#and i dont know if i would trust myself to get up right now and go through the house to find my phone anyway

[nomairuins]

whining hours . sry

[mental-skillness]

it would explain so much

[fardf150]

fuck

[yelloworangesoda]

i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing

[ace-with--a-mace]

im so scared im gonna throw up

[cloudcountry]

since you guys liked my idea so much here it is: WAYS THE NRC BOYS WOULD MAKE YOU WORSE

reader's personality is based more off of in-game yuu than anything? this set of hcs is a bunch of hypotheticals basically. this can be read as platonic or romantic idk each guy is written as if they are the closest person to you, friends or otherwise.

IF YOU SEE A TYPO NO YOU DONT

mentally preparing myself for the "i wouldnt do that!!!!!" comments...and post.

Riddle increases your attentiveness to the rules tenfold. No matter how meek you are, he makes your voice strong—and oh boy does it carry. You’re yelling at people for running in the halls, chastising them for not doing their homework, and opening your mouth wider when you speak. For a school full of troublemakers like Night Raven, the entire student body is so disappointed there’s another Riddle.

Trey makes you more passive, less likely to speak up when you see something. He’s always stood back in the shadows, watching over everything without saying a word, and it’s seeped into your personality, too. You’re spineless now. This world is unfamiliar, why should you try to do anything? You’d only stand out. You don’t want to be outstanding. You want to be as normal as possible. So you stand back.

Cater gets you wrapped up in the hype of social media. It started out as a way to indulge his interests but now you’re on Magicam all day, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. You send things to your friends and say “hey, we should do this” but never make any actual effort to connect with them outside of that. You fall easier into jealousy because you’re surrounded by glamor.

Deuce makes you reckless. He’s so willing to throw himself into things and it spurs you to do the same, no matter how many times your teachers or potential upperclassmen tell you not to. You can’t hear anything but Deuce and his yelling, his enthusiasm and terror for whichever situation you two find yourselves in, knowing that you’d follow him anywhere.

Ace makes you all the more prickly, your sharp jabs and irritating smugness a product of spending too much time with him. You two are two peas in a pod, but to an outsider you two just seem...irritating. You have a talent for getting under people’s skin and have definitely gotten better at lying.

Leona thinks its so cute how you try to defend him at every twist and turn. Like no, he is as dastardly as everyone is saying. Why are you trying to deny it? You’re suddenly seeing reason in the most massive ego-ed people this side of Sage Island and Leona honestly doesn’t know if he should be concerned for you or be amused because of you. (This one in particular was inspired by @loser-jpg LMAO)

Ruggie could have made you prioritize yourself more, but you think he took it a bit too far. See, now you’re snatching cafeteria items and worksheets right under people’s noses, giggling as they demand you give it back. Sometimes they don’t even notice you, but even if they did you’ve learned how to be lighter on your feet.

Jack and you are incredibly uncooperative people (unless you owe someone, of course.) He’s guided you away from asking for help, insisting that the people here will take advantage of you then turning around to say that he doesn’t care, he just doesn't want to get wrapped up in your mess. It’s like you can’t trust anyone but him and your Heartslabyul friends anymore.

Azul has given you one nasty sense of perception, allowing you to key into every little detail and find loopholes in the things people say in a second. He’s turned you into a deadly asset, one he treasures just as much as the student body fears. You read over his contracts and point out what you would do to get out of them, and he adjusts accordingly. What a fine team you two make!

Jade makes it clear that his morals are less than savory, and will often encourage you to partake in things you really shouldn't. You rationalize it as Jade helping you go after the things you want, to finally take and take and take from people when you’ve been so selfless all your life, because it's what you deserve isn’t it?

Floyd will often rope you into his schemes, and it's not wrong before you start doing the same. Once a model student, attending every class, you now skip class and watch with amusement as Floyd threatens another student, hiding your smile behind your hand. They may plead for your assistance, but who are you to stop Floyd? This poor soul clearly owed something.

Kalim instills you with a sense of jealousy and helplessness. He has money to solve all of his problems, his life must be so easy. You’ve lived through so many overblots and received no help from anyone, but Kalim has always been so kind and generous to you. It makes you resent him a little, and anyone else who tries to help, because they all have things that you don’t and that's just not fair.

Jamil twists and bends your mind so much that you can do the very same thing to others. You’ve caught onto his little game and he knows it, eyeing you with anticipation whenever you speak in the same honeyed tone he uses when he wants something. You’ve gotten scarily good at hiding it too, shooting him a smug grin because you know he knows, but nobody else does.

Vil brings out so much confidence in your abilities it’s borderline arrogance. You know you’re capable, so why doesn’t everyone just let you handle this? You can do it, they can’t. So they should just step aside. You’re not doing it to be mean, so why are they getting so annoyed at you? You’re just better.

Rook has some eccentricities, and you’re well aware of them. They put you off at first, but now you’re used to him. It just seems normal now. You’re not sure why everyone makes such a big deal out of his tendencies, that’s just how he is. He’ll stalk you, hunt you down, but he’s having fun! Don’t spoil it for him!

Epel is actually the perfect fit for NRC, you think. He’s a troublemaker, he’s stubborn, and he’s so, so angry. But he’s right! Why should you respect people who claim to be above you? It’s so irritating that they walk around with those annoying smirks on their faces. You two should do something about that, don’t you think?

Idia has a very specific way of talking that can not only be confusing, but can also irritate the hell out of people. Of all things you could pick up from him, you picked up his smug jabs and insults, accompanied by a tooth grin and a laugh. It’s unnerving how much he’s rubbed off on you, a true testament to how close you too are much to the chagrin of the rest of NRC.

Malleus finds so much delight in being your bodyguard, your most trusted companion, that he doesn’t even bat an eye when you use his magic for your own gain. You’ve gotten soft, molding to whatever shape Malleus wants you to be just so he won’t leave. You’re helpless without him, only he has the will and the magic to protect you. So won’t he please stay?

Lilia has a way of dodging the truth, putting a smile on his face even when he’s hurting. It makes you think that, if he can do that, why can’t you? Lilia is smart, he knows how to go about life, so you should follow his lead and bury your problems until they’ll never see the light again.

Sebek has done nothing but berate you for being human since you met him, and even if you’ve gotten closer to him over the course of your stay in Twisted Wonderland, you’re starting to think he’s right. If you had magic, if you weren’t human, you’d be more powerful. It’s a fact. You could do so much more if you weren’t so weak.

Silver has made you complacent. He takes each step carefully, protecting both you and Malleus, so why would you need to protect yourself in any capacity? It’s so nice, having this safety net. If you could, you'd rely on Silver forever, never facing the cruel realities of the world that are blocked by his strong arms.

[bsdawgz]

「 ✦ Perverted ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Osamu Dazai

... NOW PLAYING ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| Perverted by Elita ...

a/n: it has been so long i'm sorry for disappearing </3 I LOVE YOU ALL THANK U FOR CONTINUING TO SUPPORT ME, new and old followers ILY. SPECIAL THX TO @amo-bsd, @little-miss-chaoss, @starrs20 THEY R THE BEST. also idk if this fic is ur thing cuz its dark content so u dont have to read it but i tagged y'all bc everyone who comes across this post SHOULD FOLLOW U BC UR THE BEST

content: f! pm! reader. MDNI! dark content + nasty! knifeplay. knifeplay is consensual, BUT keep in mind that unequal power dynamics are still at play because dazai is an executive and f!reader is a subordinate. (aka if this were real life this is not consensual)

++ blowjob (incl. facefucking). degradation and name-calling ("slut"), praise and pet names (i actually used bella LOL). dazai is possessive. like he actually treats you like a possession KEEP THAT IN MIND B4 READING

Dazai has always been calculating and cruel. Perhaps it was one of the things that drew you to him the most, as twisted as it were, knowing that these bloodied hands could sometimes hold you so tenderly, and that you of all people were the one he chose to see him naked at the end of the night. You took some sort of pride in it, in the fact Port Mafia's youngest executive had chosen you as his personal plaything, out of all the women that could easily fall into his arms.

His room is dark, ceilings tall, his face shrouded by velvet curtains that cast a shadow over you like a gaping mouth. His desk is stacked with papers, neatly organized in a pile, but there are painkillers and used-up bandages sprawled across the floor beneath it. Dazai is in the corner, staring down disdainfully at the broken city that is Yokohama. He doesn't greet you when you enter. Rather, he looks down at you condescendingly. "You were reckless today. You're lucky Akutagawa was there to save you, or you would have been killed."

