batcavescolony · 28 days ago
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I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.
#superman#clark kent#kal el#comics#dc comics#smallville#martha kent#jon kent#ma kent#pa kent#im gonna rant now. this isnt at you its at the dumb fuck who was commenting on my comment on tiktok.#YES! why the fuck wouldn't he be! he was ADOPTED to be adopted you gotta have the right paperwork in order. the person im mad at LITERALLY#SAID Clark was in an orphanage... lets put our thinking caps! if he was in an orphanage Ma and Pa gave him to the state and yk what! i bet#they thought he was an abandoned baby! no one knew he was an alien. if they didnt he would have been in a govt lab! and in a comic i read ma#and pa thought he was a nasa experiment! yk how they put dogs and moneys in orbit? they thought they did that with a baby! so they took him#ok ok ok then the person i was debating said ma and pa were CRIMINALS!!!!! THEY JUST SAID CLARK WAS IN AN ORPHANAGE!#SO MA AND PA FOUND A BABY. TURNED HIM OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES AND AFTER IT WAS PROVEN THAT HE HAD NO FAMILY THEY ADOPTED HIM!#all of that is legal! they made it sound like ma snuck into a house a stole a child! put some respect on the Kents!#and for why we were debating. he had to have been assigned an ID/ss number/citizen ship because he was to the govt an abandoned BABY#they made it sound like Clark was a 20 year old! he was at best a toddler. he didnt need to take a citizenship test or anything cus HE WAS A#BABY! he was just issued citizenship cus to the govt he was an abandoned baby in the usa WHERE EISE WOULD HE HAVE BEEN FROM!#cus i cant stress this enough NO ONE KNEW HE WAS AN ALIEN! (except maybe ma and pa)#the govt gave an abandoned baby in Kansas an us id cus THEY HAD NO REASON TO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE BABY FOUND IN A FEILD IN KANSAS WASN'T#BORN IN THE USA! and with all the paperwork they did on him they gave him us citizen rights like THE RIGHT TO VOTE#there are a million possibilities for why a baby would be abandoned in a feild in Kansas and it would take awhile to aliens#this is what i think the govt thought 'ok baby abandoned in a feild of a local couple. no family to be found. a young mother probably got#pregnant and didn't want to baby so she left it where a couple who couldn't have children could find them. oh look the couple wants to adopt#let them take the baby.' babys being abandoned was so common that safe haven laws were made to give mothers who didnt want their infants a#safe place to drop their kid off (usually a special box at a fire department or hospital)
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3hobbitsinatrenchcoat · 4 years ago
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Under the Same Roof
I wrote two things for @halogalopaghost because I couldn’t decide between two concepts. Here’s the first one. I hope you like it.
Also on AO3
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Stanley Pines can always tell when his niece has some sort of plan up her wide knitted sleeves. She's never been one to hide her feelings and keep secrets, so the little twitches she does when she's trying not to spoil a surprise are always amusing.
For the past couple weeks Mabel has been flitting about the shack, working on various knitting projects but hiding most of them when her grunkles enter the room. It's endearing but a dead giveaway that she is plotting something. Dipper is no more forthcoming than his sister, though he sweats and rubs the back of his neck in his own nervous way when pressed. Stan also catches him whispering into the phone more than once, which is concerning but not entirely out of the ordinary.
They do manage to keep their mouths shut though, which Stan finds to be an admirable character trait. He loves a good surprise, even if he can see it coming from miles away.
On the other hand, Ford approaches the younger twins like he does his mysteries and it is starting to drive Stan a little nuts.
“What do you think Mabel is making for us?” He asks on the morning of their birthday, flopping down beside his brother on the worn porch couch. Stan levels him with an unimpressed stare and sips his coffee in silence. “Not even a guess, Stanley? I would have thought you would be excited by the prospect.”
“I am,” Stan lowers his can and bumps his shoulder against his brother's. “But until she tells us or gives it to us, we shouldn't ruin the surprise for ourselves. She's already trying so hard to keep it a secret, why make it harder?”
Ford frowned at his brother, who had always been the first one to scour the house for birthday present clues as a kid. He'd pulled Ford into many secretive late night escapades looking for mysterious boxes and hidden packages. But now his twin sat completely at ease with not knowing, their birthday swiftly approaching.
Stan glances at him out of the corner of his eye and sighs, slumping a little farther into the well-worn couch. “You're thinking of tearing through the house in Glass Shard looking for those books Ma bought us too, aren't you?” At Ford's nod he chews his lip and tears his eyes away. “I know we didn't get a lot of presents as kids but it was fun to find them and then act surprised. That... kind of lost its appeal after I... well, lets just say getting a nice surprise now and then made me really appreciate the simple things.”
Stan neglects to mention the way Ma had snuck him a few dollars in the mail for birthdays on the road and how even though he knew it was coming he teared up every time. He doesn't mention how much it hurt that first birthday after the portal, after he'd faked his own death, to get a book in the mail with a note that said “I was going to send this book to your brother too this year.” He'd stopped looking for what the surprises would be and started accepting that they would come. She'd sent something every year after that. Stan never asked for a hint and she never gave one, but he always had a feeling...
