#and honestly I just want to die | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tealchameleon · 4 months ago

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does anyone want to be friends. I don’t have discord but I guess I can get it… I could just really use some company rn

#ngl to y’all I’ve never felt this horrible in my entire life #my partner just ended a four year relationship with me #and honestly I just want to die #nothing makes the thoughts of him stop #not even sleeping now apparently #I never ever dream and yet now all of the sudden I start having dreams about him #standing in front of me and then disappearing into thin air as I reach out to touch him #um so yeah I’m fucking going thru it #and I’d rly like to make some more friends to get myself thru this #truly don’t know what else to do bc my world is crumbling around me #and I’m grasping at straws trying to hold on #personal

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moomanmilken · 16 days ago

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>p<

did a bit of a panel redraw, that's all

here's the original panel from x-men (2019-2021) Issue #4

#xmen #xmen fanart #xmen comics #erik lehnsherr #magneto #charles xavier #professor x #cherik #erik x charles #magneto x professor x #honestly i just didnt want to work on this anymore #two posts back to back?! that's crazy! this means im gonna die again in like a week #awaughhh magneto just give me one chance #pleaseeee one chance #ok im done now #my art #krakoa era #cherik fanart #ok now im done fr i just remembered more tags

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myoonmii · 7 months ago

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I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him

#kilgharrah when i catch you #this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core #you were never supposed to succeed love #I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that #thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time)#and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end #say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL #and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has #what else can he do #lets just hope he's right this time #bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #cannot take much more of this guys send help

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trashno0dle · 7 months ago

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please let my twinkified crow son be alright

#im on episode 6 rn and honestly im worried for him #idc if he betrays them i just dont want him to die </3 #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #dead boy detectives monty #dbd monty

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usertoxicyaoi · 10 days ago

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"Are you crazy? Why did you forcibly suspend your cultivation and bring about your own destruction?"

FANGS OF FORTUNE (2024). EPISODE THIRTY TWO.

#fangs of fortune #asiandramasource #dramasource #cdramasource #tvedit #*#faiza gifs #honestly he's IN THERE in top 5 characters OF THE YEAR for me. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL HAUNTED SIMPLE BUT COMPLICATED FULL OF RESENTMENT #YET SO MUCH LOVE BUT DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO USE IT bisexual.#he is EVERYTHING i want. yanan you STAR. you STAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.#like li lun is RIGHT UP THERE with xue yang as one of those characters that just. leave the DEEPEST of impressions on you. even long after #the show's finished. their story is just THAT compelling. THEIR CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE is just THAT sizzling.#anyway. all this is to say that im just SO happy with li lun's entire character arc and story.#like i KNEW he was gonna die anyway and id made peace with so long ago that it just FELT like.#im just so HAPPY that like. HE got to choose HOW and WHEN he'd die. on his OWN terms.#and thats ALL he's ever longed for. SOME form of freedom. and he GOT THAT.

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lyxchen · 26 days ago

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Get up nerdy prudes, it's Halloween!!!

#i'm so proud of this cosplay!!!!#also hello it's ma face :>#grace chasity #cosplay #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #also #i posted the first picture on my insta story #and angela saw it!!!!!!!!#so now i'm happy!!!#if i'm insecure i might delete this post later haha ha #i honestly just really like the pictures i took so i wanted to post them #lea's random thoughts #fun things i made

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im-not-a-l0ser · 9 months ago

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Ethan, to Lex: I just think Max Jagerman is a bad influence on Hannah.

Max w/ Hannah: You saw another fuckin thing? I'll fight it, where the fuck is it

#i like to believe that max is 1: good with kids #and 2: a full believer in hannah's black and white stuff #like he knows #for sure #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #max jagerman #nightmare time #hannah foster #lex foster #ethan green #incorrect quotes #honestly i just wanted to bring this up

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makeriia · 26 days ago

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Fantober day 31!! A free day again.

Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)

#THEM. THEM. *SHAKES HANDS IN AIR* THEEEEEEEMMM #Honestly it’s surprising I havent gotten into the fandom sooner I mean I have been a mythology nerd since??? Uhhh #idk. But every week I see a notif from OSP and jump around in my room because YEAAAHHHH HYSTORY MYTHOS AND TROPES YEAHHHHH #And greek mythology is where the interest began so why am I only NOW getting onto the Hades train only god knows. Maybe multiple. They got #a whole pantheon so idk maybe multiple ON THE OTHER HAND they didn’t know about their own relative OR who his mom is so maybe I give them #too much credit #jkjk jk Zeus dont smite me I listen to ‘’Thunder bringer’’ a lot plz #speaking of epic the musical thats what I wanted to draw originality because HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY?#THE ANIMATICSSSS THE ANIMATICCCSSS THE 3D CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. ODYSSEUS CASUALLY GETTING A JETPACK 💀 okay go off king /gen #HE GOTTA BE DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS GOTTA USE ALL HIS TRICKS IN HIS DOMAIN FOR THIS OH YEAH YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH PLAYING- okay I’ll stop #but we need a Hermes saga Im just saying. I love he. He’s such a dawling #…Also not me healing the ivantill trauma with a different silverhair+blackhair duo huh.#They bring me comfort I love my silly goofy god of nothing/blood and his boyfriend THE GRIM REAPER #my art #thanzag #they make me insane but in a good way #oh to be a guy trying to escape his dads house and then die to a butterfly and hopefully see death himself because he’s cute #hades game #hades fanart #hades zagreus #hades thanatos

