#and honestly i think his influence is why at the end of the campaign my wizard chose to die of old age

[mysticarcanum]

straight up getting emotional about a thing that happened in a campaign that ended over a year ago

like. i wrote an ambiguous and biased backstory of a character who is part of an apocalyptic world-ending cult, who deep down wanted to study wizardry but had to frame it as going undercover as an apprentice and stealing secrets from this doddering old archmage to aid her people’s cause . and then she goes and learns wizardry and eventually realizes she wants more for herself and breaks from her cult

and i mean. there’s a lot of ways my dm could have run with that. i was fully expecting that archmage to be furious at my character for lying to and stealing from him. and so when they ran into each other again, i was braced for a fight, or at least an altercation

but instead the archmage went. i knew all along. of course i knew. i’m a divination wizard, silly. i saw a young woman in a bad place and i wanted to help her. i thought that by showing her kindness and creating an environment for her that wasn’t all about power struggles and nihilistic fanaticism that she might realize that there was more out there in the world for her. that she deserved more. you didn’t steal secrets from me, because i gave them to you. i was your teacher. i loved you and love you still

and god i didn’t know where that character was going to end up before then. i thought maybe she could go on a typical wizard hubris spiral, or a revenge quest against her old cult, but in that moment i was like. oh. she is loved. she has new friends, new family. she has a reason to change, a reason to care. her story is just about love, and about making people’s lives better

her alignment shifted from neutral to neutral good soon after. she never stopped being curious, sometimes to the point of foolishness, but she never squandered her teacher’s gift. she left the world better than she found it

[iraprince]

I love the entire concept of Cookie... the look, the fashion, the gender... Would you mind telling us a little more about him? I'm also intrigued about why she's named Cooking with Gorgeous!

HI i would LOVE to talk about george thank you so much. also this makes me realize i've never actually sat down and just made a post unabashedly infodumping at length abt an oc before and it seems silly that i haven't. i ask only for all dear readers to please temper their expectations for this post with the knowledge that i just smoked half a joint before sitting down to answer it. a small one. but still. anyway

FIRST OF ALL FOR THE UNACQUAINTED THIS IS COOKING WITH GORGEOUS, aka cookie or george for short. he uses he/him and she/her pronouns interchangeably!

hi sorry that's not cookie that's a horse in a bridal veil that i. found in my stuff while trying to scroll and find my cookie art. i just got distracted and had to show you. okay no for real here's cookie

he's the character i'm playing in a playtest campaign of the absolutely mesmerizing sapphicworld, an in-development ttrpg!!! and if i'm going to be talking about cookie i feel like i HAVE to say i think a huge amount of her charm and dazzle and charisma comes directly from the charm and dazzle and charisma of the setting i created her for. i know i am laying it on really thick right now but that is on purpose. i want, desperately and unashamedly, for this game to get really popular bc 1. it's genuinely that good. and it's not even DONE yet and 2. i want everyone to get into it so that everyone will make sapphicworld characters and then i'll get to see everyone's sapphicworld characters.

EDIT i'm scrolling back up here and adding a readmore bc this is already getting so long lol. you asked for "a little more" and apparently i have graciously decided this means "literally every fact about cookie that exists in my brain"

SO a lot of the info/tidbits i haven't shared about cookie are i guess gameplay-specific stuff... his title (which is like a class/playbook) is "The Noble Sweetheart," though in sapphicworld "nobility" no longer has anything to do with wealth or class, and is instead entirely about amassing a court purely via devotion/popularity; her subculture (which is like, Who You Hang Out With; drifters, goths, poets, debauchers, cowpokes, etc) is Babe; and her kind (which is like ancestries but in sapphicworld is really just like, a physical form, which u can change more or less at will) is Lunarthrope, which is basically a werewolf!! or more broadly a furry, since u always look like whatever were-animal you are 24/7. just MORE at night, tho i suppose i don't represent that aspect much in my cookie art... ANYWAY i am restraining myself from just sitting here and like. transcribing her entire character sheet. but basically what all this means is that cookie's role in the world (at least at the beginning of the campaign) is "Professionally — no, VOCATIONALLY Hot Person who everyone loves so so so so so so much." cookie really enjoys this role.

he's named cooking with gorgeous because he's an avid cook, and he wants to share that with you, and he's gorgeous!! though honestly the cooking hasn't ended up as important to his character as it was when i first came up with him, lol — but my initial concept was kind of like, what's the equivalent of a bouncy normie recipe blogger/lifestyle influencer but in the context of the lush horny trans deathless psychedelic universe of sapphicworld. and it's cooking with gorgeous, a doggirl dyke with big blue boobs (six of them!!) who is so devastatingly cute and darling that a bunch of people just kind of pledge their fealty to him for no real reason other than he feeds them. and is cute

also her name is def influenced by the fantastic names of many canon sapphicworld npcs! like, quick example list of some npc names off the top of my head: the booty commie, death cybernetic, princess eureka!, the culinary goof (whom cookie dislikes. btw.), pizza friday (whom cookie loves!!!)

cookie is very very determined, and she's ALMOST always very confident. even when she isn't feeling confident, she's still very good at forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other — maybe just while screaming or crying or uncontrollably barking or at least very ardently complaining. he has a tendency to be spoiled and, like, tactless-via-obliviousness, so sometimes he can be grating to interact with, and he has a petty/vindictive streak; but in general he's an AGGRESSIVELY kind person and usually aims all his shrill, cheerful stubbornness directly toward the goal of refusing to accept anything but the best for everyone.

at the beginning of our campaign cookie has JUST received a brand new castle!!!! (chateau gorgeous.) which he doesn't actually "own" bc, remember, no wealth or class in sapphicworld, but he's the ENTHUSIASTIC new caretaker and is chomping at the bit to renovate it so ppl can live there and he can throw a bunch of magnificent parties and basically continue living exactly as he has been, But Even More Fabulous. obviously this is exactly when the main plot threat of the campaign shows up and spoils everything and compels cookie to go on his First Ever Adventure!!!!!! she HAS to save the world otherwise NOBODY will be able to go to the first big party at chateau gorgeous :((((

at this point to prevent myself from just like, giving you guys a play by play of the entire campaign so far i am going to just start listing every cookie fact i can think of as bullet points

🎀 he owns a magical sword in the shape of a giant microplane. it's called The Microplane. he pronounces this "mee-crow-plah-nay"

🎀 george desperately wants to resurrect The Dog-Lich, an entity that once ruled over all beasts from its palace on the moon but was murdered and torn to pieces in a cosmic war far in the past. her attitude towards this desire is 50% devoted lunar cultist, 50% parasocially obsessive twitter stan

🎀 this isn't really a cookie fact but going back to how his title is The Noble Sweetheart — just for a glimpse at party composition, his fellow party members' titles are The Intimate Scholar, The Tentacle Advocate, and The Tw*nk Controversial (the * is the canon spelling).

^ aforementioned tw*nk. its name is Mwah ("pronounced like the kiss you blow at someone you just fucked over"). mwah is played by @/squiddelyfather on twitter!

🎀 mwah and cookie used to be very, very tight, BEFORE mwah became the tw*nk controversial. now that it's so.... you know.... controversial, well. they're still very close, but it has gotten a little stilted and weird (and watching them slowly un-weird it together as the campaign goes on has been one of my fav roleplay experiences ever honestly)

🎀 cookie's other adventuremates, skarligge and delaryn, are both very indulgent towards him. delaryn acts the most grumpy/dismissive about it but is honestly sometimes the worst about spoiling cookie out of anyone in the party (skarligge's player is twt@/clown_dream and delaryn's is twt@/glaiveguisarme and hey while im at it our fantastic gm is the sapphicworld dev, twt@/ddemoneclipse. hi guys i hope u don't mind me chattering abt ur ocs here lol it's just hard to talk abt the best of cookie w/o bringing up everyone else's characters and roleplay also!!!)

🎀 cookie is very VERY sensitive and will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. the precursor to this is her eyes getting So So So Big And Wet And Round. one of my favorite bits to menace the other party members with is when something is not going cookie's way i will lean into my mic and say "cookie's eyes are getting so so so big. they're getting so big and wet and round and shiny. they're so so round and fucking big her eyes are like big wet black glass marbles" and this is like kryptonite to them. this is like getting hit with deadly radiation

🎀 oh speaking of fashion!!!! one of cookie's perks from being a Babe is that she can always change her look whenever she wants. she will ALWAYS have whatever outfit she needs and can quickchange instantly. wait this reminds me i have a bunch of seasonal holiday outfits sketched out and i don't think i've ever posted them here but it'll only let me put one more image in this post. well here have this one

🎀 okay well suddenly i have forgotten all other george facts so that's all for now!!! from now on i will try to just dump oc facts like this more often tho this is really fun. ty for getting me going lol!!!

[dipperdesperado]

Notes Towards Anti-Authoritarian Victories: Distributed Resistance

TLDR: Distributed communities are a way to create a more equitable and sustainable society. We should decentralize and distribute power, resources, and decision-making. This comes from an emphasis on cooperation, restorative justice, and dismantling oppressive structures. Part of this process is honestly and earnestly exploring the role (and necessity) of the dialectic between violence and nonviolence in social change. There has to be a genuine embodiment of solidarity and diverse tactics. Two strategic frameworks for organizing resistance to explore and expand upon are encircling campaigns and the Fabian strategy. The overall goal is to build autonomous, resilient, and ethical movements. We have to challenge the status quo to create a more just world.

Distributed Communities

One of my main goals for how I interact with the world is to be a source of joy and hope for myself and others. Part of that is creating spaces for joy and hope. To create those spaces, we have to eradicate institutionalized spaces of despair and sadness. I’m not looking for a world without challenges…I’m just interested in finding realistic utopias, as opposed to the dystopic conditions we currently reside in. So, how do we get there, to a solarpunk world of dreams? First, let’s talk about where we are.

Centralization: The Anti-Life Equation

I’m not sure if you all are into comic books or anything like that, but I’ve always loved animated superhero shows and movies. Back when I was young, there was a DC show with a character called Darksied. His whole villainly motivation is to find the Anti-Life Equation. This is a math proof that essentially is meant to take away free will from living beings. Something about it is to prove the futility of living, therefore saying that people should just be controlled. Sound familiar?

Most people, especially from a Marxian tradition/understanding (so most sociologists and leftists), would say that this describes capitalism. Capitalism, as a reminder, is a system that functions most commonly off of two maxims: Private property rights (most notably towards the means of production, and as opposed to personal property) and wage labor. Many folks have argued, and I’d agree, that this system of withholding access to resources and goods across enforced property lines is bad, and stifles self-actualization. I want to go a bit further, though. I think that the underlying tendency that motivates capitalism, the imaginal cell spurring all of the negative emergent behaviors we see now is centralization.

Centralization is, as it sounds, about bringing “something” towards the center. In our case, that is power and access to resources and decisions. Centralization runs counter to nature. Though we apply our ideas of centralization onto nature, there is no true king of the jungle. Lions don’t “command” gazelle. And even if they did, us, as more conscious beings, can do better. Centralization is deterministic and linear instead of pluralistic and dynamic; it assumes that since people have differences that there have to be power distributions based on those differences. It’s Social Darwinism at its finest. Command-and-control social organization is pyramidal, and, no matter how “representative” the structure is, it inherently reinforces power distribution along lines of difference, creating and reifying social hierarchy.

Decentralization: A Light at the end of the Tunnel

Something that I and other folks struggle with is the pervasive nature of centralization. If it sucks for most people, as we know, then why is the entire world’s levers of power and influence pointed towards that? It seems like it has to be this way, otherwise we would be doing something else, right? Sadly, no. We, as people, are very susceptible to the systems that we interact with. We all live under centralizing systems of domination, coercion, and oppression, so our version of reality is warped by those experiences. But, just because we’re in a bad situation, doesn’t mean things have to stay that way. We’ve grown around these systems, and while they shape our thinking, they also create the fertile ground for their undoing. Subjects tend to not enjoy subjugation.

Decentralization is the antithesis of centralization. Decentralizing radically reorients power and access from a competitive, zero sum game, to a cooperative game. Even if you like competition, and you think it’s a necessary part of human nature (which it isn’t), we’re way past the point where stuff like that is useful. That’s assuming that it ever was, which I am skeptical about. The dog eat dog mentality, if nothing else, is destroying the Earth for profit. That alone, since we all need a functioning biosphere to…function, should be a searing indictment of the logics that underscore nation-states and capitalism.

By operating in a decentralized way, where we reorient our organizations to have power flow from the bottom up, we can enable more agile and resilient communities. It’ll not only give people more power to steer their lives (as opposed to hoping their boss or representative government official is a “nice guy”), but will allow society to continue existing, albeit in a new form.

Distribution: A Strong Network Flexes its Muscles

Decentralization is great, but if we’re not careful, it can just become like ancient times, where little city states have conflicts with each other, acting as little centralized pockets of power, even though they don’t have as much power over society as a whole. We want to be able to have connections with other communities and parts of society, without resorting to domination, coercion, and oppression. This can happen through distributing power across the network of communities, focusing on the goal of giving each individual the maximum autonomy in their lives. It looks like this: each person can live their life however they want, as long as it doesn’t impede others from doing the same. The same can be said on every level, from the block, to the neighborhood, to the city, and beyond.

This necessitates cooperation, as no one can provide all of their needs and wants by themselves. It also necessitates being militantly against domination, oppression, and coercion…people who are looking to cause harm do not get to claim that they are practicing autonomy. We have to do the hard work of practicing restorative and transformative justice. When people violate the autonomy of others, there has to be a victim-led response process, with a goal towards healing the victim, and supporting the betterment of the perpetrator if possible.

How we get there

Now, I haven’t gone in a ton of depth, since I don’t want to be super prescriptive as to what this new space could look like. That might leave a lot to be desired, in terms of a framework from how to get from here (a crumbling, decaying society that is looking to centralize more before it implodes) to there (a decentralized-distributed society where everyone’s needs and wants are met in an ecologically and socially harmonious way). My short answer is…power distribution. If we use this idea as an imaginal cell in our process and as the road on which we travel, we have a chance to create a situation where we can get the benefits of the olden days of city states (if you don’t like a place, you could just dip!), and most of the benefits of modern society, but spread out to each person. We probably won’t be able to see the levels of luxury of billionaires, or maybe even the lower end of the capitalist class, but we will all have a much, much better shot of living our lives in an actualizing way. Who knows what we can discover about ourselves in that kind of space?

Distribution as resilience

One of the great things about moving power away from central nodes is that it makes the system more resilient! A great example would be power grids. Imagine if your power grid for your town or city was centralized in one big plant, and everything was powered from there. If someone wanted to destroy your city’s electricity, they would just have to be able to take out the hub. Then, your city is blacked out, and there’s not a lot of ways to get that kind of critical infrastructure back.

Decentralization is a step better, but it can repeat the same things on a smaller scale. The most resilient option is for there to be a distribution of power generation (in the most sustainable way possible). We should always tend towards distribution—as much as reality would allow us.

What should be distributed, what should be decentralized?

Going back to the question of how we get from here to there, we have to face the reality that social change movements face repression from the status quo. Also, given the history of these movements, there are a lot of cases of co-option, and an incomplete version of the goal. In other words, we may not have the chance to prefigure the world we want to build before it is threatened by the old world. So, how do we uphold our values, while being strong enough to survive?

An important thing is to see this for what it is, a conflict. We have to engage as if we are facing an enemy, because we are. We also have to realize that, especially in a centralizing structure, our ire, in general, should not be for the foot soldiers but for structures and ideologies. We have a chance to win people over. It’s a lot harder for folks who are benefiting from the machine. This is not to say that we don’t acknowledge the harm that they cause. I mean to point out that if we get stuck in conflict with oppressive people and we don’t attack oppressive structures, we lose out on the ability to get decisive victories.

Another important piece is to not be dogmatic. We have to figure out our foundational principles and values, be honest about what we’re doing, and work hard to ensure we orient around short term gains that lead to long term successes, rather than quick fixes that endanger our progress in the long run. We want to know what works, but not be married to something. By thinking systemically, we can approach things in a diversity of effective tactics. This may mean that we occupy multiple parts of the centralization-distribution spectrum, depending on the area of focus.

In general, the more clandestine the operation, the more distributed it should be. Clandestine operations tend to be centralizing, so if we approach them from the opposite end of the spectrum we could potentially avoid the pitfalls. We also probably should never tend towards centralization, because that is a surefire way to destroy anything we create. Powermongers should just go work in the mainstream system if that’s their desire. Places where power tends to centralize, we should distribute, while being open to and welcoming of decentralization where it makes sense. An example could be: instead of every household having a personal car and coordinating sharing with each other (distributed), we could have car libraries that people check cars out from (decentralized). The most important thing to remember with any initiative that the goal is to make sure that power is not centralizing, even if there is a central place where resources exist.

Distributed Resistance

Violence

I want to switch gears and lean more into a side of world-change that people either knee jerk towards (”capital R” revolution) or away from (3.5% nonviolent resistance to social change nonsense). Let’s talk about violence.