"I'm sorry," is all you can say. As his subordinate and, for lack of a better term, his lover, you never know which Dazai you're about to face. Your apology is well-received, a grin forming on his lips as you bow your head. You're always so quick to submit to him. He's used to it, being an executive and all, but it feels especially good coming from you.

"Yeah?" His voice is a low hum now, seductive and rogue. He comes closer, then you feel his thumb graze your chin, then he forces you to gaze into the empty void of his dark eyes. You stare, captured by the intense nothingness behind them that threatens to swallow you whole, gulping as you realize that in those moments of enchantment, those slender fingers of his have crawled along the sides of your neck. He leans in, and you can feel his lips tracing along your collarbone. "How are you gonna make it up to me?"

Your knees are weak; you're always falling right into his hands this way. He guides you to the dresser, hands on your hips, then presses his body against yours from behind, fingers toying with the hem of your blouse. "How about I kill you right here, myself?" you hear him whisper in your ear, breath warm against your skin. Then, you feel cold metal pressed against your neck. "Would you let me do that to you?"

You catch a glimpse of silver, gleaming with the reflection of the city lights as Dazai runs a blade along a vein.

Trusting a man like Dazai can be such a fatal flaw – ...

... but he must be using the dull edge for a reason... right?

"I would let you do anything to me," you reply. You hear him sigh, almost disappointed by your courteous response. He lets go of you immediately and scoffs, tucking the knife back into his pocket.

"You always know what to say," he mutters, as if irritated by your predictability – but you know that it means he's pleased. You’re loyal to him. You always have been.

Then, as if on cue, you turn to face him, getting on your knees in front of him.

"Oh," he muses, entertained. "So, you're gonna use your pretty mouth to make it up to me instead?"

– but of course.

You're eager to please him, hands fumbling for the zipper of his slacks. He grins at how desperate you seem to touch him, petting your head as you bury your face into his hardness. You trace him through his boxers, marvel at the way it grows with your touch. This is the way you command him – the way you bring to his knees while you're on yours. You feel him shudder as your lips caress him, feel wetness seep through his boxers against your cheek as you mold against him.

In this moment, the most dangerous man in Yokohama is yours and yours alone.

"Get on with it," he mumbles lazily, stroking your cheek gently. You're staring up at him admiringly, watching the way his breath catches in his throat as you tease him.

He's gorgeous when he’s weak for you, gazing back down at you with half-lidded eyes, waiting on you to make him feel something. He's the desperate one now, you think to yourself. It’s as if he’s begging,

'Give it to me.'

You'll give it to him – you'll give it to him over and over.

Maybe it's perverted, but it makes you feel good inside, knowing you're needed by him like this.

So, you strip him slowly, kissing along his firm abdomen and thighs as you peel the boxers down his legs. He's impatient, hands trembling as you reach for him and run your fingers slowly along his length. His reactions are all the praise you need – he sighs softly into your touch when you finally wet the tip with your tongue, then you feel him fade into you. You taste the salt that drips so bitterly on your lips, swirl the precum in your mouth and let it melt against your saliva. "You're good at that," he whispers, and you feel yourself grow wet between the legs at his words.

Then, you take him. Slowly, at first – stroking him with your pretty hands while you lick the vein that runs along the underside, then slide him down your throat. You feel his grip tighten on your hair, then hear him make a stifled sound. When you look up, he's staring down at you in amazement, lips parted so slightly as you do your best not to choke on him... If only he looked at you like this all the time, you can't help but think to yourself shamefully.

It's too cruel to continue these sort of thoughts, so you force yourself to take him deeper... You shove him into your mouth until your vision blurs, until you gag on him, until saliva dribbles down your chin. He matches your pace, burying himself into your throat until you choke on his length, until you're tearing up and your vision is blurred. Then, you hear him laugh condescendingly. "This why you were so reckless today?" he asks you roughly, eyes darkening as he peers down at you. His fingers ravage your hair, his nails digging into your scalp as he pushes your head down. "You like it just like this, don't you?"

And maybe he’s right – he has you throwing your life away in this wretched mafia… and for what? He has you following him around like a dog… and to what end?

When you're forced to look up at him with your mouth stuffed full of him, it's almost as if there's no trace of a humanity left in him. There’s nothing in those wild eyes, scornful and resenting. There's some twisted grin on his face, something sadistic and perverse you've only seen a few times before, in the moments before he’s stolen someone’s life. "You act so fucking innocent, but look at you taking me like a damn slut. Do you do this for the others? Tell me..."

You can hardly breathe now, cheeks swollen and red, jaw aching, but you know he expects a response, so you shake your head frantically. No, of course not, you'd never give it to anyone else but him. Never, ever – but he doesn't relent, looking down at you demeaningly with that same sick look on his face. "Yeah? I've seen the way you look at Chūya. You wanna fuck him too, don't you?"

This time, when you open your eyes, the knife is right against your throat – the sharp edge almost tracing along your skin. Would you bleed for this man? Would you die for this man? Wouldn’t he like to know…

You shake your head as if to say, 'Only you... only ever you.' Then, you claw at his legs, pushing him away to tell him enough...

– and he withdraws immediately, shoving you off of him and leaving you coughing and gasping for air on the cold, wooden floor. "I would have killed you if you said yes, you know," he says, point blank. "You're mine alone."

This time, you're not quite sure if he means what he says – or what he means as laughs mirthlessly as you pull yourself together. But in a playful tone, he adds, "But of course, I knew from the start that you'd say no."

Then, you feel it –

His embrace. Gentle. Endearing. Fond.

His soft, tangled bangs fall against your shoulder as he pulls you into his chest.

It’s like he’s become a different person again.

“Come here, my precious Bella," you hear him murmur into your shoulder, tracing a delicate finger along your back as he presses his lips to your spine, and your heart stills.

"Let me draw you a bath."

For a man so cold, his body feels surprisingly warm.

author ps: ANY BDSM should have CLEAR communicated boundaries (established beforehand) and during AND include AFTERCARE. the aftercare was not written (it would be the bath, basically). if you are new to BDSM or considering BSDM please be INFORMED and do not use fanfic and dark content as a basis for it

© BSDAWGZ Don’t steal or plaigarize cos that’s mean… and if you enjoyed the fic, please reblog! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ Beautiful dividers by @ v6que!

[ironladders]

"I circled half the globe searching for him, but he was gone."

Starscream ;_;

RIGHT?? IT'S SO SAD .

and i have sooo many thoughts about this whole situation with skyfire/starscream that's been presented to me, if you dont mind anon im gonna use your ask to ramble a little

(disclaimer im sure nothing i have to say here is particularly new & has been said by those who've been deep into TF longer than myself but i need to get this out my system anyways. and also im still watching through g1 so if im horribly mistaken about anything #oops)

unless i missed something, i don't think it's specified in "fire in the sky" how long starscream looked for skyfire?? but just thinking about that line.... he obviously didn't immediately go back to cybertron, he didn't just give up on skyfire. starscream cared about skyfire enough to look for him, only leaving after (i assume) he realized he didn't have the resources to conduct a proper search for his companion. and i mean can you imagine being starscream in that situation???? your partner just disappears into a storm, and no matter how far and long you look you're unable to find them????????

i get starscream, man. i'd also become awful if that happened to me.

and here's the thing: i stumbled upon this post which posits that the decepticons happening to stumble across skyfire in the ice was no incident, but starscream's own doing, and i LOVE this theory/headcanon so much. when i first watched the episode yesterday i was thinking that it was funny they just happen to be mining right where skyfire was frozen so it's nice to see my suspicions affirmed LMAO

i honestly love that episode so much because as i learn more about starscream and transformers as a whole i think little tidbits like that offer a deeper look into who he is (or was, idk) beyond just megatron's second-in-command. he was a scientist, an explorer, a friend. "was" isn't even the proper word here, because he still is all of those things, he just...... applies them differently, i suppose. which is the real tragedy in who he is as a character.

beyond starscream and his search for skyfire, you wanna know what i've REALLY been thinking about a lot with these two? when skyfire becomes a decepticon (for like a day lol but still), starscream immediately declares that when he overthrows megatron, skyfire will become his second-in-command. not any of the other seekers, not either of the waves, not literally anyone else who's been a decepticon for more than an hour, but skyfire. his long-lost science partner. on starscream's end, virtually nothing about his relationship with skyfire has changed. he still trusts him as much as he did millions of years ago, to the point he'd be willing to have him at his side as leader of the decepticons.

