#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.

[prorevenge]

Bam, you're homeless!

This happened around 2002, roughly, and requires a big hunk of backstory. I warn you, this is long...really really stupid long. I posted the entire story years ago on a now dead social media site and it was 5 parts long, with pictures. I wont go into nearly as much detail here, but I'll still include enough that you get how horrible the situation was for me and why I did what I did.

​

Prologue/Backstory:

I was seeing this woman that was about 10 years older than me for about a year. My brother introduced us, as his wife was High School friends with the woman. She had a son from a previous marriage that was about 9 years old when we started dating. We hit it off pretty well, and started dating. She lived with her parents when we met, and since I had a 2BR apartment I invited her and her son to move in with me about 3 months into our relationship. She didn't have a job, but that was OK with me. I had a job where I could move up if I wanted to fairly easily, so we wouldn't need her to have an income. It would be tight, but doable without too much effort. She was mostly nice, even though she had her moments (like all women) where she could be pretty petty. I didn't mind those moments since they were fairly rare, but a few led up to and then fed what happened... so I'll briefly run through them here in a prologue of sorts.

Shortly after we first got together, she brought me over to her parents house (we'd previously met, since she lived there at the start) in order to introduce me to her only sister who was visiting. Everything was fine, but her sister kept making eyes at me. I didn't think much of it until my GF went to the bathroom, and I went to the kitchen to get a drink refill. The sister followed me in and immediately gets right up behind me. I'm a little uncomfortable, but she's just akward close, not touching me... she quietly says "hey, why don't you give me a call sometime, I'll make it worth your time sexy". I was horrified. I had just met her, and I was dating her sister. I told her no thanks, got my drink and hurried back to the livingroom. When my GF came out, I made eye contact and made it clear I was ready to go. She ignored me for almost an hour and we finally leave. The GF gets pissed as soon as we hit the car (pickup truck actually), thinking I was just being a dick. I shut that shit down by explaining what happened. She gets mad and tells me a story about how her sister slept with her ex-husband, and how she was a snake and had stolen boyfriends before too. I tell her I don't ever want to be left alone with her again. I then explain that I am NOT a cheater, I wont ever be that guy, and I don't want to be put in a sketchy situation to be misinterpreted either. She agrees, and acts like everything's cool and I had said the right things.

There were a couple more incidents that, at the time, just seemed like standard jealous girlfriend stuff. One stands out, she had acquired a handful of time-sheets from my work and accused me of taking days off and calling in sick without her knowing it, and accused me of using the days to see other women. I was confused, since I have a good work ethic and very rarely take vacations and virtually never call in sick. Turned out she had gotten my brothers time-sheets (he worked at the same place) and my brother had zero work ethic. He called in all the time to do drugs with his wife. I didn't even ask how she got hold of the time-sheets, I just laughed it off and thought she did too.

About 9 or 10 months into the relationship, I popped 'the question', she said yes. We went ring shopping. Like I said, she didn't work and though I had a job, it wasn't the greatest paying job out there. I made about 30K a year, so things were tight-ish, but getting a nice ring was workable as long as neither of us got too crazy. I figured on a combined budget of about $1000USD to $1500 combined.

She decided she just HAD to have this ring that was right at $5000. I told her there was no way I could afford that, and my credit was so crappy at the time they couldn't finance it. I joked that if I was going to spend $5K that it would be on a wedding car, not a ring since she was borrowing her dads car to get around. I told her to pick out something more in line with our budget, and we'd get better rings in the future for an anniversary. She said OK, but I could tell she was pissed. I found a ring I really liked (about $150) but she couldn't find anything and kept looking at the expensive ring giving me puppy dog eyes. The clerk wasnt helping, he kept handing her the ring and saying how nice it looked on her. I was mad, and just decided it was better we leave and come back another day. Give her time to think about it.

​

A few days later, we're at her parents house and her dad pulls me off to the side. Now, her dads a great guy. I really liked him a lot, so I liked being at his house and he seemed to really like me too. He says to me "My daugher says she found a ring she likes, but you cant afford it..." I get a little irritated that she would tell her father that, and he sees it "Don't get upset, I'm not going to try to convince you to buy it. I want to buy it....but you cant tell her I did." I tell him thanks, but no, I cant do that...he's already paying for the wedding that we haven't even planned yet. I remind him that he has no idea how much he'll end up forking over for that yet. He insists. He wants his baby to be happy, and he wants her to be happy with me. After some more argument, I agree....but only if he allows me to pay him back, which he does. About a week later, me and him go get the ring she wanted. I made sure a different clerk from the first time got the sale, fuck that guy. I gave it to her that night, and cue the fireworks and the bedside lamp cut-scene. We were back on track.

​

The day of the wedding arrives, we'd been together almost a year at this point, and it's great. We have a noon wedding at this old wooden church from the early 1800's, and the reception in a nearby field with an old tobacco barn. It was very picturesque but brief, since we'd arranged to go to Orlando for our honeymoon, her choice. Since I could get a good deal by going through a vacation planner from work, provided I went to this timeshare thing, it worked out. We got 1 night in a nice hotel, had to go to a hard-sell timeshare thing the next day for about 2hrs, and got free tickets to Epcot for the following day for about $200. Normally the Epcot tickets alone would have been nearly that. We would then have to switch hotels and had planned to stay for an additional week to see the rest of the city.

​

End Epilogue (told you it was going to be long) and begin the REAL story:

​

The reception ends, and we head straight to the courthouse to file the wedding certificate since it was 4:30pm and they closed at 5pm. I park and run inside, she stays in the truck since she's still in her wedding dress. They had closed early. Fuck. I knew we had 10 days after the wedding to file the certificate, and we were only planning to be gone about 5 to 7 days max. I also knew that if she found out that she'd insist we wait until the next day to leave. That would ruin the first night in the good hotel, and I had no idea if it would stop us from doing the timeshare thing potentially ruining Epcot too. I made an executive decision on the way back to the car to just...not tell her. I could file when we got back, no problem. She would never need to know.

​

We went back to my apartment, and changed into travel clothes and put the suitcases into the back of the truck and left. When she wasn't paying attention, I slipped the wedding certificate into her purse inside a little zipper section I knew she rarely used. I figured it would be safer there than anywhere else. In hindsight I should have left it in the apartment.

​

I should note that at the time I drove a Barney purple Ford Ranger splash. It stood out. My brother had written the standard "just Married" stuff ALL OVER IT in bright red paint. It really stood out. We took off, and after many people honking and we waved at everyone that did, we arrived in Orlando about 3hrs later. We check in to the Embassy Suites, take a very fun joint shower and after several 'fun-time' hours go to sleep. The next day we do the timeshare seminar thing, get the Epcot tickets and check out. I find a cheaper, but still nice, motel close to Epcot and check in. It's a Masters Inn with exterior room doors, not interior with a hallway (image search 'Masters Inn' and you'll get what I mean). We put our stuff in the room, and immediately leave.

​

I grew up on the Eastside of Orlando, so I take her on the grand tour of all my childhood memories. My elementary school, the old neighborhood, the local hangouts telling her my early life story at every turn. I also take her to meet my paternal Grandfather who lived in Winter Park, just outside Orlando at the time. We go to dinner and head back to the motel around 8pm with plans to go to Epcot early so we can spent the entire day. We were going to take the shuttle, but since we both smoked we decided it would be better to take my truck instead.

​

The day goes great with two exceptions. I wore some pants that were a bit loose on me, and couldn't find a belt for sale at the park. I spent the whole day hitching up my britches, which made me mildly irritable. Second, she was being overly affectionate for a family theme park, and I knew Disney didn't tolerate that level of PDA and would throw you out if it got out of hand. I had to keep telling her no when she wanted to do more than a quick kiss. She was sticking her tongue down my throat, and getting handsy...then she got mad when I told her to knock it off.

​

By the time we left Epcot, we were both a little irritable but still in a generally OK mood. We stopped at a 7-11 on the way home. They're selling these pre-made whiskey/coke things, and I feel that they'll help the mood so I buy 4 of them. We pull into the Masters Inn, go up to our room, and...the key doesn't work. I go to the lobby and tell the clerk, he pulls up the room and says no ones checked into that room. After a brief discussion, we realize I'm an idiot and went to the wrong Masters Inn...there's a couple of them in town, and since every street in Orlando looks basically the same, I went the wrong way and ended up at the wrong one.

​

She thinks this is evidence that I'm stupid and keeps harping on me about it the whole drive to our actual motel. We go inside, take a shower and decide to drink. The drinks are warm, so I say I'm going to go get ice and leave the room wearing pink sweatpants (hers) and a tanktop. I did it to make her laugh, which she did, and figured the ice machine would be close so no worries. I was wrong. I walked around the entire motel looking for a machine. The only one they had was in the lobby, so I fill two buckets (not wanting to go back) and head back to the room.

​

Shes. Not. There. The clothes she wore at the park, which were on the floor when I left, are gone. I figure she ran down to the truck to get something, so I pour drinks. She isn't back, so I look outside and don't see her by the truck. Neither of us had cellphones at the time, so I just lay down and started flipping channels waiting.

​

She comes back maybe 5 minutes later and her first words are a loud "FUCK YOU". I just stare at her, and she starts yelling about how I didn't go get ice, I was calling all my bitches back home and that she knew I was cheating on her. I point at the ice buckets and simply say "Ice"...she goes ballistic saying "You were gone for fucking 20 minutes, I knew you were cheating, my sister told me not to trust you!". I get mad because her sister is the one who slept with her last husband, I remind her of that, and how she also hit on me and that I had nothing to do with her because of it. She launches into a tirade about how her sister followed me around and saw me with several convenience store clerks near my job, and that I was busted. She then states "Thats ok, I own you now...you wont be driving yourself to work ever again! I will! If you go anywhere from now on it will be with me or my son, and you can forget about sex for at least a month!"

​

I'm beside myself...I might have actually had an out of body experience. I very calmly say "are you done?" She goes on for another couple minutes in the same vein, and finally says "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

​

I work in Corrections, so I'm no stranger to tense verbal situations that could lead to violence, so I don't yell at all. I say, very calmly, "I will drive myself wherever the fuck I please, with or without whoever the fuck I want. I don't cheat, I have never cheated, I WILL never cheat. If you trust your lying sack of shit sister more than the man you married, then maybe you should have married her instead." She screams "MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE!" so I reply with "so are you saying we're done? I refuse to live like you just described. If that's the only option, then you're saying we're done. Are we done?"

​

She yells "WE'RE DONE WHEN I SAY WE'RE DONE....YOU'RE DONE, BUT WE AREN'T BY A LONGSHOT...I...OWN....YOU!!"

​

I reply with "so we're done. Get some sleep, we're going back home in the morning". Neither of us get much sleep, but we dont talk to each other at all. The next morning, around 9am, I ask her "Have you calmed down, or are we still through" she answers with a very angry "Fuck you asshole"...so I get up, and start loading our stuff. I tell her "get in the truck or get left" and she wisely gets in.

​

The Revenge Begins

​

At this point I'm not 100% sure we're officially over yet, I just know we aren't staying in Orlando just to fight. On the drive out of Orlando, people are honking at us because of the 'just married' stuff, and she's yelling at them, giving them the finger. My windows are very darkly tinted, so I doubt anyone really saw her, but I still tell her to knock that shit off. She rolls the window down, and before I can say anything she's taken off her wedding ring and thrown it out the window.

​

I start laughing. She gets says "what're you laughing at, I hope you enjoy paying for that!". I drop the bombshell: "your dad bought that ring, he did it so you'd be happy and made me swear not to tell you...enjoy telling him you threw his 5K away bitch" at this point I know we're over for good. She starts yelling for me to pull over on the East-West Expressway...yeah, right! It's a 4-lane toll road, very busy, everyone going 70mph+, with a very narrow shoulder. I tell her she's fucked, that ring is gone. She's furiously yelling, but I cant stop smiling because I feel like I've just avoided a lifetime of misery and somehow everything happened like it did just to save me...but it gets better/worse.

​

We get back to town and when I slow down to turn down the road to my apartment, she screams "Take me home you fucker, take me home now!", so I head to her parents house about 4 miles away. As soon as I stop she says "bye motherfucker", jumps out, slams the shit out of the door, and runs inside. I guess she thought I'd just go home. I did not. I got out and walked up to the door. Her dad opened it before I could knock and steps out. He says "Rodnaxela, what happened, whats going on???" So I explain it to him, and include that she threw the ring out the window. He is instantly mad. I think he's mad at both of us, but he's not. He tells me to come in and I do. Mom is sitting there (she's wheelchair bound, has a British accent and is completely awesome), and she looks like she wants to cry....which makes me want to cry. My GF comes out of the kitchen, sees me, and starts swearing a blue streak as she grabs her purse and her dads car keys. She bolts out the door and takes off to god knows where. I stay there for about an hour explaining everything that went down.

