#I JUST DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS STUFF IT DOESNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW WELL OR BAD IM DOING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ganondoodle · 15 hours

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(elden ring DLC spoilers)

i fucking love Radahn so much, what i wouldnt give to meet ACTUAL him, he just gets toyed with and exploited so cruelly, you never really get to know him or what he wants im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so normal :)

like i know theres little to go by with typical fromsoft lore and stuff but agreeing to marry miquelly feels so ... not radahn like, why would he have fought malenia and then even after gettign the rot refuse to die if he wanted that .... also didnt he believe in the golden order?? miquella wanted to replace it basically????-

even his 'new' design feels like some idealized version of him that miquella dreamed up, theres significant differences in whats left of radahn in the main game and i feel like even that is an important detail (the braids ... i braids are IMPORTANT IM TELLING YOU-) like it .... to some degrees looks ..almost cheap, like an action figure (what the hell are all those sword things on his belt?? he has his two giant blades that dont go in that??? he would never use a different one?? whats it doing here??) (also the fact that leonard is missing .... like sure we like to over emphasize some character quirks but i also feel like thats and important thing- leonard clearly meant alot to him and he had him still with him when he was fighting malenia and stayed together even after rotting away)

what really REALLY makes me so very "normal" about everything is that radahn remains voiceless and has no say in anythign the entire time we meet him, hes either a zombie or a literally flesh puppet constructed by his own half brother (out of another family member, which clearly shows bc hes using blood magic and got horns growing)- aside from very few quotes on some items we never get to know him, we dont know what he wanted, he gets dragged into this and is then like some animated statue, theres no emotion in his face, even less sound he makes when fighting, even, in my opinion, his animation in the final DLC fight seem OFF to me- it looks stiff how hes moving whenever hes not actively attacking

(also miquella and what he wants is constantly talked about, but while its all about radahn in a way . we never hear anything from radahns side, its never even questioned. as far as i know, like !!!!! argh!!!)

(edit: also also the fact that in this puppet version of the design changes arent just the armor, his skin is different color too, even in the trailer when he fights malenia- BEFORE the rot- he seemed sort of ashy- greyish dark, even if hard to tell with color tint- his hair much longer in og now much shorter and in braids, his armor less practical and more show offy, he doesnt have a bow, even his swords look different, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY his weird anatomy he seems to have in og that i think is from renalla is gone too- AND yes i know his body is constructed from moghs there- which makes this all so much worse bc almost all that was him is stripped away and twisted into what miquella wants from him, second phase its almost all light attacks tooo- ok im stopping this now)

i know it might seem like im just making excuses bc i cant handle my favorite character agreeing to marry his own half brother- BUT I DONT CARE- HE DIDNT WANT IT- WE DONT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS- WE NEVER GET TO ASK HIM- HE NEVER GETS TO SPEAK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDJKBHKFJBGSKBVGFHDKBFKABKBA

#ganondoodles talks #elden ring #elden ring spoilers #elden ring DLC spoilers #the remix of his OST im going NUTS #my eyes are unblinkly glued to the screen #watchign a stream of the final fight #and i feel like a teen watching their crush perform at sports #(or how i imagine it)#and at the same time filled with grief an hate bc hes done so DIRTY #get your grabby little hands off him miquella #how hes hanging around him im AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH #like an actual puppet master its creepy and possesive if you know the context #im less upset with the DLC btw #if anything it has strenghtend my love for radahn but in SPITE of it #i got my wish to see him less zombie like BUT AT WHAT COST #im gonna CRY #im so normal normal normal #how can a stupid video game character do this to me #FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #..................i would like to be hugged by radahn though #i want to see him in his prime BUT HIM THE REAL ONE #with leonard- with his own will and wits #i want to chew through concrete

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reel-fear · 22 days

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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

#batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #ramblez #bendy and the silent city #bendy the cage #for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old #very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some #of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource #if you want more info n such #long post #mike D #for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore #sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd #I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later #or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast #genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things #n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming #people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance #Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin #it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy #devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is #and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to #stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better #it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out #just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently #anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD

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sonknuxadow · 6 months

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you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care

#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly #but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know #what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them.#what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role #but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned #maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age?#silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry #considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad.#i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents #espio i dont really question as much #becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life #or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know #but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive #i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though #because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff #to be clear im talking about game canon #i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members #or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing

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hauntingblue · 24 days

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Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci

#can i say maybe i dont like where this is going bc i dont like the priest. like why not have dio do all this. i have to endure his boring #self while not having any motivation bc i still dont know why he wants to do all this bc that backstory doesnt justify anything #while dio is in the background and he has a motive to hate the joestars and create a world without them. idk #this is like light and near but unjustified #i would have prefered the priest resurrecting dio in some strange way than him doing all this i think #and i still dont like his powers ☝🏻 they dont make sense to me and the evolution doesnt either. how can you just flip stands.#also his rant about how he killed all his enemies... josuke and giorno are out there now lmao #retracting my statement they changed the opening but just this last episode #i do like the destiny stuff like the same thing happens in a new world bc of necessity and the whole plot has been about things happening #because it needs to happen but why does this reset need to happen??? why does pucci want it?? so everyone can be happy?? why??#literally nothing that happened to him has been the joestars fault. dio brainwashed him? ok SHOW IT #like the plot is okay but the priest doing all this makes no sense it could be anyone at this point #okay i get it now destiny is like gravity.... but his stands changing makes no sense still. the disc thing got out bc of the plant baby. ok #but the gravity just changed to something else entirely??? to time??#he kept repeating time and space but a space stand would be the hand. gravity is something else entirely #its not like velocity>acceleration or star platinum and the world velocity>time. that makes sense #gravity and time is like my stand makes anything into ice cream and then it makes things disappear #rant at this point but yeah #okay control. the priest wants to know exactly what is going to happen at all times to be prepared and evolve?? and why would dio want this?#weather report...... i mean it was meant to be #yeaaahhh emporio roast him #irene and anakiss ajdhaisjaisjakakakak #i might be crying but this doesnt change my pucci criticisms #the ending song..... incredible choice #i think i liked golden wind too much and i cant control myself and not compare #but pucci doesnt make sense to me here apart from being a priest and wanting to fulfill 'god's' purpose or whatever that means #so now there is a new world but with joestars but they dont have stands?? or just pucci doesn't exist (or dio)#so just the prison gang doesnt get them. but ermes didnt go to prison either. idk #talking tag #watching jojo

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spamtoon · 2 months

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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay

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perilegs · 2 months

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i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was #a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans #i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that #but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute #i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way #but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my #wavy hair and slight babyface and round features #which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man #as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this #though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c #well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow #also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which #once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans #the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy #oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute #face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man #and i love that #but also one of these ppl is not cis #if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people #but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans #but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im #living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow #but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship #i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared #agh idk #leevi talks

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zappedbyzabka · 5 months

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Robby loves Johnny (and I don’t believe he wants him dead or anything, though he definitely has understandable resentment) and I think Johnny would die for him in an instant. If the next season doesn’t show this more and give Robby some peace, then the writers are dead to me because they really only have this season now. Also, show his feelings about Shannon’s actions too (making him listen to her have sex, bringing creepy men around, letting him starve, etc) rather than just being like “She had free rehab so its cool!”

(I’m not open to argue about this, so genuinely please don’t get mad at my feelings <3.)

#I say the doesnt want him dead thing because I see a lot of people say that😂 totally fine to have that idea. I’m just saying my piece <3 #MY opinion #Not saying no one can have theirs or anything #I do disagree though. so let that be known to any askers before they talk about that stuff to me 🫶#I’ve been worried about the season🫠#show Writers why act like everything’s good with them both #Seems they dont know how people actually go about things #Both bad parents. Both redeemable. Both deserve grace. Writers let Robby have attention and everyone get their nose out of Shannon’s ass #Just in my own bad experiences. my dad was less there and my mom had parties in our small place with drunks. Guess who I’m more mad at :)#Was mad. Not anymore

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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years

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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

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saturnsuv · 1 year

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update <3

#in case anyone remembers the saga about the guy i’d been talking to for like a week then made out with then he promptly ghosted me despite #having given one of those ‘even if it doesnt work out i still want to be friends’ claims and all my additional choosing insanity over it #well. finally got one of my friends to go to the restaurant he works at with me #also keep in mind that that stuff happened in like november we literally havent spoken in months i am just choosing to continue being #insane bc i think i deserve to #anyway. so my friend and i go to the restaurant and unfortunately he isnt there #but before we leave i ask the waitress hey um do you happen to have a coworker named [redacted]#and she was like oh yeah is he a friend of yours? :) and my friend says no. and i say …. i know him #waitress can tell that i dont mean i know him in a good way too. she laughs and says it seems like theres a story here but she doesnt ask #anything further. instead she proceeds to tell me his fucking work schedule ajdjsjjfkf #she was like yeah he worked this morning he usually works thursday mornings then all weekend :)#so shes my new hero #idk if this guy has also gotten himself on bad terms with her or if she just knows what hes like or if she just understood the implication #of an irritated girl coming in asking after a guy bc she ‘knows him’#but she rly understood the assignment. anyway im in love with her now <3 #OMG i almost forgot the best part. after telling me this she asks do you want me to give him a message and i saw yes i sure would. tell him #sam said hi :)#anyway i will be dragging my friend back there with me at the end of the month on a weekend to continue antagonizing this specific asshole #sam speaks

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iwantabatlleaxe · 2 years

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Vent in the tags my beloved OMG THE LIMIT IS 30 TAGS NOW??

