#and he is so caring and emotional and SWEET and people just disregard so much of both of their characters

[redr0sewrites]

i will forever defend these two- NOT to start discourse but they are both so heavily mischaracterized by the fandom its INSANE like omg yes they are flawed but they are also trying their best PLEASE leave them alone 🙏🙏🙏

as usual im yapping in the tags if anyone cares

[rmbunnie]

I see so much of "is post-crisis Robin Jason an innocent little sweetie-pie or a mean aggro delinquent" and after reading through all of his batman and detective comic issues post-crisis I think i can safely say he's... an introverted and distrustful, but altogether friendly teen boy who has convinced himself to the deepest level that he is an Adult Man, and also does not hold a particularly good view of adults.

The sweet little babypie characterization falls a little short (assuming we aren't being too silly with it, there's plenty of that in the comedy issues of tec) because it disregards the part where he's a jaded teenager who is constantly going off and trying to take care of his own problems like "his own man" and reacts negatively to any breach of trust or move to take care of him. But negative doesn't mean "violent and rageful." The delinquent angle is incorrect because not only is his disposition peppy, silly, and agreeable most of the time, but assuming the problem upsetting him isn't a predator or the guy who killed his dad (and three out of four canon instances it is a predator to be clear) he reacts to emotional turmoil with Bruce by bedrotting, sulking, communicating through notes, and overall being avoidant. The only times he lashes out are when Bruce is calling him out or after Bruce told him to his face that he chose to look for the Joker over looking for him, and that case of "lashing out" is just getting a little snarky.

More than anything his main personality trait (besides being silly, a robin staple) is kinda coming into this parentified as fuck. Not that it's Catherine's fault, but it really shaped his character, like one of the first things he says to Bruce (after he promised not to turn Jason in to the foster system) is that he kept her fed and warm as long as he could like he wasn't her ten year old child when he started. It's why he views himself on the same level as adults and why he gets all closed off at any insinuation that he needs to be taken care of, both of which heavily inform his dynamic with Bruce. He's constantly checking in on Bruce's wellbeing, like half of Batman: the Cult is just him taking care of Bruce while he recuperates from being brainwashed. (Side note, he's also constantly asking Bruce stuff like "what's your relationship like with this woman or this rogue or the concept of religion, how did that play out, how do you feel about it?" he is Very chatty like that.) The first thing he does when Sheila tells him her (revised to exclude medical malpractice) life story is hold HER and try to affirm her struggle. After a while he starts to act more childish with Bruce (although he doesn't really stop trying to brush off attempts to care for him) but as soon as Bruce admits he prioritized crimefighting over Jason and didn't show up to look after Jason like Jason assumed he came there for, Jason snaps back to acting very independent and rejecting any attempts to be looked after on any terms other than some kind of "equals" thing, which he isn't, as he's a 15 year old boy. Like. He's very sweet to his former neighbor, but also he refers to being a homeless child and the sole provider in his condemned building living situation as "getting by" to her.

He's definitely not. some bloodthirsty delinquent, at least to anyone who's not an uber-misogynistic predator, and he like demonstrably is a pretty sweet kid. It's just that when people say he's a sweet kid they kinda just jump to "untraumatized eight-year-old who grew up in a loving family and just got a new puppy from Santa" instead of "good hearted and curious teenager who has trust issues and is deeply uncomfortable with being taken care of, so kinda just compromises by pretending his dad is a Friend Doing him a Solid and acts like his kid only when he has plausible deniability so he can't get the rug pulled out from under him." Of course. He does kinda get the rug pulled out from under him despite all that. So there's that.

[noraigo]

some days ago, i started watching we are the series, since a friend of mine tried to convince me for a long time to tune in. we are isn’t exactly the type of series i would watch. not disregarding its charm, i must admit it’s even endearing, i’m just more keen on the angsty, adult queer love. however, there’s a certain couple that’s been running nonstop in my mind ever since i started the series and, of course, it’s no other than tan and fang.

tan is certainly unique as a whole, because if anything — i think it’s the first time i see such a loud but not annoying character, and that’s hard to portray. his excitement seems genuine all the time and i feel his happiness is shared through the screen. that doesn’t brush off his emotional intelligence and i think people underestimate this trait of his: just because he seems silly and party-loving doesn’t mean that he is insensible. he can be serious if it’s needed and he cares for the people around him. it’s safe to say that cheerful characters are often overlooked because of it and, as viewers, we shouldn’t take it for granted.

fang, on the other side, is the total opposite of him, yet it doesn’t make him less interesting. his background is implied to be unstable, which made both phum and fang be more closed off emotionally speaking. even so, fang is trying his best to be on the same page as tan, though tan adores him when he’s serene and quiet. most of the time, characters like fang are misunderstood and it’s a little saddening. he is kind and tough, but it’s not hard to love him. something tan understood from the very beginning.

their dynamics keep me pushing watching the series. now that fang has been softening more and more, their scenes became even lovelier to watch, if that was ever possible; their kisses, clear eyes of infatuation, playful banters and words of love show it. i’m not a fan of sex scenes, they underwhelm me a little (might be the acespec in me), but tanfang’s was just perfect. not too much, not too little. just enough to show that these two desire each other. possibly, it could be not their first time as a couple, which is refreshing and new in thai queer shows as far as i've seen. (aouboom definitely enjoyed kissing and touching each other a little too much but, didn't the same happen with hidden agenda? just saying.)

people like them could be too much for others, but for each other, they are an absolute match. fang knows tan loves him unconditionally and so does tan. tan tries to push him for the better without overstepping his boundaries whilst fang apologizes if his behavior might be irrational when he’s angry and accidentally lashes out on tan. that’s actual respect and patience in a relationship. none of them are trying to change the other to fit their own personality, they have already changed once they realized they were into each other back then when they were problematic teens. ain’t that sweet?

just look at these sweet two blorbos, just in their own world, happy and in love.

on another note, though, i’ve gotten to know aouboom since viceversa era and i could already smell the cute chemistry between both, yet it’s very sad to know they suffer from secondary couple syndrome. how many series have they starred in as a second or even third couple? very unfair, gmmtv, you better give them a nice series, regardless of its length. as long as they don’t keep acting in college settings, i would give my entire scholarship for a coffee shop or any other ordinary plot. they are just THAT good and i will never get tired of their chemistry. they have a kind of spark i see very rarely and if gmm doesn’t give them a shot, they’re losing a potential gem.

please, give us more tanfang content and especially, an aouboom series. thank you very much.

[transrightsyamaguchi]

blue lock fic rec list #1 (?)

i always liked when people made long masterlists of fic recs but i haven't seen anyone do it for blue lock yet. at least not recently. so in the spirit of Be The Change You Want To See In The World here's my list.

not in any particular order just going through my bookmarks lol.

sound of breaking down. chigiri-centric, 4k words, rated T.

“Is he dead?” “No, of course not.” A pause. “I hope not.” “Yo, Princess, are you alive in there?” The door rattles. OR Determined to prove himself, Chigiri disregards his health and deals with consequences. None of it is pretty. Set during the neo-Egoist league arc. it's a sickfic. it's a really good sickfic. it hits all the beats i like my sickfics to hit and then some. it's a genfic which is a major bonus. no romantic subplot just chigiri being vulnerable and getting taken care of. there's some sweet moments between him and chris prince that made me melt inside.

2. the rituals are intricate, bro. karasu/otoya, 2k words, rated E.

Otoya offers to groom the homie's wings. Things escalate in ways he did not expect. this is by one of my beloved mutuals but i'd still be recommending it even if it wasn't. great title. there's an "it's not gay with socks on" joke in there. there's the ever-present Otoya Eita Sexuality Crisis. the porn is less sexy and more funny (as tabieita deserves).

3. six facts about lobsters. bachira/isagi, 4k words, rated T.

What it says on the tin. (In fine print: six facts about you.) can't remember if ghost is on tumblr or not but this is another mutual fic. it's a take on the 5+1 format, tracking the bachisagi relationship through lobster facts. isagi's autism radiates through the text. it's so cute and so sweet and so very bachisagi essence. as expected of ao3 user smallghosts (<- the bachisagi essence writer)

4. counting crows on the windowsill. kaiser/ness, 18k words, rated M.

“How much,” you ask, “would you let me do to you?” The feeling of vibration on your fingers comes again, and he is thinking, or perhaps toying with you even more. Your grip tightens on his skin, and Alexis twitches slightly in the grasp. More than once have people told you to learn some patience. “You already know my answer.” “Doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it in your own words.” Inhale, exhale, and they all fall onto your skin. There is a chill in the room—it is rising up your arms, your neck—but the whole of you is hot. “If it’s you, I’d let you do anything.” Seven snapshots of life through the eyes of Michael Kaiser. this is a longer one but if you have time and you want to feel some Emotions read this one. nskins contain such multitudes and this author understands them so well.

5. shidou-ctionary. shidou/sae, 4k words, rated T.

