#and he was talking about how weird it is to decide who to tell and not that he’s sick

[halo-chainsaw]

Shut up i'm talking patreon only 7$!!!!!

The patreon podcast is out, and I have just finished listening to it!

I decided to write down some notes for those who are interested but do not have the patreon. It's a long one, but I picked out what I thought would be important + silly moments here n there

Podcast is recorded the morning of Dream's video (I'm sorry but not to Tommyinnit)

Tommy called his mom about the situation first, discussing about how it was awful (pre reddit post)

Harry wrote the "you can call me anything but do not call me poor" LOL

Tommy didn't watch the dream stream but read a synopsis, and he said that was enough

He's spoken to Dream privately several times (starting 2023), all his friends told him that dream was taking advantage of him, but he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt

He has told dream to change how he acts, and dream has refused. Has had conversations like this multiple times.

Told dream in a conversation he was no longer speaking to him and was no longer talking to him after he talked to his mom. Was previously ignoring him but blocked him outright.

After his dream v quackity sketch dream sent him awful and mean messages.

Jack and Tommy are pissed off about people saying to "resolve it privately". They have tried multiple times to solve things privately, but Dream will take things public.

Jack had a 2 hour long call with dream on jack's DADS BIRTHDAY??? and it was about why he didn't like dream, and about dream's allegations.

the "Jack mentions Dream" account bothers Jack since its a bunch of indirect things, and him responding to messages rather than him just bringing Dream up.

Dream says Jack spreads rumors about him.

Jack does not think dream is a p*dophile, but he finds the situation(s) he was in wildly inappropriate.

Dream showed everyone his evidence against the grooming allegations in the DreamSMP discord. Jack said he told Dream it weirded him out, because either way, he was still messaging a fan, and it pissed Dream off.

Jack flat out calls Dream "stupid".

He's very pissed about the "unfaithful" rumor, and he's very vocal about it for a minute.

Jack reiterates the editor story with the 50 quid

They point out how the Dream ignores the George and Caiti situation, along with clipping Tubbo out of context.

"I can't believe he thought he could win by just lying. Especially when you've got a reputation of lying." -Jack (paraphrased/two different sentences put together)

Tommy says the video were for him, not everyone else. Makes a jab about Dream unable to use media literacy.

Tommy says Dream knows what he's talking about when he refers to misogyny. That there's so much more behind the scenes, that it's miserable.

Tommy says he doesn't want to do any of this anymore, that it's pointless. He says Youtube doesn't make him happy, that he doesn't fit in, and he wants to be done. He will still be posting to Youtube because he loves making videos, but he doesn't want to be part of the Youtube sphere/culture. He wants to be a proper comedian.

"I might as well go down sayin' what I fuckin' mean." -Tommy

brings up the "putting others down", Tommy reiterates how he's been very kind/warm to everyone, but if someone famous is being an asshole he's gonna make a joke about it. "That's what I've done with Logan, done to you, and what I'm going to continue to do."

Tommy calls him one of the most self indulgent and exhausting people he's ever met.

Brings up Dream calling him the internet police, he says that he's just sick of the bullshit. "When I see it, say it."

Tommy reiterates he can't do this much longer, that it's all pointless. Dream is just doing what he's been doing for years. He is not proud of dream and he doesn't respect him. Tells him straight to "Fuck off".

Tommy would talk to Jack, unsure if what was happening with Dream was odd/bad or not. He's a little relieved that it's in the public eye now.

Jack talks about how everyone on the server is talking against him, that no one is defending him. They've all known he's awful.

Tommy says he felt close to Dream, so he struggled with seeing the bad actions he had done. He felt skewed/manipulated.

Tommy tells a story about back when he was 14, he would annoy people in Hypixel by lobby spamming. One day he heads into a streamer's chat that he looked up to and said hello. the streamer, who was about 20 at the time, tore into him, calling him the R slur and many other horrible things. He said he felt heartbroken and shaken up. "Shit like this just happens along the way, and it's miserable, but like- for me, I just keep remindin' myself "this isn't the first time I've done this"."

Jack tried to make his disassociation as public as possible, he had told Dream to his face (during the allegations) in the DreamSMP discord that he did not want to be associated with him anymore.

Talks about how people still group DreamSMP members with Dream, and how they think every member is bad due to Dream's actions, and he's tired of it.

He doesn't like how public everything is, but he's glad people can finally see that they don't like Dream.