Violence, as the state defines it, is something like physical force used to damage or destroy someone or something. That seems…reasonable, maybe, but let’s go a little bit deeper. Is it violent to commit non-physical harm, such as repeated verbal accosting? Is it violence to commit physical harm, when it’s on a time delay? It’s easy to point out immediate violence, like punching someone or burning something. It’s a lot harder when it’s a company putting carbon in the air, causing respiratory issues hundreds of miles away, the symptoms of which don’t show until years after the factory shut down. What about self-defense? How do we define that? Can violence be justified? Should justified violence even be labeled as violence?

There are a lot of questions to answer, but one thing is clear—a diversity of tactics is important. There also has to be solidarity. MLK and Malcom X understood how important each other’s tactics were to the success of the movement as a whole. Even if they didn’t reach the heights of their desires, that is an important lesson we can take away. If we act like nonviolence is unimportant, or act like “violence” is too far no matter what (like saying that hitting a nazi makes you no better), it makes our movements weaker. Like any tactic, it should be used tactically, not wantonly. We shouldn’t encourage fighting if its very unlikely to win (unless we have no other choice), and we shouldn’t encourage pacifism because of some short-sighted and self-defeating moral high-grounding.

An Occupying Force

A way that helps me think of our situation as people who want to help bring about new paradigms that directly conflict of the prevailing ones is framing it as if we are under military occupation. I mean, that’s basically the primary function of the state…that monopoly on violence. In my view, framing it like this makes a lot of the tactical orientation that I was discussing before make sense. When you are an occupied community, you very clearly see the subjugation that’s taking place. How “nice” your occupiers are is of little import; the fact that they’re there is transgression enough. Since we don’t have access to the “legitimate” flows of power (and if we did, we couldn’t use them to liberatory ends), we have to think differently. This is where operating as guerrillas comes in.

OODA Loop

Guerrillas are small groups that fight asymmetrically against a more powerful opponent. With us being tiny right now, it’s worthwhile to figure out how to fight in a way that makes our weaknesses into strengths. One method into this is the OODA loop. OODA stands for observe, orient, decide, and act. It’s a method for making strategic decisions in an iterative way. We observe our surrounding, circumstances, and current data. We then orient ourselves to our situation, making judgements based on that information. We decide what to do based on those judgements, and then we act upon those decisions, constantly iterating to make new decisions. The size and structure of decentralized and distributed organizations allows for iteration to happen more quickly, leading to an advantage over slower centralized structures.

Generally, the path I see to success is through operating via a distributed model of autonomous units, coordinating only when necessary, while also keeping the information network alive as is pertinent, and an alignment on vision and values. By any means necessary, but not all means. Especially if the group is operating as a singular organization, a la the ELF or ALF, ideally there would not be people that do tactics that violate that maxim. Means-ends unity is how we create the world we want. We can’t get liberation by exuding oppression.

Formations for Resistance

Before I leave, I want to list a couple strategic frameworks for organizing. The ones I’ll focus on are:

Encircling (i’ve discussed this in another post)

Fabian Strategy and Ethical Guerilla Warfare

Encircling

Encircling is when you surround an enemy in a way that doesn’t allow them to escape. You leave them two options: surrender or defeat. My conception of how this relates to organizing is that you take an issue that you’re trying to respond to (usually a system of oppression), and you encircle it with campaigns running in parallel. A campaign is like a series of actions/tactics, employed over a period of time. Since systems of oppression are…systemic, you would take a systems approach. You would work cross-functionally, looking for leverage points to exploit, and exploit those. My basic outline is that you’d have a campaign that starts off very non-confrontational, making appeals to the system of authority, and as that doesn’t yield “capital S” success (you can’t vote in socialism or decentralization), you ratchet up the confrontation, though only to the level that you can handle. It acts as a radicalization pipeline, strengthened by the results of the other campaigns. There would also be an extreme campaign, where folks are doing as confrontational of actions as they are willing to do. The rest of the campaigns would be in the middle, where they are relatively confrontational, moving towards heightened confrontation. Everything is moving into a more militant direction, where people are learning their power.

Fabian Strategy and Ethical Guerrillas

The Fabian strategy gets its name from Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus, a dictator of Rome. His army was fighting against the much more well-equipped army of Carthage, so he opted for fighting a war of attrition. This sounds a lot like the situation social movements are in. It can be easy to think we have to fight might with might, but it’s a senseless and undesirable approach to try to outgun the state. We can use a guerilla orientation to organize in ways that highlight our strengths while exploiting their weaknesses. Building on this strategy will allow us to grow our movements and continue to fight, while simultaneously making it harder to put the movement down.

I also advocate for an ethical approach to this fight. By any means necessary, but not by all means available. There are certain actions that won’t yield us the results we want, and there are other actions that can only be useful in concert with other actions and campaigns. Broadly speaking, we want to minimize the harm caused to folks while maximizing the disruptions to the status quo. Here are some ways we can do this, some of which intersects and overlaps with the encircling framework:

Focus on grassroots organizing and building community power from the ground up. We have to think like stewards and coordinators rather than leaders; our strength comes not from a being a tiny centralized group, but an autonomous network of agents.

We build up our capacity, by creating multiple levels of engagement into the movement. we can combine non-confrontational tactics where we gradually increase disruption as support grows with giving support to more militant segments. This leads to a continual, dynamic (see nonlinear) process of education, advocacy, construction, and disruption.

Think about how to disrupt the status quo in a way that doesn’t target the oppressed. Instead of prevent public transportation or emergency vehicles from being able to travel, maybe focus on lavish events where some really terrible decisions are being made by oppressors at the expense of the oppressed. Actions can simultaneously be symbolic and direct.

Plan targets systemically. Keep the guillotine away. We don’t get our problems solved just by attacking elements within a system. If a leverage point ends up being a specific person… be very sure about understanding how to interact in a way that gets you the results that you want. Tactically and ethically, it becomes very hard to justify targeted attacks.

Uphold solidarity and mutual support among allies while respecting a diversity of tactics. Our analysis should be expansive enough to allow any tactics that could work within our ethical framework to be permissible, even if we personally don’t feel comfortable doing those tactics. As I said before: it’s not “anything goes”, its “we have to be willing to do anything we can that doesn’t violate our ends to achieve our means”.

If people can’t get behind your ideas, then your ideas need to be reexamined. Everyone has a horse in this race. People have to be able to understand that they have power as individuals and collectives, along with how to use it in non-coercive and non-oppressive ways. Meeting people where there at, showing up in real solidarity, and putting your ideas into practice goes way further than an isolated philosophical conversation.

We also have to keep fighting. This doesn’t mean that we are constantly ourselves fighting—through building distributed movements, we can take breaks and be sure that the network still functions. We won’t be able to create a new world in a single move, but through persistence, critical review, and intelligent strategy, we can grow and tend the seeds of change.

I hope this was interesting to ya. It’s a little different topically and format-wise than what I usually do, so let me know if this was interesting or useful. Solidarity forever 🙂

[ceeridwen99]

BG3 Companion Endings !!Rant!!

Hello there.

I...I just need to get some things off my chest, and this seems like as good of a place to do it as I will get.

So, exactly 100 hours of documented time into my campaign, and I'm about to start a fresh game because I don't want to finish act 3.

Let me explain. Also !!!!*SPOILERS*!!!!!

This may be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but the conclusions to a lot of the questlines, once we reach BG, are either unsatisfying or utter trash. My main gripe comes from the choices--or lack there fucking of--when it comes to the conclusion of certain companion questlines.

(Note: This is NOT a post about whatever companion ending one thinks is "good" vs "evil". I honestly don't give a shit about what endings people choose for their games. My issues come from the endings themselves.)

This stems from my main group setup, Shadowheart, Karlach, and, of course, Astarion (also my romance). I played a bard!Tav. It goes without saying that I love all the companions, even the ones that I didn't mainly use. They're all beautifully layered and I love that they are actually influenced by your playthrough...for the most part.

We'll get there in a moment.

My point is, after spending a good 100 hours with these characters, you end up caring a great deal about them. I really looked forward to seeing how their arcs were going to come to a head when we finally reached BG...

Act 1: Phenomenal.

Act 2: Fucking Fantastic.

Act 3: What the hell was that!

Never mind the complete and utter lack of pacing in the third act compared to the first two, what the hell are those questline endings?! I've never been so fucking disappointed and furious in my life. Again, this isn't a post about "good" vs "evil", but my irritation that NONE of the endings are good, or in my case, satisfying.

For a game that really stresses choices mattering (and for the most part they do to a certain point), it really suffers from Telltale syndrome in its final act, where none of the choices actually end up mattering, but in truth, you're pigeon-holed into two, and if you're lucky three endings.

Shadowheart's ending (in the Selune path) is either losing her parents but freeing her from Shar's control. Or gaining her parents but being tortured for the rest of her life. I don't even want to go into the Shar ending.

Karlach's ending is just fucking sad no matter which choice you make, and even the patched ending--supposedly giving us a better conclusion--is just bittersweet.

ASTARION'S FUCKING ENDING! Oh my god, his fucking ending is either selling his soul and the souls of seven thousand innocent people to not get a fucking sunburn. OR being banished back into the shadows and releasing seven thousand feral spawn into the world-- because yeah that sounds like a fucking good idea. Even if you don't release them, you have a choice between leaving them behind to rot or fucking killing them, but in this instance, their lives really would have been for nothing. By the end of this questline (and it is beautifully acted I'll give it that) I just sat there with a pit in my stomach feeling like I fucked up somehow no matter what ending I chose. To top it off, I learned that we don't even get any information at the end about how our choices affect the world after! What the hell!

Even Wyll's quest! Why the fuck an "I" of all people making this choice for him?! Where the fuck is the option to make him choose, or even ask him what he thinks/wants. In fact, where is the option to make anyone choose for themselves? Only Shadowheart (I found) really has one during her quest.

I find it really hard to believe that one could write such complex characters with strong, differing, opinions--so strong that they will leave the party if they dislike your actions too much--but then make them rely on the PC to make the most important decisions in their fucking lives. This is such fucking lazy writing and a cop-out. All of the conversations, all of the growth, really is just boiled down to "What do you as the player want for them?" *feral scream*

More than this, why the hell are there only two (maybe three at the max) options in the first place? You give us dozens of ways to resolve quests in acts 1 and 2, and yet, here is where you want to pull the "Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, everyone has to lose something to gain something in return" bullshit? What the hell, Larian!

Don't get me wrong. I'm a writer. I get that narrative. But not here. Not in a game like this. In a game like this, these "choices" feel like a slap in the face. This is DND, there are always more than two to three ways to solve something.

I know there are limitations. I know this doesn't have a DM who can make adjustments to the story on the fly to give an ending based purely on your choices. Even so, it is still highly disappointing (even more so for someone who plays DND and is a DM). I was so mad after these questline conclusions that it soured my playthrough. I don't want to finish this campaign because what's the point when I know the people I've spent 100 hours with, are going to get the short end of the stick no matter what I choose.

I went and looked at spoilers for the main story ending after this, and that just pissed me off more. Two or three endings and a piss-poor epilogue are what we get. Not even credit slides to let us know how our choices actually affected the world in the end. Why. Why. I don't even want to mention how dirty they did Astarion. That wasn't funny. Just fucking sad.

This game is overall a 10/10 for me when it comes to acts 1 and 2. It's fantastic. But Act 3 is a solid 2/10 for me, I'm sorry. There isn't enough content to fill the third act out either. I don't know if my game is bugged, but I can barely find any quests outside of what's picked up in Acts 1 and 2 and it's making running around the city seem aimless.

In conclusion, I'm mad and sad. At this point, I'm just going to replay acts 1 and 2 until this supposed Definitive Edition Larian is apparently good at putting out for their games irons out these inconsistencies, hopefully. (This post is just about companions, I also have many issues with the main story. *sigh*)

At least there is plenty of content in the first two acts to keep one busy, and even with 100 hours, I know I haven't seen everything. I'm also curious to know if my perspective of the third act will change with the Dark Urge, as I've heard good things about them being closer connected to the plot.

Who knows, we'll see.

Lol, this isn't how I expected to come back to this blog. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant.

Final disclaimer: Please remember this isn't about "good" vs "evil" endings. Also, if this is not at all how you felt, I'm glad you had a better experience than I did lol.

Alright, time to go write AU/homebrew fanfiction.

Stay tuned. ;)

[anonymousad]

crowdfund review: Shelterwood

Shelterwood has been on my radar for a while, since last year when they were casting (I think it was last year, but at this point we're over midway through this one so it may have been more recently). there have been rumblings about it for a while, lots of people intrigued by the initial pitch of "suburban gothic horror", so it's already gotten a bit of traction. I was unsurprised to see it announce a crowdfund. even more unsurprised to see certain aspects of it weren't up to snuff.

as usual, the link: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/shelterwood-a-suburban-gothic

so let's start as we always do...

(Un)Realistic Goals

what is with this $26,000 number, I'm serious was there a memo that went around to all of you saying this was a magic number???

genuinely, I find it especially odd when you consider that this is the exact same amount that Arden season 3 was asking for, and that is a show that is very established with prior crowdfunding success to base it off of. and I still thought it was a lot to be asking for them as people who had proven to their fans the quality they would provide.

Shelterwood is a project helmed by Stephen Indrisano (he/they), sometimes known as Indrisano Audio. I believe this is his first project as a writer, but on their website you can find other credits for both acting and sound design. of note, he is part of the team for Re: Dracula. suddenly why they think that giant number is acceptable makes a lot more sense, doesn't it? has Tal advice written all over it.

you know we will come back to this number in the budget section, but once again I will say that a "flexible goal" is not a bad thing, but maybe it's a sign that you should set a more realistic goal and then have stretch goals on top. I went pretty in-depth on the reasoning behind that in the Arden crowdfund review (that none of you read), but again.

we'll come back to this number.

Video Time

exactly 1 minute long, a reasonable ask of any prospective backer's time. but it's not about the campaign. this is a teaser trailer that goes on the podcast feed with a video component. honestly, the video aspect is not bad, it's a live action attempt to show off the general vibe and energy with actual clips of the show playing. has the same amateur energy of a lot of short films I would say, but sometimes that's charming. and the clips used are good, they tell the story of what to expect and the framing of it.

but it's not about the campaign.

a brief mention at the end with a link is all you get, and honestly that should have just been saved for the text portion of the post. most ideally, that's the INTRO of your video and after that first minute you have a call to action that actually says more.

good information to include:

time frame of the campaign

amount looking for

mention the passion of the team working on it

you can even mention influences here, but like one or two. keep it brief if you're going to

technically the video never even asks you to support the campaign, just that it is "crowdfunding now" and you can follow the url for more details. not much of a call to action to actually get people to take a look.

the ideas they executed on in the video are done well, but you can tell it wasn't really thought about how to make this work for the crowdfund so much as it would for just making me follow the RSS feed ahead of launch.

The Story and People

What Is Shelterwood: A Suburban Gothic?

as stated in their description, Shelterwood: A Suburban Gothic is a 16-part "Docu-Horror Podcast" (not sure why they capitalize those words to be honest). up front this is really good important information that will be immediately helpful in telling someone whether they will be interested in the project. there are plenty of people in the community with strong feelings one way or the other on the "docu-series" style, and being this clear about it is a good thing. for some they'll be more excited, and others will know this isn't worth their time and be able to move on (which isn't really a loss because even if you got them to read further they wouldn't likely give money anyway).

also love to see the length of the series being stated clearly here. "a 16-part" length tells me the most important information I need about the scope of the campaign. in part because it implies that this money will cover the production of the ENTIRE series, rather than later having them come back and go "hey, we actually are doing two seasons of 8 episodes each so we need another $26k to finish the story". that better not be what fucking happens, I swear

moving on, we are introduced to the writer/producer I mentioned above, Stephen Indrisano (he/they) (along with a link to his website, thank you for showing that people can very easily add hyperlinks in these sections). this section doesn't say anymore about Stephen or their personal qualifications to be asking for this much money and trust, but if you follow through to the website you can see credits for things they've been involved with on the production side. it would be better to not have to go elsewhere or dig for this kind of thing, when you are asking for a sum this large in any setting there is an expectation of proving that you can be trusted with it. and that comes down to more than the people you bring on board to help, it matters specifically with regards to the showrunner themself.

so why should I trust that Stephen can create a product so professional it needs $26,000 USD? at this point there's no reason. but let's keep going.

very brief one sentence description of the plot, not a bad thing to have but it could be fleshed out a little more to have some of the interesting details that were alluded to in the video trailer. again, not everyone will watch your trailer, sometimes when I see a campaign I'm in public or otherwise unable to listen to something and so will skip something with sound. plus it's less accessible to not have a written component (though it does look like care was taken to make sure the youtube captions were accurate, something very easily overlooked by even full-time video creators), but that does still require someone hitting play on a video they might not be able to.

we get a short list of inspirations, including two other well-known podcasts and an iconic horror video game, and then a description of "one part Gothic, one part Found Footage, and one hundred percent terrifying." which is not a bad tagline, but I'm still thrown by the weird capitalization going on here, that might just be a me thing.

