#like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these
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todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing
#orv liveblog#should i tag spoilers for like. ramble in tags??#ok i'll do it just to be safe#orv spoilers#idk in case my webtoon only irl friend suddenly decides to log back into her tumblr after 3 years#context chapter 311/46th scenario#ok theres a lot going on here#first off 1863th round yjh is a character made to haunt me specifically so when the name hell of eternity came up wow i was feeling like#500 emotions at once and none of them were good#second i saw someone on lofter say today that most of the talking kdj and yjh do in this book is through fights and just#LIKE I JUST. cannot get over how our perspective of their relationship is just always being filtered through these two people#who are just fuckin INCAPABLE of TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS like NORMAL PEOPLE#like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these#insanity inducing details like yjh paying to extend his midday rendezvous with kdj for 3 years and just using it as a personal journal#and then you get past all the fuckin. the two of them beating the shit out of each other by way of communicating and its like#'i want to lock you up so you'll stop dying because im scared im not strong enough to be able to stop you and we cant lose you again' LIKE?#SIR WHAT??????? HELLO??????????????#also the line that made me start pacing in circles around the water cooler while swearing in mandarin was specifically#'i couldn't be the protagonist. i couldn't save someone else'#says the DEMON KING OF SALVATION. like damn its 'sacrifice's will is a stigma that didn't really suit me' all over again#like i love that kdj has the nerve to be like 'of course i dont want to die' and yjh just absolutely does not buy it for a second#god. i want to hit him on the head with a brick.
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LET'S BURN aka Morning Star thoughts
YOU KNOW HOW WE DO
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT lets GOOoOooooOooooooOOO
Trigg was a gay icon "Stay close. Nut to butts here, dont be shy."
RAGNARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I cried UGLY TEARS on my drive home from work. The only time I cried during the book. Ragnar talking about how he will build him a house next to his but don't come to the Veil too quickly because it will take him a while to build it. Telling his sister to live for more. Smiling even at the end.
PB, why bro. You have damaged me by doing the following.
1.) Killing Pax (THE ENDING DONT TOUCH ME, WELL GET TO IT)
2.) Killing Pax's archetype replacement
You make me like Pax, you take him away. You make me LOVE Ragnar and you take him away. Ragnar UNDERSTOOD, he understood the Rising and what it all meant more than most and you TOOK HIM AWAYYYYYYY. *Slams fist on table*
Ok ok ok ok also small side note when they crashed and encountered Cassius and Aja (i love to hate this bitch) and Mustang has her bow drawn on Cassius and is like
I WILL PUT YOU DOWN
and in my brain I'm like "nah she wouldn't"
and then she FIRES the shot into Cassius' neck
((the plot armor on this man is actually crazy))
And I had this amazing moment when listening to the audiobook that I got goosies...I imagined the snow around her and her hair blowing around her face and DETERMINATION in her eyes as she fires the shot
I was so PROUD of her
I was like
Sevro and Darrow's fight was awesome. Sweet, even. Talking about how he can see the protectiveness in Darrow's eyes when he was looking at the refugees on Tinos. His head on Darrow's knee. Talking about Eo & Sevro talking about how all he wanted was to cause wrath in the wake of his father's murder. He questions his leadership abilities and doesn't want it. I understand because he was the one that was still looking for Darrow. Saved him from torment and torture. He came back different, broken and defeated. Sad. ANGRY. Then how quickly leadership fell back to Darrow when he was the one that worked during that year that the Rising wavered when everyone thought The Reaper had been killed.
OH OH OH
one of my favorite parts of this book was The Reaper's speech. Because he wasn't Darrow, he was REAPER. He's also dramatic as fuck and I love him. He was standing up there in front of Refugees and I got GOOOOOOSIIESSS bitch when the people were like, reaching out to touch him, I was like THIS SHIT IS CRAZY. He has no branding and he's like
"I STAND BEFORE YOU A MAN UNBOUND" and people are gasping in shit cause he's like the first person in hundreds of years to bear no sigils of color.
"I speak now to Golds, to the Aureate who rule. I have walked your halls, broken your schools, eaten at your tables and suffered your gallows. You tried to kill me. You could not. I know your power. I know your pride. And I have seen how you will fall. For 700 years you have ruled over the dominion of man, and this is all you have given us. It is not enough."
I could see why people wanted to follow him. That speech was fucking EPIC.
Other thoughts. Romulus us gunna be a problem. I also think Lysander is going to have a big role. Idk what but my spidey sense is tingling. After all that trauma he was just TOTALLY OK to talk to the Ash Lord and help get the plan moving...?
Pls dont tell this little boi is about to be Jackal 2.0
OMFG THE JACKAL
BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII this man is inSANE!
Nuclear warfare because he wasn't getting his way??? Wanting Darrow to kill himself LIVE? DARROWS HAND GETTIGN CHOPPED OFF
BRO I THOUGHT CASSIUS BETRAYED THEM I WAS SO FCKING PISSED. I was like YO CASSIUS IT IS ON FUCKING SITE THE NEXT TIME WE SEE YOU BRO COUNT ON IT COUNT YOUR DAYS
Then I was like oh ok nevermind
All because of that little fucking holocube, the GOAT of GOATS. Showing Cassius' family being disposed of.
I have a few GOATs of this book.
(secret GOAT is Sophocles. i want to give him a jellybean)
1.) Mustang. Firing that arrow and in the discussion with Romulus she was KEY.
2.) The defiant Pink that opened the bay on the Moonbreaker. Shaking but defiant, angry at her overlords. Amazing moment.
3.) Victra. Her moment when she saw Darrow having to make a hard decision and blowing the stuff on Ganymede to cripple Romulus and The Rim. "Share some of the load, darling. This is on me." What a fucking GOAT.
4.) Sevro. CRUCIAL to taking Aja down. That shit was 3 v 1 and they would NOT have won without him. Him low to the ground moving like an animal smirking like "YOURE GUNNA DIEEE TODAY BITCH" im like
Because Aja was such a THREAT bro. I was so NERVOUS someone was going to die and they almost did!
OH OH OH (im so sorry i was up all night until like 9am finishing the audiobook so Im kind of delirious) Darrow rushing Octavia on LIVE TV and going like *shink shink shink shink shink shink shink* in her stomach with his teeth bared and I'm like YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BITCCHHHHHH
Finally, I was oddly, ODDLY uderstanding of why Mustand kept baby Pax a secret. For a split second I was like "WOAH WAIT WTF-" But then I was like ".....Yeah, no that makes sense." She understood what Darrow wanted but wasn't sure if the Rising would be like the genecide of Golds, her people. So she wasn't sure she couldt rust him. I get it. Nodding in understanding. Valid. She wanted to see if he was capable of BUILDING. She knows he can destroy. But can he follow up the revolution by actually building a better future.
Now she knows he can, and he has a BABBBBYYYY
I do know there is a massive time jump in the next book and multiple POVs. I'm nervous but ready.