​

They drop a bombshell. They tell me that she has been married 3 previous times, and ruined all of them with her anger and jealousy. They are sorry for not telling me, but they really liked me and wanted me in their family. They hoped that I would be the one to settle her down since it seemed like we never fought and I was really good at de-escalating. I tell them I understand, and apologize for the whole situation and leave.

​

It's on the way home that I remember the wedding certificate and have an "oh fuck" moment. I initially have no idea what to do, or how to get it from her without her knowing since we now hate each other. I go home and start putting all her shit into garbage bags. I haven't mentioned her son much because even though his mother and I lived together, he spend 99% of the time at her parents house. He had the spare room set up for when he stayed there, but he rarely did. I packed what little he had more carefully than I had hers, using an actual box.

​

While I was packing, she showed up with my brother. Turns out she was over there talking shit. She was high school friends with his wife, so it didn't strike me as odd when I thought about it. It also didn't strike me odd that my brother was acting like a dick because he likely believed her version of the story and his wife being friends with her drove it home. They loaded up her stuff, stole a moderate amount of my stuff (including some of the wedding gifts/checks I was going to return, didn't notice that for a week) and left. My dear bother forged my signature on the checks and cashed them the next day, which I didn't find out for awhile. She didn't have her purse with her, so there was no opportunity to retrieve the certificate.

​

After she left, I called her dad and asked if the purse in question was there. She had several. He looked and couldn't find it, he asked why but I didn't tell him. I asked him to call me when she got home, no matter how late it was. I had formulated a plan that I wasn't sure would work, but had to try.

​

He called around 11pm and said she had just come in, he was whispering so she didn't know he was calling me. Perfect. I drove over and knocked on the door. She answered. "what the fuck do you want?" she says. I earned the academy award by putting on a sad face and saying "baby, please, this has gone far enough. I love you. I'll do whatever you want, just don't leave me...please...lets go get something to eat and talk...I'll do anything you want" she looks at me for a minute, gets this cruel look and says give me a minute. I stand there trying to keep looking sad in case she peeks out the window, and after a couple minutes she steps back outside..With. The. Purse!!!

​

Without warning, as she steps down the stairs, I snatch the purse from her and run into the yard. I get the certificate out and start waving it around. She has no clue whats going on and just stands there. I yell "I got the wedding certificate bitch, they were closed, I never filed it you cunt!!!" as she starts to move towards me, I throw her purse at her and start ripping up the certificate. I throw half of the pieces in her face and jump in my truck and haul ass away. Best moment of my life.

​

So far it's just petty revenge bordering on pro. I was gotten as good as I gave, and maybe I got the worse end of it since she got the wedding money. This is where it goes into pro level, maybe even nuclear...possibly even supernova levels, even though I was only partially the reason her life ended up being ruined.

​

I get back home feeling very happy with myself, and start watching TV. I even still have about a week and a half left on my vacation. Fuck Yeah! Then my phone rings, it's my brother. He starts yelling at me that I'm an asshole and that I'll pay for doing what I did and he'll make sure of it. I hang up on him, and turn off my ringer. I start thinking about what he said and realize that he may have planted something while he was here. I know he's into pills and smokes dope, so I wouldn't put it past him. I immediately start searching my house. I empty every closet, every cupboard, strip the beds, vacuum and basically spend the next 2 days cleaning that place better than it's ever been cleaned. I keep running across these tiny ziploc baggies in weird places. Under the bathroom sink, under the couch, behind books on a shelf....and I have no idea why. The bags are big enough to put a bottlecap in at most and look dusty inside. Then it hits me when I find some 2 inch (5cm) straws under the bed. Cocaine. Shit.

​

I go BACK through the whole place and find a couple more baggies and a few more straws. At this point I have no idea my brother is into coke, and the amount of baggies with the apparent age of some of them makes me think they're all my exes. I'm pissed, so I call her dad. I tell him what I've been finding and he gets quiet. He says "Rodnaxela, I'm so sorry, I thought she was done with that, I should have warned you...I'm so sorry" I'm floored as he explains that she's had coke issues off and on for years. She had said she quit when her parents threatened to fight for custody of her kid and throw her out if she didn't. This was a few months before we started dating. I inform him that I can get some drug tests from work fairly easily if he wants, he says he may want them and that he'll call me back.

​

The next day I get a call from her dad. He had just confronted her and told her that if she refused to pee in a cup, with her mother watching, whenever they wanted her to she would be thrown out on the street. She refused and they told her she had 5 days to either get out or reconsider. I told him to let me know if she reconsidered, and I'd get him the tests. He never called me back, and we never spoke again. Due to some things my brother stirred up at work, I wasnt speaking to him anymore either, so I didnt find out what all happened for a while.

​

About 6 months later I found out through a mutual friend that they had thrown her out, and when she didn't contact them or her son for about 2 months they filed for custody based on abandonment (not sure all of the specifics). Last I heard, they had raised him to be a good man and his mother was last seen living under a highway overpass, but that was several years ago. She's either dead now or maybe under another overpass in another city...at least that's how I prefer to picture her.

​

There is a whole 'rest of the story' that involves my brother trying to ruin my life because of this situation. Turns out he and my ex were doing coke together, but all the connections were hers...when I ended things, she cut him out. He went to work the week before I came back and spread some pretty fucked up lies about me and how the breakup happened. I was new to the institution at the time and was scheduled to start a new shift on my return, so it was perfect timing on his part....but that's a whole different story that I might write at some point, since I got revenge on several people over the course of things.

​

If enough people say this rises to the level of nuclear or supernova, I'll crosspost.

​

TL;DR I marry some bitch, she thinks that means she can turn me into her slave, turns out we weren't really married and she ends up losing her kid and living under a bridge like a cunty troll.

(source) story by (/u/Rodnaxela)

[ihatecispeople]

dream journal its long and doesnt make sense. no warnings except im pathetically single even in my own dreams

i dreamt i was playing harry potter in a dnd larp, but it was in front of a real audience, and we had been the first ones to ever gotten through the entire course, only we got through it by cheating because we were in a skyrim game doing this all? but also we were real? anyways we got to the end of the obstacle/magic course and we had this parade where it was revealed i would be playing harry potter in the upcoming theatre production, and my brother would play ron, and a girl from my seminars in first year would play hermione. to win, we had to get past a spectre which turned everyone it looked at into one as well. all other groups that had tried before us succumbed here (in real life as well, it wasn’t play) but what me and my group did was to use hermiones vampireness to bite the spectre as it oozed its radiation goo all over here to counteract it, and as she was busy turning the spectre into a vampie, we sneaked past by clipping through the wall. we were told afterwards we were supposed to go back to a place like hours earlier where we had seen a boat leave with some of the prisoners we were looking for were on, and we were supposed to travel with it to another island and release the prisoners, and one of them would help us find a back door entrance to the ice queens main hall where she was sitting waiting for us. in the dream i kept thinking How the FUCK were we supposed to come up with that? so nope we just opened the cheat menu and got through it by exploiting bethesda bugs (when we used the bugs we actually ended up fast travelling to the wrong place, so at one point we had to run past the spectre in reverse, which didn’t activate it luckily, and we had to run up and down stairs in this weirdly straight fortress (like think the bridge of windhelm but the entire fortress is just the shape of it) and glitch through a closed gate to get to our glowing quest mark on the floor)

afterwards in the parade i was talking with one of the soldiers/guards bringing us to the restaurant where we would eat, and i was treated like a legit king for some reason, or like an a list celebrity for being the future harry potter and winning the game, which was weird only because i tried flirting with the soldier and he was like “sir yes SIR” and if you’ve followed me for a while you know how i feel about being called honourifics+ the entire thing about him not wanting to fuck me :( on the way to the restaurant, some delay happened, and it was revealed that the seal next to me (legit just a normal seal) was actually my pokemon and he kept being on my side and i kept scratching him as we slowly walked. the people behind me mentioned how hard it must be to poop if you’re doing a show, and i chipped in that i knew a girl who taught herself to poop in 90 seconds so she could go poop during act breaks. everyone was impressed both by me knowing her and also by the speed she was pooping. we ended up standing in an elevator, and my brother/ron/now-NOT-my-brother talked about how he kinda liked the herminoe actress but he wasnt sure if he was gonna tell her. the manager/butler was like “its smart if you do it now, it can be publicity for the play, but make sure youre really serious” but ron-now-robert-pattinson was like well im NOT sure so i don’t know if we should do it!! i remember the last time this happened to me during a movie and it ended up horribly. but i was busy petting my seal who by now was fast asleep bc i pet him behind his fin which he really really liked and the butler was like “at least nate won’t have to worry about dating scandals” in a tired mr carson voice and i wasnt even offended because i knew it was true which is even more sad

then we got to the restaurant and they were serving this walk-around buffet of korean barbeque, but everyone was forced to share their chopsticks, like if you took some of the sauce the chopsticks had to stay there, because the place was inauthentic. i left my seal to go eat at another pokemon-specific table with all his friends and then i woke up 

[edapropertyreviews-blog]

Eda Property Reviews & Ratings

I had been looking at getting a property for YEARS but I often got cold feet until I was recommended to EDA. They took ther time with me and explained the property market and investments in a very non biased way, Educating me enough to build the confidence and understanding that I needed to peruse my goals. I feel it is a lifestyle for them not just a job! I consider myself to be a good  judge of character and with EDA I have built a  large amount of trust that I wasn't able to build with professionals in the past. I rarely do reviews but I feel EDA deserve this so I highly recommend EDA! ~ Chris Soleman ~ I was referred by a friend to attend a seminar Eda was holding on property investments. As a complete novice in this area I was looking for something that I could start to get more confidence in approaching property investment for me. The seminar was non threatening for a beginner and no fancy lingo was used! I really liked how the group shared their past experiences and this helped equip me with some new found ideas to keep me on this journey. I would highly recommend Eda seminars for beginners! ~ Lauren Solomon ~ About 6 moths ago a friend has invited me to Eda’s Property presentation, being sceptical about it at first, the presentation ended up being informative and inspiring. Since that time, my planning and budgeting have come long way ahead, and soon I look forward to reaching my investment goal number one. It would not be possible without Anissa and Dave, their continuous support and advice. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, and making me and my family feel capable. ~ Yelena Kot ~ We had a fantastic experience dealing with EDA Property. My wife and I were looking for our first investment not knowing where to start. We were  referred to EDA from our financial adviser and from our first meeting with Anissa and David we new we were in good hands, they gave us a lot of confidence we were making the right decision in regards to location and price as it was backed with so much market knowledge. I would highly recommend their services!!! ~ Ben Kelly ~ Before I met Anissa, I found the property market quite confusing. I was getting mixed messages around where I should buy, what I should buy and how much I could afford as my first investment property. I met Anissa almost four years ago and it was a such an enlightening experience learning about the property market and how I can enter the "investment world". She broke down the investment process in a way that I understood and helped me find a property that was right for me and my financial goals. What I love most about working with Eda is how friendly, real and down to earth they are. I've approached other advisories before and always felt intimidated and pressured by the investment advisors there. Anissa made the whole process so easy for me and gave me a sense of comfort. She took the time to understand my circumstances, what I really want for my future and helped build a strategy to get me there. I highly recommend Anissa and Eda to anyone who doesn't regard themselves as an expert and would like for someone to walk with them throughout the journey or for those who do know all about the market but prefer to have trustworthy professionals manage the process on their behalf. ~ Catherine Nguyen ~ Extremely friendly and knowledgeable, we highly recommend taking the effort to speaking with this team of experts.  We are so excited for our first investment, with out there help we wouldn't have done it.  Thank you. ~ TIGER ROAR ~ I have been looking at purchasing property in Australia since trying to get my visa. Many companies have been very abrupt and unhelpful. Eda Property were so nice and helpful. They came and saw me, they didn{t mind that I wasnt ready now and they have put me on a special plan to help me save money for my education and future in Australia. Thank you for your time and you kind and gentle approach. ~ Daniella ~ I was looking for property agent for some time.The one i came across didn't really care about what our needs are. Then i came across Anissa who did try the best for our needs. She recommended a house and land package.We bought it but later we decided that's not what we wanted. Without any hesitation Anissa was able to sell this off the plan , within few weeks to another seller with PROFIT!!. Yeah. This proves her property research is spot on, and not mainly based on how much commission you get.Many thanks and best wishes for Anissa and her company. ~ Har Rowny ~ I remember purchasing my new home in Australia back in 2011 through Anissa from Eda’s property. It went perfectly good. My experience was very positive and have remained in touch ever since. Now, recently, Anissa has helped me sell my home with ease and no stress. I signed the company contract and she took care of everything else. I thank for her efforts and look forward to more business with her in the future. ~ Kaltrina Ferizi ~ Eda property staff are amazing! My close friend recommended Eda Property and now I know why. I wanted to sale my elderly mother’s house which was not in use for many years. Anissa responded to our questions on every step and informed us about the customers who wanted to view the house. My husband was really happy with the smooth sale and transition, we know a few people who wanted to sell their old homes. I will surely recommend Amy to them, thank you. ~ Khushwant Singh ~

[jolie-auletta]

Lose Yourself, To Find Yourself.

