wouldnt it? minimum furniture since it's too hard to get some (ahem, sleeping in the same bed for some heat nyehe) but also, that's basically a domestic au lmao but yeah, cooking, doing laundy, bathing.... all stuff together :) i like the idea of bazz being the only one being able to read and jugram learns from him? he takes so much interest that he keeps a journal about their journey or discoveries... bazz too, but not as much... he's too busy being disliked by the neighbor city jfghdfg

young adults/prewar. oh... oh boy, that one i actually need to dev about it with scenarios and my personal hcs but ill go with a ns//fw bc why not :) while they dont talk nor get along well.. like, at all, that doesnt stop them from being... touchy, it wouldnt romantic or anything "reciprocal" (as in, its more selfish/out of impulse then doing *with* the other) but there is def some yearning... lots LOTS of it.. they would kinda regret doing it bc its not right, but they just cant help it...

post war, this one can be very very open and wide, but rebuilding what was lost brings some reconciliation... not fully, but the gap is less... awkward, so they can now talk to eachother without that weird tension, bazz would love teasing jugram but it would always end up falling on his own head fjghdfg,.. there is some up and downs during that time ofc, but no tension like it used to be, they would have some casual talks... too casual that askin can easily pick up how they have history fgjkkfgh

i actually have a lot of hc, such as their physical appearance, their little perks and ofc, their angst... its hard to dev when im just given one random hc fgmjdfg i either end up with scenarios or interpretation rip legit i can make a post of the same length about their hair.. THEIR HAIR.....help

8. Unpopular opinion

i have no shame to blame the very badly received ending of bleach to juazz unpopularity... also ppl considering them as villains, for some reason, yet arrancars gets lots of love and attention but not ritters?? maybe bc of the anime but still?? most ppl in the fandom read tybw now...... sigh..... also, if you dont think romance is possible between them, ill call you homophobe on sight (idm ppl who prefers it platonic, but if you think it "ruins" their relationship, you are so off the grid pal)

also, they are one of the best written characters in the whole series but nobody wants to dig as far as i did.......

and very very hot take but..... you cant have jugram or bazz as a fav if you dislike the other, not sorry

9. Favorite picture of them

and of course

[thekingofwinterblog]

What was the original ending of attack on titan?

So, there has been a lot of talk about wheter the mess we got in AOT 139 was the original ending.

For one thing, we know at least one part of the story did change, as the orignal final page was reduced to a quick sidepanel you might easily miss.

and instead we got this as the final chapter.

Working from the assumption that the ending WAS fully changed from whatever he had planned, lets ask the question. What WAS the original ending for Attack on Titan.

And to that, im gonna turn to the story that the ending was Supposedly gonna take inspiration from.

That being, The Mist, a movie based on a story from Stephen King.

Now, spoilers for The Mist movie below.

The movie’s premise is that one day, suddenly and out of nowhere, a thick, heavy fog rolls into the east coast of america. No one knows where it came from, and we arent given clear answers about its origins. The mist is clearly supernatural in nature though, as monsters stalk through it, causing quite a bit of death and suffering for the main cast.

The entire movie is just about dealing with the aftermath of the mists appearance, as a family struggles to survive, and plenty of people just fucking lose it in the mists.

Lots of stuff happens, lots of deaths, but in the end, the family is driving in a car, until they have no gas left. they hear rather disturbing noises in the distance.

Now the family isnt completely defenceless. they have a gun. with 4 bullets.

Now, with everything that they have learned across the movie, its pretty clear that this is not going to be enough. they ARE going to be killed by these monsters.

So, rather than being painfully torn to shreds by the demonic invaders, the adults make a decision. They have a gun. they have the option of dying quickly instead. only one problem.

The gun only has 4 bullets, and there are 5 of them. meaning someone is going to have to do the deed, and then have to face the monsters alone.

in the end, the father does the deed.

He kills his wife, his son, and two others.

Not surprisingly, he does not react well at the aftermath.

He screams, cries, and jumps out of the car, tries to futilely kill himself in his grief with the now empty gun. slams his hands down on the car, stared hatefully, suicidally off in the distance, and yells “COME ON!” clearly, desperately wanting an end to this as quickly as possible.

However, he is not met by a monster. instead, reality ensues. The sight that greets him is a tank from the american army.

He just stares at it in horror, and, as the mist begins to clear, the army is followed by a more army troops. convoys of rescued civilians. Because of course, the army would actually react to this stuff. monsters are being killed, civilians are being rescued.

And the protagonist finally realises the reality of what just happened. 

He slaughtered his family and killed two more, for absolutely nothing. the movie ends with the MC just having a complete breakdown as he’s approached by soldiers who have no idea about any of what just happened.

Now, this was apparently the kinda ending that attack on titans creator wanted to give the series.

There are two ways to look at this, and two potential endings you could reach. 

either Eren wins and finishes the rumbling, or The alliance wins, and the aftermath is predictable.

Now, i know that a lot of people think the Eren wins ending was originally the ending, but frankly, i dont think so.