Contemporary linguists agree that achieving proficiency in a new language requires between six months and four years of study. Itoshi Sae knows better. He has anecdotal evidence to suggest that a person can become fluent in a new language in as little as one week. A week of Shidou Ryuusei's attempts to ask Itoshi Sae on a date: a story in emojis. yet another mutual fic. i can't help it that my mutuals are all extremely talented and correct about everything. it's got some experimental formatting going on and (in my opinion) it looks best on desktop. ft. shidou being shidou and sae being smitten (in the emotionally constipated way that sae is smitten with shidou)

6. puppy love. kurona/kiyora, 9k words, rated G.

Jin doesn’t fight the small smile forming on his face. It’s been a long time since he meshed well with anyone. People tend to avoid him; he avoids them in turn. He stopped caring (or so he had told himself), but he doesn’t hate the weight around his shoulders—doesn’t mind it at all, really. He wraps his hand around Ranze’s wrist, and he laughs along with him. Kiyora Jin has a number of problems. A growing crush on Kurona Ranze is not supposed to be one of them. this was the inaugural fic in the ranjin tag and. not to pat myself on the back or anything. but i beta-read it hehe. another mutual fic. kiyora jin character study before kiyora jin was even a character, with an adorable little romantic subplot. somewhat negated by the Recent Developments in canon but it's still good!!

7. pink light. shidou/sae, 19k words, rated E.

Fifteen years ago, Shidou took a pass from Sae that shattered his knee and ended his career, and Sae hasn't been able to speak to him since - and Sae wants it to stay that way. Deserves for it to stay that way. Unfortunately, the world has other plans for him, courtesy of a little art studio a five minute walk from his new post-retirement apartment. this is not a mutual fic but i'm trying to change that. it's post-canon ryusae ft. cane user shidou (!!) and emotionally constipated sae learning how to live without soccer. not quite old man yaoi but it has the spirit of it.

8. year one. snuffy & lorenzo centric, 3k words, rated T.

"When's your birthday?" Snuffy asks him carefully, moving on to the next field. "Today," Don answers immediately. "Really?" Snuffy looks at him suspiciously. "No," Don replies without hesitation, turning back to a poster describing professional tooth brushing. Snuffy tries not to look at the tense faces of the receptionist and the surgeon peering out of the room. Snuffy's first year of parenthood. what is it about snuffy & lorenzo fics that just hit so different. i swear everyone who writes for them is a genius. this fic is short snapshots of snuffy and lorenzo navigating their newly-formed parent-child relationship and it's heartwrenching and heartwarming and poignant. this writer has a few snuffy & lorenzo fics and they're all wonderful. (she's also on tumblr and writes in-depth lorenzo meta so you Know she understands him)

9. pov: you just want the world to be quiet. itoshi brothers, 4k words, rated T.

his big brother and football have become the only hope to which rin can cling to dream of better days. without them, he only and just remains that little six-year-old boy destroyed by the senseless atrocities of evil hands. hesitated to include this one because the tags are scary but fuck it we ball i do what i want. it's a rewrite of rin's backstory with a darker spin on it and it follows rin and sae's relationship through that lens. as par for the course with pre-canon itoshi studies, it does not end happily. it's incredibly well-done and it will give you Feelings. (this is one of those cases where the author drops a life-changing bombshell of a fic on you and then you go to their profile and there's no bio. there's no public bookmarks. this is their only blue lock fic. they haven't posted anything in a year. who are they)

10. peak male living space. kunigami/chigiri, 3k words, rated E.

Raichi and Kunigami had met at university; playing on the football team, sharing many lectures, and living through the shitshow that was university halls together. It seemed only natural that they’d move in together, and it had been great for the past few of years… Until Kunigami’s new boyfriend asked why he never invited him over to his place, and he was forced to deal with the realisation that he and Raichi have the most boyish disaster of a flat. part of a series but it can stand alone. t4t kunigiri smut. kunigami and raichi are disaster roommates and bachisagi play wingmen. lionel messi makes a cameo in the form of a cardboard cutout. all the kunigiri fics in this series are good but this fic in particular is just so funny.

if you notice any ships or characters Conspicuously Absent it's because they were positively dominating this list at first so i'm planning to make a separate list for only them hehe

there are many more fics that made my soul ascend from my body so i might make another of these

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

Aizawa Shota x GN!Reader headcanons because I cannot get this man out of my head

NSFW • MDNI

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

SFW

Love languages are acts of service and physical contact. He can struggle with his words and translating his emotions into words properly so he’d much rather show you how much he loves you.

Hates the cold so he will always cuddle you to keep warm. If you’re both out when it’s freezing, he’ll stand close to you. Huddled up like a penguin to warm the both of you up. But mostly himself because he’ll turn into a popsicle if he doesn’t lolol

His frozen hand will hold onto your warm one and shove them into his pocket to help warm himself

He’ll act like he doesn’t love you but he really does, you just have to get use to it. He’ll call you an idiot but it really means he loves you.

Very protective, never wants you out of his sight. He’d do literally anything to keep you safe, even if it mean disregarding his own safety.

If you’re a hero as well, he’ll scold you if you made a mistake that almost led to you getting seriously hurt. You’ll think he’s angry at you but in actuality, he was nearly scared to death. He was so worried for you and feared the worst. It came out as an angry scold but it was his way of saying he cared about you.

Emotionally constipated. Took him forever to allow himself to crush on you/realize it. And took him even longer to let himself confess. He honestly probably would have never done it if he hadn’t gotten drunk that night and his filter left him. Letting it slip out how pretty he thought you were and how he can’t stop himself from loving you. Didn’t remember it happening when he sobered up and got so flustered when you told him what happened. Sighs in defeat and asks you out, now sober and red from embarrassment rather than the alcohol.

Squishes your cheeks a lot because he finds it cute. Will kiss your puckered out lips too

Considers naps with you as date as well. Always keeps one arm around you when you both sleep. Often nuzzles his face in your neck, nape or hair. If he had a real bad dream and wakes up with his heart pounding, he won’t say anything. He’ll just hold you even tighter. His uneven breathing will let you know what happened and you’d just hold him just as tightly. Stroking his hair and rubbing his back, whispering that everything is alright.

Is a tad possessive over you. If someone is obviously flirting with you he’s standing behind you staring daggers into this person. And Aizawa’s got a menacing stare so the person is scared off.

He’s only possessive though because now that he’s finally got you, and you make him so happy, he doesn’t ever want to lose you. He never wants to lose anyone ever again. So he’ll do anything to keep you with him forever.

NSFW

Motherfucking tease. Always, always teases you. And always takes his sweet ass time too that it’s torturous. Loves seeing you get impatient and beg for him. Beg all you want, he’s still going to go at his own pace. maybe he’ll quicken his pace a little, your begging really turned him on

But once he’s in you, he obeys your every command. His mind goes blank and you both are just chasing your own highs. Beg for him to go faster and or harder and he’s doing it instantly

Is definitely into the idea of bondage. He won’t use his binding cloth though, he doesn’t want the dirty thing touching his precious lover. He’ll buy nice rope for the both of you. He also isn’t opposed to the idea of himself being tied up either.

Loves eating you out, literally can’t get enough of it. And each time, he eats you out like he’s a starved man. Would actually consider you as his literal dinner please make this man eat actual food

Puts his hair up in a messy ponytail/bun right before going down on you ahskskskahdk literally the hottest thing

Likes to leave a whole bunch of bite marks and hickeys all over you body to make sure people know you belong to him

Not too vocal, Aizawa has more guttural groans and grunts. Deep hums from his chest and throat that literally vibrate through your body. Sucks in air through his teeth a lot too.

This man is a switch, he loves taking charge but also loves it when you do too. It all mostly depends on how much energy and time he’s got.

Also really likes seeing you bounce on his dick. While he lazily lays down and admires you desperately chasing your own high. His hands on your hips and thighs, rubbing firm circles into your flesh. Words of encouragement and praise slipping past his lips.

“There you go, baby. That’s it. Cum all over my dick.”

[darkdemeter]

Hi! Can I request the four horsemen reacting to an s/o who makes them hand Crafted Gifts (Like a lot of them!) Everything from protection charms,to mugs to portraits of them and their horses (prefferably a gender neutral s/o!)

Ty in advance and do take ur time!!

HANDICRAFT

◤✘DARKSIDERS COLUMN | Death/War/Strife/Fury x GN Reader

NOTES: ↳ This was a fun request to write for, I enjoyed it so much, thank you @screechinginthevoid and I hope you enjoy! WARNINGS! ↳ The slightest hint of spice? but mostly just fluffy, wholesome content

✎3.3k ──────────────── ◆

You always had a knack for creating things. Dabbling in this and that, you were raised on the ideology and principle that true gifts come from the heart. That the effort and love is what makes the present all the more special, sure, but it didn’t hurt knowing a thing or two about knitting a pretty snug scarf and hat during the whole apocalypse ordeal.

Losing your friends and loved ones did bring a dark cloud to loom high over your head constantly. Your love to create things for people had been robbed from you, leaving your set of skills as a means of survival. Until you incidentally bumped into the fabled Horsemen of the end times. From then on, and sticking to the four like a stray cat tagging along, they came to take care of you. 

And you found your loving spark to create gifts again. So…

DEATH

A gift. For him? 

“Why?” 