Who Is Involved With This?

here's where we get some cast and crew and the standard name dropping you might expect from this type of production. it isn't necessarily trying to coast on the people involved and their success, buuuuttttt kind of a little it is. honestly I don't blame campaigns for doing this to an extent, even fans of a thing don't always remember the names of the people behind it.

it is always a bit suspicious to see name drops without additional context however.

we all know you put The Magnus Archives first as an attention grab, even though you only have one actor from that show who did a very good job but wasn't at all responsible for it being so beloved. Alasdair is great, but people need to stop coasting on his willingness to do smaller projects as a way to make themselves look more important.

of the 8 people listed in the crew section (which when it comes to quality of the finished product is who tends to matter more), I recognize and can connect 3 of them to other projects, and only two of those in a significant aspect. now that doesn't have to mean anything, but for me it does make me ask questions and want to dig into what the rest have done before to get a sense of the quality of the final production.

a small thing: it is also weird that within the crew section Stephen is the only one not with a crew related credit. obviously we've already been told he wrote it, but I'm not sure why it isn't still included when two other people in that section have both a cast and crew role listed.

I will say that the graphic looks nice, but I've brought up before how IndieGoGo doesn't seem to have any kind of alt text feature and so when you have an image with a lot of information you should keep that in mind. all of these people are only listed on the image, not in the text. the only thing that gets the text with links out treatment is the shows that Shelterwood is bragging about their talent being from. just something I thought I'd point out, if it's about the people then you should highlight the PEOPLE.

as much as I would like to, I'm not gong to dig into each of the credentials of the people listed here, cast or crew. people deserve to be given chances even if they're new to the scene (every gig is someone's first gig), and my personal desire to know how "qualified" each of them is is ENTIRELY coming from the amount of money being asked for. for even a $10,000 goal I would not be asking all these questions, there is just a threshold after which I get really suspicious and feel that justification is necessary. which they try to do a bit in the budget section.

but let's move onto the next bit, I don't think there is all that much to comment on as far as actors except what I've already said about clout.

Campaign Rewards and Goodies

let's talk tiers and perks.

the Shelterwood campaign has a total of 9 tiers, ranging from $5 at the lowest up to $1,000. you already know what's coming when we hit that one

so first of all, I think the sidebar tier scroll is REALLY good. the images for each level are unique and eye-catching, and help add to the general feel that the show is going for. scrolling through them really helps paint the picture for the Stepford energy to expect from this fictional neighborhood. each image also good theming, relating to the different aspects of being part of a neighborhood, from "Architect" to "Licensed Realtor". very good job on that, it adds to the fun of the experience and telling your friends about the level you backed at. especially if you want to make jokes about this being the only homeowner adjacent status you can afford.

the tier descriptions are a little more verbose when you are actually looking at the options for selection, so I'm going to be referring to what is written there. I will point out if there is any substantial difference between that and the main text of the campaign, but for the most part it seems to just be an additional sentence and small wording tweaks.

NOTE: every tier includes all the rewards that are part of the prior tiers, I will not be pointing this out for all of them because that just gets repetitive and makes this even longer than it needs to be.

$5 PROSPECTIVE BUYER - a reasonable intro tier, and honestly anything lower doesn't seem to get many people on board anyway. a tip jar type $1-3 tier always seems like a good idea, but I doubt it's making up enough of the funding to justify itself when it comes down to it. but let's look at what's in this first bit of goods:

a pack of digital wallpapers - could be interesting based on the types of images we've been shown so far in relation to the campaign, and honestly it's a nice extra at this basic tier that a lot of campaigns will reserve for $20+

supporter updates through development - this is very vague and will probably come down to the way that all crowdfunding campaigns post updates. something that can usually be seen by people whether or not they backed your campaign, so I don't actually think this an exclusive anything for being a supporter. but at this tier price that's fine enough honestly.

supporter exclusive discord - perfectly reasonable to place here, helps even the backers who can't give much to feel like they are able to be part of and support the project as it becomes reality.

$15 NEW NEIGHBOR - the jump from $5 to $15 is a little odd to me, but I guess if you are trying to keep the number of tiers lower and already know your high point it is okay. personally the difference between offering $5 and $10 is a much easier choice to bump up as a supporter than going all the way to $15.

personalized shout-out on Twitter and/or Tumblr - to be fair, this was before the latest Twitter meltdown, so offering that was not quite as pathetic a couple weeks ago. BUT this is still a pretty sad upgrade for tripling your pledge?

$30 LONG-TIME RESIDENT - this has the same price increase issue as the last, there's just something about going up to $30 versus $25 that feels odd? harder to justify, sometimes numbers don't feel linear when it comes to money

curated recommendations - "everything you need to understand who we are and why" is a very vague description of what this might contain. I'm assuming we're talking books, movies, tv-shows, video games, other podcasts, and music that helped inspire the show. which honestly is fun, I don't mind that, it's just being extremely vague about it. $50 says House of Leaves is on there (no hate, it's a very important piece of architectural horror).

Haunted House micro-zine - UH OH. we all remember what this means, right? we all saw the absolutely PITIFUL micro-zine that went out to Re: Dracula supporters and with many of the same people involved here that is definitely the level of quality to expect (shoddy folding, clip art ass looking artwork, copy-pasted stuff from the web vs original content, misaligned printing, etc). granted, I think this is a PDF version (not that it specifies that itself, just based on the full tier description that says "a printable first step into the neighborhood"), but still. that zine was also at the $30 level and there were people really disappointed with it. I am not going to link to the Twitter thread in which one of the people involved with the campaign actively searched for and found a post with no hashtags or tags and proceeded to put them on blast to their own thousands of followers. but I want you all to know that I remember that happening, and it IS going to become relevant again at some point in the future.

UPDATE: right has I was doing my final checks of the campaign to make sure my images were up to date for this and things were still as I expected, an update was posted. an update that in part pertains to the micro-zine. I think everything I wrote above (and below about the physical version) is still relevant, BUT specifics of that will be revealed and discussed right before the end of this post if you want to jump down there and take a look at what I have to say now.

$50 LICENSED REALTOR - jumping up another $20 so that they can print out two sheets of paper and add 3 random stickers to send you

printed versions of the curated recommendations and micro-zine - you know what, they did at least learn that a printed copy of their zine was NOT worth going at the $100 tier. so they did make one improvement.

3 random stickers - stickers are nice and easy and can be sent worldwide for pretty cheap. a good thing to have, I just also usually like to see what these stickers might look like. in this case, that would be especially helpful because you are only getting 3 of the 5 designs, and it might actually help a backer decide to up their tier level because they really want to make sure they get the ones they want.

$100 DEVELOPMENT INVESTOR - for adding $50 to your pledge (doubling it) you can get some really boring shit:

all 5 stickers - adds the other two stickers! wow, thanks. totally worth it...

a signed, printed script page - a.... single page? for $50??? I'm sorry, but what the fuck are you doing. this is an INSULTING reward for someone giving you $100. that may not be a lot of money to some people, but especially right now during a huge economic downturn? that's just pathetic.

UPDATE: while it isn't listed here (which should be updated by them when they see this), as part of Campaign Update #2 (which I cover near the bottom of this behemoth post) there was an additional perk added to this tier and above: "a unique page of blackout poetry from a book that influenced the show" - I have no strong opinions on blackout poetry. I still don't think that this makes this tier worth it, but at least they recognize how pathetic it is that it needs a little more of a boost to look appealing.

as an aside: here's some examples of $100 backer rewards that I've seen on campaigns and think ARE worth it:

Syntax - both an annotated full script AND a personalized voice message from any cast member AND credit shout-out (not even counting the earlier included rewards such as an exclusive enamel pin and AMA)

Red Valley - a signed and bound FULL SCRIPT

Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason - an autographed FULL episode script AND a t-shirt

juuussssttttt some food for thought.

but let's continue on, I'm sure nothing else will be questionable here. can you feel the sarcasm coming off of me in waves, even across an ocean I hope you can sense it

$150 HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION MEMBER - add another $50 for an exclusive poster (which honestly seems pretty reasonable especially when you consider how much international shipping is and production costs of a nice print. assuming the print is high quality, but you never know with this stuff until someone gets it)

an exclusive poster - again, would love to see a design. and maybe measurement details would be nice? I am really glad to see that the artist is named and linked to. the lack of credit I've seen on some campaigns for things they've hired out for is a really disappointing thing, so I am genuinely very happy to see a link to the artist's gallery. it gives a good idea of the style without giving away the mystery (if we want to give the benefit of the doubt that it is supposed to be a fun "mystery" what you will receive) as well as introducing people to an artist who may have other work they would enjoy and like to support. big A+ for that, seriously. the bar is really low on some of this shit.

$250 ARCHITECT - fucking hell, we're jumping up a full $100 now, time for the big leagues benefits

limited edition t-shirt - honestly I can't believe that they decided to put the t-shirt behind a $250 paywall. absolutely absurd, especially after I pointed out that it was included at the $100 tier for a campaign like Two Flat Earthers. I'm serious, do you know how cheap it is to print on demand a t-shirt? it's not dirt cheap, but it is NOT $250 tier level. I am unsurprised that at this point only one person has backed at this tier.

personalized thank you note from writer/creator - this is a nice reward, but again why do you think it is worth enough to be a $250 tier perk? especially when we all know that a "thank you note" can just be a one sentence thing with your name plugged into it. doesn't even say anything about being an exclusive postcard design or anything else that might make it worth it. Stephen might just go to Sam's Club or Costco and bulk buy a box of generic thank you cards to fill out.

$500 CHAIRPERSON OF THE ASSOCIATION - here's where things get a little more interesting

name a character or location in the show - this kind of thing is fine, my one hang up is just that sometimes these things are so fleeting or hidden that they barely qualify as a fun easter egg? we all know that this isn't going to be naming something important, and that's okay, I just hope that it's going to be naming something that is actually audible and noticeable at some point in the show.

one-of-a-kind "production ephemera" - this is a very neat perk that could also be really fucking disappointing. I think to make something like this appropriately exciting you need to give a specific example, more than saying "such as a prop from the video". especially when you use a term like "ephemera" there is an implication of it being something really neat and unusual and you should want to be selling that idea more explicitly. I do genuinely like this reward though, I think it IS relatively appropriate for this level of contribution and could be something really special. could be.

NOTE: this is the first tier where I feel the need to bring up that there are no limits on the number of backers at each level. I think for most physical goods that can get produced it isn't a huge deal to leave it open because a lot of that stuff is going to be made to whatever number is needed without much issue. but when you get into the territory of a "one-of-a-kind" good, there are going to be limitations on what is classified as being good enough to give away. if you get 30 backers at this level, but only 10 of the items are really worth it, you are doing a huge disservice. capping these numbers can also entice people to jump on them for fear of missing out on the one-time opportunity, so it can in fact be beneficial. for example, the Red Valley campaign I posted earlier capped their 3 highest tiers (10, 10, and 5) and sold out of ALL of them. granted, their highest tier was $328 USD (£250 GBP) and not $1000, but still.

$1000 TOWN FOUNDER - who could have guessed that the big $1k tier was once again a vanity Executive Producer credit.

Executive Producer credit - wow. I'm so shocked by this. truly this is the fallback reward of so many campaigns and is so fundamentally USELESS. stop trying to sell people a vanity title, it's gross and doesn't mean shit, and muddies the waters when it comes to the actual creatives who are involved. stop making me point this out. the fact that some people are willing to pay for this does not make it less of a skeezy scam.

[listed] in all show notes and transcripts - there is a typo here that says "listen" instead of "listed", not a huge deal it just made me do a double-take and wonder if I was in fact correctly understanding this reward. initially I read it as "oh cool, they actually get to listen in on some production stuff maybe?" only to realize that no. it's just more shit for the vanity title.

verbal thank you at end of all episodes - generally this is a nice tier reward, but again is it worth $1000? I also pointed out above that the Syntax campaign had this as a $100+ reward, which feels much more reasonable. this does again also bring back the thought of putting limits on the number of backers, because do you really want to potentially be reading dozens of names at the end of every episode? granted at this high of a tier that was never likely, but I did point this out for my Arden write-up which had it included at a tier far too low to leave open.

notably missing things:

any images - literally anything to show off potential rewards. I pointed it out at those tiers, but having a reward for 3 out of 5 random stickers and not showing ANY of the stickers? why would I even think about backing higher to get all of them when I have no idea what I'm missing out on.

any mentions of ad-free episodes - maybe they aren't planning to put ads on the podcast anyway, but worth pointing out that it isn't mentioned anywhere

early access to episodes - this one is usually a staple, weird to find it absent when it's such an easy draw

behind the scenes content - currently there is no indication that they have any kind of platform where they might share behind the scenes stuff, and it isn't a required thing. but I know a lot of people ARE interested in this stuff so I would think that maybe it could have a place. if there is supposed to be an implication that these things will be in the supporter-exclusive Discord server, then that should be clearly said because it is something that could convince people to support.

no add-on rewards - this isn't a super common one and I kind of get why they didn't include this, but when you have some of your physical rewards like a t-shirt locked behind these hugely expensive tiers no one is going to have them. but if you add a $30-50 t-shirt add-on people will buy it. and that's publicity when they wear it, when they post about receiving it, and when they see it in their own closet and think about your show. the ongoing Tell No Tales crowdfund has an add-on option for their very cute mug design, something I personally know people have added to their contributions

some general thoughts on these rewards:

mostly unenticing and overpriced, with nothing that really is selling them as a worthwhile investment. for all the money that they are asking, none of these tiers (particularly the high ones with the possible exception of the $500 one) have anything that would make me pledge above $15. things are either too far out of reach and expensive like the t-shirt or just plain not enticing like the micro-zine.

now that THAT is dealt with, let's move onto the imaginary world of how this money would be parsed out if the campaign were fully funded.

Where Will My Money Go? AKA The Budget

NOTE: because this is a flexible goal campaign, for calculations I am going to use the $26,000 USD being asked for to demonstrate the cost breakdown of the provided budget. this is reasonable given that by asking for this much they are claiming that this is the amount it would take to produce this audio drama. whether or not they receive that, that is the implicit claim.

here you can see the budget pie chart provided by the campaign (I would like to say that visually I am a fan of this weird kind of tv psychedelic thing they have going on in the background of their images). it is... a thing. not a good thing.

Before the Dive

but let's start with what the campaign says in this section because that is also very interesting for other reasons. let's highlight what I think are the most important things:

270 page script

3 years of development already

"we are striving for nothing less than fair wages for all parties involved"

this breakdown applies AFTER crowdfund and reward expenses are accounted for

that last one is particularly important, because my first reaction to this chart was wondering if they were rolling the crowdfunding fees and reward expenses into "production" since they definitely didn't fit anywhere else. this does also slightly complicate the math because I do not know what those expenses will come out to apart from the standard 5% fee that these platforms usually take.

I do also think that the 3 years of development is really important to consider, especially when you combine it with the claim of "fair wages for all parties involved". as it stands, this budget breakdown does NOT do this, because it does not take into account those 3 years of writing and development and pre-production in terms of compensation. this problem of not paying the writers is something I keep seeing, and I think it keeps happening because the writing has already been done and it feels weird to some people to ask for retrospective payment. but if you pitch a script to a director and a studio picks it up, you get paid for that time! you get compensated for the thing you wrote that was a gamble, and if this campaign is making money off of that 3 years of work, why should that not be compensated to an extent?

in a lot of cases this would be the most important thing for me to call out here, that discrepancy between claiming to want fair wages for everyone, but that only seeming to apply when it comes to the production and post-production stages.

now, 270 pages is not nothing. that's a lot of script to write. but it's also not that much script to write if we're being honest. there are shows I listen to that have hour long episodes and their transcripts are 80-90 pages EACH. so comparing that to Shelterwood could have you thinking this is only going to come out to about 3 hours of content.

I actually had to come back to this section and make some adjustments because it's only in the FAQ (where most people forget to look) that episode length is mentioned (40-50 minutes).

now then.

