#and he used to be my safe place
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Not to be dramatic, but life is cruel.
#i really needed him today#i dont know why but i got so panicky at work because i literally felt like i couldnt leave without him#and of course it simply cannot be#i was doing so good accepting that i truly cannot be with him no matter how much i wish#and then he had to fucking talk to me#ive had no comfort lately at all and have to sit there and know hes across the fucking hall from me#and he used to be my safe place#and all i wanted all day was to sit with him#and i just couldnt leave today#i waited for ten minutes in my car and then tried to leave but i was so panicky i was confused and i physically couldnt leave#i looped and went back up to the building even though i knew there was no sneaky way to start a conversation and nothing would come of it#i had to call my ex to distract me so i wouldnt start crying and so i had a reason to sit in the parking lot#and He came out twice#i tried to get off the phone in time for the second time he came out and i couldnt and i had to watch him pull away#cried my whole way home and almost entered into the panic attack#now i have no appetite and i dont want to make dinner#tomorrows friday and that means the last day i see him until Mon and we havent talked at all since the last talk so im going crazy w pain#and i wont even be there the whole day tomorrow because therapy (thank god i need it)#but the worst part is#none of it fucking matters#because nothing changes and i have to work on reaccepting that i. dont. get. to be. with. him. ever. and it doesnt matter that we both#were in love with each other#life is cruel#and beautiful#but fucking cruel#i have been waiting my entire life for this connection#my heart and mind are so heavy#i literally couldn't even speak a coherent sentence i was so just like...confused from my panic#it was strange#im still trying to process what even was happening
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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4MINUTES (2024) DOCUMENTARY // EP. 6
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#esmetracks#tusersilence#userspring#userrlana#rinblr#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#becauseigtf#tyme making a face at great's amout of condoms will always be funny to me#like my guy u are currently using ur dck for 'revenge' you have 0 place to judge here#and at least you know he is safe to fck!#this also means great sexuality is up in the air and while we could make him anything#i think saying he is also bisexual would be extremely funny#cuz ep 6 greatxtyme would just be bi on bi violence
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백공죽 Expanded Version.
#백설공주에게 죽음을#black out#he has been patting his puppy all this time and they tried to keep it from us#no I don't just take the hand off I caress the arm upto the elbow before moving;NSC#so you are telling me NSC was so afraid of losing GJW he couldn't keep his hand off him literally#spot the gays guys I mean guys#so after trail NSCs hands on GJW wasn't the first my man has been touchy all this time#now I'm more suspicious about what happened before this scene 🧐#lifetime should have done the original broadcast we would have gotten all the hand holding scenes#he's saying I'll protect you. I'm your safe place GJW marry this man right now#no actually move JW-ssi I'm taking him he is smart protective sunshine and a crazy dog everything a person needs
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i will forever defend these two- NOT to start discourse but they are both so heavily mischaracterized by the fandom its INSANE like omg yes they are flawed but they are also trying their best PLEASE leave them alone 🙏🙏🙏
as usual im yapping in the tags if anyone cares
#rose rambling#this is not directed at anyone#just some observations within the fandom ive noticed#i genuinely sympathize with jayce sm he may be making mistakes but he is trying his best under a stressful position#that he didn't even want to be in in the first place#there isn't a LOOT of people who are anti ekko or anything but he's genuinely so erased from fandom spaces#NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HIM and it makes me sad#or they completely mischaracterize him as this like emotionless stoic badass???#he literally cried during our first intro to him when he hugged vi but! sure!!!#but yea jayce and ekko are both of my favs#jayce is a problematic fav and ekko is an unproblematic fav who has done basically next to nothing wrong#jayce? hes flawed.#he killed a kid#hes classist#hes lowkey a capitalist#but he cares sooo much ab people around him and prioritizes viktor and mel over everyone else#even though everyone around him seems to only want to use him#and ekko? he was forced to grow up without the guidance of someone like silco or vander#he was ALONE when he built his safe haven#and he is so caring and emotional and SWEET and people just disregard so much of both of their characters#i could give character analysis' on both of them for HOURSSS#arcane#arcane theory#arcane ekko#ekko arcane#ekko#arcane jayce#jayce talis#jayce arcane#arcane jayce talis
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A Batfam AU where instead of going to get Dick to be Robin again Tim uses necromancy to bring Jason back from the dead. He just leaves Jason on the Wayne doorstep with a 'do better this time' sticky note. Batman can't find out who did it and Tim stays his little latchkey self with semi ok but distant parents (cus canonical they weren't really abusive just not there which isn't good but they could be worse). His parents bring him along on trips but again they love him but they just leave him to do as he pleases. so in Paris he ends up still getting trained by Lady Shiva. This keeps going and Tim just keeps reviving batfam members, if they fake their deaths and Tim tracks them down to check on them. They still have no idea who their shadow is, they can't find him, Tim likes it this way. Bruce goes MIA and Red Robin happens just minus Tim actually being Red Robin. The JLA doorstep gets a passed-out Batman with a 'I can't believe I have to keep doing this shit' sticky note on his head.