So, I had the honour of being part of an international women’s day seminar yesterday. Hosted by the beautiful Gaia Rose, at her annual awakened woman gathering.

Part of a 7 woman strong team, I made my first public speech.

Stood in front of 50 women I didn’t know, I spoke about something that had impacted my life. How I fully and completely lost myself, but found my true self by doing so.

So here goes;

When I first found out I was going to be speaking today, I was an anxiety ridden mess, I was almost automatically filled with all kinds of insecurities. What if my story isnt as exciting as everybody elses. What if people judge me. What if I dont even inspire any one?

And as normal as that thought process is for someone who has never spoken in public before, it isnt actually very logical.

While I was writing this speech I sent it over to my friend to read over and I told her I felt somewhat guilty for mentioning someone from my past.

I am literally about to say things to a room of strangers that I've never even said a loud before!

But that's when it hit me, I want to be part of teaching our daughters and the next generation of women to not be afraid of simply speaking the truth!

I was always an intelligent kid. I taught myself how to speak other languages, play musical instruments, top of the class.. so I should have been a grade A student, gone to uni and I could have been living 'the dream' right now.

I know that the dream is just perspective. The dream is what you make it. But what I’m trying to say, is I could have had a smooth and easy life, if things had been different.

I don't dwell on that though, devine alignment is something I speak of often. All that is meant to be, will be.

My secondary school days were awful. I started later than I should have, so perhaps that had something to do with it? I don't know. But I felt like I was just always having to try harder than normal, just to make friends. Constantly seeking approval from my peers, constantly trying to be ‘one of them’.

What I've realised it comes down to, is I've just never had good social skills. Which no body believes when I tell them because I come across so confident and eccentric!

But honestly I'm what I like to call a social chameleon. I can blend in with any group, but it's all down to analysis of behaviours and mimicking. In a sense it's just acting.

And that's what school was like for me, I shuffled between groups, making friends then falling out with them over things I just didn't understand at the time

It's like I just didn't know how to integrate with people , or be myself.

So along with feeling like I has no real friends.. I was actually bullied too. The entire time.

I remember having to leave school early just to avoid confrontation. The worst part is, I didn't tell a soul I until I was 25? So a whole 10 years went by without even telling my own mum that I was bullied!

That's something I really regret now. Because I believe it all stems from there and if I had reached out to someone, it could have all been different.

Anyway, the last year of school rolled round and I'm obviously so happy to leave!

But then this fear kicked in. What if I get bullied again!?

So I had an ingenius plan. (in hindsight this was not an ingenius plan at all)

I firstly completely went off radar. I chose a college in a new area, where no one would know me and heres the ingenius part. I made a new personality. Who is the most unbullyable person, I thought? All my previous bullies where quite 'rude girl' personas, so thats when i pieced everything together and decided who I’d be.

And it worked. No one picked on me and I was actually popular.

The mask was working, but that’s all it was, a mask.

I was still constantly seeking approval from people, always trying to be what I thought other people thought was cool, not what I actually thought was cool.

About 8 years ago, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and BPD. I was on medication but I took myself off of them when I fell pregnant. I did see a psychiatrist for a number of years, but I'm due to have another evaluation because I tick a lot of the boxes for autism!

This was literally a lightbulb moment! When I found out I could be on the spectrum- everything in my life made sense. And it turns out its really common for women with autism to go under the radar, or be diagnosed with depression, anxiety or bipolar/bpd like I was, and that's it, autism isn't even considered.

I am quite obviously high functioning, but every day scenarios like dealing with my emotions, sensory predicaments and simple socialising are a daily battle for me.

I have done A LOT of self healing and I have made a lot of progress, but I have come to the conclusion that whether I'm one, none, or all of the above , I just don't fit in a box and that's okay!!

I found my release in music, it was a coping mechanism, a world to get lost in.

But this leads me onto the second part of my story. During my music years, I met someone who would change my life.

A narccissist.

As i said before i do believe everything happens in devine order and its all lead me to where I am today. And I don't even hold a grudge towards this person. What's done is done.

And we were actually friends for a long while before getting together, we were best friends in fact, I can't even fault the friendship.

But the relationship was TOXIC!

The mental abuse was off the scale. And he also introduced me to cocaine. Now, in the beginning, it was all fun and games. Parties, recreational and I had no responsibilities in life so I thought why the hell not.

But it became more than that. He got me involved in not only taking it, but selling it too.

The entire relationship became based on that.

And ultimately it was detrimental to my soul.

I didnt even recognise myself. My family didn’t recognise me. It was like I had all these layers of personality I had invented to hide behind, but I couldn’t even remember who I was underneath it all!

I became more and more involved in this crazy lifestyle, so much so I ended up in prison because of it.

Honestly I look back and just think, how could I be so STUPID. It took me so long to admit that I was in a controlling and abusive relationship.

This guy had a hold on me. The kind of hold only a narccissist can have.

This wasnt some teenage crush where i 'loved' him so much and I'd do anything for him. I was a crushed soul, bowing down to a dictator.

I did what he wanted, when he wanted. I didn’t even exist. It was all about him.

My mental state was in pieces.

Im honestly so embarrased to tell people Ive been to jail. I mean even saying the word jail. It makes me cringe. I rarely tell people. There are family members that don’t even know!

But that prison freed me. From the jail that was my own body.

Its almost heartbreaking to think of myself all alone in a cell, no friends or family , but I had time to be on my own. With ME! The actual me, not the me I had been playing the part of for the last god knows how many years.

I honestly remember the day the penny dropped, it was when I put my nose ring back in. It sounds so crazy, but when I put it back in, all the pieces of me started to sort of fall into place too. I wore the clothes I wanted. I wore my hair how I wanted and I was starting to love being me again.

The mask was off! I existed again! And that was a beautiful feeling!

I can’t believe I’d kept up this charade for so many years! I should have been an actress, seriously 😂

So fast forward to today, I have a daughter, My Isabella Amethyst. I honestly love her more than I ever thought was even possible and she has played a major role in me becoming the person I am today, because she deserves me at my best and no less.

Another point to make is… As some one who was too foreign for the white folk; yet too white to be black… my whole life I had never fit in to a ‘group’.

I started researching my ancestral heritage and had a deep spiritual connection with the Italian and Spanish parts of my DNA. I even discovered I had Amerindian and oceanic DNA. Which was amazing and even more soul grabbing for me, it gave me a sense of belonging.

A lot of people say wow jode, you've changed so much!

But i am now, who I actually was before I was pressured in to believing I wasn't good enough as myself! Before I invented a new me, just to fit in with everyone else!

So along with becoming a parent, Ive managed to start my own holistic business too!

I do everything I love now, everything that makes my soul happy. I say yes to my intuition and say no to anything that doesn't serve me. We as women have to learn put ourselves first! We have to learn to trust ourselves, love ourselves and actually learn to be a bit selfish!

Life has given me some lemons, as they say. My world was incredibly sour at times and I have found my self in the darkest of corners, alone. But as clische as it is, after the darkness comes light.

I can wholeheartedly say that although I may not be 'living the dream' I could have been, if I had chosen all the 'right' paths in life, I am infact HAPPY. My soul is content and I am ME.

No matter what any of us have been through in life, we not only grow through it, we can flurish beyond it. These awful things happen to us, but they do not define us.

Sometimes we just have to lose ourselves, to find ourselves.

[thattaekwondoblog]

My Martial Arts Story (TKD)

2020.04.26

today i miss my dojang extra... i woke up from a dream where i was supposed to spar but didnt have my dobok?? and one of my instructors handed me a.. dobok skirt?? and i was like? and he was like yeah u right this isnt gonna work sdbsmdfjsdd i dont really ever have tkd dreams (i think bc i usually am always doing tkd) but since i stopped for a bit the dreams are coming out. it made me miss sparring so much :( so below i wanted to talk about my tkd story in more detail. Enjoy!

i've actually always been a martial arts nerd, but moved around/focused on studying too much to commit to one until recently. I was talking to my mom the other day and neither of us can really remember what got me into it. I just remember wanting to be able to defend myself and be/feel strong from a very young age, and i knew martial arts was a way to do that. As a girl I also received a lot of messages that my gender was ‘weak’ and needed ‘protection’, which i really didnt like (it made me hate being a girl for some time). This is why i wanted to try martial arts. I discovered taekwondo when I was around 10 years old at a small dojang in my hometown. I loved the school & the master, who I remember always had a bamboo stick he would play around with when the kids started being rowdy (he never hit anyone, it was just his way to say ‘dont fck with me’ haha). but had to stop going after yellow belt because i was the oldest out of all the kids and i tried to go to adult classes for a while but i remember not liking it because it was ‘too slow’ for me and my mom couldnt drive me to late night classes. I was swimming a lot at the time too (fun fact i almost competed in synchronized swimming as a kid but had to stop due to illness (am totally fine now and it wasnt bad dont worry)). 

I didn’t do any martial arts in middle school, and only had brief encounters when i started high school. I dabbled in kick boxing (which i still love) through an intense week long training while i was on holiday with family, and then did a bit of karate, for which sadly i had not such a great experience with the instructor which made me distance myself from the sport. The instructor brought up a heavy personal life event during class and i broke down (what did she expect i was like 15 and that event was really hard). When my mom picked me up, she shook her head to her and said ‘girls...’ in a very demeaning way, as if me crying because she re-awoke trauma was a result of ‘feminine weakness.’ i have not forgiven that person for that comment yet. she shouldn’t be a teacher if she treats students like that in my opinion. High school was very competitive and intense so i focused on studying and didnt really do sports then.

In college I really want to do more martial arts, but the lack of proper clubs or instructors made it difficult. I then went to study abroad in seoul and thought to myself if i dont try tkd again in the literal birthplace of the sport what am i doing with my life. i had good experiences with classes at uni; the two masters i had had very different personalities (one was very outspoken and funny while the other.. you could FEEL the power of tkd when he touched your arm slightly to place it correctly sdhfskdj he was very nice though). I had to stop because i was focusing on my academic projects though. 

i then graduated and moved to the city, where finally there were plenty of martial arts opportunities! the first thing i did after moving to the city, even before moving into my apartment, was to visit my current dojang. i audited a class and in my head was like ’oh my god i MUST join them right now give me a dobok let’s GO’. I signed up for classes that day. The dojang master (my dad. my father, the love of my life (in the most platonic way)) was a seoulite (we bonded over that) and realized I hadn’t started my job yet so he gave me a discount, which i felt incredibly surprised by and grateful for. I started lessons the next day. at my dojang beginners usually get 3 private classes at the beginning to get the basics down before joining the group. after my first, the instructor said that i was probably ready to go with the group if i felt comfortable doing so bc i already had basics. i went every day until i moved into my apartment, when i had a mental and physical breakdown and got really sick for a week (like.. i dont remember feeling this weak and sick my entire life). 