but on skyfire's end... the starscream in front of him is different from the one he knew. war and being a decepticon changed starscream for the worst, something that unveils itself very quickly to skyfire. one of the first things he asks starscream after becoming a decepticon is if starscream is genuinely happy about being a decepticon warrior over the scientist he used to be. skyfire can't believe that the person standing in front of him could be the starscream he once knew before being frozen. still, it's starscream, so skyfire ends up going along with things up until he can't ignore his morals and deny that he's on the wrong side anymore.

that is where the second tragedy happens for starscream: betrayl, by the man he'd waited to get back for so long. he finally got skyfire back, only to lose him all over again.

if skyfire had never crashed that day -- if they'd never gone closer to explore the earth in the first place -- would starscream had gone down such a dark path? would he have taken countless lives, and become the ruthless decepticon he is now? does it eat at skyfire, knowing that in his absence starscream lost who he once was? or perhaps he'd still be the same starscream, but skyfire would be at his side serving the decepticon cause. maybe they both would've been so drastically changed by the years of cybertron's war together.

skyfire is a living, formerly frozen relic of the past before everything went wrong. starscream has aged far beyond that, to the point of no return. as much as they surely both want it, and regardless of what happens to them, their bond can never go back to what it once was.

god i just. i need more!!! i need to watch more transformers and read more of the comics and see more of these two!! i watched tfp + some of the live action movies as a kid but this is my first time learning about skyfire and this thing he's got going on with starscream and it's fascinating to me i can't believe i didn't know about this before!!!!! but it's also so fucked up oh my god!!!!!

ok yeah ive gotten the brainworms out my system. idk how to end this here's screenshots i took that i found funny

[normansnt]

Ace

(Alastor x male reader)

Explain to Alastor what Ace means

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/N)?" Called out Alastor to you

"Yes?" You answered not looking up from what you were reading.

"Would you like to go, get some coffee with me, in, what your generation calls, a date?"

Now to this you looked up.

"What?" You answered very confused

"In a...romantic way?" He tried explaining it to you thinking thats the part you didn't understand.

"I mean...I would love to but you dont have to push yourself if it would make you feel uncomfortable" you answered while you put your book down slowly on the coffee table.

"Uncomfortable? Why would it make me uncomfortable we are close are we not?"

Now he got confused as well.

"Well because...your ace and/or aro?"

"What is with that word, Rosie said it as well and the meaning of it still avoids me" he answered starting to get annoyed by his lack of understanding.

"What- ohhhh what did you say when did you die?"

"1933, however its quite rude to ask someone that." He answered looking at you in a scolding way.

"I'm sorry but because you lived back than thats why you don't know that word, please sit let me explain"

He sat down on the couch in front of you.

"Ok, so when we say 'ace' we refer to someone who has little to no sexual attraction and aromantic or aro is someone who has little to no romantic attraction. Of course there is much more to this subject but this kind of sums it up."

Alastor just stared at you.

Him? Not being interested in romantic relationships or sex??

Thats...true. He never felt the need to sleep with anyone he was doing totally fine without it. Romance...was another category completely however, and he didn't know if it was something he was interested in it or not.

He asked you out in the first place because he felt very good in your presence. He felt comfortable and content. Was that not romance?

"Alastor?" He has been staring at you for a while and it was quite creepy.

"Listen I understand thats a lot of information to process especially if you just realized some things about yourself so I can leave if you like-"

"No" Answered Alastor a bit fast. He has made up his mind. He might not be interested in a sexual relationship however he really wanted to kiss you right now.

"It might be true that I have not known this so far in my life or death, and you did make me realize some things about myself, but even so my offer still stands."

"Oh? Are you sure because I only want to if it doesn't make you uncom-"

You couldn't get the rest of your sentence out due to a pair of lips on yours.

Alastor kissed you.

You were stunned for a second but after you realized what was happening you kissed back immediately.

His lips were surprisingly soft, not to mention he did pretty good looking at the fact that it was his first kiss.

"Trust me, dear, If something would make me uncomfortable I wouldn't do it." He said grinning and holding your chin after you two parted.

You were a blushing mess.

You've never thought about Alastor that way, since you thought he was aromantic. But now that you did, fucking god, you like him.

Whit that thought in mind you kissed him again.

This time you stood up and he put his hands on your waist while yours were on his neck.

It wasn't a heated kiss and it will never be very likely you didn't want to step over his boundaries.

"...So my dear, would you like to get that coffee now?" He asked smiling while offering you his arm.

"I would love to" you smiled back at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guys I have a serious problem Im literally shitting words I have never written this many fanfics in one go🥹

BUT YK WHAT WORTH IT CUZ I LOVE EM

I literally love almost all characters in hazbin hotel so much I JUST CANNOT STOP💀

Thank you sm for the correction @whyarewehere103 😎🙏🧡

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies,gentleman and other, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Why the Alpha Timeline is the Alpha Timeline

I figured I'd make a post, since it's pretty subtle and I think it genuinely passed a lot of people by? Homestuck is made up of a lot of words, haha.

The alpha timeline is described by Doc Scratch, functionally, as "the timeline that causes LE to exist."

The path which alone has my absolute mastery is the alpha timeline, a continuum I define as that which boasts exclusive rights both to my birth and to my death, two circumstantially simultaneous events.

Aranea also gives the explanation that the alpha timeline is the one where reality is perpetuated.

AG: Reality itself is using you and many others to propagate its own existence. Strictly speaking, there is only one path to its successful propagation. 8ut it still permits you to make choices.

Caliborn also states that his quest as a Lord of Time is coming to terms with the inevitability that everything, ever, in all of time, will be because of him - that he'll be the one to shape it, including the circumstances of his own defeat.

uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS. uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE. uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL. uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY. uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY. uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING. uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER. uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR. uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS. uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE. uu: RETROACTIVELY.

Aradia's stint as stewardess of the afterlife is explicitly described as "service to the lord of double death," and Dave explains that he acts instinctively - like Caliborn does - to fulfill the conditions of the alpha timeline. It's also worth noting that their classes, Maid and Knight, are roles that directly serve a Lord in the real world.

TEREZI: LUCK1LY YOU M4K3 4N 4DOR4BL3 H4NDM41D TO TH3 M4ST3R OF D34TH, 3SP3C14LLY 1N YOUR CUT3 CH3RRY P1X13 3NS3MBL3 ARADIA: you think so?

GG: well youre from the future right? GG: dont you know already if itll work? TG: yeah more or less TG: i never really studied how it went down all that closely TG: i just figured when the time came to sort it out the right thing to do would be obvious TG: like it is now TG: managing the loops is a balance of careful planning and just rolling with your in the moment decisions TG: and trusting they were the ones you were always supposed to make TG: by now im pretty used to having my intuition woven into the fabric of the alpha timeline

I'm starting with all that so I can explain that the GAME OVER timeline doesn't end when the time players disappear from it, like doomed timeline offshoots normally do, because it IS the alpha timeline: the sequence of events that causes GAME OVER to occur is the sequence of events that Caliborn/Lord English have chosen: one where (nearly) everyone dies, all hope of victory is lost, and his servant, the Condesce, gets to claim the Ultimate Reward, perpetuating the same misery and oppression in the new universe, and presumably all universes to come.

We see from Caliborn's chess match with Calliope that his (and by extension, LE)'s modus operandi is to follow the rules to the letter, while manipulating his opponent, tricking them with "shitty twists". It's always been explained that LE's actions have been "sanctioned by paradox space," that is, everything he's doing is explicitly allowed, nothing he's doing is against the rules - including the fact that he must be defeated. He has, via his mastery of time, perfectly engineered a situation where the only viable reality is the one where yes, he IS defeated... in the dream bubbles, by the dead and doomed, whom he sent to the dream bubbles in the first place via Condy, Jack English, and all the other boss fights. And his will, his ideals, are imposed on the new universe in spite of his defeat.

In a completely Watsonian read of the text, Lord English is an incredible villain because - subtly and unsublty - he IS basically responsible for every bad thing that ever happens, ever, to everyone. He has legitimately been the puppetmaster pulling the strings the entire time, pretty much all because Caliborn is a huge asshole who loves to hurt other people, and wants to do it as much as he can, to as many people as he can, for as long as he can.

But I think he's especially interesting through a Doylist perspective, through a reading of the text as a coming of age. Homestuck is a worth riddled with theme and symbolism, and thematically, Lord English represents everything that these kids need to overcome in order to mature into kind, empathetic adults who will be one day responsible for the care and oversight of a new universe. He represents selfishness, sadism, greed, destruction, oppression, fascism, murder, genocide, and hatred. And also literally the patriarchy.