*Random side side note
Sevro and Victra came out of nowhere for me and was something I didn't get at all
*side side side note
The Telemanus' are also GOATs
Kavax and Daxo are babies
*side side side side note, one of my other favorite moments was before they drilled with their clawdrills intot he Moonbreaker and Darrow says
"Drills hot. Helmets up. LET'S BURN." GOOOOSSSIESS
audiobook narrator performance was FANTASTIC
#red rising saga#morning star#darrow#darrow of lykos#sevro au barca#victra au barca#mustang#virginia au augustus#kavax au telemanus#daxo au telemanus#adrius au augustus#aja au grimmus#octavia au lune#good riddance bitches#trifecta of cunts are gone
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Decided to just send this in directly but! I have explanations for everything so buckle in bc when i say i have brain rot about this fic I MEAN IT ITS SO GOOD
1. BI BUG CONFIRMATION. ENOUGH SAID.
2. I will never forget reading that scene from season 1 of steve driving bug home w her bike in his trunk and her all flustered about it and i dont super remember what time of day it was in the scene but in my head it was right after sunset where the sun has set but its light creates this contrast that makes everything look cool toned in comparison to whats in the light n i wanted to play w that in the coloring also im a sucker for steve n his big arms so this was almost entirely self indulgent
3. The cardigan bc i needed to. I re read that chapter constantly it gives me all the warm n fuzzies and thats good for the soul
4. The phones were both an “i need to put this in here immediately bc my brain never stops thinking about it” and a filler for blank space. The colors for each are tied to what s3 bug and what s3 are associated w in my head like you cannot tell me bug isnt soft ivory coded and steve is not light grey-blue coded in s3 it just feels right for them (plus i needed to reference the nicknames at least once my very soul craved it)
5. Dustins hat was a lil bit of a last minute thing, i was working on a bigger piece w all of this kids n their looks for season 3 but it wasnt coming out the way i wanted it to so i scrapped it but i still wanted a something in there that wasnt steve or bug related and it felt fitting to put in dustins camp know where cap both bc of his relationships w steve n bug and bc every now and then i think about how dustin felt ditched by the party at the beginning and how heartbreaking that scene was when i read it n how much i just wanted to hug the lil guy bc feeling lonely at an age like that is so devastating it made my heart hurt for him so i wanted to have a lil thing for dustin in there somewhere
6. In the show i really liked the whole bit w steve asking girls out and robin keeping score n before you wrote this scene i was curious as to how you were going to go about it and it ended up cracking me up dude i love that scene if him just being awkward and so not “king steve” suave and i needed to put down how my brain saw that scene to something visual bc it was so ugh hes such a dork i love steves himbo self
7. Follow up is the lil doodle of steve n robin running around high as hell and there was no way i wasnt going to include that somehow if i am given the chance to write the phrase “trash popcorn” and draw robin frolicking i will take it with both hands and bolt
8. Going back to the whole “steve is a desaturated light blue in s3” thing i just wanted an excuse to draw my boy being cute in my head this is when hes helping bug put away books at her job and yes the anatomy is a lil wonky but i luv him and his hair swoops and joes side profile is so very fun to draw <3
Over all come home is wonderful n amazing and i love it n ur brain is so big n full of wrinkles
i genuinely cried when i first saw this im not kidding. im speechless, its so fucking beautiful and everything you drew from the fic is captured SO perfectly i cannot even begin to explain how much this means to me :(((( thank you so so so so much. truly.
the DETAILS ???? you brought the cardigan to life. its exactly how i envisioned it in my head, its BEAUTIFUL :((((( and bug being ivory and steve a blue ,,,, god you really truly nailed this i again cannot put into words how PHENOMENAL this is. the telephone lines being connected with their nicknames, steve carrying a box of books at bugs job, him driving and the setting sub (which you got EXACTLY. it was the same i envisioned in my head writing that scene), the bi colors on the lady bug like are u kidding me !!!! youre insane and i LOVE YOU !!!
steve n high robin doodle is so <333 and the steve scene at scoops with his flustered monologue in the background made me giggle so hard oh my god.
i know you dont know this, but my birthday is tomorrow and this is the best gift ive ever been given. i want to frame the doodles and put it on my bedroom wall because i am astounded and in awe of your talent and still so baffled my fic was brought to life !!!!! its mind boggling and i cannot thank you enough for this experience <333
(obviously with ur permission in reference to wanting to print n frame the doodles because theyre so dear to me and i respect ur talent !!)
#n3muru#ask#m speaks#ch creations#im so serious i want to print this out and frame it#this is everything to me#i sobbed#my sister asked why and i showed her the pic and she also was like oh my GOD#ur so crazy talented im so so so in awe
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Percy Jackson and The Olympians Season 1 Review (1/3)
What I like:
It has color! Disney tends to do their live actions shows/series dark or gray ,so I am pleasant to see colors popping up on the screen. Walker's eyes and the orange shirts are a highlight for me!
Set design is impressive! The team behind it did an excellent job. Each cabin is INSANE! Olympus is sooooo marvelous as well!
I was doubting of Lin being casted as Hermes but he proved me wrong and he did a great job
NICO DI ANGELO'S VOICE!
The credits are so cool and cute! Love the art!
Like the casting for Ares, Dionysus, Poseidon, Sally and Hephaestus
NICO DI ANGELO SCREAMING "BIANCA"
I can see why Walker was chosen as Percy. He fits the character so well,has the vibe,the mannerism,the eyes. My only complaint is the hair,they could and should have made him wear a wig. If Miley Cyrus could do it, Walker can! They have the money to buy one,there are not excuses
Seeing the Mythomagic deck was super cool! Love the design!
Cerberus!
In all seriousness,they foreshadowing the di Angelo siblings using their voices was smart AF, because casting them at this point requires a lot of hard work,time and money that may not pay off
Percy driving scene,love it!
The scene of Grover being pulled to Tartarus is really well done and faithful to the books, truly makes you feel the tension of the moment!
Sally in the rain while Logical by Liv Rodrigo is playing is incredible,completely in love with that scene! My girl just wants to feel a ounce of how she felt while being with Poseidon,it is so tragic!
The Lightning Bolt and Hades Helmet are sooo cool, really well design,I want them!
Ares bleeding Ichor!
The interaction between Poseidon and Percy was cute and I like what Poseidon said about Percy having trouble following rules, but that it was his fault because that is how the ocean is . Super wholesome moment!
Percy calling Kronos grandpa is hilarious
Stuff I feel conflicted about:
Even if I love to see what Mythomagic looks like, I feel that making it a demigod stuff instead of Nico's precious hobby takes away from him. The game is in part a connection to his past, to his era, his sister and a side that divides him from the rest. Nico feels like an outcast even among outcasts, and the other demigods feel he is kinda strange. Even Percy, who tried to be friendly, thought Mythomagic was lame. I don't know, I just think it should be only his stuff
What I dislike:
The entire cast looks nothing like their book counterparts and it is distracting to me. I am going to compare it to the One Piece Live Action to explain my feelings. With OP I did not need to be told who was who ; and I already was fangirling that Coby was in the background,or Buggy will be next episode, or Helmeppo is hot for some reason,etc. Here I was like "some dudes are looking at Percy,is he supposed to be Luke? I do not know. He may be,but I am not sure." And hey,look at that ,he turned out to be Luke!. I don't know,I don't love that, it takes away from the experience and characters
Percy was angsty in a way that feels out of character to me. Like,in the books he was sad that his mother "died",obviously,but he still had his kindness. Here, his anger was more reminiscent of Harry after Sirius died in the books. Trashing everything,yelling,full of fury. And it felt wrong for Percy to act like that. For example: in the books when Percy finally wakes up, he tells Grover that they are still friends and that he know he did everything in his power to help him and his mother. In the show Percy is super cold and actively distances himself from Grover until the quest is going to start, and it feels like Percy chose Grover to go with him because that's how the book go, yet Show Percy dont feel particularly excited for Grover to be there,he dont seems to miss him after their fight , nor thinks of him as his best friend. He said himself "finally I have friend" referring to Luke and the other guys in camp,meaning Grover was not. Which takes me to the next point
Grover is treated awfully by the writers. Everyone keeps telling him to go away. Chiron and Mr D. seem tired of him. In Lotus Casino, Percy and Annabeth acted like they were forgiving him for forgetting them,even if they knew it wasn't his fault that he didn't remember. The writers made the naiad give Percy four pearls only to make Grover lose one, which was unnecessary and just makes him look stupid or incompetent. The list goes on,you get the idea. Grover is not treated with respect by either writers or the narrative
We were told but not shown Annabeth's fear of spiders (that is another problem of the show,it tells but don't show), they didn't mention her passion for architecture and dreams of becoming an architect. Also,I don't love the idea of her listening to Luke's plan. My girl is supposed to still have hope for Luke to change his mind,she believes in his kindness and is in negation and defends him when people calls him "evil" for four books in a row. They taking away all these details ,plus she not having a crush on Luke feels like they are taking away what makes Annabeth herself while removing the side of her that is just a teenager girl. She is supposed to be kind as well, that is why people like Frank feel safe asking her for help because he knows she is not going to laugh of him. Here she is way more stoic. You can be smart and warm at the same time,Rick. It is possible, you wrote it that way 18 years ago
Sally yelling to Percy. I know that people say we should not trust Book Percy's POV because he sees his mom as perfect (fair point) but I think that if Percy has such a great perception of her is for a reason. Also ,I am willing to believe that if Percy says his mother never got mad and screamed at him for being expelled from schools,it's because is true. In the show almost all the flashbacks are her shouting at him. Book Sally don't do that because she understands,she knows who Percy's father is,she knows what having a child of him would mean,she knows that the magical and strange stuff that Percy experience is not his fault; that is why she is patient and kind,and what makes her such a great,mature,kind mother; and they took that away from her.