#now you're probably going Batcaves i see those fics all the time? and my retort is those are babyified Tim Drake fics. he then gets adoped#the batfam and has a coffee addiction. i want a Tim Drake that treats the batfam like how wildlife rehab centers treat animals. they make#themselves knowable of the subject. they're striving to improve their quality of care. establish safe working habits. share skills. put car#of the subject over personal gain. be professional and humane. protect welfare of the subject. release the subject as soon as appropriate.#it's just his subject is batvigilantes not a racoon that was on the side of the road.#tim drake#batman#robin#dc comics#dc universe#detective comics#batman comics#batman and robin#batman au#and i think Jack and Janet being abusive is getting boring. have them be ok parents. they give tim a long leash but fail to see hes using i#for his own fun. they never told him he CANT learn necromancy and revive bat vigilantes how was HE supposed to know it's a bad thing??#maybe they should have looked at what he was doing while they were off. (like Phineus and Ferb. He asked if he could learn self-defense.#he learned from Lady Shiva not at the YMCA. He asked if he could read a book on necromancy! you didn't tell him he's not aloud to use what#he learned! he asked if he could go to the cemetery to see Jason! you didn't say he couldn't revive him! and so on)#Tim: mom can I learn self-defense while in Paris?#Janet: that's a good idea there are so many pickpockets here a little training would be nice for you. do you know a place?#Tim: Yes! her name is Sandra#Janet: cool. if you think she's the best choice. here some money.#Tim: Thanks Mom!#janet drake#jack drake#fanfic idea#fic idea#fanfic ideas#batfam
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#braig#xigbar#my gif#his pointy shoulders deflated with age#...do you ever wonder about his scarf?#radiant garden took pride in its beauty and ansem the wise was a ruler who was beloved and admired by his people (despite... yknow)#so is it safe to assume that being a guard of this world being tasked with protecting the castle/its ruler/and the townspeople-#would be considered a prestigious occupation?#yet we see braig wearing an old tattered scarf#it's a curious addition to his uniform that looks out of place among other guards#i dont think it was added to his design to help him stand out because cmon it's not like he's competing for relevance with dilan and aeleus#braig fights from afar with his guns it's not like he's some scrappy guy that might have messy clothes from battle#i wouldn't be surprised if this was ephemer's scarf that he somehow came into possession of#and is holding onto it with the possibly of it being used as some kind of medium/waypoint#who's to say he's not still wearing it under his organization coat? just because we can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's gone#riku had an entirely different outfit under his own organization coat so who knows what xigbar has under there#i like to think braig used to be scolded for wearing the scarf because it covers up the uniform's emblem#and wearing old ripped articles of clothing isn't part of the image the guards would presumably have to uphold#but eventually they gave up on making him take it off because he just does whatever he wants#just something i think about from time to time#xigbar has always been so mysterious and cryptic i can't help but keep an extra close eye on him#especially since he's been revealed to be so much more than what he seems. who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve#i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility
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[047] Applied my version of Doom's partial invisibility fuzz effect and an accidental offshoot I created in the process, heehee :-)
#047#xisuma#xisumavoid#daily xisuma#hermitcraft#flashing#pretty sure...better safe than sorry#hey I have so many words about this actually!!!#if you wanna learn what the doom fuzz effect is/how it works I recommend decino's video on partial invisibility. somewhere past the halfway#mark he explains it!#it's basically like...for each pixel you either take the pixel on top of it darken it and use it; or you take the pixel below darken it and#use it. and the way you determine whether you do top or bottom is through a list of “top bottom bottom top bottom” that never changes and#you cycle through. so it's a sort of repeating pattern that you make look random by starting at different places in the list#second gif is created when you apply the effect over an image that has already had the effect applied to it. I coded it on accident and#scared myself HAHAHA#really neat though! first time I actually did image processing because I am a little silly but it went quite well once I figured out#how the frick bufferedimages work#I wanna make this work for non pixel art now mmm. will have to do some un-doomy modifications for that unfortunately. oh well? mmm.#already it's not perfectly in the spirit of doom because I math.random() my problems away when choosing the fuzz table start index for each#new image. if I cared enough I'd carry over the index that I ended on but alas. I do NOT care that much! (shockingly)#all it really changes is that every time you generate the fuzz it's different versus in doom spirit it would always be the same
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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imagine being in a real-life, actual, real, love-filled relationship with someone who makes life easier.... yeah? I can't believe it's happening to me either
#girlblogger#i believe that i have been blessed by god#girlblogging#there is no other explanation#this is what makes us girls#just girly things#girlhood#love being a girl#hell is a teenage girl#aesthetic#soft girl#this is a girlblog#i luv this man#so much#im crying#ahhhhh#he's my safe place#i love him
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Aziraphale “I will bear the loss of the world’s delights to prevent it from being destroyed so that crowley can live freely in it” VERSUS Crowley “I will carve out a place for aziraphale in this universe and defend it with my life so that he will be safe” FIGHT!!!
