howellfag

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mothermary1983 is an INSANE words with friends username for a woman who just came back from the dead (who not only is struggling with the concept of motherhood but who died IN 1983) but then I remember her children are lawboy@stanford.edu and impala67 so really they are just that kind of terrible family

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genuinely one of my favourite cas moments

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endless gifs of dean winchester - 10/∞

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15 years of never saying what you want to say

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season 4 castiel leaves that dream and wonders why he can’t stop thinking about putting his head on dean winchester’s shoulder what could it possibly mean

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au where the mark doesn’t do anything to dean except give him a desire to kill sam (mark of cain is mark of brother murder) so most of season 10 is dean and cas going on gay little hunts while sam frantically searches for a cure

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we need to bring back inviting people over for cake and coffee. my grandma used to do that all the time and I think it's a lost art

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every episode of spn is like okay we’re gonna spilt up dean you go confront an element of the narrative that will make clear how the abuse you endured as a child continues to harm your self worth and makes you repress every desire you’ve ever had. sam you go interrogate the milf

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Also, since I'm thinking about it now I shall share my headcanon that nobody asked for of how Dean and Lisa originally meet. This is how it goes down every time in my mind.

Dean in 3x02 tells Sam:

DEAN Remember that road trip I took, uh... gosh, about eight years ago now? You were in Orlando with Dad wrapping up that banshee thing. SAM Yeah. Yeah, the five states, five-day – DEAN (laughs) Yeah. Well, kind of. Although I spent most of my time in Lisa Braeden's loft.

Dean was about 19 at the time....same age he was when he discovered his panty kink with Rhonda.

Personally I think him and Rhonda happened earlier (spring / summer 1998) while he meets Lisa on the later end of his 19th year (like early january 1999).

And Dean tells Sam here that he was on a road trip while John and Sam were wrapping up a hunt. But Sam is like, what, 15? Dean would've been better backup, no? Definitely more experienced. But for some reason John just...let him go on a road trip.....hmmm.

See TO ME, I just can't help but think of what Dean says in 14x12:

DEAN I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.

SO, I think when Dean meets Lisa it's actually during one of these stints where John sends Dean away. So Dean is essentially homeless, pissed off, and aimless. "Road-tripping" until John cools off and decides Dean can re-join them. This is when Dean meets Lisa.

And sure, it's a fun little fling. But this is Dean we're talking about. He remembers her. He is fond of her, enough to seek her out again all these years later. And it's not just because the sex was so good. To me, I think she was a touch-stone and a good memory in the midst of a pretty shit time. She showed him affection. She basically put a roof over his head ("I spent most of my time in Lisa Braeden's loft.") And Dean-y baby forms attachments fast and loves hard. And while EYE personally do not think he was IN LOVE with Lisa at age 19, not the way he falls for Cassie during Stanford Era, I think he was surely fond of her. Had good memories of her.

As for the sex..."best night of her life" "crazy, semi-illegal" sex....WELL. That's where the "this is post-Rhonda" part comes in.

[and sorry to my staunch gay Dean truthers, I love you and support your beliefs, but this is gonna be very bisexual]

Now I don't think Dean was ever prudish about sex. And if you know me you know I don't buy into "sexually repressed" Dean fanon / headcanons. I think he's been aware of his sexuality since he was a young teen. I think he's always been a "I'll try anything once" kind of guy. But I think, before Rhonda, he wasn't really having very adventurous or kinky sex with women. I think he was still keeping his bisexuality on the down-low with women and playing up a specific Role in these relationships. But then, Rhonda shows him another way and shatters his preconceived notions of what sex with women is like. Rhonda (my bi queen<3) shows Dean the wonderful world of m/f QUEER SEX. And Dean is like "oh. Oh, I can be the submissive one. I can be penetrated, if I want."

Anyways, so, Lisa. Miss "Guess I was a little wild back then." Yeah, she definitely pegged him. Like, best-sex-of-her-life? YEAH GIRL. She finally got to peg a guy!

And Dean's whole "she was a yoga teacher. It was the bendiest weekend of my life" thing? YEAH that's because our girl Lisa helped him bend into alllllll sorts of new positions. Yoga TEACHER. Bendiest weekend of HIS life. She was turning him into a pretzel and drilling his holes.

Anyways. This is my truth.

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‘you’ve just met yourself. i’ve known you for years’ is still the most romantic thing i’ve ever heard and they let my favorite little cornfed closetcase say it on live television to another man. incredible.

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cas: 🔪🔪🔪

crowley: *kicking his feet and twirling his hair*

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dean has such a big crush on cas it makes him look so stupid. he literally sat there for days or weeks even, carefully curating a list of songs to make him a little mixtape like "oh please cas these songs make me think of you i need you to know that please theyre my favorite please listen to them please" its EMBARRASSING

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dean going into this construction site looking for the real kids and i am just thinking....in the back of his mind, part of him might be remembering that awful case from the 15x16 flashback, and that pile of bodies he finds in the monster's nest...kids like him and sam, and how that image haunted him quietly for years. and even tho the lore says the changelings keep the kids alive for a time he must be thinking they could be dead. he could be too late. he might find another pile of kids he couldn't save......aughh

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for all my bitching abt this ep i AM still weak for kids loving dean and him being so so good with them

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never ever ever getting over every single thing abt ben that's similar to dean being a nurture trait lol lisa literally raised him to like those things!!! none of it is an indication of paternity!!! ben literally picked up those interests bc lisa either also has those interests or from lisa's other boyfriends or people in ben's life!!! also baby dean was nothing like this kid. ben's whole "mini player" attitude was literally not kid!dean at all. and as an adult it's...largely a performance and facade dean wears to mask his true self. but anyways.

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I'm the captain but you can be the deputy I’m really glad you think I'm so funny

Two monsters trying to human.