#and for years i didn't feel like it suited me
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Two Many Beds (Choi Seungcheol) Teaser
Reverse Trope Series Installment 1.5
Choi Seungcheol was your parent's best friend's son, the man you lived with for two odd years and the face you woke up to everyday but that didn't mean the two of you didn't have issues to navigate. After all, everything changed when one argument turned into two beds and seven days apart. Your only worry was that in all this, the distance it took over twenty years to cover, might just find its way between the two of you again....
Pairing - Choi Seungcheol x afab! Reader
Word Count- 3.4k for teaser (Estimated full fic WC - 13k)
Genre - Ah our sweet little idiots have gotten some issues so angst, romance, hurt/comfort, obviously banter cause it's these two. Oh and smut.
Warnings -smut, making out, cheol lifts reader, fingering (that's all for teaser, lots more coming in the full fic hehe)
A/n - Hello my loves, surprise surprise! This is super duper overdue - The love Too Many Beds gets to date still makes me feel so touched so I wanted to have a little something out for everyone who, like me, is so attached to our little idiots in love! If you want to be tagged in the full fic, please leave a comment below and if you want to be tagged in all fics of the series, then drop a comment on the taglist!
TUESDAY
You glanced at Seungcheol silently getting ready in front of the mirror. The man still doesn't know how to tie his tie.
On any other day, he would've asked you to do it, looking down at you fondly while you worked the knot but today he just threw it on the bed with a frustrated sound and walked off. Sighing, you picked it up, folding it neatly, putting it on the rack.
Seungcheol also really loved to eat breakfast with you. Yeah it was his favourite meal of the day but what he really liked was watching you in the kitchen, humming and swaying around to the music as you cooked. You, of course, loved having his eyes on you first thing in the morning - more often than not, it was you who ended up on the table for him to have his fill.
Today though, he barely glanced at the kitchen before he grabbed his bag, slipped on his shoes and closed the door behind him with a resounding slam. No kiss today. In the two years that you’ve lived together, he’s never not kissed you.
Huffing annoyed, you threw your half eaten pancakes in the bin and followed his suit - grabbed your bag, wore your heels and slammed the door shut behind you.
This was stupid.
This whole fight was stupid.
You didn't mean for it to escalate this far. What had been a casual statement that stemmed purely out of frustration had turned into a full blown Cold War.
You picked up the photo of the two of you in your office, the one that you had framed, the one from your wedding. From your first wedding actually, when the two of you got sick of your parents fussing over the arrangements and simply flew to Greece overnight, getting married there, all by yourselves. You really love this picture - Seungcheol wearing a perfectly fitted white shirt, his arms wrapped around you from behind while you matched him, donning a white beach gown, a pretty crown of flowers on your head as you half turned to look at him, the two of you laughing.
Being married to Seungcheol was.....like a dream. To be honest, you hadn't ever dreamt this was possible - that your parents best friend's son and childhood arch rival would be the one whose arms you'd wake up in everyday.
Again, except today.
Today you woke up on the bed alone while he spent the night on the couch. Given how much Seungcheol liked to cling onto you in his sleep, you were habituated to waking up all suffocated, pulling away from his grip while he’d draw you back, snuggling in your arms, asking you for five minutes more. Sometimes he let you go in five, sometimes it became twenty, with two orgasms added. Either way, with him you always woke up hot, sweaty and mildly annoyed but you missed his warmth today.
You missed him terribly.
But not anymore.
This had to end.
Seungcheol didn’t expect to see you at home so early.
Ever since your event management venture had started, you had been busy with the logistics of it all - hiring people, setting up the office, and dealing with your first ever event, your dear cousin’s wedding. That meant you often reached home around midnight, way after Seungcheol finished his dinner, when he would be slipping into bed. To see you in the kitchen, whipping up a meal should have been a pleasant surprise yet Seungcheol showed no change of expression - he simply threw his bag on the couch, changed into his gym clothes and left the house.
Sighing, you grabbed his bag and slid it on the shelf in his office room. It had been years yet his habit of leaving things around hadn’t changed one bit. Neither did he - he was just as caring, just as in love with you and just as much your best friend as he had been since day one. It was you who was the idiot.
Last night, even though you had come home earlier than usual, for some reason you were more exhausted than you had ever been. Seungcheol of course, like any doting husband, was happy to see you, pulling you onto his lap the moment you dropped on the couch, finding your lips with a long, much needed kiss. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to be intimate with him, but there was something weighing on your mind when you walked into the house, something you had been meaning to ask him. But before you could get a word out, gripping your thighs he lifted you in his arms, walking you towards the room.
“Cheol, I wanted to ask you something.”
“What?” Setting you on the bed, he hovered over you, pulling his shirt over his head. You were feeling unnaturally hot too, so you quickly unbuttoned your shirt and like he had been deprived for months, Seungcheol ravenously descended on your breasts, littering the curve of it with hurried kisses and bites. It hadn’t even been that long since the two of you last had sex… okay, it had been a week which was considerably long given how often you two got at it but you had been really busy launching your business, just like you were busy thinking about it now.
“Cheol, listen to me.”
“I’m listening.” He said but his hands worked on your pants, pulling them down as his mouth found your neck.
“No you’re not.”
“Okay, fine, I’m not.” He sighed, slipping his fingers below your underwear, finding you wet between your legs. “But I’m also not going anywhere, we can talk after-”
“But this is important-”
“So is this.” He muttered, sliding his fingers in slowly, pulling out a soft moan from you. “Fuck, I missed you baby.”
Screw this man. Nothing made you feel as good as he did.
“I missed you too…” Holding his face in your hands, you kissed him softly, clenching around his digits. “F-faster Cheol.”
Groaning he adjusted over you, putting himself in an angle that allowed him to slip another finger in, pumping them faster, curling them when needed.
“Oh god yes…” Forehead pressed against his, you felt your eyes shut as the knot deliciously tightened in your guts. Watching you ready to fall apart, Seungcheol found your clit with his thumb, the sensation of him rubbing circles making your walls flutter around his fingers, soaking them.
“That’s it baby.” He whispered, encouraging you to ride it out, allowing you to grind your hips against his hand. “Come for me.”
And within minutes, you did, your orgasm washing you in waves as you wrapped your arms around your husband, nails digging into his back as the most wonderful sigh of relief left your being.
Seungcheol chuckled as you held on to him, your breath fast and shallow. “Are you okay? You just seem so wound up these days, I thought this might help.”
You grimaced as you let him go, allowing him to roll off you. “Yeah, work’s really been a bitch off late, which is why I-”
“Shhh.” Seungcheol pulled you into his arms again, dropping a soft kiss on your head. “Just leave work behind for a bit Y/n. You’re home now, take a breather and relax.”
“I’m not too tired or anything.” You pulled away from him, sitting up. “And I know I shouldn’t bring work home but the business is just launching and I don’t want to mess things up.”
“Hey,” Seungcheol followed your suit, sitting on his knees. “You won’t. You’re one of the most capable people I know, you got this.”
You sighed.
He was always so encouraging, he always believed in you so much. But maybe if he just listened he’d know the truth. He’d know you weren’t that capable after all. That things were messing up. That you really needed help.
“How about you just-ow!” You shrieked as you shifted, trying to put some space between the two of you.