#they literally just want each other to be safe#that’s it#that’s why they do the things they do#when crowley talks about Us he means If We’re Together I Know You’re Safe#Aziraphale says Us and means There Are No Guarantees So I Will Protect The Place Where My Love Lives and Forsake All My Joy to Preserve His#their definitions of safe are different but their love is not#good omens#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphale#azicrow
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[opens fic] “moony has always been the smartest out of all of us” [closes fic]
#I’m curating my internet experience you see#dldr in action. it’s how it works#that being said remus was NOT the smartest#teenage remus holding a book once does not equate to being very clever#i don’t think a man running away from literally any type of hard situation is one to use his brain regularly i’m sorry#abandoning harry after sirius dies remus yes how smart of you. it’s not like you’re now the last semi-positive connection to his parents#all three of them#keeping an escaped alleged convict’s sneak-away-scot-free ability to yourself whilst said convict may be targeting your dead bff’s child…#OHHH HOW SMART#i don’t even see it as selfpreservation at this point. he just wasn’t thinking at all other than like#wallowing in self-pity. oh no james’ son looks like james. oh no i’m a werewolf. oh no sirius is the embodiment of all of my regrets#how many times do you think remus spotted padfoot watching harry from the shrubbery and he just went ‘none of my business’#like this wasn’t the exact reason he got hired in the first place.#tagging this#remus lupin critical#just to be safe#fanon remus would literally maul canon remus and people would kiss his casanova feet for it
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Day 202 | id in alt
Shoko, let a girl breathe without mentioning your friend that's a medical anomaly.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#I LOVE HER#also i love drawing her#the curls are so fun to doodle its so YIPPIEE YAYY#also i low-key want her but we dont talk about that!!!!#the one i want the most is yuki and we'll get to ger soon. TRUST. TRUST ME#I put my whimsey in the characters i enjoy and i hope it pays off but it also pisses off every incel#this is not a safe place for the majority#another person that cant stitch is Nanami he just cant#Inumaki dosent know but he uses curse speech to do basically it so its if if#maki kinda has a basic down but shes pretty ass at it.#panda cant#Yuta cant#Itadori cant even though he has tried 50 times#Fushiguro dosent like needles#Gojo jumpscared him as a youth.
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regarding common tropes about ganon's writing in fics, I am kind of always taken aback a little anytime ganondorf uses degrading sexist terms in fics and such. Because to me, even his most evil interpretations would probably have no reason to have negative associations with women who have sex a lot, unless he picked it up from elsewhere (like there's some room for it to be interesting psychologically speaking if that's directly addressed, but it never is). I'm not sure why the gerudos would ever cultivate these kind of misogynistic ideas in their own culture, or why Ganondorf would spontaneously decide to form any essentialist ideas he may potentially develop on the basis of promiscuity, of all things. And, if he would pick that up from Hyrule... why would he, why this, and how does that map out with him remaining proudly gerudo in most iterations if he sees any non-married woman getting funky in a negative way?