“Shit.” Stan sits up with a start and rummages through his pockets for his phone. “Did we tell Ma we were back on land for our birthday this year?”
“No, but a mother always knows,” comes a voice from the doorway and twin sets of eyes snap up to meet the fond gaze of Caryn Pines. She's smaller than either of them remember her ever being but she's standing in the doorway of the shack with a watery smile on her face.
“Ma?” Stan's voice breaks and then he's hurtling off the couch to gather his mother into his arms. “Why... how are you here?” He feels Ford come up behind him and he backs off so his brother can hug their ma as well.
Caryn reaches out and ruffles both her her sons' hair affectionately. “Did you think I'd miss your first birthday together again after all these years? I'm not so old yet that I can't get on a plane and cross a country for family.” Her smile turns mischievous. “Besides, it gave Shermie another excuse to come up. We got in a few minutes ago and the kids said you two were out here.”
“Shermie's here?” say Stan and Ford together, though Ford sounds excited and Stan's voice is full of trepidation. They haven't managed to get down to Piedmont yet to see their sister and now she's here and she'd promised to kick Stan's ass.
“Uhh... I gotta go do some stuff,” says Stan hastily, backing away from the doorway. He gets about two steps away when he turns around into a wall of solid and familiar muscle.
“Going somewhere, Stanley?” growls his sister's voice and Stan swallows very hard. Ford stifles a laugh and Stan feels his sister's gaze snap towards him as the laugh breaks off into a strangled choke. “You're next, Stanford. Don't think I've forgotten you.”
Even in her 70s and wearing something as nonthreatening as one of Mabel's sweaters (“I put the Grand in Grandma”) and a summery skirt, Shermie Pines towers over her younger brothers. She hauls them both bodily out into the yard and gives them a sound tongue lashing while their mother steals their spot on the couch and nods along, sipping on a mug of coffee she procured from somewhere. Maybe one of the kids brought it out but Stan is too preoccupied with the dressing down his sister is dealing him to really notice.
“... been back a whole year and you haven't visited family in all that time?” She's yelling now, eyes flashing with fury. “I know you've been calling but for fucks sake, a visit wouldn't have been amiss!” Stan can count on one hand the number of times he's seen his sister cry, but tears are starting to track down her cheeks as she waves her arms in the air. She pauses to suck in a ragged breath and then she's launching herself at them. Both twins flinch, expecting the first blow but it doesn't come. Instead she pulls them into a rough hug, nearly knocking all three of them off their feet. “I've missed you two dumbasses. Even if I did see one of you occasionally.”
Her brothers return the hug, tears gathering in their own eyes. “Sorry, Sherm.” says Stan at last, pushing away from his siblings to swipe a hand over his face. “We figured we'd better get used to each other again before inflicting ourselves on the rest of the family.”
“Inflict...” starts Shermie, ire rising again, and Stan holds out his hands placatingly. She takes a couple deep breaths and then lays a heavy hand on each of her brother's shoulders. “You two are family. I'm sorry you ever thought you would be a burden to us.” Shermie catches the flinch on Stan's face and a wince crosses her own. “Now or in the past, little brother.” She heaves a sigh and  shakes off the somber mood threatening to overtake them. “Now, today is a day of celebration! You've made it around the sun another year and this time you managed to do it together!”
Shermie herds them back towards the shack, past their ma who still sits casually sipping coffee on the couch like she's always belonged there, and through the door into the kitchen. The space is peaceful in the morning sunlight for about ten seconds before all hell breaks loose.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” shrieks Mable as she careens out of her hiding spot just beyond the doorway. Dipper pops up from behind the kitchen table with a grin and pulls a party popper full of tiny streamers that somehow manage to cover the whole space. Shermie pushes her brothers forward and they have just enough time to brace themselves before they are hit with the force of their niblings sprinting into their arms.
Caryn made her way in from the porch and laid a hand on each of her boy's heads, smiling down at them and the younger twins. Behind her, Shermie gently lays her own hand on her mother's shoulder.
“It's been too long since we had all my children under one roof,” says Caryn with a smile. “I'm glad it's for something as special as a birthday.”
Stan feels his breath catch in his throat and he breaks away from the children long enough to throw his arms around his mother. A few minutes later Ford and Shermie are wrapped around the both of them and he hears the distant sound of a camera shutter click.
“Scrapbookortunity!” says Mabel in a delighted half-whisper before reaching over to high-five Dipper.
The rest of the day passes in a haze of presents and cake presided over by a gathering of family Stan never thought he would witness again.
It's perfect.
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Some things that I wanted to include that didn't fit:
Shermie Pines is trans. Transitioned late in life and kept the "Shermie" nickname as her legal name. Is also ripped af and could probably break both her brothers in half if she really wanted to.
Mabel made matching sweaters for the Grunkles that say "Birthday Grunk" on them. Stan's has a tiny question mark on it and Ford's has a tiny beaker.
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