Poor, sweet… grouchy and sassy Death, like his other siblings as you come to find, doesn't exactly understand the concept of gifts that have no practical purpose other than sentimental value. The fact that every time he sees you, you’re nearly always making something for either him or his siblings. This occurs quite a bit, if not a lot. So in the beginning, Death was receiving a lot of gifts that you made, most of which he had little clue what to do with, so he’d cast them aside, muttering how humans were just as bad as the Makers.

The brand new scarf you made after having scoured the desolated Earth in search for the finest, softest fabric you could find, isn’t meant to help him ward off evil forces that seek imbalance? Well, if you don’t count warding off the age-old rag he was wearing around his shoulders for who knows how long. But hey, that’s just your opinion. 

You know deep down he appreciates the garb upgrade, very deep down, it’s one present that he hasn’t immediately disregarded, but he remains placid about showing any form of emotion that may be perceived as weakness. But the fact that he hasn’t tossed it aside makes your stomach flutter and your heart skip a few beats, seeing that Death can be fond of your hand crafted gifts. He’s just particular. Minimalistic, you could say. 

That doesn’t stop you from cracking the odd joke here and there, yeah you’ve seen him scowl and sigh in his dismay at the ever increasing numbers of little handmade bracelets on Harvester. 

Another example: mugs. 

Was not keen at all, but he slightly warmed – after some major prodding on your part – of having a special mug all his own whenever he and his siblings drifted through. The first mug you created was a hard effort won, since you were a little rusty with the pottery branch of your handicraft. With a finishing touch you painted the label: Bone Daddy. 

To this day he still doesn’t grasp the logic behind it, and with a scarlet blush, you brush off the subject entirely and invite him to sip from his brand new mug: Sass To The Bone.

When you first created a protection charm for him to wear as a pendent, this nephilim gave you the most critical and harshest lecture that you almost cried. He put teachers who demanded your overdue assignment to shame by a hundred levels. 

In the end, you sniff loudly with a pout and cry, “Just take it, okay?! I want you to be safe!”

Up until that point, you always approached him with a newly crafted gift with a bounce on the balls of your feet and a wide, bright grin. The sight ever so slowly wearing him down until he came to find it endearing how bubbly and excited you were to present a gift meant for him. To see you on the brink of tears with your confession sort of broke something inside him. Something he didn’t know he was capable of feeling and took the charm. 

It doesn’t bother you how he chooses to wear it, whether it be attached to the metallic limb of Harvester or threaded over to dangle alongside his wrist. All that matters to you is that he wears it somehow, assuring you that he knows how comforted you are in seeing it on his person. It makes you feel heard and that your love for him came from the heart when toying with potentially dangerous wells of magic just to ensure his safety. 

He’s risked himself to save you from danger many times. Whether that be because of his sworn duty to uphold the balance or some estranged level of love all his own; you find it only fitting that you return the favour – the want to protect him. And though unknown to you, he knows this. 

On the note of drawings, well uh… let’s just say you don’t want Death seeing those anytime soon, lest he questions your entire state of mind. Maybe you should draw a few tame ones sometime soon, so then he stops judging you everytime you hiss like a soaked cat and dive atop your sketchbook you left out the night before. 

But he’s mighty impressed with a painting you did recently of Despair, and you don’t know much about the rider’s steed, but you won’t put it past the beast taking a liking to it too. 

STRIFE

This nephilim has a treasure trove of your handmade gifts. Hands down. And he fucking loves it. So do you! Alright, at first, Strife was rather hesitant, but he warms to it quicker than his siblings, though it still takes a considerable amount of time, and dammit, this gunslinger soon begins a rule that each time you see each other, you either have a gift made or he gets to see the work in progress. No ifs, buts or look out there’s a demon behind you. 

Good news for you is that if you need a specific material or artefact to create something like a protective charm, he is on it. He will scour the known and unknown realms in search for what you need, and you’re more than happy to tinker away at the charm while he washes himself off in the shower, because whatever he had slain reeked a scent so foul you had to air out the entire house for hours. It did bother him at first when he discovered you were dabbling in magics so advanced, but you assure him you’re being careful and have been undergoing tutoring by the Makers. Though Strife would much rather you learn from either him, Fury or Death.

“Just be careful with that stuff, ok? I don’t want you getting hurt from it.”

You breathe a sigh of relief every time you see the little horse charm dangle on the leather cord attached to his scarf with a small, bone pin.

Overall, he is in awe that you make something to aid in protecting him when he’s away, and he adores the ever-living shit out of all your gifts and there is no force in all the universe that can alter that way of thinking. 

The first time you made a knitted beanie for him, he was reluctant to remove his helm, but after the amount of time you’ve known one another, through thick and thin, he trusts you. The way his golden eyes seemed to brighten even more made you realise in that moment how much you loved him. Of course, you couldn’t refrain from taking a polaroid of you both with him in his new hat and you make a copy of the photo so that he had a version that he can reflect on wherever he happens to be that’s away from you. 

Jealousy is a cute fit on Strife. From how he carries on and scowls childishly sure has its charm, and being envious of Death’s mug, Sass To The Bone, you once again try your hand at crafting a mug all his own. He finds it mighty impressive what you can do, despite the multitudes of failures, you’re determined. Strife’s pride skyrockets every time he sips from his printed cup, #1 Sharpshooter with two – dare you say terribly doodled variants – of his dual pistols. He gets a kick from his siblings reactions to his mug, but he just elbows you gently in the rib and mutters lowly, “They’re just jealous because it's true.”

Okay, so about those drawings. You drew a few of them, albeit you were very critical of these rare and few gifts, but Strife was intrigued and encouraged you to draw more. So you did, obviously, but still you mostly drew in secret… and he caught onto that. He’d first catch you scribbling away in your little sketchbook when either at home and he was relaxing, or if you both were out on some venture together. The way you’d poke your tongue out slightly and your brows come down in a concentrative manner. Oh, be still his beating heart. 

But then he caught sight of some rather tasteful, and less cladded poses of himself. The moment he whistled over your shoulder with a purred, “Oooh, what’re these?”

“Strife no—!”

He’d plucked the book from your hands before you could do much else, your pencil dropped to the floor with an echoing clatter that snaps the lead. 

You felt ready for Death to tuck you into a permanent sleep forever with Harvester. Because of the large and ever-world changing event known as the apocalypse, it put your school on persistent hold and you were in the midst of your visual arts major, studying nude figure art when havoc and calamity ensued. Ah yes, the fine artistry of studying the anatomy is a tricky one but also one of mystique and astounding beauty. 

“You know, if you need a model reference, you can always just ask,” he growls playfully with a fanged grin. All you can do is press the sketchbook to your flushed, burning face with a sigh. 

WAR

Maybe because he’s the youngest of his siblings, but you spoil this nephilim with gifts, though at first he was quick to brush them off with a cold turn of his shoulder or scoff, but over time you managed to worm your way under the thick hide of his stubbornness and the more he found it nye impossible to say no to you or your handmade gifts. 

It was an overwhelming occurrence for him to adjust to but now, he secretly finds himself almost excited to be given something new. You’re just a considerate human, always thinking about what you can make and give to others, he ponders to himself often if you stop and consider creating things for yourself.

“I make stuff for myself, don’t worry. Now, I made you these mittens!”

You may have a way of crafting, but you're still human. Making anything of considerate size to even fit this Horsemen’s pinky takes a good amount of time, so knitted wares only come around a rare few times a year. 

Despite being a volcanic mass of producing his own body heat, he accepts the mittens, the few scarves and other knitted accessories – and the very, very large sweater for Christmas. Making four of them had to be a major plan in the works a few years prior, it took that long. 

He finds comfort in the scarves mostly rather than actually any sort of functionality. Just dipping his nose to muzzle into the softness of wool reminds him of you and your scent that faintly lingers on it. It grounds him and gives him something to look forward to once his mission is done. 

He got defensive about it once when Strife dared to tease him. “You missing the human, little bro?” 

Geez, that’s the harshest glare that’s been inscribed across War’s features, and the witty gunslinger won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. 

He’s rather curious about your process and quite a bit, he will take a moment to study what you do, how you do it and will occasionally ask questions.

Every gift you make for War is precious to him and though he may not be able to carry them all with him, you ensure that they will be safely kept. Those that he does have on him, he will spare a moment when he can to look upon it, to feel it and to just bask in the knowledge that you hold him so near and dear to him. 

Humans and their traditions, War never really got his head around it, and his initial lack of knowing why you were presenting him with such offerings, only to be told that it’s just something humans do. You give each other things, especially those who you care about. 

“You care about me?”

“Of course I do, War,” you’d answer simply with a smile. 

Eventually making a mug for the red rider, you did get a bit too in your head about it. 

“It’s too small…,” became a mantra at this point as you morphed the pottery clay. Your so-called mug basically became a large bowl with a handle, let’s be honest. You at least had a bigger canvas to work with for the print and paint. 

And painting it was a beast! You decided to kill two birds with one stone, to really test your abilities and did a pattern of War astride his steed, Ruin around the mug’s perimeter. War’s fascination with the design never ceases to bring a smile to your face, sometimes you see him turning it over and over again just to watch the seemingly galloping images.

With your drawings, you just love doing portraits of War and Ruin. Out roaming together, you may catch a beautiful landscape and you call for War. “Stand right here with Ruin, I gotta draw this out!”