it's kind of a very small thing, but it does kind of beckons a lot of questions regarding worldbuilding and psychology and it tends to take me out of fics a little, because it's always kind of assumed and never investigated
#thoughts#ganondorf#fics#meta#I realize it's often more about Conventions of Genre than anything else#especially in anything smut-adjacent#but it always leaves me scratching my chin a little#I guess I could buy it if the worldbuilding of the gerudos placed a HUGE emphasis on pairing up#(not my fave but that's just my bias and I can still see it)#but then it has no reason to take on sexist undertones it would be the same for everybody#as to sex work I could see why it could potentially be viewed negatively if certain logics of above worldbuilding applied#(I personally prefer them to have no bias against that especially in such a tight-knit community but that's a forking of worldbuilding)#(none of which is particularly more valid than the other)#BUT AGAIN there's no reason why he would hold it against women moreso than anybody else#the only thing I could sort of see is him pressing down on wounds he know would hurt hylians out of strategy#but even then I would like for this kind of default thing to be explored unearthed and recontextualized a bit more#just because ganondorf being raised by women exclusively is in my personal top three of most interesting things about him#in how it shaped him and didn't#again no biggie or anything#I was just thinking about that#I think using the “Adult” tag for this was a stretch#but better safe than sorry haha
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I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.
#superman#clark kent#kal el#comics#dc comics#smallville#martha kent#jon kent#ma kent#pa kent#im gonna rant now. this isnt at you its at the dumb fuck who was commenting on my comment on tiktok.#YES! why the fuck wouldn't he be! he was ADOPTED to be adopted you gotta have the right paperwork in order. the person im mad at LITERALLY#SAID Clark was in an orphanage... lets put our thinking caps! if he was in an orphanage Ma and Pa gave him to the state and yk what! i bet#they thought he was an abandoned baby! no one knew he was an alien. if they didnt he would have been in a govt lab! and in a comic i read ma#and pa thought he was a nasa experiment! yk how they put dogs and moneys in orbit? they thought they did that with a baby! so they took him#ok ok ok then the person i was debating said ma and pa were CRIMINALS!!!!! THEY JUST SAID CLARK WAS IN AN ORPHANAGE!#SO MA AND PA FOUND A BABY. TURNED HIM OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES AND AFTER IT WAS PROVEN THAT HE HAD NO FAMILY THEY ADOPTED HIM!#all of that is legal! they made it sound like ma snuck into a house a stole a child! put some respect on the Kents!#and for why we were debating. he had to have been assigned an ID/ss number/citizen ship because he was to the govt an abandoned BABY#they made it sound like Clark was a 20 year old! he was at best a toddler. he didnt need to take a citizenship test or anything cus HE WAS A#BABY! he was just issued citizenship cus to the govt he was an abandoned baby in the usa WHERE EISE WOULD HE HAVE BEEN FROM!#cus i cant stress this enough NO ONE KNEW HE WAS AN ALIEN! (except maybe ma and pa)#the govt gave an abandoned baby in Kansas an us id cus THEY HAD NO REASON TO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE BABY FOUND IN A FEILD IN KANSAS WASN'T#BORN IN THE USA! and with all the paperwork they did on him they gave him us citizen rights like THE RIGHT TO VOTE#there are a million possibilities for why a baby would be abandoned in a feild in Kansas and it would take awhile to aliens#this is what i think the govt thought 'ok baby abandoned in a feild of a local couple. no family to be found. a young mother probably got#pregnant and didn't want to baby so she left it where a couple who couldn't have children could find them. oh look the couple wants to adopt#let them take the baby.' babys being abandoned was so common that safe haven laws were made to give mothers who didnt want their infants a#safe place to drop their kid off (usually a special box at a fire department or hospital)
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doodlesssss
scriabin belongs to zarla-s
edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez
#sunny's art#vargas#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#scriabin vargas#scriabin#i wanted to draw scri with short hair because i love this hair lenght on him#he looks so gooddddd#oh man i'd give ANYTHING to look like this guy#we kinda have the same haircut C:#i used some pinterest bases to see if i could draw anything that i liked#i'm still blocked#like i still have a bunch of ideas but half of them are videos/tiktoks and the rest are way too hard#so i've been drawing a bunch of shitpost lately because it's fun#and easy#maybe when i have enough of them i'll post them here#speaking of tiktok#i have an account to post vargas stuff now. you should definetly check it out#just search @.igtky and it should appear :)#god these guys are so gay#i did these a while ago but#i kinda forgot that i made this account on the first place to actually feel comfortable posting stuff#unlike. twitter#i wanted this account to feel like a safe space (it's not working)#imma vent a bit so if you don't want to read these it's fine#for some reason posting on twitter makes me feel extremely anxious#that's why i post 90% of my stuff on my circle#i'm going back to school like in 10 days :C#it's been two months already and i haven't done ANYTHING#i wasn't expecting to be this depressed i can't believe this
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