#just like i dont want to talk to anyone from my family about sex lmao or how i wont talk about idk my acne to the waitress
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scentofpines · 6 months ago
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my brother visited us today and OH MY GOD AM I GLAD HE'S FINALLY GONE. i cant pinpoint exactly what it is about him but i find him so hard to deal with. he seems very "unproblematic" for lack of a better word and chill and nice etc. but he is also kind of a control freak (in a subtle way) and VERY patronizing and he always inquires (not asks lmao) how i am doing and i always dread this question bc he just won't let it be when i say i'm fine and always sorta wants me to pour my heart out to him?? And I. just dont want to??? Lol. Like today he asked again "how are you?" and I said I'm pretty good BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WAS OK I WAS FEELING WELL and then he was like "yeah? really?" in a very questioning voice ughhhhh. i fucking hate this, it also just feels kind of devalueing to my progress. like i'm having a fairly good time and then there's this dude basically reminding me that i'm supposed to be depressed bc i guess that's just my personality. this doubting thing he always does just pisses me off so bad.
and then later we were just completely casually chill chatting together with my mom and out of fucking nowhere he was like "so what about therapy for you?" and I thought i didn't hear him correctly and I was like????? What the hell are you talking about? And then he just kept saying that i should try therapy again and i was very confused bc it came so suddenly and also i am currently absolutely not planing on doing a therapy. i had my share of experiences with therapists and i'm just not up to it right now. but he was very pressuring like "it could really help you" etc. and kept saying all this shite as if i myself have actually NEVER thought about this. (he is like this very often, for example when my mom and i talk about how we are planning on moving to south west france in the future, he is always like "do you know how complicated it is to move to another country??? do you know how hard it is to take care of a farm???? do you know they speak french there????? do you have brains?" SHUT UUUUPPP) and the thing is when i push back then and voice my opinion of not wanting to do this or, like in the "how r u" situation, insist on being fucking FINE or even just saying or heavily implying that i do not want to talk about this stuff with him it ALWAYS makes me look like i have an even bigger problem because 1) i "lie" about how i'm doing 2) i don't open up about my feelings to anyone 3) i am an idiot that refuses therapy. HE ALWAYS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THIS with the the way he speaks to me.
I know he means well but it just feels extremely annoying, nosy and infantilizing.
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taegularities · 2 years ago
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Hey rid, hope you're doing fine, soooo I've been thinking about this for a while now and I feel like I want to share it with you now, I was like really thinking of a fic/genre? Like online dating with loads and loads of angst and fluff? And I'm not talking about smauS, something like, the main characters meeting in a game? ( pretty realistic yep ik😂) with a snarky/mean reader and a soft..very soft/ emotional/ romanticist/ understanding basically husband material MC ( I feel like jk or v would suite this character but it could anyone) the oc is a bitch from outside but she's just as soft perhaps even more than the MC, all in all she's a nice and good character and that's why our perfect fell for her, he's also not a fuckboy or anything rarely dated anyone, oc does not have enough experience in sex, MC doesn't either but he's better than the oc, something like they grow and learn everything together, Falling in love, everything, angst could be related to both of their families? Like thy both have fucked up families the OCs mother is very mean but very protective over her ( oh and oc has 2 older sisters aswell) MC is sick of his dad, his dad is extremely mean to him aswell, the only best thing in their life is their relationship s sort of another world for them, where he's extremely affectionate to her and she's a meanie but also extremely affectionate to him aswell (the oc also has some health issues and she's always like sick, but he even love that about her, he loves everything about her, her sickness, her being mean, and a bitch, and also when she's showering her with love but that's a rarity given she's not used to showing affection, but he knows it, he can see when she's overly concerned when he gets sick or when he's having a bad day she would go out of her way to do anything for him, spend the whole day gaming with him eventhough she sucks at it or talking to him on call talking about random things eventhough she's not very talkative, basically very very fluffy and just lovey dovey) so yeah lmao u can say I've really thought about this..and I'm feel like you would give this fic justice, you're the only writer that came to mind who I can trust this fic with, but there's really mo pressure here, just a suggestion, and even if you chose not to make it in a fic that's completely okay aswell, Maybe that'll be my go to write a fic of my own lmao, I'm no writer by any chance it's just that I really really want to bring this fic into existence, AND I WANT STRESS ON THE FACT THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU DONT WANT TO ITS COMPLETELY OKAY TO NOT WANT TO, THERES NO PRESSURE AT ALL AND NO BAD FEELINGS, LIKE AT ALL SO DONT FEEL BAD, (uk just in case)
hey lovely, i'm so sorry i'm so late, i promise i wasn't ignoring you jashdajkd i hope you've been all well !!! that's a cute idea 😭 idk why i'm always drawn to those cocky yet soft male characters, but i'd love to work with a pure, innocent, simp-y lil boy once.
ahhh, i definitely won't have time to write this, though, and i don't do requests; especially very specific ones mess up my creativity :') (can barely write my own stuff these days tbh 😭) BUT i would love to see this fic happen if anyone else wrote it or even you wrote it !! 🥺 that'd be a great opportunity for you, if you ever wanna try. it sounds sweet !! <33
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skiasurveys · 2 years ago
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Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? not wearing pants Do you find smoking unattractive? no, but like sometimes seeing a man with a cigar or a cig just looks hot but the actual act..isnt lol Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Nope, i dont think so Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? probably but I would def miss it Is there someone you’ll never forget?
yes
Do you miss someone right now?
Yes. Last time you were on the phone? like a few days ago (if u mean like phone call) Do you get distracted easily? yes i have adhd
Have your parents ever caught you drinking? im an adult so Do you think flirting is cheating? yeah
Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? no
Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? Mom Is your room messy or clean? pretty clean except for one pair of shorts on the floor that im too lazy to move rn to put away.
Do you drink tea? not really. 
Wish you could be somewhere else right now? yes, but im okay right What are you listening to right now? im watching a movie! Where did you get your last bruise from? i dont know, i always get them randomly. Are you looking forward to anything? the next episode of the last of us. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? im not sure
Whose house where you last at? Kyras
When someone says ‘we need to talk’, what do you think: i fucked up
Tell me what’s on your mind? school. im tired. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? physically, yes  Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah, pretty good How much money did you spend today? None Can you see a cat from where you’re sitting? yes :3 hes right in my lap, under my macbook lol Who was your last text from? my sister What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? nothing tbh What’s been upsetting you lately? schoooool. im tireddddd Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? nah
Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? ummm..yes lmao
Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? couch
Does it take a lot to make you cry? nope, i cry easy
Do you have a dog? no i am allergic Do you like to wear pants? kinda, but i prefer shorts How many people do you trust fully? no one When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? use my phone lol What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: yellow! What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? no idea Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? hardly. im lucky if i get 5 Ever like someone older than you? always What’s your favorite amusement park? disneyland
Are you cold at this very moment? nah. kinda warm. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? it really depends, i rather people do the talking but it depends where i am Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? connor, alan, almost any man How many hours of sleep do you need to function? like 5
What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? i dont know...lol What’s one fear are you most paranoid about? never being happy. always struggling. Have you ran into an old friend recently? nope Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? always Could you go a whole year without cursing? nope.  Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? tv, i hardly watch tv, and besides now everything u can do on the computer so Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? yeah As of this minute, what is going through your mind? school is rly the only thing, and this movie Does anyone know your password besides you? no Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? i dont think so Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? i can be, but sometimes im not... Could you go a day without eating? yeah, and i have (not tryna sound cool) but yk Honestly, are things going the way you planned? no..but theyre going better than i expect Are you a forgiving person? No, I wish I was but i just hold onto it. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? lol yes What is something you disliked about today? I felt sick for the 68588559th time. but that was it.
When’s the last time you had a headache? last week, they were bad. Is there anything that you are craving right now? no What was the first thing you thought of this morning? about how I had class this morning but it ended up getting canceled. What part of your body hurts right now? none, besides my skin feels a little itchy Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? oh pedro pascal pls What is something that you realized today? i realized i did my assignment wrong, but I figured it out real fast Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? not rly. Do you remember who your first crush was? I really dont. ive always liked someone but i remember one of them being this kid named Austin Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? yup Have you ever cried from being so mad? always What’s a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? eagles Do you have a bad temper? i have bpd lol How many wives or husbands do you want? just one...please lmao What’s the closest pink object to you? my waterbottle  Do you consider yourself lucky? ..yeah i do actually. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? my bra, sleep shorts and my bag Do you trust anyone? no What’s your favorite color gummy bear? red i think What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Puss in Boots If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? connor Wish you could be somewhere else right now? kinda What color is your iPod? i dont use it anymore, but it was white What should you be doing right now? nothing Do you like roller coasters? yeah! One famous guy you would marry in an instance? pedro pascal
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biggest-stupidhead · 4 years ago
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Heyy!!
I dont think there's such think as semen donors in aot cannon?
BUT WHAT IF Captain Levi agrees to be the donor to squad leader (or just cadet) reader in a platonic relationship/eventual romance?
Just cute ackerbabies!
Lmao you’re probably right, no semen donors in canonverse. But I honestly love this idea so much, I feel like it would be hard for Levi to make that romantic connection so I could see him making that choice, and maybe it developing into something more!
Summary: Levi can’t wait any longer to start a family, and you are willing to take that step with him.
Word Count: 1.7K
__
You choked on the small sip of tea that you had taken. Catching the small drops of liquid that had escaped your lips.
“Come again now?” You managed to form words after a moment, Levi seemed uninterested as always, those charcoal grey eyes dull and apathetic.
“You heard me just fine, you know that I hate repeating myself.” He scoffed as he shifted so that his leg was crossed over his opposite knee,
“Yes I heard you but....marriage?” You were shocked to say the least. Levi had never shown any prior interest in any long term relationship with anyone, although the two of you had hooked up a handful of times.
“I don’t see why not. We already share a room, not to mention that we-”
“Okay I get it, just...it’s a big commitment and I’m not sure that I’m-”
“Oh please, what else do we have to look forward to anymore? No more fighting, no more political issues to deal with might as well settle down and...” He trailed off, his gaze cast downwards into his cup of tea, which was probably cold by now. You sighed deeply, placing your cup down gently and leaning back into the sofa that the two of you were seated on. His arm was slung casually across the back of the sofa, his finger tips ghosting over your shoulder.
“I know but Levi...marriage?” you were a bit disappointed. He had said it so casually, as if he was asking you if you wanted to run to the market to grab apples.
“If you don’t want to then just say no.” He snapped, clearly getting frustrated, he rose to his feet and began to march towards his desk. You chased after him, catching his wrist. You knew it was difficult for him to express himself, to put things lightly or being considerate to your feelings.
“It’s not that...I’m just a little caught off guard.” You admitted as you held his wrist gently. He let out a breath that he had seemed to have been holding in, he turned and laced his fingers through yours, his other hand diving into his pant pocket. You waited patiently for him to say something, but he only pulled out a small black box. Your heart skipped a beat, this was more how you had pictured being proposed to. He fell onto his knee and opened the box slowly, revealing a modest silver ring with a small diamond embedded in the ring.
“Oh Levi...” Your fingers were still laced with his as he knelt down, you squeezed his hand affectionately.
“I already bought the damn ring, just say yes.” He grunted, averting his gaze as his thumb glided over your knuckle.
“You have a point there.” You chuckled as you gave him a small nod, which was enough of a yes for him.
__
You were married by the end of the month, a simple court house wedding with Armin and Mikasa as your witnesses. Afterwards you had gone home and eaten dinner as usual. Just another week, except now the sex that you and Levi occasionally had, became a hell of a lot more regular. You had no complaints, or at least that was until you were hunched over the kitchen sink puking your guts out. You had missed your period as well, and it didn’t take a genius to know what that meant. You decided to wait until you were certain to tell anyone this however, seeing how difficult pregnancy could be, and the unlikeliness of carrying to full term seemed high.
So you made sure to go to the doctor twice before telling Levi that you were pregnant. He’d had a very similar reaction that you’d had when he had asked to marry you.
He choked on his tea, his hand flying to his chin to catch the liquid.
“Pregnant?” He repeated, and you nodded, leaning against the table where he was sitting.
“H-How long until...”
“Give or take seven months.” You shrugged, trying to put on a brave face, after seeing how frazzled he was you wanted to make this as casual as the rest of your relationship.
“So...we should probably start cleaning out that spare room and-” You cut him off by kneeling down and placing a chaste kiss to his lips.