Your hand had found that bumpy crack between both beds, slipping right in between it, the edges of the mattress grazing your palm.
Yes both beds - Unfortunately, you and Seungcheol had to bring the beds from your childhood in your parents' house because thanks to um certain activities, the comfortable king size bed in your master bedroom had effectively…. broken. Since then, the two of you had put together the two single beds you had grown up in, promising to go mattress shopping when you were free. It had been a month now but somehow, the time for it never came.
“We really need a new bed.” You mumbled, rubbing your hand, moving away to your side. “It's been days since we slept properly.”
Seungcheol hummed, half crawling towards you. “I told you, we didn’t need two, you and I can manage on one-”
“Cheol…” You let out a breath, knowing what he was approaching you for again. “You said we’d talk after-”
“Yes after.” He smirked, pushing you back gently, hovering over you again. “But I’m not done with you.”
Oh he was only just getting started. You could feel his erection pressing against your groin and considering it had been a while since the two of you were intimate, you knew it wouldn’t end anytime soon. Seungcheol had the tendency to go on for hours sometimes.
Softly pushing him off, you turned away. “What if we spoke first and then continued-”
“You know I don’t like leaving things halfway-”
“Yeah well you shouldn’t have started it in the first place-”
“You say that after you’ve had your turn.” He pulled you back, his chest pressing against your back, his mouth by your ear. “It’s too late to back out now baby.”
“No it's not too late,” You wiggled in his grip. “We could just stop-”
“Nope,” Seungcheol smirked against your skin, his hand going between your legs again. “It's my turn now-”
“Cheol, I said stop!”
You didn’t mean to push him with such force or for your elbow to land right in his stomach - all you wanted was to simply get away for a minute. Seungcheol looked at you wide eyed and surprised as you slid off the bed, buttoning your shirt again.
“For God’s sake Cheol, I’ve been trying to talk to you for so long but all you want to do is have sex!?”
Sitting up, Seungcheol looked confused, concerned and hurt all at once. “Y/n I… I thought-”
“How about you stop thinking and listen to me!” You exploded, glaring at him accusatorily. “I really wanted to talk to you Cheol, I wanted to share something but you just….”
Pinching the bridge of your nose you turned away from him.
“Y/n I’m sorry…” You didn’t notice the way he winced, holding his abdomen as he slid off the bed, approaching you hesitatingly. “You seemed so stressed, I thought I was helping-”
“The way for you to help was to listen to me!” You threw your hands in the air. “Do you have any idea how much pressure I am under? I’m trying to do something for us, for our future, but all you want to do is just…. it’s been barely a week Cheol, why is sex always the only thing on your mind?”
“You…” Seungcheol looked at you like he couldn’t believe what you were saying. “You think this was about me? That sex is all I care about?”
The moment those words left him, you knew you were wrong. Of course not, Seungcheol loved you, more than anything and you knew that. He was just trying to help - how was he to know that you weren’t just trying to vent like always, that you wanted to ask him if he could quit his job and join you in the business? How was he to know the severity of things?
“I…” You turned around to him, finding him clutching his stomach, wincing in pain. “Oh my god Cheol, I’m so sorry-”
“Don’t.” He held his hand out as you approached. “Please don’t.”
And with that, he walked out of the room, leaving you alone, regretting your words.
That night, you tried to approach him again but Seungcheol was uncharacteristically subjecting you to silent treatment. You knew that wasn’t his way of working through things - Seungcheol was a mature man. He talked things through, he knew how to fix issues. The fact that he wasn’t having any conversation with you clearly meant that your words had hurt him beyond belief. Of course you were sorry about it, and you tried telling him that, many times, but he didn’t seem to listen. Instead, for the first time in two years of marriage, Seungcheol slept on the couch, away from you.
You had hoped he would at least be more receptive to you in the morning but his cold behaviour continued and his stubborness irked you. Fine, if he was going to be such a child about this, so were you. But as the day progressed you realised how stupid it all was. You didn’t want to play tit for tat with your husband, you just wanted things to be normal with him again. That’s why leaving all your work behind, you wrapped up the last meeting of the day as quickly as you could and arrived home way before the sun set, making his favourite meal as an apology.
But it seemed like he still didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t smile when you smiled at him. He didn’t smirk at you when your eyes ran down his water streaked, towel clad body as he stepped out of the shower. He didn’t even eat dinner - just donned his pajamas and got ready to sleep on the couch. Again.
“Cheol,” You walked up to him as he threw his comforter on the couch. “I understand you’re mad but that’s no reason to avoid eating.”
“I already ate.” His answer was curt. Hurtful. He would never forgo the chance to eat a meal made by you.
“Cheol I’m so sorry about yesterday, you know I didn’t mean what I said, it was just in the heat of the moment.”
Silence. That’s all he gave to you in return. Silence.
You watched as he settled on the couch, turning on the tv, ignoring your presence. You could’ve just walked off. You could’ve just let your ego take over - after all you had been constantly apologizing to him since last night while he was behaving like a five year old. But at least one of you had to behave like an adult so you did, sitting on the floor before him, taking his hands into yours.
“Cheol listen to me-”
“Y/n please, don’t do this, get up.”
You ignored him. “Cheol I’m really sorry, tell me what I should do to fix this-”
“First get up please, just…” He pulled you onto your feet, making you sit on the couch next to him. “You don’t have to apologise like that.”
“Then what do I have to do to make things right again? To make us okay again?”
“It’s….” Seungcheol sighed looking away. “It’s not you. I…. I was just thinking about things. I didn’t mean to seem cold.”
“You ignored me all day.” You turned his head to you, glancing at him sadly. “You didn’t even kiss me goodbye…”
“I didn’t know if I should.” He whispered, looking away. “I didn’t know what you’d think of me if I got close to you again.”
“Cheol…” You could feel tears pricking your eyes. You had really hurt him.
Throwing your leg around his waist, you climbed into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him tight. Too tight.
But Seungcheol didn’t hold you back.
“I’m really really sorry Cheol.” You muttered in the crook of his neck. “I’ve just been so stressed about work. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it was not fair to take my frustration out on you.”
When he still didn’t wrap his arms around you, you pulled back, holding his face in your hands softly. “I know it wasn’t just about sex, I know you were trying to help and I’m sorry I lashed out. Please just….. Please talk to me, we can talk it out-”
“No, no I’m sorry Y/n.” He tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “I didn’t mean to shut you out, I just…was thinking about what you said and-”
“Please don’t.” You hugged him tight again and this time, Seungcheol hugged you back, placing a soft kiss in your hair. “Just forget what happened, okay? It was my bad, it was just in the moment.”
You could feel him hum, his chest vibrating against yours as you held onto your husband, relieved to have finally put this behind you. The two of you sat like that till the sound of the rain hitting the glass with a soft pitter patter took over the silence and you drew back, looking at him with a small smile.
“Come sleep in the room?”
Seungcheol nodded, letting you go as you quickly slid off his lap and grabbed his bedding, heading to the room.
“You didn’t have dinner either Y/n.”
“Not hungry!” You called back as you put the pillows on his side of the bed again. “I’m kinda nauseous actually.”
Walking into the room, Seungcheol looked he didn’t believe you before his eyes fell on the bed you were making and he gulped.
“Y/n I…”
You turned, looking at him confused. “What happened?”