Tommy, from now on, is telling everyone how he feels. He's going to be blatant. (if that's what i understood from a comment he made)

Jack is still shocked that Dream chose that moment of all things to jump in. They have made comments here and there but Dream never said anything.

Jack talks about a part in his stream where he says something along the lines of "I'd understand this type of outburst if we had been bullying im for weeks and weeks. But we haven't been. Nor would that make it okay." And then someone on twitter said "Jack just admitted that they'd been bullying Dream non stop for weeks and he's proud of it!!!!" Jack says he can't believe people's ability to misinterpret.

Tommy saw Tubbo dissecting Dream's stream for 7 hours and knew that was the point it was becoming ridiculous.

Jack blatantly calls out how Dream uses manipulation tactics in how he speaks to the public. Tommy calls it painful for him to watch because it's what Dream had done to him and others in private.

Jack goes back to Dream's stream, talking about their phone call together, about how it was disingenuous and weird to bring up publicly. He says there are things he can't talk about publicly that formed his opinion.

"I just think he's like an impossibly self-indulgent, selfish man, who thinks everyone's on his own time." -Tommy

Jack thought Dream was purposefully being negligent in the way he would speak, and while he still is, he is seeing that a lot of it also comes from Dream not being able to pick up on social cues and norms. Though, he also reiterates that it doesn't excuse his awful behavior.

"I don't get how he can't listen to anyone else." -Tommy

Both of them have talked to Dream multiple times about how he acts and he never listens. Not even just them, they say "We all have really tried", which implies more members of the SMP or other personal friends.

"He doesn't seem to feel very much empathy for the pain he's caused, and if I was in his shoes- I don't know where his guilt is." -Tommy

They talk about his inability to apologize and how they can't understand it. Tommy gets a little heated. Dream has given them empty apologies and goes to do the same things again. They talk about how he doubles down over and over until no one sides with him, that's when he apologizes.

Jack calls Dream dismissive, and how its obvious that he doesn't care.

Tommy implores the audience to not imagine these dramas as Youtubers doing it, but to imagine their friends doing these things. Youtubers are not above others, there's no difference. The only difference is responsibility.

Jack points out how it's odd that they decide to post these things. It shows that they just double down on their awful actions.

Tommy ends by saying he doesn't want to continue this, but if there are things that need to be said then they will be, but on the Patreon.

Jack says he is done as well, that he's done with all his serious points, but he will be making jokes here and there. He won't be joking about rumors, but things that actually happened.

"Anyway, back to writing!" "Guys, let's all get back to coding."

[bigscotman]

Fic Series Idea: Jason and Dick both get de-aged permanently in public at Damian's 13th birthday gala.

They both get de-aged to their 13th birthdays and have their memories from then. Both Zatana and Constantine confirm it's permanent but they also say there's something weird with the spell, it's not a simple de-aging spell but they can't figure out what the difference does.

Exactly a month after they get de-aged they find out. All the memories of the month after their 13th birthdays floods into their mind and the scars and muscle memory appears on/in their bodies.

The 2 Robins think it's cool but are secretly kinda scared because by the time they get to their original ages they'll be completely different people from both who they are now and who they became because sure they'll have their memories and bodies and muscle memory but they'll also have the memories of growing up again.

The rest of the batfam is horrified because this means Jason is going to have to re-experience dying and the pit and everything else and Dick going to have to re-experience all the shit that's happened to him. Being the "completely emotionally competent" people they are they sorta just decide to ignore that and resolve themselves to be better this time round (for Bruce and Alfred) and be good big-little siblings (for the rest).

Damian is also 13 and while it's a little hard to get past the fact that his Akhi and Richard are now the same age as him they become a terrifying trio especially since they can now teach each other a lot easier since they're the same age. Dick teaches them acrobatics and gymnastics and Jason and Damian are having a much easier time picking them up than when older Dick taught them. Jason teaches them how to interact with the people of the alley, victims, etc. and the dirty tricks he'd pull when in a bind as well as general street smarts like places to sleep and how to spot safe and dangerous people etc. which allows Dick and Damian to become a lot closer to the people of Gotham than they were before. Damian teaches them a bunch of stuff from the LoA so Jason and Dick become more effective fighters sooner.

At the beginning of every month Dick and Jason sit down with Alfred for tea and talk about the memories and scars they got the previous night while Alfred reminisces about that time. Sometimes the others join but not often, the most likely to join are Damian or Duke with Steph second most likely.