But thankfully i got better and pushed myself to go to dojang again. and it was hard. it was the summer and i hadnt used my body really in years, if ever at that level of practice. three times a week as Difficult for me, physically. i remember being frustrated that my ego wasnt satisfied haha (i thought i remembered a lot more than i did). but i loved the instructors a ton and practice was a great safe space/stress relief for the other sht that was going on my my life. I do remember that i was ready to graduate from white belt and start feeling better about my moves by the end of that summer (i was pretty frustrated that i couldnt do higher level moves, though mostly at myself). 

i finally got yellow stripe and tkd things went uphill from then. i got to know ppl at my dojang better, started to go to practice more progressively. I got my yellow belt and decided then that i wanted tkd to always be in my life as much as possible. I started going to practice every day or almost every day. my tkd friendships were developing, there were small disagreements too but overall i fell more and more in love with my instructors, the dojang master (again, my dad) and the sport. we laughed so much, sweat so much, lived well.

after green stripe, my self consciousness during practice spiked a bit more than usual. this is probs bc my life outside of tkd was stressful and i was looking at my friend fellow tkd members who were higher level more. i wasnt jealous of them, far from it, i just felt small compared to what they were able to achieve and felt bad that the instructor had to stop to explain the technique to me Again. in case it wasn’t clear, i am no prodigy; i learn slowly and with long consistent practice. the two disagreements i had with my closest member friends (two separate very different reasons; we kept things civil on both sides but having to deal with that was a new experience for me so i wasnt great at it haha) didnt help my anxiety shut up during practice. i still kept at it. in january my school has an attendance challenge where you win prizes if you go every day or more than 20 days out of the month. I almost made it, but got really physically tired & kinda sick 3 days before then end of jan and had to miss one session. i was also mentally drained by life stuff so i decided to prioritize grad school applications and did less tkd in february. but that experience of going every damn day was so fun; i realized I needed to do this so much more. if there was a tkd seminar where they send you off somewhere to to tkd for like 3 months i would be down. that is when i realized my love for the sport, and the significant changes in my body that had been occurring over the past months really revealed themselves. i hear you thinking there’s no way i could fall more in love with my instructors but guess what... spending every day with them really made the love Explode dudes. In jan and fed i also really started loving sparring, even though im not great at it. 

and then... march came. i got lucky to have been able to celebrate my birthday a few days before they decided to close my state down. at first i was still able to go to my dojang with smaller classes and different format of classes that respected health guidelines, but eventually everything was moved online. during that week of limited classes, i got to hang out with friend members and instructors for what would be, unbeknownst to me, one of the last times. one night after (6 feet no contact) starring, me, 2 friend members who also went very frequently and an instructor had a beer on the mats just talking and chilling. we said that we would do it again the week after. and then the state decided to shut down small businesses. i was helping the dojang transfer their classes to an online format with another student for a week (we two were the members with the highest attendance in the recent times), but then the instructors decided they should not let students come in anymore. 

i was angry, i was sad, i was devastated. it was the sound solution to take and all these closings are essential and needed for public health safety, but emotionally i was not ready to let go of the dojang. i was angry at the circumstances for taking away the one thing that i truly loved and kept me going all those months of less than ideal job situation and lost of existential questions. the dojang had been my challenge, my rock, my family. i was especially angry because i had to mourn the loss of it a lot earlier than i wanted; i was already supposed to leave in june of this year. the closer june came the more teary eyed i got when i thought of leaving the dojang, but after the news i had to stop going now... i broke down. i cried so hard and loudly, alone in my room. i realize now it was the first time in my life that i cried because of love. pure, unaltered love. i thought to myself ‘how lucky is it that i felt this amount of love for something and some people’. ive moved a lot in my life but rarely felt sad when leaving a place; i often had made my goodbyes and knew it was just time to go. there were few or no things keeping me back, or i knew i would find those things somewhere else. it was also the first time i had let myself fall in love with something and people only for me. i love studying and learning for example, but when i started doing it it was mostly to make my mom and family happy, not for me. i didn’t feel like i had had a passion that i completely gave in into, a truly ‘me’ thing no one asked me or expected me to do but i just did not to have a better resume or be perceived better by society. until tkd.

now, i am still following online classes but mostly have my own training routine because it’s still hard to deal with the emotional stuff; i dont really do to live classes cause it hurts. it probably sounds strange but ive already done the emotional work of distancing myself to make the leaving less difficult. i also didnt really like the the idea of practicing in my room in front of the camera. seeing the other students on zoom would also make me feel v sad. im slowly getting out of that state of mind though and might start taking online classes again in a bit when i can’t do my regular training routine. im not sure when things will go back to normal but before i leave i will definitely send them gifts and goodbye messages, probably by mail. but yeah as of now i mostly follow my dojang’s videos, do my practice routine, and scroll through tkd tricking videos on instagram to keep motivated.

it’s kind of a sad note to end on but my tkd story does not end here. wherever im headed next I will find another dojang where i will continue to practice. i can only hope it is half as good as the family i found here. and of course now I have this blog! and will continue nerding out about kicking endlessly hahaha.

thanks for reading if you made it this far! you can ask me questions if you’d like! also tell me your tkd story!! its so cool to hear how life lead people to kicking.

[deeeknows]

Wowwwwo im honored and excited for you to read this blog. This one was hard for me to write so dont hate me if it is less easy to understand. Id love to discuss anything you guys hate/love in the comments. See you on the other side.

June 28

today was a big day for me as i was looking forward to taking my math assessment all day. i should have studied but hindsight is 20/20. what i will note is my trip with Uesin. he selflessly gave up his afternoon to drive me to my house, to get food, and then to lanham. What i appreciate about him is how thoughtful all of his actions are. not even just the ones that place me on the receiving end but rather how he places purpose in every decision he makes. i want my relationship with God to mirror how his looks in these ways one day. but after we the assessment i drive back and there is a group meeting centered around Vaughn and he was telling us about his relocation story. a very humbling experience but it seems like God does that to many people that being give them a task they cannot complete on their own. Important Part There is no way for me to claim i trust God with my life and then not my child’s life. so when i feel called to move into the city and education for my child comes up i dont think I want the best for my children. i want what God has for my family and i trust that following his will we do the rest. secondly i learned there is no way to do this alone. no matter how much i tell myself i hate people and want to be alone community is neeeeeeded for relocation. not only will God get you plugged into the city but he will plant you in community with folks with the same mission as you. your church should represent where you live and the values of Christ. make the sacrifices needed to do Gods work if youre going to go there you might as well all the way do it. Important Part people call tell when youre just moving in as compared to bringing Jesus into their Community.

June 29

without much change in my day to day this week i was eager to see where my life would be challenged. my first adventure came when i went further out of the city with Megan and Lestle to the bank. our walk confused me slightly because of what i anticipated to be true about the city was just not lining up to be true at all. everyone thinks the city is the worst part of baltimore but Important Part i am starting to believe i have reason to believe that the people who live outside the city before they are in the county technically that have the most strenuous places. ostracized from the county because they arent good enough and without the “resources” of the city. its a hard life out here. fastforward to dinner time im walking to hiphop chicken and a woman starts screaming to me if i want to buy any movies. its in my nature to stop and talk because i just cant pretend like i cant hear someone speaking directly to me or keep walking when someone is trying to get my attention. so tell her i dont have any interest in any DVDs or console games or perfume but that also wasnt good enough for her. so she crosses the street to better communicate her need for a dollar just have something to drink. the thing that was catching me was we were on our way to eat dinner and i had already decided i wasnt going to spend my money because i wasnt to hungry. so i told her i didn’t have any singles but she can have and i assured her that if i did she would be in luck. shortly after i ended up giving her the 5 to her surprise and she starts crying. i ask her name and then she tells me and i say i will be praying for her but my family group was standing a ways off and were waiting for me to go to dinner. as i tried to walk away she reaches out for me and asks for me to pray for her now. by the time im finished she is in full blown tears and i just gotta go because i cant be out here crying in these streets. i tell this story because i think for me and her it was more than about the mere 5. Important Part while the 5 would get her something to drink it wasnt going to meet all of her needs and we both knew that. the immediacy she wanted her interaction with her Savior right then. and it just teaches me not walk past anyone again because besides “costing me” 5 dollars which was only mine for all of 5 minutes i was able to be with her in her interaction which i believe she will remember way longer than she will remember the 5 i dont even remember what it looked like.

June 30

Who am I. Question I’ve found in all of my conversations since Sunday. Looking for ways I could define myself without telling people what I’m not. Today’s thought provoking comments came by the brilliant minds of Feitian and Lestle. After I was taking notes on my Asian culture 101 class I started to realize my questions weren’t specific to myself and that many other people groups go through the very same things I do. Seeking to find ones self. Feitian communicated to me the exact thing that I knew I couldn’t have been the only other person thinking. That people don’t want to know you, they’d rather skip all the time it would take to get to know each person and use what they have gathered previously through most times skewed lens to contextualize you. Important Part Who you are and who you aren’t are two different people trapped in one body. And most times we are stuck in between looking for someone else to shine some light on us to help determine where our strengths and almost-strengths lie. But I didn’t come to this until the 3 of us went around and spoke about how we were having such immense difficulty communicating who we were to the next person or how hard it was without describing what we weren’t. I believe we live in our pursuit for purpose in our lives and we start with figuring out who we are and what we like. Most times we never make it to the second part without placing our identity in Christ. Important Part It sounds super corny but I have been thinking all week and those are the only concrete things I can describe myself with that others cannot change the definitions to. Who knows. Maybe one day I won’t be afraid of someone knowing me better than I do. But I can’t call it as of yet.

July 1

Writing this a day after wasn’t my smartest idea yet. But we didn’t do as much. It was comprised of a seminar on racial reconciliation. while this seems like a super broad topic and it is. the main parts of what we were doing were focused around a couple steps that really broke down the process into knowing who you are racially and ethnically and what that means for our society and how can we knowing our differences work to create heaven on earth. this whole seminar was a challenge as to what i thought heaven was going to look like. i can see now what a real working definition of unity looks like. unity is fully realized in diversity. as a puzzle works there are many many pieces and they are all shaped through cultures and experiences they have been in. Important Part we needed more than 1 uniqueshape to complete the image of God and thats what unity is about. accepting people who are different from you and working with them because we all together reflect God

After the seminar we went on a trip to the National Blacks in Wax museum. While it was a learning experience i would have enjoyed maybe another hour or 7 to properly pace myself to get to really digest the museum. The worst part about this whole thing for me is in the idea that many of the atrocious acts that were used to oppress black people in the past were not only “based” out of christian beliefs but also done by christian people. So to think about reconciliation for me is to attach myself to an agent that was used to divide people in the past didnt sound appealing at all. Important Part But i realize i serve a God that is big enough to take what some people manipulated to hurt and dehumanize my people and redeem not only what was taken but Christ’s name. This is so important to me because the more broken the more we can see God’s grace cover many times over.

July 2

as practicing sabbath becomes more and more a thing im getting used to im thankful for the time im putting aside to be alone. lol and be with

God. i went over to the Zubeks home and there i met so many new friends. these people im starting to see work together to get your will done and i say the way teamwork looks. vision casting and group work does more and helps to create a community that is dependent on each other. every part of me hates being dependent on someone else but im trying my best to do more than just isolate myself and grow to work with people towards a common goal. but today i went to worship at a mass. it was so new and short i didnt even realize it was over when it was. a different pace but not something i dont think id do long team. i dont see enough variability for myself. i like the experience. id want to get to understand why they do all of what they do for their practices.

July 3

monday was a day that we began to get back into everything with brother Jeff. as a starter we spent about 30 minutes in prayer interceding on behalf of the kids who were just coming back from camp, playing in the league, and the coaches. This is so valuable to me because of what the kids experienced while they were at summers best 2 weeks. This christian camp was a structure and environment that many different kids have in. Brother Jeff took these 7 kids and they all took MAJOR steps in their walk with Christ. And this is great to see but everyone isnt going to be at the best 2 weeks forever and the situations these kids are coming back to isnt one that would accidentally foster them to continue to grow. Important Part Which is why we were fighting in prayer for these kids to meet us halfway so we can continue to pour into them while they are around. becoming an intercessor is exciting me more and more because im becoming like my momma and i see the importance and value of what she does so well. pray for others. i might have to get me one of those closets that dont have a door since i feel like id get locked in and die. but thats besides the point. we then went shopping for the 4th and the weekend for him before coming back home and doing more admin things. then my favorite part of it all. spending time with the youth came. we took timmy*** to the park to hoop for quite some time. seeing and getting these kids to be themselves and slowly begin to look up to myself and lestle and begin to ASK us questions just shows how willing and eager they are to learn. cant wait for more times.

July 4

Writing this blog now I’m still experiencing the 4th in the city and so the nonstop fireworks kept me awake enough to write this entry. To begin my 4th I went to brother Jeffs home and had a cookout with the kids and some of his closest mentees. Over a couple games of uno, burgers, and corn we discussed among many other things honor. While it might seem like a little thing to you guys honor for these kids is VERY VERY important. As I believe it should be for everyone but in biased. Honor and respect is given to those who earn it and something you would never give up on your own accord without a fight. While I know this to be true in my life it didn’t settle in how serious this was until asked point blank where put in a situation you had to Choose walking away with your life or dying with your pride that some would choose to die. Not only did this seem almost ludicrous to me but it wasn’t until shortly after that “death before dishonor” really held any weight. Not only were these kids being put in these situations but they were being forced to make these decisions and would rather die and be known as a real one that held to their values than to flake even when your life is on the line. I love it when someone teaches me something new about myself and this was definitely a time i could realize who i was and where i could grow, Because just putting it in my Blog doesnt mean id be willing to give up my life for anything. Important Part These soldiers would be rocking it in the army of God but until we can get them to stand on the solid rock of Jesus things prolly not gon stay too bright.