“We’ve got plenty of time for that, for now let’s just...enjoy not being responsible for a helpless shitty baby.” You said softly as you slowly sank onto his lap. He hummed his approval, but still seemed rightfully on edge.
“We can start cleaning the room in few weeks, there’s no rush.” You assured him as you scattered kisses across his sour face.
“I’ll start tomorrow.” Levi hummed as he tilted his head to the side.
__
Turned out that you were both in way over your head. Around 12 weeks into your pregnancy Hange was pressing her stethoscope to your rapidly swelling belly when she froze. Levi tensed when he noticed this, and you frowned.
“What is it?” Levi asked as he gripped the back of the exam table.
“Nothing’s wrong...just-”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Levi scowled as he watched Hange continue to feel around your stomach.
“That’s cause it isn’t nothing, I’m hearing two heart beats.” Hange told you as she stood to her full height.
“Two heart beats?” You felt feint at the news, you had known that twins ran in your family but you had never expected to have them yourself.  
“Yes, it appears that you are having twins” Hange said with a wide smile as she folded up the stethoscope. Your vision blurred, the worry that you had been experiencing prior to the appointment had doubled along with the number of children you were having. 
“No shit.” Levi replied breathily as he held your shoulder firmly. 
“If I were you guys I’d go clean out that room now.” Hange advised as she cleaned up the space that you had been using as a makeshift exam room in her office. 
“I’ll get right on that.” Levi said, shooting you a concerned look as he helped you up onto your feet. 
__
The twins were born premature, the labor itself wasn’t nearly as bad as you had expected. But you realized that it wasn’t that bad because of how small they were. The only reason that they both survived was thanks to the Marleyan medical equipment that had been shipped over courtesy of Zeke and Yelena. You and Levi spent countless hours in the hospital as you awaited for the twins to be discharged. In that window of time you decided on names, it was difficult but you decided on Harrison and Harper. You weren’t surprised to find that they both took after their father, dark bluish grey eyes with a full head of black hair. The one thing they seemed to have gotten from you was your facial structure and your complexion. 
It was a massive relief to bring them home, now instead of staying up until the wee hours in the hospital you could do it in the comfort of your own home. 
One particular evening you were walking laps with Harrison, gently patting his back as you bounced off of your heels as he cried. On your third lap around the entire cottage, you peeked into the nursery to see Levi reclined on the rocker with Harper fast asleep. His eyes were closed, his naked chest rising and falling evenly as he slept. You envied him as you rubbed circles on Harrison’s back once more. His cries slowly died out and you managed to drag yourself to your bed and place Harrison down gently. Using the extra pillows, you managed to make a small barrier between him and yourself as well as the edge of the bed. It wasn’t often that you got to do this, seeing as you usually slept with Levi. But Harrison seemed content with laying in his dad’s spot for the night. His big blue eyes were watching your hair sway over his face as you adjusted the pillows. He cooed and babbled for a few minutes before falling silent, his tiny breaths putting you at ease. 
It couldn’t have been but an hour later when the sound of Harper crying woke you once more. Levi was pacing around the same way that you had been earlier before he finally managed to put her at ease. He returned to your room to see you sitting up, Harrison fast asleep at your side. 
“Care to join us?” You asked, voice gruff with sleep, or rather the lack there of. 
“Would I ever.” Levi groaned as he placed Harper in the pillow barrier with Harrison who was still fast asleep. He managed to squeeze onto the bed, laying on his side like you were as the two of you watched Harper sooth herself into sleep. His gaze left the small baby in favor of studying your features. 
“What would you have done if I had never asked you to marry me?” The question caught you off guard, your fingers were tracing the soft features of your babies. You hummed in thought but the answer was already on the tip of your tongue. 
“I’d have asked you to marry me.” You said with a wry smile and Levi rolled his eyes at your cheesy reply. 
“That’s not what I meant...well not really.” Levi grumbled, you paused again in thought. What would you have done? Certainly no more military work, that chapter was over for you. 
“Maybe I’d open a bakery. My grandmother left me all of her recipes. What would you do?” You asked, finger running along the soft dark locks of hair that were growing from Harrison’s head. 
“I’d open a tea shop.” Levi answered quickly, his own gaze back on the babies, his hand resting on Harper’s stomach, rising and falling with her breathing. 
“Why don’t we just say fuck it and do it?” You asked, not sure if you were serious or if it was the lack of sleep talking. 
“There was that space for lease last time we went into town...” Levi offered thoughtfully. 
“Yeah, we could fix it up and open a cafe.” You said excitedly as you leaned over the sleeping babies in hopes of coaxing a kiss from Levi. He nodded in agreement before leaning over and planting a kiss to your lips. 
“We’ll talk about it in the morning. Go to sleep.” Levi sighed as he stretched out on his side, and closing his eyes. You smiled and mirrored him, your hand resting on Harrison’s stomach now as well, your fingertips brushing his. 
You knew that you’d made the right choice. Marrying Levi was the best decision that you’d made in a long time. It may not look like the typical love story, but you knew that it was real, realer than most relationships. And you wouldn’t want to have it with anyone else. 
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oliviamillss · 4 years ago
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reading dreams chart
im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao
**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**
sun:
sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 
sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.
sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.
sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.
sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.
moon:
moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao
moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg
moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.
moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 
mercury:
mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 
mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.
mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.
mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*
mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator
mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)
venus:
venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 
venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 
venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’
venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 
venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 
mars:
mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.
mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.
mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss
mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.
mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 
mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.
jupiter
jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.
jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.
jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.
saturn:
saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?
saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo
saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn
saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 
uranus: 
uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 
uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.
uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 
neptune:
neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.
neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.
neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 
pluto:
pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.
north node:
north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.
chiron:
chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)
lilith:
lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 
lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.
lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming
moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 
 i ought to mention!!
there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.
summary!!!
basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.
im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol
hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3
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multiplefandomsblog · 4 years ago
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V3 boys accidentally knocking up their s/o in the killing game
desc; how the v3 boys would act if they found they knocked you up during the killing game.
warnings; fem!reader, pregnant!reader, sexual comments, cussing, mentions of sex, mild mild spoilers??
just a small note; I haven't finished the 3rd game yet so I have no idea what happens thus, I apologize if it isn’t too accurate or if there are gaps in my story! Also, i don’t know if reader stays in the killing game long enough to birth a child, so like, i just made it like she did?? 
Shuichi
to be honest, I think he would find out before you did.
he is extremely observant so he would notice the symptoms right away
He would notice how you got fatigued easily, how you seemed to get nauseated
first, he would ask you if you were late
then, if you said yes, he would tell you straight up.
“S/o, you’re pregnant.” “I- I’m what!?” 
he would definitely get worried for you and his baby, 
a child born into a killing game is not ideal after all.
would be with you at all times, too scared to let you out his sight
he doesn’t want you or his baby to get hurt or killed by another student
yes, he believes in everyone but he can never be too careful.
he’s constantly pestering you and asking if you’re alright
you have 0 time to yourself, because he’s always with you
would probably hold hands through the bathroom door if you were using the toilet
he would try and prepare everything for when you go into labor
he wanted to make sure that both you and the baby are safe before and after labor
he takes care of you very well, always getting what you need or want
overall, i think he’d be a very responsible dad when the baby is born, probably the best dad out of everyone.
Kokichi
At first kokichi thought you were joking,
“Nishishi! Nice prank, s/o! You almost got me!”
But when you look at him with a serious expression, he goes-
“Wait shit, did we not use protection?” 
He’s not sure how to feel about it, so he just puts a fake face on.
He acts super excited and unworried but on the inside he’s not sure what to do.
he would constantly over think and become unsure of himself, the question repeating over and over in his head; Would he be a good dad?
Though he’s concerned for you and the baby, he’s actually kinda happy
he’s excited for all the pranks he and the baby can do against everyone in the killing game.
He has a new pranking partner!
yes, his pranking partner is less than a month old, but still! the baby is going to be a pranking master!
if you had strange cravings, he would try them with you
wanting to, “experience being pregnant with his tongue(kinky?)”
the horny bastard would probably still wanna smash, but definitely more gently than usual, he didn’t want to stab the baby with his dick
I think he’d talk to your baby via belly a lot
he would tell your baby stupid jokes that were kinda inappropriate but still hilarious
“Hmm, it must be nice being inside S/o. I would know, I was too.” 
“KOKICHI-” “NISHISHI!” *fucking books it*
i think he’d be a pretty irresponsible dad, but he’d definitely fight for his new family(with pranks)
random headcanon, but i think kokichi would wrap your baby in one of his checkered scarves when it comes out like- ahHHHHHHHHHH
he would also swaddle da baby with his scarf fvhajfgkgavkgbuyg
Korekiyo
When he found out, he was pretty shocked at first
But after the shock, he was insanely happy that he managed to create a human with you.
he adored the fact that his child would be able to make history and continue to live on even after he dies.
He loves humanity, so he’d love the human baby he made with you even more
during your 9 months of pregnancy, he would praise you and your ‘glowing body’ daily
constantly saying stuff like, “Your body is a temple and you are a Goddess.” and “The life growing inside you simply amazing and I am proud to share this experience with an entity such as you.”
You know, that cheesy ooey gooey romantic shit
“S/o, I want to crawl into your body so I can experience being born aga-” “That’s enough of that.”
It's cute and all, but it sometimes gets embarrassing when he is basically worshipping you in public(especially like that).
i think he would tell the baby, folk tales and myths while it was still in your belly
he wanted to raise the baby to be just as curious as he is.
though, behind all these adorable things, kiyo is worried.
don't get me wrong, he does enjoy the other students’ thoughts and strange minds, but he doesn’t trust them for a second.
he would never willingly leave you with another student.
he gets a teensy bit controlling; always asking you to stay in his lab or dorm.
but he won’t get unreasonably angry if you go anywhere else, he just encourages staying in places with less people
if you do need to go somewhere else with other people, he would just follow you
in the end, I think kiyo would be a dad that never neglects his kid(can’t relate-).
he would always be there for them.
K1-B0
K1-B0 doesn’t have the facilities to knock anyone up.
like kokichi asked, do robots even have a penis???? 
how the hell did you two fuck in the first place!????!
but if somehow, miu gives him a penis and actual sperm??? I guess it could work?? i don't know how it works man- I've never fucked a robot
I think he’d be happy and proud that he managed to impregnate you
“See!? I can do human things too!” “...Impregnating a human, K1B0? Seriously? Too fucking far.”
okay, I can’t take this one seriously T_T
um, if you and K1B0 had a baby, would it be half robot??
through your belly, the baby would make robot noises to communicate and K1B0 would understand which is cool
when the baby was born, he gets very protective; he doesn't want his baby to face the same discrimination and bullying he did
he wouldn’t be afraid that the others would hurt the baby, because he helped build in lazer eyes for his baby.
oh but he definitely would not let his baby go near Miu at all
he would prevent that from happening as much as possible
he’s afraid she’ll do something weird to the baby and add new gadgets,
sure its cool and all for him, but the baby is so young!
I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABVHGJDFKVJGVJ
Kaito
Kaito would be fucking psyched when you told him, stars in his eyes and everything
“I-I’m gonna be a dad!? whOOOOOOOOOOO!!” He picked you up and hugged you tight, but not too tight; he didn't want to hurt the baby.
But then realization hits him like a truck when he realizes, that the baby was going to be born into a killing game.