Obviously they can't go out as Robin so they pick new identities. Jason starts as Flamebird and then changes to Phoenix when he remembers he died. Damian gives Robin back to Dick and changes his name to Shadow.

They also get some new teachers since all of B's training will eventually come back to them. Cass teaches the 3 stealth at Damian's request. Tim and Cass somehow rope in both Lady Shiva and Richard Dragon. Jason finds out about the All-Blades because he accidentally summons them when looking for a knife to cut some bread and his memories of the All-Caste come flooding back and then he begs Bruce to get them magic teachers and Damian and Dick join him, Bruce eventually caves and the 3 become the apprentices of the whole of Justice League Dark.

Also the All-Caste isn't destroyed in this timeline and Jason brings Dick and Damian to it. Essence may or may not literally pass out because of how adorable the 3 are and they get some training there too.

By the time they're all 18 they're 3 of the strongest people on the planet. Dick is their moral compass and has basically become Nightwing but better this time. Jason is both completely different and the same, he's by far the most brutal of the 3 and isn't afraid to kill but if Dick tells him not to kill someone then he won't because Dick is the best out of the 3 of them at telling who could actually change and get help (pedos and rapists are still fair game tho). Damian is as good at stealth as Cass and has an affinity for shadow magic, Jason's penchant for theatrics also rubbed off on him, he also isn't afraid to kill but only does so in the most dire of circumstances. If the 3 show up together you know it's some really big threat but everyone also relaxes majorly.

Damian is the tallest of the 3 at 6ft 5 and has a similar build to Dick but slightly bulkier. Jason comes next at 6ft 4 (yes Damian makes fun of him for it but they both make fun of B for only being 6ft without the bat suit) and has a more similar build to Bruce but slightly stockier with larger muscles. Dick is the shortest at only 5ft 10 and has a slim yet highly muscular build.

Damian is the one that thinks and acts the most like Batman or an assassin in the field mainly using gadgets and stealth. Dick acts much more circus acrobat like by using his magic to create trapezes and whips and ropes and stuff. Jason makes heavy use of magic and is basically what if Red Hood had actual magic rather than just the All-Blades.

[sunsetconcert]

You haven't yet been recognized as the hero, have you? How disappointing. I actually kind of liked you a little. Through our many battles, I got the feeling that you might be a Trainer who truly cares for Pokémon! But I was kidding myself. The idea of Trainers getting to know each other through battles is ridiculous! You have two options. Challenge me to a fight you can't win, or leave this place and watch the birth of a new world where Pokémon are free of people! Zekrom/Reshiram! Come to me!

This is literally two minutes before he does a 180. Until you kick his teeth in and tell him that he's wrong, N is still 100% ready to go forward with the plan to segregate people from Pokemon and damn the consequences. "The longer my journey continued, the more unsure I became. All I kept meeting were Pokémon and people who communicated with one another and helped one another. That was why I needed to confirm my beliefs by battling with you." He says, outright, that he kept seeing things that proved him wrong and then decided that he didn't give a shit. He wanted to confirm his belief that he was in the right and that Trainers are all abusive. He didn't want to actually VERIFY that this was true, just confirm it. Real flat-earther behaviour, tbh.

This also means that the plot kind of falls apart in one version, because he's factually wrong but he can still obtain the dragon of Truth anyway? Weird narrative choice. Anyways onto my next point.

"N isn't in a cage" IS ACCUMULA TOWN IN A CAGE? IS NACRENE? IS NIMBASA? HE IS OUT IN THE WORLD AND IS ABLE TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE OF HIS OWN VOLITION. HE CAN GO FROM ONE SIDE OF THE COUNTRY TO THE OTHER. THIS IS THE LITERAL OPPOSITE OF WHAT A CAGE MEANS.

And as for the "misunderstanding" part, you're just reinforcing my point. He knew he didn't understand Pokemon that liked humans, but he kept talking as if he did anyway. He kept talking big about things he knew he didn't understand and then got pissed off when you told him he was wrong. He admits he was full of shit. He didn't understand Pokemon at all.