My second part of my day I want to compare firework experiences. While they aren’t entertaining to me I enjoy seeing others amused by them. To start off we went to the Zubek Home to watch then after our crab feast. People start to filter onto the roof of their rowhome in SOWEBO and lean up pretty much with their significant others. As people all around the city shoot of their fireworks the thing that stuck out most to me in this situation was how people were celebrating. The laid back privileged group of christians versus the constant street show that we watched for close to an hour as they blocked off stricker less than 50 meters from our home opens my eyes to so many things and actually visible comfort zones. Important Part I want to remember to that the people in Baltimore are not here to put on a show for me on my rooftop but rather that im challenged to learn, experience, and love on the people to try and better understand them. Connections work wonders as we watched and listened to the fireworks go off from 9-2 am non stop.

While this blog was harder for me to write i think there were less Important Parts as well and i dont want yah to hate me for it. Hopefully the ones ive pointed out in this last week add help with anything you might have experienced once upon a time. My last impressions would be to find 3 things you can tell me about yourself without telling me who you arent. My challenge would be to try a vegetarian lifestyle for a week. And my question would be where would you put yourself on the death before dishonor scale?

[forestlion]

tagged by my second mother @apolloaegletes

Tag thing

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1: Are you named after someone? 

yes:

2: When is the last time you cried? sunday night lmao i love having anxiety but i usually dont really cry much bc i have no emotions

3: Do you like your handwriting? after being bullied for having a bad handwriting since day 1......im aight with it now, i just wish i wouldnt write so dam big like i be needing 10 pages for 3 words

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? "lunch meat” ????bruh

5: Do you have kids? no but i got two mothers and a wife

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? how we gonna meet if none of us talks to other ppl tho 

7: Do you use sarcasm? i might have used it once or twice for comedic purpose

8: Do you still have your tonsils? i dont really like tonsils when they taste like marzipan but i like em with the sugar coating......burnt tonsils 

(im out there......delivering the funnies day after day after day after)

9: Would you bungee jump? theres easier ways to die 

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? i like the basic Schokomüsli but legit the Schokomüsli which is oatmeal with lil chocolate bits 

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? i usually wear boot style shoes so i gotta but if i can get me foot outa me shoe without unlacing then i wont

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? yall wont catch me being able to open a bottle 

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavour? classic chocolate usually but if theres flavours i havent tried and they appeal to me then ill try that 

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? yall assuming i notice anything ever about anything 

15: Red or pink? hmmm.... i like dusty/old pinks i think 

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? whats the least....fav thing...i like???? what????? how do i like my least favourite thing 

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? im in me bed wearing no shoe but a bell bottom nautic looking...dark blue (its blue!!!!) typa cloth pants.....ay ay matrouse 

18: What was the last thing you ate? had a vegetable soup stew w wienerle cut into it bc i am german i guess 

19: What are you listening to right now? my heater yall wont be catching me listening to music for fun 

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? i wouldnt be a crayon in the first place 

21: Favorite smell? rain ....i dont know......i can be quite smell sensitive i dont usually like when things smell too strongly wether it be garbage or perfume etc.........but i like the honey shampoo bar from lush, makes me hair smell nice 

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? yall assuming i call people 

23: Favorite sport to watch? "sport” 

24: Hair color? right now? dark brown (with rootage), naturally? dark blonde but like the ugly blonde u find everywhere in the south of germany 

25: Eye color? theyd be a solid blue if it wasnt for that meddling green around my pupil ....i also have a brown dot in my left eye which has been called “dirt” before ......yall i was a bullied child........ 

26: Do you wear contacts? i wear glasses all the time every day of my life until i go fully blind (which is a legit concern of mine) 

27: Favourite food to eat? "sushie” lmaooo elenaaa who is this susanne with a lisppppp  anyway i love japanese 

28: Scary movies or comedy? i like both i aint no quitter 

29: Last movie you watched? i rewatched “Der Sternwanderer” (Stardust 2007) .....a great movie...... @apolloaegletes when will we watch this 

30: What color shirt are you wearing? a white knit jumper with a black and flowery W on it......part of the weasley fam 

31: Summer or winter? winter tbh im a living furnace 

32: Hugs or kisses? hugs i think.....im aight with kisses tho 

33: What book are you currently reading? nothing my dudes .....i mean if.....my seminar paper book counts then......”Das Muschelessen” 

34: Who do you miss right now? obama 

35: What is on your mouse pad? ive never had one in my life 

36: What is the last TV program you watched? is it tv programme if i dont watch it on tv tho.......i rewatched a coupla Rupaul’s Drag Race episodes while waiting for Supernatural to return on thursday

37: What is the best sound? the sound of silence 

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? what is this......the middle ages? frühe neuzeit? did luther write this?

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? japan, probably 

40: Do you have a special talent? i can do a wide array of horribly bad accents 

41: Where were you born? in a hospital in the deep south of kentucky, florida, beverly hills 