You save the largest sketchbooks for these two exclusively because there is no way you can contain so much detail into a sized down sketch. Nuh uh, you gotta go big or go home. Whether it’s a finished piece or just a quick sketch to have down for later, War is drawn to it, you notice the faintest blush dusting over his cheeks as he asks, “Could I keep it once you’re finished?”

For all that brawn, there is for certain a keen eye for detail. War notices all the finer points you seem to pick out, capturing just the right angle, the posing, he is definitely a fan of your artwork, especially when you give them to him. 

War has become quite the collector of your handmade treasures and he is honoured deeply by your affectionate gifts made from the heart, all for him. 

FURY

“Human— ugh, what is it you wish to give me this time?” 

Need more be said? In the beginning of this dynamic, approaching Fury was a very tricky gamble all its own. In fact, the first few handmade gifts you did make for her, you either would ask either one of her brothers to pass it off in your stead, or leave it in a spot which she occupied so that she knew it was for her.

Her face betrayed her obvious distaste for your human antics, often times she would sneer as she inspected whatever it was you made. 

Colourful, rainbow bands of friendship — perhaps your attempt of silently asking for her companionship — to knitted wares of a shawl to protect her from the elements. You believe she’s taken the latter gift well considering you’ve seen her on numerous occasions sporting it, and when you do point it out, her eyes thin slightly, narrowing in your direction.

“I-I just… mean to say, I’m glad you’re wearing it… it looks good on you.”

Over time, she’s become more comfortable about the concept, though at this point, you practically throw handmade bits and bobs at her and she’s forced to concede to it. Days where it’s just you and her lounging about your home, she may strip down from her armour and replace it with that sweater you knitted for her last Christmas, her reaction to it upon unwrapping it was priceless. A genuine, “You made this for me?” 

You could just hear the sheer surprise and dare you say it, amazement. She does appear to relax just the littlest bit when that soft wool wraps around her torso, and if you’re lucky, she will serve you with a compliment that brings a prideful hum to you and a smile.

With any sort of protective charms, Fury is wary, and she inquires exactly who, when, where and how. She wants all the details so she can make sure it’s safe, but she’s not opposed to taking over as your new teacher when it comes to the very advanced sort of magic. “Let me teach you, before you get yourself killed. Now what are you making for me this time?”

She knows that look in your eyes by now. That creative, human glint you get when your mind conjures up another idea. When explaining you want to make her a charm bracelet that will aid in protecting her, she doesn’t know what to say. For a powerful being such as herself, she doesn’t often take a moment to exactly assess the danger she’s about to pursue. 

The fact that from your perspective, you feel the need to somehow protect her, is… something of endearing to her. She’s still discovering herself but you two have known each other for some time now, she has become attached. Though she was nonchalant about it, she accepts and wears the bracelet always when out on a mission, and she is proud of your efforts and accomplishment to create a rather powerful artefact. 

Creating a mug for this nephilim was a bit of a challenge, but you settled on a more tea-esque style, a soft and round base and a bit of an intricate handle with a deep purple as it’s main colour, with accents of gold and white swirls in a marble design. She thinks it’s pretty cool what you’ve done and she enjoys sipping from it, flaring at Strife as he flaunts his own mug, she merely rolls her eyes. She knows she’s got the best cup, that’s just her opinion. 

“Um, Fury, I made this drawing for you.” With a tilt of her head and quirk of her brow, she took the handed piece of paper from your hands and… smiles? A genuine smile? She is rather critical of humans and their entire existence, how they plot along, seemingly living pointless lives; but she is mighty impressed with the rendition of her and Rampage overlooking the sunset on a cliff side you both had gone to about a month ago. 

“That is… quite talented, human. You drew this?” 

When telling her about your major arts degree before the entire world falling into a giant shithole of hell, you expected her not to fully understand or care, until you feel her hand rest on your shoulder. “You should keep at this art of yours. You have potential.” 

“Oh, er— thanks!” That was a boost of encouragement, no matter how lacking her tone was at the time, you know her better by now she isn’t the most forthcoming with her more intimate, softer side. At least not so readily. 

But you do. You continue pursuing your art and she does at times indulge you in being your model, as does Rampage, when he’s not trying to either run you over because he wants more pats and treats. 

Fury has amassed a private collection she will reflect on with fondness, her own little treasure trove of gifts that she’s come to adore; because they represent the kindness and love you put into them. 

———

Overall, your skills have expanded quite a bit, and these four may not admit it outright - might try and hide it - but they appreciate each and every single one of your gifts, and you: their little human. 

[bobbinalong]

I’m really confused.

You posted that Damijons make Damian out to be mean, abrasive and ‘feral’ but you tweeted today or a couple days ago that Damian is genuinely horrible to Jon, so much so that Clark should keep Damian, a child, he understands is very traumatized, away from Jon.

You also preferenced it by saying that you love Damian so you know that your statement was inherently anti-Damian…? So you dislike Damian? You don’t have to like Damian but you can’t say one thing and then the other. Is it bad to say that Damian is mean and abrasive? Or is Damian so mean and abrasive that he should be kept away from Jon? Which is it?

Also, your mutuals were agreeing with you. People who also often kind of allude to the idea that Damian feels nothing for Jon and they lack chemistry. Why insinuate Damian is emotionless when Super Sons literally has multiple Damian focused plot points where Jon gets harmed and Damian freaks out; proving he cares for him.

So do you really think Damian should be seperated from Jon, like they shouldn’t be friends?

The important part of the tweet you're referencing is the "IN SUPER SONS" one. It's also important to note that I made this complaint five issues into my re-read, so it was more of a flippant observation, not yet a proper critique of the run or Tomasi's writing.

As far a actual critique goes, at no point has that been about Damian as a character or Jon and Damian's friendship as a whole, because I love both of those when they're written well, it has always, ALWAYS been about how Tomasi writes them in these books.

This is how Damian acts towards Jon (again, in Super Sons) before Clark says he wants them to spend more time together, not including moments where Jon gave as good as he got, but even in those, Damian is pretty consistently portrayed as the instigator and Jon as the one retaliating.

He is acting horribly and even after this occasionally like he doesn't care for or respect Jon as a person and Clark knowing where this behaviour comes from doesn't mean he should want his kid exposed to someone who regularly insults and disrespects him.

Again, though, none of this is because of who Damian is as a character but because of how Tomasi perceives and writes him. His Damian's smart and he likes to banter and Tomasi sucks at writing smart kids and friendly banter, at least in the Super Sons books, so Damian being a little catty or mean, which is in line with is character in my opinion and would be fine, turns into him throwing Jon off of buildings. That's not frenemy behaviour, that's just a general disregard for Jon's well-being.

I've also at no point denied there were sweet moments in these books; there are and plenty of them, but that just means it bugs me even more when Tomasi goes back to having Damian slap Jon around. Again, it's inconsistent and I don't like it. Which I also said on Twitter but that may have been after you sent this ask:

Both Jon and Damian are characterized very inconsistently throughout Super Sons and Adventures of the Super Sons (I haven't reached Challenge on my re-read yet, so for now it's excluded from this criticism). Damian deeply cares for Jon in one issue, says he'll protect him, has fun with him, gets mad when anyone else hurts him but he keeps going back to slapping him around, verbally and physically, and this is never portrayed as any kind of internal struggle, there's no "I care for this kid I don't want to care for so I'm lashing out at him" (which frankly, at this point in his development, isn't even a conflict he should have but at least it would be something), it's just. He's good friends with Jon in one issue and thinks it's funny to have a statue of his dad beat him up in the next and I don't particularly enjoy that.

Super Sons is just not all that, man, I'm sorry.

Tomasi writes Damian well in the parts of Batman and Robin (2011) I've read (had to stop because I was getting too emotional lol), but that might be because that one's co-written by Patrick Gleason, who wrote the Damian book (Robin: Son of Batman), as far as I'm concerned. Robin (2021) I liked, too, and I hear the current Batman and Robin is delivering some good Damian, too, as is his new Black Label book. So yeah, I like Damian. I just don't like how Tomasi writes him in Super Sons specifically.

As for the Jon and Damian friendship, it's very well written in Superman: Son of Kal-El, they're fun in Batman and Superman: Battle of the Super Sons, the Dynomutt - Super Sons issue in the DC Meets Hanna-Barbera book is neat, as are Trick or Treat and Back to School, they're adorable in that one Holiday Special and I like Tomasi's Superman & Robin Special, once again weirdly pointing toward this being a Super Sons specific issue. So yeah, I like their friendship. I just don't like how Tomasi writes it in Super Sons specifically.

And going all the way back to your first point, yeah, certain DMJNs/Super Sons fans DO portray Damian as a horrible feral demon. Probably because all they've read are the Super Sons books, which, I think I've made that clear, are not the best books to get a solid grasp on Damian. That critique was about how fandom (and not just the Super Sons fandom, either, the Batfandom, too) perceives and portrays him and I think I've done a decent job at not falling into that same trap with my fanart, so I'm not sure why you bring that up.

I don't think Damian is some horrible irredeemable character from hell. Never have. I adore him. Here's some proof.