Wow, I can't believe some of the old message boards for Pokemon gen 5, especially for the characters. It's full of people saying stuff like: "All the characters are so awful. N is a preachy hypocritical little neckbeard just like everyone else in Team Plasma, the guy just watched Death note once and thinks he is so edgy", like, you're free to not like gen five or the characters, but these comments just seem like they come from people who haven't played the game in ages and are going off incredibly fuzzy memories, or did the whole story of being raised by wild animals and then being taken in and lied to, manipulated by a cult to be groomed into a puppet leader and the inherent pain and complications that come with it just completely go over their heads? As I've heard, N acts a lot like real people who were raised in cults and them got out of it eventually. Not to mention Bianca standing up to her overbearing father or her and Cheren's issues in general, or Hugh's entire reason he is so abrasive despite being a genuinely good person. I just really don't understand what could have been missed here or why anyone would think there's any reason to genuinely hate these characters?

[brynnsasha191]

(Tldr at the end) Okay here goes.

People really misunderstood Callum in episode two, s7 (that's okay, the writers didn't do a great job of conveying what I'm about to say, no hate to them though) Callum did not betray Ezran

I see a lot of people criticizing Callum for prioritizing Rayla instead of Ez and saying Rayllum is toxic because it got in the way of familial relationships. But that's not what Callum's actions were really about, they weren't about "oh rayla is upset so I'm going to burn down all bridges for her" like a lot of people seem to think. His actions had a lot to do with Rayla but they also had a lot to do with the fact that Callum genuinely believed what Ezran was doing wasn't right.

(btw I'm writing this with Callum's opinions in mind, I'm not just projecting mine on Callum. I believe Runaan did something wrong and deserved punishment for it, and I believe both Rayla and Ez were both right and wrong. I am on everyone's side)

In the beginning of the episode, we see Callum trying to reason with Rayla and defend Ezran by telling her to give him a minute to process what recently happened to him. And he says "he [runaan] did kill it's king" but he never actually said he agreed with Ezran, he was just trying to get Rayla to see Ezran's side.

Ezran and Rayla's fight during the council meeting was understandable upsetting for Callum, his two favorite people were fighting. And when he tried to follow Rayla to get her to come back, Ezran commanded him to do otherwise, as the king, Ezran has a right to do that. But that moment probably felt uncomfortable and belittling and frustrating for Callum, it's the same unhealthy push and pull dynamic that I talked about in my 'why Callum shouldn't be high mage' meta. It made Callum disinterested in the council meeting, and while that's not Ezran's fault, it is the same corner that the broyals keep walking themselves into.

Callum goes outside and sees Rayla crying, that is also understandably distressing for him, but he doesn't blame Ezran at all. He apologizes for his choice in that moment, he says he should've gone after her, not "Ezran shouldn't have done that or said that", if Callum was completely choosing Rayla over Ez, he easily could've deflected the blame to him, but he didn't, he apologized for his own actions which to me shows that Callum isn't the type to blame Ezran unnecessarily.

When Callum goes to Ezran and calls him a jerk face (very uncool thing of him to say to Ezran, Ezran didn't deserve that) Rayla and Callum already finished their conversation where Rayla decided to secretly get Runaan out, there wasn't a point to try to convince Ezran to let Runaan out then. He went to Ezran, not to convince him to free Runaan, but to convince Ez he wasn't doing the right thing. As the scene progresses, Callum's voice gets softer and he starts speaking sensibly and reasonably without ad hominem attacks. He acknowledges Ezran's feelings about Katolis being destroyed but also acknowledges that that particular part of Ezran's pain isn't connected to Runaan. And Ezran has no problem sharing his true feelings with Callum, Callum doesn't dismiss them once. He puts his hand on Ezran's shoulder and validates his feelings, also not to mention he apologizes immediately after calling Ez a jerk face. And when Ezran says "he killed our father" Callum doesn't know how to respond because he isn't completely siding with R&R. He knows Ez has a point.

Rayla and Runaan could have been seriously injured during the fight with Soren and the soldiers. Aanya was going to shoot them, and Ezran was going to let her. It's really weird that this fandom seems to think Callum should've sat by and not stood up for them. Callum absolutely shouldn't have condoned Rayla breaking Runaan out without permission, he should've told her to stop and stay put until he had a chance to talk to Ezran's more. But that's not what happened, what happened was a messy game of tug-o-war between two people who love each other that nearly killed people and almost destroyed relationships. Callum didn't choose Rayla, he chose what he thought was right, and that was not Ezran at the time. People get so mad at him for not standing by Ezran's side but he wanted to, but standing by someone's side doesn't mean sitting back and letting them do something that you believe is wrong.

He gave up his role as High Mage because he knew he couldn't continue to play that role after this, for him and Ezran's sake. He can't be his High Mage but he'll always be his brother.