“I can’t do this.” He confessed, taking a step back. “I can’t…”
“But Cheol I apologised-”
“No, no.” He quickly approached you, noticing how your face fell. “You didn’t have to, you were right, I… I’m the problem-”
“That’s not true-”
“If helping you was what I wanted, I would've stopped after you were done but I...” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t listen when you kept saying you wanted to talk, I just kept going on, like some untamed animal-”
“Cheol stop it.” You reached for his hands, trying to talk sense into him again. “You know its not like that-”
“Do we?” He looked at you frowning. “How do we know I’m not some sort of crazy sex addict?”
“Because you…what?” You looked at him like he wasn’t making any sense. Clearly, whatever went down last night was still not letting him think straight. “Cheol what are you saying?”
“I just… I don’t want to sleep here.” He pulled away from you. “I don’t want to sleep with you till I know I’m…”
You let out a deep breath, shaking your head. “You’re being really unreasonable right now.”
“I just want to prove to myself that it's… it's not all about sex.”
“There’s nothing wrong in wanting to have sex with your wife!”
“But I also want it to be more! To listen to you, to look after you, to be there for you.”
“And you think not sleeping with me is the solution?”
“I’m not trying to solve anything.” Seungcheol insisted. “I just want to put some space between us…. Didn’t you say last night that it had only been a week? So just, give me another, I’m… just trying to see something for myself.”
You blinked at him. You had so many rebuttals to counter him, so many things to point out that didn’t make sense. But you also knew Seungcheol well enough - there was no point arguing with him, not when he was so emotionally driven. The only way to do it was to give him what he asked - seven days. You could do that much, right?
“Your back is going to hurt if you sleep on the couch for a week.” You crossed your arms, letting out a heavy breath. “You can just sleep on the bed. Nothing has to happen between us.”
Seungcheol glanced over your shoulder, lost in thought. Then suddenly he walked over and grabbed the bottom of the bed, pulling the cot apart, turning one bed into two. You watched as he dragged it away, putting a considerable distance between the two of you. “Cheol….”
“Just seven days.”
You looked at him across you, sitting at a distance it had taken over 20 years for the two of you to cover. All you could hope was that the next seven days did not put a lifetime of distance between the two of you again.
A/n- Ahhhh I'm so excited to have the full fic out! I didn't think I would ever continue the story for these two but not gonna lie, they're always on my mind hehehe Do leave your thoughts and comments - it'll truly push me to get the full fic out fasterrr
#svthub#thediamondlifenetwork#kvanity#seungcheol#seungcheol smut#choi seungcheol#choi seungcheol smut#Scoups#scoups smut#seungcheol x reader#scoups × reader#seungcheol fluff#scoups fluff#seungcheol angst#scoups angst#seungcheol fic#seventeen fic#seventeen smut#seventeen#reverse trope prompt#reverse trope series#one bed#too many beds#two many beds
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ice cream | E.M.
Summary: It's present day, there's smartphones, social media and Spotify. You and Eddie discover you hold feelings for each other, in a very different way. He likes to show you intimate things he sees on his Twitter and you decide to try it out. (A/N: You'll know why it's called ice cream hehe)
Warnings: SMUT! 18+ MDNI, masturbation, protected sex (p in v), mentions of slight kink
Word count: 3.8k
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
You usually invite Eddie over before going out. It's like a ritual you've been doing over the years, and you both have a few beers as a warm-up too. Sometimes you get more excited and tend to make some drinks for yourself. Sometimes you get him to do it with you.
He's sitting in the easychair on the corner of your bedroom, scrolling through his phone as he listens to his playlist on Spotify. You're finally getting ready after taking a shower and getting dressed first before doing your makeup. Eddie doesn't bother to look at you when you're only in your lingerie, he doesn't care because he's respectful. And that's absolutely charming to you.
He shows you memes and reels in his Instagram and gets you distracted since you're both a little tipsy from the alcohol. He gets on Twitter and snorts when he sees a page that posts different sex positions every day. Sometimes, they're too awkward and maybe a little too much for him.
He's the kind of a missionary guy but he also likes to bend someone over and hit from the back. Which is something he normally doesn't do much, but it's one of his favorite things to do.
You two have never done anything, although you have a great connection and sometimes it makes people think you're together. They always think you're hooking up or going out. Even your friends think that too. It's unbelievably sweet when you're together, because he treats you well. He likes to take care of you, but not like in an older brother way.
As your best friend, Robin tells you that you should invest in this relationship, but you wouldn't wanna ruin it. You know he wouldn't ruin it, but it's been so good that way. It's hard to actually take a step further.
And then when you ask him what he just saw, he turns his phone at you and shows you the picture. "Position 187: Ice Cream" You read out loud.
The image shows a man sitting on his knees, while a woman sits on top of him, her back on his chest, her hands on his thighs as he holds her breasts with both hands. You sure have never tried that before, though. And it shows Eddie hasn't either.
"It's a cute name, isn't it?" He asks as he continues to scroll on his phone.
While you pick a fine dress to put on, you look over your shoulder and laugh. "I don't get why it's called that, but whatever suits them"
You fix the straps of the light blue dress over your shoulder and suddenly you hear Eddie clearing his throat behind you. For a second, you thought it was his dirty imagination picturing himself doing that with someone, so you don't mind him.
But when you turn on your heel to pick your makeup case, you see him looking you over from the corner of his eyes.
"Eddie, sweetheart" You call him out and he looks up at you. Puppy brown eyes trying to play dumb.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"You having a good time checking me out?" You muse, making fun of the way he was focused on looking at your curves.
Eddie widens his eyes and tries to pretend he didn't do anything. He waves you off and looks back at his phone, again, pretending he didn't do anything. But this time, the screen is off and you can't help but cackle.
"You scroll your phone with the screen turned off?"
He tries to laugh at it, but it comes off as a nervous laugh. He didn't think he was being indiscreet like that. Eddie looks up at you and bites his lips.
"Fine, I was. But, it's your fault! Look at you all gorgeous wearing that dress" He heaves dramatically.
You pick up his phone off his hand and place it over your nightstand. You don't know where you got that extra confidence, the crazy idea you just had in your mind, but you used it in your favor, sitting down on his lap.
Eddie looks at you funny, a weird expression over his face when he sees you sitting on his thigh. You wrap your arms around his neck and bring your lips close to his ear.
"Do you wanna try ice cream with me? While I wear this dress?" You ask in a whisper, fanning his skin.
Eddie holds your waist carefully, but there's a small electricity travelling through his bloodstream as you stay this close to him. He knew he was a goner for you a while ago, he just didn't want to admit it. He didn't think he would have a chance with you anyway. He just never tried. Steve and Jonathan told him you guys were a match long before, but he didn't listen.
He swallowed a lump in his throat, not feeling like he was able to speak. There's a rush in his head for a few seconds, because he feels his underwear getting too small for his ingrown bulge. You use his reaction as leverage and plant sweet and wet kisses over his neck, feeling the way his skin was shivering.
You trailed his scruffy beard, enjoying how the small hairs tickled your skin. In the background, a song by Black Sabbath filled the air that was becoming dense from the tension. He used his left hand that was free and placed it tenderly on your thigh, his fingertips grazing your skin. His fingers were just a few inches far from your groin, your own body reacting to his touch.