I think the original ending was supposed to be the Alliance actually defeating Eren... Only for reality to ensue, and the survivors turning their guns at the now defenceless eldians and mowing them down.

Why do i think this? because this would line up really well with Eren mocking the very idea of humanity teaming up to fight a larger, common foe despite all their diferences early in the story, as well as adress the main reason why people hated the alliance. 

The Alliance... Had no plan. They had absolutely no plans for what to do after killing Eren. they didnt have any ideas for how to achieve peace with the world, how to defend paradis, or anything really. 

they chose to oppose and kill Eren Anyway, because as Henge says, Nothing justifies Genocide.

Having an ending where the guys they have been fighting and killing during the final conflict, that wanted to murder all of them, responding to their great heroic struggle to save the world, by gunning them down and killing them all, would have adressed their complete lack of a plan with the most brutal kind of consequenses.

They did the right thing, and they were NOT rewarded for it. Just like Eddard Stark was not rewarded for his mercy towards the Lannister Children.

It would also just have made so, so much more sense than the non ending to the conflict that we got, and been an incredibly bittersweet note, but withouth any real hope. Just like the Mist.

The alliance did it. they killed eren. they saved the world. they are the greatest heroes of all time. and all it cost was the life of them, and everyone they cared about, as wheter its shown in the final chapter or not, Paradis is going to wiped out as a result of their actions. but hey, at least they stuck to their guns all the way, just like eren did.

The final shot of the manga would have been an ironic flashback, as in the end, Eren’s idea that this conflict would have ended in genocide would have been vindicated, with the most important line of the manga closing out the depressing story of Attack on titan, while also acknowloging and hammering in the the tragedy of Eren’s life.

The boy who sought freedom more than anyone else, was never, ever free.

And it would have ended on a note very similar to The Mist.

A Tragedy where the characters stuck to their guns, and paid with everything for it.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

(pt. 1) it seems ennea 1/8/cp6s can mistype as one another quite often. it also seems that there is an overwhelming amount of bs circulating around these types. especially 8s. you know more than i do, so i figured that i'd ask for your input. thanks in advance if you choose to read all this. basically, which one would you say is most fitting for myself? i'm extremely stubborn and willful. tbh, those two are simultaneously some of my best AND worst traits.

(pt. 2) i've gotten better at unclenching as i've aged though, so on the whole i think they're positive forces in my life at this point. when i was a kid i had some anger issues, but i worked on them and by the time i reached adulthood the issues had been dealt with. i still feel anger (of course lol), possibly a bit more often than others, but i dont really blow up. using that energy to instead try to fix the problem causing anger ASAP is better in literally every way so i do that instead.

(pt. 3) that last part about the anger actually is one of my tripping points, most descriptions of 8s ive read show them as being very explosive. some of them to the point where it sounds kind of cartoonish- which makes me doubt how accurate their descriptions of 8s are. but moving on, i'm very independent and have been from a young age. being reliant on other people is like sandpaper on my soul, i have trust issues tbh (that im working on with a professional)

(pt. 4) one of my more 1-ish traits (i think??) is that i tend to be pretty focused on the morality of my actions, with apparently enough intensity that other people point it out when describing me. i'm VERY concerned with justice. it's difficult for me to be a bystander. seeing people attacking others who cant defend themselves is infuriating on a deep level. i'll stand down if the victim asks, since they know their lives better than me, and offer other forms of support instead.

(pt. 5) related to that, i have very high emotional empathy while also having low cognitive empathy (both due to the same neurodivergence) which i think drives me towards compassion. despite the fact that i, in general, feel things with the intensity of a bonfire pushing the limits of what can be controlled, i apparently dont often show it externally. other people (w/ the exception of close friends) almost universally describe me as aloof. which probably ties into the trust issues tbh.

(pt. 6) close friends have told me that, before they got to knew me, that they were intimidated by me and thought that i didnt like them. other people seem to feel the same, but dont say so very often. with the people that were stubborn/caring enough to actually get to know me, it takes a LONG time for me to start opening up to them. but once we get to that point, pretty much the only thing that'd break off the friendship is them doing something morally reprehensible, violating my boundaries...

(pt.  7) or them ending the friendship themselves. a stumbling block in some of my relationships is that i can get into power struggles, sometimes over things that arent really that important in hindsight. i dont want to be anyones subordinate, i need equality in all my personal relationships if they're going to exist at all. i tend to take on the role of the Dad Friend in my friend groups; ive been told by them that they kind of see me as a source of strength that they can draw from/rely on

(pt. 8) ... its something that i like about myself. im also very blunt when communicating for better or worse. people come to me for honest, direct feedback and input, but it has made me some enemies in the past. when i was less mature it made me kind of abrasive tbh, though i learned to play nice well enough that its been literal years since i heard that specific complaint. also this is apparently relevant to the type question so tl;dr yeah, bad childhood. hopefully this is enough info for you

-------

Hi anon,

Thanks for your patience! My guess is cp6, but I’m not positive. I should also add, as always, that I do believe that neurodivergent people can be typed but because I do not (and should not) have all the details of people’s conditions nor can I judge what is due to those conditions and what is inherent to personality (not to mention whether that condition is something you consider inherent to your personality) it can be much more difficult for me to type.