TLDR: Callum actually did handle this situation maturely. The problem didn't lie with Callum or anyone else. This situation was an ugly and messy one that anyone would have a hard time navigating especially a kid who the people closest to him in the entire world were actively hurting each other. He's willing to do anything for Rayla, but this isn't about choosing Rayla, it's about what he thought was right.

[rekino2114]

Okay, so after the wonderful Fami introducing her boyfriend to Yoru request I got to thinking. How about a sequel where after Asa and Yoru get a boyfriend, she decides to introduce her boyfriend to Fami and her boyfriend. I'd also like Fami to talk with Yoru, asking her if she gets what she was saying before about loving her own boyfriend more than anything in the world.

Yoru introducing fami to her boyfriend

This is a part 2 to this post

A/n:since there are two y/ns here, I will write (f)y/n whenever they're talking about fami's boyfriend and I will color their dialog differently, here's every dialog color to make it less confusing

Yoru=red

Asa=blue

Fami=white and pink

Y/n (asa and yoru's boyfriend)=white

(F)y/n (fami's boyfriend)=pink and white

Yoru didn't actually want to introduce you to fami that much at first. It's not that she didn't like her. They were sisters after all. it's more like she thought she was kinda weird, and with her threatening to kill her one of the last times they met, they didn't talk that much.

However, it seemed that you and fami's boyfriend were friends and you told him that yoru was your girlfriend and he told fami, which in turn made her tell yoru that she wanted to meet you. She reluctantly agreed, and that led to the 4 of you (5 if you count asa) walking in a restaurant to get to know each other

"It's nice to meet you, I'm famine but you can call me fami"

"Oh nice to meet you too"

You and the pink haired girl shook hands as she went back to eating her burger. When she finished her first bite, she looked at you again and started talking

"How did you and war met?"

"Oh well, she....appeared when me and asa were kissing and-"

"So you're dating asa too?"

"Yeah, is that a problem"

"No, not at all, I suppose it would be awkward otherwise, I was just curious about how my little sister managed to get a boyfriend"

Yoru scowled and looked at her sister who had resumed eating in the meantime

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your......situation makes it hard to talk to humans, and I didn't think you were the type to fall in love"

"W-what do you mean?"

"You want to kill every person you meet"

"You can't argue with her on that one"

"You're still here?"

"I just wanna make sure y/n isn't uncomfortable"

"No, I mean, why are you here? You have nothing to do with this conversation"

"Y/n is my boyfriend too"

"And I'm making him meet MY sister, you have no family for that anyway"

".........."

Your girlfriends mental conversation was interrupted by you elbowing yoru causing her to look at you angrily

"That was a low blow yoru"

"....what? it's the truth"

"You're not getting any kisses tonight"

"Wha- hey, no fair"

"Then don't be mean to asa"

"Tch, fine then, sorry asa"

"....i-it's fine"

Fami finished eating and continued staring at you. Her cold gaze was slightly unnerving, but her words reassured you

"......You're good for her"

"Eh?"

"War isn't always willing to apologize like that, I'm glad you're there for her"

"Oh thanks"

"You make it sound like I have no manners"

".....last week you turned the barista in a sword because she spelled my name wrong"

"That bitch deserved it, she even refused to apologize"

While you sighed, the famine devil continued to look at you and her sister, even if it was impossible to tell with her emotionless face. She was happy, happy that yoru finally found love with someone

"You have my blessing y/n"

"Eh?"

"What are you saying? You're not my mom"

"Yes, but as the older sister, I have to play that role. Y/n, you are allowed to marry war, and invite me and (f)y/n too, just make sure there's a lot of food"

Hearing this, both you and yoru blushed heavily with your girlfriend immediately starting to yell at her sister

"W-what the hell are you saying fami? We're not getting married!"

"Oh that's a shame, I was looking forward to it"

Yoru's blush grew even more as her voice lowered

"I-i mean not right now, maybe later- ughh what am I even saying, look we just didn't talk about it!"

"OK, keep me updated, me and (f)y/n are thinking about it too"

"......w-we are?......not that I mind"

You all finished your meals and walked outside. You and fami's boyfriend decided to have a talk while the horsemen spoke to each other

".....do you get it now?"

"What?"

"What I said before about loving my boyfriend more than anything, do you get it now?"

"I guess"

"You love y/n right?"

"Yeah"

"......would you kill someone for him?"