@croftmanor @niallandtommo @peachnouis yall idk i tag all yall 

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Hey guys, my name's Rob and I thought I'd share my experience as an entrepreneur starting an online coupon site DealsXtra and an email sourcing tool Contactout. Lately, I've been musing on trying to find a greater sense of purpose, so please take the time to read the article below and let me know what you think​I went to one of those personal development cults seminars once, and I asked a barrage of questions:What is the purpose of life? What should I do with my life?“Shut the fuck up”, the seminar leader said“You already know all the answers inside. You’re just asking me for permission to do what you already know is right. You’re looking for validation. Stop. You don’t need anyone’s permission. When you get an internal sense of what’s right, just go do it. Act, and then see what happens. Adjust your actions depending on the results that you get.When you come across a problem, think for yourself how to solve it, trust in your own judgement. See the world with your own fresh pair of eyes and make your own conclusions from first hand experience. Don’t just listen to everything that other people tell you. Always question and think critically; other people are no smarter than you are. Listen to others, but think for yourself.”FOLLOW YOUR HEARTThe best advice I’ve ever gotten in my life is to follow my heart. I think of it like, there’s a guiding compass inside of me, that always knows which direction to go. An inner voice that knows what’s right. I just need to tune into it and trust it.For example, right after university, I worked in investment banking and hated my life. I hated the lack of freedom, the repetitive tasks, the ass kissing. I knew I wanted to work on my own business. An online business that would let me travel and explore the world. But I didn’t trust myself. I’ve studied so hard to land this job. All my friends where in corporate. How could it possibly be the right move to leave when everyone else was happily working? Wasn’t I living the corporate dream? I kept looking to other people for career advice, when I already knew. It took me 6 months to find the courage. I decided to start my own business – it was the best decision of my life.Elon Musk also follows his heart. He calls it: “thinking from first principles”. When asked how he came up with the ideas for Tesla, SpaceX and Paypal, Elon looked inside. He asked himself what are the biggest problems that humanity is currently facing? And thought about solutions to those problems. Meanwhile, most people are caught up with the crowd, trying to ride market trends. Let’s do cryptocurrency for dogs!SOCIAL CONDITIONINGThere are all these people telling us how we should live our lives. Social conditioning is fucking with us everywhere. Work is telling us that climbing the corporate ladder means success in life. Fashion trends are defining what beautiful is. Our social group is making us conform and act in a socially acceptable way.Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t. We’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off. – Fight ClubHumans are tribal creatures; we’re wired to go with the crowd. But just because everyone else believes in something, it does not mean that it’s right. In the past, everyone believed that the earth was flat. We look back and think that’s ridiculous. Now imagine that you’re in the future looking back. Could it be that there are heaps of popular beliefs we hold today that our future selves would think are ridiculous?We forget to listen to ourselves. Our default state is to listen to others. We spend our lives trying to live up to other people’s expectations. But most people have never sat down and really thought about what they want to do with their lives. And it’s important that we think about it because we only have one life. We only have a limited time on this planet. One day we will be dead.You’re time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. – Steve JobsThe challenge for our generation is creating a world where everyone has a sense of purpose. Purpose is that sense that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, that we are needed, that we have something better ahead to work for. Purpose is what creates true happiness. – Mark ZuckerbergSOCIAL CONDITIONING VS FOLLOWING OUR HEARTSDo we listen to social conditioning? Or do we follow our hearts? The book “The Fountainhead” explores this question. The story goes like this:Once upon a time there were two architects who went to university together – Peter and Howard. Peter was super social; he became the head of the architecture society. He networked his way into a really prestigious firm after he graduated. Worked incredibly hard, sucked up to all the right people and eventually became a director of the firm. Made tonnes of money and retired a rich man. Towards the end of his days, though, he looked back on all the buildings that he designed and thought to himself: “All these buildings are ugly, I don’t like a single one of them. Every building I designed was driven by what the client wanted, or what my firm wanted.” He felt like his vision of the perfect building was still trapped inside him, and that nothing he achieved in life meant anything.Meanwhile the other architect, Howard, just didn’t give a fuck. He hated the Victorian design classes at university because it was unnecessarily ornate. Howard wanted to do minimalist post modern design. He ended up dropping out of university and going to intern with an architect who he had a lot of respect for. However, the architect wasn’t getting much business because his designs were so radical. Later on, Howard started his own firm. But he would only take on clients if the client gave him complete freedom to design the building however he wanted. His clients would have no say in the design at all. Howard didn’t have many clients and only built a few buildings in his career. However, he felt that every building that he built was a representation of his truest vision of art. The pylons of the building were like Howard’s bones, the windows and wooden finishings were his skin and flesh, each building was a temple to his soul.Would you rather be Howard? Or would you rather be Peter?How has social conditioning influenced how you live?Write down 10 of your core beliefs.Which of your beliefs did you consciously decide upon, and how many have been dictated by society?Which of your beliefs are helping you and which beliefs are holding you?Are you living the life you want to live, or the life society wants you to live?How do YOU want to live your life?LOVE WHAT YOU DOYour work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. – Steve JobsWHY BIGGER GOALS ARE BETTERMost people set small goals in life. We don’t set ourselves big goals because we’ll fail. But big goals are actually easier to achieve than small goals. People are inspired by big goals and will go out of their way to help you. Investors will give you money. Big goals create movements and bring together teams. Small goals may be easier to accomplish, but not as many people will help you do it. Also there’s much less competition with big goals. How many of your friends are trying to cure cancer or solve cold fusion? How many friends work in accounting? Sure curing cancer is a million times harder than working in accounting, but there’s a million times more people that your competing against if you choose accounting.When I started my coupon site 7 years ago, I just wanted to earn enough money to support myself and travel. This wasn’t going to become a big business, so I had trouble attracting investors. When I pitched at startup conferences, investors would be like, “cool story bro, needs more dragons.” I had no money, and my goal wasn’t very inspiring, so I had trouble hiring great people. I ended up spending 4 years figuring out marketing by myself and building the business to a level where it supports my lifestyle – yay, go me.Meanwhile, Tim Kently-Klay managed to build Zoox into a 1.5 billion dollar business in the same time frame. Right… So wtf am I doing with my life? Here’s how Tim did it. One day Tim woke up and was like, “I want to build fully autonomous self driving cars”. No, not some half-arsed version like Tesla. Tim explains that by completely removing the steering wheel, driver’s seat and components needed for human driving, you can make a much more efficient self driving robot. A fully autonomous Uber – that was the dream. A slight problem was that Tim knew fuck all about self driving cars. But Tim was a hella smart guy who had started a successful graphics design company in the past, so he set about reading everything he could on self driving cars. After a year of intense study, he drew out some blueprints for his self driving car which he displayed at some conferences.His plans were given the honorable title of “Vaporware Horseshit” by critics. However, Tim hustled on and met Niki the venture capitalist who gave him a million dollars.Tim took that million dollars and went to the self driving car team at Apple. He said to them, “hey so you know… you guys are all screwed because Apple is shutting down their self driving car project. So come join me and we shall conquer the world.” And the self-driving car team is like, sure, seems legit, why not? Then Tim went to Lord Draper, the greatest venture capitalist of them all, and was like, “Hey I am building a self driving car and have the best team in the world to do it, you should give me 30 million dollars.” Draper thought for a while and then he’s like, sure why not? Tim took that money and convinced more people to join his jihad. Then he goes and raises 250m at a $1.5bn valuation. Tim does all this in 4 years.I set a small goal; build a coupon site. In 4 years I accomplished it. Tim set a big goal; make fully autonomous self driving cars. And in 4 years he has built a $1.5bn company.What would you rather be doing?If you could achieve anything, what would you be working on?WHAT ABOUT MONEY?When I was in college choosing my career, all I cared about was: how much money could I make? So I chose investment banking. And I quit after 6 months. But anyway. Most of my peer group chose their careers because of money. It wasn’t always like this. Back in the 60s, we had just landed on the moon. Einstein and Edison were the celebrities of the day. People wanted to be inventors, explorers and scientists – to work on things that would push forward the envelope of human progress. Nowadays people want money – financial security. What happened to changing the world? Most people are not working on meaningful problems. Millions are dying in Africa. Our best and brightest proceed to go work in finance or tech or whatever industry is the most cashed up.If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you’ll spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing thing you don’t like doing, which is stupid. – Alan WattsBeing the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to be at night saying we’ve done something wonderful that’s what matters to me. – Steve JobsHere’s the thing: solving the world’s biggest problems is the best way to make money. This makes sense from an economics perspective. If you create the most value then the market will reward you with the most money. But wait, how the hell would working to solve poverty in Africa make more money than being an investment banker? Banking appears to be a steadier path to making more money – if we view things from a short term perspective. But what about in 10 years, 20 years and more?Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years– Bill GatesLet’s say you start a social enterprise in Africa. In your first year you make nothing and your banker friend makes $150k. In 10 years, your social enterprise does well enough for you to live comfortably. Meanwhile your friend is making $2m as a director. You wonder if you made the wrong choice. But in 20 years, Africa grows rapidly, income levels rise 20x to western levels. Business is booming because your customers can afford to pay you western prices. Everyone now wants to invest in Africa. Multinationals are in a bidding war to buy your company. The land that you brought for ten thousand dollars per hectare is now worth a one million dollars per hectare. You are now worth over $100m. Meanwhile the world realizes investment bankers are basically glorified real estate agents – annoying and unnecessary. Bankers and real estate agents get replaced by a super efficient AI marketplace and your friend is made redundant.BUT IT’S RISKYSure, chasing big goals is risky. People say that 9 out of 10 new ventures fail. Well, what if you tried 30 times? It’ll take about 4 months to see if a venture will work out, so you can try 3 new ventures a year. If you work on it for 10 years, you’ve tried 30 different ventures and you’re basically guaranteed success.How I got over risk of starting my own business was, I said to myself: even if I tried for the rest of my life and I died trying, would I be happy? Yes, because I enjoy the process of trying to change the world, building a business, and working on something I find meaningful. I can’t control if I will succeed or not. What matters is that I tried.It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. – Franklin D RooseveltImagine at the end of your life, you realized that you never gave your dream a try. You just let it slip past. How would you feel?When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like, “If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me… and since then, for the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today.”And whenever the answer has been, “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.Because almost everything: all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure… these things just fall away in the face of death… leaving only what is truly important.Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. – Steve JobsLIMITING BELIEFSPeople have all these limiting beliefs about why they can’t achieve their dreams. Like, I am not smart enough, I have a family to support, I am too old, I have a very needy cat.All these bullshit excuses. How do you know you can’t do something until you’ve tried? You don’t know. It’s much more useful to believe you can do anything, because then you’ll try. If you don’t try you fail by default.Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do– Steve JobsPeople seriously underestimate how far willpower can take you. It doesn’t matter where you come from or what your circumstances are. Got a family to support? Keep your day job and work on your dreams at night. Not smart enough? Spend twice as long studying. Too old? KFC was built by a 70 year old. You are not a victim of your circumstances.What are some things you want to achieve but feel like you can’t?YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO MANIf there’s one story that demonstrates how far willpower will take you despite the hand you’ve been dealt, it’s that of Barrack Obama. No not the president, but his father Barrack Obama Sr.Obama Sr grew up in one of the poorest families in the world in Sub-Saharan Africa, but his son went on to become the most powerful man in the world. How did this happen?Obama Sr grew up in a Kenyan village. School was a little shanty hut where all the village children were packed into one class. Education sucked, but Obama Sr showed some spark. He had one thing going for him: he was able to learn English since grandfather Obama was a cook in a white household. One day, some aid workers came to visit their village. Teenage Obama Sr was like, “damn those aid workers looking fine, I think I’ll go chat them up.” The aid workers were impressed by Obama Sr’s drive and encouraged him to apply to the University of Hawaii’s African scholarship program. Barrack Sr studied intensely and with the tutorship of the aid workers managed to get the scholarship. At the University of Hawaii Obama Sr met Ann Dunham who would become Obama Jr’s mother. When he wasn’t chasing skirts, he managed to top his class and get a full scholarship into Harvard Law School. Willpower can get you from growing up in sub-Saharan Africa to going to Harvard Law School, to your son becoming the president of the United States.Now you may be thinking Obama Sr is smarter and more driven than I’ll ever be. He has better genetics. Just because he has achieved greatness doesn’t mean that I can. But are successful people really smarter than us? So I was in Silicon Valley last year doing a program called 500startups where I got to meet tech billionaires and industry leaders. It was surprisingly underwhelming… The advice these billionaires gave was mostly self indulgent, generic and useless details. “so I cooked lunch for my team everyday, and everyone loved my cooking”. “Ohh marketing, we didn’t do any marketing, the product just grew by itself”. The best advice I got was actually from other startup founders who were still hustling to make it. Then it struck me. These billionaires are not better than the rest of us. They’ve just worked hard and on the right things. But they’re fallible humans. We are all cut from the same cloth. I can do whatever they can do.Malcolm Gladwell writes about the 10,000 hour rule: how a master in any field has practiced for at least 10,000 hours. If we put in that amount of hours, we can master anything. Take Laszlo Polgar, a Hungarian psychologist who, after studying hundreds of great intellectuals, identified a common theme – early and intensive practice. He hypothesized that with intense practice, he could turn his three daughters into prodigies. He chose chess as the perfect activity to train his children in, because it was creative and analytical and had objectively measurable results. Two of his daughters went on to become grand-masters. No women had ever achieved the title of grand-master before. All three daughters ranked in the top 6 in the world for chess.Sure, we’re born with certain physical characteristics or elements of our personality that are hard to change. But the moment that we accept ourselves, take the wheel and start steering, that’s when things start happening. Take Lebron James vs Steph Curry. Lebron has the perfect genetic build for a basketball player. Steph doesn’t. He doesn’t have the height, he doesn’t have the bulk. But he doesn’t give a shit. He proceeds to practice the hell out of his shot. And with that, he has achieved a level of success to rival Lebron. You may not be able to change some part of yourself, but you can develop other parts and be just as effective.Cool, so I believe I can do anything I set my mind to. But…HOW DO I FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE?To discover your “why”, ask yourself these questions. Find the common denominators in the answers and you’ll have your first lead to explore in finding your why. The commonalities in your answers may point you towards your purpose, and give you some directions to explore.What do you think is biggest problem in the world right now?If money and time weren’t limiting factors, what would you allow yourself to dream of doing?What makes you feel angry, or rise up at the injustice you see?What gets your emotions going? what brings tears to your eyes?What makes you happy?– Daniel Flynn, founder Thankyou WaterREADRead. Do a shit tonne of reading, and then read some more. There are world leaders and billionaires who have spent years distilling the best of their life’s wisdom and principles of success into books. Books that we can access instantly for $10 on Amazon. It’s the digital age. We are the first generation to have the entire trove of human knowledge available on demand in our pockets.Yet most of us don’t read. What the fuck? Instead we spend our time watching TV. What did Kim K name her kid? Did North Korea fire another rocket? What happens next on Game of Thrones? All this bullshit that we don’t need to know about. Our newest drug addiction is social media. It gives us a hit of validation, a new like, another viral video. But there’s no substance, no meaning. The short term hit leaves us shallow inside and longing for another, and another. Popular media is fucking up our brains. It’s the information age buffet. Because we’re fat fucks from the first world, we say, give me all the junk food, broccoli can fuck off. We need to treat the information we consume like food and watch we’re putting into our bodies.LISTEN TO AUDIO-BOOKSThe best life hack that anyone has ever told me is to listen to audio-books at 2x speed. You can listen to audio-books whilst you’re at the gym, or driving, or any other mindless task. This way, it’s easy to find 2-3 hours everyday, and if you do, you can finish 2 books every week, and 100 books a year. 100 books will put you miles ahead. Most people don’t even finish 100 books in their lifetime. I started audio-books 3 years ago, and I’ve learnt more in 3 years than I have in the rest of my life combined. School didn’t teach me useful skills, books did. Books written by people who have done it before. You can get most popular titles on Amazon’s Audible book store. Make sure you select the USA Audible store as this has the widest selection.WHAT SHOULD I READ?Check the New York Times best sellers list. Ask mentors what their favorite books are. Google for book recommendations by Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg or other people you respect.Here’s a list of my favorite books:The Power of Now by Eckhart TolleThe Fountainhead by Ayn RandSelf Compassion by Kirstin NeffThe Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizThe Singularity is Near by Ray KurtzweilCrucial Conversations by Kerry PattersonThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson100 book recommendations FIND MENTORSAfter reading and researching what I wanted to do. I got in touch with people who’ve done it before. No matter what you’re trying to achieve, there are 7 billion people in the world and there are people out there who have done similar things to what you’re attempting to do. Find these people on Linkedin and ask for their mentorship. Ask people who are not your direct competitors, people in a different geography or who have moved onto something else. You’d be surprised at how many people respond. I got around a 30% response rate. Here’s an email that I sent.Hi John,I am Rob, an Australian tech entrepreneur linkedin.com/in/robliu. We’re building contactout.com a recruitment tool similar to Connectifier but targeting the Australian and UK markets.I would greatly appreciate your mentorship and advice on growth and how to do sales for recruitment tools, and any insights you’ve gained from your experience at Connectifier.Would you be free for a brief chat on Skype? Happy to send you $500 for your time.Kind Regards, Rob LiuJohn was previously VP Marketing at Connectifier, a competitor whose business model I was trying to copy. John came on board as an adviser and helped me add over one million dollars in value to my business. It all started with an email.When emailing, bribe people. Offer them $500 to talk to you. This makes it look like you’re serious about your request and respectful of their time. Most mentors are rich already and won’t accept your money. For people who do accept your money, don’t bother talking with them. Because if they need $500, then they’re probably not very successful, and would make a shitty mentor.After reading, researching, finding mentors, you’ll still have to figure out a lot of the journey by yourself. You’re aiming to do something great and that involves blazing a path into the unknown. It’s like playing soccer. You can read all about soccer tactics, you can practice dribbling, practice kicking. But if you want to get good at soccer, you need to get out onto the field and play the game. Think for yourself, follow your heart, and take action.You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference. – Steve JobsYOU ARE ON THIS EARTH FOR A REASON.We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?– Steve Jobs“Are you a born writer? Were you put on earth to be a painter, a scientist, an apostle of peace? In the end the question can only be answered by action.Do it or don’t do it.It may help to think of it this way. If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself,. You hurt your children. You hurt me. You hurt the planet.You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite the Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter farther along its path back to God.Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”– Steven Pressfield

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Interview: Todd Smith on Earning $27M Over 23 Years & His Book Little Things Matter

I was about to sit down and do another deal structure outline, and I thought it would be best, given the time of year, to do one more article that addresses sort of that inner game that is required to have success in any business. Ill get back to deal structuring topics in the coming articles. I had the fortune of interviewing a good friend recently on my podcast. Todd Smith from Sarasota, Florida has been an entrepreneur for over 35 years and has enjoyed extraordinary personal and professional success. He owned his first business at the age of 18, became one of the youngest real estate agents ever inducted into RE/MAXs Hall of Fame at the age of 28, and became an internationally recognized leader and trainer, earningget this$27 million over the last 23 years in that industry. I met Todd at an industry meeting way back in the early 90s and weve stayed connected since. Todd has conducted more than a thousand training sessions and seminars for audiences around the world. Hes also developed numerous training manuals and audio-visual sales tools, teaching entrepreneurs how to achieve professional success and accomplish their personal goals. His journey taught him that success comes from the compounding effect of doing the little things correctly and consistently. Hes the author, quite appropriately, of Little Things Matter. Its a resource for all those who place a priority on being the best they can. Its the first step in a comprehensive program designed to help people improve their business and their personal lives. Ill let you sit in on this interview as Todd shares some amazing nuggets. Remember, those you listen to, hang out with, and network with are extremely important and directly affect your income. Advice on Success From Todd Smith I wrote Little Things Matter because one of the things that my lifes journey has taught me is that its not the big things that separate the best of the best from the rest. Its the little things. Reflecting back on my real estate career, I got started at age 23 in my first year selling real estate, and that was 32 years ago. I made a quarter of a million dollars, and within four years, I was the second-highest producing real estate agent in the state of Illinois at age of 28. I did set goals, but it wasnt that I had a dream of being a top-producing real estate agent. It was all the little things that I did to stand out from the rest as an individual. The little things were making sure that I arrived at all of my appointments five minutes earlythat I rang the doorbell at the exact time of the appointment, that I smiled and greeted the prospective seller, that I made equal eye contact with both the husband and the wife, that I showed an interest in the children, that I got down and took time to pet the cats and dogs, that I talked about things that were of interest to them. I sent hand-written thank you notes. I was always smiling and upbeat and pleasant and focused on them, and I never brought in my mobile phone. I focused on the people in front of me. One of my biggest things was that I was disciplined. I pushed myself every day to do what most people arent willing to do. My discipline combined with my focus on making sure that I was doing every little thing allowed me to achieve that success. I remember listening to Anthony Robbins audio program Unlimited Power, which Id recommend for any of you reading this. I made sure I was mirroring and modeling. If they talked slow, Id talk slow. If they talked faster, I talked faster. If they seemed like they just want to talk and build more of relationship, I talked and built more of a relationship. If they seemed like they wanted to get into talking business, I got into talking business. If they were leaning forward, I was leaning forward. I was always dressed in a suit and tie. My shoes were always shined. I was doing every little thing to build a relationship to connect with them, to have them like me and to have them respect me. As a result of that, my closing rate was 92% over my career. When I say my closing rate, I mean that when I met with sellers who were interviewing multiple other agents, I closed 92% of all my sales. Even with that kind of success, I was saying to myself, OK, why was I successful? I didnt really understand it at the time. Even though I was intentional about the little things, I had no way of comparing myself to anybody. Then I moved into the direct sales career, as Chris indicated above, and I continued to implement that strategy of looking at every little thing I could do to be better. I believed in the global economic system, which is that income follows value.