The acting was not the best in the first episodes. Now ,it got better as the show went on, but in the first 3 episodes legit feels like they are reading the script from a carbon board. I do not know if it is because of the directors or lack of experience playing the characters and that is why it improves later on or what, but it is really noticeable
They are skipping or cutting scenes really weirdly , just fading to black and showing the aftermath of situations. Like Sally's car crashing after the Minotaur attack. At one point we see the Minotaur coming, then the screen goes to black and next scene they are crashed. Or with the animal escape we see them in the car and next scene they are in the streets free. It makes the pacing feel strange, takes away the momentum and feels kinda lazy coming from such a big production.
They tell us but do not show the magic in this world and is frustrating! For example, in Narnia no one tells Lucy or us the rules but we see it. With the music cue we know the Wardrobe is special in some way. The she gets inside it and walks backwards,and keeps going and keeps going and keeps going, which is weird, and there are trees! Later, when Mr Tumnus plays his flute, we see that it's magical and makes Lucy fall asleep; and after that she returns to the normal world and we know hours have passed yet Peter is still counting, meaning in our world just have been seconds. In the Percy Jackson's world an easy way to show the magic is with the Mist, but instead they decided to just tell us everything with endless,boring exposition dialogue
Connected with the prev point,they never figure out who any of the creatures/monsters are (except from Echidna) and is boring. Every scene is the trio meeting them and immediately going "you are Medusa", "You are Crusty and here is all the information about you". Yes,the characters know them from myths, but each creature/monster has gone through changes to blend in modern times,making it tricky to be immediately recognizible, that's the fun of the books.
I also feel the world building was lacking. Like people who are watching the show without having read the books do not know there is no Hades Cabin or which Cabin is for which God. Bet some of them think the first three Cabins are for Zeus, Poseidon and Hades but no; Cabin 2 is Hera's and is and always will be empty because she is the goddess of marriage, meaning she is 100% loyal to Zeus. And please correct me if I am wrong, but they did not mention the Mist nor Ambrosia,isn't it? Because I genuinely can not recall. All these details are important and are missing. They are also wasting the opportunity of foreshadow future characters. Like how cool would be to see an 8 year old Will! Or get know Cabin 9 and Beckendorf, that would give Percy a connection with him earlier than in the books and make us book readers hype to see Leo's Cabin!
The friendship with Luke feels underdeveloped. Percy says "finally I have friends" but I feel he barely knows him and we dont even know the name of the other dudes who supposedly are his friends. The show could have benefited from having two full episodes taking place in the Camp and moving the flashbacks from episode 8 to episode 2, it would feel more natural
Luke not having his scar. The reason I think it is important is because for Luke looking himself in the mirror is a constant reminder of his father, his grudge towards him, his quest and the failure it was and the shame he feels about it. All those feelings boiled down inside him and is the reason he joins Kronos. Taking the scar away takes that complexity. See it as the equivalent of Zuko's scar in the Percy Jackson universe
Part 2 • Part 3
#Percy Jackson#Percy Jackson and the Olympians#Percy Jackon and the Olympians#Percy Jackson Series#Percy Jackson Show#PJO Show Crit#PJO Critical#pjoverse#rrverse
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okay fuck
ngl it was... i dont want to say disappointing, bc it wasn't, but it was surprising i think
like i get some things have to be rushed, hopefully s2 will have a bigger budget and they'll have more time or more episodes, but one thing im not digging a lot is the cuts in this episode is particular, like when percy tells annabeth what he talked with hermes, but they dont show that conversation, its a bit weird, but not too off throwing
also! not sure how to feel about the introduction of may castellan so early on, but not much was said enough for it to truly matter or change anything, so im just not gonna mind
also didn’t think hermes's presence was necessary in the first place, and i didn’t think lin's acting was as interesting as ares or dionysus or haephestus
but having said that, i actually really liked the vibes of this episode, especially since the show has been more character and plot driven rather than action driven
it was slow, yes, but it was fitting, and i think it was a nice break from the rush of the last two episodes, and i loved seeing percy and annabeth work together like that, and i LOVE how much they're showing grover's dedication to finding pan
also the wise girl, and percy driving the taxi were fucking highlights
and like, two things really caught my eye and have me insanely excited for an explanation
one is the flashback hermes shows percy, like wtf is going on there, i see young percy in the car on his own in front of a house, and given the conversation all i can think is it has smth to do with sally, possibly with gabe, possibly hinting at the abuse she went through, possibly hinting at how much it cost her to do everything to keep percy safe, of what it was for her to love poseidon and know he loves her and know they can't be together, and i really hope we get an explanation
the second is the FOUR PEARLS, like we KNOW sally doesn't leave the underworld, not only bc that's in the books, but bc shes not there in the preview for next episode, and fuck am i antsy to see just how they're going to lose the fourth pearl, will it be luke's fault when grover gets almost dragged to kronos? will it be on their way to hades? what makes him lose the pearl?
and ohhhh, it was one thing to leave sally bc he didn't have a way to bring her with them, it's completely another thing to have to leave her behind bc he lost the way to get her, and i can't wait to see his ANGER, god fuck i want to see a completely feral percy fight ares
so yeah, not my favorite episode, especially back to back to how fucking amazing last episode was, but im really excited for the things to come and how its changed some things that leave us, the book readers, in the dark as well
really looking forward to next week :)
edit lmao i forgot the ONE change that really upset me: what the fuck do you mean they missed the deadline? like now what lmao? richard whY?
#pjo#pjo show#pjo tv show#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth chase#grover underwood#walker scobell#leah sava jeffries#aryan simhadri
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I liked death stranding overall. I have a weakness for these sort of auteur works where it's one person running the show. On one hand that mean the end result is a unified work, atmospherically, thematically, etc. (books are the og. No editor can completely erasure the depressed little weirdos that famous authors are.) And I personally really love that sort of consistency in a work. Which isn't to the opposite cant be good to. FFXIV for example is massively popular and you can tell there's 15 thousand cooks stirring the pot and each has their own ideas for stories which makes the game inconsistent it's a bunch of separate chunks all squished into one game. It makes the game disjoined as you can tell where one writer left off and another came of as the ways characters and plot lines are treated constantly change. Personally it drives me insane. But for auteur single creator works on the other hand because they are so dominated by one person they take on all the flaws and quirks of that creator and death stranding is an excellent example of that
Death stranding is weird. Kojimas sense of humor is weird. And I'm not even talking about how this game is amazon delivery norman reedus mpreg simulator like that man carried Lou 9 months to full term (Dont forget the piss mechanics). Kojima is baked into the very essence of the game. I remember one sidequest line vaguely about.. the mountaineer? And his wife and then you find out that she's the mountain climber so shouldn't it be the mountaineer and the mountaineer's husband.
