#my heart and mind are so heavy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebirdandhersong · 1 year ago

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What has been encouraging for you this week? What has made you feel brave? How have you seen God's hand at work in your life?

#please tell me it is very dark and grey in my mind today #my grandfather just passed away and my heart is heavy and i am at a loss in every sense #i wish i could cry! but i feel very numb #and this on top of having to manually crush all hopes related to the sweet one every day i am pretty exhausted #so if there's any goodness beauty etc in the world please tell me about it #the waiting room chapter

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b1mbodoll · 1 year ago

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repeating “jealousy is a disease get well soon bitch” in my head every time i block rude anons and delete hatemail so i can try to brush it off but i am not ur strongest soldier so can you all stop being mean 🩷 please

#♡.gabi barks #im okay i prommy (im crying rn)#like omg seriously what did i do!!!!! i dont do anything but mind my fucking business!!!! and talk to my precious little friends!!!!!! but #apparently i cant even do that bc no matter what i always get meanies in my inbox 🤞#like im seriously not doing anything i just came back and im already receiving asks telling me to kms and deactivate like do yall realize #im a person too.. like im literally real and i have feelings and im not a complete ditz #like what is so hard about treating people with kindness!!!!#ive spent all morning blocking mean anons and deleting asks and trying to brush off the mean words i see and receive and it hurts!!!!#im just a girl #if u send hate or tslk meanly to or about me im assuming ur a LEWSER and have no life bc i dont even do anything fr!!!!! im coolin!!!!!#i was gonna post this with the jealousy is a disease get well soon girl meme but i couldnt find it #anyway im fine!!!! (as im actively texting my therapist)#no bc im so upset and so angry WHAT AM I DOING WRONG #what am i doing to deserve this like please give me a valid answer so i can fix it im so tired of being sad and mistreated and bullied :(#i know i promised i was gna try to be more active but my little heart is so heavy and sad

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dimsilver · 1 year ago

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❤️

#oh friends. God is so good #I was so heavy-hearted this morning #about the war in Israel (I’ve been to the border village where 15 civilians were shot this weekend. I was scanning the names to see #if our guide who lives there and his family survived)#about my skin condition which is daily growing so much worse and causing me to lose a lot of hair #also I am so tired thanks to the cricket and other things #BUT I poured it out to Him in worship today #and then!!! got to watch a dear friend become a member #had great conversations at lunch about things I love #(including Desdichado :)#AND God guided my mind to verses that help AND we had a truly fantastic hymn sing #good songs picked - so many of my favorites - and so much enthusiasm and everyone doing parts!!#so yeah ❤️#the heavy things are still with me but you know what I’m not the only one carrying them

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forgotten-daydreamer · 3 months ago

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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.

#medical stuff cw #i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat #vent cw #i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay #i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated #my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition #so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells #because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly #terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle #i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer #but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first #so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane #also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia #now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine #so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved #because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe #at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months #however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?

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soapcan18 · 1 year ago

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Here’s a chronological list of Kirby games no one asked for because I’m in a Kirby kick for some reason! I didn’t include spin-offs, also games that are remakes/remasters of each other are highlighted

1. Kirby’s Dream Land

2. Kirby’s Adventure

3. Kirby’s Dream Land 2

4. Kirby Super Star

5. Kirby’s Dream Land 3

6. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards

7. Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land

8. Kirby & The Amazing Mirror

9. Kirby: Canvas Curse

10. Kirby Squeak Squad

11. Kirby Super Star Ultra

12. Kirby’s Epic Yarn

13. Kirby Mass Attack

14. Kirby’s Return to Dreamland

15. Kirby: Triple Deluxe

16. Kirby and the Rainbow Curse

17. Kirby: Planet Robobot

18. Kirby Star Allies

19. Kirby and the Forgotten Land

20. Kirby’s Return to Dreamland Deluxe

#i just realized ive had a kirby pfp for months and only now am i finally making posts abt it #i love kirby sm these games have been with me since i was a kid #kirby super star ultra was my FAV as a kid i literally have no memory of getting it it was just there when i gained consciousness #maybe my sister got it? no idea bc she never played it #and then i got mass attack which i never finished it was too hard and scary for lil me #and THEN i was absolutely OBSESSED with triple deluxe god I love that game #star allies stole my heart once more #and then forgotten land was AWESOME i was addicted to that game last year #sadly haven’t completed the post game yet but 10/10 game #any game i didn’t play i would watch boss compilations abt on youtube 😭 where were u when Kirby planet robobot revealed the Nova lookalike #blew my mind as a kid #almost as much as the morpho knight reveal #i never experienced magolor’s betrayal firsthand either i had marx for that #and lastly meta knight’s revenge was my FAVORITE part of super star ultra i played that so much #heavy lobster scared the CRAP out of me tho #kirby #kirby series

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thatoneweirdo14 · 12 days ago

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"You didn't stay up to stream. You haven't even opened a playlist." So? I left you a heart on the window? When I did, it engraved more deeply????