While the way we act in inboxes isn’t the same necessarily as how we act in real life, “thanks in advance if you choose to read this” is not really an 8 statement to me and none of the writing style here stands out as 8: it’s far too conciliatory. 8s can be polite/cordial, but in my experience there tends to be a certain forcefulness or at least expectation. A healthy 8 is more likely to assume they will be read.

Similarly, you indicate that expressing that anger directly is something you’ve moved away from. 8s don’t - they learn perhaps to express it more respectfully (it is true that constant explosive anger is extremely unhealthy and that a lot of 8 descriptions are really hyperbolic) but healthy 8s don’t feel bad about being angry and find value in that expression, in addition to fixing the problem.

With that said I don’t get the sense you feel bad about angry outbursts necessarily, which is pretty common in 1s, and the morality seems outward focused: this doesn’t feel like a fear of “what if I am corrupt” but rather a more 6-like focus of defense and fighting for a belief.

You do mention extreme loyalty to those you are close to, and the wariness of a cp6 but the inherent 6 need for support systems - and willingness to be a pillar within that support system speaks to that.

The one thing that does still speak to 8 is the need for equality, and so I would look into what that ultimate fear is: is it a fear of being dominated or controlled in general (8), or is it a mistrust of those who have been in control over you and who did not provide you with the beneficial guidance and support they should have (6)?

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[rvnjun]

should've known | lee jeno

genre: super power au! angst  warnings: graphic death scene, blood, and obvi death a/n: im proud of this one but it made me want to go back and rewrite parts of haechan and jaemins fic :\

The Dream Team M.List

jeno wasn't born with his powers which caused he a lot of damage

he had to learn to adapt to life with them, had to suffer the unexpected consequences of suddenly having powers 

12 years old, his parents were cooking dinner while he played video games

it was a new game so he was still in the midst of creating his character and choosing his weapon 

luckily he had his homework done so he had extra time to decide and play

unluckily he was planning them at the wrong time

a lab was doing experiments on a person with creation powers nearby

the lab surged with power, sending waves of electricity straight to jenos game

his body jolted and erupted with electric shock, the weapons on the game manifesting themselves into his head 

screaming in pain weapons began to spread around the room, all the weapons on his game taking form in real life

his parents were so scared, they rushed him to the hospital, weapons piling in the car

he was treated for electrical burns and introduced to a power therapist who he would end up spending most of his days with 

they didnt want jeno, they didnt want a freak of a son

the power therapist took care of him and made him feel semi normal

he had to transfer schools because he got kicked out of his old one

as unfair as it seemed, they had a right to kick him out

unable to fully control his powers still he was constantly making weapons appear at random times

which put the kids and teachers around him in danger

he spent a few months which his power specialist working on school work

before he finally had his powers under control to the point he could choose when to summon a weapon

and that moment was when his power specialist changed his life once more

he sat him down and looked jeno in the eyes “Jeno you have a gift, not many people have the ability to do what you can do. now what you choose to do with it is up to you. in the meantime i know some kids I think you'd get along with well.”

haechan and jaemin, two other kids with powers 

they were funny and talkative, he got along with them easily

and most importantly, they never judged him for his powers

they thought they were amazing

jeno had always seen his powers as a curse, his own parents never looked at him the same 

but the specialist, haechan, and jamein all had the same look in their eyes

awe and curiosity

the three of them were close friends when they met renjun, a feisty chinese transfer student with drawing manifestation powers 

together the 4 of them started a team

despite how much his powers scared him, hearing the way haechan and renjun talked made him want to

besides, he knew that if something went wrong and they ended up urt, theyd always have jaemin there with his bright smile 

joining their future super team were chenle and jisung, both introduced to them by the power specialist 

together they formed The Dream Team

a super powered team of seemingly ordinary teenagers who did their best to stop crime and unlike most villains, use their powers for good

all they wanted was to help others and give the gifted a good name again

jeno felt like the past years of his life were a rollercoaster, full of so many ups and downs 

he was finally happy thanks to The Dream Team

for the first time in years he felt normal thanks to his friends

after years of pain jeno deserved it

that's when he met you and his life got even better

y/n l/n, another gifted 

jeno met you after a fight, The Dream Team was hugging each other on their job well done when you approached 

you'd been watching them the whole time without them knowing

curious by what they were doing and their powers you used your own to spy

if someone asked jeno what his first impression of you was it wouldn't be hard, he’d tell them that your powers suited you 

you were awkwardly, fumbling over your words as you tried to speak to them

it was hard for you to explain what you were trying to

after nearly 10 minutes of you trying to talk and haechan complaining you finally spit it out 

“i was watching you guys and i want to help you. now my powers might seem very useless to you guys but if you really think about it, i could be very helpful. i could make a great distraction!”