And, you know what? Don't take my word for it. Here's Andrew Hussie's commentary from Book 6 Act 5 Act 2 Part 2:

Much of the logic [for who contributes to Lord English] orbits around these negative traits associated with men, or more specifically, the “toxically masculine” aspects often linked to certain male personalities. Dirk has a lot of these traits, which are central to Dave’s feelings of tension and abuse concerning his bro. The intellectual aggression, the power of assertion, the knowitall-ism, the mansplaining. That’s a lot of Dirk stuff when he’s at his worst. Equius shares a lot of those traits too, with some different points of emphasis. Both of them have this creepy-guy streak running through them, with strange or offputting interests, and seem to get a quiet kick out of making others uncomfortable through demonstrations of these fascinations. They are actually pretty similar characters in this way.

He's invited into the trolls' universe (and, by extension, the kids' universe) via the Dancestors, in an original sin kind of way. I'll let Hussie explain on their Formspring (emphasis mine):

We learn more about the troll race, as a once peaceful species and such before kid-ancestors as players scratched their session, though the short term relevance of this is mainly as a preamble to Scratch's religious story. Establishing an Eden-like paradise from which there is some departure through sin is sort of the boilerplate basis for religious lore. ... The failed players from peaceful Alternia made a classic "deal with the devil" move by causing the scratch after being given a choice by the mother of all monsters. (Echidna. Hey, she's a big snake!) By doing so they brought Scratch into their universe, and therefore all the things you'd expect that comes with summoning the devil.

The Dancestor's "departure through sin"? It was the fact that they couldn't get their shit together and grew up inside the Medium. That's why they're the age they are, 9 sweeps - adulthood by troll standards. They aren't kids anymore because that's the ultimate sign of having failed to do a coming of age. Symbolically, the Dancestors represent a prior generation of grown-ups that fucked everything up, leaving a huge mess for their descendents to clean up after. In fact, Doc Scratch even describes the alternate choice Echidna gave them:

The heroes could either accept their defeat along with the extinction of their race, and put no others at risk.

In other words, they could have stopped LE if they'd simply chosen not to Scratch. But once more, in line with their behavior up until that point, they chose the selfish option, and bore descendants into the world they ruined. They're immature, nasty, mean-spirited, cruel, callous, and shallow on purpose, because their role in the story is antagonistic. They're aligned (even if unwittingly) with Lord English, as they're the ones who directly invited him in via their failure to grow the fuck up.

There's also a reason why SBURB/SGRUB directly tie achieving godhood and reaching the Ultimate Reward to planetary quests fundamentally designed to help children mature. God-tiering is supposed to come at the end of one's quest, as achieving it directly teleports you to the Battlefield for the final boss.

AG: I really think how successfully they mature is tied to success in the game. It challenges the players in all the ways they need to 8e challenged to grow, which is different for every individual, and veeeeeeeery different for every race. AG: I don't think we were so hot at that aspect of the game. In fact, I'm sure we were quite awful. Hell, even I wasn't that gr8 at it! I actually just kinda fell ass 8ackwards into the god tier, to 8e honest.

And there's a perfectly functional Watsonian explanation for this - in order to increase the odds that the new universe will successfully propagate new universes, it's ideal to leave it in the hands of kind, mature people. But the Doylist explanation is, again, even more interesting.

Hussie has spoken extensively about the comic having always been about two things at its core: first, a creation myth... and second, a coming-of-age. These are complimentary themes, as Homestuck also makes statements about society and its effects on kids. In the real world, the kids of today become the voters, revolutionaries, and lawmakers of tomorrow. In Homestuck, they create, and are responsible for, a new universe.

I always saw HS as an exploration of young people developing relationships over the internet […] There’s a lot more to HS than just that obviously, but if there’s anything which it’s been about through and through, it’s modern kids relating to each other from afar, developing as people and growing up.

In fact, all the initial kids' entry artifacts are metaphors for "departures, loss of innocence, and sometimes the journey from childhood to adulthood outright." John biting an apple, symbolizing the act that cast Adam and Even from Eden. Rose breaking a bottle, the act of christening a boat, and an item integral to the main means by which she relates to her mother, alcohol - an adult substance. Dave hatching an egg, literally the act of bringing new life into the world. Jade shooting an effigy of her dog, both symbolic of Old Yeller, and of breaking a pinata, an act often done at quinceneras.

There comes a point in childhood where the child stops being a child - the safe, familiar, comfortable world that they knew stops existing, and they can never get it back. They are thrust into a world that is alien and massive, and forced to grapple with the weight of their future duties. They deal with losing their guardians and finding direction in their absence. They must decide how they want to grow up, and then are responsible for shaping the society that comes after them. In other words, SBURB/SGRUB in this metaphor represent adolescence.

Within that context, God-tiering is actually interesting because it symbolizes adulthood - a semi-permanent state that a child is supposed to reach at the end of their SBURB/SGRUB journey. And, in fact, it's treated that way - none of the characters reach god-tiering the "proper" way... and of our god-tiered characters, nearly all of them have some sort of emotional struggle with growing up too fast. Vriska with the expectations of her shitty society, Rose with her emulation of her mother, Dave with his abusive brother, and the Alpha kids with substance abuse (the jujus) and romantic drama.

Anyway, sometimes when Mario's running sideways he gets a star that makes him magic and invincible. OH. YOU MEAN HE BECOMES TRICKSTER MARIO. Yes, but less stupid. So for a while he becomes flashy and hyperactive and nothing's challenging anymore. He just starts barreling over mushrooms and leaping over pits as fast as he can, then gets to the end and jumps on the flagpole and that's it. Mario "wins". But the point is, he didn't really win. That magic star was actually devastating to his development as a human being. WHY. Because he skipped over many critical trials on his spiritual journey. Mario NEEDS to stomp on all those mushrooms. He NEEDS to bonk those bricks with his head, for the sake of his personal growth. By using the star, he is denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.

Like... I dunno... seems pretty blatant to me!

So with Homestuck so firmly being a coming of age, and with the Dancestors - whose primary failure is that of unrelenting immaturity - being cast in an antagonistic role, doesn't that make Caliborn's position of ultimate final boss extremely fitting when we take this conversation into account?

You may be destined for bigger things, but you’re still an atrocious, stupid child. And you may have won the “game” with your sister, but that doesn’t mean it was the best thing for your development as a person. You had her dream self killed, which is not an opportunity your species typically gets. So she died prematurely, instead of allowing the conflict within you to settle itself naturally. In short, you forced your predomination to happen a little too early, and now you’re stuck. STUCK? Yes. Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.

He's literally a child who chose to stunt his own growth so that he could reap all the game's rewards for himself. Someone who so stubbornly desired the selfish, greedy, and immature option that he was willing to hurt himself to achieve it. Caliborn - and by extension, Lord English - is a direct symbol for the refusal to mature, to be kind, to care about other people. By including Dirk, Gamzee, and Equius at their worst, he also comes to represent misogyny, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy. He's the Condesce's master, and so by extension, he represents fascism and oppression; as Doc Scratch, he gets off on abusing girls, and so he also represents predators and abusers. And his goal is to perpetuate himself, his ideals, what he symbolically represents, down every successive generation. Much like how these cycles of abuse and oppression seek to perpetuate themselves in the real world!

And that's why the alpha timeline, the GAME OVER timeline, is the way that it is: it's one where Lord English WINS. In Lord English's version of the story, everything is fucked up forever. He might be defeated, as is the timeline's inevitability, but his politics, his bigotry, and his ideals live on.

Except.

Our Breath player gains a power that literally unsticks him from time.

Now, personally, I don't believe that the ending we got is the one that was originally intended. I don't feel the need to elaborate upon that here, but suffice to say, given how clearly and consistently these themes are set up throughout the entire rest of the comic, it just makes sense to me that the ending we got, where characters stay dead, never finish their character development, etc. etc., is a MASSIVE tonal and thematic departure, which smacks of external pressures and influences. Everything after [S] GAME OVER is soft canon to me for this reason. But there's things that survive in it that are really really interesting, so I'll mention some.

First, the pre-retcon versions of the characters still exist, as we see from (Vriska). That means that everyone who died in GAME OVER would not necessarily have stopped mattering to the plot. I firmly believe that the original ending would've seen Lord English confronted by the GAME OVER (characters), who would also have the most karmic claim to beating Lord English's face in. This would also satisfy his whole deal of playing by the rules - he knows he HAS to be defeated, he just gets to choose the circumstances of his defeat; without realizing that John's retcon powers can rewrite a timeline, he would've set up his own death to be in the bubbles, at the hands of the already-dead, while Condy claims the Ultimate Reward - thus making it so that he still wins in the end.