You can tell Kojima wanted to direct a movie soo bad. Born to make movies forced to make videogames. I don't think i was the only one wondering if the game had multiple endings like when sam is deciding whether to shoot amelie or not. Speaking of that has to be the weirdest sibling relationship I have ever seen. Ignoring the reveal how amelie and Bridget are the same person. Has kojima never met siblings before?? Siblings dont act like that.
Oh yeah and the least american america ever. In terms of geography, sound design, and aesthetic that's iceland with an "america" label hastily slapped on top
Still I really liked Death Stranding I found the story to be emotionally compelling. The structure is fascinating with the different episodes but I all thought it worked really well to tell it's core narrative about fatherhood. The main antagonist being Sam's father and their relationship was one of the best parts of the work, there was a lot of genuine emotion there. And then Sam and Lou and how much gameplay is involved with litte little BB. Like I said I really liked the thematic cohesion everything is connected the strands and bridges, umbilical cord, and the network you spend the game physically connecting.
I never did get why every character was so invested in sam he's just some socially stunted recluse. Which did in the end play into the themes of connection as sam comes out of his shell a bit through the game. Like everyone really cared about Sam for little reason when he didn't really care back. Felt unrealistic but whatever it's a story. Although Sam did end up pretty important so
I should say I never played death stranding because because i dont like action games I watched several playthroughs. I don't really like any sort of time limited input game. "fast paced" "real time" are great ways to repel me from a game.
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hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”
i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)
i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)
your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.
now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.
"Sorry," Matty apologizes.
George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.
what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)
hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!
i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.
thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)
Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)
I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.
First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.
I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:
"it would be a waste of art."
Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!
I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.
I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.
Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚
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Mark of Athena, first reading thoughts:
—Forgot to post this again, who knows how long this has been on my notes.
—First, I loved having Annabeth's pov, I missed her as a central character and I loved the development she had here.
—BRO, they are all TOGETHER NOW AND THEY ARE IN A FLYING SHIP HAVING ADVENTURES. This the perfect setup, I would have read a 10 books series of just this.
—I liked so many diferent povs, at first I thought it may become confusing, but far from it, it was fun and so dinamic. I already love all these characters and getting in their heads throught the book was great.
— PERCY AND ANNABETH FINALLY REUNITED. 😭 It was so cute, 10/10
—The Argo II WAS SO COOL. It kind of reminded me of Legends of Tomorrow and I fricking love that show, I wish this dynamic of the seven on the ship lasted forever, I adore that kind of premise. Even the moments when they just weren´t getting along were interesting.
—I felt a vein popping out of my eye with all the Camp Jupiter hunting them down thing, because it was just a misunderstanding, but I do understand why it happend (a little), and it was just so frustraiting.
—All the interactions with Nemesis, Echo and Narcissus were such a trip, jesus.
—God, I fucking love Leo, not only because he is so funny, but because he is so incredibly smart. Is a diffrent kind of smart then Annabeth, wich I really love, they both bring interesting things to the table and is a delight to read.
—Wich is why Leo feeling so left out and like the "seventh wheel" was much more heartbreaking. He makes concernig comments the whole book, but because is just in his head nobody notices. I dont like where this is going...
—As much as I loved all the adventures, I was so stressed out for Nico the whole time, it was driving me insane.
—GJFHUYREGFEU Every single pov is so interesting, this book was GOLD. This is a masterclass in how to make distinctive narrative voices, it was so good.
—The break between Percy and Jason was actually very interesting. I was afraid it would be reduced to petty jelousy (wich it is a little, but I mean, they are teenagers), but there was some nuace there. Like, I felt like it drew interesting parallels of what makes them so opossite despite being the " "liders" " of their camps. It even drives home what makes the roman demigods and the greek demigods diferent.
—Jason being so serius and even cold, and Percy being as hotheaded as he is. Jason not knowing any other life apart from being a soldier vs Percy rejecting that life every chance he gets. Even the diferent perception they both have of the gods because each know a side of them the other doesn´t.
—Their possesed fight was kind of funny tbh.
—I also love having the chance to explore each characters powers with every obstacle, I feel like it was very well used, I never thought, "well, why didnt they used x power."
—"Please, she thought, wondering if her mom, the goddess of love, could hear her. Don’t let it be Jason’s final breath. If love means anything, don’t take him away" Oh, Piper, honey. These kids are legit breaking my heart.
—I really liked the scene of Annabeth and Percy on the stables, it was so sweet.
—I dont know exactly what it is, but I can tell this is a much more curated, experienced writter. And is absolutely fantastic to get so far into the series because I can tell by now Riordan knows these characters so well. They have so many layers, is specially interesting with Percy and Annabeth because we see them grow so much.
—The scene at the aquarium was very creepy and fun.
—Percy developing a fear of drowning was like, so sad.
—Ok Leo, I love you, but dont need to be a bully, come on.
—Jesus, the whole conflict Annabeth had with her mom in this book made me so sad. The way all the gods just use their children (and have been for generations) gets more unberable with each book, I dont respect any of them, these kids just... still try to make them proud and not think ill of them and its so unfair.
—Even the interaction with Aphrodite, I just kept getting angry. I got bad flashbacks from her praising the other two girls in front of Piper and making those weird comments.
—On this one it hits harder and harder that all this kids want is a future, a good life, and they just never get a chance.
—“You dropped this,” he said, totally poker-faced.
Annabeth threw her arms around him. “I love you!” (I died, actually)
—Was not a fan of Hercules´s aproach. Moving on.
— "Percy blinked. “So your brother is a winged horse. But you’re also my half brother, which means all the flying horses in the world are my... You know what? Let’s forget it.”
He’d learned years ago it was better not to dwell too much on who was related to whom on the godly side of things. After Tyson the Cyclops adopted him as a brother, Percy decided that that was
about as far as he wanted to extend the family." - Percy, I love you.
—Wisdom’s daughter walks alone. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
—The minute Annabeth went on her own I was so nervous, my heart was racing the rest of the book.
—Geez, I wanted to hug her so bad, everything just kept getting worse and worse.
—Gaea is seriusly getting on my nerves.
—There’s too much going on,” he said. “And honestly…before last month, I didn’t even know
when my birthday was. Thalia told me the last time she was at camp.” - That is so fucking sad.
— “What is that?” Jason asked nervously.
Piper slipped her hand into his. “The ghosts are dancing."
Dude! That entire scene of Piper, Percy and Jason and how it ralted with the story of the flood was AMAZING. Easy one of my favorite scenes from the whole saga.
—Rescuing Nico had me so stressed
—"Entertain me, heroes of Olympus." I- Im gonna kill him. I´m gonna kill ALL THE GO-
—Ok, but I liked Percy and Jason coming together and fighting alongside each other.
—Oh my poor Nico, CAN HE GET A BREAKE FOR ONCE
—My girl Annabeth, she is so smart, ahhhhh!
—But Also, WHAT WAS THE NEED TO MAKE HER SUFFER SO MUCH
—Few scenes had me in such a hold and as emotionally invested as the scene when Percy and Annabeth fall to Tartarus. What the Actual Hell. I was speechless for like an hour. The emotion, the tension, the terrible, brilliant moment when everything suddenly conects.
PEAK LITERATURE
— Nemesis wanted him to wreak vengeance on Gaea? Leo would be happy to oblige. He was going to make Gaea sorry she had ever messed with Leo Valdez.
I am filled with dread, and fear, and hype.