He would have a nervous breakdown and cry for about, ehhh a day or so
but once he gets it all out, he focuses on the positives
if it was possible, he loves you even more than he did before!
now that you have a mini you growing inside you(inception!?), its like, double the love :0
he’s giddy everytime he sees you with your baby bump, not being able to resist hugging you every time he sees you.
he loves you so much, it's hard to put in words 
he cries when he can feel the baby kick, kissing your belly uwu
when you’re around people he can’t trust in the killing game, he gets very very protective
he would watch their every move, moving to shield you when they move their hands.
but around the people he trusts like shuichi and maki, he’d let his guard down and relax
he would stress out if you were in any discomfort, always making sure you were okay
if your legs or back were sore, he would be there in an instant to massage your joints until his hands fell off
he puts you before himself, sometimes forgetting to take care of his basic needs like, eating or sleeping
you’d have to remind him a lot
I think something cute that he would do while you two slept is holding you or your belly protectively while he dozed off
overall, a goofy dad that makes stupid dad jokes.
would have a lot of proud dad moments
he seems like the type who would embarrass his child a lot lmao
Gonta
uh, gonta is father?
would definitely be shocked and stressed out when you told him
his protective mom dad instinct would intensify and he would constantly be carrying you
1. because he didn’t want your legs to get tired
2. he’s practicing for when he picks up his baby
3. if he carries you like this, no one can reach and/or hurt you
4. because he can
5. and because a gentleman would do that
he doesn't really know what to do when you’re having pregnancy symptoms, like vomiting, nausea, etc.
he’s not great at that part, but he knows how to protect you from danger and he knows how to make sure you’re comfortable
he treats you like a queen(as all women should be treated!)
he isn’t really worried when you’re around other students, but he still picks you up just in case
i think he’d act super sweet, like his sweetness would intensify to 100
he would try cooking a meal for you or giving you breakfast in bed, but it always tastes like boiled eggs in the end?
like no matter what it is, it always tastes like boiled eggs
pasta? boiled eggs
maki rolls(haha)? boiled eggs
sandwich? boiled eggs
“...Mmm! Gonta this is, uh, not at all tasting like boiled eggs!” You tried to say enthusiastically, Gonta nodded with a soft smile, “Gonta glad you like it!”
eventually you caved in and told him(after a few months... you didn't want to hurt the baby—gonta—, okay?)
he’d have to ask kirumi to do all the cooking while he just handed her ingredients
he feels weird when he thinks about the fact that his baby is growing inside you
all he can think about is larva
but he thinks its cool that his creation is going to grow inside you and become another human
so he just rolls with it
Rantaro
(i apologize in advance if this isn’t too accurate)
i feel like i can imagine this:
Rantaro was sitting on the benches outside, drinking his bottled tea. His eyes darted towards your approaching figure. He stored his leftover tea in his cheeks as he gave you a wave, putting his bottle down. “Rantaro, i’m pregnant.” His eyes widened as the tea came spewing out, luckily he turned his head away so you were out of the splash-zone. He dropped his bottle before standing up and immediately hugging you. “I love you so much, we can do this. I love you.” He repeated as he moved his hand up your head, tangling his fingers in your locks.
he would be pester you if you looked like you were in pain or struggling with something, thinking you were going into labor
*breathing pattern changes* “Holy shit! Are you going into labor?? Fuck, okay um, uH hospital?? UH contRACTIOns HOw LoNg?-” “I JUST BREATHED DIFFERENTLY.”
p a n i c
he doesn’t know how the whole pregnancy thing works, he’s only a teen after all
but no matter what, he supports you in any way he can
i think if anyone made a bad comment about your baby or you, he would probably scare the shit out of them with his scary expression
intimidation x100
i headcanon him to be a cuddly dad
he would hold you a lot, he likes feeling all three of you together
small scenario from when the baby was born;
As your baby’s cries filled the room, you sighed as you got up from the bed. Rantaro, however, abruptly stopped your movement, “Don’t worry, I got ‘em.” He rubbed his eyes, kissing your forehead as he gently pushed you back down onto the bed and walked towards the crib.
You watched with droopy eyes as Rantaro gently shushed the baby by bouncing them in his arms. Rantaro made his way back to bed and slipped in beside you, the now quiet baby still in his arms. “Mmm Rantaro no, we’re gonna crush the baby.”
You softly groaned in protest. Rantaro pouted at you, silently pleading with you with his puppy-dog eyes. You let out a huff of defeat before nodding, eyes half-closed. The last thing you saw before dozing off was Rantaro smiling goofily at the baby. You slowly fell asleep, Imprinting a gentle smile on your face as you slept. 
sorry for steering the other way for rantaro’s, its 6am ;-; what is sleep anyway? phew, thank you for requesting this! i enjoyed writing it, it was fun :D
- mod chia
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machinegunbun · 4 years ago
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Reading ur smutts reminded me of a interview he did a long time ago. Somehow he got to talking about his sex life bc let's be real he did that in almost all his old interviews lmao but he was saying how dirty he was. He was like "I'm a dirty mf I want them to grind on the ground, grind on the street pole, grind on me, grind on my thigh I'm a extremely dirty mf" another time he was talking about watching back his own sex tapes and shocking hisself with how dirty he gets and telling hisself to dial it back some😂😂
I wanna start off by saying although not today I am still working on req so dont hate me!! You can also send in Pete concepts and im 10000% down to write a lil ~sumn~ on those too. This is just filler until i can get something more substantial out.
Anon, imma keep it real with you... you started my morning off interesting. Reading this shit at 8:11AM while I’m still rubbing the sleep from my eyes was not entirely what I was expecting this morning. But I fuck with you for it.
its 10:11 now and I don’t think I have to mention what I spent my time doing. I love the idea of this tbh, so much room for imagination.
I’m halfway through writing and came back up to say im watching interviews to try n find the one you mentioned and just... here you horny fucks
girls don’t say names, they call me daddy
“some girls are into that sex slave shit and like to be called bitch, slut, whore. It stays strictly sexual, when they leave the respect is there” I’minlove. Someone take my internet away I’m in love.
review: I’m just shaking and warm. I didn’t do a thing this man just-- god fucking damn. Oh my god. I’m considering professional help
nothin really happens here but he looks good so
this motherfucker keeps acting like a whore and we have to run around like chickens with their head cut off trying to find the proof. JESUS. Let us breathe.
I can’t think straight so one moment.
Ultimately I couldn't find the interview but if anyone else knows it, dont be shy link us to it 🤍🤍🥰
Okay, so
—————
Because this motherfucker is so dirty I’m thinking maybe it shocks you. You’ve always been pretty kinky and while other men could sometimes keep up you’d never had anyone match your energy the way Col does. How cute.
I’ve had this concept in my head for awhile, but once again I wasn’t sure where it fell on the weirdness scale. Now I’m sure he would be into it. May never question that again. (Yes I will, keep sending encouragement)
Maybe you’re at a friends house, maybe it’s family or maybe its your own and you just decided to switch it up, up to you. Wherever you are you aren’t allowed to fuck on the bed/dont wanna mess it up, so you have to get creative. You’re in the shower, on your knees and sucking him off when he cums somewhat unexpectedly. Some of it lands on your face and tits, but ultimately reaches the floor. Colson is determined to make you swallow his cum one way or another, the reason could be punishment for talking a lot of shit before hand or maybe hes just a kinky fuck, i dunno, either way he pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail and turns you around, shoving your face into the show floor and telling you to
“Lick it up, slut.”
Or, if you want it to be a little closer to the interview, maybe he nuts or even spits on the shower floor and tells you to grind yourself over it. Maybe you’re grinding yourself over his spit while you blow him and when he cums it lands on the floor and he makes you lick up the spot where his spit, your juices and his cum is while he pulls your hair.
I think most likely its a form of foreplay, he always hints at being super nasty but never outright tells us anything (tease).
So maybe you’re about to ~get eht awn~ and while you’re making out he tells you to grind against a blanket or a pillow (both 100% valid AND recommended forms of masturbation.)
I think alot about just grinding on his face or his hand, or more obviously his thigh. I think it would be so hot to sit on his lap and grind against him while you make out. He’d probably play with your tits while you did it too, or maybe just wrap his arm around you to pull you closer which 🥺🥺 would make me feel so safe
I might expand upon this tomorrow but i wanted to get this out. Again, dont be afraid to send in Petey D concepts/photos/gifs/videos. Id love to see both of my boys 🥺🥰
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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years ago
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tis the damn season
atsumu miya x fem reader 
the first fic in a series i like to call “Me Writing Whatever The Hell I Want” (a working title) hope u like it or dont idk im not ur boss!!!!!!!!!!
synopsis: Running away was easy when you were chasing hazy dreams of a big city that was destined to be yours, when your rear-view mirror showed nothing but your hole in the wall hometown. But now it’s all waiting tables and failing auditions. You were still running, but somehow, these winding roads always lead you back to Miya Atsumu - a man you’ve loved and left, until you return home for the holidays. 
tags: friends to lovers, exes to lovers, angst without a happy ending, established pre-relationship, friends with benefits, reader lives in Undisclosed Big City lmao who has celebrity dreams, atsumu is ur good ole southern boy (sort of), canon divergent, not edited, light nsfw, beginnings of sex but isn’t very detailed 
word count: 4220
song inspo  (tis the damn season by taylor swift)
-
i won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay… 
. . . 
The soundtrack of this early morning replayed in your head as you made a hazy drive to the neighborhood’s hardware store, cutting left onto the correct street and forcing the car’s back tire over the curb you couldn’t miss. 
The replay of events looping in your mind? A whirring, then a splashing, then your father’s booming voice shouting curse words at anyone who could hear them. Your name was laced in there somewhere with demands for you to get to the kitchen, and you couldn’t tumble down the stairs fast enough to see what in the hell was going on. 
It was your first day home for the holidays, and already it was a catastrophe. 
Somehow your dad had busted a pipe underneath the kitchen sink and a strong stream of water was spraying halfway across the room because of it - your feet landed in a shallow pool when you finally reached the first floor. You didn’t have time to think of any questions before the man at fault, who was on his knees with his head hidden under the sink relentlessly trying to turn the water off, sent you out the door with more shouts, telling you to go to Miya’s Hardware and buy… something. 
“A connector?” You were talking to yourself, thinking out loud as you finally parked, but it didn’t help you remember. All you could do was walk inside the store and hope someone knew what you needed. 
It’d been years since you had been in this shop, but it looked just the same as when you were following your dad through its isles. You didn’t even bother browsing now, though - you went straight to the back of the store to the counter, expecting to see a familiar, perhaps older, face eager to help you. 
That isn’t what you found. 
“Well, hey stranger.” 
That voice rang in your ears like you’d just heard it through a megaphone pointed directly at you. Something about it was so warm, but it left you with a shiver down your spine and goosebump ridden skin. You could feel the hair on the back of your neck standing up, and you hadn’t even turned in the direction the words came from. 
But you didn’t have to look in order to know just who it was. “Atsumu.” 
“What in the hell are you doing back in town?” His voice rang with excited confusion; it carried the same inflection as anyone who’s happy to see you. Like nearly forgotten family members at a reunion before it all goes to hell, or the way the tone of your father’s voice changes when you tell him you’re doing well and mean it. People don’t speak that way often. 
He pulled you in for a hug and you gladly reciprocated, already forgetting that you were supposed to be in a hurry. 
“Home for the holidays. How have you been?”
“I’ve been alright,” he replied. “I’ve missed you.” 
His voice felt more like home than your four bedroom walls did, the charming drawl and depth in his words immediately reeling you in. It was familiar. You had spent a long time trying to forget about that familiarity; too long learning how to straighten out your words and lose any hint of the small town you came from. But Atsumu - he sounded like the epitome of this place. 
He didn’t give you time to reply, for one reason or another; instead he decided to push you back by your shoulders and get a good look at you. Up and down and up again, likely noticing every change you had made to your appearance in your time away. 
“Are you still wearing your pajamas, or is this a new… trend?” 
You looked down at yourself, “Shit,” and closed your jacket tight over the old graphic t-shirt you wore, but nothing could cover your pink polka-dotted pants. And you’d have been hit in the face with embarrassment if the image of your dad and the broken sink and a flooded kitchen didn’t smack you first. “Shit, no, um… I need something to fix a broken sink. Are you… do you work here now?” 
“I do - and you’re gonna need to be more specific.” 
“I don’t know, Atsumu,” you laughed, slowly realizing the bizarreness of what you were about to tell him. “I woke up to my dad shouting and water shooting out from under the sink, literally flooding the kitchen. He told me to get a part for the pipe… a connector, or a couple, or something - I don’t know.” 
“...A coupler?” 
“Yes!” 
“...He didn’t happen to tell you what size to get, did he?” 
The look on your face must have been a good enough answer for him, because he took off into a random aisle and left you wondering just how many sizes of couplers there could be. 
“This one will probably do the job,” he said as his path rounded the counter. “If it doesn’t, then, I can ignore the return policy for you. Just this once, though.” 
“Thanks, ‘Tsumu.” You made your payment and he slid your product over the counter as his elbows landed on it, leaning down to make himself comfortable. Like he thought he’d be there awhile. 
“How long are you gonna be in town?” 
“Two weeks. Why do you ask?” You knew why - you just wanted to hear him say it. 
