#and get yourself home safe

[ghostjelliess]

I saw a post in here about a guy's dad telling him of a friend's tactic to wear sunglasses with one lens out on the nyc subway during his late-night commutes because it was better to look like the crazy one, and I just... Guys. That's not why we did that.

It's so one eye each is adjusted to emerging through the light-dark-light of the subway/bus terminal and whatever street alley shortcuts you gotta take—you'll see anything coming at you. You'll see the business-exchange corner to avoid, step around the glass, maybe get blinded by a billboard or some high beams, but you got both eyes adjusted, and you'll make it home just fine. No cats, no rats, no snakes, metaphorical or otherwise, and you're not walking with that scared blink-shuffle that gets clocked a mile away by someone looking for their next target. But if you see them first? Opportunity predators don't like being spotted, they're scavengers not attackers.

You know how you lay in bed and look at your phone with one eye in the dark, the other eye squished in the pillow? You know how that bright ass screen burns 'cus you're either just waking up or should have been asleep? You know how you eventually sit up or put your phone down and open the other eye and it sees EVERYTHING in your dark-as-shit room? That's what the one lens is for. Especially when you get off at a dark stop after the bright bus lights or a lit platform that lets out at a dark corner.

Maybe if you sprinkle yourself with whisky, or randomly yell conspiracies, or harass other riders or something, but wonky sunglasses by themselves is what y'all think crazy looks like? On a late-night commute? That's all it takes? Guys. You're on Tumblr. Come on. ❤️

[corpsentry]

pick your battles

[arisveah]

terrible awful realization

[image transcript:

arisveah: and the surgery scene was so much more piercing seeing it from a different angle like omg now we have the idea that he was screaming the whole time omg.

best friend: RIGHT

arisveah: (referring to a previous comment about the exposure) "nerd" okay star wars. what am i supposed to do with the knowledge that charlie was screaming for half an hour what the fuck. what do i do with that? poor boy. if he ever escapes his voice is going to be absolutely shot. and plus saying all that (referring to the horror of promoting a future sex channel with your voice and not your authority) on stream- poor man might never say anything again (if he gets out) :(

End of transcript]

[ghost-proofbaby]

just watched a biker do the dumbest thing that was clearly his impulsive thoughts winning, and, without missing a beat, said “twenty four hours eddie.”

[therulerofallpotatos]

A Million Ways to Die in the West is top tier cinema. I'm having a great time

[erwinsvow]

something about the idea of john price stalking you makes my brain addled

[cafesweetvn]

How’s the demo coming along? /genq (Sorry if this is rude, I’m just curious ^^’’)

NO WORRIES I DON'T FIND IT RUDE!! honestly it's been a bit slow, I wanna pick up my pace again and be on that GRIND like how I was cause that felt good!! I'm also planning to delete the game on ren'py since I'm having issue with some of the coding even though I'm following the tutorial exactly as shown so I'm hoping that deleting the game(which isn't that big of a set back for me, I really only had the title screen in there so far) and then just start from scratch cause I don't know if the game file is glitching or if I'm just REALLY bad at coding(though tbf I haven't coded anything since the required coding class in high school and I wasn't even using ren'py for that) Although my plans have changed a bit, I don't plan on going to college this semester(which my dad is NOT going to like so I'm really dreading even TELLING him), rather I want to focus on getting a job(which will still take up my time as well as having to take care of everything at this place) BUT hopefully I'll be less stressed and at least have more free time(I take FOREVR to do college assignments, I'm a really slow worker, I always have been) but I'm hoping that I get a job and make money and save it up so I can GET OUUUUUUT of this place which would lower my stress and give me significantly more free time. And then I wanna do trade school, I wanna use my own money, not my dads, if I'm out of here and use my own money I don' have to worry about anyone else's expectations other then mine so that's also less stress YIPPEE! Progress is slow but tonight I wanna find some music, which thankfully I already have an artist(Peritune) that I REALLY like so I'll just be looking through more of their stuff! Now that I have most of the scenes written out it should be easier to find music and backgrounds! Anyways long story short progress has been slower than I'd like but I'm feeling that motivation kick! I'll try to post more updates as well, sorry for just going MIA!!