Which I know is entirely unnecessary, I just felt like sharing some fanart at the end of this.

As for my mutuals, I don't speak for them, but both of the people agreeing with that particular tweet have previously talked about liking Damian and his dynamic with Jon, their critique, just as mine, seems to be usually aimed at the way Tomasi depicts him and them in Super Sons, where, again Damian does often seem like he doesn't care for Jon. Except for when he cares a lot. Which, again, isn't his fault, since he's lines on paper and Tomasi's the one making him act this way. Which brings me back to the inconsistency being what bugs me most, so I'm just talking in circles now.

Anyway, I don't know what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. If it was to rob me of half an hour to explain myself unnecessarily, congrats, I guess.

[pencilpat]

okay okay! first i wanted to say i love your art! it's so unique and cool!! also super soft when you do moceit and analogical 🥺🩵💛 💜💙 i think those are the characters i find perfect in your style, logan is just 💙✨ (/gen)

so! on the topic of moceit and analogical, maybe some headcanons you have for both pairings? :3 🩵💛 💜💙

Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I love every tag you leave on my art, and the whole system is glad you enjoy our work!

Moceit:

Patton has trouble with seeing the other sides as equals, tending to view himself as an authority figure. Not only was Janus the first to challenge this, he was the first to become an equal. Janus challenges a lot of Patton's preconceived ideals and it's good for him - Patton has been living by the morals of a child while also putting himself in a role of power over the others. Janus is needed in order to break apart that dynamic.

Janus and Patton really both love hanging out in the outdoors, and just being around each other and chatting quietly is their favourite way to spend time. Very old married men behaviour.

Janus isn't much of a cuddly person, but Patton very much is. Janus is willing to concede to bedtime cuddles and maybe 5 hugs a day, but no more, no less.

Janus rarely talks about himself and his emotions, he's not fond of the vulnerability that comes with sharing facts about yourself. However, Patton tells Janus everything about himself. To the point that Janus knows about his cold shoulders, even though Patton didn't even know why Janus likes Halloween best.

Patton crochets so many warm clothes for Janus to use during winter to keep him from getting all slow and foggy brained. Janus can become nearly catatonic if he gets extremely cold, and Patton tries to help him stay warm as possible to prevent it.

Analogical:

I LOVE queer romantic analogical!! They care for each other so greatly, even if it couldn't necessarily be defined as a 'relationship', and neither of them want a relationship anyways. (aroace kings)

Logan writes fanfic and Virgil lays against his back on the bed and just hangs out with him. He calls it "nerd stories" but he loves editing for him and proofreading his work (and he loves the opportunity to spend time with Logan and engage his interests and passions in general).

Logan really enjoys letting Virgil show him his music! He enjoys breaking down the beats and melodies logically and the excitement of discovering new things. Logan is an emo and goth music fan by proxy.

Both of them are a bit touch averse and not incredibly physically affectionate, so cuddling or even hugging is rare between them. They much prefer to parallel play beside each other, doing their own thing yet enjoying each other's company.

Virgil truly understands Logan's current struggle, being disregarded and pushed aside, having your opinions discredited and ignored. That's why he never gets mad at Logan for snapping or jumping to conclusions that people hate him. After all, Logan was the one that taught him about cognitive distortions. Virgil is pretty much the only person Logan will accept comfort from at this point.

That's all that is on my mind for now, I love both of these ships so deeply <3

[isnt-it-pretty]

AU where Alhaitham is taken in by the Akademiya instead of his grandmother.

He's not the only child there. The other is a few years older- smaller, though-- with white hair and red eyes. Cyno is broken more than any child should be, but he refuses to let the researchers hurt Alhaitham the way they hurt him. He diverts their attention as much as he can, and Alhaitham hides behind him, afraid and cursing himself for not protecting Cyno. Instead, he does what he can to make it better after. He sits next to Cyno when the pain is too much. He reads books the Akademiya gives him to keep him quiet-- Cyno can't read, but Alhaitham can--, and he curls against Cyno's side as they both sleep through restless nights.

When the experiments finally end (in no small part due to Cyrus' actions), Cyrus holds out his hand to them both and offers them a home together. Neither of them trusts him at first. They're so used to being afraid and having only each other, but it's a home. It's safety and warmth with all the books either of them could dream of.

It isn't quite sweet and happy. Cyno struggles with the power of the spirit inside him and desperately wants to fit in with others, while Alhaitham finds it easier to disregard emotion. They argue, spats that end with harsh words and hurt feelings. But at night, when the nightmares come, they still find solace cuddled against each other.

Cyno goes to school first. He's older, and Alhaitham has no interest in it yet. The other students don't like him much-- he's too quiet, too different. But he has Lisa, one of his seniors who thinks her professor's sons are adorable, and a Kshahrewar boy named Kaveh.

It's Cyno who introduces Kaveh to Alhaitham, although it wasn't his intent. His life at school and home are kept carefully separate-- few people even know he's Professor Cyrus' son (Kaveh is one of them, and he knows of Alhaitham, but he's never met him.) One day Cyno is exhausted and in pain. Hermanubis pushes against his control, fraying his edges. Kaveh takes him home, and it's Alhaitham who answers the door, eyes wide with worry. He drops the book he was holding to help Cyno inside. It quickly morphs into scolding because why can't Cyno just take care of himself? He knows stress makes it worse-

Kaveh is smitten with his best friend's brother before the interaction is even finished.

It's a bit of a mess when Alhaitham eventually joins the Akademiya. Nobody is surprised when he decides on Haravatat, but it takes him out of Cyrus' reach. It's hard to protect him that way. It was more important with Cyno, who still bears the weight of Hermanubis and who the Akademiya still watches closely because of it (they're like vultures circling a corpse), but Alhaitham was a test subject too. At least Cyno has graduated and joined the matra, and Kaveh still has a year or two left in his own degree. They can all watch out for Alhaitham.

Then Alhaitham and Kaveh get into their argument, and Kaveh pulls away from Cyno just as much as Alhaitham. It hurts-- Kaveh is one of the few friends Cyno has, and Lisa is gone too. It puts pressure on Alhaitham and Cyno's relationship, because can't Alhaitham at least try to be kind? Alhaitham, just as hurt, although better at hiding it, argues back. Neither of them will ever be wanted; neither of them will ever belong. It's time they both give up trying to be something they're not. (It's the worst fight they've ever had and the longest they ever go without speaking.)

It's in the ensuing years that Cyno meets Tighnari. They become friends first, and then something more. He doesn't introduce Tighnari to his family for a long time, and-- similar to Kaveh-- when he does, it's because of an injury.

Cyno is the General Mahamatra. It's a dangerous position, and everybody in his life knows it. So, when he's severely injured on a mission, it isn't a surprise. Alhaitham and Cyrus wait in anxious silence when Tighnari hears the news and rushes over. Cyno is fine (relatively), but those few tense hours cement one thing: Alhaitham and Tighnari loathe each other. 

Alhaitham thinks that Cyno can-- and should-- do better than some amurta botany student. Tighnari thinks Alhaitham is stuck up and intolerable. Cyrus and Cyno think they're both idiots. Eventually, they find some common ground. They both care about Cyno and would both cut somebody down for hurting him. That's good enough. Besides, it means Cyno will stop coming to Alhaitham's door in the middle of the night, bloodied from a mission but refusing to see a doctor. He can go bother Tighnari instead, who has actual medical training.

When Kaveh builds The Palace of Alcazarzaray and finds nothing left afterwards, Alhaitham offers him a place to stay. Kaveh agrees under one condition-- don't tell Cyno what happened. It's a little complicated, considering Cyno tends to show up unannounced. Sometimes he's hurt, other times he's bored, or just wants to see Alhaitham. He walks in as Kaveh and Alhaitham eat breakfast one morning, visibly shocked to see Kaveh for the first time in years. Alhaitham meets his eyes and tells him, "Don't ask." So Cyno doesn't. He knows Alhaitham well enough that don't ask means don't ask. 

The Archon Quest is hell. Cyno disappears without saying goodbye-- he can't risk endangering his family, so only Tighnari knows what's happening. Alhaitham promises Cyrus that he'll find Cyno, and follows the trail of the Divine Knowledge Capsule because he hopes it will lead him to his brother. (He'll never admit to being afraid. He's supposed to be beyond that now-- an adult, not the small child hiding behind Cyno-- but what if the Akademiya was involved? What if Cyno is hurt or dead?)

There's no fight outside Aaru Village, just exasperation and some cutting words that neither of them takes seriously. They're long used to each other's bite, and it involves more eye rolling than not, but everybody else decides they must hate each other.

Alhaitham doesn't know that the Akademiya compiled information on Cyno, but he can still make an educated guess. Cyno is hurt in a way few others can notice (only Cyrus, Tighnari, and Kaveh, but none of them are there), but Alhaitham does, and it makes him furious at the Akademiya. Cyno hates Alhaitham's plan to rescue Nahida because it's dangerous. If it goes wrong, Alhaitham will be on the front line, but they both know the role they have to play. (Alhaitham refuses to hide behind Cyno again. Let him protect his brother for once.)