“We should catch up.” 
He was grinning and shrugging and fidgeting with his fingers, just like he always did, and you would never turn down any offer he made you. 
“We should. I’ve got to get home, but are you free tonight?” 
“We close at six,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” 
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” you said, meaning every word. You wondered if he knew that. 
“So will I,” he replied, and then you made your way out before you convinced yourself to stay. 
It’d been three years since you last spoke to Atsumu. In that time, you had done a lot that felt like nothing, living in a different city that felt worlds bigger than this town - that city was a place you had once convinced yourself was all yours. You had pulled off running away effortlessly. 
But it didn’t matter how much time goes by between your meetings with Atsumu. There was something there that you could never shake, the hold you had on each other was anchor tight. Ten years could pass and you would speak to each other like it had only been one day. You’d have world ending fights and one of you would always come crawling back, letting the other win as long as it meant things would go back to normal. 
You couldn’t describe it. You never tried, you didn’t need to. The unspoken acts between the two of you didn’t need to be explained. It was something akin to a best friend with all the benefits included and most of the strings attached - confusing and nerve wracking but still so comforting. 
Atsumu was the closest thing to home you had in this town, and somehow every road always leads back to him. With a few detours on your part, of course, because you just couldn’t stay away too long. Even moving across the country didn’t change that - not like you thought it would. 
You just barely missed the turn into your driveway, being so distracted by your thoughts. So much was rushing back, so much that shouldn’t be - it isn’t a big deal, it’s just Atsumu, but it felt grand, like this was some massive reunion. 
But it wasn’t. You were only here to celebrate Christmas with your family. You weren’t even planning on seeing Atsumu, let alone meeting up with him or rekindling any kind of flame that was once there. 
And it was such a rush that you couldn’t even question why he was working at his father’s store - or why he was even in this town at all. What happened to the dreams he was chasing? 
For what felt like the first time in your life, you had questions for him. But you’d have to wait all day to ask them. 
. . .
You were thankful to come home to a dry floor and a calmer father - he finally figured out how to turn the water off and decided to fix the pipe later. You knew he’d inevitably be paying someone more qualified to repair it, but your mind had no space for that problem. 
You were still trying to figure out how you’d meander the night with Atsumu by the time he was picking you up, and when the two of you arrived at his home you still hadn’t found your answer. 
Easing into this would be best, and once alcohol was introduced to the equation it would turn into a slippery slope. 
Nothing was hard with Atsumu. You knew that - that’s why you couldn’t figure out why you were having such a hard time talking to him. 
A lot had changed. Not between the two of you, not exactly. You were right back where you were three years ago: on his couch, sitting too close to him, laughing at something he had said that was only funny because he said it. 
But your lives had changed. Your worlds had changed. His mind had very obviously changed, and because of it all, you couldn’t keep pretending that the two of you were teenagers again. 
You had to bite the bullet and ask the question that was on your mind, completely knowing that he could throw a hard hitting question back at you.
It came out more effortlessly and lighthearted than you expected. “So… what happened to playing volleyball?”
Atsumu scoffed. “You still remember that pipe dream? Nothing happened, it was just childish.” 
You didn’t like his answer, so you pressed him. You worked up the courage to start this conversation, so you were going to get to the bottom of things. “You said you wanted to catch up - I know you, Atsumu. You get what you want and you wanted to play volleyball. You were going to be a pro, you were good.” 
“I know you know me,” he said, and the smirk on his lips didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I wanted to get drunk and chat, not start up a fucking therapy session.” 
You sat patient and waiting, eyes on him, refusing to go without the answer to your question. You were teasing, really, eyeing him up and grinning as you watched him struggle. The problem was: you didn’t expect the answer you’d get. 
“I - I had the chance.” There was a scratch in his throat that wasn’t caused by the whiskey he’d just swallowed. “I was being scouted and playing my ass off and there were talks of being on an Olympic team one day, but… shit happens, and that’s it.” 
“What shit, Atsumu? You didn’t just give up, did you? Were you scared or something?” 
You didn’t realize how close you were to him until his hand came down to rest on your knee, and both of you focused on that touch as his next thoughts became words. “Dad got sick. And ‘Samu had just opened the restaurant, and… there were bills to pay and the store to run. Even though I wasn’t his preference, Dad had no choice and left the legacy of Miya’s Hardware to me, so - that’s where I am.” 
“Oh. I… I had no idea - I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s fine. You were already long gone by then - don’t say sorry.” 
“I’m sorry,” you said, and you hugged him without thinking, but he hugged you back all the same. “I’m sorry, ‘Tsumu.” 
“It’s okay,” he told you, but you didn’t feel okay. You were sure he didn’t, either. “It’s not your fault.” 
You pulled away from him just enough to look at his face, and you hadn’t noticed the distance in his eyes until just then. As you looked at him, you realized it was only familiar to now. It wasn’t there years ago, when you got to look into those eyes every day. 
“I should’ve been there for you.” 
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, but his words were dangling on an edge. He didn’t quite mean them. “You were off in your own dream. I got through it.” 
You only nodded. You weren’t sure what else to say after that. 
As Atsumu sat back against the couch, he brought you with him, tucking you under his arm against his chest. His lips on your forehead made you close your eyes and for a second, it was like you were both nineteen again. You could’ve been, if time would only slow down or freeze or go back - what wouldn’t you give for that? 
“I’m done talking about me,” he mumbled. “I wanna hear about your life now.” 
You laughed, but quiet, “My life’s been fine.”
“Only fine?” 
“You don’t see me on the big screen, do you?” 
He laughed this time. “Not yet. One day, though. Have you gotten used to the city yet?” 
“Oh… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, but… it does feel like home now. It’s so different from living here.” 
“I bet.” 
“I try not to romanticize it, but - I don’t know. It feels good, even if it’s not what I thought it’d be. The lights are pretty bright. Blinding compared to here.” 
His response was a nod, and that was it. If he had any questions or comments, he held them back. 
A break in the silence came soon, though. “You know,” he said, quiet, with a small laugh that was humorless, “I’m not as good at getting what I want as you think I am.” 
“That’s not true,” you replied, and you were setting up an argument you weren’t ready to make. “You got me.” 
“Did I?” 
“What do you mean?” 
Silence lingered, and after too long you sat up and looked at him, and that got him to talk. 
“Nothing,” he insisted. He pulled you closer with two fingers holding your chin, and you didn’t resist. “Nothing, baby. Let’s just… just be quiet for a while.” 
There wasn’t time for you to say anything else. His lips were on yours the moment he got his last word out. And even though you expected him to kiss you, it still made you gasp. 
You couldn’t describe how much you missed kissing someone you wanted to, and Astumu’s kiss was like finding home. His lips were like candy, sweeter than sugar; his bite was a freezing shock that always pulled a giggle and a whisper of his name out of you. He knew how to kiss you, slow and deep with a hand on your jaw to keep you there, never leaving you wanting more because he gave everything you could ever need. 
It didn’t take long for his kisses to trail down your neck, or for his shirt to come off, or for your back to land on the couch. You had already reached euphoria just seeing him hovering over you, eyes soft and hair askew; you didn’t need anything but this. You’d never want anything but this. 
You did what you always did - trailed your hand down his torso, over his golden skin, stopping just after every freckle or scar or mark. This time, you were looking for something new. You didn’t find anything. You didn’t stop until your hand landed on his waist, and there, you squeezed - 
“Stop, you little shit,” and he laughed, right along with you. A real and genuine laugh - you hadn’t heard that song in a long time. “Why do you always do that?” 
Finally he moved down to press his chest against yours, his hips locking in place between your legs. A perfect combination. 
“Why do you always give me the chance?” You were still laughing, not able to get over the cute sight. Atsumu was always so ticklish there, right on his waist, and when you made that discovery you swore you’d never forget it. And he sure as hell wished you would have. “You’re so cute. I’ve missed that smile.” 
“I’ve missed you,” he replied. Somehow you just knew that he meant it. 
“Don’t. I’m here.” 
“You’re here,” he repeated. Like he was reassuring himself. 
You took the initiative to unbutton your shirt yourself, so that there was no way for him to think that you wanted this to stop there. It couldn’t, not when you had him this close. And his eyes followed the popping buttons like stalking prey. 
“And you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Fucking hell.” 
You cringed - you couldn’t help the feeling in your gut when he gave you those sweet words. You knew he meant them in some way; you knew Atsumu wouldn’t lie to you. He’s never told you anything just for the sake of it. But how many times, in the last three years, had someone done just that? Told you just what you wanted to hear so they could get inside you? It was vile the first time. The second, it made you ache. But now, you’re used to it. Nobody means what they say. You’re used to it. 
And Atsumu could snatch up any girl he wanted. A girl who’s used to blinding lights and expensive wine and lying - or a girl who would stay with him, who wouldn’t push his buttons, who would be effortless in her charm and wit and beauty. 
You couldn’t put yourself in either category. 
“You haven’t seen many, then.” 
“Why would I even need to when I’ve got you? You’re a fucking dream. All I ever think about.” 
You shook your head, not even noticing you were doing it. Atsumu wouldn’t have it. 
“Don’t do that,” he said. “Not when you know what you do to me. You’ve got my heart beating out of my chest, for fuck’s sake - it has been since you walked into the store.” 
You never knew him to be so open with his feelings, or maybe you had just gotten used to being lied to. You weren’t sure and you didn’t care - all you could think about was kissing him, so you pulled him in, and you were sure he would devour you. You’d have no problem with that. 
It was desperate when you said, “I need you.”
And reassuring when he replied, “I’m right here.” 
He wasn’t close enough. You didn’t think he ever could be. And it was right then, when you were swimming in desperation, that you realized you shouldn’t have been doing this. It would only make leaving even harder. Doing it the first time was hell, letting him watch you leave and be okay with it. You hated yourself for wishing he wasn’t. And you were drowning. 
You hated yourself for leaving. 
You hated yourself more for coming back. 
And you didn’t want to be there, all of a sudden, despite the ache in between your thighs and the addicting warmth he had you trapped in. You didn’t want to be there and you didn’t want to leave, either - you only wanted something easy, but you’d never have it. Not here, and not in the city, and not with Atsumu. 
You felt him freeze, felt things shift. You hadn’t even noticed the way your energy had completely dropped. 
“Something wrong?” He moved up to hold your face. He noticed the tears in your eyes before you did. 
It was hard to look at him but you held his gaze, and his touch hurt more than it healed but you yearned for it. The concern on his face was genuine, the gentle strokes of his thumb on your cheek weren’t forced, and it all was making your stomach turn. 
He cared for you - obviously he did - but not enough to ask you to stay. Not enough to find trouble in letting you leave him. So maybe you shouldn’t have a problem with it, either. 
“No,” you said through a sore throat and a locked jaw. “Sorry, just…” 
“We don’t have to do this,” he told you. “We can just talk - I want to talk. If it’s too much -” 
“It’s okay,” you said. You tried to mean it as much as, “I miss you, Atsumu. I want you - touch me, I miss you.” 
“I know,” and he was wiping the tears off of your cheeks as he kissed your lips, “I’ll take care of you, baby, just let me. Stop thinking so much. Let me take care of you like I always do, yeah? You want me to help you feel good?” 
You always had a problem with that - thinking too much. He never hesitated to call you out on it. You nodded your head, strong and fast, like you were trying to knock the thoughts right out of it. 
“Please, ‘Tsumu.” You were crying for him, pulling him closer. “Need you. Make it better, please.” 
“I’d do anything,” he said. “You gotta quit crying, baby. You’re acting like our first time again.” 
You laughed at that, wiping your own tears and knocking his hands away. “God, that was so embarrassing.” 
“It was cute.” 
“It wasn’t.” 
“It was kinda hot, too.” 
“Atsumu!” 
It was his deep grin that made you relax again, and so did another blissful kiss that took your breath in a way that you enjoyed. 
“You can cry, baby,” he said, popping buttons on both of your pants, “as long as it’s because of how good I’m making you feel. That’s what you need, pretty girl. Let me show you how much I’ve been missing you - get these pants off, baby, let me see you.” 
He didn’t give you the chance to cry any more, at least not in an emotional sense. Your mind was stripped with your body, filled with nothing but him, no space between the two of you left for insecurities or questions. 
It wasn’t until he coaxed you into his bedroom that those things had the chance to creep back. 