#fist reading#percy jackson and the olympians#this is from so long ago#sorry#there is probably some writting errors but i want to post them as i wrote them in the moment#i already read house of hades will post i hope soon#pjo#percy jackson#heroes of olympus
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🌵🥞📚🏡 for alex and/or seb :]
ill do this for alex! [:
🌵 CACTUS: What are some reasons someone might not like them? What are their personality flaws?
he is generally a very unlikable person who shows NO respect for anyone around him whatsoever. he's mean just for the sake of being mean so people will leave him alone. purposefully driving everyone away so he can mind his own business, which has bitten him in the ass big time because, now that he's being forced to work with and befriend people in order to get through his current situation, he has absolutely NO people skills whatsoever. he never listened to anyone's advice, or their comments on his attitude + behaviour, so he very literally does NOT know how to be a nice and polite person. and it's entirely his own fault for having his head stuck up his own ass thinking he's better than everyone else for so many years!
🥞 PANCAKES: What’s their comfort food?
a good fudgey gooey brownie... his mother used to make them for him and his siblings all the time and they were one of the few things that made him reconsider his stance on being an asshole. but he never truly appreciated them enough. he never bothered to ask for the recipe, or to help out with making them. so. well now that doesnt even sound like a comfort food anymore. basically lets just say if he had those brownies again in adulthood he may have become normal.
📚 BOOKS: Do they like to read? What kind of books do they like?
back when he was alive he had shit for brains and never cared for reading books, instead scrolling through insane forums online and getting into arguments over the most stupid things you've ever heard. now, in his downtime, he loves reading crime novels... and maybe has a little soft spot for romance novels but dont tell him i told you that he will kill me
🏡 HOUSE WITH GARDEN: Where do they live? Do they have a house to themselves or do they live with somebody, or something else?
since he died, he hasnt really lived anywhere, mostly floating around in this dimension between life and death, just hanging out doing whatever. but once he's sort of stuck on earth again, finding somewhere to live is a very, very big issue, and lives out of a car for a good chunk of the story. he will eventually end up with a home!! possibly. when i decide what direction i want to take the story in. it's fine. he's very. what's the word. strong???resilient??? Sturdy??? idk he can handle the elements. the cold doesnt affect him. he's fine.
trust me.
[:
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multiples of 7 for the character asks for bo!! <3
7. what quality do they like the least about themselves?
OOF. WHAT A WAY TO START. i think theres a Lot about himself bo doesn't like and he's still coming to terms with what a lot of that means like. In Context. of like. Everything. but i think Right Now the thing he doesn't like the most is that he makes people sad. because he can Tell but he also cant Help It and he's trying to find the balance between. opening up. and making people Worry about him. because he!!! does not want to affect the people he cares about in a negative way!!! its fine if they do that to him but not the other way around. he's not supposed to take up space <3
14. do you have a favourite conversation that they’ve had with another character? briefly describe it!
i definitely have favorite conversations with the pcs, but i think my favorite conversation with an npc was when they were in the book and bo got. a little mad. at bubba. for not just working things out with ezzy. and yelled at him a wittle bit. just bc i think that was like a Turning Point for bo of like. maybe the first time he ever acted selfishly towards someone? and knew he was acting selfish and said it anyway? and just being like. actually me and rosie deserve a full family so why cant you get your shit together. which like. in hindsight with everything we know about them now, Harrowing for bubba, but it was also bo like. showing he felt safe enough with bubba to get upset at him? bc that's pretty rare for bo
21. without revealing any secrets, how much of your character’s backstory does the rest of your party know about? 20%? 75%? 0%?
i mean. broad strokes, 100%. there's always going to be little details to flesh out, but bo backstory was pretty simple and didn't get changed at all from original version to now. all the nuance that's come with it has come from hollis. i didnt know jack shit about bubba or him and eabha's relationship or the rangers or anything. i found out In Game with everyone else (madly affectionate)
28. what is something that helps to comfort them?
talking to kai <3 kai is really good at both grounding him but also making him like. actually deal with stuff so he gets it out of his system. he's used to being like. oh i'm upset. gonna bury this forever. but kai is like. okay bud we're gonna talk through it and then chill out and bo is like wait huh this actually helps?? wild
35. pick a character that they know. what is something that they do that your character finds annoying/frustrating?
flip side of that,,, less annoying and more frustrating / concerning but. kai not eating well <3 bo is such a big food guy and like. is so used to people showing care through food. and so kai will stress bo needs to take care of himself because he deserves to feel good and then will have like. an iced coffee for breakfast and not eat again for 8 hours and it drives bo insane. he doesn't understand how they can be so in tune with things emotionally and also expect so much from their body and fighting abilities and then not take care of it right
42. how similar is your character to you?
MEAN QUESTION. i think more similar than i would like to admit but not as similar as i would fear. i think we have some good traits in common and some bad traits in common and some hangups in common but overall we have fairly different like. cores. and life experiences, obv. it is sometimes hard for me to play bo cause im like noooooo i dont want to say this but its what bo would say!!! it what bo would think!!!! im very much a Character Actor as a player and me and bo differ. A Lot in how we go about the world
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Shadow of Knight
Brynn lived on her own since she was young being a shadow that no one barely notices. Her past is complicated even with family and wants to make the best of it. No matter if she lost her insanity or not.
Ch8
"Bruce. Bruce?" Brynn called walking into the side of the manor. She looked around finding no sign of him and decide to to check the office where he usually is. Brynn looked through the books spines finding something to read and pulled one out randomly walking to the chair then started reading. Halfway through the book she heard someone walking in and stopped making her glace up seeing Alfred. With an unhappy look in his eyes and closed the book she was reading marking it with her finger. "When did you get in here?" Said Alfred folding his hands behind his back. "About a half hour ago. I thought Bruce would be here. But im guessing he's in school." Said Brynn. "Right as you are. Now that you're here. I want to ask you questions if you mind answering truthfully." Said Alfred stepping forward. "Can you answer mine first? Just one." Said Brynn. "Go on." Said Alfred stopping in front of the desk. Brynn sat straight in the chair looking at the desk for moment and looked at Alfred. "What did Jim tell you when i was told to stay here with Selina?" Said Brynn. "Why would you like to know that?" Said Alfred. "I'm only asking. Jim figured out my one big secret that only my parents and the Waynes know." Said Brynn. "He only told me that i cant get rid of you unlike Ms. Kyle. Youre important to us which he didnt explain why. Only you can." Said Alfred. "I want to tell you and Bruce about who i am but its if im facing death face to face." Said Brynn. "Well considering that you two brought the assassins over here" "They were after us. I know but the Group wouldve killed Bruce too but they didnt. They want to keep him alive for now. As for me. Im nothing but a freak just like my mother which Bruce's g- Im getting way to far ahead of myself. Im sorry." Said Brynn after taking a deep breathe.
She got up with her book and walked to the balcony window. "Actually im the one who should apologize." Said Alfred as Brynn stopped. "What? I thought you didnt me around." Said Brynn facing him. "Im only protecting him from the dangers here in Gotham. So Im sorry to treating you that way and I want to thank you for protecting Bruce while the others and myself were looking for him." Said Alfred following her to the balcony. "Hes still got a family out there. Blood or not." Said Brynn smiling at him before leaving. She walked on the grass at her pace while looking to see one watching on her way to her Hearse that was parked at the far end of the road where no one can see it from the woods. Brynn pulled out from her spot and drove off to a mini market. She walked in going through the aisles grabbing some things she needs then paid the cashier. "Want bags?" Said the male cashier. "Yes please." Said Brynn as Butch can in. "Brynn havent seen you for three months. How are you?" Said Butch walking to her. "Good and finally got the rods and cast off my leg. Now i got to deal with the brace." Said Brynn showing the black ankle brace that can be removed easily with velcro. "Good. What are you up to now that you dont work for Fish?" Said Butch. "Looking around Gotham when im not with my boyfriend." Said Brynn grabbing her two bags. "Boyfriend huh." Said Butch before asking for cigarettes. "Yeah. We were friends back when i met him and his brother at the circus. Caught up on things until he asked me." Said Brynn. "Well be careful. Fish and i dont like it when our favorite person gets hurt." Said Butch paying for his pack. "Im aware. See ya Butch. Say hi to Ozzy and Fish for me." Said Brynn walking out. She got in her seat driving to the Halsey Circus parking at her spot then began reading her book while waiting for Jerome.