Let's Get Into the Numbers

it's time to crunch some numbers.

it's going to be a bit difficult to divide based on anything except the cast/crew list and the number of episodes that will be produced, but I will try my best to break it down like that.

there is also a bit of really useful information hidden a little further down in the stretch goals section of the campaign (which I am glad I made note of before doing all of my math).

in the "How Much Do You Need to Raise?" section is the following:

For this project to get off the ground, we need to raise $26,000, with a green light to start production at $20,800. But don’t worry, we’ve got some exciting milestones to hit before then! For every $5,000 of our total goal raised, we’ll be releasing a micro-sode in the world of Shelterwood

this has some VITAL information for our calculations, namely that the ACTUAL goal to start production is $20,800 USD, not $26,000 USD.

there is a slight problem with this however, in that a "green light to start" can mean a few things. because the campaign is still a flexible goal, even if they don't hit this number they will get the money, so I am assuming it does NOT mean that they have to hit it to start production at all. I think what it is meaning to say is that it's either hitting that number or the campaign ending that will be the green light.

however, there is an alternative.

this is a group of podcasters with some significant pull and connections, something we've seen some of them deploy for other projects. namely, Re: Dracula.

yeah, we're back at this one apparently.

the reason I bring it up at all, is because that was a project that IN ADDITION to their crowdfund had a $10,000 investment from Seed & Spark. now why might that be relevant? there is a chance that when Shelterwood says it needs $20,800 to green light the production, that is an absolute statement. but that they have plans to try and find other investors to help them hit it if the crowdfunding doesn't get them there. I don't have any real reason to believe this would be the case, Re: Dracula was very upfront about their outside investment. but it does feel like something to point out with regards to how this is worded.

either way, I am going to be doing the calculations for 1. reaching the full goal, 2. reaching the "green light" goal, and 3. as a per episode cost. hopefully these three ways will give a good insight into the actual budget being proposed here.

there is also something in this text about promised "micro-sodes" at each $5,000 hit. that isn't about stretch goals, it's about the whole campaign. so we need to factor it in somehow. luckily there is already the first one up on the Someone Dies In This Elevator feed (another perk of having Tal on your campaign is getting some of the promotion they only seem to reserve for friends) and so I can see that it is 7.5 minutes long (which, side note, it's kind of weird that Shelterwood isn't referenced in the name of this one? it's in the show notes, but I scrolled past it without realizing and then had to take a closer look as I was going through again to figure out which it was).

most of this feed seems to be populated by a variety of micro-sodes, lengths ranging from as low as 4 minutes to as high as 11 minutes. so this one is actual bang on the money for average length. additionally, we know from the FAQ that the actual episodes will be 40-50 minutes apiece. now, I did not know that when I DID the calculations because I didn't check that section until the end.

as a side note, before we get into it: I really appreciate it when campaigns do some of this for me and include their own actual numbers along with the percentages. maybe you don't want to make my life easier, I am in fact largely writing about campaigns that I think are not good, but still. even as a prospective backer it's nice to see the 1 to 1 of "oh if I give $100 that is paying for half of an episodes acting!"

so let's break it down with first the big percentages as numbers:

here's where that little bit of info about the micro-sodes is useful. I was going to use my calculations to basically guess at how comparable all of these were compared to a full episode, before I realized the actual expected episode length was in the FAQ. but then I realized that the phrasing of these goals is that they are already completed and just waiting to be published, about 37.5 minutes of content based on the one we currently have access to. only the stretch goal mini-sodes have NOT been written and produced. so I am actually NOT going to factor them into the costs, because I've already pointed out that we are seemingly ignoring work that has already been completed before the campaign went live, and this is definitely that. so thank you for making my math a bit easier I guess by not having to factor those in.

additionally, I did point out how the campaign says that the percentages will be applied to the number leftover after campaign related costs, but that is an impossible amount of money to guess. so for ease I will be ignoring it entirely.

(I actually just forgot to calculate what 5% of the total goal removed would change the numbers to, and I really don't want to redo all my math now that I've realized this. sorry if that makes me seem less professional with my breakdown, but I can only do so much and don't have all the time in the world to make this perfect. an impossible task as-is.)

so. let's see these numbers in full (in USD):

PRODUCTION - 10% - $2,600 (at the $26k goal) or $2,080 (at $20,800) - $162.50 or $130/episode

so first of all, "production" is a very vague term. to some creators this may or may not include sound design and other aspects of editing, but since sound design is accounted for separately it makes it less clear what this bucket means.

I think that we can get a better idea by looking at the involved crew, but there will still be some guesswork involved.

first up, I think we can assume that this does NOT include payment for writing the script. we've already covered that I think, but I just to explicitly address that since in my mind that would be in the "production" bucket for this categorization of budget.

next we have the producer. again, this is fucking vague as hell in terms of titles, means different stuff to different people. I do however think it is part of this section of payment, given the name, so there is one person.

we also have 2 directors for this project. now, I think a case could be made that the directors are getting paid from the actor pool, but what it really is is part of the production side of things so I am going to assume it is here. that brings us up to 3 people.

lastly we have the graphic designer, a role that definitely falls into production as it almost certainly entails stuff like promotional material, marketing, and unique cover art for episodes (if they go that way, plenty of shows don't).

so we have a total of 4 people to split this money, though not all of these roles are equal. but as an average payment, we're looking at about $650 or $520 per person. I do think that the rate for the directors compared to the graphic design work is not going to paid the same, though I don't really have a clear idea how either of those costs will compare to the role of the producer here.

however.

even if we were to divide this in a way that was VERY generous to the co-directors, up to $1000 each even, that is really fucking low.

if both are taking part in directing all episodes, at 16 total that is $62.50 pay each.

if they are splitting the directing work and each taking 8, that is $125 for the episode in question.

either way, it comes out to the same amount overall, which is not really fair compensation for what will come out to what I would guess is around 25+ hours of work.

that estimation could be really off, but based on my own experiences I think I'm even being a bit conservative on that point. maybe not everything is being directed, some of the smaller parts might be recorded asynchronously, but still.

for a budget this massive, to only be setting aside less than $3000 is kind of ridiculous.

moving on.

MUSIC - 10% - $2,600 (at the $26k goal) or $2,080 (at $20,800) - $162.50 or $130/episode

again, I'm a little confused by the crew list here. we have listed both a "composer" AND someone doing "in-show music". given the context of the framing device as a docu-series, I'm still left pretty confused? this designation of "in-show" kind of implies that there will be a separation between the more professional production investigative documentary-esque side and some other place that music would be. the only things I can think that that would exclude are intro and outro music, which is not hugely significant compared to the main content of the show that will be given original music as background.

it makes it a little harder to distinguish these roles, though I do believe that the "in-show music" is going to be a larger portion of the production, so will likely get a larger chunk of the funds allocated here.

but let's assume for a moment that these are equivalent roles, and look at how much each will be paid:

for the full project, that comes out to $1,300 or $1,040 each (or approximately $81.25 or $65/episode.

now I don't think that the per episode cost here is that valuable, considering music is most often something that is paid a flat fee for. additionally, it's unlikely that every episode is going to have unique music; a certain number of compositions will be done to cover the broad themes needed (i.e. music for action moments, for investigative moments, for emotional moments) and then reused throughout the series. it's not really possible to make a guess at the amount of music that is going to be produced, so whether or not this is a fair pay rate is unclear. I will point out that there is a stretch goal involving an album, so we're probably talking about more than 10 distinct compositions.

even so, let's remember that this is the same amount allocated as for Production, but only split between 2 people. which is interesting. as I said, music can have re-use, but things like direction and production usually cannot, so I would expect those things to take up more time overall. and yet the same amount of money is being split more ways too.

again, this is all educated guesswork. it isn't super common for podcasts to have entirely original music and it's also very nebulous in how many tracks are required to keep things from feeling repetitive and to match the varying tones in a story. this leaves us to kind of just take this section of the budget as a gut check, one that I wouldn't really think much about if not for the fact it is being valued at the same price as "production".

I do think it's also worth asking a question about the need for original music. for a theme and credits track I definitely get it, having something that is 100% solely identifiable with YOUR production is big and helps it feel special. but when we're talking about background music, these are things that are arguably not that important in terms of being completely original?

I do think this isn't that much of an issue here, the music budget is still very tiny compared to the rest of the proposed costs, but it is still over $1000 for something that could be achieved by using a more cost effective solution like a sound library. as an example, Epidemic Sound is $239.88/year for a commercial license, and you could possibly get away with the personal subscription at just $119.88/year (I don't endorse this service, it is just seems to be the one most commonly used). there are a huge number of tracks, more than enough to tackle sound design for a documentary-style horror podcast.

let me be clear: I love music, I love musicians, I think people should have opportunities to get paid for their talent.

but I think it says something about how highly that this production sees itself that they are pursuing costs that are arguably not NECESSARY (we will get back to this, have faith). the more the cost of the campaign climbs, the more you should be evaluating what is most important. if the music isn't integral to the story, how are you justifying that additional cost?

like I said, I don't think it necessarily applies here in the context of the percentage of the budget, but $1,040-1,300 is still a LOT for most campaigns.

but let's keep going, we're about to look at the majority of where the budget is going.

CAST - 40% - $10,400 ($26k) or $8,320 ($20,800) - $1,625 ($26k) or $1,300 ($20,800)/episode

from these numbers we can also break down approximate actor pay.

what we know for sure from the cast announcement is that there are a total of 27 actors (3 of whom are also crew). obviously there are going to be varying levels of supporting vs main, but at this point there isn't anything I can say about the breakdown of that besides a guess (in a cast this size I would personally guess that probably 5ish roles are considered main characters, with 5-10ish as supporting and the rest as flavor characters).

but let's just look at breakdown as though every role were somehow equal in terms of compensation:

that gives us about $385 or $308 per voice actor across all episodes, or an average of $24 or $19.25 per actor per episode.

again, I don't think this is an accurate breakdown, obviously our perspective character is going to be speaking for most of every episode and just from looking at character names in the cast list you can tell quite a few will only appear once or twice.

but when you factor in that over half of these actors are likely doing minor characters and getting paid probably around $25 for their entire contribution, that leaves a lot of money left.

as a quick guesstimation, let's say 15 of the actors are in this group, accounting for only $375 of this budget. that leaves over $10,000 on the table to be split among 12 people, most of whom will not be main characters and probably only make $100-250 each. even if I were to be generous with these numbers, there is still a lot of money left on the table going to the main actors in the group. more than there needs to be for it to be fair compensation.

I want to reiterate that it's difficult to do anything definitive with the information we have, but I think it is somewhat useful to do this exercise as there are some somewhat standard rates of pay within audio drama, at least for smaller sized roles.

I believe in fair pay, but there is a difference between what that means in audio drama and what that means in other voice acting career spaces. I think there is a larger conversation to be had about that, particularly as we keep seeing crowdfunding campaigns of this size that seem to be trying to make their project something that provides a "living wage" to the actors. this is not really a sustainable or reasonable expectation given the amount of work being done, especially when compared to the value that is being given to other aspects of the production process (again, why are the directors getting paid from a bucket that is so much smaller than this one?).

what this seems to be doing is trying to fit a wage mold that isn't really applicable. these are not union actors getting paid industry rates, these are just not those kinds of professional productions. there is something very off about the amount of money being asked here for a project that is not even that large.

but let's move on before I go on an even larger tangent about this side topic.

SOUND DESIGN - 40% - $10,400 ($26k) or $8,320 ($20,800) - $1,625 ($26k) or $1,300 ($20,800)/episode

finally let's address the elephant in the room.

Shelterwood is a project with 1 sound designer. just the one.

Brad Colbroock will be receiving around $10,000 just for this 16-episode project. which is a ridiculous amount.

the claim here is that Brad is worth 27 actors, and 4x the musicians and rest of production team.

oh, but what's this interesting note here at the bottom of this section?

look at that, there is an amount of recognition at the ridiculousness of putting 40% of their budget towards a single sound designer. let's dive into it.

okay, so first of all. this is an extremely unimpressive list of events. I know SEVERAL sound designers who are capable of delivering these specific scenarios in a couple hours each, MAX. if this is meant to show the justification by being the most impressive examples (excluding stuff that would be too spoilery obviously), then I am not very excited for the intensity and weirdness of the show's sound design.

this feels really basic for stuff you are trying to say justifies this high of a price.

I'm serious, this in no way convinces me that his work is going to be worth this much money.

standard sound design rates in audio drama are nowhere near $1,300-1,625 per episode, that is RIDICULOUSLY high. the most I've heard is probably around $500, and that was for an actual play which is significantly more work than your average audio drama episode.

I would like to know how on earth this is a justifiable number.

I would ALSO like to know if "sound design" includes as much as you might think it does.

there are a lot of shows where things like doing the dialogue cut is separated from the sound design aspect. I don't know if that's the case here, but as I'm still struggling to determine what the Producer is going to be in charge of if not the editing, all I can do is try and guess at what tasks are being left on the table.

"sound design" does not necessarily imply all parts of the editing process, and at a price this high that is majorly concerning.

THIS was the reason I decided to do a write-up.

there are a lot of things in this campaign that I think are suspect or just outright bad, but this was the moment that I went "holy fucking shit, these people have completely passed the point of being reasonable in their crowdfunding goals."

I am SO tired of seeing goals placed this high, the only thing it does is take away community funds and resources that could be better spread to a variety of diverse projects.

I'm not saying that Shelterwood doesn't deserve funding and to be made, I AM saying that Shelterwood asking for $26,000 when other campaigns struggle to raise even $2,000 is a big part of the fucking problem with audio drama crowdfunding right now.

this is a form of resource hoarding.

and it's the same people who keep perpetrating and benefitting from it.

I'm just really fucking tired of seeing so many interesting and diverse voices not be given the benefit of the doubt the way that people like this with connections to more established names do. because being friends with people who have a lot of sway DOES make a difference in the long run.

RANT OVER.

before we move on to stretch goals, just a couple small things:

I find it insulting that this team is justifying some of these expenses while still not compensating the writing that Stephen already did. I know I've already brought it up, but having crunched through all those numbers and had to see just how much more they are valuing the sound designer than the person who created the damn thing (which likely included already thought through notes about what the sound design should be), it is a spit in the face of all of the writers in the community. sound designers are very important, yes. but so are the actual minds and writers behind these stories.

Shelterwood is an interesting project because of its concept, NOT because of the promise of the sound design. I would listen to a low budget show with this concept and pitch because it sounds interesting, even if the production quality were barebones. because the actual value is in the story, not the presentation. I think these people have forgotten that.

I would also like to say that as part of a good budget section for a flexible goal campaign, I would expect to see something addressing if there will be changes to the breakdown if that goal is NOT met. before you address stretch goals you really need to talk about this.

now, it IS addressed, but not right here where it should be. it is in the FAQ section (where no one ever looks), so we will be dealing with it there.

I'm not doing a great job at holding back the salt, am I. out of practice forcing professionalism I guess, it's been a bit since I did one of these.

Stretch Goals

I briefly touched on this earlier during the budget section as there was information revealed here that was important for that.

but now let's take a look at it in full and talk about what's left.

Shelterwood has outlined 5 stretch goals:

at $28,000 is promised "off-week micro-sodes with extra scares added to the release schedule". this is an odd one to unpack, but it does reveal a small interesting tidbit in that Shelterwood will not be releasing weekly, most likely every other week. not hugely relevant, just good to know.

what I think IS relevant is that there isn't really a claim to how many of these bonus micro-sodes will be made? the use of the term "off-week" could imply that it is filling every gap in the schedule (i.e. there will be 15 micro-sodes added, one for between each major release and not counting the 6 that would already be out in the world as a side effect of hitting this level of funding).

in conjunction with that, this is only $2k above the fully funded goal, the implication there being that this is enough additional money to cover the cost of what is being promised. which seems pretty impossible at the prices we have been led to believe are needed by the budget section, the math just seem like it would work out to cover that.

at $30,000 the 7th micro-sode is written and released. I would hope that this work includes paying Stephen for their time writing, but the rest of this campaign has made me suspicious that he is not in fact paying himself for that work so I won't hold my breathe on that point. especially since we know that the mini-sodes will require sound design, and that the sound designer is very expensive.

at $32,000 we see "actor payscales increased!"

hm. well that's interesting. there are people involved in this campaign who have been VERY outspoken about how actors should NOT be paid more than sound designers and other parts of production. and yet here we are with a stretch goal that is only going to apply to actors getting paid more?

at $34,000 there is a Shelterwood Album. that's all it says, no clue if that means anything specific as it relates to campaign supporters? might just mean uploaded to Bandcamp for you to purchase if you'd like. to be clear, this isn't a bad stretch goal, I'm just unsure if it's actually going to be something that people get to enjoy "for free" after they've paid enough to the campaign to unlock it.

and finally,

at $35,000 the 8th micro-sode is written and released. I don't have anything to say about that that I didn't say about the $30k stretch goal.

moving on, I promise we're nearly done and all the hard stuff is out of the way now.

Other Ways To Help

always a good thing to have, though to be honest I don't know if it actually ever does anything? I think people are more likely to retweet or reblog a post they see naturally on social media, rather than getting to the bottom of a campaign spiel and deciding to write something up fresh.

giving some examples is a nice touch that makes it much easier, I hope that it is intentionally that they are all somewhat cringey (cringe can be a good thing).

I also this it's really great that there are already crossover episodes lined up with a few other podcasts (though I can't say I'm familiar with any of them apart from Someone Dies In This Elevator, and several seem to be non-audio drama and even nonfiction in aspects, which is an interesting choice for this project?)

I would also like to say that I genuinely LOVE the "more uncanny way to help" section. it is honestly the best part of the campaign and is a model for creative and interesting marketing. I don't know how effective it will be, but this is the kind of fun interesting shit that makes a campaign stand out. it's also a great opportunity for spreading the word if people actually do it. not because I really think people will go to a url on a random flier (I think if you want actual throughput that way you need to add a QR code instead of just the typed web address though, much easier for people to follow through), but because those people will post on social media which will get attention and then you can reblog with some in-universe type response and get free marketing that is engaging.

FAQ

we're done looking at the main bit of the campaign, let's jump over for a look at the FAQ, aka the most frequently ignored part of a campaign.

How long will the show be?

here is the only place that there is mention of the length of the episodes, which gives us a good idea of the full length of the finished product. we are told 40-50 minutes per episode (not including any micro-sodes) so if on average it's going to be 45 minutes each we can math that out to around 12 hours of content. pretty solid amount, I'm not sure why that is buried here though? to me this is important information, I would have expected it to be proudly presented at the top of the campaign when the 16 episodes was first stated.