Atsumu was out cold, cuddled into your chest and holding on tight to your waist, after smothering you in soft kisses and sweet sleepy words. You were comfortable there, warm and safe and content, but the pit in your stomach only grew. You watched him sleep, his mouth slightly open and eyes softly closed, and you wanted to reach down and kiss him but you resisted. 
It was late and you should be asleep but you couldn’t rest. You couldn’t stop loathing yourself long enough to close your eyes, and the more you thought, the harder it got to breathe. Your throat was sore again. Your eyes were watering again. And every word you wanted to say to Atsumu was tumbling out of your mouth and falling onto sleeping ears. 
“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”
He didn’t stir. It was still rumbling breaths and the whir of the air conditioner filling the silence. 
“Everyone else did. But you. Why… You of all people should know I’m just as worthless there as I am here - I’ll never make it - I’ve changed everything and still…” 
You sucked a hard breath into your lungs to stop a wracking sob, just barely holding it in. 
“I just ended up here again. With you. I’m so alone without you but I can’t - fuck.”
It didn’t even matter what you were trying to say anymore, because you had no clue. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just stay with him regardless of his choice to let you go, but something in you made you run. Maybe it was worthless pride or a childish desire to be something more - you didn’t know. 
You didn’t belong in any industry you dreamed of working in. You weren’t born to be a star. You should know by now - should accept your failure and come back home for more than just one night. 
But you couldn’t. 
There was still a chance, wasn’t there? 
A chance to belong somewhere.
A chance to be led home.
A chance to make it. Would you die trying? 
You would leave in the morning. And you wouldn’t ask Atsumu to wait for you as he started getting ready for the day. And Atsumu wouldn’t ask you to ditch your own plotted destiny just to stay with him. 
But this would happen again. Every time you would swear it off and every time, you would travel roads that take you right back to this town, this bed, these arms. 
Running away would never get easier, but this is all it would ever be with him. He would never stop you leaving - and you would never ask him to.  
. . .
...so i’ll go back to LA
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artreider · 3 years ago
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Station 19 rewatch: 4x14
Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here's hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.
Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.
Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.
I'm glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.
Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.
Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.
Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he'll be killed off.
Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.
I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.
I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella's phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.
The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya's face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.
So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.
I'm glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean's episode dean wasnt there.
Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.
The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.
Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she's leaving forever is heartbreaking.
Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina's doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.
I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.
The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.
Wait it totally sounded like she said "it felt pregnant" lmao or i just have babies on the brain.
Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.
Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.
Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.
Lmao "you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod", things a pandemic makes funny.
Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he's doing nothing wrong.
Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.
Maya's jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.
I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.
I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina's love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)
Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.
Ben's dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.
Joey in the dream lmao.
The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.
Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.
I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.
Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.
Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the "just because", like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.
I get how maya's fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.
And i can understand why maya's fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.
I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.
If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.
I agree why not just do it.
You've both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.
How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?
Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.
Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would've taken a true proposal.
Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.
If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.
Once again andy being a good friend this episode.
If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya's next move wouldve been after talking to andy.
Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.
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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years ago
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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship
**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”
I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:
2013
L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 
H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily
H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 
L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).
L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes
L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex
2014
L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 
L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones
L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs
L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)
H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)
H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 
2015
H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 
L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)
H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 
L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********
H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 
H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 
L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 
 2016-2017
H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 
H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****
H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad
H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 
L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).
H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)
L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it
L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u
2018-2019
L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 
L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 
L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 
L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now
L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of
L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********
H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******
H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it
H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******
H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 
H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)
H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 
H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her
H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)
H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 
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burnedbyshoto · 5 years ago
Text
Under the Mistletoe
pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader
warning: smut, cursing, fluff
word count: 8,467
a/n: I didn’t want to edit this last night so lmao... sorry!!!!! anyways, this is super cute and yall should like.....read it :D
Synopsis: The mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. Too bad Todoroki Shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
“So you’re telling me that when two people meet under a mistletoe they have to...” Shouto trails off as he looks at the green plant nestled in between his fingers. “They have to—”
“They have to fuck, yes,” Kaminari nods his head. 
His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as he nods. His words, of course, are a flat out lie, but to Todoroki Shouto it seems as if his friend is speaking the truth. “It’s why it was never put up during our Christmas celebrations at school! With some of you guys not turning eighteen until after Christmas and all. That could have turned out to be child porn or something!”
“I haven’t had sex though,” Shouto huffs as he throws the mistletoe towards the blond who yells as it hits his head. “I don’t think I want to be caught underneath it. Didn’t Mineta wear a hat with it attached to it last week though?”
“Yeah, but that’s the only way Mineta can get girls, plus didn’t you see how the girls avoided him like the plague?” Sero pipes in, a large grin on his face as he takes the mistletoe and throws it above Kaminari’s head.
Shouto, however, sees this as a substantial poof.
“Bro, are you telling me you wanna fuck?” Kaminari winks as he looks up at the mistletoe.
“No, I just don’t think you’ll ever get to smash without this either!” Sero laughs as Kaminari slaps the mistletoe from Sero’s grasp.
“Would you fucking bastards GET OFF YOUR ASSES and come fucking help out?!” Bakugou roars as he enters the living room where the three men were sitting around.
Shouto stands up first, his eyes looking at the mistletoe that lays innocently on the floor. White people were pretty weird for starting that tradition.
Of course, it wasn’t to say that Shouto didn’t want to meet anyone under the mistletoe! Had it been a tradition where he would get to kiss someone it would be different, but fucking? Having sex only because you were caught under a plant was a bit too much.
“Todoroki-kun, are you okay?” Midoriya asked as he walked while hold two tables to put up for the dinner. The boys of the since graduated class 1-A were in charge of hosting the first annual Christmas party. Of course on because Iida volunteered them all.
Shouto nodded his head as he smiled strained, “I’m going to be avoiding the mistletoe all night.”
Midoriya looked at the fallen plant as he quirked an eyebrow, “Really? I thought it could be a great idea to get— mmph?!”
Shouto’s eyes widened as he saw Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima covering the One for All user’s mouth. They began dragging him away, their mouths at his ear as they whispered at him.
“Todoroki-kun, Kirishima-kun!” Iida yelled as he brisked over with red cloth in his hands, “I need your help in spreading snow out in front of the house! It hasn’t snowed enough yet!”
“Iida, what do you think about mistletoe?” Shouto asks as Kirishima jogs over to them.
“It’s a weird tradition,” Iida admits as he rubs the back of his neck. “But there’s too much to do, and the girls will be here within an hour!”
“Don’t worry bro,” Kirishima laughs as he slings an arm around Shouto’s shoulder. “Just avoid the mistletoe! Unless... you want us to send y/l/n-chan your way!”
Shouto couldn’t hide the flush the built on his cheeks at those words. The joyous laughter of Kirishima’s teasing didn’t help either.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
Shouto stared at himself in the mirror.
Iida had insisted on formal wear tonight. He believed their first Christmas celebration outside of U.A. was a cause to ditch the Santa gear. It was definitely weird celebrating Christmas with his friends and not wearing the Santa suits.
But Shouto chose a dark navy blue suit, a white button-up, and a slim black tie. His fingers buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket before putting in silver cuff links. He was ready.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Shouto placed his clothes into the designated room. It seemed, however, that he was the last one ready as everyone else was sitting at the grand table. It had been beautifully prepared by Sato and Tokoyami. The aroma of the cooking food filled the air causing Shouto to sigh, he was quite hungry.
“Bakugou, where’s the mistletoe?” Shouto asked his ash-blond friend who was walking around with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shouto watched as Bakugou groaned as he whipped around towards him.
“What makes you think I would fucking know, hah?” Bakugou grunts as he rolls his eyes. “It’s hidden for a goddamn reason, you’re not supposed to know!”
“Would you help me look for it?” Shouto asks as he rubs the back of his neck.
“HAH?! Why the hell would I look for it with YOU, half and half bastard?! Are you trying to—?” Bakugou’s mouth was then taped shut. Shouto watched on in confusion as the ash blond’s attention was stolen by Sero; who was now running away in his white tux from the storming blond.
“Why aren’t they just being bizarre!” Aoyama dramatized from Shouto’s left. Glancing over, Shouto chuckled at his friend dressed in a literal suit of armor that was blinding to the eye. “Now, are you confessing your feelings to Mademoiselle y/n? Christmas is the most romantic time to do so!”
Before Shouto could speak to the smirking blond, Iida bursts into the dining area with coats in his arms.
“The ladies have arrived!” He announced.
Shouto watched as six girls entered the room talking amongst themselves.
They all wore Christmas appropriate formal dresses, and yet his heart fell as he was quick to see that you weren’t there.
Where were you?
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
“I know I’m very late!” You exclaim into your phone as you struggle to shove the dark red evening dress over your body.
You weren’t supposed to have stayed as late at work as you did.
Missing the bullet train back to your apartment, you had completely missed the preparation for the party. Lucky for you, your neighbor had a useful quirk that let him do makeup and hair in ten minutes. So after offering him your soul (a promised meeting from his favorite Pro Hero Froppy), he agreed to do it.
The formal wear, however, was a bit too much in your opinion.
One month ago Iida had sent out appropriate outfits to gather ideas of what to wear for today. To put it simply he wanted a full-blown ball gown for a party for twenty-one of you.
So there you sat in your room, pulling the dark red dress into place. It had a semi sweetheart neckline, the bodice was made of soft velvet, and the skirt was multiple layers of red lace. Overall it was cute and simple. Slipping on your white heels you grabbed your coat and presents for your friends. Placing your phone to your ear you raced out to where the taxi was waiting for you.
“Iida won’t let anyone eat until you’re here! And I’m positive Bakugou is going to kill Midoriya out of a hangry fit if you don’t get here quick!” Mina once again tells you as you give the taxi driver the address.
“It’s not my fault villains decided to be villains where I work! Had it been my decision I would’ve been there with you guys! Plus it’s starting to snow,” you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Tell Iida you guys can start eating, I’m not offended!”
“Girl, I told him that one hour ago, and again right before I called. Trust me, we’re not touching the food until you’re here!”
“Wow, you didn’t even want to wait for me?” You tease as you watch as the taxi drives into familiar areas.
“You know I’m teasing, besides loverboy here won’t let anyone eat until you get here too~!” Mina giggles in her sing-song tone.
“Don’t call Shouto that!” You groan as you try to calm your flaring cheeks. “We’re friends!”
“Friends who have the sexual tension that brings god to her knees! And the romantic chemistry that makes the cutest couple tremble in jealousy!” Mina exclaims. “Don’t worry, we saved you the seat right between him and me!”
“Mina!”
“Oh, gotta go! Bakugou AND your precious Shouto~ are demanding an update, see ya soon cutie!”
“Mina—”
The line went dead as you puffed out your cheeks.
Sometimes Mina was too slippery for her own good.
The rest of the taxi drive was quiet. Your taxi driver most likely wanting to get you out as soon as possible to go home themselves. Your eyes focused down at your cellphone that was getting text messages demanding your location.
Most of which was spam from Kaminari and Uraraka who seemed to be the most starving. Sighing, you shared your location with the class’s group chat for the next twenty-four hours. So they could track you for the next few minutes it would take for you to get there.
kaminari: i dont think ive ever been this excited to see y/n in my life… ever… and im 98% sure i had a crush on her 0.0
you: omg i told you guys you could EAT stop HARASSING ME
sero: tru lets blame iida
iida: You all would have been very upset had we eaten without you! Besides, this is our family so we have to wait, it’s only polite. - Iida Tenya
mina: …
you: …
midoriya: …
kirishima: i thought someone ingrained it into iida that he doesnt have to text… like that…
momo: I believe it is okay, Iida-san! It is confusing to know who’s texting on this chat! Sincerly, Yaoyorozu Momo
bakugou: hurry the FUCK UP Y/N
you: id rather die
“We’re here,” the driver sighs as they turn around. “That’ll be 2,000 yen.”
You smile in gratefulness as you pull out two 2,000 yen. “It’s a tip for working on a holiday, thank you!”
“Happy holidays.”
“To you as well!”
You stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. Your eyes fluttering as you watch the snow fall in front of you. A shiver runs through your spine as you pull your coat tighter around yourself. Holding the presents closer to you, you walk down to the front door. You take notice of the heaps of snow in front of the lawn and grin. Although you had no evidence, you bet Iida made Shouto and Kirishima create snow unknowing that it was going to snow this much.