jeno wanted you to join right away but he knew the others wouldn't agree

haechan looked at everyone and spoke up “ well a) we don't even know what your powers are and b) this team kinda consists of friends and you dear person are a stranger who is nameless im assuming as you didn't even tell us your name,,if you have one ”

you immediately looked away at his words before stomping your foot on the ground and pouting 

“MY NAME IS Y/N L/N AND I CAN TURN INVISIBLE!” you yelled at the top of your lung startling everyone

obviously you went invisible and jeno freaked out

“no wait y/n don't go! we won't let you join right away but you can hang out with us to see how things go!” he hollard earning him looks from his friends

they could tell why jeno was so eager for you to join, the fool had fallen in love by simply staring at you 

the rest was history

you joined The Dream Team as their manager/assistant type of person, soon after you and jeno started dating, and of course you became friends with them all

jeno loved you, you were always there for him and putting a smile on his face

you both got shy from affection so you never did any in front of the boys but that didn't stop them from teasing you nonetheless

almost everyday you and jeno went to a cafe for drinks

“would you rather have your current powers or haechans power?”

youd ask making jeno laugh “i think id rather have mine because if I had haechans powers,,i might not have met my friends or most importantly,,you”

jeno and you were in love, both having rough pasts where neither of you were born with your powers and a freak accident caused them, and both of your parents abandoned you and you moved in with a close friend

which only made you guys closer

one of the things jeno loved about you the most was how caring you were during a fight, especially the particularly bad ones

like the time jenos nose was broken after getting smashed in the face with a cat figurine 

you pouted and told jeno you wished you were jaemin and could heal him with your smile

which caused jaemin to jokingly yell at you saying that healing smile was his thing and you needed to get your own brand 

today was one of those bad fights

the boys went in to fight what at first was only one villain but that one villain had a team they didn't know about

the boys were almost all separated 

renjun was drawing as fast as he could, his creations starting to look more and more like a 5 yr old drew them

the weather was close to a hurricane thanks to haechan 

jaemin was freaking out and smiling like a psychopath , without knowing who he was if you saw him you'd think he escaped from an insane asylum 

chenle and jisung were together, about to pass out from using so much power

it was going bad but it got even worse when jeno got separated from the rest

trapped in a room with one of the bad guys he felt his panic arrise 

‘i dont have time for this,’ he thought, images of his friends struggling flashing in his head

the guy lunged forward and hit jeno with a good blow, blood splattering on the wall

jeno felt his panic be replaced with anger

he was practically shaking from his irritated he was

“i know about you and your team, i know who you really are. you're a bunch of highschool kids, did you really think you could beat us?” the asshole spoke 

jeno stared up at him as he added one “i know you're dating that freaky bitch that goes invisible to distract us.”

the smirk on the guys face made jeno feel disgusted

hearing the words he spoke not only about his friends but you sent him over the edge

you were the guys that saved jeno

“where is that bitch anyway? arent they normally he-” he didn't get to finish his sentence

swords appeared in the air, piercing through the air at rapid speed

the man was stabbed multiple times

he gurgled up his own blood, coughing in pain as he fell onto the floor

“fucking bitch,” he said while clutching his chest in pain

jeno was about to leave when he heard a horrible sound

“je,,,jeno,” a disturbed sweet honey-like voice coughed out 

his stomach dropped and his heart felt heavy 

“y,,,y/n?” he turned around, tears already pouring down his face

your ribs had been broken like twigs, gashes oozed with that desparible red liquid, your mouth was hanging slightly open as more of the liquid steadily poured out

your face began to pale, your eyes already looked lifeless

falling against the wall you slid down, a trail of blood being left behind from where your back was placed

“I just wanted to help,” your voice was barely above a whisper, you sounded so broken

“y/n!!” jeno screamed almost as loud as chenle 

running to you his knee betrayed him and gave out inches form your body

“oh my god,,what have i done,” he involuntarily sobbed, body shaking from screams 

warm tears flowed down his cheeks like a waterfall, leaving behind a wet trail of despair 

“no no no,,oh my god,, JAEMIN!!!!” he screamed for his friend to come save you

if you saw his smile, if you saw Jaemin you would be fine like it never happened

only a few seconds had passed but jeno was screaming out begging for jaemin to hear him and come

getting closer to your body, jeno wrapped his arms around and held you

not caring about the copious amounts of blood covering his clothes

“you'll be okay y/n, jaemin is gonna save you,” he didn't sound sure, it was as if he was convincing himself instead of you

you never spoke or moved, all you did was stare at jeno

rising slowly, you painfully and involuntarily took in more breaths

your lungs, it felt as if they were being ripped apart from the inside, only filling with more blood 