"I– I would love to, sweetie. But you don't think it's wrong?" He asks, holding back the urge to throw you over your bed and bend you.
You shake your head as a response, trying to make him comfortable and confident. You slide one hand down his chest, his t-shirt covering him. It's a shame he doesn't like to wear buttoned shirts, because otherwise you would've ripped it off by now. His lips are forming a thin line, like he's trying to absorb the idea, because he really wants it.
You already feel his hard cock touching the side of your leg and it makes you want him even more. Eddie doesn't want to just fuck you, because you're not just someone else to him. He wants to give you pleasure, he wants to give you a good time. He wants you to feel good and not used.
He wraps one hand around your neck, like he just figured out you liked being held that way and pulled you against him. He kisses you hurriedly for a few seconds, before clashing his tongue against yours. He tastes the beer you had, it's kind of bitter and sweet at the same time. He breathes through his mouth and forces his eyes shut.
You pull the collar of his clothing while you pull back the hair from the nape of his neck. It's a fervent and sweet kiss, you both play with your tongues as you deepen it, feeling him move a little under you.
It takes a lot of you to break the kiss, but the urgency of having him inside of you was growing uncontrollably and he felt it too. You got up from his lap and pulled his hand until you were both standing on the foot of your bed.
The hem of your dress went up a few inches and Eddie glanced at your ass for a small fraction of time. He wanted to touch it, grab it, squeeze it and even bite it if it was possible.
"How do you want it, Eds?" He felt his heartbeat quicken as he heard his nickname rolling off your tongue sweetly.
He immediately unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, getting rid of it, feeling a small relief. You grazed his bulge in your small hand and gave it a little squeeze, making Eddie grab your face and kiss you again. It wasn't even romantic, it was desperate and lustful. You stroked him through his underwear and he buckled his hip forward in response.
"Turn around, sweetie" He asked in a rushed, husky tone and you obeyed.
You faced your bed, your knees touching the end of it. He carefully placed a hand on the small of your back and bent you over, making you lean against the mattress. You heard him groan, before giving your ass a light squeeze with both hands. He didn't even bother taking off his rings.
"Such a pretty ass, fucking God" He praised you, his voice a little deep.
He spread kisses all over your skin before surprising you with a slap on one cheek. It wasn't hard and it didn't hurt, which surprised you. You immediately felt your stomach sink as you started to feel turned on. Eddie slapped the other cheek and praised it, kissing it back. His hand was soft but you could feel his calloused fingertips stroking your skin gently.
He went straight to your bedside table and grabbed a condom. He wanted to do it right, and he knew what you kept in there because he saw it once. It wasn’t intentional but it came in handy.
He pulled his shirt off and wrapped his cock, jerking off slightly taking a step back to have a better look at you. Eddie couldn't believe he was actually doing it with you. He dreamed of this countless times but he never told anyone, not even Steve.
He kept his hand around his length firmly and stared at your ass, your cunt glistening from your arousal.
He stepped forward again before he pulled your underwear to the side. You felt your pussy throbbing for him already, you were soaking for him and you whimpered as you felt his fingers collecting your wetness.
His fingers weren't like you imagined, he softly stroked your slit and used two fingers to massage your clit, your legs started to buckle immediately and you had to prop yourself before you dropped your weight on the bed. He drew circles around you, his other hand was planted on your ass.
You mewled and had to bite your lower lip when he pushed his thumb inside of your pussy. It was enough for you to feel the roughness of his skin and how thick it actually is. Eddie pushed it further and felt your walls contracting from his touch, keeping a slow pace as he moved it back and forth.
"Oh my God, Eddie" You moaned his name and his cock jumped up to the sound of your voice.
He slapped you again with his other hand, fucking you with his fingers, stroking your clit as his thumb touched your inside mercilessly. You started to ride his fingers, gripping the sheet tightly as you felt the pleasure rising up in your body.
He couldn't help but take in the sight of you, drunk on his touches and whimpering his name. He bit his lip from groaning because he didn't want to look miserable, when in fact, he was already feeling too lost in his own thoughts.
"You look so hot from up here, sweetie" He rasped, his heart was racing and he felt his own legs trembling.
You didn't want him to stop, but at the same time, you wanted to ride him, to feel him balls deep inside of you. His fingers were fast but gentle and it was making you feel dizzy. His thumb was pressing against your most sensitive spot, giving you that blissful feeling.
You look over your shoulder, watching him shirtless, his necklace hanging over his chest and his dick hard rock almost touching your ass. Your throat left a sexual whimper that made him glance up at your eyes. Eddie licked his lip and hissed when he grabbed your ass and squeezed it.
You were exchanging a satisfying and lustful look, one that didn't make it uncomfortable to deal with. It was a knowing look, to be exact. His brain was barely functioning and when he pressed his forefinger against your clit, you didn't hold back the moan that left your mouth. He pulled his fingers back from you, they were wet and dripping over his hand.
You were still looking at him when you saw the way he didn't hesitate to taste you as he licked his fingers, pulling them inside his mouth, savoring your cunt. It was audible how he hummed in the back of his throat, closing his eyes and sucking his fingers.
You were still leaning on your knees, your cunt clenching at the sight of him doing it in front of you. You would never imagine this would happen. You would never actually imagine Eddie would be one to do such a thing, but it's just because you've never actually had an intimate relationship, not like that though.
He opened his eyes and dropped his hand, now looking deep in your eyes and he walks towards you and holds your ass with both hands.
"I'm gonna go slow, okay?" He asks, but you're in such a haze you barely understand what he's saying, just nodding.
Eddie holds his cock and pushes the tip into your pussy, the small entrance making his body rigid. It doesn't hurt for you, but it's a little bit uncomfortable because he's slightly thick. He slowly gets inside of you, and you contract your pussy around him so fast, he stopped breathing for a second.
His eyes closed forcefully, his hands gripped your ass tightly. As he felt the base of his shaft hitting you, he pulled back slowly and repeated his move. He started to thrust against you, feeling your cunt too tight against his cock. His senses were too heightened at this point, his hips pushing forward hitting your ass.
You couldn't stop heaving, crying lustfully and whimpering his name. His waist was slapping against you and the sound of his dick hitting your walls was making you moan louder.
"Fuck, Eddie. That's so good" You mewl and he thrusts harder against you in response.
"You're taking me so good, sweetie. So fucking good" He doesn't hide the way he wants to groan and vocalize his reactions and you loved it.
He slid his hand against your skin until he reached for your arms, pulling you up so you would lean your back against his chest. As the position changes, you feel him deeply inside of you. You can't express how much it makes your body shiver. He gently wraps his hand around your neck, squeezing it rather aggressively but still cautiously. He uses his other arm to hold your waist as he pounds on you.
He rests his chin against your shoulder, his breath hitting your ear. If he wasn't holding you, you would probably just turn into a puddle right in front of him. His cock fits in and you can feel his balls slapping against your skin as well.
You're both a mess of moans and grunts, the sound of the two of you mixing with the music of his playlist that was long forgotten. You're holding his forearm for support, your eyes closed as you concentrate on your pleasure.
Eddie is behind you, praising you next to your ear, fucking you senseless. His thrusts are becoming faster and you don't think you've ever felt this good before.
"You like that, huh?" He chuckles and his breath reaches your ear. His rough voice is echoing inside your head. You don't respond, you're too high. "You like me fucking you, sweetie?"