It's only after all is said and done, as they sit among their friends at Nilou's party, that everybody figures out that they're brothers. Nahida drops the information casually, mentioning, "you and your brother," to Cyno. The general consensus is, "You're WHAT?!"

Alhaitham and Cyno, unconcerned and speaking in exasperated unison, "We're adopted." 

[softpascalito]

Pedro Pascal Kinktober Day Nineteen

Brushing Teeth - Joel Miller/F!Reader

Summary: Grief is cruel and just because you and Joel live in the safe haven that is the Jackson community it does not mean you're immune to it.

Possibly the saddest (but also kinda best) thing I have written so far.

Relationships: Joel Miller x F!Reader

WC: 2400

Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Established Relationship, jackson era, No use of y/n, Crying, past trauma, Survivor Guilt, Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Tooth Brushing, This is like seriously sad pls beware, Author has already scheduled a therapist appointment

AO3 LINK

notes: a huge thank you to my beta babes maria and aura for reading this a month in advance. i love you both so much.

this is a really, really sad fic. it's likely not gonna go the way you think. please continue with caution <3

_________________________________________

Circles

He died just after sunrise.

It had been supposed to be a simple shift, guarding the perimeter from one of the high posts along the fence that stretched around Jackson. The wood had been icy, slippery. There had been a railing. But when his heart had failed and he had collapsed to the ground, slipping over it like an ice rink, it hadn't been able to stop his body from falling.

There was nothing that could have been done. He had been old, older than most. Even with modern medicine, his condition would have caught up to him sooner or later.

Fate had decided on sooner.

Word hadn't reached Joel before he had left for patrol and so he had spent the day clearing Infected and checking the lookouts, unaware of the tragedy that had, for once, struck within the very borders of home. It wasn't until he came back in the early evening, that he noticed something was off.

There were no children bustling around on the playground, no adults studying the notice boards to see which movie was on tonight or who offered guitar lessons. Curtains were drawn shut. It was quiet.

The somber look on Tommy's face, who was waiting for Joel at the stables, was enough to send him into a panic.

Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?

Tommy must have seen it coming because he had already raised his hands, as if surrendering to his brother, ”They're both fine.” Joel nodded solemnly as Tommy explained, repeating the events of the day in a few words.

He could live with that. As long as it wasn 't Ellie. Or you. Never you.

Ellie had spent the day with you, trying to look after you, doing the best she could. She was waiting in the large armchair in the living room, as close to the front door as she physically could.

Joel practically barges in, his gaze quickly checking the adjacent rooms. When he sees Ellie, he immediately relaxes a bit, knowing that at least someone has been here. Someone who kept watch.

“How is she?” He asks, disregarding any need for a greeting towards the teenager. She doesn't seem to mind, instead hopping up from the seat and walking with him, the pair quickly moving through the hallway.

“I gave her some food. I don't think she ate any of it. She wouldn't talk to me either. I'm sorry, Joel, I-'' He quickly shakes his head. He'll take care of Ellie, reassure her that she did a good job, which he undoubtedly knows she did. But Ellie is not the person in this house who needs him the most right now. Ellie is not the person who lost someone today.

“Later, okay?” Joel demands softly. His voice carries an underlying, stern tone that he rarely uses anymore. In other circumstances, Ellie would get mad at him, but she understands. He is in survival mode. He is making sure the people he loves are still there. He is scared.

Joel remembers your form that he had left behind this morning. Still in bed, sleepy, only reluctantly pressing a small kiss to his lips, the sweet promise of a few more minutes of sleep too tempting to ignore. He remembers the night before, the bubbly, talkative personality you usually have, that is a just little too much for him sometimes.

Your world had changed in just a few hours, a few minutes. And he hadn't been here.

Why had he not been here?

“Are you okay?” Ellie asks hesitantly and only then Joel realizes that he's stopped in the middle of the hallway. He continues his steps.

“Why wouldn't I be?” Ellie gives a shrug next to him but Joel barely notices, still too caught up in his thoughts.

He needs to see you. See that you are fine, just like Tommy had promised. Not truly fine, maybe, but alive. Breathing.

As they reach the old, wooden staircase, Ellie stops, taking in Joels gaze, that to her, still seems miles away, ”She wouldn't leave the bed. I barely recognized her.”

Joel just nods, his worry growing with every word. His grip on the banister tightens slightly, knuckles turning white.

“Go see her,” Ellie whispers and gently nudges him.

“Right.” That finally gets Joel to move again, his voice a little higher than usual and trembling slightly. Ellie knows he is close to crying. She presses her fist into his back a little harder and he nods again before he hurries up the stairs two steps at a time.

It's not until he reaches the end of the landing, until he is two steps away from the bedroom door that he slows down. Once again, uncertainty takes over his body. What does he say? Do? He's not equipped to handle this, he's not good with emotions, much less sad ones.

He's not sure what happens. An instinct takes over, steering his body steadily towards the door and pulling his fingers towards the brass handle. Maybe it's some old, parental instinct from before the outbreak, that he still carries buried in the back of his mind. Either way, he sends a silent, thankful prayer that it's there, that it allows him to continue putting one foot in front of the other despite having no idea how to.

The wooden door creaks slightly as he pushes it open. It's a familiar sound, more comforting than unnerving.

Joel is greeted by cold and darkness. He shivers as he steps into the room:'' Jesus Christ.” He mutters under his breath. He doesn't have to wait until his eyes adjust to the light. He can find his way in the darkness. 

He quickly turns the radiator higher, another familiar noise flaring up. Familiar is good. Familiar is safe.

He doesn't want to turn on the big light but he finds the switch for the small lamp in the corner and finally, he can take in the scene before him. His gaze is immediately caught by the bed in the middle of the room.

Whenever he goes out on patrol and you get the bed to yourself, you make use of his absence by occupying the entire bed, sprawling yourself out in the middle of the worn-out mattress. More than once, he had to physically fight you if he wanted his side of the bed back.

Now, however, you aren't in your usual position. You are curled up, tucked into the far corner of the bed, blankets and pillows wrapped around what Joel can only assume to be your body, some of them resting against the headboard.

It almost looks like you are trying to protect yourself, shield yourself from the grief that is knocking on the door downstairs, that is coming the same way he just has, slipping into the dark, cold room. A nest, to fend off the grief. Joel knows it wont work. He has tried.

A few of your limbs poke out from holes in the fortress of pillows and blankets and Joel softens slightly as his gaze wanders over them. He suddenly wants to run again, but he is afraid it'll startle you so instead, he approaches slowly, softly, like one may approach a wounded animal.

The bed dips slightly beside you as he sits down, his strong arms immediately wandering under the covers, searching for you. He finds the fabric of a shirt first, and then there's skin. Soft, gentle skin and he wants to cry with the familiarity of it. Looking down, he isn't surprised to see the shirt he had discarded last night, his favorite green flannel, now wrapped around your trembling body.

The thoughts come back. A small body, wrapped in a flannel shirt. He has seen it often enough to fill several lifetimes. He doesn't mind it anymore.

He knows it's a lie. He does mind it.

They had wrapped Sarah in flannel.

He can still see her. Still see the shirt, stained with blood. There had been so much blood.

Joel thinks about his daughter, his everything, his whole world, taken from him, wrapped in a shirt and buried in a backyard under a tree somewhere in Texas.

Joel knows he can't have these thoughts right now. He takes a deep breath, filling his lungs until they feel like they're bursting. He pushes the thoughts away. Later.

His right arm finds your hair and you finally make a noise, whimpering softly at finally, finally having him here with you.

The blanket is gently pulled to the side, allowing Joel to see your face. Your hair is messy, your cheeks tear-streaked, eyes red and puffy from crying. You look like you have just been through hell.

Joel reminds himself you probably have.

His insides clench as he pushes down his own tears. And then you open your mouth.

“It was supposed to be my shift.”

That's all it takes. He hates himself because he's supposed to be there for you, he's supposed to be strong. But the fear is stronger, the knowledge that he could've lost you today gripping him again and not letting him breathe.

He leans forward in an attempt to hide his tears, his face, his own sorrow and you break too, shamelessly sobbing into his chest. You stay entangled like this, bodies pressed tightly together, you crying loudly and him crying silently. It feels like a long time. Your voice becomes hoarse but the sobs wont stop. You're not sure they ever will.

Joel moves, eventually, kneeling down on the floor so that his face is level with yours and he can study your face. His hands remain on your skin, not once breaking contact. He rubs small circles into your skin, caressing every part of you he can reach. 

Nothing can touch you as long as he does.

“Gonna help you a bit. That alright, darlin'?” He mumbles softly. Your answer comes automatically, the same one you've given Ellie throughout the day, ''I'm not hungry.”

“I know you ain't,” Joel mumbles. He lets it slide:” But we should clean you up. Just a bit.” He promises as he leans forward and kisses your cheek. You don't struggle as he picks you up more carefully than ever, hoisting you onto his hips and wrapping his arms around your legs to keep you upright against his chest. It's almost like being carried by a father.

Joel takes you into the bathroom, sitting you down on the counter. There is a bald patch on the wall where a mirror used to be until he gave it to Ellie. He always gives.

Patiently, he waits until the water is lukewarm and then begins wiping your face with a washcloth. You probably smell but you can't bring yourself to care and neither does Joel.