If you want your income to grow, your value must grow first. Very seldom in life does anybody get paid more than their value. If they are getting paid more than their value, one of two things happens. Either their income comes down to their value or their value goes up to their income. Just because youre choosing the real estate market and maybe flipping homes, or buying and selling on terms like Chris and his family to some capacityor youre considering doing thatunderstand that your success is still going to be determined by your value. Youre just not going to say, OK, Im choosing to do something different with my life and Im going to go from making $20 an hour to $100 an hour. Life doesnt work that way. Certainly, the vehicle makes a big difference, but its who you become within that vehicle that makes the biggest difference. There are people who make big money in everything in life. Its all about choosing the right vehicle and pursuing that. The point that I really focused on was continuing to grow myself and be the best that I could be. When I say the best that I could be, its not just the best that I could be in business. Its being the best person I can be. We cant just say, OK, were going to be a certain way in our business life and then be different in our personal life. Im striving to be the best husband I can be, to be the best father I can be, to be the best friend I can be, to be the best contributor in our community that I can be, and to be the best that I can be in my business. These things are based upon where my priorities are and how much time I allocate to each thing. In business, we are a reflection of who we are as people. We built a brand for ourselves, and thats who we are. Our brand is not just heres our business brand, and our business brand is different than our personal brand. No, our brand is more than brand. I am somebody who throughout my career has striven for excellence at these little things. As a result of it, my businesses have sold over $2 billion and Ive learned that there are not very many people at the top. The reason is that most people arent willing to put in the effort to get to the top. Oftentimes when youre successful, you dont know why at the time. As I began to analyze why I was successful, I eventually came to determine that it was because I strived for excellence at the little things. I felt I wanted to write a booknot so much to make money with the book (and I havent made money with the book). You dont write a book to make money; I know very few people who have made money writing books. For me, I wanted to write a book that taught what I believed was the key to success. I wanted to highlight the things that I felt would have the greatest application to the broadest audience of people. Related: My One-Word Answer to: What Separates Those Who Succeed From Those Who Fail, Give Up, or Never Try? It doesnt matter what profession youre in. It could be about professional footballits that wide receiver that can catch the ball with a defensive player in his face on a corner of the end zone and get his feet in bounds. Those are the guys who make it to the NFL. Its not the guy who can catch a football. Everybody can catch a football. Everybody can run. Everybody can run fast. There are a lot of people who can run fast and catch a football, but can you run fast and catch a football in the right circumstances, and handle pressure the right way? Its not the big things, and I could give you analogy after analogy. Its not the big things that make the difference. Its you becoming the best at what you are doing. You become the best at what youre doing by honing in and refining and becoming the best at the little things. If you become great at all of the little things, the compounding effect of your intentional efforts allows you to become the best at what youre doing. 5 Steps Ive Used to Find to Success I have trained hundreds of thousands of people, and Ill tell you that everybody wants a better life. Everybody wants a nicer car. Everybody wants a nicer house. Everybody wants more money. Everybody wants to travel the world. Everybody wants a better quality of life. Everybody wants to put together five deals in six months. It all boils down towhat are you willing to do toachieve that goal? But youve got to set realistic goals. I have found throughout my experience in working with entrepreneurs all over the world that 90 percent of people set unrealistic goals. As I noted above, somebodys making $20 an hour, and just because they begin to do something else, they think theyre going to make $100 an hour. It doesnt work that way. The world doesnt work that way. Thats pie-in-the-sky thinking. For anybody that wants to do something, its most important to begin by asking yourself, Why? Why do I want to do this? How bad is my desire? Because if you dont have the burning desire to be successful with anything youre going to pursue, youre not going to be successful. To be successful in life is not easy. I believe you can be great at anything, but you cant be great at everything. You have to pick what youre going to be focused onwhat youre going to be successful at. 1. Have a burning desire. Youve got to have a strong, burning desire to be successfula desire so strong that it will push you every day to do what is required of you. If youre not willing to do what is required of you, then you might as well not even get started. This is how I coach everybody. Im just not the kind of person who plays games. I say, Hey, if youre not going to do whats required of you to be successful, then dont waste your life on this project; find something else thats important to you. 2. Build your knowledge. How can you be successful at something for which you dont have knowledge? So you say, OK, how do I build my knowledge? How do I become as educated as I can be on this subject? Obviously, I admire all of you who are taking the time to read this, because it tells me that youre wanting to learn. Youre wanting to get better. I talked to a guy recently who is at the absolute top of his game. He is unbelievably successful and listens to all of Chriss podcasts at 1.7 speed, just looking for a little nugget here and there. He says, Hey, 99 percent of the time that I spend listening to something, I may not be learning anything, but its that 1%, that one thing that I learned, that makes a difference. You have to continue to build your knowledge. You have to start building your knowledge, and then you have to continue building your knowledge. 3. Create a plan. OK, so now I know what I want to be successful at. I built my knowledge and whats my plan going to be? Your plan needs to be not just the big picture plan, but it needs to be a plan broken down into what you should do every day. A lot of people will set a goal to have six deals closed, but they dont build their knowledge. They dont have any plan. Theyre just saying, Im going to do it. Life doesnt work that way, and thats not the kind of thinking that comes out of anybodys mouth or mind whos ever been successful, because people who have been successful know that success takes time. Success doesnt happen overnight. Yes, there are a few people who will put together six deals in six months. Nobody wouldve thought that I would have had the success that I did selling 68 homes in my first year in real estate and making a quarter of a million dollars. Yes, it can be done, but it can only be done if you build your knowledge and you have a plan. 4. Execute that plan. Let me just say that most people dont have enough of a desire to push themselves, so most people fail on step one. Of those who do have the desire, very few people will go and say, OK, let me build my knowledge on something. Then you get down to a smaller number that will put together a plan to execute in order to achieve what they have set forth. When you get to step fourexecuting the planthis is where youre down to less than 2% of the people that have gone through the first few points and who are disciplined to execute that plan with excellence. 5. Refine. Based upon what you have learned, youre refining, youre tracking all your numbers, youre looking at all your data, and youre determining: Where do I refine? How do I get better? What is not working? What parts should I focus on that are working? I determined very early on in my real estate career that I was going to focus on for sale by owners. That was my target market. I was very clear on my target market, and I determined I was going to be the best at targeting that market. For each of you reading this, what is your target market? Youre going to try different things and youre going to say, Well, that didnt work. You dont want to say it after trying it one or two times. You have to have enough statistical data to say that something doesnt work. I called my first for sale by owner and they agreed to meet with me. What if my first 10 people had said, No, the reason were selling for sale by owner is because we hate real estate agents? What would that have done to my psyche? But overall, the numbers were what my numbers were regardless of 10 noes in a row or 10 yeses in a row. Expectations begin with goal-setting, and goal-setting is dependent on ones true desire. You can set goals until youre blue in the face. If your desire is not strong enough, youre not going to do whats required of you to achieve those goals. If somebody has got big goals and big expectations, then I hope its a person whos already been successful at something else in life. If this is the first thing youre hoping to be successful in at an extraordinary level, its highly unlikely that its going to happen, whether its this or something else. How many times have you met somebody who began to do something new and who was amazingly great at it right out of the gate? I cant even think of one person, and I know a lot of people. Thats why I say the best of the best are the best at the little things, and the people who are the top achievers are the people who are an inch wide and a mile deep in a single category. As Malcolm Gladwell said in Tipping Point, its when youve got 10,000 hours in something. Thats because youve learned enough, youve refined enough, youve executed enough, and you now are dialed into exactly what it is that you should be doing to get the optimal level of conversions and success. Ive hung out with Chris, for example, and I know the level of discipline he has in all five of these areas; I know the hours he has invested since 1991 in real estate, and as a result, the level of success he and his family are experiencing is no surprise to me. Success leaves cluesfollow the path.

Build Your Influence: Be Likable and Respectable Lets begin at the beginningthe foundation. John Maxwell says that leadership is one word: influence. If I were to ask, What describes influence? the answer would be respect. If you are respected, you have influence. When you have influence, everything in life goes better. Trust falls under respect. You can be trusted but not respected. But you cant be respected and not trusted. If youre not trusted, youre not respected either. Whether youre leading people that work with you, work around you, or work alongside you, your degree of success with them is determined by how these people view you. If you want to have the ultimate success, you want to be the kind of person that people look at and think, I like him/I like her, and I respect him/I respect her. You want to build a brand that when people think of it, they say, I like you and I respect you. If people can say, I like you and I respect you, they will want to do business with you. They will want to come to your birthday party. They will want to come to the talk youre giving about what youre doing. Your ultimate goal is to be a person of influence. If you want to be a person of influence where doors of opportunity open, where people look at you and say, I want to do business with you, where people refer others to you, you need to be somebody who is liked and respected. When you look at being liked, its all the obvious things: smiling, having a pleasant personality, being positive and upbeat, not talking about negative things, not talking negatively about peoplebeing a source of positive, upbeat energy. Whether its over the phone and youre smiling while you talk, or whether youre meeting with somebody and youre smiling, and youre greeting them, and youre repeating their name, all of this is what makes you likable. There are hundreds of factors that influence peoples respect for you. Are you on time? Do you get back to people when you say you will? Do you schedule firm appointments or do you leave them vague and open? What does your communication look like? Do you open your emails by saying, Hi Dean, I hope you had a great weekend? And then you dive into your subject in a new paragraph, and you have white space between your paragraphs, no big monster paragraphs, and everything is proofed and your communication is clear and concise. What do your text messages look like? How long does it take to respond to email? How long does it take you to respond to a phone call? How long does it take you to respond to a text? What is the tone in your communications? These are the hundreds of things that I talk about in my blog and in my book. When youre meeting with somebody do you let them finish talking before you talk? Are you quick to interrupt? When youre listening to people, can they tell youre listening intently or do they think youre waiting to say something? When youre listening and looking at them, are you looking off to the side? All of these things influence peoples respect for you and influence whether they like you. Related: Sorry, But Real Estate Investing is NOT Easy. Still, You Can Succeed if If you want to be somebody that is highly successful in working with people, sellers, buyers, owners, you need to build a brand for yourself such that when people think of you and when they look at you they think, I like him. He is different. I like her. I like the way she accepted responsibility for that challenge rather than making an excuse for it. Or, Even though this was a challenging situation, I respected that he always was on top of his communication with me. I would love to do another deal with him, or I certainly would not hesitate to refer any of my investor friends to her because of the way she handled herself during this entire transaction. Its not just about getting the deal put together, so to speak. Its about how you handle everything from front to finish, and whether they want to do more business with you, and have talked about you to their investment clubs, and talked about you to their friends. People hang around people like themselves. People who own apartment buildings hang around other people who own apartment buildings. People who own multiple pieces of residential real estate hang around other people who own multiple pieces of residential real estate. If you want to be highly successful in this career over the long-term, these are the kinds of things you want to do. And by the way, long-term is how I would be looking at it. This is not a six-month or one-year thing. Dont waste your time if thats what youre thinking. You wont be successful in anything saying, Im going to do this for six months to a year. You have to say, Hey, this is what I want to do. I would love to build this into my lifestyle. I would love to be a guy or a gal that can put together deals and make an income and build a residual income through investment properties. Im going to become the best that I can be at this. What can I do to become the best? You have to look at everything, including your social media posts. Who is going to refer you to some of these people? Maybe its the people who are following you on Facebook. Youre putting pictures of yourself up there partying. Let me tell you, that is not the image thats will cause people to respect you or even like you, so youve got to be thinking about everything. Your brand is your brand. You dont separate it. Its not like, My brand in business is this and my brand in my personal life is that. No, your brand is your brand and people arent stupid. If you think theyre stupid, youre wrong. Theyre going to see it, and theyre going to determine whether or not youre somebody they want to do business with. Maybe somebody comes to them and says, Hey, do you know Eric Milander? Yeah, I know Eric. What do you think about Eric? Im thinking about doing a deal with him. Well, I wouldnt do a deal with Eric if my life depended on it, or Eric is somebody that I really like. Hes a great guy. I love his personality. He just seems to always show interest in me. Hes a good listener. Hes highly responsible. Everybody that I know that knows him thinks highly of him. This is the brand that you want to build if you want to be successful in the world of busines. Especially if you want people to trust you with their money and their real estate, it is important to build this kind of a brand. Plan, Prioritize, and ActDaily Have a to-do list. I know what I need to do so the day is spent doing one thing. While I could have 20 other things on my to-do-list checked off in the same amount of time, those 20 things werent more important than the one thing I did. Going back to my five steps to success above, number three is you put together your plan. Your plan must be broken down into what youre supposed to do every day, and your plan needs to be arranged in priority sequence. If youve got a plan, ask, What are the things that I need to work on first in this plan? What are the things I need to work on second? Then you need to make the decision, Im going to work on things in priority sequence, not Im going to work on things that I want to work on. The things that you dont want to do are the things that make you the most money. Thats how life works. Thats why I say of the thousand little things on my list, not one has a higher value to the market than discipline. Discipline is pushing yourself each day to do what you know you should do even when you dont feel like doing it. If you want to be successfuland this is number one on my listyouve got to put first things first. You have to make sure youre spending your time doing exactly what you predetermined you should be doing with your time today to be productive. It might mean that youre sitting there with your phone in your ear and youre making outgoing calls because you determined right now the absolute most important thing for you to achieve your goals is to prospect. If thats the case, then you stick the phone to your ear and you prospect.