He suddenly stops pounding on you, filling your pussy with his cock until you feel the tip on your cervix. He reaches one of your breasts and grips it tightly. His other hand that's still resting on your neck, he squeezes it harder, enough for you to choke. Enough for you to still breathe. He knows how to manage it. It makes you feel more turned on for him.
You just nod, you're almost losing your senses. He kisses the curve of your neck, leaving a pepper kiss on it. He can almost taste the salty sweat of it. "You know what? I love it too"
He didn't give you time to recover, surprising you as he thrusted hardly against you, just once. "I love the way you taste, you're so sweet". One more thrust. "You look so gorgeous on your knees for me". Another one.
"Eddie, please" You plead, your voice almost faltering as you're still holding him. "Just keep going".
He likes to be dominant, but he also likes to be the bottom sometimes. But tonight, he wants to show you what he can do. It's not like he needs to prove anything to you, but he wants to make sure you have a good time with him. He wants to have all of it, he wants to enjoy it as much as he can.
"We're doing Ice Cream, remember?" He slowly asks, softly dropping his hand off your neck.
He gets on the mattress, sitting on his knees and he tries to adjust you on top of him, just like he saw in the picture. You position yourself on top of him, your knees up. You sink down and Eddie throws his head back, not expecting the sensation to be so overwhelming.
This time, you're doing most of the work. You ride him, your ass slapping against his thighs. Again, he wraps his hand around your neck and chokes you without much intensity. His other hand grips your hardened nipple and he tries to thrust up against you.
He knows his legs are going to hurt later, but he can handle the pain because it's worth it.
You throw your arm back and wrap it around his shoulders, holding him so you can easily ride him. The air started to feel damp, your bodies starting to sweat and stick to each other.
"You're so beautiful" He surprises you with a compliment and your cheeks flush. "So good to me. I wish I could've had asked you out before"
You don't know how to answer this. You're in pure bliss. Your head starts spinning and you're almost losing control of your body. He drops his hand lower until he reaches for your clit, but you stop him. You want to feel it all. You want to cum without that little help. He respects it and gets back to squeezing your breast firmly, pinching your nipple.
You're both in sync, him pounding on you, you sitting on him, balls deep. Eddie doesn't want to let go of you, but he knows he's going to cum soon. He kisses all over your skin, he savors your salty skin, he hums against it. He feels his stomach tying to a knot and he knows he's getting closer. But he wants you to go first.
"Cum for me, lovely. I want you to drench my cock" His words make you stagnant and you feel your legs squirming.
You start to roll your hips, squeezing his cock so hard he grips you harder entirely. You throw your head back as you feel yourself clenching around him, your hips stutter and your legs start shaking. He holds you closer and waits for you to come down from your high. Eddie feels your pussy throbbing against him, clenching around his dick tighter, swallowing him.
He feels your juices dripping down his cock as you tremble under his touch, you're almost convulsing. "Eddie, this is s'good" You mumble as you slowly start coming back to your senses.
He's not choking you anymore, he's not manhandling you, he's just holding you dearly for a few seconds before he starts stuttering as well.
His cock sputters cum all over inside of you, pulsing incessantly as he moans loudly against your ear. His arms squeeze you a little tight, his thighs contracting from both pleasure and tiredness. He rests his forehead on top of your shoulder, spreading lazy kisses against your skin. He stays a little longer, waiting for the buzz to slow down.
"This was so good sweetheart, you were perfect" He praises, dropping his arms down, gently lifting you up so he would pull out of you.
It's painful to leave from inside of you and he misses the feeling already. His dick still hard after a long orgasm. You don't have the energy to actually move, so you just sit there as you wait for him to throw out the condom. He puts on his underwear, crawling into your bed and sitting close to you.
He places his hand over your cheek that's still flushed and burning from the sweat. He licks his lower lip and smiles embarrassedly. "I think it's safe to say we've kinda ruined your dress".
You laugh kindly at his remark and nod. There is no way you're going to wear this to go out. And if anything, you probably need a shower. But before you get up, he pushes you closer and lays you down on your bed. He leans against his hand, his elbow resting on top of your pillow.
"Let's just take a breath for a moment, sweetie"
You agree, you just know it's going to be hard to walk now. Your legs are still shaking and they might as well feel like jell-o too. "You can still ask me out if you want, you know".
It catches him off guard when you say it. You've been wanting to go out with him for so long, it's only fair you two do it now. He smiles inwardly, looking down for a moment before he looks up at you again. He strokes your arm tenderly, going for your cheek again.
He's always been affectionate towards you, this time you think it's different and you feel butterflies fluttering around your stomach.
"I will, don't worry"
You stay like that for a few minutes, just trying to rest and relax before you decide to finally take a shower. He throws his t-shirt over his head, looking for his jeans and his socks. He doesn't even remember when he got rid of them in the first place.
You keep staring at him as he gets dressed. He has a few spare clothes in your closet, you know that. "You're not taking a shower after?"
He shakes his head, finally zipping up his pants, putting his sneakers on. "Nah, I'm a hard-rocker. We don't take showers".
Eddie shoots you the most generous smile and you can't help but giggle. You pick another dress and go to the bathroom while he just waits for you. The first thing he does is to text Steve and tell him what he just did. Not in detail, but he does. He can't rip the giant smile off his face.
This, thanks to the tweets he sees and shows you.
During the entire time you're with your friends at the karaoke bar, he can't stop looking at you. He can't stop thinking about the sex and how you trembled under him. He also can't believe he gave you one of the best orgasms you've ever had in your life.
"It's never too late, man" Steve approaches his friend, tapping on his shoulder. Eddie looks at him and nods, staring back at you.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson x y/n#joseph quinn fanfic#stranger things fanfic#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson x fem!reader#joseph quinn imagines
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got these tags today from prev: #i think it's beautiful bc it didn't set out to be queer#life uh finds a way#it's not the best television ever#like not legit among the greats#but it had some incredible moments
And like... I have made a LOT of posts, at great length saying why I think Dean was always imagined as a queer character, and where the queerness was baked into the DNA of the show from episode one, and which I will not reprise here, but as much as I disagree that the queer glory of Supernatural is something it tripped and fell into by accident somehow, and without everyone involved knowing that queerness was part of what they were making, I do agree with something here: it's beautiful because it was a fucking journey.
Supernatural was not like today's prestige television with a tight 8-10 episodes and a fully planned narrative from day one, it was old-timey TV that arose out of things like Twin Peaks and The X-Files, falling somewhere between a weekly procedural and a serial. It had broad plot arcs sketched out, but the day-to-day grind of writing and making it was driven by characters that took on depth and meaning as it went along; network television long seasons with lots of filler that did nothing to further the serial plot, but let us get to know the characters, who became more and more lovable and real the more time we spent with them, in an organic way.
Maybe my Gen-X is showing here, but there's something beautiful about something that feels open-ended, isn't there? I mean, Supernatural STILL feels open-ended. Like, any moment now patient zero Jensen is going to suit up and tell us more of Dean's story, and we won't know where it's going and it will be fucking GREAT just to spend any time whatsoever with Dean? Television nowadays feels so PLANNED and yeah, there's some great stuff out there, but Supernatural had something special and fucking great that doesn't really exist anymore.