“i,,i just wanted to help,” you barely managed to get out before your breathing stopped entirely and head falling onto jenos shoulder

his mind, blanked of everything 

every thought, every memory, everything was gone

everything except one thing, you

your image burned in his head

the wind was knocked out of him, his while body felt numb, he couldn't breathe

he knew he was breathing but he kept choking 

the tears blurred his vision as they rapidly fell

he felt so hopeless, he,,he killed you

he should've known you were in the room with him, like you'd ever let him get separated from everyone

you always came to the fights as a backup or distraction

“I should've known,” he cried

jaemin,,he wanted to be mad at him, he wanted to scream and hit him, make him suffer the way you did but he couldn't

jaemin was busy, probably exhausted form smiling and using his powers

the door to the room creaked open

jeno assumed it was his friends, if not it was the villains and that meant everyone except him was dead

“oh my god jeno what happened,” renjun spoke, rushing to jenos side

jisung stared with his mouth hung open, wondering how he never knew this would happen, he gripping tightly on chenles arm

chenle let out a ear piercing yelp as he leaned closer to jisung

haechan stared at your lifeless body, rain starting to pour matching his tears

jaemins heart stopped when he saw the damage, knowing that he could've saved you

“y/n,,y/n,” jaemin cried while smiling at you praying that it would work

the tension in the room only grew as each other second past

 each member of the team morning in their own way for their fallen 

y/n l/n the “nameless’ stranger who approached them with wishes to be one of them, y/n l/n the loveable person who lit up jenos dark world more than is friends ever could, y/n l/n the mysterious invisible member of the dream team who just wanted to help

[ddonggeun]

Hey! So I’m suspecting if I got adhd/add but is there any symptom idk. It’s really exp here to get it diagnosed

sorry it took me a while to get back to you because honestly i dont know whats a good alternative for you can be so i guess i can share my own experience? 

first of all i think googling symptoms and types of adhd and reading peoples account on how adhd/add manifest is a good start? my doctor and the reddit /r/adhd REALLY help me to accept myself (which is the first step i think) but the way i get diagnosis (i am adhd with predominately inattentiveness - but at the same time i have depressions and dyslexia which is like a killer combo 10/10 would never rec) is that i came across with an article a couple months about how girls with adhd are more likely to be (mis)diagnosed with depression and it basically fucks up multiple generations because they cant get the help they need and i was like wait whats describe in it sounds kind of like me but at the same time i have always been very lethargic and rather well behaved in class growing up i am nothing like what you would typically associate with adhd (you know the hyper-activeness) so during my next visit to the doctor (im getting treatment for my depression) i mention to the article to her and she said wait you know what describe how you feel in a classroom setting growing up and is there anything you do that teachers complain about repeatedly and tell me how studying and doing homework is like to you and so i did (i can go further into details of my life since a lot contributes to why i only get diagnosis when im 21… let me know if you would like to know i guess?)

my doctor (who just so happens to be an adhd specialist and is quite active in the research area i didnt know before then we stan forever i love her really she is so encouraging and so good at her job) took some notes as i was talking and after im done she said you know what i think you might be onto something but i cant be sure yet (since i have depression and dyslexia which both overlaps quite a lot with adhd/add) why dont i first explain to you what adhd is and i’ll give you the set of official diagnosis questions you dont have to do it just take a look at it first do some research organize your thought talk to your parents about it and if you think getting a test on it is something you want we can set up another appointment and we can go from there - which is really really nice because adhd has always been a taboo at least with my upbringing it makes you a loser socially academically and you know just in general its not something you will want to have…. 

in hind sight there are SO MANY SIGNS even in early childhood how come no one notice i dont know prolly because i grew up in the 00s if you are different you need to kys lmao rip: 

trouble paying attention in school or work,

the appearance of not listening - although im an audio learner funny enough

avoidance of activities that require sustained focus,

being easily distracted 

restlessness

fidgeting and cant sit properly - i shake my legs or click my pen so much especially when im thinking or anxious lmao, i got into trouble a lot when i was younger because i only sit in my seat facnig the teacher 5 mins max at at ime then i move around or i move the chair around i think better when i cross my legs but i went to a uniform school and i always make my skirt too short so you know

interrupting - if i dont say what comes to mind when it comes to mind, the thought is gone forever

frequent talking and talking way too fast - i get the exact same comment every single report day class from when i was 4 till i graduated high school im not even kidding “she has excellent comprehension skill and reading speed. it would be great if parents can help her out a bit in maths or chemistry.  she has a lot of potential if she applies herself, she seems distracted although when we ask her questions she can answer. very helpful and bubbly and yet she talks too much in class. she is not disruptive and her seatmate never complains but she just doesnt stop talking. we have been pairing her up with quiet students in class in the hopes that she will talk less in class but she just turn the quiet student talkative”

trying to do multiple things at once - i cant do one thing at a time, even when im say writing a paper i need to be listening to music or talking to someone if not switching between tabs or word files

mood swings

hyperfocus - oh boy oh boy oh boy

impulsiveness - i dont know if i get better as i age or is it getting worse i just know how to clean up my mess lmaooooo

poor time management - although i would say ever since i start listening to stuff 24/7 it really helps build a sense of the passage of time or whatever? its like now i know ok by the time i get to the third song in the shower i need to be washing out my conditioner; or say i need to go somewhere in 40 mins which is really abstract to me i set timers and put on a show thats 35ish mins even tho im not watching it just so im aware of time is actually happening if it makes sense