What makes Shelterwood different from other horror podcasts out there?

honestly this is a good pitch, so good that it shouldn't be hidden away here. move this to your introduction, you want to be sure that people read this when deciding whether to give you money. there are a LOT of horror podcasts, and it's really important to set yourself apart from the get-go. talking about being horror and Gothic in passing isn't going to be enough, you need to really emphasize it.

this is ALSO important in that it is the justification given for the music budget that I was looking for earlier. granted, the necessity of this as being vital to the show will remain to be seen, but "in-universe songs that haunt the whole show" is the kind of thing that would make me more excited to give. highlight that in the main body of the campaign, make a point of clearly calling out why these things are so necessary to the fabric of the show. it helps you stand out and it helps you communicate their importance.

How scary will the show really be?

I honestly don't think this is really a provable thing, people will know if it's scary once they hear it. usually I would lean on the creator's previous work, but we have nothing here to look at for that. so like all things, it will come down to personal taste whether listeners find it scary. hard to quantify something like that, honestly I think the only reason this is here is to try and bolster Stephen Indrisano's experience and why you should trust them to make a good horror show.

the problem being that this isn't being put where we as a prospective backer are introduced to him, but somewhere most will never look.

What happens if the goal isn't reached?

now as I said earlier, I really feel like this should be addressed in the main body of the campaign because most people won't look here.

but here it is, and here we are. so let's talk about what this says:

If we cannot reach our goal, we will have to go back to our budget and start making tough decisions about pay scales, characters, and whether the show can be made at all while still fairly compensating our team. If we cannot raise the funds, there will be large delays in production until we can determine outside funding. We are dedicated to paying our cast and crew what they deserve for high-quality work.

overall, the way this is worded and framed is kind of vague? yes, there's no reason to get into details here about what would need to change, but it feels like a dangling threat that you are meant to fill in with your own worst case scenario "what-ifs". it's also a bit concerning in some aspects, because which pay scales are we talking about here?

while going through the budget earlier, it was very clear what work was valued most of all: the sound designer. now, it's also important to note that he is probably being paid a fixed rate that will be non-negotiable, most sound designers have a per hour rate they give and you don't really haggle that. so I don't believe any of that shortfall would come from his budget.

the next obvious pool is actors, which makes sense given it also calls out whether characters will need to be cut. this is kind of shitty, as all of these people are already promoting this project they got cast in and might get removed from without warning. this is a FLEXIBLE GOAL, so to get cut after putting in time and effort to help get more money means that you just did that labor for free that you would have been compensated for in some way before. just because you aren't paying cast and crew to do promotion doesn't mean that their actual pay isn't in some part FOR that. this is true in any job, if you were organizing a money-making event and then got fired right before it happened, the money that the company made off of the thing you planned is not benefiting you.

I think in a lot of these cases, it's production that takes the brunt of these cutbacks first. these are the people who feel the most investment in making the project happen, and the most willing to undercut themselves to try and make sure it does.

now then. the most egregious part.

we will have to go back to our budget and start making tough decisions about pay scales, characters, and whether the show can be made at all

"whether the show can be made at all".

this is a "flexible goal" campaign. that means that any money they raise is going to be kept by them, whether or not they decide they can actually make the show "at all".

a charitable reading of this would be that in that case they will refund all the donations and not keep any money.

but it's weird not to say it outright because all that does is make you look like someone who will try to get away with keeping the money, even if the project falls apart.

there's also something else I think we should talk about with regards to this:

I think that by creating a flexible goal, you are implicitly saying "we don't think we'll reach the full goal, and we'd still like to get some money if we don't."

if this is the case, then why aren't you creating the initial budget with that in mind?

I think I touched on this in the Arden post, but you should be presenting your "minimum viable product". what this means is that you are stating that for the project to exist it MUST have at least this. and I don't mean in terms of money, I mean in terms of cast and crew and episodes and time that can be given to create the most bare version of the thing that will get to the goal.

that might mean no original music, that might mean fewer side characters, that might mean half as many episodes.

whatever it means, THAT is what you need to be thinking about when you start asking for money. especially if you are already approaching it from the stance of "we will take whatever we can get", you need to know going in what that looks like. it is NOT something to be decide later if you don't hit the goal, it is something that needs to be known upfront and used as the basis for your decision-making.

doing anything else is irresponsible to all parties involved, including those trusting you to put their money to good use.

Campaign Updates

you thought we were done?

so did I god fucking dammit why are we not done yet.

since campaign launch there have been 3 updates.

the first is from about 2 weeks ago, just sharing that the first bonus micro-sode was released with a link and reminder that at every $5k another one will be released.

the second was posted at the end of the first week of crowdfunding (just over a week ago as of right now).

this update actually has something interesting that I pointed out earlier. at this point, the campaign decided to add another reward at the $100 tier and above, a unique page of blackout poetry. which is fine, except that again this is hidden away where most people won't see it, and the actual tiers and body of the campaign need to be updated to reflect this additional perk for it to do any good in convincing supporters to give money at that level. right now it's basically just a hidden easter egg reward.

however this post also alludes to something in the 3rd update. something I fucking hate.

can I just say how much this reminds me of those Instagram "follow and tag 2 of your friends!" contests? I can't be the only one.

but let's actually look at what this is:

We are pleased to announce that, effective immediately, we will be running a referral contest. What does that mean? In a nutshell, we will be offering one of three very special, unique perks to the top three individuals who can gather new pledges through referral links: 1. A walk-on part in the show, to be recorded when production starts 2. A personalised list of horror recommendations from the cast and crew 3. A character named after you, who will die spectacularly in Shetlerwood The rules of our contest are simple: whoever gets first place gets first pick of the rewards. 2nd place gets 2nd pick, and 3rd place gets 3rd pick.

so there is a lot about this that I think is bad, some of which might just come down to personal ethics and what I would be willing to do as part of a fundraiser?

I hope it's at least clear why I find this kind of thing gross and exploitative. in a way you are dangling rewards that are reliant on someone having a relative position of privilege. referrals only count if the person follows through and donates, which means that you need to be friends with people who can afford to do that.

I will say that I am VERY thankful it seems to be based on the number of referrals and not the AMOUNT that is garnered by them, but there is still something very gross feeling about this that I can't shake.

part of it might be that these feel like backer rewards that were withheld for the sake of this contest. like they were going to do this no matter what and they looked at the things they could offer and went "let's hold back these enticing things specifically for that". especially when the actual campaign rewards are really lackluster, to hold these back and have fans compete to try and get them is gross to me.

I fully accept this might just be a "me thing" that I find this to be icky, but none of us are original so at least one other person is going to agree with me. that doesn't make it the right opinion, it just reinforces that it is a valid one.

I don't think that contests are a bad thing, there is just something about a "referral contest" that makes me think of MLMs and other financially exploitative systems.

but now let's talk about the fun part of this update, which is the reveal of the "Haunt-Your-Own-House Micro-Zine".

I am happy to report being right about the quality of this "micro-zine". allow me to draw your attention to the fact that the printed "shingles" are not oriented correctly. you cannot convince me this was a design choice, I'm pretty positive it's just sloppiness.

would just like to point out that this is not a zine of any kind, this is just papercraft. which is fine, but that's a REALLY different thing. I don't want a bit of papercraft taking up space, a small zine that can slip onto a little bookshelf is much more desirable to me.

as an idea, it's not a bad one though. like this is a fun little thing for you to put together and maybe customize, but you should advertise it for what it is, which is NOT a zine of any kind.

but also, the ghost shown in the image is NOT part of it. I thought that was another bit of papercraft when I was writing the image description above, but no apparently it isn't even part of it, they just stuck it in there to make the thing look less boring. if it can't look impressive as the thing you are giving, maybe that's a sign it isn't a good reward.

before we move on from this, they also say the following:

The PDF for these will be sent out to all backers at the $30 level and above within the next 48 hours, so be on the lookout for that!

now I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that backers haven't actually given money yet. they can still cancel their pledge, but you are already looking to fulfill the reward?

I can understand this as a marketing move, get the thing in people's hands so they can make it and post on social media to help the campaign gain traction. but you are jumping the gun and if I wanted to I could back, get the PDF, and then fucking bounce now that I have it. just thought I should point that out.

no, I will not be doing that, I don't need this kind of clutter on my desk and I don't even own a working printer.

okay, one last part of this update: "even more bonus audio!"

here we get an acknowledgment that the campaign is not really on track to hit full funding, so they are adjusting their goals in terms of releasing additional content to try and attract more support.

Unfortunately, our funding has been a bit too slow to reach many of those [$5,000 micro-sode] goals... which is why we're lowering the bar and releasing new audio on our YouTube channel every $1000 instead! This will include exclusive micro-interviews with some of our iconic cast and crew about all things horror podcasting, as well as other terrifying glimpses into the world of Shelterwood

can we stop using "micro" as a prefix on everything?

so I am a little confused by the wording here, in the sense that "lowering the bar" is a phrase usually used to talk about a change to something, rather than the addition of new things? so I'm a bit unsure of whether this is going to impact the existing every $5k micro-sode goal, or if this is something entirely separate that is being introduced to try and get more excitement.

I think it's fine either way, I was just a bit confused by the wording and curious if they are considering adjustments to the micro-sode goals to ensure they will get to release all of them (since I think it's pretty clear the first 6 are completely produced and ready to go).

as for the actual content being promised here, it seems fine enough? I'm assuming that they are having to dig into some stuff they were hoping to save for later, and I hope that the "micro-interviews" are at least somewhat substantial enough to justify their existence.

as a note, it's weird that they hyperlinked to the first micro-sode, but not to their YouTube channel where these new things are going to be posted? there's nothing up yet (unless you could some Shorts) so I'm assuming they mean every additional $1k after the update was posted.

that is all for the updates because I am determined to publish this before they can put another one out. I need this to be done, and we are NEARLY there.

please bear with me, the last section is extremely important.

The Catch-All Section

here's just random stuff that I noticed or thought of but didn't have a real place anywhere else:

in the Cast and Crew graphic, why is Karim Kronfli the only person who's name is at the bottom of the image rather than the top? just a weirdly random inconsistency that bothers the perfectionist in me

please more images and pictures, they don't need to be much (especially since as I stated before we unfortunately don't have any kind of alt text feature for campaigns to utilize) but they keep people from getting bored staring at a massive wall of unbroken text

there were more than a few typos across the campaign (the show's name on one occassion). it's a good idea to put all your text in a word processor first to catch these things, you just aren't going to see it yourself the 5th time you are re-reading the campaign before publishing. let a computer check your work.

it would be nice generally to see more creativity when it comes to rewards. things don't have to be expensive or extravagant to be interesting, even at lower tiers. think about the world you are creating, think about what works within it. as an example, the WOE.BEGONE patreon has a tier at which the creator writes in-character postcards to patrons that when put together reveal a larger story (this is an example of something that I find really creative and like. I know it's not a crowdfunding campaign but whenever I think about rewarding listeners for their support I think about this). and he does this every month. that is an incredibly clever use of the world that show has built and connecting the fans to it in a unique way. you only have to figure out something like that once for your campaign, I believe in you.

Conclusion and a Larger Conversation

so why am I once again talking about a high profile campaign that is asking for a lot of money?

I think there needs to be a recognition of the importance of the context surrounding when you launch a campaign as well. because the financial situation right now is very different from the financial situation a year ago is very different from the financial situation of 2019.

as an example, let's look at the Afflicted Season 2 crowdfunding campaign that just ended in failure.

this was a FIXED GOAL campaign. they were asking for $23,500 USD and they only made it to $13,283, just over 50% of the way there. so they got none of it. it was all or nothing and the result this time was nothing.

and that really sucks for a lot of reasons.

I had some criticisms about that campaign that I kept to myself at the time, in part because diverse voices in audio drama is really important. Afflicted provided a lot of opportunities for marginalized creators to get established and share their unique voices. so often the campaigns that are getting met are the ones that continue to prop up the same types of voices and experiences as we've all heard before.

I am much more interested in the unique horror that a show like Afflicted is bringing to the table as a production driven by a Black woman than I am with hearing from the same types of voices we are used to. we have a lot of similar people making stuff in the community, and frankly a lot of our "diversity" is mostly driven by being white and queer. these voices are important too and there's a lot that is good, but that is the majority in this space. that's why we need to make sure we are getting opportunities to the people who don't have the privilege or connections.

this is a personal opinion, not one everyone will agree with. but we are better as a community when we do extra work to make sure that more varied diversity is highlighted and supported.

Afflicted planted their foot saying "this much or nothing" and took the gamble that most of these high number campaigns are unwilling to do. a gamble that they succeeded in last year to fund the first season.

the difference is partly that the economy looked really different last year. disposable income, rent prices, general cost of living. it wasn't great, but it was better than it is now and that MATTERS. we all know how fucking bad it is right now, especially in the US, so to be asking these massive amounts of money is tone deaf. in this case, Afflicted was even asking for MORE than they raised for season 1. you could argue some of that is because they already managed to prove themselves as creators who were good for the money and deserved that kind of chance.

but the fact of the matter is that people just don't have that kind of cash to give over and over.

which leads into my main point.

every time I see a campaign with this high of a goal I think one thing:

"this is hurting the community."

now, that may not sound reasonable to some of you, especially if you are one of the people who believes that numbers this high are justifiable.

when we talk about supporting each other from a audio drama creator standpoint, it is done so freely and with an understanding that new listeners isn't really a thing we're going to run out of. if I recommend 10 podcasts I like, that doesn't hurt MY show. it just helps the community by sharing things we generally enjoy and care about it. this is how you end up with the networks of support that we've seen in newer places like the Audio Drama Lab.

unfortunately, money is not the same.

the amount of money that each of us has to give to support the things we like is limited based on our individual situations. anyone recommending a specific crowdfunding campaign to give money to DOES have an impact on the amount of money left in the pool for others.

so when something like Shelterwood or Arden or Afflicted or Among the Stacks or The Magnus fucking Protocol asks for these amounts, this is ACTIVELY impacting whether other campaigns will succeed.

while The Magnus Protocol raised over £700,000 (or about $940,000 USD), DOZENS (probably more) of smaller projects were struggling to get less than half a percent of that.

that was money that could have done a lot more community good than supporting a blatant RQ cash grab.

we're looking at a different scale here, obviously. I do not think that the absolutely disgusting amount raised for one of the most beloved audio drama's sequels is directly comparable to what these campaigns are asking.

but it certainly did help them when trying to legitimize those numbers.

$26,000 is a LOT of money.

there are a lot of people who would be able to change their lives on even just 20% of that, be able to create new and interesting things if given just a little bit of support. and most of them are not asking for much.

but repeatedly having these large projects that position themselves as more worthy and better is hurting us all.

I think we also need to talk about what it means to pay "fair wages"? because a lot of people don't even make that at their day jobs. a "fair wage" is a capitalist idea that most don't benefit from, and it isn't necessarily applicable to every industry.

most voice actors do not get by doing projects they care about, they get by doing commercials and audio books and training videos for random corporations. because a "fair wage" in voice acting is not necessarily a set thing where hours and effort given always corresponds to money received.

all creative industries have trouble supporting that, this is a capitalism problem that you are trying to fix with more capitalism. you can't force the concept of "fair wages" into a space that monetarily cannot support it.

because what you are doing is creating an ecosystem where only YOUR cast and crew will get fair wages for their work. everyone else will have to do the compromise for YOUR sake.

there's that phrase, "a rising tide lifts all boats". I think people cling to this when they see these kinds of things, especially when they are successful. "isn't that good for all of us? doesn't that mean everyone will get more?"

again, no. money is a resource that is limited (for us as non-rich oligarchs).

the "rising tide" is not the ocean that freely gives and takes water in cycles. where we actually are is a dam, where water levels are carefully controlled and directed and distributed during times of drought. campaigns like this are part of that, they direct the water towards the richer and more privileged neighborhoods, the people who already have connections and opportunities.

there is less water left for everyone else.

THAT is what these campaigns do, THAT is why it is important to really assess what is necessary.

I don't think think that people shouldn't be able to make a living off of what they love, but I think that there are exploitative ways to do it and non-exploitative ways. these campaigns are exploitation in a way. crowdfunding in theory shouldn't be that, but it becomes that. especially when you start to enter the territory of these numbers, both in what is being asked for and what tiers are being presented as "normal and reasonable amounts for a single person to be giving".

we need to fucking stop this before we let these kinds of campaigns empty the dam completely.

that's it. that's all I have to say on this.

this is a conversation, one that I want us to have. I am tired of watching people who are already privileged continue to hoard the resources.

we can do better.

anyway, I think this campaign is a product of a larger issue. it is NOT "the problem", but it is a symptom of it. one that you are making a statement about in deciding to give or withhold money. it's not in my hands, it's in yours.

just keep what I said in mind, and maybe search the terms "audio drama" on whatever crowdfunder you like best.

take note of all the other projects you see, projects that have promise and talent and don't have connections that make them feel like they deserve to take half the pie home.