"Yeah, in a heartbeat, I already did actually"

"Then you understand what love feels like, isn't it wonderful?"

".......yeah, it's like what I feel watching humans slaughter each other but times 100"

"It's the same for me and food......I'm glad someone was there to make me feel that"

"......me too"

Fami and yoru both looked towards their boyfriends with a look of pure love on their faces, even if they were some of the most feared and powerful devils in existence, they could still feel love all because of them, and they were so happy about it

[mummyscarian]

AITA for accusing my roommate of "cheating" on us?

(a/n: for martyn's wild life aita)

For context, I (29M) am roommates with my best friend (31M), who I'll call G, and a mutual friend of ours (40'sM), who I'll call S. We only recently became roommates, and are still adjusting to living together. S and I get along really well, and I thought G was happy being our roommate too but now I'm not too sure.

So basically, we needed some ingredients for something but we didn't have any, so S and I went out to go get some together while G went out on his own, which I thought was odd, because he could have gone with us.

We ended up getting the ingredients we needed from some friends of ours, and we even ended up getting a cow too, which we also needed! When G got back he didn't tell us where he had gone, but everything still seemed okay to me, until later on, when he, again, said he was going off on his own to go get some supplies. This felt really weird to me, and I asked S if he also thought it was weird, but he didn't at first.

But then G came back a little later, saying he had forgotten something, and I stopped him and asked him to be honest with us about where he was going, and if he was hiding things from us. He was confused, and said he was just going to get supplies for us. S believed him, but I still wasn't sure. We got into a bit of an argument over him leaving on his own, and he was the one who said I was accusing him of "cheating" on him even though I didn't say that specifically, but I do kind of feel like he WAS cheating on us as roommates by leaving so often.

G went off on his own again, and S and I talked for a bit afterwards. Then our friend M came over. M mentioned that he and G had been working together and that he and G had gotten some cows together, which shocked me as G had never mentioned getting any cows at all. S accused M of trying to make G look like a liar, because M is known to try and stir drama sometimes, but M said it was true and to ask some other friends of ours as apparently they had STOLEN the cows from them. We told M to stay here until G got back because we wanted to hear the truth from G.

When G got back, we asked him if had gotten cows. And he immediately said he had! We got upset at M then for trying to make G look bad, but G explained that they had worked together to get the cows. S and I decided to believe him, but M pointed out how quickly I was to accuse both him and G, and G also called me paranoid. We ended up moving on from that and got into a slightly related argument with M which also ended with M calling all three of us paranoid.

Am I really being too paranoid? I feel like I was justified in feeling weird about how G kept leaving S and I. AITA?

update: I ended up talking with G some more, and he told me that he DID tell me he had gotten the cows and hidden them, and I realized I had thought he was talking about MY cow that I had also hidden.

[prettyboypistol]

Hear Me Out || King Candy x Reader PART 6 18+

You decided not to race in the roster race that night, as you cited that you were far too tired to race properly. Instead, you stood in the stands with a sign that read “Go King Candy!” that was white-iced on a graham cracker. It was a nice snack to nibble on after your king dashed off past you. You had grown rather fond of King Candy, if you were honest. He was kind, funny, and always had a way to cheer you up. Genuinely, it was a bit of a crush you had developed. It was weird, you thought, to crush on a man almost triple your age. Aside from that, it was kind of awkward to talk to your king casually now.

King Candy, of course, got first place. He always did. You cheered loudly from the stands, almost uncharacteristically from your dark aesthetic. King Candy waved to the crowds with a regal and proud smile, but then he spotted you and blew you a coy little kiss. The gesture made you freeze up and blush. 

The flirtatious propositions didn’t stop there. It had been after you jokingly did a “hear me out cake” with your friends outside of the game at Tapper’s. It was meant as a joke, really, but you did kind of mean it (just a bit!), but you put an old newspaper clipping of Turbo. You gushed about how you always like egotistical guys. Of course, word got out VERY quickly about your controversial take. 

You thought it’d be a funny joke to tell King Candy that you put Turbo as your final “hear me out”- after you explained what a “hear me out” was, of course- but King Candy didn’t laugh at first, he merely stood there in slight shock. He quickly recollected himself and waved you off with a little “hoo-hoo!”

“Darling, you weren’t even around to know Turbo!” King Candy explained as he put his hands over yours in an “oh honey, you’re so silly” way, but you decided to make the stupid mistake of defending yourself.