#heart on the window....#Oml i need her on loop so bad #you dont understand what soft simple actions as a result of heavy feelings trying to be controlled does to me #to want to shout your love but its neither the right time nor place #and you love them too much to overbear then with love despite how much you want to #SO YOU LEAVE A HEART ON THE WINDKW?!?!?#winter is the most romantic time of year change my mind #also it just makes for such a good environment #thats why most of my fics take place in winter jsksksks #🥹🥹🥹🥹#heart on the window #happy jin #jin happy #happy album #jin #bts jin #kim seokjin #me #(also no streams bc boycott)

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shrews-art · 17 days ago

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I'm literally itching to draw something for arcane s2 but I'm completely buried under university stuff, man I wish we had 14 days a week 😭

#I have two translations due tomorrow #one due Thursday #and a very big lit translation project by the end of next week #I'm also helping my little brother with a biiiig project like a conference speech!!!#which is a very good thing btw like rn that's my number one priority I'm so so fucking proud of them aaaaa #but yeah with everything going on now I don't think I can squeeze in some art for a week or so #it's alright the ideas and motivation will wait for me!! (self reassurance)#shrews ramblings #I will now be rambling about arcane s2 a bit so don't read further if you wanna avoid spoilers #there's so much to unpack what the hell 😭😭😭#I'm holding the caitvi kiss scene sososo close to my heart <3 #ignoring the breakup that happened in the same episode fhskdhjshdjdh #also cult leader Viktor yay??#I have so many thoughts on that one #the fact that unlike in league here he didn't do that to himself #it was Jayce #fucks me up so bad #especially with the 'I should've died'#I cannot take this guys #can we just talk abt how Mel is the only one person there still mostly stable and clear minded set on good goals?#and she got kidnapped?#we're so cooked #I'm obsessed with the soundtrack btw #heavy is the crown lives in my head rent-free #anyway #if I do sketch some stuff be prepared for it hehe

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welivefast-dieyoung · 1 year ago

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Kaia Gerber and Bella Hadid are the only Nepo babies who should be on a runway or in an editorial. Argue with the wall. I said what I said.

#scribblesbyc #bella hadid #kaia gerber #Kaia can't act bless her heart but that Calvin Klein walk is etched into my mind #she ate that tf up #recently i opened my eyes and i fuck with bella so heavy?? y'all don't even knowwww #that lady only deserves good things

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whiteshipnightjar · 2 years ago

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I’m still so happy

#joanna newsom #my heart and mind felt so heavy for such a long time and then joanna came back and said hold my hand it's going to be ok #i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)#she's everything #love joanna #jnew

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burt-reynolds · 4 months ago

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#of all the awful devastating things I’ve seen people in Palestine share the thing that has haunted me the most for the last year has been #the pictures of babies covered in rashes and welts and other painful skin conditions #I just know how it feels as a mother when your baby is going through that #and the thought of being in that situation without access to clean water or treatment #is so heavy in my heart all the time #It’s on my mind all the time when I hold Iris or give her a bath #I just can’t imagine how desperate and awful it feels to see your baby like that and there being so little you can do for them #I’m grateful that I’ve been able to support people out there in the ways I have but I cannot shake those images #I don’t think I ever will

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cosmojjong · 10 months ago

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my other grandpa passed away about an hour ago and one thing specifically hits harder now :( just a few days ago he'd open his eyes and say there was a small mouse on his night table. i'd look around and tell him i'd make it go away. he'd close his eyes and sleep. then he'd wake up and say the mouse is there again, so i needed to reassure him i'd make it go away. i was expecting him to pass seeing these hallucinations but, i didn't know it'd be so fast.

#those hallucinations must've been bothering him so much #my heart feels heavy thinking of how alone with his mind he must've felt

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moonlit-orchid · 7 months ago

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Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine #and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao #am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now #I'm just questioning something about someone #sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot #even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in #i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again #it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much #maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now #i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something #i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore #okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight #mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red #alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages #(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)

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shorlinesorrows · 4 months ago

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I’m recertified for my job and have also never hated it more

#Just spent 9.5 violently uncomfortable hours soaking wet extremely tired and itchy from chlorine #In a place with heavy wind chill #I shivered so hard for part of it that I felt like I was going to throw up the rest of the class #And I have giant bruises forming on my knees as per usual :)#Of course the one day it’s not boiling hot is the day I have to spend 5 hours outside in wind and cold water #At least I got medicated last summer so my job doesn’t give me actual anxiety attacks every shift it just raises my heart bpm a bit #Like I usually actually don’t mind my job bc it’s flexible and my boss is cool but today made me so happy I’m leaving for college

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rottiens · 9 months ago

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I found this song again and immediately started imagining the scenario that you mentioned related to this song, which was us breaking up with Gojo in parking lot while the rain is pouring. I just know that man looked gorgeous while you broke up with him or he broke up with you. His lips looked more inviting than ever

https://youtu.be/QzWLK6oKeIo?si=zUc3OP9olodiY2PS

…………………….

#I'm going to deactivate my blog after this #ngl for a few days now I've been thinking heavy angst with satoru and this just makes it worse #the way my heart sank reading this while listening to the song #his lips would be so red though not as red as his cheeks thanks he's holding back the urge to cry #I imagine how the rain would make his hair stick to his forehead #how he would reach out his hands to touch you and you pull back #the worst part #wow my mind sometimes scares me #the worst is that he could activate his infinity and protect himself from the rain #but he maybe doesn't do it to hide the tears #......I'm leaving now #asks #lovers ₊˚ᰔ

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merevide · 1 year ago

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i love music so much i love discovering new songs i love listening to albums i can’t live without music. this song is sogood it makes wanna die wowww

#this is how i feel with every song i have listened to ever #doesn’t matter how upbeat or catchy the song is. it will make me feel so good i wanna die. BUT IN A GOOD WAY.#idk how to explain this to people esp with my near constant depressive state of mind #i will say this to people with my dead eyes and off putting demeanor and personal history and alarm bells alarms alarms.#which fair but also. i just feel so happy i wanna disregard my well-being. that should be normal #the current song that inspired this post is heavy metal heart btw #my text #death mention tw #death tw

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screaming--agony · 2 years ago

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Dear Diary,

Almost 3 years, down the drain.

#dear diary #heart vs mind #weight of the world #sick of being sick #overwhelmed #dark thoughts #sad #depressed #intrusive thoughts #i’m trying my best #backslide #why is everything so heavy #one step forward ten steps back #disappointed #let down

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