[askthefuturegleeks]

Thank you for joining the campaign to bring the arts to future generations, NICK DUVAL, we’re happy to have you! If you want a refresher on what to do next, feel free to look at the WELCOME CHECKLIST. Please send your account in within the next 48 hours so that you can get started.    

ooc information

NAME: Bee

AGE: 40+

PRONOUNS: She/Her

SHIPS: Nick + Chem

ANTI-SHIPS: Nick + No Chemistry

basic ic information

NAME/AGE: Nicholas ‘Nick’ Dean Duval

BIRTHDAY/ZODIAC:  July 20th, 1994, Cancer: You are the Patriarchs and Matriarchs of the Zodiac. Family means everything to you. You watch over your brood with determination and zeal. You can be counted upon to be at every graduation, wedding, surprise party or barbecue that has anything to do with your relatives. They are definitely your tribe and you are very generous with all of them.

CURRENT OCCUPATION:  App developer.  Co-creator of Social Byte, a new app for finding, reviewing, and booking all types of social engagements- from restaurants to movies, golf courses to amusement parks, concerts to sporting events.

CURRENT LOCATION: Just moved to NYC from Silicon Valley.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single.  It's complicated.

FC: Curt Mega

twitter post

@technicky: Anything is possible if you have faith and don’t stop trying.  #learnfromyourmistakes   #failsbeforeprogress

in character questions

Answer these in character, and feel free to add gifs into your answers.

1.) What did you want to do with your life when you were younger? What would the child version of yourself think about the path you paved for yourself?

There were so many different things I wanted to be when I was younger.  It was constantly changing and being influenced by media and experiences.  I wanted to be a astronaut, a fireman, a doctor, an actor, a teacher, a military pilot, a rockstar, a chemist, a banker....but when it was time to make decisions about life after Dalton, studying computer science seemed to make the most sense as a jumping off point.  I was thinking web design, maybe programing.  We barely knew what apps were back then.  

Did I see myself leaving Northwestern with my roommate and moving to Silicon Valley to work in a tech think tank?  No.  But California was such an adventure and I loved it.  And as great as the think tank was, leaving it to develop something of our own, just ours, was the best.  Deciding to come to the East coast once the App took off and to go off on my own, is a little daunting, but honestly, it’s time. 

2.) What is your proudest accomplishment? Don’t be afraid to  talk about what it took to achieve it and how you feel about it as well.

Hands down- having created Social Byte.  I don’t know if other creative types get this paternal/maternal feeling over the things they create, but Social Byte is like my child.  

I’m also pretty proud of myself for having decided to branch off on my own now, and come east.  A new adventure.  Even if it's taken me years to do so.

3.) If you could do anything you wanted for one whole day, what would it be and why?

I would do anything.  For me, it would be less about the what and more about the who.  Or who’s.  Spend a whole day with someone or someone's that it’s always easy to be around.  And do whatever, but bask in the enjoyment of their company.  I’ve been away from the people I grew up with, some important people, for too long.  I’d try to fix that.  I’m going to fix that, now that I’m on the East coast.

where are they now? 

Even after the steroid scandal that rocked the Warblers in his senior year, Nick was able to turn that into a real learning and growing experience by making it the topic of his admission essays.  He ended up getting accepted to several schools, including Northwestern University in Chicago, where he ultimately decided to go.  Not going to New York, or the East coast, like it seemed like so many of his friends were was a hard decision for Nick. 

Computer science ended up suiting Nick, and he went on to complete an Master of Science in Information  Technology.  Nick was also lucky that right off the bat he met Ryan, his roommate.  For the second time, Nick found himself with a roommate that he clicked with almost instantly.  They were in the same program, they were roommates, study buddies, sounding boards, and the best of friends.  It made missing his Warbler and Dalton friends a little more bearable. And because it didn’t feel so bad,  Nick was more easily able to try and keep his friendships going with his Warbler and Dalton friends all across the country.  Nick was constantly sending cards, sometimes letters, post cards, emails, posts on various social medias, trying to keep any bits of communication open with everyone.

After completing their MS IT at Northwestern, Ryan convinced Nick to go West with him- where he was from originally.  18 months with the think tank they left it to pursue their own project, and Social Byte was born.  Despite the closeness of their friendship, being roommates for years, moving across the country together, it was strictly platonic.  Which suited Nick just fine anyway.  

Once Social Byte hit the market and exploded, Nick decided it was time to branch out and go off and try something on his own.  This was also influenced by his want to move to the East coast and Ryan’s desire to stay in California.   It’s his birthday week and Nick Duval can’t think of anything more fitting than starting a new adventure, in a new city, closer to quite a few of his high school and even college friends.  

[raspberrykraken]

So last night I finished the Diablo 4 campaign. And then immediately started finding all the Alters of Lilith. Because the next big push of content is on July 18th when the pre patch drops and you need 3 things done so you can go into Season 1 with maximum effiency.

Finish the Campaign

Clear the entire map

Collect all Lilith Statues

Logging in on the 18th or after with the character who has all these 3 done the most lets your seasonal characters have these things too!

Theres other details dealing with these things but these are the core aspects of what’s coming. Because if I think about the story of the campaign I am going to scream.

Note: at the time of working on this, July 12th, 2023 on twitter Joe Shely announced you don’t even have to complete the campaign to count it as completed. You play it partially and then turn around in the menu to skip the rest. I am livid. I am beside myself. I voiced my thoughts on Twitter about it and go no response. Because its so bad they know it and are offering people a way out. Wonderful.

I have played all the other games. And honestly trying to provide any kind of rank to them doesn’t do anything. The problem is how much time people have spent with each game forming strong opinions about them and Diablo 4 is new. The drip of content has only just begun for it. And it seems like every patch notes they nerf Barbarians again or fix some bug that makes them unplayable.

The Lore has always been cooking in a crockpot since Diablo 2. With books and speculation. Which is why Diablo 3 felt like a betrayal with its more “cartoonish” approach and throwing key characters aside for the sake of brevity. Letting the narrative get highjacked by a npc and then having the deal with those consequences. It both “advanced” the story, brought Heaven to its knees, and the rewrote its ending in its expansion. Honestly you can argue they have been trying to course correct since 3 and still are with 4.

The following will be me screaming into a pillow over the story because no wonder my coworker played it with his friends and was confused as heck with it.

In Diablo 2 you are dogging the Dark Wonderer who inserted the stone into his head to protect the world from Diablo and becomes corrupted. You are always one step behind them roaming the world, seeing the destruction and chaos of Hell. Overtime you do meet Inarius who is bitter about his fall and the creation of Sanctuary. You make other friends along the way, all the while trying to help as much as you can. Eventually leading to a climatic battle where the World Stone that the Barbarians had been guarding for generations to be shattered and left in a what if moment with Sanctuary no longer being shielded from both sides.

In Diablo 4 you are dogging Lilith and Elias. Roaming across this intrepid world making friends, trying to make people better. All the while in high quality cutscenes Lilith and Elias are doing “bad” things. I mean having other people sacrifice their friends, family, children, animals to her is totally bad. Because she is a cocreator of Sanctuary. In a way Inarius uses the Church to do the same thing in the name of holiness and righteousness, rejecting sin and putting to death the sinners. It’s an interesting dichotomy that doesn’t give the player time to think about.

In previous games we have never met her, heard her side. We have met Inarius before and he’s as bitter as he’s always been casted to the mortal realm for his involvement in cocreating Sanctuary. The Heavens have disengaged with him, don’t want him back because he had sex. And the children they had were too powerful for their own good. Only to be narrowed/mentioned to one. Rathma who we don’t get to meet either.

All we get in the end of this “journey” the narrative gets highjacked by npcs sailing off to the end of the world, which the world is super flat btw. Sanctuary is like small Pangea. To find and defeat Diablo and Baal because Mephisto is already in the stone/influencing the entire game from the start. Giving no room in this narrative for Lilith or the player character. How fatherly.

Also in the ending moments the Church has turned on the player character and Lorath. Never thought about or mentioned again. Just go the Tree of Souls, start doing bounties! Explore the map! Collect statues! Do pvp! Get back to the Diablo 3 mindset! Get to level 50 and move up a world tier! Also Season 1 is coming, get ready for that!

The gameplay loop is good, I just see where Blizzards heart is now. It’s not focusing on the narrative anymore. And thats where I am with this. Frustrated and a shame. Because Blizzard promised more lore and story with each seasons and adding on to the campaign. Definitely doubting it.

[hadesisqueer]

I don’t really understand this voting thing on OT. Kiki was top 3 last week for favorite I think and she has been in the past a lot too. She has a lot of followers on socials too. But Lucas is leading in a lot of the polls. Idk if those polls usually reflect the actual results or not. I assume they do?

Who do you think will be in the final and predictions for winner and other placements?

The polls in directoot and otactualidad on instagram are usually very accurate, and so far he's winning, though the gap seems to be becoming smaller. The reason Chiara is losing in the polls even though she has twice as many followers on instagram and nearly twice as many monthly listeners on instagram? Easy, 1) most of Naiara and Paul's fans are voting for Lucas 2) the dumb hate campaigns Chiara has unfortunely been through; a lot of locals aren't voting for her 3) that, minus Ruslana's and part of Bea's individual fandoms, the supposed fans of Juanjo and Martin (Chiara's friends, mind you) hate Chiara and they are trying to vote her out, which strategically it's stupid as fuck considering that Lucas is tied in popularity polls with Martin and could easily kick him out in the finals if he stayed. Same with Naiara fans, if Lucas stays, Lucas' fans will vote for him and Naiara will lose votes and won't win the contest, because according to the polls, the winner right now could be either Naiara or Ruslana, because they're both tied. That could change, though. If Chiara is expelled and doesn't make it to the finals, all her fandom's votes would definitely go to Ruslana, which really isn't good for Naiara either.

Now, do I think Chiara will for sure be expelled this week? No, because, for example, the gap yesterday was of 45%-55% in otactualidad and now it's 50%-50% or so I believe; plus, Directoot has posted good things about Chiara today, and Directoot has a lot of influence on the casual fans. We still have a lot of time until Monday and a lot of things can change in a week; look, for example, Cris started off losing 30%-70% and he ended up losing 48%-52% and almost kicking out BEA of all people. Salma started off tied and even winning against Alex and in a week she was gone with like 39%-61%. And listen, I watched OT2017. I saw Ana Guerra stay with 50,3% of the votes against Agoney after the most stressful week of my life. After that, anything is possible and we're campaigning hard and we still have a few days, so I'm not just gonna give up lmao. Keep voting and this could still change.

Now, if Chiara stays, I predict that she'd most likely make it to the finals and a 4th place for her, or a 3rd place maybe due to how big her fandom is, and both Naiara and Ruslana could end up either 1st or 2nd place. Juanjo is definitely a finalist but honestly I'm not sure in what position he'd end up, most of all if Martin is a finalist as well because they share a fandom and they'd divide votes. Martin could get his place easily taken by Lucas if he stays (which is why his fandom is dumb to vote to save him). Paul is definitely a finalist and a possible top 3 or 4 as of now, and Bea is in the air because even though she is one of the most talented people of the edition, her fandom is small compared to the others; if she's not chosen by the teachers to be a finalist, Chiara and Ruslana's fans would definitely vote her so she could be one UNLESS the one also fighting for the spot was Chiara or Ruslana, but you never know with the other fandoms. In any case, what position you end up in the contest doesn't really matter tbh; in fact, a lot of people don't want their faves to he the winner because most times the most successful ones end up being the 2nd place (see: Aitana, Alba Reche or David Bisbal being more famous than Amaia, Famous Oberogo or Rosa López) or even THE FIRST EXPELLED can end up being the most successful (see, Lola Índigo). You never know with this contest; honestly, the ones I see being more successful outside are Chiara, Ruslana, Naiara, Violeta and Paul. The others? Who knows, but in a few years no one will remember some of them; it always happens.

[ecrivainsolitaire]

I was really enjoying your recent post celebrating the highlights of 2022.

...until I came across the last line about the Rings of Power (RoP) show and my heart sank.

I'm honestly pretty devastated to see the show included on a list alongside literal war criminals.

I have no doubt RoP was a cash grabbing exercise for besos and the prime video executives.

BUT for the cast and crew (many of whom are relatively unknown) it was clearly a labour of love. This is evident in any of the behind the scenes content (try Bear McCreary's or Lloyd Owen's interviews - the passion is palpable!). Btw it's completely valid for fans to not agree with the creators interpretation of Tolkien and to respectfully discuss their opinions/disappointment, but to try and claim that this entire production was a farce - as if besos himself penned it - is so damaging. It dismisses the dedication of the hundreds of creatives involved in the project. Furthermore, if Amazon didn't win the rights to lotr it just would have been one of the other big players (for example, Netflix reportedly pitched an MU style Aragon spinoff).

Amazon has stakes in several other high profile IPs so it's unlikely it's future is inexplicably tied to ROP. If the show does ultimately fail, who do you think is most affected? The dedicated cast and crew. So why are you proposing we celebrate this?

Logging onto the internet the last few months as a fantasy fan has been difficult. On one end of the spectrum, there's the tirade of misogynistic and racial hate directed at the RoP cast. And at the other end, the lefties circles I can usually rely on for sensible discourse are proposing that we boycott the show just to send a message to besos? It's hell here!

Now I'm aware in writing this that I sound like a total Amazon apologist. This is a surreal position to be in considering how much I detest besos and his ethics. Truly, I just want to protect my favourite creatives and it just so happens that a lot of them rely on media conglomerates to greenlight their ideas and visions. It's one of capitalism's more bewildering traps.

And, on a personal note, the show meant a lot to me as a female fantasy fan (it's rare and refreshing to be gifted such a prominent array of female characters who are written first and foremost as people - with minimum influence from the male gaze and the constraints of gender politics).

I ask that you consider my thoughts before including the show in future posts like your previous one. Imo, posts like that contribute unnecessarily to an unjustified hate campaign that is primarily harming creatives and their fans.

I have no feelings towards or against the show itself. My issue is with Amazon and their constant monopolistic grab on every industry by throwing tons of money at it to make competition impossible. If the show gets bought up by some other media company (except Apple for similar reasons) it's fine for me. I have no idea why so many people read my post and thought it meant "I hate this particular TV show on the levels of war crimes" but I ask you and everyone else to offer a shred of good faith when reading.

[welcome-to-hawkins]

Perfect- Eddie Munson x reader

Warnings- 18+, MDNI, smut, oral (m receiving), deepthroating, pet names.

Eddie x gn!reader

You really didn’t know how you ended up here, on your knees, between the spread thighs of a man you were calling creepy only four hours ago.

“I’m being serious Steve, all these kids running about talking about him like this… it’s weird! Not to mention the fact that he makes them call him the Dungeon Master!! He’s 20 years old hanging out with a bunch of thirteen year olds…” you ranted, sick of hearing your little brother worship the man.

“I hear you. But honestly I think he’s harmless. I mean the guy can’t even graduate” he shrugged, putting the borrowed videos back on their shelf.

“So you’re telling me you’re not in the least concerned that Dustins replaced you with a… newer, creepier model? That you’ve been replaced?” You mocked, exploiting his jealously over the youngest Henderson’s new found bestie.

“Ha ha, but i’m not the one who’s so obsessed with him that they’ve been talking about him for the last hour” Steve punctuates his sentence with a pointed glance to the clock. Shit, he was right. You were supposed to be picking Dustin up in five minutes and it was at least 15 across town to the school.

You made it a whole two hours before talking about Eddie again, although this time it was Mike who brought him up.

“Hey did you ask about this weekend yet?” He prompted.

“Oh uh, yeah, about that…” Dustin directed his mumbling at you, “we’re kind of planning on hanging out at Eddies place this weekend to prep for the new campaign” he avoided eye contact, knowing full well you wouldn’t approve of them spending a whole weekend in Eddies drug filled bachelor pad.

“He invited you to spend the weekend?” Venom dripped from your tongue.

“He’s really not that bad once you get to know him, and his place is clean” Dustin slipped up.

“You’re telling me you’ve been to his house? Where he sells drugs and screws whores?” Anger overtook you at the idea of the kids being alone in Eddies drug trailer. Mike at least had the good sense to look apologetic, but Dustin simply rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know what your problem is with him! His place is nice and he’s really not as bad as you make him out to be.”

“Fine, if he’s so cool he won’t mind me going over to check how ‘nice’ his place is, will he?” You didn’t wait for a response before grabbing your keys and storming out to give Eddie Munson a piece of your mind.

•

It wasn’t until you were parked outside of his trailer that you realised you hadn’t thought this through. I mean what exactly were you planning on saying to him? Let me in so I can tell you all of the ways you’re a bad influence on my little brother? Not likely. He’d call you insane.

I mean holding a grudge against the guy just because he flirted with your best friend Chrissy in fifth grade instead of you? Real mature.

You sighed and got out of the car. Knocking on his front door you tugged on the front of your shirt, trying to smooth out wrinkles that weren’t there.

“Ah, the eldest Henderson. Finally! I wondered how long it would be before you were on my doorstep” he gestured widely for you to enter, silver rings glinting in the artificial light. “So, what will it be? Weed? Molly? Figure you need something to help you loosen up” he grins at you, as if he didn’t just insult you.

“See this is exactly why I don't want my brother spending time with you. You’re gonna corrupt him! Offering me drugs, seriously Eddie? I’m supposed to trust you with my kid brother?" You weren’t as angry as you’d expected to be, aside from the snide comment. His trailer was the opposite of what you’d anticipated, looking more like an old man lived there than a drug dealer.