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moralesfilms · 4 months ago

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I feel like everyone just forgets that pavitr saved gayatri, his first love, as miles was saving inspector singh.

#which then means that pavitr was about to experience both of his canon events which both he and miles stopped #honestly I just think this shows miguel’s favoritism cause pav’s a society member while miles isn’t #and then there’s the whole anomaly thing so that’s another reason for miguel to blame miles for everything when it was really both of them #and also just wanna mention how scared pav sounded when he thought inspector singh was gonna be killed #this is coming from the same guy who is disliked by inspector singh btw. he disliked him yet pav didn’t want him to die.#spiderverse #atsv #spider man across the spider verse #spiderman atsv #across the spiderverse

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depressed-cherry11 · 4 months ago

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the duffers better not pull a reddie on us with byler istg

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apocalyptic-byler · 5 months ago

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and if i said byler’s first kiss deserves as much passion as jancy’s first kiss then what

#i stand by this #i love jancys first kiss sm #it’ll take a lot to beat it and i firmly believe a passionate gay kiss is the only thing able to beat it #at least for me 😭#but then again it’s byler so.#LIKE LET THEM HAVE AN INTIMATE MOMENT JN THE DARK I MAY ACTUALLY DIE #byler #jancy #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #stranger things 5 #st5 #st5 hopes #st5 scenarios #thinking about that one bujomoss animatic btw #JANCYS FIRST KISS #MAKES ME #SCREAM #YOU CAN TELL THEYVE BEEN WANTING THAT FOR SOOOOO LONG #AND BYLER #IS LITERALLY THE SAME #FIVE SEASONS OF THIS BUILT UP WILL THEY WONT THEY SUBTEXT ROMANCE AND THEYRE JUST GONNA SHARE A SMALL LITTLE PECK ON THE LIPS?????#NAH MAN #THAT WOJLD BE SO ANTICLIMATIC IN MY OPINION #I NEED THEM LIKE GRABBING ONTO EACH OTHER AND BEING DESPERATE AND GREEDY #BECAUSE HONESTLY #THATS WHAT THEY DESERVE #YK????

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platoapproved · 3 months ago

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i know this is 100% not how reality works, and obviously they didn't know if a season 3 was going to happen, and who even knows how many factors are at play in casting and the logistics of a tv show! i am not in that field!

but.

i'm going to be honest. i adore ben daniels, i think he's a phenomenal actor. genuinely so talented and with such gravitas. but here's the thing. as a character, santiago... does not compel me. he's just... evil in a boring way. even though ben daniels CRUSHED it with what he was given, and delivered the best possible performance for that character, santiago is such a nothingburger. they shouldn't have wasted ben daniels on santiago! they should've waited, and cast him as marius. like can you imagine? literally feel a bit sick just thinking about it.

#i just need to rewatch the exorcist #honestly it's probably better for me it didn't happen this way #because instead of an actor i adore playing a character i just don't really care about #it would be an actor i adore playing a character i loathe #but he would've been. like. SO repulsive. i know it. i can envision it.#marius die in a fire for real this time #sorry to anyone who really likes santiago i love that for you he just doesn't do it for me.#i don't want this in the main taaaaaaags #interview with the vampire

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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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ilynpilled · 2 years ago

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A Game of Thrones - Catelyn X

A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII

A Storm of Swords - Jaime I

A Storm of Swords - Jaime III

A Storm of Swords - Jaime IV

Jaime & Passive Suicidal Ideation

His statements and actions concerning the subject are framed as him not being afraid. But he is. He is afraid of what he has become, afraid of confronting himself, afraid of confronting the world, and he is afraid of having to live.

He should not be brave enough to die. He should be brave enough to live.

#i dont think a lot of ppl acknowledge that pre hand loss jaime kinda wants to fucking die deep down #especially when he forgets his fixation on cersei #it is such an interesting obsession that he has with a ‘chivalrous’ death #he completely romanticizes this idea despite his dissillusionment with knighthood #again death is so much easier than confronting the moral paradoxes dilemmas and his self-concept #he is deep down very aware about what he has become and he desperately seeks purpose in just dying with sword in hand #and he does not even reconsider until brienne confronts him and reveals this ideation for what it is #it is cowardice on his part #it is a facade of bravery masking self loathing #dying is easy living is hard #honestly jaime pre handloss was basically just a man slowly destroying himself #and it seeps back sometimes during affc too #hed rather die than end up facing damnation despite all of his efforts #now damnation that is something he is terrified of #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #jaime lannister

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lgbtlunaverse · 1 year ago

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I'm a little bit insane about how in novel canon the whole xiyao ending where Jin Guangyao wants to die with Xichen, who accepts, which then makes jgy change his mind and pushes him away at the last second isn't actually explicit. A lot of adaptations chose to make it so but in the novel this is all VERY up for interpretation.