fail to follow through - i start things and once i have it figure out in my head i struggle to put it down in words or explain it to others i work well with other adhd peps tho

doesnt follow instruction and only do stuff their way

burnout - this is the worst especially if you are a perfectionist or a control freak and guess who is both 

trouble coping with stress - 

i luck out because im canadian and my doctor (in my schools clinic) just so happens to be a specialist who is very passionate about helping undergrads and grad school students to achieve as much as they can - so doctor and diagnosis for me is free. i do have to pay for my medications out of my pocket for a bit since im on vyvanse (to treat both my adhd and depression-lead anxiety its complicated but it makes sense when my doctor explained it to me lol) and this drug isnt covered by Pharmacare (CAD $130ish for 3 weeks worth of 30mg, im mostly on 30mg but on days when i dont have work on stuff or go to school i take 20mg just so my anxiety dont cause me to explode lmao) and very expensive but recently my doctor and i have agreed that vyvanse really work for me and it is something that i should be on daily for the foreseeable future we applied for special authorization which means i only gotta pay the tax… of course medicating isnt a must but it is what works for me and we figure out a way to make it affordable so i cant be more happy about that

at the same time i work with my psychiatrist to you know configure the whole adhd thing cause you know 21 years of repressing and forcing your feet into a shoes that not even your size frick you up thats something people dont tell you 🤷🏻‍♀️

what my doctor said to me then stuck with me - she told me adhd or add really is no monster or flaw in fact it is a very valuable set of traits we inherit from our ancestor - we hate it now because modern society render these skills useless well you see adhd isnt all about the hyperactiveness you see in the media people with adhd are extra sensitive to their surrounding and prefer hands on experiences (today we call them distracted) they are always aware of the change around them and is capable to attend to a couple things at a time and act fast because their brains are always making sense of things even when they arent consciously doing it. in todays society we dont want these kind of people why? because they ask questions they are curious people who notice trivial stuff that dont contribute to productivity they cant sit still which makes them not the ideal factor workers or pupils BUT! you have to remember that industrialization started like a century ish ago before that our ancestors live in predominately tribal society - adhd people then are the perfect caretakers and protectors, why? because they are always noticing things they adapt and react fast… so yeah it kinda suck for us growing up in a system thats designed to be everything we are and it is something that need to be changed but for those of us who “made it out alive” especially people who only get diagnosed in adulthood more often than not they look back and realize they have developed so many incredible ways to cope to make things work - are they always the perfect way? are they always health? no definitely no but at the same time it shows you how incredible these people are they make things work yes things are really hard sometimes but you got to give yourself a pet in the shoulder for not giving up… with the help of science and research we now know a little more about how adhd affect people we now have medication and programs developed to help people with adhd - they arent to dumb you down or numb you but instead it helps you to focus better so you can actually hear your entire thought and not just phrases or sentence fragments

[therealestatesparkblog]

The Elephant in the Room: Where Are All the Real Estate Notes!?

When BiggerPockets first reached out to me about two years ago to write a book on note investing, the note market wasnt like it is today. In fact, the economy wasnt like it is today. We werent quite in an upmarket yet, though signs of an upswing were rapidly approaching (growing construction starts, less foreclosures, etc.). And at the time, my company (then in its eighth year) was still going strong as a note seller. Selling notes, along with loss mitigation, was the core of our business (mainly second liens, but also some firsts as well). I had also been blogging for more than three years about real estate, and in my posts I had been consistently recommending one of my favorite niches to everyonenotes! Now, lets fast forward to today. Our business has grown, and we now favor first liens to second liens. Ive tried to expand my blogging to cover more than just notes by including all types of real estate investing. Oh, and the book is completedand were officially a month away from launching! I suppose we can also probably all agree, a lot in the world has changed since even 2016! Were in a different place than we were two years agoin more ways than one. But were also in a different market than the one we once knew. And this revelation, like most things, is something that only dawned on me quite recently. Around the beginning of the year, a forum post in the Tax Liens, Notes, Paper & Cashflow Discussion Forum caught my eye. The majority of responses, including my own, probably sum up the answer to the question posed by this article. But lets expand on that. The original poster was someone relatively new to the institutional note industry. His general feeling, in his words, was that it seemed like there was less inventory and more people chasing it. Now, this was something I kept hearing over and over again from note buyers and investors, and I wanted to give my take. Related:The Top 5 Resources to Educate Yourself on Real Estate Note Investing In this current market, is their room for new investors to get started in the note space? I think thats the real question people are after here. Looking back at the forum, my answer was this: My company and I entered the space in an upmarket as well; the only difference being it was really just a matter of months before one of the biggest economic crashes ever. Fortunately, we were able to build and eventually thrive as a second-lien business in a down market because of that. The irony is, weve now grown enough in the time since the pendulum has swung the other way: weve bought more first- and second-lien product this year than the past few years combined. The rub to the retail institutional note buyer is, weve also sold less than ever. What youre describing when you talk about what you see right now is really just a factor of the marketplace. What do I mean by that? In some ways, its a simple supply-and-demand equation. With employment at an all time low, and the lack of underwriting for junior liens, its only natural to see a dip in supply of that particular type of product. But surely there is still product out there, right? Right. And the closer you get to the top of the chain of product, you see the same large funds, banks, and servicers. So why dont more assets trickle down? The answer again, lies in the characteristics of an upmarket. With notes being in direct correlation with property values, notes are worth more and more as the real estate market continues to rise. So of course these outfits are going to hold onto their product if it increases the value of their portfolio. But theres more to it than just money. So going back to my question in this post: on the institutional side, theres not much advantage to sell to the retail buyer for a variety of reasons. For example, many institutional funds can make more money either holding notes that are appreciating in value or selling notes in bulk to another bank where they can get things like NSO credits. Its not only about the money, but also the risk with compliance being what it is. Imagine you were a bankwhat would you do? Would you sell to a guy off the street who you didnt know from Adam? Or would you choose to hold assets that are gaining value and only sell in bulk to other reputable funds, non-profits, and banks that can purchase product in bulk from you? And these larger outfits that have the ability to purchase in bulk, they could obtain what are known as NSO (Neighborhood Stabilization Outcome) Credits, which could allow them to continue to qualify to purchase directly from government entities. I know, I know, youre not the bank. And hey, Im not either! But its important to put these things into perspective. People often ask me, Why arent you selling as many notes today? And like I said in my forum post, my new favorite reply is, Where were you five years ago? We sold everything we had! If youre going to buy in 2018 like you would in 2013, youre going to struggle to get the same type of product with higher prices, higher demand, and lower supply. Of course, there will always be some sort of institutional product out thereits just a matter of how much and when. But you cant just sit on your hands while you wait. Theres only one thing you can do in times like these, and thats adapt.