Jerome walked out of his trailer taking out some bags of garbage dumping it in the over filled dumpster then spotted a familiar hearse making him smile. He went over seeing Brynn leaning against the drivers open window reading a book lost in the literature and leaned in kissing her cheek. Brynn turned her head seeing Jerome and got out after putting her book in the glove compartment. She hugged him pulling away for him kiss her lips eagerly making her lean back against the hearse. "Someone seems really happy to see me." Said Brynn. "Im always happy to see my favorite girl." Said Jerome holding her by the hips. "Im your only girl. No trouble with anyone?" Said Brynn touching his face. She began checking him for any bruises or cuts but Jerome held her hands stopping her. "Nothing to worry about okay. Besides mom has been gone doing her thing. Gave me time to clean up." Said Jerome. "Another fight?" Said Brynn. "More like screaming and stormed out. Possibly getting more alcohol." Said Jerome. "Sounds like her. At least i dont need to clean up anymore injuries. But always got the first aide under the casket." Said Brynn closing and locking up the doors. "I thought you had a coffin in there." Said Jerome walking her towards the trailer. "Its beginning to break so my old boss' friend wanted trade for a costume one." Said Brynn. "They seem really nice to do that." Said Jerome opening the door to his trailer. He got in first and held Brynn by the hand to help her get inside leading her to the coach. Brynn looked at the place seeing the small hallway leading to the bedroom at the end and the bathroom on the right, kitchen and dining table cleared out with very little bottles of beer, and lastly the living area with the tv mounted in the corner near the kitchen. "You really out did yourself. I remember we barely see anything with the empty beer bottles and cigarettes." Said Brynn.
"I had a lot of free time and plenty more for this." Said Jerome kissing Brynn gently laying her on the soft couch. Brynn kissed him back while catching an odd smell that hit her. The smell of old blood making her opening her eyes looking for the source. She then heard a knock at the door making Jerome pull away. "Who's that?" Said Brynn sitting up. "Wait here." Said Jerome walking to the door. Brynn looked around the floor for smell and spotted a faint smear of blood near her foot. "GCPD. We are looking for Lila Valeska." Said Jim outside. "Shes my mother what happened?" Said Jerome. Brynn didnt hear the rest as she looked around for more of the blood and found a another speck of blood on the cabinet under the sink. "Achoo!" Brynn sneezed as Jim looked behind Jerome. "Brynn?" Said Jim. "Hi Jim. Whats going on?" Said Brynn getting up and stepped out with Jerome's help. "You know the Valeska's?" Said Jim. "Im Jerome's girlfriend known him since we were kids." Said Brynn. "Lets just move on Lila is the type of party girl causing a scene like tonight." Said the Ring Leader. "Shiba? Whats wrong girl?" Said Brynn noticing the snakes odd behavior. "Shes stressed over something." Said Jerome looking to the cage. "How fast can she travel?" Said Jim. "A normal walking pace as us." Said Brynn. "Let her out." Jim says making Jerome look at him. "Excuse me?" Said Jerome. "Let her out. If she knows where her owner is then she'll lead us." Said Jim. Jerome looked at Brynn for a moment before taking Shiba out out and let her slither on the floor moving to a near by truck. They followed her as Jim found something under the tarp and pulled it back find Lila's chopped body making Brynn look away then saw Jerome tearing up. "No! Mom!" Jerome cried out dropping to his knees and cried in Brynns jacket. Brynn rubbed his head and back to sooth him while looking at the body then at the trailer. "You knew." Brynn heard from Jim. "We found her like that this morning." The Ring Leader said. "Get everybody to the station for questioning." Said Jim walking away with Lee leaving Jerome and Brynn alone. "Come on Jerome. Lets get to my hearse." Said Brynn helping him stand up. Jerome sniffed while nodding his head and held her hand firmly which Brynn caught on as they walked.
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my unnecessary thoughts about smackdown!!
Bianca and Naomi being amazing as always
Drew and his chest drive me insane
Big Jim with the pink and green fit?? Yes please!!
Jimmy taking the roll up win was nice
Drew crashing out wasn’t
I was begging for Roman to show up and protect Jimmy😭😭
Shawn please call Triple H and tell him how to properly book NXT call ups and women
Melo don’t Miz is absolutely amazing
R-Truth being a national treasure as always
LA-Truth are hilarious
Tiffany with the mjf burberry fit??
Nia being on smackdown despite transferring??
Charlotte pissing me off despite being objectively good??
Trish Stratus!!!
Naomi and Liv being cancelled like that was bs
The Rock with his long entrance and shitty theme pissed me off
KEEP THE FILRT FEST IN THE DMS
THIS COULDVE BEEN A PROMO PACKAGE OR SOMETHING
Kevin stalking Sami???
what???
DIY with their moment of silence bit is so funny
Pretty Deadly with the fire fits as usual
STREET PROFITS!!!!!!
MCMG!!!!!!!
and finally
DONT BURY MY BOY SOLO LIKE THAT😭😭😭😭
#wwe#roman reigns#the rock#wwe smackdown#solo sikoa#pretty deadly#diy#carmelo hayes#the miz#la knight#r truth#cody rhodes#street profits#mcmg#motor city machine guns#naomi wwe#liv morgan#bianca belair#kevin owens#sami zayn#jimmy uso#drew mcintyre#tiffany stratton#nia jax
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rant ☺️
thinking about how when I went to a luncheon there were large cardboard boxes for the kids to play with in the living room, and I immediately climbed in one. My mother scolded me for being so childish, "get out of that box, you're (my age) not five." and then I got out of the box and sat down on the bench. About 4 seconds later the lady that owned the house told my mother that that box had been practically lived in for the last 2 weeks days by a child my exact age am I not living how I should? Is the childhood given to me devoid of the youthful activities I should've been allowed? she looks at me weird when I do anything that isn't well mannered, and then says "well she's a teenager, teenagers" and she'll scoff at me in public. I'll remind her, im not. Im not a teen, im a child, and the fact im taller than her doesn't help. I act mature because I was raised to act mature.my height is beneficial to nothing other than outside opinions at this point. She'll tell me im too big for a playground, when I'll show her the sign and im still young enough to play. She'll tell me I need to act my age, but I am, im not as old as you treat me, woman. She'll talk to me about nothing positive ever, she only compliments me when it's necessary, completely visibly mandatory that her duty as a mother requires a level of support for a child, nothing she's ever complimented me on has ever came from her honest opinion and I can see it in her face and hear it in her voice. I put a selfie in a group chat and my friend told me I was beautiful. I almost cried, because nobody other than my mother or father has ever said that to me to my face in my life, and they do so less and less and less as the years go by. One moment that really stuck with me is when I told my mom I was painting 6 Potoos on canvases. She blankly said "ugh, what a waste of canvases." Those words are the clearest sentence I can remember anyone ever speaking to me in my life from that long ago. I got to art class and never finished the birds, honestly, they do look like shit, really, not joking, and it was genuinely a waste. Of paint. A waste of paint, not of canvases. Pretty fucking hard to waste two $2.50 packs of three 4x6 inch canvases. from dollar general. Another thing she talks to me about is her problems, and I listen, and I should, she deserves someone to talk to. But when I'm the only one she does about these things, it makes me feel like she talks to me as someone that's simply commanded to listen and not her child. When she learned I knew what sex was, it's game over. She talks to me about sex every other fucking day and it drives me insane. I don't want to know my father's cock size, I don't want to know the biggest penis she's ever seen and the smallest one she's ever seen. I don't want to know about sex with my dad and how annoying his libido is. I also dont want to hear about the politics, the government. 90% of our conversations are one sided rants about politics or sex. She sat down with me at a chick fil a this week and talked to me about politics for an hour. I wanted her to shut up so I could eavesdrop on the people behind me who were talking about Mario lore and shit. Another thing that disturbs me is her book collection. It's got so many books on parenting. I'll open one every once in a while, and like clockwork it's something that she's used on me. Nothing that ever made me feel anything but worthless ofc. She listens to podcasts talk about people. Usually descriptions of terms that would qualify on a lot of my friends or just random things like trends or jokes or memes. Like mewing. Doctor nurse momma did NOT have to teach my mother how to mew. Then there's things that would describe me, talking about furries, or different sexualities or genders, people that change their names. These podcasts never have anything true or nice to say about me or the people I know. Human beings who claim to be loving of their neighbors can still make them feel like they want to die. Don't listen to people that claim to be so good yet make you feel so shitty
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long and disorganised dark shadows update
once again spoilers for this 50 yo show//
first of all i am stupid and got the last episode for the dream curse storyline wrong. i think i wrote down 563 and it is actually 536? and it took me a minute to notice. decided to stop at 560 bc its a good number. the adam storyline is very long which i find daunting, so it's good that there is also that to break it up. i have been watching it fairly slowly but i will still take a medium-sized break before continuing.