Like, what does it mean "one of the best" or "legit among the greats"? Supernatural was 15 years of storytelling, and for all the fucking kvetching on this, the Supernatural website, about its vagaries, it was pretty consistently well written. Jensen Ackles is a legit great actor who is seriously underrated for his sheer fucking craft, and as much as it is undeniable that Supernatural has some genuinely silly episodes, taken as a whole, when all of it is in your mind, the themes and threads in it are unironically epic in scope, and it has legitimately interesting things to say about those themes. AND it has incredible moments. AND the most devastaingly romantic love story I can think of.
Like, fellas, it's one of the best TO ME. It's legit among MY greats, and I would argue it deserves a place up there.
I got this one hobby horse, and god knows I'm gonna saddle up and ride it: Supernatural was a legitimately good show and it was queer as hell in its very bones.
#anti-trashnatrual agenda#reclaiming my nice gay show#i unironically love supernatural#nothing like a good ride on ye olde hobby horse
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Kalafina Anniversary Live 2025 Pamphlet HQ Scans Part 3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Google Drive Link
👉 For PERSONAL USE ONLY 👉 CREDIT me and LINK to my blog if you use/share 👉 SUPPORT Kalafina | BUY the pamphlet
Interview with Hikaru
--This will be Kalafina's first live performance in about seven years. How did you feel when you found out that the concert was going to be held?
"Various emotions were going through my mind at the same time, but to sum it up in one sentence, I felt like 'we can do this'. I was beyond happy that the three of us would be able to sing Kalafina's music again, that it was actually becoming a reality. Six years had passed, so I was excited to see what would happen if the three of us sang together again."
--How did you feel when the three of you first got together to sing during a live rehearsal?
"Along with nostalgia, it brought back memories of Kalafina's chorus work. When the three of us sing together, it just feels so right. Over the past six years, I've had the opportunity to sing with many different people while working solo, but I think there is a unique sound and energy in each song that only the three of us can create."
--What did the three of you talk about during the first rehearsal?
"We had a packed schedule for our rehearsals so we weren't able to have any particularly deep discussions. We thought, 'let's just try to get in tune with each other,' so we spent our time singing with the image of regaining the feeling of being Kalafina."
--Were you able to quickly get back into the swing of things with Kalafina?
"I immediately remembered how it felt back then. However, because we had been apart for a while, even though I was able to regain that feeling, I felt that it would take a little more time to express those feelings through my singing. Those first few rehearsals really helped me see what I needed to do from now on."
--So it was necessary to re-examine what you need to do to sing as a member of Kalafina?
"That's right. We have a renewed sense of determination to do our best. Naturally, the time and experience each of us has gained working as solo artists comes into play when we get together as a trio to sing, but beyond that, there is something unchanging about Kalafina. It may be an exaggeration to say it's almost like a chemical reaction when we come together, but I want to take on the challenge once again to see how beautiful a melody we can create as a trio."
--What do you think of Wakana and Keiko's vocal appeal?
"There are many singers in the world who can produce beautiful high notes and low notes, but these two are really special to me. Wakana has always been said to be great at expressing transience and sorrow, but what's even more impressive is that her voice is not simply delicate but also has energy and strength to it. Keiko has a deep, enveloping voice, and her charm is that you can feel so much love in her cool low notes. Also, there's a new feeling to her voice that I didn't feel during the 10 years she was with Kalafina, maybe it's because she's been doing solo work that I'm able to feel this."
--The current Kalafina probably combines the unchanging things from when you were singing as a trio, and the growth that has come with your solo activities.
"Yes, I think that everyone who comes to our live show might feel this way. But of course, it's all subjective and everyone is free to feel whatever they want so even if you feel like 'Kalafina never changes no matter how much time passes' or 'this is a completely new and mature Kalafina', we will be happy. We have had 10 years as Kalafina, and 7 years by ourselves, all of this has made us who we are today."
--Now, what do you think about the appeal of Kalafina's music?
"The songs were written to suit our voices, and I think they are unique songs that make the most of each of our individual strengths. That's why it feels lonely to sing them by myself. When I first went solo, I sang Kalafina songs during my live concert and it felt so lonely that I stopped singing them after that *laughs*. Because these songs were written for the three of us to sing, I simply want to fulfill the role of Hikaru that the songs require, and I believe that by doing so, the songs will resonate more with everyone."
--What are your thoughts about all the fans who have continued to love Kalafina for such a long time?
"So many people have supported our activities over the past 10 years, and there are so many people who have continued to listen to Kalafina's music even after that, I have nothing but gratitude for them. Kalafina is really special to me, and I think that everyone has always known this. I want to convey to everyone at the live in January, 'thank you for waiting for us all this time.'"
--Finally, please tell us your thoughts about today's pamphlet photo shoot.
"It felt like it had been so long since the three of us had been together like this, we remembered the feeling of taking group photos, the distance and subsequent intimacy we felt when we were told to 'get a little closer together' *laughs*. And we even got to talk about personal things in between takes, it really felt like we were continuing right where we had left off with no gaps in between."
#kalafina#kalafina scans#scans#my scans#kalafina reunion#kalafina anniversary live 2025#translation#my transition#my translations#that final group shot <3 <3 <3#💙🖤🤍
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Ok so Stray Dogs Wonderland NCR dorm placement both ADA and PM., with explanation.
[Prev SDW post]
Atsushi [First Year]: He values justice, responsibility, and doing what’s right, which fits well with the rule-oriented nature of Heartslabyul.
Kenji [First Year]: I went here mostly by vibes but it also helped that he's cheerful and easygoing person, but also has his own unique logic that feels like the chaotic side of Heartslabyul.
Tachihara [First year]: Here it's heavy on Tachihara's duality. He has lots of loyalty to his mission, and the internal conflict mirror the dorm’s rule-driven nature, perfectly, while his chaotic, unpredictable personality fits the playful disorder of this dorm.
Chuuya [Second year]: His strength, resilience and loyalty makes him a great fit for Savannaclaw since this is a dorm of perseverance and pride. Especially when we take into account his competitive nature and commanding presence make him an obvious Housewarden.
Dazai [Second year]: He was a perfect pick for the Octavinelle. He's charismatic, manipulative and cunning, which perfectly alligns with what Octavinelle as a dorm is.
Kajii [Second year]: Unlike Dazai Kajii is the other side of Octavinelle. The chaotic creativity and penchant for destruction, and unconventional yet fitting for Octavinelle when you take into account his ability to strategize amidst the chaos and adapt to unpredictable situations, which embodies the dorms clever and resourceful nature.
Haruno [Second year]: At first, I thought about Pomefiore, but we already had so many characters in there, so I decided against it. I also considered Savannaclaw and Scarabia, but they didn't quite fit. In the end, I stuck with Octavinelle purely because of Haruno's intellect. It also felt right to make her a vice housewarden in her dorm.
Kunikida [Second year]: This choice was easy, just like Dazai's. The drive for perfectionism, discipline, and ideals—he’s the literal embodiment of Pomefiore. It felt perfect for a dorm that’s known for its image-conscious students. It also made sense to make him Housewarden (and a little poke at the fact that, in canon, he’s supposed to take over as head of the ADA).
Junichiro [First year]: I was heavily influenced by his gentle yet thoughtful demeanor and the protectiveness he shows (not only his obsessive care for Naomi, but also his willingness to stand up for others). Despite being a bit of a wimp, he’s protective and supportive. He’s also a vice housewarden to Kunikida.