“I- I dunno, sire… Hear me out, he’s kinda…”

“Kind of what?” King Candy echoed with an expression of curiosity.

“Y’know, kinda hot!” You giggled shyly. “I know I never met the guy, but from what I heard about him, he’s like, totally my type of guy! Arrogant, Egotistical, I mean, he was a great racer, right? I wanna be handled like his kart!” You joked.

King Candy didn’t know how to feel about that statement. On one hand, you praised him as being irrationally hot, on the other, you called him arrogant and egotistical. He couldn't tell you who he really was, not in the slightest. You were probably told all about his crimes against the arcade. 

“So, what do you… Like about Turbo?” King Candy felt as if he had to ask.

“I heard about the way he used to race- I dunno, and I heard he was a but rude too which uh- well…” You trailed off as you realized what exactly you were doing. You were explaining why you wanted to fuck a criminal to your boss. “Nevermind, I just think he's attractive- just forget it!”

Ever since then, King Candy had been hitting on you in playful ways. What was his plan, anyway?!

It all accumulated in one night after the roster race, when King Candy called you “sugarlump” as he usually did… But something felt off about the way he said it. There was a lingering purr to his voice that certainly wasn't very PG. There was a slight drawl of invitation as he bid you goodnight. Should you have followed? There was to time to question that however, as your hand was already on the door to his room.

You shut your eyes and opened the door with a flinch, ready to hear him tell you to get out.

“Hey there, sugar.” He hummed as he approached you, your eyes still shut in nervousness. King Candy touched your hand and pulled you softly into his room before he released you. You heard the door click shut and the lock snap into place. Oh god, this was intimidating as hell. 

“Open those pretty eyes for me, won't you?” King Candy asked as he started to guide you to the bed again. “What are you scared of, toots? It's only me. Your pal, King Candy!”

“I know, that's why I'm nervous! I've never- uh-” you trailed off, mortified. King Candy let out a kind scoff and pushed you onto the bed until your back was pressed flush against the spongecake mattress and fondant sheets. 

“Just follow my lead, sweetheart.” King Candy assured as you felt him climb on top of you and pressed kisses against your throat.

“Now, who's the best racer?”

“You are…” you whispered as you felt King Candy undo the fastenings of your overcoat. You felt exposed as your body was slowly revealed to your king. Your skin was kissed and groped- the sensations felt foreign in your code as King Candy mouthed over your nipples, then gave each a gentle touch with his hands.

“Sing whose praises?”

“King Candy's!” You gasped as King Candy suddenly grabbed at your crotch. Your jester hat jingled at the sudden movement you made. 

“Good, you're such a wonder jester, sugar. Now, open up for King Candy~” King Candy grinned- well, you didn't know that for sure, as your eyes were still closed. It sounded like he was grinning, if that made any sense.

You felt as your trousers were removed and tossed aside. A warm, wet sensation lapped at your entrance and you couldn't help but jolted away and shut your thighs together. But two surprisingly strong hands pried your nervous protection apart as King Candy continued to tease you with little licks and an open-mouthed and plunging strike of his tongue inside you.

“King Candy! Good- good god!” You breathed out raggedly. 

“That's it, sugar baby, praise your king while he eats you out.”

“What happened to being rated E for everyone?!” You couldn't help but bring up, curse your memory and need to win!

“Oh, didn't you hear? Word around the arcade block is that E means “explicit”. Now, keep those pretty legs open, doll.”

Whoa, King Candy sounded different when he was turned on. The lisp was still there, but there was a darkness to his voice that made you want to rub your thighs together.

King Candy kissed around your thighs with a smile and a content hum.

“Feel good?”

“Y-yeah.” You mumbled. “Where’d you learn how to do this?”

“I’m old enough to know how to please pretty little sugarlumps like you.”

“I’ll make you scream Tur- for me.” King Candy coughed before he focused in-between your legs again. 

King Candy started to finger you alongside his tongue, which made you squirm and whine. You felt his fingers move deeper and deeper still, then pressed right against the spot that made you thrash and silently scream.

“Oh ho-ho! I found it.” King Candy purred as he started to rub that area inside you deeper and with more pressure, that’s where he ran into trouble- when you accidentally kicked King Candy upside the head in your squirming. 

“Ow!”

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry-” You squeak out as you finally open your eyes.

“No no sugar, it’s my fault for riling you up so much on your first time.” King Candy responded as he cradled the side of his head with a strained smile.