i have been thinking about what the best way to watch this show in 2023 is, and how the ways we watch tv have changed over the years. i usually am kind of anti-bingeing but i feel like this weirdly benefits from it? for me at least. maybe because it was daily and not weekly. that said its funny how repetitive it is. was thinking about this especially this time around- they reaallly dragged out that dream and that tape by dr lang, i feel like they repeated each of them about 100 times i could probably recite them. luckily i like repetition but i imagine it would drive some other people (esp modern day viewers who might be bingeing this) crazy.
anyway some scattered thoughts under the break-
i love cursed paintings/art-based horror so i liked that there was a bit of that, but maybe they could have spent more time with it. was very happy to see my good friend rev trask come back as a ghost like i specifically said i wanted him to last time. please come back again! angelique magically forcing tony to be in love with her was very fucked up! again i wish we had spent more time exploring how fucked up it was. elizabeth turning into naomi was obviously great i esp loved when it got kind of incestuous with her mistaking roger for joshua- there was already an uncomfortable subtext there esp after the casting choices for 1795 it makes perfect sense to bring that out. i am not super into nicholas as a character yet- he seems mostly instrumental, to make angelique go from villain to victim, which admittedly is fun.
excited for vampire angelique and it does make sense to go there. excited for non-barnabas vampires in general. speaking of, how do vampires work, actually? barnabas is suddenly worried about the guy she attacked turning into a vampire- but has this been a problem before? barnabas has attacked many people, who just died unceremoniously. when he was feeding off maggie it did seem like she was turning, but then it stopped. and obviously biting people does have an effect on them, but so far it's been used to enslave them/make them familiars, not fully turn them (something i really liked in previous storylines). either an inconsistency or something that needs to be elaborated on.
i dont have any full thoughts on the adam storyline as a frankenstein adaptation, since it hasnt finished yet. obv the way it was tied into curing vampirism was extremely silly and nonsensical but thats great i love that. didnt really care for sam going blind but it was fun when i made the connection to the book, in which frankenstein's creature befriends a blind man. leonardo dicaprio pointing meme. found myself thinking a lot of about adam's language development, and the ways in which it is probably not realistic, and wouldn't it be cool if someone did tell a similar story but had read up on language acquisition and made an effort to model the different stages etc etc. but i realise this is actually not something anyone cares about at all.
obv adams crush on carolyn is extremely uncomfortable, and it has now gotten to the point in frankenstein where the creature kind of turns into an incel. rip. was going insane whenever matthew talked to adam about women- first carolyn and then vicky. all that stuff about "imagine if someone took away caroline wouldnt you feel bad, think about how kidnapping women makes men who love them feel :/" when you could perhaps just explain to him that vicky and carolyn are people and what about how they themselves feel. blah blah this is from the 60s.
anyway stay tuned after my break for more disorganised thoughts! i will be finishing the adam storyline next
#obv this is not really a review#so much as me pretending i have friends and am talking to them#dark shadows
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i don't know how you can seriously ask me a question like that bc i think that after you, the person who's the most unhinged about this fic is me. i agree that it very much does contain some of the best writing you've ever done, and also i'm completely shocked to find out that you were 17 when you first started writing it because that first chapter definitely does not feel like a 17yo wrote it, i would never guess. hell, i've writing fic since like 13-4 and all my writing from age 17-8 is so whiny and bad and annoying there's a reason why i moved to ao3 and left everything else to rot on ffnet forever.
here's a list of scenes that i've reread the most, in no particular order and for no reason whatsoeve
[warning for on fire spoilers below]
the first chapter
it just. never fails to gut punch me. you're thrown into this scene so abruptly and sharply, with no backstories or preparations whatsoever, and yet somehow you can picture it all perfectly and you can feel exactly whats going on and the severity and intensity of it all. "he's been hurt" - those words, just echoing over and over, setting this horrible sense of dread and urgency. the encounter with remus confirms even further that something is very very wrong, this unusual sense of estrangement between them, and it all twists into a knot and sinks in your gut, setting such an intense fear there. 10/10. absolutely would reread again.
the cruciatus scene
this one is just. ohmyohmyohmyohmy where do i even start. the entire motif of love as violence and violence as love is very very prevalent all throughout the fic, but this is where it absolutely explodes. and honestly, ive been sort of,,, waiting (hoping??) for it, ever since the foreshadowing with what the healer told them, and yet seeing it all laid out in action in front of your eyes is just...... actual chills. shivers down my spine every time i read it. and the fact that its..... ohmygod i cant even talk about this normally without getting all hyped up like im on illegally obtained adderall and 7 energy drinks or something. the metaphor, the fact that its james putting the gun in his hand and telling him shoot me, asking sirius to do it to help him its just....... one of my all time fav lyrics is from a song called dirty by grandson and it goes "Do you have enough love in your heart / To go and get your hands dirty?" and i think anybody can show love in a tender way, in form of warm words and kisses and care, but to love someone so strongly you are willing to turn yourself into a monster for them, you are willing to do the (literally!) unforgivable is the kind of insane love people write books about. okay, you love him - but do you love him enough to hurt him? do you love him enough to take the shot when he's the one putting the gun into your hands? (not even to start talking about the other side of things, the fact that james, even in his not-fully-yet-himself state just naturally trusts sirius enough, trusts him so much with the force of a years old instinct, to give him that power and that authority is just...... bye dont talk to me). and at first sirius doesnt want to, he calls james insane and an idiot for even suggesting it - even when he does let the hypothetical thought cross his mind, he doesn't think it will work because you have to mean it in order to do it and how could he ever mean it, how could he ever want to hurt james? but love and hate are just two sides of the same coin, like tenderness and violence, and its like this metaphor with the pendulum clock, where one side is hate and the other is love - if youre in the middle, maintaining balance, it will be very hard to sway the pendulum into one of the edges, but if youre already at the very edge, it only takes a second for you to tip over to the other extreme. thats why most people get murdered by someone they know, thats why most women are murdered statistically by their partners - because its much easier to drive yourself into murderous insanity by jealousy or frustration when you deeply care for a person, rather than hurt someone you don't know at all. and james keeps pushing, he keeps talking to him, and pressing all the bleeding wounds, reopning them fresh until sirius finally reaches that tipping point and all hell breaks lose - until he's screaming his throat dry with the cruciatus until james can barely take it anymore and is begging him to stop. until he slumps forward, limp and lifeless. and all of that is suddenly gone, replaced by this cold dread, the pendulum back in its original position. sirius' wand drops to the floor. and we get this very very dramatic and emotional scene of him rushing over to hold his lifeless body, all panicked and on the verge of losing it entirely and barely breathing himself, just begging over and over no, no, no, please, please wake up, don't you dare, don't you dare leave me, not again; and then once he does wake up, after sirius has already circled through all five stages of grief at least a dozen times and already ran through all the possible scenarios and possibilities of ending his life that he hasn't tried yet, with this sudden jolt up and gulp of air - it's james. it's james james, his james, james from before, and it's crazy how sirius, and all the readers present in the room, we can all tell that that is it immediately. just from one look, one word,--
(lmao apparently there's a characters per block limit on tumblr and ive reached it ahahahahaha i never even knew it existed and ive been on tumblr for over a decade) -- that little spark in his eyes that was missing this entire time, this sharp edge to his tone when he says "sirius," like sirius hasn't heard his name being called in years. and its all just. the big bang. like people say "anti climatic" about things - so this is the opposite of it, it is climatic. its like if reading was sex, then this would be the orgasm. i'm gone. bye. extinct. ended by this chapter. unreal.