Naomi [First year]: To be fair, I had a hard time choosing for her. At first, I thought maybe Heartslabyul would be good for her affectionate yet mischievous personality. Then I considered Octavinelle for her cunning and strategic side. In the end, I went with Pomefiore, blending her elegant and calculating nature. She’s charming, and her subtle manipulation would suit the dorm well. It also helps that Junichirou is here, as where he is, Naomi is likely to follow. But I do think she was probably in Octavinelle first and switched to Pomefiore less than a month later.
Rampo [Third year]: Another easy choice. He’s intelligent and prefers solitude, plus his amazing problem-solving fits Ignihyde perfectly. He’s brilliant and often dismissive of what he considers unnecessary social interactions, so this is 100% the right dorm for him.
Gin [First year]: She's a quiet, reserved nature and preference for working alone which instantly makes me thing of Ignihyde. She also thrives in environments that allow her to focus and stay out of the spotlight, and with her value for independence and efficiency makes her even better fit for this dorm as this is what Ignihyde is known for.
Katai [Bro did not finish his first year]: His introverted, no-nonsense personality and tendency to shut himself off from others make him a natural fit for this dorm—at least at first. His focus on getting things done, combined with his lack of interest in socializing, matches the dorm’s preference for efficiency and individual effort. However, Katai’s tendency to isolate himself and his struggles with interpersonal connection eventually led to his decision to drop out.
Yosano [Third year]: Diasomnia is a very fierce dorm, often associated with strength, authority, and a commanding atmosphere, which perfectly suits Yosano. Not only is she fierce and strong, but her role as a Housewarden also fits well with the dorm's atmosphere.
Akutagawa [Second year]: Well, to be fair his ambition, power, and relentless drive to prove himself make him a perfect fit for Diasomnia, a dorm which literally is centered around strength. His intense, brooding nature matches the dorm's atmosphere of mystery and transformation. He's also a vice to Yosano.
Kyouka [First year]: She’s resilient and carries strength with her despite her tragic past. As previously mentioned, Diasomnia is focused on power and overcoming inner turmoil (especially considering the storyline of Book 7), so it’s a great fit for Kyouka.
Lastly, The staff:
#Stray Dogs Wonderland#BSD x Twst#BSD AU#Twst#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#Alternative universe#Twisted Wodnerland#SDW
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I think it's interesting that the asteroid with my name is in my 1st house, conjunct my chart ruler and my ascendant. Talk about timing.
The story behind why they chose that name for the asteroid is also the same as the story this one lady told my mom after the lady learned my name (like, when I was a baby) and whenever I asked about my name, my mom told me about that lady and that story. Weird coincidence 😂
#my mom took about 1 week to choose that name#and for years i didn't feel like it suited me#i think it's just a name i need to grow into#or reclaim#at least that's how it feels like#my soul is just too heavy and tired for a name that sounds like summer and butterflies#😂#i was almost named johanna and i thought#that name suited me better tbh#guess what asteroid johanna is in my 5th house lol#i even thought to myself that if i ever wrote a book I'd use johanna as my author name 😂😂😂#weird coincidence#personal
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Vr46 academy keychains
Set of five charms that all match in different ways
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚
Open for detailed pictures of each one
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
˖⁺‧₊˚⭒✮⭒˚₊‧⁺˖
. ݁₊ ✶. ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗
I ran out of tags so I'll say it here but i would greatly appreciate a reblog, especially if you share your thoughts on these pieces in tags (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
(Also i forgot that bez have matching part with luca so I didn’t add that to tags sorry
#motogp#marco bezzecchi#pecco bagnaia#valentino rossi#celestino vietti#luca marini#mb72#fb63#vr46#cv13#lm10#vr46 academy#okay so i fear tags won't be enough for me this time but I'll try tell everything anyway#firstly i used nicknames (should have used maro but didn't think at the time) for everyone because it brings more of a family feeling than#when i do initials and that's exactly what i wanted with them. on the same note the wolves#the wolves were tge first thing that started this idea because i wanted to make bez charm and picked one up and then it expanded very fast#because let's all face it - they are basically a wolf pack and it's extremely fitting. also after taking these pictures i found mettalic on#for cele. and it's a huge slay because i really don't like mismatching colours of metal#probably the only one that i did mismatch is vale but amazingly it looks pretty neat. i also put as many turtles as i physically could#also except for wolves he also has matching beads with cele and luca if you can spot them#while cele matches luca and bez#bez matches cele and pecco while pecco matches only bez. it was quite a challenge to find beads that would suit their different#colour schemes while looking organic in keychains#also for bez i used a wrench bc of his family and i think that's pretty neat detail#it was absolute mindfuck to find beads for five different keychains at the same time because of how different they all are but i tried#also put a lot of effort into not repeating myself as much as j could in structures so they all have their own personalities outside of set#also i love that “bez” part looks like fangs icl#if you see bead that stands out by colour from all others in keychain it's probably for their eye colour because i love to add that too#also used old bez livery because what we had this year was horrible#actually i made it some time ago just never had time to post
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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i wanna crochet something for someone as a gift. the only problem is that i was like seventeen the last time i crocheted anything. i think i remember how to hold the thing...?
#im not sure if my grandmother would approveor disapprove#on the one hand i guess it'd be nice to see that i didn't waste what she taught me#on the other hand she was adamant that i never got into this kind of thing all that much#a combination of her looking down at her own job hating how little it pays and wanting something different for me#funnily enough there were never gender reasons for it#maybe because grandpa is pretty competent at sewing himself#but she clearly wanted me to have like a job in an office and to wear suits#and sorry but i like the prince of darkness look and work that is more stimulating than staring at documents all the time#anyway. crochet. i think i remember how to do that...#it's just a few vines and leaves. it should be beginner friendly#i feel like a beginner again so that's good#it's been like 15 years....