Opening the grand door, warmth and the waft of cooking food invaded your senses. Removing your coat, you heard chairs scraping against the floor as a small mob of people raced to greet you.
“Merry Christmas!”
“Season greetings!”
“I’m so fucking hungry, thank Santa you’re here!”
“Move bitches I get the first hug!”
“Let me grab her coat first!”
It had been a while since you had last seen everyone. But in this moshpit of who you would consider being among your best friends, it warmed your heart. “Thank you, Iida,” you smile as he nodded in response.
“You followed the guidelines quite well, you look great!” Iida compliments as he turns to put your coat away.
“Of course she looks great, we all went out together to a dress shop!” Jirou sighs as she pulls you into a hug.
You greeted everyone, hugging them all as you went until you finally found the one person you wanted to see. His hair styled slicked back and his hands rested in his pockets as he smiled at you. Your face felt like it was heating up as you stepped closer to him.
“Merry Christmas, Shouto,” you smile as the dual-colored man smiles at you. You pull him into a hug.
“Merry Christmas, y/n,” he mumbles into your hair. “I’ll take those from you?” Shouto offers as he grabs the bag with the presents.
“Thank you,” you say letting go of the bag.
Shouto nodded as he turns on his heel to put the presents away.
“TIME TO EAT!” Kirishima and Kaminari roar as everyone starts making their way back to the dining table.
“Just to let you know, there is a mistletoe somewhere here, in case you want to make a move,” Mina whispers in your ear.
Oh, this dinner seemed like it was going to get increasingly harder to stay composed.
xxx
“It’s present opening time!” Iida exclaims as he ushers the class into the living room where the tree and presents resided. “Please have a seat, Yaomomo and I have organized the different piles for everyone! Until you have been seated will you receive your pile!”
You were talking with Tsuyu as you entered the living room. Your eyes shining as you took in a beautifully decorated living room.
“You boys did an amazing job at decorating!” You exclaim as you grin, the night had been going perfectly so far.
Dinner had been lively and hilarious. Old banter and topics bleed into the night’s conversation made your heart ache for the old days. It seemed so long ago when you spent every day for three years with these guys. You missed it.
With Mina at your left who discussed her new fighting style. Shouto at your right who talked about his life at home. His family had finally was becoming something he loved completely. While you two had late night discussions talking about it no one else knew about it. It was invigorating to see Shouto grin and laugh in conversations. His old dense self was still ingrained in him yet he’s grown so much since his fifteenth year. You were proud of him.
You watched as Tsuyu took a seat on the couch, her eyes trained on you as she spoke. You moved to sit next to her until something shoved you to the side.
“Oh, that’s my seat!” Mina exclaimed as she sat next to Tsuyu, her smile large as your eyebrow rose. “There’s more, don’t worry!”
You turned around and saw a seat near Midoriya who was near Tsuyu. It seemed you could continue your conversation about her position as a Hero Commander. Midoriya would like that conversation as well.
“That’s my spot!” Uraraka shouts as you were about to sit down. You sighed as you stood back up, your eyes raking the couches for a place to sit.
“There’s a spot by Todoroki-kun,” Midoriya said pointing at Shouto. Shouto was sitting on a seat that was a bit too large for one person, but too small for two.
“Thanks,” you smile as you walk over to Shouto. “You mind if I squeeze in next to you?”
Shouto looks at you, his eyes intense as he shakes his head, “No, go ahead and sit.”
You sat at his left with a grin. Your body pressing into his left arm as he concentrated on Iida, and with a nudge, you captured his attention. “I hope you like the gift I bought for you,” you whisper as Iida begins handing out the piles of gifts to each person. Ojiro helping as they were big.
“I don’t think I could hate anything you could give me,” Shouto whispers back as he grabs his pile from Iida.
“Random panties I find on patrol?”
“I’d be honored you thought of me.”
“That’s so gross, Shouto,” you laugh as you take your own pile from Ojiro.
“You’re the one touching random panties from the streets of Japan!” Shouto retorts as he helps you settle your pile onto the floor.
“Touche, Shouto,” you grin as you shove him with your shoulder, “touche.”
“Because it is Uraraka-kun’s birthday coming up, she should go first!” Iida suggests and everyone agrees.
“Oh, I need to tell you something,” Shouto whispers as you cheer on Uraraka who is lifting a gift over her head.
“What is it?” You ask turning your head towards him.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers before focusing back in onto Uraraka. She lifts out multiple bags of strawberry mochi with a triumphant scream.
“You look handsome tonight, too.”
It doesn’t take long before presents are being opened and you’re feeling content pressed into Shouto’s side.
From Aoyama, you got a crystal mirror that sparkled in the light. The poem about the North Star engraved into the back of the mirror.
From Mina, you got workout clothes specific to a dance class you and the girls were planning on attending together. They were in your favorite color and came with a jacket with your name stitched into it.
From Tsuyu, you got a plushie. It was of your favorite animal and held lots of tiny little snacks that you could carry during a patrol.
From Iida, he presented you with a pair of exercise shoes you had been needing for a while. After all, sparring with Bakugou and Midoriya left your old ones disintegrated.
From Uraraka, she bought you a charm bracelet that had two charms on it already. One of the U.A. building and another of a small group of girls.
Ojiro gave you got a new winter coat. It was white, waterproof and insulated. Your jaw on the ground as you tried it on because it made you look like a marshmallow and you adored that.
Kaminari gave you got his mixtape. On the cassette were a bunch of Kaminari originals he had been promising you for years now, and now you had a copy. That and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.
Kirishima gave you a new ankle and wrist weights. Something to help with your manly journey to becoming the best hero!
Koda bashfully announced that you were getting an all-inclusive trip to an animal and tea shop. Something he gifted everyone in the class, and an event you girls were quick to plan.
Sato gave you a free pass to let him bake you anything you wanted. Another gift given to all the girls, and another gift you girls were excited to use.
Shoji had gifted you a massage gun. Something you had enveloped him in a hug for minutes afterward because it was something you had been meaning to buy.
Jirou’s gift was in a white envelope, two VIP tickets to your favorite band. A very discounted item because her parents knew them and the fact that she was a Pro Hero too.
Sero’s gift was something that made you laugh, it was a high-quality blanket. Soft to the touch, with the ability to keep you warm in a blizzard! It had a class picture printed on it photoshopped with Kaminari’s wheey face onto everyone’s picture.
Tokoyami gave you a picture album with the class’s best memories. It also had many more blank pages for your own pictures.
Hagakure bought you a new set of makeup and brushes. Brushes that you had been eyeing the time you two had gone shopping together too!
Bakugou bought you a new outfit. It was definitely an outfit for warmer weather, and he got annoyed when you went to hug him.
Midoriya made you a present. It was two notebooks full of analysis and suggestions that you had asked for when sparring. You wanted to continue improving and Midoriya was definitely going to help you.
Mineta bought you a gift card to use at a local lingerie store. On the one hand, it had a lot of money on it, on the other hand, you wanted to destroy it.
Momo blushed as she stood up, her grin wide as she looked at everyone. She apologized about being able to properly buy everyone an honest gift as she had been busy these past few months. Nut she promised she made up for it. She had paid off everyone’s apartment/house rent or price. Or in Iida’s and Shouto’s case their groceries for four months.
“This is for you,” Shouto whispered as he handed you a thin rectangular box. “I didn’t want it getting smashed so, I held onto it. I didn’t forget to give you a gift.”
Your eyes focused on the gift that was wrapped in red and silver wrapping paper. Your fingers gently taking it from him as you nodded. Shouto had been giving everyone else gifts with things that reminded him of them. It had some of the most hilarious items to date. But the box told you nothing, no hint, no clue. The attention of the group was on Aoyama who was modeling the new outfits that were gifted to him.
His eyes bore into you as you opened the gift, your eyes widening as you opened the box. “Shouto…” you trailed off as you looked down at the simple yet gorgeous necklace that lay in the box. It had a single diamond on it, yet you knew that it was more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your life. “W-What?”
Shouto remained silent as he gently pulled the necklace from the box, he asked you wordlessly to turn around so that he could place it on you. You complied as you shifted in the seat.
“I promise I looked everywhere else for you before choosing this!” Shouto admits as his warm fingers push your hair to the side. The cold chain presses into your skin as you look down at the jewel. “But no matter what I looked at, this was the only thing I liked for you. So, no, I don’t regret or worry about buying you this because I know it was meant to be yours.” His breath teased your exposed skin and it took everything within you not to melt as he fixed your hair.
Not knowing how to thank him, you pulled him into a tight hug, your arms holding him near as he returned the hug. Your lips pressed gently against his cheek, “Thank you, Shouto.”
You pull away and look back to your friends who were still focused on Aoyama who did a spin. Your fingers grazed the shiny jewel, and you lay your head against his shoulder as you consume the fashion show laid out for you.
Xxx
“You’re confessing to him, right?!” Mina hisses as the girls called an impromptu meeting seconds before you were "about to kiss Shouto" on the couch.
“Mina-san, she was about to kiss Todoroki-san right before you ripped her from his grasp!” Momo sighed as gave you an apologetic smile.
“Y/n has liked him since high school! Her first kiss with Todoroki-kun is not going to be while Bakugou is modeling his clothes!” Hagakure defended Mina as she crossed her arms.
“First off, I was not going to kiss him,” you defend yourself as you point a sweeping finger at your friends. “I was going in to get lint in his hair!”
“There wasn’t lint in his hair,” Tsuyu chimed in to which everyone agreed.
“Leave her alone!" Jirou waves her hands, to which you thank her. "She was going to take the lint out with her teeth! To show him what that mouth do!”
Jirou snorts as you shove her.
“Do you see that rock on her neck?! You know she’s not gonna show him only what that mouth do, but also what her—!” Uraraka snickers as she was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.
“Y/n?” Shouto asks, his eyes wide as he sees that you’re flustered and pointing your fingers at them all. “Um… I was wondering if we could talk?”
“Right now?” You squeak as you smooth over your dress. “Of course right now, um, yes let’s go!” You declare, glaring at your friends as you walk towards Shouto. Grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen the door closing behind you.
“They put up the mistletoe outside right?” Momo whispers as she looks at Jirou who gives a thumbs up.
“Yes, Kaminari said they convinced Todoroki to talk with y/n outside.”
“Does… does Todoroki-kun even know what to do under the mistletoe?” Uraraka asks as she realizes her sheltered friend was still learning new things to this day.
“The boys must’ve explained it to him,” Hagakure insists as she nods. “You can’t fuck up explaining that you kiss someone under the mistletoe. Besides, they want them to get together too!”
Xxx
“Fuck, it’s cold,” you shiver as you wrap your jacket around you.
“Sorry,” Shouto apologizes as he grabs your hands in his. Heat immediately spreads through your skin. He was warming you up, the cold winter air is ignorable, as you and Shouto walk towards the edge of the porch. “There wasn’t any room in there that was private enough, and I needed to talk to you about something important.”
“Oof, don’t tell me you meant to give this necklace to some other girl named y/n,” you tease as you rest your back against the snow-covered railings. “If so, I’m going to need to fight both you and her for it.”
“No, no,” Shouto chuckles as his thumb rubs smooth circles into your skin. “But it is about the necklace.”
You nod your head as you squeeze his hand reassuringly, “What about it?”
“It’s not… too forward is it?” Shouto asks as he takes his right hand to brush your hair from your face. “If you think it’s too much I can take you to return it for something else you’d like.”
The worry and concern that are heavily etched into his face make you laugh softly as you shake your head. “Even though I can’t give you something as great in return, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
“What do you mean? I liked your gift.”
“Shouto, it was a two paid in full all you can eat meals at that soba joint you love, of course, you were going to like it!” You tease as you think back to the hole in the wall you had introduced Shouto to a few months ago.
“Yes, I have to starve for a week to make the most of your gift,” he teases and you snort as you shove him. Your eyes roll as you focus your attention back onto him.
Wait, what was that?
Your eyes flew back up to the ceiling as you saw the powdered with snow mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Your jaw dropped as your heart rate spiked. The hands that were in Shouto’s felt sweaty as you ripped your hands from his.
“What’s wrong?” Shouto asks as he follows your gaze up to the ceiling.
“Mistletoe,” you breathe as your eyes widen. This screamed like a setup to you, but how could the girls know the two of you would have made your way out here?!