[astral-catastrophe]

me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system

[gay-fordeath]

.

[archi-pelago]

.

[baishouqijia]

i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3

[immobiliter]

it's the way that i add el on a super, super lowkey basis, but then she eventually sneaks her way into becoming one of my big muses on this blog lmao

[shilohgreen]

happy new year, like this to be will's midnight kiss ♥ (aka you will prob get a lil starter, i may pop into your ims to plot tho!!)

[bugisbonkerz]

GODDD the horrible stuff i’ve said in the past just to fit in is haunting me every night..

[bootwearingfairy]

Thinking about a sadistic dom telling me where to cut and jerking off to me actually doing it

[nistarot]

something on my mind lately that i'm not sure entirely how to phrase is like - this is mostly targeted at white trans influencer types, but i find something very grating on the kind of body negativity posting i see in relation to dealing with body dysmorphia. now, body dysmorphia/dysphoria are something that anyone can experience, and not everyone does, and it's different for different people. however, i take issue with the content made around learning how to "pass" by hiding your body, and specifically the language used for it. primarily i see this around "wide hips", and i do see the need and/or want for clothing tips that help people feel comfortable in their bodies, and i don't think there is anything intrinsically wrong with this content's primary goal. however, as trans owned/focused fashion brands are becoming more in number, i'm finding that the representatives i am seeing for these brands are overwhelmingly white, skinny, transmasc individuals. and the language used to market their products is one that is, i think, meant to be addressing dysphoria, but it comes across to me as a narrowly defined negative view. as someone with a larger chest and a larger/stockier frame, all of the tips about "hiding" my wider hips can do nothing tangible for my appearance. you cannot hide genuinely large/noticeable features of your body; trust me, i've tried for years to do so, and sometimes i still try in vain to wear the straight jeans and the special cut tee shirts, and it just leaves me feeling worse because i am not the target audience of these tips. i am not skinny. i also do not think i subscribe to this belief that wide hips are a "dead giveaway" that will prevent you from passing; i think that (and other such beliefs) honestly is rooted in bioessentialist beliefs that i wish we would all unpack and be a lot better off without.

it is not to say that skinny trans people's issues with their bodies are not valid or not okay to talk about. but i do think that rebranding body negativity into the language of progressive thought is unfair and cruel whether it is shaving razor ads telling women that they are beautiful no matter what but that doesn't mean stop shaving, or if it is a skinny, flat chested, white trans person telling me that all trans people are wonderful but more importantly how much their wide hips bother them - and how a product can "fix" both of these issues.

and how am i meant to feel about this whole thing, anyway? if this skinny person's hips are too wide, then what the hell is wrong with me? there is inherent comparison in self hate. putting yourself down will only lead to holding bias against those who are "worse" than you (whether you're aware of it or not) & broadcasting to all the other people with the feature you hate about yourself are surely also ugly or inferior in the same way you believe yourself to be. i don't think body dysmorphia should not be talked about. i do think that talking about it in the language of product placement and brand marketing is doomed from the start. when a skinny person says that their hips are too wide, their jaw is too soft, they hate their nose and with a chest like theirs they'll never pass, i earnestly have no idea what to possibly say, because in their self hate they have entirely vilified me. i am short and stocky with muscle and my jaw is soft and i have acne and wide hips and a large chest. how am i meant to feel safe with those who believe my features to be their worst nightmare? how can i build community with you when i can imagine how you preen in the mirror over your 110 lb build and how awful it is?

this is what is meant when we talk about self love as a form of resistance. you cannot expect to be a safe person as long as you hate yourself for being human.