But Breath represents freedom, choices - and the retcon powers are something John gains mastery over after completing his personal quest, which we've established is directly tied, both literally and symbolically, into growing up and maturing. By becoming a kind, empathetic, mature adult, John is able to choose something else.

Second, that the Ultimate Self is brought up at all, which seems to me like it would mitigate the bittersweetness of the (characters) from GAME OVER staying dead - because, in my head, the original plan for the retcon was that it would bring everyone back, and therefore, all the (characters) from GAME OVER would live on through the surviving post-retcon gang, who will eventually achieve Ultimate Selfhood, as Davepetasprite^2 says they will. This would also directly mirror the words Godtier!Calliope gives to her counterpart:

CALLIOPE: bUt then... CALLIOPE: what shoUld i do? CALLIOPE: you don't need to do anything. CALLIOPE: be who you've become, and who i didn't. CALLIOPE: consume the fruits of an existence i could never understand. CALLIOPE: live.

Third, there's just so many outstanding plot threads, even for the characters that DO survive. Jake's prophesized to defeat Lord English, Dave never actually gets over his hesitance about time travel and defeating Lord English, Karkat has multiple means of bringing his dead friends back to life and doesn't say anything, Vriska and Terezi still aren't 100% reconciled, Gamzee's tragedy is never addressed, Jane, Dirk, Jake, and Roxy never really figure out their situationship, etc. etc. etc. ... to say nothing about all the plot threads left dangling for the characters that stay dead.

And finally...

Isn't that just kind of a better story? One where the kids get to grow, change, learn from their mistakes, and create a better, kinder universe, after defeating the avatars of cruelty, oppression, and immaturity?

Is it just me? Haha.

[loveiis]

doctor!chris x virgin!fem!reader

not proofread !

warnings: taking innocence, cursing, p in v, slight blood, suggestive thoughts.

as you sat in the comfortable seats of the room, you examined the tools that sat on a grey metal tray, as if whoever was here before was prepared for your appointment.

you didnt really need this visit, nothing was wrong with your vagina. at least, you dont think so. you haven’t had any problems, plus, you’re a virgin. so no sexually transmitted diseases.

you heard the sound of the door clicking, snapping you out of your thoughts as you looked towards the now opening door.

you expected to see a woman, but yet you see a man before you. is that even allowed?

“hi, i’m doctor chris sturniolo, you’re here for your vagina exam, correct?” he reaches his hand out towards yours.

“yes- yeah, i am. nice to meet you.” you flash him a small smile as you shake his hand.

“great, alright then, just sit up here and make sure to stay calm, ‘kay?” he lets go of your hand to point towards the exam table.

that completely slipped your mind. you’re the patient, why are you sitting in the chairs?

“right, okay.” you get up quickly and walk towards it. chris helps you onto the examination table, his hands steadying your hips as you sit down.

“that's a good girl. just make yourself comfortable.” he retrieves a speculum, glinting in the harsh overhead light, and begins to prepare for the examination.

you nervously wait, intertwining your fingers on your stomach, just waiting for this whole thing to be over.

chris notices your nervousness, and gives you a reassuring smile.

“trust me, my dear. i've done this a thousand times. you have nothing to worry about.” he begins the exam, inserting the speculum slowly and carefully.

you listen to his reassuring words, relaxing as you feel the speculum inside of you. in discomfort, you suck in air through your teeth.

as he examines you, chris can't help but notice how tight and youthful your vagina is. he feels a stirring in his pants, and his fingers move with a newfound gentleness.

“ah, yes... you have a very healthy cervix.” he pauses, his gaze lingering on your delicate pink folds.

at this point, your nervousness was just building up even more. how were you supposed to stay calm like this?

chris clears his throat, trying to hide his growing arousal. “and your hymen... it appears you're still an untouched virgin.” he hesitates, his mind racing with forbidden thoughts.

“tell me, has anyone ever even touched you down here before?” his voice drips with unspoken desire.

taken aback by the question, heat rises to your cheeks as you answer, “u-um… no. just myself..” you let out a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

chris's eyes light up with excitement at your admission. a true virgin, untouched and unexplored. he sets the speculum aside, his hands shaking slightly as he reaches for something else.

“perhaps we should take a closer look, just to make sure everything is in perfect condition.”

not really knowing what he means by that, you start to tap your fingers against your belly anxiously.

he retrieves a small, thin probe, designed for gentle examinations. chris wets it with lubricant, his face flushed with eagerness.

“now, spread your legs a little wider for me, dear.” he softly taps your knee twice.

you hesitantly spread your legs a bit wider, slightly aroused at the position you’re in, especially with a good-looking doctor… what?

chris slowly inserts the probe, his eyes locked onto your face, watching for any sign of discomfort.

“you're so tight, like a little fist.” his voice is barely a whisper, his own arousal growing harder to hide.

“i need to check your virgin opening, just to be sure.” chris pauses, checking if you’re okay with that.

how many tests does he have to do, exactly? “okay, thats fine.” you sigh a bit, somewhat wishing something more exciting than this exam would happen.

chris pushes the probe deeper, his breathing growing heavier. he can feel your virgin opening tightening around the intruder, a sign of your untouched innocence.

he bites his lip, trying to maintain his professional composure. “yes, you're definitely untouched.” chris holds the probe in place, his other hand reaching for a small camera.

“now, let's get a better look at this precious little hole.” he carefully inserts the camera, the small lens peeking out of your opening. “ah, perfect.”

“am i okay, then?” you spoke, squirming slightly at the uncomfortable feeling.

chris pulls out the camera, his face contorted with unspoken desire. “yes, you're perfectly healthy...” his voice trails off as he stares at your spread-open, untouched innocence.

“but I think we should run a few more tests, just to be sure.”

inside your brain, you were screaming in frustration that you had to go through more tests, being that the situation you’re in is… slightly unprofessional..

“that’s fine. whatever you have to do..” your eyes narrowed as you notice the invitation behind your words.

chris's mind races with depraved thoughts. he knows he should stop, that he's crossing a professional boundary, but he can't resist the temptation of your innocence.

“i think i'll need to use my fingers to check your response, dear. would that be alright?” he looks at you, waiting for your consent.

his fingers? your vagina? jesus, this was an exam, your thoughts need to chill out. hes just checking your response, right?

“uh, s-sure” you stutter, preparing yourself for whatever was to come.

chris lubes up his index and middle fingers, his eyes never leaving your face. “i'll go slowly, dear. just tell me if it hurts, okay?”

he gently spreads your lips open with his thumb and index finger, and slowly enters you with his middle and ring fingers. “how's that feel?” he asked.

“oh— f-feels good..” you tried to hold back a moan, trying to keep your response as professional as possible. but the way his fingers are inside of you, this is going to be difficult.

chris's heart races as he feels your tight virgin hole clutching onto his fingers. his mind is consumed with thoughts of pounding you hard, but he fights back the urge and continues to probe you gingerly.

“good? I think we can do better than that...” he sighs.

“what- what do you mean?” your eyes flicked across the room fearfully.

he decides to push his luck and adds a third finger, stretching your tiny hole further. “i mean, I think you can handle a bit more...”

he starts to curl his fingers, rubbing against your inner walls. “how about this? does that feel good?”

the stretch was way too much. it definitely felt good, but you couldn’t handle it.

“oh god- t’ much..” your hands gripped onto your shirt.

he immediately stops, his fingers still buried deep in you. “oh, i'm so sorry. did I hurt you? let me pull out...” he slowly slips his fingers out, blood staining the tips. “yes, that's normal.”

“its okay.. im not hurt..” i stare at the small amount of blood on his gloves.

chris's face darkens with lust as he sees the blood. he knows he should stop, but seeing your virgin cunt is too much for him.

he quickly removes his gloves and retrieves a condom from the drawer. “i think i should examine you more thoroughly.”

you silently question him in your head, as you were looking up at the ceiling, not even seeing him grab a condom.

chris slowly unzips his pants, pulling out his hard, throbbing erection. he quickly sheathes it with the condom. “just to make sure you're still a virgin, i should... push inside you.” he spreads your legs wider.

wait what does he mean ‘push inside you’..? you opened your mouth to ask but you then felt something pressing against your entrance.

you quickly look down, seeing him with his dick out, lined up with your entrance with a condom on. when did he put a condom on?

he looked at you first, asking for consent yet again. you didn’t know how to verbally express that because it was too embarrassing for you to say out loud. so you just nodded.

chris grips your thighs tightly and slowly pushes into you, his face contorted with pleasure. he can feel your virginity stretching to accommodate him, the barrier popping as he fully sheathes himself inside you.