“Oh.” Shouto’s voice nearly squeaked.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Shouto whispers, his cheeks glowing in embarrassment or from the cold, you had no idea at this point. “If you’re okay with it, um... I’ve never done this before.”
You lick your lips in anticipation and the feeling that Shouto wants to kiss you back. Your heart hammers in your ears as you smile. “It’s okay, I have,” you laugh gently.
“... you have?”
“Yeah!”
“O-oh…”
“It’s okay, it’s something I try not to remember,” you input as you shake your hands. His disappointed, flustered, and jealous aura screaming at you as you cup his cheeks. “You’re the one I wanted to meet under the mistletoe anyways.”
His hands slip through your jacket, holding your waist in his grasp as he lets out a shaky breath. Shouto’s eyes rise to lock on yours finally, and you nod at him.
“Wait you want to do this outside?” Shouto whispers as you near him.
“You’re supposed to do it under the mistletoe,” you mumble as your lips connect with his. Your lips end all arguments that he has as Shouto stills.
The kiss was slow, your eyes closed as you gently coaxed his stiff lips to move with yours. Shouto moved with you smoothly, the kiss gently growing in passion as he pulled you in closer. The kiss burns you as your lips languidly move against each other. Your hands moving from his cheeks to tangling into his gelled hair.
It was perfect, and you found yourself pulling away, ready to confess your feelings for him. But Shouto didn’t seem to be on the same page as his lips pressed against your throat. The feeling of his heated and soft lips against your colder skin made you suck in a sharp breath of air. Your head tilting backward as he peppered clumsy yet attentive kisses against your skin.
“S-Shouto,” you moaned as your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his jacket. This wasn’t what you were expecting from him. Nor was it something you believed to come from a visit under the mistletoe. Your peaked breaths soon calmed, they smoothed into soft and shaky moans as his teeth teased your sensitive skin.
Shudders flew through your body as his tongue caressed your skin. your mind was sinking into a sinking pit that is until he trailed his tongue to the cleavage of your breasts.
“Shouto!” You squeak as you shove his jaw up, his eyes locking on yours confused and drowning with lust.
“What’s wrong, love?” Shouto asks as a strand of hair falls into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Is this how you meet everyone under the mistletoe?” You pant as your mind is racing too many thoughts a second, you can’t keep up as there is a heat building in you. A heat that begged you to get over your shyness and just let him kiss you in such a lewd way. But this wasn’t Shouto, it couldn’t be.
“I’ve never been under a mistletoe before,” Shouto mumbles as his lips press together. In this brief hesitation, it seems that he remembers something. “Who have you… met under the mistletoe…”
Your face warms as you sigh, it wasn’t a memory you much enjoyed.
“It was Bakugou, but only because the damn store owners were so insistent on it!”
This confession made Shouto still. His eyes turning a near black with emotions you hadn’t seen on his face in quite a while.
“Shouto? Are you okay--mmph?!”
His lips were back over yours immediately. His bruised lips fervently danced against yours as he held his right hand to the back of your neck and the other firmly onto the small of your back. His kiss was demanding, sultry, and overwhelming.
Your questions of his emotions out of your mind as your ass hit the porch railing. The cold snow burning through your dress made you cry out, and Shouto’s tongue presses into your mouth. Your back arches as his left-hand leaves your body. It slams against the railing and the snow melts, and the tongue in your mouth warms you as you shudder in his hold.
Not wanting to be manipulated like this, you ignore how your body feels like it’s melting in his hold. Your mouth suckles onto his tongue. Your hands fist into his hair, making him moan into your mouth as you tug on it sharply.
You can feel the falling snow hitting your cheeks, but your body temperature has spiked so high that it melts before it can make complete contact.
Ripping your mouth from his, your lips trail down his neck, nipping and sucking hickies onto his pale skin. The harsh pants that escaped his mouth and the shaking of his form further incited you as your painted lips met the collar of his shirt.
“Should we go back to my place?” You ask as you pull away, your hands fisting around his tie as you look into his lust-fueled eyes.
“I thought you said we had to do it under the mistletoe?” Shouto questions, his upper lip in almost a sneer as he uses your hands to loosen his tie. Your eyes widened as he stripped off his jacket. He placed it onto the railing that was turning the snow into steam whenever it made contact. “Did you take Bakugou home after finding yourself under the mistletoe with him?”
The words were a near snarl, his eyes angry, his face jealous.
Some part of you wanted to utilize this. You wanted to use this surplus of emotion Shouto was emitting to get him to fuck you against this railing. Another part of you, a louder part of you, demanded to know what was wrong.
“Why would I bring Bakugou home?” You ask as you take Shouto’s flushed cheeks in your hands. “It’s mistletoe, not a porno.”
Shouto blinks once, twice, thrice.
“W-What?”
“Mistletoe, not porno,” you repeat confused. “Shouto, you’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.”
It’s then that Shouto’s body freezes. His eyes widening as he stares at you.
His face flushed, lips were swollen from kissing, and hair messy.
“You’re… you’re not supposed to fuck?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he shakes his head.
The small sentence causes your heart to beat wildly as you stare at him, your hands moving from his cheeks to your mouth. “NO!” You squeak as Shouto takes a step back from you, his head dropping.
Coldness envelopes you as Shouto nods his head, “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, y/n. I… I should go.”
You watch as Shouto turns on his heel, his back stiff as he walks towards the door.
Everything in you screams at you to make him stop, pleading that you pull him back and say you’ll still fuck him. The kissing itself had ignited a fire within you. And there was nothing else you wanted but Shouto to subside the need and desire that had built within you.
“I like you,” you reel as you find yourself taking several steps forward as Shouto’s hand touches the door handle. “I have feelings for you, and when I found out that I could kiss you tonight I took the chance! I know you might be feeling a whole bunch of different emotions that I can’t list. But I want to let you know that I wasn’t letting you do that because of the mistletoe, Shouto! I genuinely really like you and I was going to let you fuck me against the porch railing I was that ready.”
Shouto is frozen at the door, his back tense as his hand drops. You watch in what feels like slow motion as he turns around, his eyes locking on yours. It clicks, his confession is silent as he walks back towards you.
The world has gone silent as Shouto cuts the distance between the two of you before you could react. His mouth pressing against yours as you’re sent walking backward. Your hands grasping his biceps as you’re pressed against a familiar railing.
“I like you,” Shouto gasps against your lips. “Fuck, y/n, I like you so much.”
You don’t answer him as you instead sink your teeth into his lower lip, a groan leaving his mouth as you pull away. His eyes flash dangerously, something new stirring within him as your lips come crashing together again. In a tangle of lips and tongue, his hands leave your waist and grab your ass through the fabric of the dress. The cold is ignorable and the jacket around you is making you sweat as you moan into the kiss.
The melodious sound escaping your mouth stirs Shouto on and his leg slips between your thighs as you arch into him. His leg presses indescribably into your crotch, so you do what you must and grind your hips against his leg.
The grip on your ass tightens as Shouto begins to guide your hips into wide circles against his leg. The grinding pleasures you. The slowly building pressure overwhelming you as you whine against his mouth. His name escapes your mouth like a prayer, soft and hopeful as your mouth suckles against his tongue.
“It’s too hot,” you whimper as you pull away, Shouto trying to follow you with his mouth as you tilt your head. His wandering lips press against your neck and you sigh as you shift to take off the jacket.
“You’re going to get sick,” Shouto warns. His hands leave your rotating ass as he tries to slip the coat back over your shoulders.
Taking his hands and instead press them onto your breasts. As his eyes shifted to your breasts, you dropped your coat to the floor and you stare at him with a growing smirk. “Then you better fuck the cold away.”
His eyes take you in and he slowly nods, his hands groping your breasts as he growls in response, “Don’t think I won’t.”
“Big words for a virgin,” you moan as warmth spreads throughout your body.
“Those are fighting words for someone who’s at my mercy,” Shouto snaps as he pinches your side.
A pained moan escapes your lips as Shouto’s teeth sink back onto your neck. His tongue then lashing out to smooth the wound that was left in its place. He continues to mark your neck as your gasping praises and grinding hips gives him the confidence to continue. His touch is intoxicating and you find yourself whining for more, begging that he do more. Finally, with a deep chuckle, Shouto pulls away from your neck, his lips red and raw.
His eyes trace your body as his hand’s trail from your breasts back onto your ass. Your eyes widen as he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, his hands massaging your flesh as he places you onto the rail. A low sigh escapes your lips at the feeling of the warm wood underneath you.
Your chest heaves with your quickening breathing as you see that this position gives Shouto the perfect entrance to fuck you out here.
There wasn’t much you could do outside. With snow blanketing the world, your friends indoor, and both you and Shouto craving the other there was only so much you could do. Fully expecting Shouto to start unbuckling his pants, your eyes shot open as he lifted the skirt of your dress. His heated fingers trailing up your cool flesh.
Trembling you watched as his fingers reached your panties. His finger stroking your folds as your hands held tightly onto his shoulder. Your pussy aches for more. Your panties soaked from the thigh riding and the being so overwhelmed with emotions for Shouto.
You can do nothing as you feel your panties being peeled from your skin. The soft fabric trailing down your legs and you watch as Shouto looks at them before pocketing them. A smirk overcomes his facial features as you watch him. He takes your wrists in his right hand and moves them behind your back. Your eyes widen as a familiar sound hits your ears.
“I might be a virgin, but I’m not a prude,” he whispers into your ear as cold ice encloses your wrists. “You have only a few minutes to get yourself to cum against my fingers, or else… well, I don’t want to find out.”
Unintentionally, you whimper in both pleasure and pain as the coldness seeps through your skin and your pussy throbs at the threat. Should you heed his command or make him recant. As you contemplate that, you rub your legs together. The slickness of your essence much more noticeable without the fabric in place, and you moan.
Shouto smirks as he looks at your moving legs, and he takes his left hand to trace your inner thigh, teasingly, barely touching your skin. Your eyes flutter as they brush against your slit right before he plunges two fingers into your wet heat. Cursing his name, your walls tremble against him as you press your forehead onto his shoulder. His fingers are warm, but your heat is even warmer.
“Is something wrong?” He feigns innocence as his fingers curl against your wall. They circle within your cunt as you whimper lewdly.
“N-No!” You stammer. The freezing sensation of the ice is almost ignorable with his fingers beginning to push within you. He nods as he begins to move his fingers slowly. Your body squirms in his hold as he increases his speed. Soon his fingers pump within you at unimaginable speeds, your head throwing backward at the pleasure. Your hips find themselves bucking against his fingers as you mewl.
The ice begins to burn as his thumb brushes against your clit.
Your eyes clench close as you surge forward. Your lips pressing against his as you attempt to stop your loud moans. Shouto swallows your moans as he continues to pound his fingers in you. A third one soon entering as his thumb flicks against your clit.
So close, you’re so fucking close.
You can feel the pressure building in you, the coil tightening as you cry out his name, pleading for him to make you cum. Shouto muses at your desperation but does not relieve you of your desires as his fingers leave your cunt. You cry at the expulsion, your pussy craving for him to reenter your needy cunt.
Instead, your wrists are set free from their icy cage. Your skin feels like its burning as Shouto places his fingers into his mouth. He's licking your essence off his skin and you whine at the visual.
“I decided that I want you to come around my cock instead,” Shouto chuckles as you glare at him.
“You’re a dick,” you whine as you watch as Shouto loosens his tie after removing his jacket.
“You’re the greedy one who wanted to fuck right here,” Shouto hums as he unbuckles his belt. You stare at him feeling your pussy throb at the impending sex.
Your eyes fall onto his cock as his pants bunch at his knees, and your mouth dries at the sight of him. Eight inches and thick, his hand fists against his length, low grunts escaping his mouth as he steps near to you.
“Are you okay with this?” Shouto asks as the head of his cock brushes against your wet folds.
You nod your head as you shudder at the sensations that run through your veins, “Yes, are you?”
He nods too as he grunts softly. He begins to grind his cock against your folds. The increased pressure than what he was doing before makes you moan as he coats himself with your juices. Your hands hold onto his biceps as he continues to move his cock between your folds. teasing your clit instead of penetrating you and you whine in protest. The stimulation of your clit appreciated but you wanted him to fill you up.
“Will you just fuck me already?!” You rasp as you pathetically circle your hips against his length.
Shouto chuckles as he locks eyes with you, “Maybe.”