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maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)
#could be anything ofc but i sure went sighhh i'll read the nyt review for science; i'm already assuming it's a piece of shit#(it was; thus predictably; a piece of shit. even the nyt rave for a show i liked was basically a piece of shit)#the only thing that makes raves higher quality is they might have actually bothered giving more info abt the show#& otherwise have devoted more thoughts & less space to just the critic's dogshit directionless griping. but barely; so#anyway i was like oh i can search twitter easily for a word as distinctive as bloodsong (except also a ship name for some videogame)#then i was like oh my god at a post from jenashtep about like oh it's the anniversary of two days in a row Events#first when the nyt bsol review was published second when i went to your apartment to make sure you weren't dead#(wait she didn't say To Make Sure You Weren't Dead she says Because I Thought You Were Dead....throw a glass situations)#like well damn also hmm....(also first thing the nyt would've covered at all i think. tbs never played in ny....or nj evidently)#one can only imagine. bsol is so [it does feel very christmas extravaganzay to me in ways. not the same lord knows but]#that like I'm riled fourteen years later finally listening to a boot which leaping into the arms of someone lifting up an Audio#same as xmas like sure i can't be like oh it's about this that the other precise moment though there are ones that extra rile me#can't say it's so obvious like i could Elevator Pitch explain to a rando why i Gasp or get weepy or just have some very special experience#plus i've never even gone lol. the way they can't stop the xmas show b/c it's a musical that just crops up a weekend a year lol#i'm so already like oh of course this is something i'm obsessed with forever now :) unsurprisingly & like it's so idiosyncratic god bless#(also unsurprisingly bloodsong seems to have been broadly warmly received; save by the Newspaper Of Note(tm) taking a dump & calling it a#day like will was saying abt tbs l.a. like oh audiences loved it local online coverage loved it just the less than halfassed review by the#Big Paper didn't & was like ''why isn't this a whole other thing'' called it a day)#anyway like hey I'm absolutely on fire for Outlaw for Not In Your Soul You Don't for Last On Land for Friendship Song to name a few#for what ended up being my proper angle of entry like oh that means a funny little villain then? (yes) like boy is that a banger alone#think thusly nominated for off bway relevant awards; got more than one nom....hey for one thing fourteen yrs later a rando can be obsessed#like that same rando cherishes the memory a livestream livechat interview where i said Black Suits Forever & they put that up onscreen so#joe had to pause like sorry i got distracted someone said black suits forever that's a line from the show & it's So that that show of mine#that never played in new york....like That's Right lol. i'm slamming the xmas fanart up to your window for year three joe Joseph the Show#(he did also see the bsol fanart which i more discreetly made a reply given he saw that Yay Krampusfucking reply last year lol)#anyway uh um. oh yeah wait also bloodsong is lifechanging sort of to me personally i'm just like. so relatively evenkeeled about it like#well of course :) & it counts as lifechanging when i get anticsful Posting. & it's lifechanging Any shows Any songs that are any kind of#impactful. speaking of like individual numbers in cabaret shows or the entire show or the album or concert or anything#as i reblog Outlaw again yelling or go god damn one Understands how last on land is the penultimate song on album#or i say to myself Whenever I Eat A Noodle; I Like To Think About The Hwheat That It Used To Belong To
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heyyy so you’ve probably been asked this a gazillion times before, but how is your moto gp knowledge so impressively vast? was there a specific moment where you decided to REALLY get into its lore? tysm for all of your hard work btw(pulling articles, explaining things, etc)!!! 💖🥺
very kind + appreciated!! it honestly just sort of happened over the years... I do always feel like a bit of a fraud when discussing motogp because my understanding of the actual sport is inevitably pretty limited,, like at the end of the day this is very much my second sport. didn't grow up watching it, haven't competed in it myself, don't have the same knowledge base to fall back on. which means I do kinda feel extra compelled to try and actually understand what I'm watching lol, do my due diligence and all that. plus, research is fun!! my level of investment in motogp has definitely ebbed and flowed over the years, obviously currently it's more flowing than ebbing...
but yeah,, anyway, much of this lore research happened during the pandemic, partly because it was the first time I felt like I could splurge on the videopass and 'watching twenty seasons worth of motorcycle racing' is an extremely pandemic-flavoured activity. so that's probably the answer! blame covid. I also think the sport is very rewarding to do lore research for because relatively speaking they do make it pretty easy for you. a few websites/blogs that are leagues better than the equivalent you'd get in Certain Other Sports, some judicious use of the wayback machine and an assortment of invaluable books - plus you actually have a working video archive!! I would shoot someone to have a videopass equivalent in Certain Other Sports, like I get all the complaints and I have plenty of minor quibbles but honestly it's fantastic. for all this talk about motorcycle racing and whatnot, really the most important thing about motogp is that it's the archivist's dream
#also low key the journalists are just like. better. like i hate to prop them up but#oxley obviously but also emmett aka mr motomatters. again i'd shoot someone for more sports writing like that Elsewhere#tennis fucking sucks man we're one of the biggest sports around and our media ecosystem feels like it'd barely be suited to cover padel#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#pandemic is when i watched 2003-05 and went from 'yeah the curse thing is a funny story!! :D'#to 'wait what the fuck hOW is everyone not talking about this all the time'#that was the biggest development really. i'd already thought casey was neat even though i didn't get to see him race#but yeah it's still an odd sport for me because i do feel like i'm held back by just this knowledge gap i'll never be able to breach#which is fun in a way because it's all constantly more novel and mysterious to me... but also kinda frustrating#and i never feel all that well informed#like i got my tennis coach license when i was fourteen - a couple of years before i even watched my first race. so it's all relative y'know#all i've got going for me is my note taking skills and common sense
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todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing
#orv liveblog#should i tag spoilers for like. ramble in tags??#ok i'll do it just to be safe#orv spoilers#idk in case my webtoon only irl friend suddenly decides to log back into her tumblr after 3 years#context chapter 311/46th scenario#ok theres a lot going on here#first off 1863th round yjh is a character made to haunt me specifically so when the name hell of eternity came up wow i was feeling like#500 emotions at once and none of them were good#second i saw someone on lofter say today that most of the talking kdj and yjh do in this book is through fights and just#LIKE I JUST. cannot get over how our perspective of their relationship is just always being filtered through these two people#who are just fuckin INCAPABLE of TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS like NORMAL PEOPLE#like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these#insanity inducing details like yjh paying to extend his midday rendezvous with kdj for 3 years and just using it as a personal journal#and then you get past all the fuckin. the two of them beating the shit out of each other by way of communicating and its like#'i want to lock you up so you'll stop dying because im scared im not strong enough to be able to stop you and we cant lose you again' LIKE?#SIR WHAT??????? HELLO??????????????#also the line that made me start pacing in circles around the water cooler while swearing in mandarin was specifically#'i couldn't be the protagonist. i couldn't save someone else'#says the DEMON KING OF SALVATION. like damn its 'sacrifice's will is a stigma that didn't really suit me' all over again#like i love that kdj has the nerve to be like 'of course i dont want to die' and yjh just absolutely does not buy it for a second#god. i want to hit him on the head with a brick.
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I accidentally found a Japanese string quartet cover of Atom Heart Mother and it's SO EPIC
Thus quartet also covered a bunch of other rock stuff like 21st Century Schizoid Man, Dancing With The Moonlit Knight, Money, Master Of Puppets etc and it's awesome, I'm only sad that they didn't do Echoes
#pink floyd#atom heart mother#morgaua quartet#tbh I'm not such a huge fan of strings in most of the classical music I've heard#but I do love strings in rock music or when they do rock covers or just play rhythmic stuff#I mean I used to play cello for years but my teacher only gave me classical pieces that were okay but I still got a bit bored#I also just wasn't feeling the instrument though winds suit me much better#our band's second bassist who also plays cello on the other hand is very talented and you can see that she loves her instrument#and I like the way she experiments with it to fit it into rocksongs that didn't have strings in the original#Spotify
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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girl help.
#having a crisis of Gender™️#bc I was so comfortable with nonbinary for so long#but now the more comfortable I get in my lesbianism#the more I'm starting to feel connected to (my) womanhood#which at first I felt like I didn't have a particular connection to Anything#nonbinary just felt Right at the time for me#even genderfluid at one point#but now I'm starting to feel more of a comfort and connection to being a woman (again?)#but I feel this weird guilt bc it's been years and I feel like a fraud or smth#but I guess if being a woman and maybe butch/masc lesbian is the conclusion that feels best#then I shouldn't force myself into a label that no longer suits me??#(btw I <3 nonbinary lesbians and think they are all very valid this is just My Own Feelings)#sid rambles
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