After a moment, you two stared at each other. You were naked, King Candy was down to his underwear. You made the mistake of looking down- just a peek! That wouldn’t hurt, right?! And it didn’t hurt, until you were accidentally caught staring. 

“Looking at the royal goods, are you?” King Candy chuckled as he scooched towards you with a waggle of his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes with a huff.

“No, why would I-”

“Ah-ah-ahhh, I ought to turn you over my knee for lying, naughty little minx!” King Candy hummed as he playfully swatted at your ass, which made you whine a tad.

King Candy guided you to lay on your stomach with your ass up, your face gently cradled with your arms and a pillow. 

“Now, let’s get you jingling for all the right reasons!” King Candy laughed as he coated himself with a clear sort of jelly. It was cold when it touched your entrance, but King Candy sighed as he pressed the tip inside you. Pixel by pixel, King Candy sank his shaft deeper inside you. It felt like hours before your ass touched his pelvis. It didn’t hurt per se- just felt weird… and full- super full. 

King Candy sighed as his eyelids fluttered shut in ecstasy. 

“Ohhh gumdrop, you’re gonna drive me wild…” King Candy muttered with a little manic laugh that followed. Slowly, he pulled out a tad, then pushed back inside. You both groaned at the sensation. The motion was repeated, and King Candy hissed at the tight grip you had on him. 

The sensation almost made King Candy glitch out- oh fuck, he had to keep it together! He kept his thrusts slow and gentle as he adjusted to the feeling of someone so wonderful around his dick. He bit his bottom lip with a deep groan. When you started to whine in protest at the speed, King Candy took that as a challenge. He bottomed out inside you, then started to piston in and out of you, which knocked your breath out. 

He grit his teeth as he tried to keep himself together- oh god damn it, you were so tight- so warm around him- it’d been years since he gotten any! He wasn’t gonna last long!

“S-so, you ready for the- ah, for the royal icing, dearie?”

Eugh, that made King Candy cringe internally. You dumbly nodded, mouth open and your moans unabashedly that rang out and echoed throughout the cavernous room. There was no doubt that the noise leaked out through the gingerbread doors.

You didn’t know what you were saying anymore- all you knew is that you felt full yet not full enough. You needed to be railed and ruined until nothing mattered anymore. 

“Nnh- oh, sugar!” King Candy whined as he finally piped your insides full. “Oh-hoo-hooooo, that was turbo-tastic.”

“Are you-” You gasped as you tried to regain your breath. “Are you seriously making fun of my hear me out about Turbo now?”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” King Candy responded, his coding running cold at the slip-up. He added to the charade he put up with a teasing smile.

[fictionadventurer]

*

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[thesummerstorms]

*Arsinoë de Riva has been succinctly explaining that the Crows took her from the Circle/Templars with perhaps a bit more admiration/respect than is called for given that there was an exchange of coin involved for her life and then she was immediately bartered between houses in exchange for a gambling debt*

Davrin (disapproving): So the Crows whisk you away and... what. Immediately start teaching the kidnapped ten year old to stab people?

Arsinoë, unruffled: Twelve year old. I was a late starter. But, no, actually, my mother taught me to stab people first. Didn't have much practice, but the intent was there. Helped with the late start.

Davrin: Wait...

Arsinoë: Apostates, remember? And she'd been one a lot longer than me, obviously. She always told me growing up that a Templar would never hesitate to Smite you, but most of the time they weren't going to expect a mage to go for a knife.

Lucanis: Amateurs.

Arsinoë, with perhaps just a touch of side eye: And good thing, too. I'm just as glad they didn't have your expertise.

Davrin: And your mother told you this theory when you were...?

Arsinoë: Dunno. Templars took me at eight, and I'd definitely been practicing before then, but I don't really remember details by now. Ma was always a pragmatist though.

Harding, who has been silently sitting in the corner with a cup of tea listening to this conversation unspool (silently, to herself): What the fuck.

[the-casbah-way]

i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry

[boomerang109]

empathy is so dumb. like oh that person is having a hard time so now i’m gonna go home and be sad about it? ruin my own night? wow that’s so helpful to them

[aphantimes]

how can knuckles just not know how he became the guardian. like. what is going on there. how can you just have no idea how you started doing the thing your whole life revolves around. what.

what.

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

[enbysiriusblack]

had loustat!wolfstar and danmand!jegulus thoughts.

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.