ghostjelliess

[ghostjelliess]

I used to try to make combs in the woods with my sisters (our dziadz did carpentry), and we always failed, but all four of us independently went out and bought antique combs as adults, and there's just something about cool combs that makes you feel pretty (mine has memento Mori bones on it).

Medieval wooden combs (click to enlarge)

[ghostjelliess]

Me, while my family is declining RSVPs to my wedding: 😭😭😭💔

Me, after seeing how much food and drinks cost: 😂👋👋👋👋🤑

[ghostjelliess]

See, the thing about growing up in peak internet is that when I see a post in my native language that is absolute gibberish to me, I am aware of my two choices:

1. Stumble forth into a new fandom, just to see, maybe stay forever, who knows.

2. That's not a post for me, scroll on and mind my business.

But now a bunch of people, old and young and in between, have created a third option that I cannot stand: research the gibberish just to shit on it, loudly, and then scroll and pretend that's a healthy, normal thing to do. Like, shut up nosy, you're going to make languages all high context again and some of us are already struggling, dang. 😭😭

[ghostjelliess]

[ghostjelliess]

Look what I found!

[ghostjelliess]

"The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it."

poem by Mikko Harvey

[ghostjelliess]

Every time I fumble my fat fingers and type mater instead of matter.

[ghostjelliess]

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

[ghostjelliess]

I laughed so hard when I read this. Fiance was unimpressed, but it's still one of the funniest translations I've read. It's just so... Deutsch. A+ translator-san.

[ghostjelliess]

Horror books SHOULD provide content warnings, specifically, warning: author's greatest horror is basic poverty!

The horror. 😐

[ghostjelliess]

ugh, when your partner is better than you at every game -_-

[ghostjelliess]

[ghostjelliess]

[ghostjelliess]

[ghostjelliess]

[ghostjelliess]