#im upset bc my boyfriend made a joke w a really sexist 'slogan'#he used quem cala consente which means who doesnt say anything is consenting which is just... i hate it so much #ive heard this so many times throughout my life and my teachers would say it frequently when it's about excusing rape #he said he wouldn't do it anymore bc I was uncomfortable but that + my gender journey + his red flags of anger issues are just... too much #for me rn. i feel stuck to him in a social context. i just wanna be myself #i hate the idea that guys are misogynists and stuff. i really want to believe my group friend isn't- and they've proved over and over that #they arent but this joke really upset me for some reason.#im tired.#also good news! i got a cane in case I have leg pain until my next appointment!#but uh. my bf kinda joked about that too.#it isnt as bad as it sounds #actually no im tired as fuck #i miss him only when I'm in need of uhm. comfort if u know what I mean #and the way he keeps saying ily makes it hard to break up. its not like i dont have reason to but still #i wanna be with him... but in this moment its hard. im. trans. and hes straight. he's straight. and I wanna be in a relationship with #someone who gets me. respecting is the minimum but I wanna be with someone who I can talk to about being trans without explaining #or- oh fuck home is playing rn. im emotional #i love him. hes great. but he has some red flags i dont want to ignore #i know he wouldnt do anything bad to me- he's always extra careful and respects my bodily boundries but I need this space for myself #what a shitty situation #im having a heartbreak?#i dont even. know anymore.#home just ended playing and a tear broke #also he keeps making jokes about me breaking up w him in like two weeks bc he keeps making shitty jokes #none are ever sexist/anyphobic #he loves and he loves with his full being and I just don't think i can handle that. i love with my fingertips then hands he loves with his #blood and smile and it's a lot #fuck #.#vent

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scentofpines · 8 days

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my brother visited us today and OH MY GOD AM I GLAD HE'S FINALLY GONE. i cant pinpoint exactly what it is about him but i find him so hard to deal with. he seems very "unproblematic" for lack of a better word and chill and nice etc. but he is also kind of a control freak (in a subtle way) and VERY patronizing and he always inquires (not asks lmao) how i am doing and i always dread this question bc he just won't let it be when i say i'm fine and always sorta wants me to pour my heart out to him?? And I. just dont want to??? Lol. Like today he asked again "how are you?" and I said I'm pretty good BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WAS OK I WAS FEELING WELL and then he was like "yeah? really?" in a very questioning voice ughhhhh. i fucking hate this, it also just feels kind of devalueing to my progress. like i'm having a fairly good time and then there's this dude basically reminding me that i'm supposed to be depressed bc i guess that's just my personality. this doubting thing he always does just pisses me off so bad.

and then later we were just completely casually chill chatting together with my mom and out of fucking nowhere he was like "so what about therapy for you?" and I thought i didn't hear him correctly and I was like????? What the hell are you talking about? And then he just kept saying that i should try therapy again and i was very confused bc it came so suddenly and also i am currently absolutely not planing on doing a therapy. i had my share of experiences with therapists and i'm just not up to it right now. but he was very pressuring like "it could really help you" etc. and kept saying all this shite as if i myself have actually NEVER thought about this. (he is like this very often, for example when my mom and i talk about how we are planning on moving to south west france in the future, he is always like "do you know how complicated it is to move to another country??? do you know how hard it is to take care of a farm???? do you know they speak french there????? do you have brains?" SHUT UUUUPPP) and the thing is when i push back then and voice my opinion of not wanting to do this or, like in the "how r u" situation, insist on being fucking FINE or even just saying or heavily implying that i do not want to talk about this stuff with him it ALWAYS makes me look like i have an even bigger problem because 1) i "lie" about how i'm doing 2) i don't open up about my feelings to anyone 3) i am an idiot that refuses therapy. HE ALWAYS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THIS with the the way he speaks to me.

I know he means well but it just feels extremely annoying, nosy and infantilizing.

#also he just doesnt keep shit to himself #like if i were to tell him about how i am doing he would tell everyone else bc he'd be like “this isnt anything bad/shameful etc.” and i #mean i'm also fine with being fairly open about stuff like the alcoholic in our family etc. we dont have any weird family secrets that no #one is allowed to talk about. i also think stuff like that is stupid af and only causes more drama in the long run #but when my sister for example talks to me about some more private stuff i....just dont go around telling it to ppl??#without her specifically asking me not to??#and i guess if i were to tell my brother that he shouldnt tell others he would obide that BUT this would again make me out to be #doing way worse than i actually am like desperately asking him not to share my mental state with others #I JUST DONT WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS STUFF IT DOESNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW WELL OR BAD IM DOING #just like i dont want to talk to anyone from my family about sex lmao or how i wont talk about idk my acne to the waitress #i get to decide who i want to talk to about what #and its fine to ask ppl questions like this to show you care but when you feel they dont want to FUCKING LEAVE IT BE #it's ok to make it known that you are open to talking about this stuff with someone without lowkey pressuring/guilt tripping them into it #personal

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xxlonelym00ng1rlxx · 1 month

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"i'm probably way smarter than you" boy you completely lack emotional intelligence and have no comprehension of even the most basic psychology so i really doubt that but sure whatever makes you feel better