Your mouth opens to argue, but you’re cut off by him pushing himself into your needy pussy without warning. His length barely fits entirely within you, and his girth causes your head to spin as he stretches you out. “FUCK!” You hiss as your head presses into his collarbone.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Shouto shudders as your walls spasm against him, overloading him with sensations as he tries to calm himself. “Y-You’re so fucking tight.”
“Move, Shouto,” you beg eagerly needing more friction from him. “Please fucking move.”
With a grunt of confirmation, Shouto rolls his hips. You curse as his hips move outward before bottoming back into you. Your hips move in time with his, and intermingled moans resonate within your now joined mouths. His thrusting picks up speed the more comfortable he gets. His moving hips slamming against yours as you cry into his mouth. His hand grips your waist as he pulls you from the railing, one of your legs hooked around his waist as the other shakily stands. He slides his other hand down your back so that he can cup the bottom your ass. It’s a stretch and it adds to his vigorous thrusts into your cunt.
The feel of Shouto’s pelvis slapping against yours is your remedy — you’re craving him even more and he is well aware of that fact.
You’re swelling with euphoria and lust when he decides to amp up your pleasure by bringing his right hand to your clit. His fingers circle against your clit with his ice-cold touch, it shocks you as your heated body jerks under the new temperature. With the added temperature play, it feels as if your body is breaking under his will. Your pussy clenching at sensations he’s giving you. Your hips rolling against his pounding hips, and he moans in return to how your walls clench against him.
Your head lolls to the side as you’re overwhelmed by the blazing heat in your core. The pressure of your cunt heavily evident throughout your entire body. You needed to keep it together, you wanted to keep going. The head of his cock finally comes to press against your sweet spot as he shifts your hips and you shriek.
“Fuck! Please, right there!” You beg as Shouto shakily nods, his hips coming to snap into that same spot over and over. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re no longer able to speak. You’re completely overpowered by his snapping hips.
“Will you come for me,” he groans out, his voice a pleading hope.
Your head nods frantically as you're unable to trust your voice. The action satisfies Shouto as he hisses lowly. Faster and harder, his fingers switch from pressing small circles to large figure-eights on your clit, while his hips slamming faster into you. You can’t handle the pleasure any more, and you feel your high coming.
“Shouto,” you gasp as he presses a kiss against your mouth again. His hands moving to lift you up, you can only cry in pleasure as he slams your back against a pole. His hips continuing to snap into you at insane speeds. You’re not able to keep up as sparks ignite in your veins as he slams into you over and over.
Your orgasm hits your body and it’s as if you’re falling away into ecstasy. Your mind spinning and dazed from the continuous world-altering sensations. You cry out his name as he still continues at his unmerciful pace. That is until he suddenly pulls out and drops you onto your shaking legs.
Whining at the loss of his cock, and the fact that you’re now on your feet, you open your shut eyes and stare at him unable to speak.
“Turn around,” he growls. You can’t believe he wants you to go for his own orgasm with you in a whole new position. Was he really a virgin you question as he fists his cock as you reposition yourself onto the railing. Your chest presses weirdly onto the wood as your knees buckle, and you look over your shoulder to see Shouto raising the skirt of your dress.
Shouto doesn’t ask to insert himself in you again. Your fingers grip the railing as he slams back in and you let out a sharp cry as you seize forward.
He starts up a brutal pace with his hips slapping against your ass with each and every thrust. Your hands move to your mouth as you cry as you rock forward with every thrust. His hips remain steady as his pace accelerates. You watch on a dazed high as snow falls onto your moving hair. Your fingers shoved into your mouth like a gag as he grips your hips. You use all of your willpower to push your hips back against his to meet him thrust by thrust.
Slowly, he starts to vocalize more and more. His lips moaning your name and crying out. He keeps one gripping hand on your hips while the other slips to your clit. Your mind snaps as he begins rubbing meticulous shapes onto your puffy nerves.
You can tell he’s close.
He’s chanting your name against your spine like some mindless prayer to you. His hot breath fanning onto your exposed skin. The hand on your hip grips you tighter, definitely bruising your skin. So you grip the railing with one hand and the other remains in your mouth.
“Are you ready?” Shouto growls while nipping at your skin. “Ready to take my cum?”
“Yes! Please, Shouto!” You choke out from your fingers, the pleasure and overstimulation reaching their tipping point once again.
“Then fucking come.”
Your toes curl as you let out a sob of pleasure. Your arm is unable to support yourself anymore as you let your torso slam against the railing. The circles on your clit finally stop and your abused cunt clenches around Shouto’s cock. Your body reaches its second orgasm of the night, and Shouto arrives with you.
He cries out a “Fuck!” and your name as his speed spills within you. It’s the loudest he’s been all night, which makes you whine at the sound of your name being said so vulgarly from his mouth. As your cries become breathless pants, you press your hands against the railings. The saliva on your fingers turning cold as the two of you stand still for what feels like some time. You feel him slide both of his hands on top of yours to intertwine with yours as cum spurts out of his cock, filling you up.
He rubs circles on top of your hands with his thumbs as he slides himself out. The feeling of him gone makes the both of you whimper at the loss of each other’s fill. You feel some of his cum seep out, and you shudder at the emptiness your cunt now feels.
You slowly stretch back up, your body hurting and now quickly turning cold with the lack of his heat.
Shouto is two steps ahead of you as he grabs your tossed coat from the floor and wraps you tightly within its fabric. “There,” he smiles as he pulls up his own pants, his face still flushed for different reasons.
You giggle as you shake your head, “Did I really get dicked down because of mistletoe?”
A snort escapes Shouto’s lips as he nods, “You did.”
“Well, I do like you, Shouto,” you whisper as he finishes dressing. “It’s not just because of the mistletoe.”
“I know,” Shouto whispers as he takes your cheeks in his hands. “And now this is me asking you on a date and if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”
Joy fills your heart as you laugh softly. “I’d love to be,” you say as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss right under the mistletoe.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
taglist (message to be added):
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plush-rabbit · 4 years ago
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What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!
Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye
There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.
Upcoming ones:
Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ;∀;) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her
Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 
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jmblyajones · 4 years ago
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Eagles: The Bomb 3x7
What is about to go down right now…
1. I wouldn’t mind having that scooby doo van myself. the color is beautiful!
2. Oh these dudes are lying to this boy. Their faces didn’t look like that piece was blowing anyone anywhere chile… 🤣
Sam is just adorable to me btw and let me just say.. edges LAID
3. I would be remiss if I didn’t say that Elias breathing all hard like that was nice to look at…
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Elias says that it would have been good to know that Klara was the new sponsor.. would it though? would it really? You know what would be really funny is if Mats convinced Elias to meet up with Klara so she wouldn’t dismantle the eagles? 😂 lmao welp…
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Mats are you pimping out your son and masking the overall meet as “closure”? sir bye! And Elias standing up for Ludde is so cute too. They have deeeefinetly come a long way. Love to see it.
4. Oh damn Felicia… And this is pre the article coming out 🤦🏾‍♀️
5. Amie and Elias are really making walks their thing? Mkay I see y’all.
AMIE IS SETTING UP THE DATE????? SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!! AMIE IS GONNA COOK ELIAS DINNER?? YESS MAAM!!
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Elias what are you talking about? Stand Klara up tf?!? The move is clear!
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Amie’s whole demeanor changed when he said Klara. oh shit, this got sad real quick 😂
(I like that towards the end of the convo, it was kind of Amie’s way of figuring out if Elias still had feelings for Klara or want to get back with her)
6. I know Ludde did not just apply to ONE school…
Also, while he keeps saying “blah blah blah” Andreas hasn’t told not one lie yet. Your ass is choosing not to communicate and it’s manifesting into ugliness. You literally broke up with Felicia instead of telling her about London and then call her out in front of the whole class.
Have I ever mentioned how I just love Andreas. We see each other forreal.
7. OH MY GOSH! Amie is sneaking around Petra’s drawers. She gone really find something she’s not meant to see 🥴
8. Why did Klara even move away?? Wait, is she apologizing and trying to get back with Elias? What the hell 😂
Was Elias not supposed to bring up Eagles? Ma’am…. you tell him to go to hell then when you have the chance to help save the team that he plays on from disassembling, you don’t… what are you expecting like tf??
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I KNOW THATS RIGHT ELIAS! Set that girl straight because she must have forgotten. See this response of his is what I wanted in season 2 but i’ll take it now.
9. I have super chills right now. What is happening right now…
Who is the real sex addict in this family?? I fucking knew it! Mats is really yelling at Felicia like he wasn’t sleeping with mad women??? And as much as I wish Felicia didn’t tell the family’s private info to Jack, Jack fooled everyone. He is gutter trash.
I’m at a mix of believing Mats threw money around for Elias to make it in the beginning. Someone like Mats only really needs name rec but “donations” can definitely help persuade some folks.
People have really bastardized Felicia’s trust throughout the years and I do feel really bad for her. And I would like/would’ve liked to see Felicia with a girl without it being tied to drugs. I doubt we will but 🤷🏾‍♀️
This is really something they should have brought their family lawyer in on? I assume they have one…
Okay, now Jack is just straight lying. He really lied and said Ludde was an abuser… and the interviewer just went with it?? This is so unbelievably foul!
MATS IF YOU DONT BACK OUT FELICIA’S FACE RIGHT NOW!
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This man is a joke!! Because he couldn’t keep it in his pants he wants to go and blame his daughter and call HER stupid?? Naurr, we gotta fight.
And Lelia hopping on the hate train??? Girl if you don’t leave and go back to your boy toy you have contributed NOTHING to this conversation.
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She really fooled me acting like she wanted to get Felicia into rehab or something.
10. I said from the beginning, calm before the storm… this ending with Felicia is giving very Ellie Nash in DGH. Hopefully that car that stopped will come in to play next drop? I am so curious if that is the case or not.
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clearlyshyobservation · 4 years ago
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Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)
TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough
i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)
(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)
(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).
USERNAMES:
(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)
TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst
Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG
Space Monkey: i-
Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-
Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him
Gremlin: yall mean for what?
Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 
Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch
Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then
Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe
Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good
Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi
Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one
Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding
Gremlin: kay sexy
Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT
Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT
Antman: who was that for???
Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 
Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey
Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 
Detective pikachu: i feel excluded
Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass
Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii
be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,
be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you
Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV
Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?
mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?
Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 
Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one
Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind
Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4
Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!
Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(
Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies
Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.
Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything
Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch
Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 
Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all
Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...
Antman: maybe i do need help?
Antman: im not sure anymore:((((
Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD
Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep
Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH
Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 
Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??
Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive
Gremlin: your personality, basically?
Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend
Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 
Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe
Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT
Gremlin: Yeah yeah
Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact
Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?
Detective pikachu: you're nosy
Gremlin: says the literal detective 
Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk
Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"
Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 
Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~
Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY
Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 
Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU
Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)
Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before
Bread roll: NO
Bread roll: BODY
Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 
Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta
Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)
Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS
Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE
Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 
Space monkey: I DONT
Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT
Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS
Detective pikachu: He smokes?
Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao
Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve
Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????
Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine
Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE
Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE
Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE
Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad
Gremlin: say that when you catch it again
Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho
Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 
Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me
Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???
Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines
Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(
Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)
Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now
Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu
emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD
cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE
Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??
cum dumpster: i-
cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this
cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul
emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad
Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do
Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P
Bread roll has left the chat
Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???
Space monkey: now im nervous lmao
Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~
Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie
Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect
Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now
Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better
Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 
Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU
Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling
Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you
Gremlin: good <3
Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS
Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT
Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE
Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi
Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 
Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?
Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 
Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath
Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 
Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST
be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house
Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!
Space monkey: OKAY
Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this
Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE
Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer
Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???
Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 
cum dumpster: oof thats new
emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it
Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.
be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...
emoboi: impossible.
cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.
Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS
Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help
Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P
Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!
Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 
Detective pikachu: On it!
be-boop: Ready for look out!
Space monkey: I love you guys :)
AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it
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ghost-in-the-stalls · 4 years ago
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What are ur tilda hcs?
Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤
This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao
I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!
I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?
cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.
So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.
When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.
So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.
If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.
So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.
So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.
Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.
By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.
So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).
She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.
So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.
Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.
Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.
So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.
During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.
She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.
This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.
It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.
They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.
She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.
So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.
At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.
We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.
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So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol
Thanks again for asking!
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misterbitches · 4 years ago
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i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST
that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her
 i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.
just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.
age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?
i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for  abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing
we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute. 
what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao
i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill
im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)
oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.
people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have  an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power. 
every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots
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