“ohmygosh- so big..” you bit your lip at the way he stretched you.

“oh god, you're so tight. you were definitely a virgin.” he begins to thrust slowly.

you moan softly as he thrusts into you, the wet sounds of you filling the room each time.

chris picks up the pace, his thick cock pounding into your tight, virgin pussy.

“fuck, you're so small and tight. i can feel your innocence squeezing me with every thrust.” he reaches down and grabs your leg, pulling it up to his shoulder as he fucks you harder.

“mmph- fuck.. so- so good.” you whimper as your voice bounces with his movements.

chris grunts with effort as he fucks you relentlessly, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. “you're taking my cock so well for a virgin. i think you were made just for me.” he pulls out suddenly and flips you over, pushing your face into the cushions of the exam table.

chris grabs your hips and positions himself behind you, pushing back into your pussy with a hard thrust. he begins to fuck you harder and faster, his balls slapping against your clit as he bottoms out inside of you. “you look so fucking hot from this angle.”

the new angle made you go insane. “yes! oh fuck- s’good chris, shit..” you were too far gone to realize you called him by his first name.

chris's breathing grows ragged as he continues to pound into you, his own end nearing. he reaches down and grabs your wrists, pinning your arms above your head as he speeds up his thrusts.

“i'm close, dear. i'm going to fill up your little virgin hole with my seed.”

even in situations like these he speaks so professionally.

“please please! ‘m coming!” you have never heard yourself like this, everything felt so crazy.

chris grunts loudly as he buries himself to the hilt inside you, his body convulsing as he spills into the condom.

he continues to thrust through his own completion, drawing out your own intense release. “that's it, come for me, dear. show me how much you loved your first time.”

you breathed heavily as you came down, feeling euphoric.

chris collapses onto your back, his breath hot against your ear as he catches his breath. he slowly pulls out of you and disposes of the condom, before gently cleaning you up with a warm cloth.

“there you go, dear. your first time is over.” he spoke, pulling his pants back up and zipping them.

as you start to come back to reality, you couldn’t help but ask, “does everyone experience that when they get checked by you?”

chris chuckles and helps you sit up, wrapping you in a warm blanket. “no, they don’t. but you, my dear, were perfect.”

wc: 1,848 words, 10,469 characters.

dividers from @/saradika-graphics

didn’t like this one that much 😣

[daetko]

ᐟᐟ☆ hanta sero: the birthday special . . .

⊱ cw: swearing, pet names, fluff, gn!reader, smau + written (wc: ~1.7k) !

⊱ a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERO HANTA !!!!!! this was super rushed! + in my head sero’s a sws fan he would love their music trust hiro told me !!

⊱ masterlist

you and your boyfriend agreed beforehand to meetup and get ready at one of your dorms for the concert. you were grateful that the schools management even allowed you two to go to such an event. as you got ready together, he finished before you and waited on the couch while you scurried around the room looking for your shoes. when you were done, he took your hand in his and spun you, making you do a 360. beautiful as ever, you looked.

the car ride to the venue was filled with your nervous fidgeting, as you silently prayed that nothing would go wrong so your lovers’ birthday gift would be perfect. hanta noticed your nervousness, picking up on the subtle hints you were unconsciously dropping. he placed his hand over yours and met your eyes. “c’mon baby, is that adrenaline or anxiety?” he asked, flashing the signature smile that made you fall for him. you couldn’t help but smile back. “hopefully not the latter! i can’t even tell myself” you said with a slight chuckle, his touch comforting you. that’s right, you’re with the boy you love. no matter what happens, it’s always the best when you’re in his company.

the car parked in the VIP parking lot, and hanta quickly sprinted around to open your door. you giggled at the gesture and he took your hand helping you out the car. you gave him a quick kiss him on the cheek “thank you, what a gentleman you are!” you smiled at him. he smiled back proudly, wrapping one arm around your waist and using the other to hold your purse. the two of you walked over to your reserved spot, and not long later; the concert began. now you were sure it was adrenaline making you fidgety, because you were so excited to see your boyfriend having fun.

you finally saw hanta’s figure sprinting toward the car, and you sighed in relief as the drivers patience grew thin, his fingers tapped the steering wheel. “there you are!” you said, rolling down your window and scooting to the side. hanta got in, caught his breath, and quickly turned to you as the driver started the car. your lover smiled at you so brightly you could practically feel your cheeks warming. his hands cupped your face as he pulled you in for a loving kiss. your hands found his on your cheeks, and you placed them over his as you kissed him back. after a moment he pulled away, both of you breathless, but didn’t give you a moment to catch your breath before pecking your forehead. “love you s’much. thank you for today, it was the most fun i had in a while. it wouldn’t have been the same without you” he smiled at you, that smile of his that always made it impossible to hold back yours. “let’s go home and build the lego set you got me, yeah?“ you nodded “id love that!”

you loved him, and he loved you, and that’s all you needed to know to live in eternal happiness.

a/n: the driver dont gaf im crying !!1!2!-! its my first time writing a proper fic other than the one i have in my drafts rn i hope this is not bad!

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (4)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

I am actually a little bit nervous about this part, so I hope you enjoy it.

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 3 — DENVER // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 4) — THE VIDEO

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liked by bestfriend, anthonypham, mollyjane_x and 59,302 others 

yourinstagram im sorry its taken me so long to show up. i thought time would give me the ability to find some words to say, but as it turns out im much better at telling things through a camera than through a pen (or a keyboard, in this case). when i posted my first video on youtube, all i wanted was to find myself again after finally getting free from a relationship that drained the fun out of me. making movies is something that ive always been passionate about, so i thought — why not? three months later, when i posted my first video at a concert, all i wanted was to tell the story of a woman who, after raising two kids and giving everything she had to make everyone around her happy and safe, finally had the opportunity to make one of her most “innocent” dreams (seeing shania twain) come true. fast forward to this week, as i post my latest video all i want is to tell the story of a man who has the entire world in the palm of his hand and yet lives his life as if he’s merely another ordinary soul on earth. what happens now, and what you do with this story (or with any other ive already told), its not up to me anymore. 

that all being said, thank you harry for trusting me with this story. it wasn’t mine to tell, but you allowed me to do it anyway and i’ll always be grateful for that. so, again, thank you. 

ok i will stop typing now. 

actually, im just gonna add that i hope you all enjoy this video as much as i do (but if you don’t, thats fair, and i’ll accept it just as much) 

ok, now im done :) 

view all 11,073 comments

lookitsnyoh 👑👑👑👑👑 harryfan9 this was so much more than we’ve asked for 🙏🙏🙏 user1 its been almost 24 hours since you posted this video and im still 😲!! YOU’RE INCREDIBLE  user5 absolutely amazing! unexpected, captivating, touching… 10/10! yourbrother Kinda sucks that I don’t even feel like teasing you this time. I’m just proud.

↳ sisterinlaw Printed and framed already. ↳ yourinstagram … i dont even know what to say right now ↳ yourinstagram ＠sisterinlaw i’ll need a copy of that pls 

harryfan your mind is so brilliant im so in love with this and i know i speak for the entire fandom when i say: THANK YOU 😭

↳ harryfan5 no really bc we’re so used to getting practically nothing that she coulve just done anything and we would’ve still died… and yet she gave us THIS?  ↳ harryfan7 yn deserves the best in life period ↳ harryfan54 c’mon… it’s not THAT good

harrystyles 😲 so this was my story you were telling? 

↳ yourinstagram i kept my side of the promise, didnt i? you were supposed to keep yours ↳ harrystyles fair enough. you’re welcome x  ↳ yourinstagram 😌😌😌😌😌 ↳ yourinstagram thank you ↳ harrystyles you’re welcome x ↳ harryfan25 OMFGDSGFUAGFBH ↳ harryfan11 ＠yourinstagram ＠harrystyles sorry guys do you want us to leave you two alone?  ↳ harryfan51 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭  ↳ harryfan17 wdym you kept your side of the promise??? what did you promise????? what is it?????

harryfan10 pls we need more harry content already  user7 Don’t go missing again, we miss you here! 

Sep 9, 2021 •

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liked by yourinstagram, bestfriend, jefezoff and 5,187,031 others

harrystyles I’m honored to say ＠yourinstagram has turned the beginning of this new chapter into a lovely short-movie, one you can watch right now on her youtube channel. 