He moves on to your hair, untying the knot that once resembled some sort of hairstyle and brushing through it with his fingers for a moment before tying it back again. His movements are so gentle, so smooth. You watch as he grabs your toothbrush, gently wetting it and putting some toothpaste on, his left hand all the while remaining on your thigh.

Joel gently nudges the toothbrush against your mouth and you dutifully open up, allowing him to start brushing your teeth, still as gentle as he can.

He can feel the sadness again, threatening to overwhelm him. He brushes in small circles.

The last time he had done this was with Sarah. She was eight. She had been sick then, caught a stomach bug at soccer camp and thrown up for days. Joel had dragged his mattress to her room, sleeping beside her.

He moves on to the other side of your mouth. More circles.

Sarah had vomited on him, in the middle of the night, staining both the carpet and his pants. He hadn't batted an eye, just stripped the beds and taken her to the bathroom to clean her up. All he had needed was for her to feel better. And if him enduring it would lessen her suffering, he would have chosen it time and time again.

He doesn't say this. He thinks he may, some day. But not anytime soon.

Circles. Joel brushes in circles.

When he's done, he holds a cup to your lips and you lean sideward, spitting into the sink. He is still caressing your thigh, a constant, reassuring touch. He brings his other hand up to your face, using his thumb to wipe the last bit of toothpaste off the corner of your mouth.

“Let's get back to bed, hm?” You don't trust your voice again yet so you just nod and sniffle a bit. As he picks you up again, you feel another wave, a nauseous wave of grief coming down on you. You think he feels it too because he grips you a little tighter. You start crying again.

You return to the mess of pillows and blankets that still cover half the bed. But now he is there with you. His too large frame under the covers next to you, watching with sad, brown eyes as you curl up against him. He pats your hair, leans down and gently presses a kiss to your forehead. It has been ages.

The small streak of light that falls through a hole in the blankets reflects in his broken watch for a split moment. He looks down at it, the motion so familiar still. And he knows. He knows how you feel.

“Get some rest, babygirl,” he whispers. He'll do right by you. He won't let you go through the things he did. You close your eyes, taking in his smell, his warmth. It feels different now.

It could've been her. It could've been her. Thank god it wasn't her.

You're still in his arms, you're still here, still breathing, chest falling and rising in a semi-steady rhythm. He makes the choice in that moment. Or, he realizes it. He feels like he has made it a long time ago.

He will endure it. He will endure everything if it just takes away a little of your grief, of your pain.

He doesn't need to say it. It's an unspoken truth.

Joel Miller will be there.

[bluegarners]

Which one do you dislike more? Himbo adult Dick Grayson or Tiny angry baby Dick Grayson?

oh hmm, good question anon

the thing is is that i can appreciate the pros and cons of both. i like it when dick grayson, this big, lean, athletic looking man has kind, humble eyes and an easy smile and a "devil may care, im just here to have a good time" attitude. it's sweet and i think it plays to his character well- but only as a general persona and not as his like "one true character" bit. he has facets, he has different faces he shows to certain people, and that doesnt make any one of them any more real or false than the other. he's not going to bring the same level of intensity he might have with batman to a random civilian. he's not going to make silly mistakes and laugh at himself like he would with the titans in front of batman (well sometimes, but i think there's a difference in how he feels/acts around both that it can be percieved)

and i also like the abstract concept of a much younger, freshly traumatized dick grayson. it's a very compelling first look at his character, the first one anyone ever gets to see of him, including himself! i like the idea of this raw, potent, violent anger being something dick is also newly discovering. i like the idea of self-realization through anger and grief as a propelling force, not only between himself and bruce, but also how he chooses to act to and in the world from then on. it's a beautiful progression of horrible grief, aching, festering anger, and then a gradual evolution into someone who still feels things powerfully but can now decide how he wants to portray those feelings and how to act on them. it's especially compelling when he reverts back to that instinctual anger again when he's overwhelmed and stressed, something that doesn't happen frequently in his adult self

however.

if we are describing these qualities as flat "himbo adult" and "feral baby", then i would just never interact ever again because they are so lacking and so boring-- ive always wondered if people who genuinely enjoy such basic character interpretations even enjoy complexity and how that affects how they interact with people irl

but, ultimately, to answer your question anon, i dislike himbo adult dick grayson more. it infantilizes him so much and disregards his years of expertise, ability, and emotional growth to the point of making him an entirely different character. i honestly am not sure when this characterization of him got started or got popular because its so absurd and different from his real character. i get the feeling it was just another instance of people wanting to assign each of the bat-family members a certain role, and since "intelligent" was relegated to tim, "brute/strong" to jason, and then "feral" to damian, the only "personality" left over was cinnamon roll. eurgh

[bonesandthebees]

Hey, just wanted to check in on you. I know a lot of your fics center around cwilbur/ctommy. I hope you’re doing ok with the news. I’m so proud of the community not tolerating this.

I feel kind of guilty though. I listened heavily to love joy as I related to it and it’s been helping me get through rough times. But now I’m sitting here wondering “does that make me a bad person?”. I stopped listening to Lovejoy YCMGA and MSR but am I a bad person for relating to those songs?

I can’t listen to them anymore without feeling sick, knowing something that once brought me so much comfort was created by a man doing the same thing I’m trying to escape from.

I still want to listen to them sometimes though, but I refuse to support a man like that. I’m also a little nervous about fics. Me and my brother would read your fics together as a way to bond even through long distance living. cwilbur was one of my brother’s favorite characters and he loves your fics.

I haven’t talked with him about it yet, though I probably should. I feel like all in all I just need time to plant my feet and get it back together.

But in the meantime I am so endlessly proud for seeing how everyone has been encouraging and supporting Shelby. I know how scary it is to speak up about what has been done to you and I’m so proud of her. I’m also proud of how the community has refused to support him at all.

Shutting down accounts, turning the Wilbur subreddit into a Wilbur Wright subreddit, I’m proud that so many people have taken action while the rest of us are still reeling

Thank you for letting me vent, I hope you are taking time and space to care for yourself during this as well

thank you anon, I spent the last week talking extensively with people in my inbox about the whole wilbur situation and it really helped me process a lot of my emotions at the time so I'm doing alright now. while I'm not taking any of my old fics down, I'm still figuring out what I'm going to do with my ongoing fics that center around c!wilbur, so we'll see where I end up landing with that

I'm also so incredibly proud of the community for not tolerating this. like, you gotta admit, this was one of the most cohesive ways I've ever seen a fanbase dissolve. sure there are still some freaks sticking around, but the vast majority of us got up and left.

now, don't ever feel like you're a bad person for relating to the lyrics wilbur wrote. although many of the songs feel different now with this new information about him as a person, he wrote about mental struggles in a way that MANY people connected with. there's nothing wrong with having those kinds of struggles. what's wrong is when someone dealing with those kinds of things is hurting other people, is made aware they're hurting other people, and then refuses to do anything to try and change for the better. wilbur refused to try and be a better person. he chose to keep abusing his partner and hurting the people around him. that's what makes a bad person.

I do think separation of art vs artist is possible, but it gets trickier when financial support comes in. that's why I suggest if you want to keep listening to lovejoy, piracy is always an option. the mp3 youtube downloader is your best friend there. MSR is a bit trickier though given that we know MSR was entirely written about wilbur's perspective of his and shelby's relationship, and now we know the truth of what that relationship was actually like. his own narrative that disregards the abuse is what makes up the album itself. personally, I don't think I could ever listen to MSR again without feeling gross.

that makes me really happy to hear you and your brother bonded while reading my fics. like man that's so sweet, I really hope you two will be able to keep enjoying the same things. whether you're both able to separate character from cc and continue reading c!wilbur content, or finding another interest to share in the future. take your time though. there's no rush to talk to him. let your feelings settle.

and yes I'm also incredibly proud of shubble as I'm sure we all are. coming forward like this is a terrifying thing to do but I'm so grateful she did, because now we all are aware and aren't unintentionally platforming a dangerous person like that. I'm so proud of this community. we really all came together in the end.

take care of yourself <3

[grimalkinmessor]

Mikalight raising baby L how would they handle it?

Well, it depends on the circumstances really. For example, if it's a canon-esque AU where Kira Wins and Mikami and Light are happily ruling dystopia together, and then a reincarnated/poofed baby L appears, then I imagine it'd be a long learning process and lots of shenanigans. Especially if L remembers his past life. Pranks and both Light and Mikami tearing their hair out would abound. Tiny L wrecking havoc on their supposed utopia from the inside; but he can't do any TRUE damage because he's still too small to reach the computer :/ Bummer.

But I also have a fic in the works right now that's KINDA like this?? Just with a far darker twist and L being Light and Misa's biological child—HOWEVER given that Mikami is Light's boyfriend in that AU, I think I could swing it :D

Disregarding the darker notes of this verse (which essentially means getting rid of Misa's involvement almost entirely), I think Mikalight would make wonderful parents. Or,,,,maybe not wonderful, but certainly efficient parents. Mikami and Light move in together once he is given (saddled with) custody of L, and so now solemn toddler L is being taken care of by two of the most anally responsible people in the world.