Here's what actually happens in the text: Lan xichen stabs jgy, jgy moves away from lan xichen, xichen follows him, wwx realizes jgy is about to open the coffin and calls "watch out!" to lan xichen. Jgy unseals nmj, pushes xichen away, nmj kills jgy and they are both dragged into the coffin which is sealed again.

Here's what wei wuxian, our narrator, thinks is happening: Jin Guangyao wanted to lead lan xichen to his death out of revenge for stabbing him. Lan Xichen, unaware, simply followed Jin Guangyao to try and stop him from getting away. Wei wuxian's warning came too late, but Jin Guangyao- for an unknown reason- changed his mind at the last second and pushed lan xichen out of danger before lan xichen had any idea of what was going on.

Here's what most fans as well as the teams behind several adpatations think is happening: Jin Guangyao leads Xichen to nmj's coffin to die with him, Xichen accepts, because of this acceptance, proof xichen still cares for him, Jin Guangyao pushes him out of harm's way. Wei Wuxian just doesn't get that gay people who aren't him or Lan Wangji exist.

Here's what ALSO MIGHT BE HAPPENING: Jin guangyao wants to die in a different way than he is currently dying. Maybe he's afraid of what'll happen to his body after his death like he was scared for his mother's, maybe he wants to confront nmj one last time now that there's nothing more for him to lose, maybe - if he can't take her body with him- he'd at least like his final resting place to be where he buried his mother. Lan Xichen thinks he's trying to get away and follows but Jin Guangyao, who despite everything doesn't want him to die, pushes him away. Xichen doesn't know what happened until it's already happened. What he would've wanted if he had known remains up in the air.

Or, alternatively: Jin Guangyao's reasons are as above, but unbeknowst to Wei Wuxian, Xichen DOES know what jgy is about to do and either misinterprets this as an invitation to all die together, or inidividually decides he, too, is done, and wants to join his sworn brothers in the grave. To Jin Guangyao this has nothing to do with Lan Xichen, and he still doesn't want him to die, so he pushes him away against Lan Xichen's wishes.

Every single one of these interpretations is unhinged and they are all supported by the original text. It's like a choose your own adventure of tragic gay endings.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #3zun #xiyao #rs: i wish it could've been you #honestly which is worse for xichen. Being denied his wish explicitly or only realizing he wanted it after it'd already been denied for him #OR genuinely not wanting to die but being forced to live with the fact that even after he essentially killed him jgy still saved his life #just another way he's in his debt #like no matter what he's not coming out of here okay #i switch between a bunch of these all the time but actually favor the last 2 because they're very underexplored in my opinion #I like it when 'i never even thought about hurting you' remains true to the bitter end. He never even considered it #also I just... have a lot of feelings about that being his mom's coffin #do you remember that in the novel the coffin was so heavy only sect leaders could bear the weight?#so for the burial a group of sect leaders had to be the pallbearers... the SYMBOLISM GUYS!! THE SYMBOLISM!#jgy dies in infamy but despite everything it's the highest of cultivation society who carry the coffin he's buried in #he's in the same coffin as a great sect leader!! As nmj!! After a whole life fighting an uphill battle finally in death they are equal #it's not justice and it's not fair but it's... something #wwx's interpretation is the one i favour the least. sorry bro you remain an unreliable narrator to me.#it feels rather uncharitable towards jgy which makes sense for wwx's pov but makes it not my favorite #there's an alternative version of that intepretation where jgy THINKS he's doing the coffin trio pact and thinks xichen accepts.#and has the same realization of oh no he still cares I don't want him to die and pushes lxc away #meanwhile lan xichen hasn't actually processed any of this because it all happened in about 0.4 seconds #i like that one slightly more but it's still not my favorite #there's tragedy in the misunderstanding but it's a bit convoluted.

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whisperinggbreeze · 11 months ago

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"Has anyone here heard of a god known as the Crown Prince of Xianle?"

Silence.

"Where did you hear that name?" A voice asked sharply. It belonged to General Xuan Zhen.

"I read it in a scroll, and I was curious why I'd never heard of such an interesting figure," Hua Cheng replied smoothly. "It seems like everyone is in the know except me."

General Xuan Zhen scoffed. "If by 'interesting figure,' you mean 'pain in the ass,' then sure. Be glad you've never heard of him. Don't mention him again."

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