I remember when I was getting started in my various careers, where I would sit at the phone all day and prospect. I remember there were days I made up to 300 phone calls. Why? Because that was what I should do today. I didnt sit there and say, Oh, Im going to redesign my brochure or Im going to make my website look better or Im going to make my business card look better. Im going to think through my presentation again, or Im going to work on my phone script. No, it was me picking up the phone with my heart beating out of my chest, making phone call after phone call after phone call after phone call. It was refining my approach. When people didnt do business with me, I always asked them why and I learned a lot by asking them why. Number two for being productive is working your to-do-list in priority sequence and pushing yourself to do the things that you know you should do without excuses and without justifying those excuses. You could say to yourself, Todays not a good day for me to make prospecting calls because its cloudy, or today is not a good day for me to make prospecting calls because Im a little tired. Im going to wait until tomorrow. This is what everybody says. This is what 99.9% of the people do. They make excuses for not doing what they know they should do, whether its eating right, whether its exercising, whether its prospecting. Whatever it is they know they should do, most people dont do itand thats why most people arent successful. You have to have a plan. That plan needs to be broken down into what you should be doing each day. You need to be executing that plan each day with excellence. You need to be looking at everything youre doing each day and saying, How can I do what Im doing better? and then making adjustments. As Chris indicated in the introduction, its the compounding effect of these little things. The first time youre focused on making equal eye contact with each person in the room, you may not be great at it, but if you work on it every time youre in a room of people, youre going to get a little bit better every time. Each time youre in a room like that youre saying to yourself, OK, Im going to be very deliberate in making sure everybody in this room feels included in the conversation. We all know we should remember names, but how many times do we remember a persons name? Its about being in the present. Its about being intentional, Im meeting somebody. I need to make sure I remember their name. Oh shoot, I forgot their name. Well, I have to get better tomorrow. Its about every day, pushing yourself to get better at the things that you know you should be doing. TakeawaysThe little things are the small, meaningful actions that make your clients like and respect you.Income follows value: You have to create higher value before you can create higher income.The five steps to success are: (1) Have a burning desire, (2) Build your knowledge, (3) Create a plan, (4) Execute the plan, (5) Refine.Success comes after a lot of hours!Each day make a to-do list with the one important thing you need to do.Dont procrastinate; do it even if you dont like it. The things that you dont want to do are the things that make you the most money.

What little things do you do to differentiate yourself in your market? Leave your questions and comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/todd-smith-interview

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How Adopting 7 Kids at Once Led Me to Launch My Real Estate Investing Career

The truth is that I did not get involved in real estate in a meaningful way until later in my life. I have been a chiropractic physician for 29 years, but Im really an entrepreneur at heart. I have started or purchased six multi-discipline medical clinics in my career and have been involved in a number of other businesses. None, however, have matched the combination of relative safety and potential returns afforded by real estate. Still, for some reason, I could never pull the trigger and launch my real estate investing career. Unfortunately I sat on the sidelines for a number of years. I hoped to get started but never did. Like many of you, I read Robert Kiyosakis Rich Dad Poor Dadand a few other real estate books, but it wasnt enough. Looking back now, I can point to several life events that lit a fire under me and finally got me off the bench and into the game. Over the past few years, I have flipped a couple houses, owned a small apartment complex, developed a large commercial retail strip center, syndicated a 125-door multifamily townhome complex, and am just finishing the co-syndication of a large self-storage deal. I am in my 50s and wish I had started earlier. No matter your age, though, if you are procrastinating like I did, hopefully you can use one or more of the following five steps to get started. 5 Steps to Launch Your Real Estate Career1. Find your passion. Twenty years ago, my wife and I became interested in adoption. We had two biological kids at the time and wanted to adopt a third child. While working with an organization that facilitated the adoption of Eastern European orphans, we heard about a sibling group of seven Russian children that the Russian government was going to split up and send to three different countries. My wife decided she would make it her personal mission to find a family that could keep these siblings from being separated. The idea of someone taking that many kids into their home blew us away, and we made a list of all of our friends and acquaintances that we thought might be able to afford such a monumental task. The Russian government announced they would be separating the children in a few months. As the date approached with no takers in sight, we began to ask ourselves if there was any way we could adopt them ourselves. Its a very long story, but fast forward to August of 1988. We were told at the U.S. Embassy that we had completed the single largest adoption in U.S./Russian history (at a single time). It was a big culture shock to bring seven Russian speaking kids into our home for sure. But the real shock was just around the corner when the financial reality of our decision began to hit home. Nine sets of clothing, nine bikes, nine soccer teams, nine college educations, nine weddingsyou get the picture. The financial pressure began to build. I rapidly set out on a course to produce more income. I started or purchased six different medical clinics. I developed anathletic club, which eventually grew to 1,500 members. I purchased a sports performance enhancement franchise. And we even started a coffee shop/deli. Some produced more cash flow than others, but the one problem all those businesses had in common was that they took immense amounts of my personal time. I was fairly successful at creating additional income, but I was killing myself. My family life was suffering. I quickly realized working 70-80 hours a week would not work. There are few things that I am more passionate about than my family, so I threw myself into a massive search for ways to create passive income. It was this search that eventually led me to real estate. You can do the same thing. Figure out what you are passionate about. Focus on the end results. Getfired up and use that passion to fuel your real estate dreams.

Related: If I Started My Real Estate Business Again Today, THIS is What Id Change 2. Harness fear. As humans, nothing makes us react quite like fear. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. There are literally hundreds of types of fears and phobiasfear of pain, of disease, of injury, of tight spaces, of rejection, and of failure, to name a few. People will do just about anything to avoid their fears. If they are forced to face fear, they go into fight or flight mode or they are paralyzed by fear and do nothing at all. Fortunately, a random encounter with a couple of patients changed my investing mindset forever. It was March 6, 2009, and the stock market was in the final throes of its great crash. I walked into a treatment room, and there sat a patient with tears streaming down his face. It was odd because this was a big burly guy who had just retired from a local factory and was a pretty tough character. I soon found out he was not crying because of his back or neck pain but because he had just lost almost all of his retirement savings in the stock market. Apparently, this gentleman had taken his retirement payments as a lump sum and had recently dumped it all in the market. As he sat on my exam table, he explained how in a few short days, he had lost more than 70 percent of his retirement savings, and those savings had taken him 40 years to amass! I am not usually at a loss for words, but nothing in my medical training could have prepared me for that moment. A couple of days later, I was seeing another patient. Mrs. Smith (not her real name) was a 50-something retired school teacher and seemed to be in a better mood than normal. I noticed her cheerfulness and asked her why she seemed so happy. She went on to explain how she and her husband had taken all of their retirement funds out of the stock market about a year previously and had used the funds to buy rental property. Their rentals were leased, and frankly, they were really enjoying retirement. Fortunate to have gotten out of the market when they did, this new landlord was not affected by the downturn in the markets at all. I had really never trusted the stock market. I mean, with the almost-daily headlines of one major bank after another caught cheating their clients or gaming the system somehow, this ladys message really hit home with me. Even so, I had always been too afraid of missing out on that once-in-a-lifetime Amazon or Microsoft stock pick to shift my investing away from the stock market. Right then and there, it finally hit home. When it came to real estate, I was afraid to make a mistake that would cost me money. Since I was not sure when or where to start, I just sat doing nothing for years. I had analysis paralysis, but I realized I was much more scared of ending up like my first patient, crying in a doctors office somewhere having lost the majority of my retirement. I finally made a commitment that real estate would be my investment vehicle of choice. 3. Find your motivation. A few years back, an MRI revealed I had a torn rotator cuff, torn labrum, and arthritis in my shoulder. Decades of occupational abuse and years of chasing baseball scholarships had taken their toll. My orthopedic physician announced I could either give up my chiropractic career immediately, or in about four years, I would need a shoulder replacement. Suddenly, I was heading toward for an untimely retirement. I was shocked. I had dedicated the last 29 years of my life to helping people heal. My entire identity was tied up in being a healthcare provider. At the same time, Obamacare was rapidly eroding away my practice of two-plus decades. I had no idea what I would do, but knew I needed a plan and needed one quick. After much angst and a considerable amount of prayer, I decided it was time to jump in with both feet. I still have a medical practice, but am working full-time on a plan to exit healthcare as soon as possible. Even though I didnt recognize it at the time, life circumstances helped me find my motivation. Each individual has their own unique mix of life experiences and desires that fuel their drive for success. For some, its the thought of a penniless retirement. For others, it is the commitment to never let their children grow up in poverty (like they did). Some people say that success is a lake home or traveling the world. Others have an altruistic motivation to give back to those less fortunate. There are 1,001 books on ramping up personal motivation. For me, however, it boils down to a very simple concept: Focusing on my goals 10 times more than I focus on the roadblocks. Every time I run up against what seems like an insurmountable roadblock, I pull out my list of goals and focus on what I want to accomplish. Time spent focusing on what matters most turbocharges my motivation levels. The roadblocks seem to work themselves out. Whats your motivation? Related: How to Jumpstart Your Investing Career as a Multifamily Deal Finder 4. Hire a mentor. Every athlete from t-ball to the big leagues has a coach. They need someone they can learn from who is more experienced. Someone who knows the ins and outs of the game. Its no different in real estate. If you are serious about learning the craft, you need to find someone to teach you the ropes. When I finally got serious, I hired a mentor. I knew if I spent my hard-earned money on a program, I would take it seriously. There are lots of mentors and training programs on BiggerPockets. For me, I knew the more expensive the program, the more commitment I was likely to have. I am not talking about a weekend seminar with a few handouts. I chose a company called 37th Parallel Properties. Their program is a comprehensive year-long mentorship. It includes visits to real assets across the country (much like getting an MBA in multifamily investing). Dont get me wrongnot everyone needs to pay for a mentor, but dont attempt to go it alone. Learn from someone elses mistakes. Its one of the many reasons I am such a big fan of BiggerPockets. You can learn so much just by hanging out in the community and reading the advice of experienced investors. Whether you hope to invest in single family homes, self-storage units, large multifamily communities, or mobile home parks, there is always someone with expertise willing to share.

5.Leverage the experience of others. Maybe you dont need to change careers like me. Maybe you just want to use commercial real estate to turbocharge your portfolio. Maybe you just want to be a passive investor and have very little interest in toilets, tenants, and trash. If you are an accredited or sophisticated investor, syndicated deals may be the best approach for you. Some companies offer syndicated real estate investments. They specialize in sourcing lucrative real estate assets and packaging them up for passive investors. They typically underwrite the project, perform all due diligence, line up debt, and complete the purchase. The companies then operate and oversee these assets so that their investors can realize great profits minus the headaches. Choosing a company that you feel comfortable with is the key to any syndicated investment. While it is a much quicker way to jump into the fray, be careful! Take your time and choose the specific deal and syndicator carefully. Ask lots of questions and always check references. So, what is holding you back? Whats it going to take to get you off the sidelines? Dont procrastinate like I did! Hey, if an old chiropractor can do it

What motivation led to your first investment? What did your journey there look like? Take a moment to share what it took to make your first real estate investment! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/seven-child-adoption-launch-real-estate-career