“Hey, i’m not responsible for the kid. Harrington is the babysitter supreme, remember? I’m just their Dungeon Master” he shrugged, as if you were supposed to understand what that was. He dropped into the couch and threw his arms across the back, confident in a way only he could pull off without being smug.

“What does that even mean? God it’s like you’re some sort of cult leader. Do you get off on making everyone call you that as if it really means something?” You snapped, not realising you were playing right into his hands.

“Oh no, baby. That’s not what gets me off” his predatory gaze rakes up your body, meeting your gaze “I get off on having pretty little things like you beg for me” he smirks.

“In your dreams Munson” your cheeks burn as you tear your eyes away from his.

“Every night” his voice is low, and you can practically feel him sizing you up.

You don’t know who moves first, you or him, but you meet somewhere in the middle; a clash of teeth and hands tearing at each other’s clothing.

“Fuck Eddie” you moan pornographically as he bites down against your throat, no doubt leaving a trail of dark blotchy bruises that you’ll have to hide in the morning.

“Always so perfect, isn’t that right baby? Teachers pet. Bet it drives you crazy wanting me to ruin you so bad” his hands roam and grope at every exposed chunk of flesh they can find whilst your hands make quick work of his belt.

You sunk to your knees below him, tugging his jeans down his thighs and exposing the damp stain of pre-cum on his boxers.

“Right now I'd say it’s me ruining you, isn’t it Eds?” You bent your head to kiss him through the fabric and moaned when he twitched beneath your lips. His head was thrown back against the sofa cushions, full lips parted wickedly.

You pulled the waist of his boxers down and watched as his thick cock slapped against his abdomen. You were fucked.

Six inches and thick Eddie really was sinful in every way.

His head shot up to watch as you took his throbbing tip into your mouth. Using your tongue to stroke the underside of his cock you bobbed your head, taking more of him into your mouth.

The responding groan he let out would fuel your wet dreams for months.

You doubled your efforts to take him all the way into your throat, looking up at him through your lashes. He cursed under his breath and bucked his hips up into your mouth, chasing his release.

“So good for me, fuck. Gonna ruin you. Make you all dirty like me, show everyone who you belong to” he recited the words like a promise.

It was like a challenge. Prove to him that you weren’t always so perfect. You brought your hands up to stroke up his chest, one going to cup his balls. You met his sloppy thrusts eagerly, eyes watering as he hit the barrier in the back of your throat.

Your eyes met his once more as you finally relaxed and took him all the way into your throat. He threaded one hand into the back of your hair and guided you up and down his shaft.

The trailer was silent aside from his low groans and you gagging around him. The noise was lewd; filthy, and you couldnt have been more turned on.

“Shit, i’m gonna come” he warned, giving you the choice to pull away.

The dark trimmed hair around his base tickled your nose and you muscles tense as he cries out beneath you, hot spurts of come erupting as you swallowed around his length.

The real reward, though, was his strangled moan and the subsequent heavy breathing as he wound down from his high, stroking a hand through your hair.

You let his length fall back against his stomach, and swallowed the last of his cum that had painted your tongue. He tucked himself back into his boxers and kicked his jeans off from round his ankles.

“God, you really are perfect at everything” he teased, tugging you towards him by your cheeks, “guess i’ll just have to keep you around til i’ve properly corrupted you”.

The kiss this time was gentle and lazy, tongue exploring your mouth as if you had all the time in the world. Tasting his own cum against your tongue he groaned, “or maybe til you’ve corrupted me”.

Copied from my other account because I seem to be banned. Message me if you’d like to see more!

[mylordshesacactus]

Goals Only Matter In Soccer

A recurring theme I hear from people struggling to “figure out” roleplaying is that they feel their characters are flat, uninteresting, or that they’re otherwise bad at character creation because their characters don’t have “goals.” Or, as the flip side of that coin, that they themselves are bad roleplayers because they either can’t remember their characters’ goals, or can’t/don’t enjoy actually roleplaying those goals.

(A short break for shameless self-promotion: If you want some one-on-one assistance with character creation or are struggling to roleplay, I do one-hour consult sessions to give you specific help in tapping into your RPG character. You get tailored guidance with no attempts to tell you what you “should” do, and I get to ethically keep my therapeutic interviewing skills from getting rusty while in grad school limbo. Everyone wins!)

This is getting a bit esoteric. Let’s use some concrete examples.

Some common “goals” might be: A wizard whose goal is to become more powerful or gain a certain form of knowledge, a noble-born character whose goal is to restore their family’s name or wealth, or the evergreen goal of avenging a great wrong like the death of a loved one.

These are all great character goals! There is nothing wrong with having a character with a clear goal they work toward over the course of the game, and making a character with a clear goal is a great way to get started with roleplaying! 

But it is only one method. And it’s not always appropriate.

I’m about to blow your damn mind: Characters don’t need goals. 

The idea that a well-rounded character should always have a “goal” is pervasive, and honestly harmful to good character creation and roleplaying! And it’s even more difficult to overcome because if you look for roleplaying or character-building advice, “give them a goal” is generally one of the first bullet points. This is well-meaning, and it’s not bad advice. But if it leaves you feeling like your character is incomplete because they don’t have A Goal—or worse, feeling obligated to tack on a “goal” and struggle to prioritize it in roleplay—then it’s not helpful.

Characters do not need “goals”.

But all characters need motivations.

As usual, I’m going to use my own characters as an example so you don’t feel like I’m lecturing you. I think I only have one major D&D character who could be stated to have a “goal”--my halfling druid/fighter, who wants to repay her debt to the Circle so that she can make a clean and respectful break and live her own life without guilt. 

But the others? Benny (Benevolence, but only her mom calls her that), my tiefling bard, doesn’t have a “goal” she works toward; in all honesty, her goal was her pre-campaign life. She likes being a travelling musician, she wants to perform and meet people across the continent! Rinda, my dwarven paladin, has five kids at home--her nieces and nephews, who she adopted after her sister’s tragic death in a mine collapse. She’s got no career ambition because she feels that chasing rank or prestige is inappropriate in a paladin, whose priority should be ordinary people and who needs to be accessible and grounded in the reality of the common folk. Her “goal” is to just keep being an honorable, mid-rank paladin and providing for her family.

That’s not remotely helpful in a tabletop RPG! Those are terrible “goals” for a character in a team-based game! If I followed general beginner RP advice and leaned into those goals, I’d end up that dreaded monstrosity, the player who says things like “but why would my character get involved? She would just let the town guard handle it”.

However, these characters’ motivations are a different story.

Benny doesn’t set out with the goal of becoming a hero; it’s not something she consciously works toward or considers a major aspiration. But she is responsible for what she allows, and at her core, Benevolence was well-named. She was raised by loving parents who taught her how to raise working animals and livestock ethically and with compassion, and who taught her the regret that comes of making selfish decisions. Helping others and minimizing suffering isn’t her life goal. She didn’t set out from home with a dream of being better than her parents, of putting good into the world instead of just mitigating the bad...but sometimes people really do just help others because it’s the right thing to do. 

Rinda? Her driving purpose will always be her family. Caring for them is her goal, the thing she intentionally prioritizes, the thing she actively works for. But her motivations are not the same thing. Yes, she wants to stay close to take care of her kids...but her responsibilities as a paladin are important to. She’s a protector who swore an oath, and her children are not more important than children in the next city over who will suffer without her intervention. Her motivation is to make people feel safe, but that’s not really a traditional “goal”. And she’s a stronger character for that!

So: Motivations > Goals. 

Which does NOT mean that your character shouldn’t have a concrete goal! That’s not what I’m saying at all. Rather...if your character has a concrete goal, arising naturally from their backstory, and you struggle to roleplay that goal, it may be because you’re not tapping into why your character has that goal in the first place. Are they seeking power because they’re terrified of a specific enemy? To prove a detractor or an abuser wrong? In order to accomplish a specific task--and in that case, who or what made them believe that task was important? Why is your rogue trying to avenge the death of his sister--and you can’t say “love” or “grief”. Many people have lose loved ones; what made this specific person decide that the only way forward was murder, and that his target(s) were responsible, and that he personally had to dedicate his life to killing them?

(This course of questioning may lead you to realize that you don’t have an answer. If that happens, ask yourself--is this a realization that your CHARACTER might have? That they don’t know why they’re doing this? Follow that thread! If not, it’s possible that you’ve tacked on an artificial “goal” for the sake of having one, and your character would be stronger without that anchor weighing them down.)

Sedge, that druid/fighter from earlier--her goal is to repay a massive debt so that she can be free of the Circle’s influence and live her own life. But her motivation? A mixture of shame and honor. The Circle saved her from a lot of predatory loans from bad people, rescued her, saved her life. She’s embarrassed at ending up so deep in debt and too proud to not repay that kind of kindness, but also feels a genuine gratitude for their kindness toward a total stranger. She wants to do right by them--but hates being a druid--but has always wanted to be the kind of hero who helps others exactly as selflessly as they did. 

It creates a lot of in-depth roleplay possibilities that wouldn’t exist if I’d just left that goal as simple as “acquire X amount of gold to pay off her student loans” and proceeded to play Sedge as simply money-obsessed.

Even if your character does have a clear goal, their motivations can change and come into conflict with it! A heroic character with debts to repay might easily refuse a huge payday if it requires them to do something shady...but they might not. How desperate are they? A wizard whose goal is to unlock the power to cast Wish might see a path to that goal...but pursuing it would mean abandoning a helpless village in the path of an orc army, and if she stays to defend that village, she loses her opportunity.

What wins out, in the end? And what effect will that choice have on her psyche?

Suddenly it really, really matters why she’s so dead-set on learning Wish. Whether it’s out of pride or fear (which might be easier for her to set aside in the face of innocent lives) or out of a deep-rooted belief that something absolutely essential rests on her learning this spell—something a lot harder to turn her back on.

These conflicts can occur with or without a “goal”. But, whether a character has a “goal” or not, these conflicts and intimate, pivotal character moments absolutely cannot exist in a character without motivations.

[utilitycaster]

🔥 would love to hear more on "the story is better if [Molly]'s dead" bc I agree, but I want to hear your

I hope you don't mind if I use this, as I am wont, to slip in a number of other opinions and elaborate on some other beliefs I hold about story and actual play and narrative; I will also answer the question somewhere within it.

I think the story of Molly's death truly illustrated for me how much people's discussion of things like actual play and narrative is colored by their personal opinions and honestly how frustrating that can be. Obviously your meta is going to be flavored by your opinions, but any argument I've seen that Molly's death isn't good for the story rests on the assumption that a successful story relies on Molly being alive because the person holding that opinion really likes him - it's a completely circular argument. And it's valid to like him, but it means that for anyone for whom Molly was not their favorite character, this argument is meaningless because like. It is a better story when his death is left to stand.

Anyway: When I say it's a better story, I do not think Molly should have deliberately been killed off or anything. I am saying that once he died, the story becomes first about failure and fear of mortality, as half of this scrappy bunch of people who have to fight for something realize that actually yes the world is sometimes just as harsh and unfair as they've been acting, and it becomes about misplaced and powerless guilt for the other half who literally could not do anything to stop it and yet all somehow feel responsible. And they come together, and slowly work through it, but it colors their experience throughout the entire rest of the campaign.

I was often frustrated by the Mighty Nein's hesitancy when it came to boss battles, but also? It made complete sense! Molly died when they went into battle with incomplete information - of course they want to gather more information! It defines how intensely they respond to each others' (temporary deaths): part of why the Nein had only one resurrection ritual and the rest were revivifies as compared to Vox Machina was that they had two clerics with them at all times, but I think Caleb's intense reaction to Nott's death and Jester's similarly intense one for Fjord's comes from the fact that they are so aware of the consequences. This party was irrevocably changed by Molly's death and undoing it later on feels kind of cheap - getting the development without paying the price.

I think the decision Matt made to have Cree resurrect Lucien from Molly's body was an excellent one as it removed that possibility from the table for a long time and cemented the potential finality to the party. I also understand completely that the Mighty Nein would attempt one last time to resurrect Molly, because they are not aware that they are characters in a story and they just want to bring him back in the end, but my god is that the most fortuitous and poetic natural 1 I've ever seen, and I have endless respect for Taliesin's choice not to bring back Molly but rather to be a new person who shares some traits.

I think we see this influence in some ways most literally in Caleb - Liam confirmed that it was pretty up in the air whether he'd use the T-dock until close to the actual scene where he made that choice, and I think that final failed resurrection was a major factor in helping him come to terms with the finality of death and with his perceived failures and being able to let go, although the process had already been started.

In the end, I think the Mighty Nein's story turns into one best described by the seminal 90s song Hey Jealousy: the past is gone but something might be found to take its place. All these characters had every reason to be stuck in a difficult past and all of them managed to strike a truly impressive balance of going back to something not dissimilar than where they started, while still profoundly changed as people, specifically because they accepted the death or change (and, as any tarot reader or person made to study Jungian archetypes in school can tell you, death is often used to symbolize change).

[bloody-bee-tea]

Beetober 2021 Day 3 - Eternity

Jiang Cheng is listlessly walking through his apartment. He gets like this sometimes and he knows it’s better to just wait it out for now, but he feels like a remnant piece of time, left behind without anything to do and he hates these days.

It feels like he does nothing but wait and wait and wait and he’s so sick and tired of it, especially since he doesn’t even know what he’s waiting for.

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli says from the door and he whirls around to her.

“A-jie,” he greets her and welcomes her hug, if only because it gives him something to do.

“What’s going on?” she asks and Jiang Cheng hates how perceptive she is.

“Nothing,” he tries, but she levels him with her best ‘don’t even try to fool me’ look and he sighs. “I don’t know.”

“You can talk to me,” she offers, pulling him over to the couch where she pushes him down and expectantly sits next to him.

And for a moment he’s tempted; he’s tempted to tell her everything if only so he can get it off his chest. But then he sees how happy she looks and how unburdened she is by this life and he knows that he can’t.

It wouldn’t be fair to her.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jiang Cheng softly tells her and pets the hand on his arm. “It’s just one of those days.”

“I don’t believe you,” she says, but she softens her words with a kiss to his cheek. “But I won’t push if you don’t want to tell me.”

“And this is why you’re my favourite,” Jiang Cheng tells her with a smirk. “That gremlin would have poked and pestered me.”

“And he wouldn’t have gotten anywhere either,” Jiang Yanli very accurately predicts and Jiang Cheng nods.

If he’s going to tell anyone at all, then it would be Jiang Yanli and certainly not Wei Wuxian.

“A-Cheng, I’m ho-ome!” Nie Huaisang yells suddenly as he lets himself into Jiang Cheng’s apartment and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“I apologize in advance,” he tells Jiang Yanli, even though by now she knows how Nie Huaisang can get sometimes.

“That’s alright. I just wanted to check up on you anyway, because Jin Ling sent you several texts and he said you didn’t reply.”

“Oh, right, my phone,” Jiang Cheng mutters and looks around the living-room.

He still sometimes forgets that phones are a thing now and especially on days like this it’s hard to use them and not be absolutely baffled by how things have change.

“I’ll make sure to write him once I find it,” he promises Jiang Yanli, who nods, clearly satisfied with his answer.

“Alright, then I’ll leave you and your not-boyfriend alone for now,” she tells him with a wink and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he gives back and he wonders why no one believes him when he says it.

“Sure he’s not,” Jiang Yanli sing-songs and walks over to the door. “Bye, A-Cheng’s not-boyfriend,” she says with a laugh and then leaves a spluttering Nie Huaisang in the hallway.

“Why is that still going on?” Nie Huaisang demands to know once he comes into the living-room. “Why is no one believing us when we say that we are not actually boyfriends?”

“I have no goddamn clue,” Jiang Cheng sighs and lets his head fall back, closing his eyes. “But I hate it.”

“Are you alright?” Nie Huaisang asks, putting his blessedly cool hands over Jiang Cheng’s eyes and it’s chasing away the headache he didn’t even notice yet.

“No,” Jiang Cheng admits. “It’s just one of those days.”

“Where you’re trying to figure out what you’re waiting for?”

“Yes,” he agrees. “I mean—why am I still here? I get why you’re still here, but why me? I have everyone back and they are all happy, without any drama in their lives and I just don’t get it,” he rambles and Nie Huaisang makes an understanding noise but it’s not like he has an answer for Jiang Cheng either.

Neither of them know why it’s only them who cultivated to immortality, and it’s not like anyone has given them any answers either. The only clue they found about this during their centuries and millennials of searching for answers is that they will re-enter the circle of reincarnation once they find what they are waiting for.

It’s pretty easy to figure out what Nie Huaisang is waiting for, especially since in all their different lives they have never once encountered Nie Mingjue but Jiang Cheng can’t say the same for himself.

He tried a dozen different things over his different lives; he made sure he and Wei Wuxian stayed friends, he spent one dedicated life to be Lan Wangji’s friend, he helped Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get married and be happy and have Jin Ling and this is not the first life where all of this is true.

Jiang Cheng has everything he missed; even his parents are still around and surprisingly enough he’s on good-ish terms with both of them.

There is nothing he is missing and yet he is still as immortal as he’s been for centuries now.

“Maybe you’re waiting for him, too,” Nie Huaisang says and Jiang Cheng sighs.

He doesn’t outright deny it, because it could be after all, but—“I just don’t understand why I would.”