Thank you Yn for being so caring and respectful about everything and everyone involved in this project. To watch this idea turn into reality has been nothing but inspiring. 

Welcome to the team, it’s too late to back out now. x

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bestfriend this moment is all mine. 20+ years of friendship are FINALLY paying off. 

↳ user3 you’re so unserious i love it fgajdujn ↳ yourinstagram im doing it just for you <3

harryfan5 noooooo I can’t do this my heart can’t take it pls stop 😭😭 harryfan23 I CANT BELIEVE YNS FIRSTS WORDS TO HIM WERE SHUT THE FUCK UP HAHAHAHAHA  annetwist What a wonderful job you’ve done dear ＠yourinstagram 🥰

↳ yourinstagram ❤️ ↳ harryfan54 🙄

harryfan66 who are you and what have you done to the real harry? 🧐

↳ harryfan14 for real tho lmao  ↳ harryfan74 yup. ive been saying it: another strategy just to get a random famous on harrys back. as usual.

harryfan9 NOT HARRY EXPOSING THE FIRST TIME THEY TALKED????

↳ harryfan3 and the fact that HE texted her first???  ↳ harryfan9 pls!!! molly gave me your nUmBeR 🤪🤪

harryfan15 oh you’re so sick for this AHDUAJHDJ  yourinstagram THOSE messages? REALLY???

↳ harrystyles I’ve been explicitly forbidden to post a picture with you so I had to improvise.  ↳ yourinstagram ok but did you also have to conveniently leave my next message out of it? ↳ harrystyles Yes x. 

Sep 9, 2021 •

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PART 5: FROM SAN ANTONIO

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[bangchansgirlsblog]

Can I please request Skz x 9th member with s3lfh4rm like…the boys trying to help and all those things (you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to)

The stages of healing.

warning: eating disorder and mentions of self harm.

Pairing: Skz x 9th member

Summary: the stages are healing are hard but Chan and the boys are here for you.

!not proofread!

Hope you enjoy this bby!

-🩷

*

"Baby you have to eat something" Chan says while pushing the plate back to my side of the table.

We were currently sat in the dining room and everyone had finished eating their breakfast leaving me and chan (who had also finished eating his breakfast) alone.

"Chan I don't want too, I'm full" I complain while looking at the full plate infront of me. It was obviously untouched but i could'nt bring myself to eat it. It was taunting me.

"You only had two bites and we have training all day today, I don't want you passing out my love. You need to eat something," He says while rubbing my back. He was being gentle i cant lie there but the worryb and frustration in his voice caused me to feel more guilthy at the fact that my brain was a constant maze and battle zone when it came to eating

"Look you can atleast just eat the mashed potatoes and peas so you can give you energy. Trust me it wont be bad," He tries to reason with me but I shake my head no. I was so full and food gave me so much anxiety.

I didn't want to grow fat, I wouldn't allow it.

"Channie I don't want too, please don't make me." I beg him while fiddling with my fingers.

"Baby, I'm starting to get worried. You only have one meal a day and when you do, you barely eat. Please don't make me forcefully feed you." his voice was soft and his touch was so warm. i knew he meant well bu the contant voices in my head wouldnt allow me to do anything.

I look at him terrified, mortified because would he really? I knew Chan was stronger than me but he wouldn't pin me down just to make me eat...right?

"Okay Mashed potatoes only." I sigh looking at the plate. Trying not to cry.

"There we go Babygirl" he smiles and kisses my temple. His eyes twinkle and i couldnt help but also smile at how pretty he was.

"what?" he asks chuckling

"your just so pretty"

"ugh stop changing the subject and eat" his cheeks were now a ligh pink and his ears turned a dark red. he rolls his eyes playfully and runs his hand through his hair.

"Yo Chan," Han says coming into the room and looking over at me and Chan. He gives him "the look".

"Is she having trouble eating again?" Han asks worried and Chan nods his head.

"But it's fine she's eating her potatoes today.”

Han smiles at that and comes over to ruffle my hair.

“I’m proud of you kid.” He beams and I poke out my tongue causing him to laugh.

"Chan can you help me look for the flash drive before we leave?" Han asks,

"Yeah sure, babe eat up. I'll be back." He tells me and leaves the room with Han. I let out a sigh of relief and quickly stand up and dunk all the food into the trash can. My heart was beating because I prayed that Chan would take long looking for the Flash drive but luck wasn't on my side because he came right back into the kitchen.

"Hey-" he stops and looks up from his phone. "are you done?"

"I finished them." I said smiling, well whatever you call a plastic smile. A guilty smile.

"You finished all the mashed potatoes?" He says coming close to me. I nod trying to avoid his eye contact.

"Okay then." He simply says before walking to the trash can.

"N-no don't look in there-" I try to stop him but it's too late. He had already opened it and looked inside. He turned to look at me and he was so mad I could tell.

"Your a liar." He growls. i gulp knowing the concequences of my actions.

"i ate half of them?" i sigh and look up at him. He just shakes his head and lets out a frustrated sigh.

"i dont get it! why dont you want to eat anymore? We were doing so well,"

"is everything okay in here?" Felix's head pops up at the corner of the door.

"she just threw out all her food-"

"again? thats the 4th time this week." he frowns and makes his way into the the room.

"exactly my point,"

"i did eat chan, i ate half the potatoes-" i tug on my long sleeves sweaters and look at the both of them.

He frowns and looks down then back up, searching for my eyes.

“Can I see your wrists?” He asks looking back down at my fingers. His eyes were furrowed. Almost in like a confused way?

My eyes go wide at his request but I quickly shove them away.

“Chan they’re ugly, I don’t want you to see them.” I frown. My voice quivers. The tears that had disappeared were now reappearing.

“Chan I haven’t been cutting I promise-“

“Then let me see, I know you too well my love. Let me see.” His eyes are soft now and were reaching out for both my hands that were covered with my hoodies sleeves.

I sigh and give in. His hands are soft against mine but he pulls up the sleeves. He examines the scars that were now slowly healing. His lips in a soft smile.

“See I told you, I promised you I stopped.”

“Hey hey hey and I’m so proud of you. I just wanted to make sure because I care and love you. You’re doing a good job healing.” his hands wrap around my waist and pull me against his body.

“Ew gross get a room.” Felix says killing our moments. Chan chuckles and pushes him away.

"The cars are here everbody!" Hyunjins voice echoes through the house.

"okay this conversation isnt over yet, here take the banana and we'll talk about it after practice yeah?" he kisses my forhead and hands me the banana before we grab our bags and make our way to the car.

"go ahead eat it, im watching you." chan raises one eyebrow while staring at me. "She still isnt eating?" Leeknow asks after listening to our conversation.

"i am! chans just being a overprotective," i sigh and peel the banana.

"i am not!" he defends himself and i let out a giggle while slowly starting to chew the banana and finishing it. "see i told you," i poke my tongue out at him and he let out a little laugh.

"okay whatever but your still having lunch with me." i mentally sigh dreading the feeling of the banana sitting in my stomach.

i play with chans's silver braclet as we wait to arrive at the jyp building. It didnt take long. It was just a 15 minute ride once we arrived. we all make our way up the building to our normal dance room and set everything up.

"lets start with stretching and then get to God's menu, yeah?" we all groan as we get to our places and minho plays the song.

*

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Can I request yandere Jason, Jeff and Sully with a Y/N who during one of them attempts to escape suffered an accident and lost their memory?

they dont remember anything, not even that their kidnapped.

Okay I was so, so excited when you sent this in I need you to know that. However, I now can't repeating "they had amneesssiiaaaa" to myself cause of this silly video my partner showed me about video games where they keep repeating that and it's very funny and I'm gonna link it here even though it's very unrelated

You were so close to freedom, so close to finally getting away from your captor. You'd worked so hard to plan your escape, including the memorized route you'd take to get out of there while he was distracted, leaving you plenty of time to leave. You could taste your freedom on your tongue as you sprinted through the woods, left, right, left, right, right, but before your final left on the path, you'd gotten too tired, and you'd tripped on a stray tree root, falling and slamming your head quite hard onto the root of a separate tree, rendering you unconscious. You could have been out for just a few minutes, or even a few hours, but it gave your captor enough time to track you and find you, hovering over you as you finally peeled your eyes open. He expected you to cry or beg for forgiveness, but you didn't. No, you could only blink up at him in confusion and ask, "Who are you?"