Listen to the Market To the point in my forum post, notes will never go away. In times like these, it goes to show how much the institutional note market is capital intensive and all about relationships. Theres still product out there to findwhether its different from the product youre accustomed to buying (or even if it requires you to buy it in new ways). For example, partnering with others to take down larger trades in order to cherry pick the assets youre looking for while selling off the rest. Keep in mind the note business isnt just limited to the institutional space. What I tried to express in my book, above all else, is that the note space is versatile, vast, and full of possibilities. As with any investment, you cant tell the market what you want it to do for you. You have to listen to the market and adapt to it. And the good news is you have options. Heres an Example Now what Im going to tell you next is a short little story that is one of my favorites about doing just that. I often tell investors this story when I speak. I tell it in the book (albeit in a different way), and Im going to tell it again here by quoting my post. Obviously I love this story! And I think by the end of it youll see why: Ive told this story before, and Ill probably tell it again. But around the time of the crash, I had a friend who didnt know what to do. He was struggling financially. His then-current buy-and-hold business model was no longer working. He just couldnt get much financing. So instead of remaining despondent, he decided to take a banker to lunch. What he was really doing wasnt, Hey, I have _____, will you lend me money on it? Instead, he took the approach of asking, What is it youre looking for? What is your bankor other banks you know oflending on? The banker responded: student housing and commercial multifamily. So my friend goes, Okay, and he began to adapt. He started by pounding the pavement for apartment and student-housing deals, reaching out to his network, and building his team. Pretty soon, he was raising private money for student-housing rentals and finding the remainder of traditional financing he needed pretty easily. That was 10 years ago. He now owns over $100 million in student- and commercial real estate, and makes a pretty penny in his salary raising capital as well. Lets take a lesson from my friend and go from there. With market time being quicker than ever, were switching back to a sellers market. The good news for us note investors whove been working for years in the business is that our portfolio valuation has never been higher! Even in my own personal portfolio, the notes I own are worth more than ever. Im getting cashed out more often (with more people refinancing as they gain equity in their homes). But the flip side isI still have to look for places to put my capital with fewer notes in the marketplace. Related:7 Common Challenges Real Estate Note Investors Face So what do I do? As I see the interest rates going up on my properties, Im starting to do something I was never a fan of in a down market: Im paying some mortgages down. Sometimes the best mortgage notes are the ones you already have. This is why I also just did 4 modifications from adjustable to fixed. I try not to limit myself to any one part of the industry. And I dont want you to either! Hopefully my upcoming book (and series of articles) will help illuminate new ways to look at your real estate and note investing strategies to create profitability from a new angle. So whether its using unsecured notes to buy properties, taking over a note (via subject-to), or partnering notes with commercial real estate, the skys the limit! Dont Follow the Herd, Lead It Way back when, when we were starting our note business and the market crashed, we were in quite the predicament. My partners and I couldve tried to continue on like nothing had changed, but we chose to really dive head first into distressed, upside-down second mortgages. And people thought we were nuts! But hey, Im glad we didnt listen to them. Were still here, and were bigger than ever after years of forging our own path. And with the creative strategies in my writing to come, I want to help you do the same. So if you cant find a performing note, create one with seller financing or hard money lending. If you cant find a NPN? Work in P2P Lending. Or better yet, dont listen to me. Do whatever the market is telling you.