It’s not like he and Nie Mingjue had a good relationship in their first life. Tragedy struck too soon for them to form anything at all.

“You did propose a courtship with him,” Nie Huaisang reminds him and Jiang Cheng sighs again.

“I did, but more for political reasons, you know that. Your Sect was strong, even after the Sunshot Campaign and it would have been good for Yunmeng Jiang. And besides. It’s not like I got an answer.”

“Aw, Jiang-xiong, come on, you can admit it,” Nie Huaisang teases him and climbs over the back of the couch so he can poke at Jiang Cheng’s face better. “You had a crush on my brother. It wasn’t all political.”

“And what about it?” Jiang Cheng gives back as he slaps Nie Huaisang’s hand away. “Who didn’t have a crush on your brother. And if this is the logic you want to go with, then it’s just as plausible that I’m waiting for Xichen.”

“You do know that he cultivated to immortality in his seclusion, right?” Nie Huaisang asks and he’s serious right now.

Jiang Cheng knows Nie Huaisang well enough by now to know that while he doesn’t really regret his actions back in their very first life he does feel bad for Lan Xichen.

“I went to see him a few years back,” Jiang Cheng admits. “Or maybe decades? I can’t remember at this point.”

“Oh.” Nie Huaisang shuffles down the couch, just enough to put his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap and it’s only when Jiang Cheng starts to card his fingers through his hair that he speaks again. “How is he doing?”

“Not so well, I think,” Jiang Cheng softly says. “I told him that we encountered Meng Yao a few times, but it didn’t seem like he’s interested in hearing this. I think—at this point he’s just punishing himself.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for da-ge, too.”

“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng agrees, because it is possible. “If we ever do end up finding him, we’ll have to bring him there.”

“Sure,” Nie Huaisang agrees. “Do you think—he’ll remember?”

Not everyone they have encountered remembered their first life, or even any that followed after and it differs from reincarnation to reincarnation.

“Does it really matter?” Jiang Cheng gives back.

“No,” Nie Huaisang decides.

Jiang Cheng hums, because he didn’t expect anything else and then they fall into silence.

Jiang Cheng honestly dreads the day they find Nie Mingjue because if Nie Huaisang is wrong and Nie Mingjue is not actually what Jiang Cheng is waiting for then he’ll be all alone in the world, and he’s not sure he could take it.

But even thinking that feels mean towards both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng pushes those thoughts away.

It’s not like he has any influence over this anyway.

~*~*~

In the end, Nie Mingjue finds them. They are just on their way back to their apartment, bickering over the groceries, when it happens.

“Huaisang? Wanyin?”

They whirl around only to come face to face with Nie Mingjue.

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang cries out, dropping all of their groceries and flinging himself at Nie Mingjue. “Da-ge, you’re here!”

“Di-di,” Nie Mingjue chokes out, burying his face in Nie Huaisang’s hair and Jiang Cheng wonders if he only remembered his past life now that he saw them or if he knew all along.

“What is happening?” he asks, and Jiang Cheng figures it’s the first.

He looks good, he has to give him that; clad in modern clothes like they all are these days and that still somehow strike Jiang Cheng as strange, but his hair is still braided with the distinctive Qinghe Nie braids.

If he didn’t remember before, then clearly his subconscious did.

“I have missed you so much,” Nie Huaisang sobs out and Jiang Cheng turns around, busying himself with picking up the groceries that are littered all over the floor now.

“We should move this to my apartment,” Jiang Cheng says, trying his best to be happy for Nie Huaisang instead of bitter.

Nie Huaisang is going to die in this lifetime and Jiang Cheng will have to go on alone.

“Sure,” Nie Mingjue mutters, clearly still shocked by what is happening but Jiang Cheng hears them both follow him.

Nie Huaisang babbles excitedly at Nie Mingjue, bringing him up to speed on everything that happened after he died and Jiang Cheng tries to blend it out.

That was his most miserable life and he doesn’t want to be reminded too much of it, even though it’s long past and he never allowed it to be that bad again.

The Nie brothers keep up a constant chatter in Jiang Cheng’s back until he lets them all into his apartment and then Nie Mingjue reaches out to grab his elbow.

“It’s good to see you, too, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng even believes him.

He wants to give the sentiment back but when he turns around he catches Nie Mingjue’s eyes and everything comes to a stop for a heart-stopping moment.

“I would have said yes, you know, if death hadn’t robbed me of that opportunity,” Nie Mingjue tells him, his voice shaking the slightest bit and Jiang Cheng can almost feel how his immortality is leaving him.

“I’ve waited an eternity for you,” Jiang Cheng accuses him but he’s still shaken from the revelation that it was indeed Nie Mingjue he was waiting for all this time.

“And we’re getting our chance now,” Nie Mingjue immediately promises him, making Jiang Cheng honest to god flush, even though he thought himself to be long past that.

“Oh, fuck no,” Nie Huaisang whispers in the background and when Jiang Cheng manages to tear his eyes away from Nie Mingjue he has to laugh at the comical face he makes.

“You told me again and again that maybe your brother is who I’m waiting for. And now you’re saying that?”

“I didn’t mean—I didn’t consider the consequences!” Nie Huaisang wails and slaps his hands over his eyes. “I don’t want to see this!”

“Too bad,” Nie Mingjue says and smiles at Jiang Cheng. “Because it’s happening.”

Jiang Cheng is helpless against that smile and he figures it’s only fair. He took chances with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and even his parents; he made sure his sister is beyond happy and that nothing bad happens to any of them.

And now it’s time that he gets his chance.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[hayleysayshay]

How would you say you feel about certain tlovm ships? I find myself mostly apathetic to them and more interested in the found family aspects though Perc'ahlia seems solid naratively in both show and campaign.

So I’ll say with TLOVM I see a few ships mentioned constantly.

I’ll say I’m never really been a massive shipper and skew more platonic and found family in general and tend to stick to canon ships because I am boringggg (unless it ends open ended and I find the ship interesting).

However because I love the show, I’ve found fanfic an easy way to explore the world and characters. It’s an ‘in’. So yes, I have read all of these. Mostly Perc’ahlia.

Perc’ahlia: look I keep reblogging this. I just really love it. Gives me girl boss and male wif vibes. I also love the general slow burn of it. Yes I’m referring more to the campaign than the show. But she can get through to him and I think he would be this dependable and steadying influence to her (when we see more of Vex’s character). I’m surprised about how much I enjoy it considering how little I usually care. The ‘take off the mask’ so she can see him at his worst moment is like fucking poetry to me. Also they’re sexy.

Vaxleth: I really don’t have much opinion. Vax likes her, it’s implied she might like him back but rejects him because of the timing and doesn’t feel exactly the same way. Like? They just show them liking each other and there’s no real build up to it. Vax thinks she amazing at the start and still thinks that at the end. However I think there’s strong potential to show that relationship dynamic change so I’m interested, just not enamoured.

Vexleth: this honestly feels like a first crush Keyleth has on Vex but I have a feeling it won’t lead anywhere. Like the thing that’s interesting me about the ship is maybe Keyleth having a crush on the idea of Vex but not really knowing Vex herself. I’m finding the most angsty angle.

Percildan: The alternative Percy ship. Like the show has given me very little for this other than hate sex so I guess if that’s your thing I can see it. I think this has more basis in the campaign where their relationship is close then gets dramaful in it etc etc (also I believe Percy has had a kiss from both twins maybe?)

Pikelan: I didn’t like Scanlan in the first two episodes (I didn’t like them much in general but I adore the Briarwood arc and the characters in that arc) but looks beloved sex maniac x power gnome is cute (especially since I know we get Scanlan angst later on in the series as well).

I think that’s all the ships? Apart from Polymachina. Which I’m always down with.

I think I wish we had a bit more platonic besties moment in the show. Supposedly Keyleth and Percy have a good friendship in the campaign but we only really had one scene between them. The rest of their scenes are like anything else.

I think an issue I had, and I have mentioned it briefly, is that I couldn’t understand why they were still travelling together and looking for work if they didn’t like each other that much. Like why was Percy with them. He’s an arsehole. Why would Scanlan be travelling with them? Why are Vex and Vax with them and not going it alone? I just couldn’t figure out if they were meant to have just met as a work group and still getting to know their dynamic or if they were meant to be close friends. Like I was genuinley confused by this during the first episodes. This was my introduction and I didn’t get the characters at all. I’m glad episode three was so intriguing.

Like I fully believe that they sprung Percy from a jail cell in the cartoon like a month before the first two episodes because that’s the only way that makes sense to me.

Basically I want more found family moments in the show and I want them to clarify the relationships between each other. Hopefully season 2 doesn’t have many romantic moments, it’s just building up the later romances and current friendships.

So yeah, love the found family aspect! Especially with all their pasts, even those not shown in the show. They all have pain and could find life together. Like, You mean this gnome family adopted Grog? This big goliath in this tiny gnome house? That’s adorable. I love that. I want to see that, and them all loving each other.

If the show had the budget for two more episodes, I’d have two episodes between the dragon episodes and the Briarwood arc. Maybe a Scanlan and Pike and Grog centric emotional arc. That would flash back very briefly to how the group all met each other. Please I just needed some clarification.

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

[captainsspnanon]

C2E38 - Welcome to the Jungle - rewatch

Wooden mug for Caleb again!  I swear I don’t remember this at all XD

Also, once again, I feel like Nott just doesn’t actually want to be a rogue.  Sam was prompted by Laura to be scouting, and I honestly don’t know if he would have decided to on his own.  He clearly enjoys the hiding and shooting bits, and Nott likes those bits too, and he’s leaned in hard to her being a pickpocket and thief, but the actual rogue mechanics like lockpicking and searching for traps?  He never actually seems to want to play that, and Nott rarely takes the initiative to do so on her own.  He (and she!) seem much more excited by the magic aspect of the subclass.  And we can’t blame this on Liam picking his class, because we know that Liam actually just made suggestions that Sam ended up going for.  So Sam IS the one who decided he wanted to play a rogue, but iunno, he just doesn’t seem to enjoy a lot of the mechanics of it.  Or rather, he doesn’t seem to want to do the mechanics of it, a lot of the time.  We do know that Liam DID pick his C3 race/class, so I’m really hoping that it’s one that Sam actually enjoys playing and enjoys or is interested in the mechanics of it.  (Having seen up through episode 12 it seems so?  But it’s also something that I feel needs a good number of episodes yet before a solid decision can be made)

I do love how basically everyone in this campaign made deceptive characters with easy stealth.  Honestly influenced me in trying to figure out why someone would play a PC with heavy armor, especially with the stealth penalty that Pike had.  Everyone but Yasha and Beau can disguise themselves, I just love it so much.  This such a deceptive group of assholes, which they do lean into pretty hard (and it fucks them over several times), but it makes those moments of honesty and truth even more powerful.  Especially considering by the end of the campaign, no one is lying anymore.  No one hides anymore.  And it’s just SO POWERFUL.

Random deep voiced Sam, HELLO

Marisha asking Sam if he got a haircut, him responding that he just styled it different, and her saying it looks good.  I LOVE IT

This is where Nott gets her magnifying glass, yes!!!

I like that there WAS a trap, but because it had been abandoned so long, the trap was useless anyway.   So many times, the trap is always dangerous no matter how long it’s been set, so even though this was more just flavor than a real encounter, it was still nice to see.

Oh, Jester asking “who’s Nila” is an unexpected heartbreak.  :(  When Caduceus asks about a previous thing they are talking about (such as when they were discussing the merrow and he said he didn’t remember that at all) it comes across more funny than sad.

UGH I just read TheChekhov’s c2e141 reaction.  MY HEART.  If you like these, YOU’LL PROBABLY LIKE THOSE.  GO CHECK IT OUT.   SO MUCH RECOMMEND.  (they only start midway through, but that’s okay)

Sam shouts “hey Fjord!  Fjord!”  “I whisper”  YOU TROLL ILU

Caduceus casts Eyes of the Grave (Taliesin how did your mind instantly go to ‘undead’ from not being bothered by bugs??), Sam says “Beau starts glowing” and Marisha goes “plot twist!” I LOVE IT

And Jumanji Costco is a Hollow One.  (Hollowed One?  Pretty sure it’s Hollow One).   I was wondering why Matt created this new race instead of going with the already established Revenant like Vax was, but I just looked it up and I see the drawbacks to Revenant (one year time limit, soul jumps into different bodies, only around for revenge, etc).  I wonder what prompted him to think about this then?  Especially because he’s created the Lingering Soul class as well, which is also undead, though very different.  What had undead on his brain that he created two completely different race/classes around it?

Here is also our second indicator of Taliesin taking stuff he wanted to play with Molly and bringing it into Caduceus.  Forgot to mention it the first time when Cad was turning undead.  But we know that Molly was the bloodhunter subclass that was against undead, and now Cad clearly has issues with undead.  MORE UNDEAD.  This time, I wonder what was going through Taliesin’s head that it was such an interesting aspect he wanted to play around with that he immediately brought it back?

Yuan-Ti is such a weird race.  Like, snake heads?  Make sense.  Scaly body?  Makes sense.  Snakes for arms?  ...you lost me

Oh fuck are they eating Turkish Delight?  That shit is really good, at least if it’s good quality.

Watching the latest C3 episode and them coming back into Brjeaus and Jester jestering is SO jarring!  ALL THESE GUYS ARE SUCH GOOD ACTORS OH MY GOD.  Though I admit, I would love to see a campaign where Matt could be a full time PC too.  ExU and Undeadwood weren’t enough for me, especially because it was only partial crew.  I want Matt with the full gang, and then someone else DMing.  And not in Exandria, so Matt gets the full player experience of not knowing shit behind the scenes.

LIAM BURYING HIS FACE IN THE PHB WHEN HE LAUGHS oh I missed this so much

Also being away from this for like two weeks made me really miss Jester so much I LOVE JESTER SO MUCH

Goodbye both clerics scouting with no one else with the ability to heal aside from healing potions.  Oh wait, can’t Yasha heal, technically?

As much as I love the tower (AND I FUCKING LOVE THE TOWER), I do also love the Tiny Hut, because it’s super canon that they have to all sleep together in this tiny squished space, so you KNOW there’s cuddle piles all over the place.  Okay, maybe the cuddle piles aren’t canon, but they’re CANON IMPLIED.

Cad using Vampiric Touch is so weird to me, it’s just a spell that doesn’t really seem to fit with him.  Searching transcripts, he casts it once more later on (which means that he has it prepared multiple times, at least), and Caleb casts it once.  Huh, not a common spell, Taryon was the only one who used it in C1, and it was only used once.  Granted, I don’t really know how this spell compares to others mechanically, but I can see it not being used much because of RP.  I’m surprised at all three who have used it, tbh!  But I am going just on the name, which makes it sound much more Evil™.

Travis - *describes brutal Yasha HDYWTDT*

Travis - *describes brutal Fjord HDYWTDT*

Sam – I’ll shoot it in the nose!

Oh man, I forgot that Liam kept interrupting the narrative with little descriptions of owl!Frumpkin fluttering around, which will make perfect sense very soon as he tries to use Frumpkin when Avantika is asleep, so make her not register him now!  Too bad it doesn’t work, but it’s very smart thinking!

THE BUG STORY!!!!  I forgot that Jamedi actually shared as much as he did!  And also super props to Matt for not breaking at all during that bit

Awwww, Beau not wanting help and toughing it out, and then turning into a sulky child when they do help her ALL THE FEELS!!!!  ...of course, it’s accidentally ruled not fixed this episode, but at the start of next episode I do believe they fix it.  UGH this is giving me Empire Sibs feels when Beau is hurt on the moorbounder and Caleb calls out for a break, claiming he needs it.  I LOVE THE GROUP TAKING CARE OF BEAU WHETHER SHE WANTS IT OR NOT.

(for anyone who has watched the team starkid musical Firebringer, EVERY TIME I see the episode name “welcome to the jungle” my brain instantly launches into “welcome to the stone age!  We are in a new age!  Welcome to the stone age!”  I haven’t even seen the damn musical in at LEAST five years, probably longer!

It’s very interesting that Caduceus was keeping the Jamedi information to himself, then shared with Caleb, and then got very annoyed (as much as Cad does) with the fact that Caleb shared the information.  It feels almost wrong that he would think as such (‘traveling with a bunch of gossips’), but thinking it over, Cad’s been with them for like a week now?  Maybe?  And while the M9 are getting CLOSER, sure, they’re still nowhere near as close as they’ll become further down the line.  It’s such so fucking cool to see this shit knowing where all the PCs end up, and then be like “Cad didn’t share and expected Caleb not to share??  AND WITH NOTT???”

I really do feel like Laura has really shitty dice luck, but I just checked the CRstats article about it and they say that she’s actually pretty close to average.  Maybe she just mourns her poor rolls more vocally, and as such it’s remembered more.

WELL I GOT DISTRACTED AND FORGOT TO ADD COMMENTARY OOPS

I do love how I typed up a whole bunch about loving that they made such a deceptive stealthy group and then they totally fuck the stealthy deceptive bits at the end.

Go Liam for starting to cast Slow, figuring that Matt would call it there.  We’ll see if it’s actually remembered at the start of next episode XD

@suicidallyreckless