Jason:

Jason thinks this must be some sort of blessing from above, some kind of repayment for all of his years of suffering. The two of you before your last attempted escape were most certainly not where he wanted you to be in your relationship, but now you have no memory of that, no memory at all. This has to be the best thing to ever happen to him, to happen to the two of you. He took advantage of your amnesia immediately, without even a hint of guilt in his mind. He'd told you that he was your dearest husband, that the two of you had been on a little walk and you'd fallen and must have bumped your head too hard. He gently escorted you home, and you were so quick to trust him that he couldn't help but internally laugh. In the coming days, he would continue planting seeds in your mind, about how you've always been incredibly loving and affectionate toward him, that you like it when he touches you whenever he wants, that you allow him to force you into whatever kind of situation he wants.

You go along with it with that adorably innocent look on your face because you just don't know any better. He never falters, convincing you to become his little doll just as he's always wanted you to be, it's so much fun for him, and it makes him so happy, and because he's so happy, you're so happy as well. Of course, the thought crosses his mind that maybe one day you'll remember the truth, but he reaches a conclusion to that easily; if you regain your memories, well, he can just cause you some head trauma again! Just enough force to make you have amnesia again, and he can start all over as many times as it takes because now that he knows what it's like to have all of your love and attention, he's not giving it up ever again. You're just the cutest little toy, and he'll do whatever he can to keep you that way, keep you being so loving and sweet and wonderful, no matter what your slowly returning memories try and convince you of, he'll win in the end.

Jeff:

Jeff is going to be the one to most easily fuck it up, that much is obvious, but he tries his best. Yandere Jeff has no control over himself or his emotions, as much as he tries to, and his anger issues are much worse than they are in normal Jeff. See, Jeff doesn't even believe you at first, thinks you're playing a trick on him and he yells at you for it, but when you react with more fear than usual a part of him realizes that perhaps this is the truth, and he stops and apologizes, not wanting to waste the opportunity he has here. He tells you that he's your partner and that you had gone on a walk by yourself and gotten lost, that he was coming to find you, and that you must have tripped and hit your head. You hesitate, but you accept his outstretched hand and follow him home, unknowingly walking right back into the hell you'd been trying so hard to get away from. Your time spent with Jeff isn't as bad as it had been, as he's trying so desperately to not fuck this chance up, but you're naturally suspicious of him due to his clear uncontrolled temper.

He doesn't hit you anymore, because he knows that will definitely fuck everything up, but sometimes he can't help but yell at you when you do something he perceives as wrong (because you've forgotten all of the ridiculous rules he had set), and so he does his best to remind you of them, forcing apologies out of his throat. It never crossed his mind that you could get your memories back, but with the repeated tone and threats he'd always used before, things started to come back to your mind, memories that had been sealed away by your fall, and the more he forces himself on you, his lips, his hands, his body, the more you grow internally hesitant, and the less you believe the lies he's spewing. It's only inevitable that one day you'll try and escape again, but only because you don't know the true extent of his violence, and he won't hold back next time, no, next time his gentleness with you will fade permanently.

Sully:

The look of fear in your eyes is one he's familiar with, but the confusion you throw at him is most certainly not, so Sully hesitates as he goes to pick you up and bring you back. When yandere, Liu and Sully are flipped, as Liu is the incredibly manipulative one who forces you to be there, and Sully is the soft sweet, and gentle guardian who looks out for you. Sully always follows Liu's orders, always restrains you, and makes sure you remain there, but now... Now he could finally save you, he could let you get away, but at the same time, he fears what Liu might do to you if he has to hunt you down all over again, and his fear of Liu wins out. He explains that he's your partner (one of two, as he explains his situation with Liu), and he takes you back home. He looks out for you this time, however, preparing you for what's to come. He tells you what Liu is like, tells you how to behave (as the two of them don't share memories), and he makes sure you're ready.

He leaves a note for Liu that you have amnesia, and so Liu is none the wiser when he sees you for the first time after your accident and suddenly you're all lovey-dovey with him. However, the one you truly fall for is Sully. Whenever it's Sully you're with he's always trying to help you regain your memories, always trying to do the right thing, and he's so obviously sweet with you, all of Liu's cunning and manipulation vanishing as Sully tries so hard to help you. If you, amidst your amnesia, play your cards right, you might even be able to convince Sully to help you escape next time. At least, so long as Liu doesn't catch on to what's happening. If he does, Liu might just have to hide you away somewhere secret, somewhere Sully won't be able to find you and protect you. It's up to you to either submit to your fate with them or take a chance and risk it all as both of them grow clingier and clinger with you as they force themselves on you in their own ways.

[angelscovee]

𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛ ☞︎ ɪᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɴɪᴋᴀᴀᴀᴀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪs ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴀ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴɪᴋᴀ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs ᴡᴀʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴇs ʜᴏᴡ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ is

⇝ ɴɪᴋᴀ ᴍᴜ̈ʜʟ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

⇝ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴀɴɢsᴛ (ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ sǫᴜɪɴᴛ sʟɪɢʜᴛʟʏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴇɴ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs)

⇝ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀᴛʟɪsᴛ

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

it was really no secret to anyone that i was more of a reserved kind of girl, i always kept to myself, never overshared, and was always more on the quiet side.

and of course, this never changed, even when i started dating nika. i have never broke down the many walls i have set up for anyone ever.

most people see me as this cold, emotionless, rude, and over all not a friendly person, but that honestly couldn't be further from the truth.

its just that no one has "broken down" the barriers i've set. in reality im the complete opposite of everything i just listed.

nika has always insisted on getting me to open up to her about things, but i've always been so closed off and reserved that i just can't bring myself to do that.

but lately our arguments have been a bit more frequent, and as you can guess, they're about me not being open with her.

ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ

"i just dont get why its so hard for you to tell me this kind of stuff! im your girlfriend for fucks sake! you should be able to trust me!" nika was currently going off about how i've never opened up to her in the slightest, i always brush things off as if everything is okay.

"its not about that nika! it doesn't have anything to do with that! i don't tell anyone my business, anyone. not just you." i wasn't lying when i said this either, growing up it was always hard for me to express my feelings.

so now being with someone who is very passionate with what they feel, and not being afraid to show how they feel has had its ups and downs.

that argument we had that night was not pretty, but after a few hours we were finally able to solve it thankfully.

ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ

but now, its as if nika was slowly breaking down everything i built. as if they never existed. making me able to come to her whenever.

and since then our relationship has gotten stronger than ever. shes gotten me to actually be able to come to her when I'm bothered about something instead of just brushing it off like i always did.

and for that i will always be grateful, if it wasn't for her, i don't think i would ever have been able to communicate correctly with anyone.

nika has gotten pretty good at reading my facial expressions and body language, so i guess she could sense that something just wasn't right, she came up to me and sat next to me on the couch of our apartment.

"whats wrong? you look tense." she put her hand on my thigh giving me a slight sense of comfort as i sigh and lean back not knowing how to tell her.

"cmon remember what we talked about? honesty, and trust?" i looked over at her as she spoke vividly remembering the conversation we had.

i sigh as i finally spoke up, voicing my concerns to her. "its just that, its just that it all feels weird, you know? it's all so new to me and i just don't know how well i'm taking it." nika listened intently to me voicing my concerns.

although it concerns her that i'm not taking this whole being open and communicating correctly thing great, shes thankful that i was open enough to share this with her, wanting to be there every step of the way with me.

"i know it might feel scary, but you're doing great, everything is gonna take its time and you're going to adjust to it soon. but for now, we just have to take it slow." she gave me a small reassuring smile to which i returned.

knowing there was someone who truly understands me, someone willing to listen to me, and be there for me no matter what, it makes me feel like i'm worth something.

she makes me feel seen, feel loved, feel special. as if i'm the only girl in the world that truly matters, so why wouldn't i fight as hard as she does in our relationship?

"i genuinely don't know what i would've done if i hadn't met you." i look at her grabbing her hand, making eye contact getting lost in her eyes. she was the most gorgeous girl i've ever laid my eyes on.

"you're the best person to ever come into my life y/n, i wouldn't have it any other way." and with that we got comfortable on our couch cuddled up together.

knowing that it was just us right here right now made everything feel better, laying on my couch with the girl of my dreams.

maybe letting some walls down for her wouldn't be such a bad idea, it might be good for me, for us.

my rules were always to 1. never let anyone break down everything you built up in order to keep everything shielded, and 2. never let people know how you feel.

but with nika, i can proudly tell her this. "i broke my rules for you." i say as i stare at her face thats laying on my chest.

"i'm so glad you trusted me enough to do that." with that, i knew that there was nothing nika and i couldn't overcome. we were true soulmates.

i knew this girl was forever going to be mine, she'll forever be my everything.