What do you think? Share your own opinions in the comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/where-are-all-the-notes-the-elephant-in-the-room/

[luc4ri0]

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

what the FUCK is wrong with my family these past few months,its like they are trying to piss me off on purpose ffs.

like,first they started picking up the toolbox from my room,fair enough,they needed it,but then they started SCATTERING THE TOOLS EVERY FUCKING WHERE IN THE HOUSE,AND THEN MY MOM STARTS GETTING MAD AT ME BECAUSE SHE CANT FIND ANY OF THE TOOLS BECAUSE THEY ARENT WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. AND THEN THEY FUCKING START TO BUY ALL THESE AMAZING FOOD AND DRINKS THAT I LOVE TO DEATH,AND DONT LEAVE A SINGLE CRUMBLE FOR ME,HELL,THEY DONT EVEN TELL ME THEY BOUGHT IT,AND HAVE THE FUCKING GUTS TO SAY “oh sorry,we thought you already eat some”,WHICH,SURE,MIGHT BE A GOOD EXCUSE THE FIRST TIME,BUT THEY KEEP FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND FUCKING AGAIN. YOU’D THINK AFTER 4 OR 5 TIMES THEY WOULD LEARN TO FUCKING ASK ME IF I ALREADY EAT SOME OF IT BEFORE FINISHING IT OFF. I EVEN FUCKING STOPPED EATING ALL THE TREATS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE I FELT GUILTY FOR FINISHING THEM OFF WHILE EVERYONE SLEPT????????? AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME,ITS NOT LIKE I LOVE ICE CREAM,NOOOO,ITS NOT LIKE CHERRIES ARE MY FAVORITE FRUIT,NAH NO PROBLEM,ITS NOT LIKE NUTELLA IS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A HUMAN SOUL AND IVENT EAT SOME IN THE LAST COUPLE OF FUCKING YEARS. SURE,NO FUCKING PROBLEM,NOT MAD AT ALL,NOOOO,WHY WOULD I BE,I HAVE THE BEST LIFE EVER,WE ARE CLEARLY STRUGGLING TO BUY FOOD EVERY MONTH,I DONT NEED THE LUXURIES OF EATING ONE SINGLE EXPENSIVE TREAT,NAH,GO AHEAD,EAT ALL OF IT,IVENT TRIED TO BUILT THIS FAMILY INTO AN EQUAL GROUND FOR 5 PEOPLE,I DONT EVEN PUT MONEY INTO THIS HOUSE,IM JUST AN USELESS PIECE OF SHIT WHO ONLY TRIES TO MAKE EVERYTHING ORGANIZED AND FAIR FOR EACH ONE OF US,BUT THATS NOT MONEY OR A SCHOOL DIPLOMA,SO OBVIOUSLY IT DOESNT COUNT,SO IM STILL THE PIECE OF SHIT MOOCHER THAT DOESNT DO ANYTHING ALL DAY,HELL WHY WOULD WE EVEN NEED ME TO TAKE THE KIDS TO AND FROM SCHOOL,WE TOTALLY HAVE MILLIONS OF BUCKS TO SPEND ON MONTHLY SCHOOL BUSES AND BABYSITTERS RIGHT? IM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY USELESS AND DONT MAKE A SINGLE DIFFERENCE IN THIS HOUSE UNTIL I BRING MONEY TO THE TABLE OR STUDY ENOUGH TO BRING MONEY TO THE TABLE,ITS ALL ABOUT FUCKING MONEY AINT IT

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!

and you know whats worse? they are gonna come home,give the same excuse and move on like its no issue at all,my mom gets all bothered and worried if i leave a suicide note and run away from home,but when im full of cuts and rope marks,unless im not dead in the next morning,nothing is wrong at all.

to my mom its always 1 or 100,no in between,youre either dying or youre completely fine,nah,i totally stopped taking my meds and stopped going to the psychiatrist regularly because i “lost interest” and “got better”,its not like im falling into an infinite abyss of self hatred planning the easiest 100% fool proof way to kill myself every night for the past 3 years. yea,im totally just being super lazy and not handling the paperwork to enter college because its too much work,why would it be because im insecure about even being able to enter college? why would it be because i have no emotional support to tell me i can grow up? nah,its totally an age thing,as soon as you turn 18 youre automatically the most well functioning and confident person in the face of the earth,its how humans work of course! im clearly just being lazy because getting out of bed is too much work. right my dear and loving mother? depression and suicidal thoughts are clearly a disease that can be overcome from sheer force of will and half a month of taking medication,right mom???

i fucking hate everything. i hate my family,i hate my body,i hate my voice,i hate my thoughts,i hate my personality,i hate my fucking life. and people still DARE to question why someone that lives in a wealthy family that gets around 5k per month in salary would ever complain about their lives. because CLEARLY,as long as you have enough money to sustain a healthy life,ITS AUTOMATIC HAPPINESS,right??????????????????????