Light makes sure that L has a balanced diet and, after several knock-down drag-out fights and tantrums, also manages to seamlessly include L's enormous sweet tooth with homemade cakes and pastries.

L inherited aallll of Light's autism and exactly NONE of his ability or desire to mask. Mikami, the stoic bastard, doesn't help this much at all. But L's original recalcitrance towards him is quickly appeased by the knowledge that he can simply look at Mikami a certain way and immediately be hoisted up to be carried around on his shoulders. Light disapproves but even when Mikami attempts to stop L just learns how to climb him and perch on his shoulders anyway. Mikami is largely physically oblivious and L is small and stealthy. By the time Mikami realizes what's happened, it's too late. He has been Climbed™.

Mikami also teaches L to fight. L has a horrible habit of hitting when he doesn't get what he wants—his tantrums are almost always more physical than verbal or shrieky. So while Light teaches L how to better manipulate those around him stabilize his emotions through schemes thinking puzzles, Mikami helps L redirect the physicality of his tiny anger into something productive and educational. By the time he's ten L has likely learned three different forms of martial arts and how to talk circles around any mid level politician he may come across.

The funniest thing about this, however, is that when they all go out together; for L's birthday, an achievement bribe, a family dinner; L looks much more similar to Mikami than Light, which leads people to assume (due to his delicate features) that Light is L's mother and therefore subsequently a woman. Mikami has to viciously hide his urge to say "Yes this is my wife" because Light HATES when this happens, and L is irritated by it. He'd get ganged up on IMMEDIATELY.

However as L gets older he does, in fact, also find it incredibly funny.

[iztarshi]

I am curious besides rise what’s your opinion other on the other iterations of Raph? Since he’s my fav

87 Raphael is my favourite turtle of all, but it's hard to know where to start describing him. I just want to hold him out to people like "see?"

He's an outlier among Raphaels so people who usually like Raphaels don't always like him. He's the wise guy of the group and would always rather say something clever than something useful, but when he does say something useful it's usually a suggestion they don't run headlong into danger. He's verbally prickly, but physically affectionate, and although he's not the protector like some Raphs he does get latched onto by Donatello and Michelangelo sometimes just because he doesn't push people off. Michelangelo jumps into his arms when scared a few times and Raphael just stands there holding him for the rest of the scene.

I think Raphael vs the Volcano is a good episode for getting to know him. Raphael thinking he's dying due to a silly misunderstanding is a standard 90s TV plot, but the show takes it unexpectedly seriously once the set up is done. We see his cynicism as he tries to convince himself that the world is good and his life has been worth living only to fail due to New York's typical disregard for a loitering pedestrian. We see how his cynicism doesn't stop him wanting to save people when he decides that the world is terrible but he's at least going to make it better before he goes. We see his tendency to run from things, in this case from the emotional scene saying goodbye would be, since the misunderstanding continues due to him leaving notes instead of using his turtle comm. He's a little guy, he cares a lot, he's scared of a lot and doing his best anyway. Like other Raphaels he has more emotions than he knows how to handle.

03 Raphael is so nice. He wouldn't understand me saying that, which breaks my heart, but he is honestly such a sweet, polite teenager. He spends an episode doing chores for an old lady and is suprised and touched when she wants to see him again. When we see his worst nightmare it's his own face being behind Shredder's helmet. More than any Raph he seems to genuinely think he's bad. His temper is a lot for him to control and the part where he nearly hit Mikey with a pipe came off as if it might be a dissociative episode but he gets very little help with it. Despite his prickly reputation he's more often acting as emotional support for the others, especially when Leo's in an anxiety spiral.

He does have fun though! He's a Raph who really enjoys a fight and his "irritation" with Mikey is just a game.

My favourite bit of the Christmas episode was him and Angel pranking Casey with mistletoe because it's not often he really gets to act his age.

2012 Raph is maybe the prickliest Raph of all, combining 03's aggression with 87's sarcasm. He still manages to have the biggest, saddest green eyes when his brothers are upset and he can't do anything about it, though.

He comes off like an asshole in season one when he genuinely does seem to not like the other characters very much. Later this mellows a lot, to the point when I'm told he still regularly threatens to quit the team and storms off I'm not sure I believe it. Especially when it's never happened on screen before.

I don't think I have much to say about the movie Raphs. 90s Raph is good. 07 Raph needed to apologise to Donatello and not to Splinter, but that is a plot problem more than a problem with him. Batman Raph should not get to lecture Batman about being open with his family. I swear, of all the turtles XD

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Here's sad Sivvus things

He was an early writer and journaled almost every day up until he turned 18

After the Hag Deal (which he doesn't really remember much of) he began to pull away. A few decades later his mum asked if she could have his old journals

He agreed, and she reads them sometimes, remembering who her son used to be, how hopeful and kind and sweet he was.

His family doesn't know why he went sour, except Idun, his older brother, who knows something went down but hides it because it's his fault (he was supposed to watch Siv)

Sivvus never lost the love of his family, he just stopped seeing it and being able to receive it

They respected his solitude but would even send letters of invites to all the things. The letters would pile up outside his door

They spent decades trying to get him to engage with them, but he only ever performed out of obligation, like there was a wall between him and others.

Eventually his magic fed into his emotional issues, creating an energetic shield that causes others to keep their distance, disregard him, or 'slide off'. This effectively stopped people from trying to help, because when they got close their minds would get fuzzy and the idea would go away.

Though he is a druid, he keeps his emotional so sheltered that he fails to connect with his plants or animals on a deep level. They all love him, and flock to him, but he can't feel it. Like watching a video of a cat vs petting one, there's always something in between

The Hag took all of the emotions attached to his childhood memories, and a few memories as well, in exchange for making him powerful. Sadly, with no connections in his heart, he had no reason to use his power, and the trick of the Hags Deal was sealed. He may be one of the most powerful druids in the Feywild, but he sits alone in his garden and rots because the world is Uncomfortable Now

Siv never actually lost the ability to feel, the Hag just drains his emotions when they are strong. After a few bad experiences, he began protecting himself from her by trying to simply... not feel.

90 years of increased isolation, slowly pulling away because all feelings and experiences felt sharp and new and he balked against it, he ended up losing all of his childhood friendships as well as his fiancee

He doesn't even recognize this as a loss because he can't remember what it feels like to care about someone

Being wiped clean like a slate having the chalk brushed off, Sivvus placed himself upon a shelf and became the orchestrater of his own mouldering existence

There are still a few paintings of the family when he was young. In them, he's always smiling

His younger sister is only 60, she never knew him as any different than he is now. If she did, she would have been the only one to never give up trying to get him back, because his magic shield doesn't work on her

It doesn't work on her because she spent 20 years in Faerun, and intra-planar travel interrupts Sivs defenses

If he went to Faerun, his Hag couldn't reach him anymore and the emotion-sucking would be permanently broken. He doesn't know this, because he never traveled. He could have broken the curse decades ago.

If he pushed through the Hags draining of his emotions he could use his powers to block her out, but because he shies away and hides from it, it enables her to continue what she's doing

You don't know what you don't know, and sometimes that means you hurt yourself more than the bad thing that happened to you could ever hurt you

Sivvus is a metaphor

[technovillain]

I'm trying to expand my mind's eye and see if I can pull anything out of the hat labeled "Lazarus Aquato" and i think what I've got so far is that he had the same bravado and boisterous speaking voice that Augustus has. I imagine since he is The Aquato that ties Marona/the Galochio's together through marriage that he must've been the Aquato ring master too. Augustus' ringmaster coat we see once in the trailer/concept art could've been salvaged from Lazarus.

Also I think whether or not Marona was psychic I think Lazarus definitely wasn't. if we DO think of Marona as psychic I think he would've really admired that about her and ironically probably would've been like oh my beloved let's incorporate some psychic flourishes into the show, we're big and famous so we can get away with that without losing too much of our audience.

They wouldn't have had enough time to really perfect that for actual public performances before the civil unrest got them focused on other things, but it was the thought that counted.

(also note, I never rly look at the lipo doc so I'm not referencing it at all when I say my hcs, I don't consider it canonical enough to care)

YESSS I love this!!!!! I think it would be cool if Augustus unknowingly was a lot like Lazarus!! I like to picture him as like a boisterous and fun person who loved to bring people together, like he would throw excellent parties and gatherings.

Absolutely stealing the idea that the coat was salvaged from his things omg.... I think it would be sweet and also very sad if Lucy had been great friends with Lazarus too. Like looking through the circus stuff for things to give to Augustus and just sort of having a vague sadness upon seeing a few of his things and not understanding why. I like to think that Lucy was never really fully lucid other than that one memory vault, but her other feelings of things from her past would come through in deja-vu-esque feelings of vague emotion.

I think I'm on team nonpsychic Marona, purely because I think Lucy would be pretty bold and open about her powers and that the two were really close as kids, and if Marona had powers of her own she would have figured it out then and had no real reason to repress them.

(Also I like the Li-Po document on a lot of things but I pretty much fully disregard it when it comes to Aquato stuff because it is all directly contradicted with the Psychonauts 2 plot, they just hadn't come up with the Aquato family lore twist yet back then. Pretty much the only part of the document that I ignore.)