THE Smut Scene
i was going to have at least 5 different scenes here but i got ridiculously carried away with the previous one ajkshfsg so. just because i can not skip it, ever. a honorary mention of that one smut scene that lives in my head rent free from chapter 15. i love absolutely everything about it, i love how you can't tell apart where the love ends and the violence begins - or maybe it doesn't, maybe its just different shades of that same passion. the way sirius is so upset and frustrated and he wants it so badly but he wont, refuses to, just to see james suffer until he is literally begging for it - just touch me already, please, i missed you, i need you - all the words sirius yearns to hear, just not like this, not in this context, not as a dirty little secret once more. he's so hurt and in so much pain and none of it is even acknowledged because to james he's just "acting like a baby" and so when it finally snaps in him, it snaps fully, and he just shoves himself inside with no warning-- and the pain is there but its not enough to drown the desire, and its all just mixing together in this messed up mix of "what the fuck--" and "dont ruin it by talking" and the "you have no idea how much i miss you" together with "shit slow down you fucking sadist" because it's all there - the pain and the hurt and the love and the passion until you literally can not tell them apart - there is no concept of consent or kink negotiation with these two like there would be with any other sex scene, there isn't even a warning for dubious consent or anything like that bc it doesnt work like that with them, all those stupid rules apply to regular mortals in regular mortal relationships and their regular boring mortal sex - but james and sirius are part of each other's souls, its irrelevant when it comes to them. and its all so insane and overwhelming when its sirius trying to physically hurt him (by giving james what he actually wants, giving it brutally but giving it regardless), and all he gets in response to that violence is just james saying i love you, and then he's crying, he's the one who was meant to hurt james but he's the one who ends up crying - and when james sees that he has all the right in the world to make fun of him (bc who the hell cries during sex? thats just embarassing and pathetic come on), but he doesn't, instead he leans into the tender side of it even more, hes encouraging him, (yes, you feel so good, keep going, just like that) (i'm yours, you feel amazing) and it's all just---- its too much for my little heart to bear.
i think you severely underestimate me saying that i'm just as unhinged about this fic because i am, i could write novels about it, and i swear to you on my firstborn's life that if you ever finish it (even if its in 8 more years, we are in no rush here), im gonna get it bookbound into a beautiful beautiful cover and annotate the hell out of it and send you a copy. i need to be able to hold it and be able to draw hearts around my fav lines and see the stains that my tears leave when i reach the most emotional parts.
[in a flirty voice] hey wanna be insane and talk about On Fire all day long together
you are playing a dangerous game dani i am sooo unhinged about that fic. it's my magnum opus. my brain child. my baby. it contains some of the finest writing i've ever done and i love the way the story evolved along with my characters over the years. for a long time before i was really active on tumblr/fandom again, writing that fic was my only real connection to the hp world (other than rereading the books themselves); i started the first chapter when i was around 17 ... and i'm 25 now lol.
i'm not the kind of person who outlines stories, i kind of just sit down and write and let my brain take things where they want to go. so when i wrote that first chapter all those years ago, i still hadn't worked out a lot of later plot points, like what sirius did to cause the fallout between him and james, james' relationship with lily, etc. i like to think that this story was as much of a wild ride for me as for the readers because i literally did not know what to expect until i sat down to write it.
also i adore the themes of love and violence the story touches on. i wanted to make readers think about love as a destructive force, love with carnivorous teeth, love that burns everything in its path. love as a kind of devotion that borders on religion. all-consuming, devastating, and uncontrollable. the kind of love written about in wuthering heights, macbeth, anna karenina. love tinged with obsession and lust. love resembling psychological torment.
i just think sirius and james, with their natural codependency, and this intrinsic idea that they're each other's soulmates, make the perfect pairing for a story like that. i wanted to know: what would it take to break down a relationship between two characters who would die for each other? how deep the wound, how sharp the blade? i wanted readers to be both horrified and unable to look away from all of it, to be made to feel uncomfortable but still root for james and sirius to be together at the end.
people always say: write the story you want to read. on fire, but we can't feel a thing is that story for me. it contains elements of all my favourite books growing up, the exact characterisations of james and sirius that i hold most dear, and honestly i'm still surprised that my brain was able to come up with something like it. i don't know that it ever will again, tbh :')
#this was not meant to be this long i swear im so sorry adkjghgg#consider this........ an excessively long fic rec#anyway you should all go read on fire btu we cant feel a thing bc its one of the best prongsfoot fics in existence and just one of the best#fics in existence in general#and tumblr should get read of that characters per block limit wtf is that if i want my paragrpah to be 37k words long its going to be#thats none of your business#fic recs#sharmz tag#on fire tag#prongsfoot
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Hi hi!! I saw your obey me headcannons and I just wanna say that I love it sm <33 May I request the brothers with an MC who always asks for attention (like cuddles and etc.)? Ty! I hope it isn’t too confusing 😅
Hi! Of course you can, thank you for the request! You're actually my first one💕
Warnings: none, unless you count a sickening amount of fluff ^v^
~The Demon Brothers with Attention Needing GN! MC~
Lucifer:
There is rarely any time he isnt busy
But then again
There isnt any time he won't notice MC wanting his attention either
As much as they try to hide it, because MC knows he's busy and they don't want to disturb him, he just knows. Most of the time, he'll give in with a sigh
Not because he's upset with them
His heart swells with pride whenever they want his attention. He just hates that he can't say no to them; that they have that type of power over him
If they DO ask for the attention outright, he'll raise an eyebrow at their boldness
"Oh? Are you demanding my attention, Bunny?" *insert MC gulp*
Will cuddle them SO MUCH if they ask nicely enough
F o r e h e a d kisses
Mammon
Honestly
He's the one usually asking for attention. So if MC asks for it, he's over the moon
As soon as they finish asking for attention, he will blush and say
"Oi, why didn't you ask me sooner? Dumb human."
Holds MC obnoxiously close, refuses to let go
Every time they worry about asking for attention too much, he scoffs and (loudly) tells them any time they need attention to "Come to him, and only him, got that?"
Leviathan
"You want....MY attention?"
Is SO confused
Why would you, the amazing MC, want HIS attention?
Immediately TRIES his best but
The boy is awkward. How does one give attention, exactly?
"Am I hugging you too much MC? Tell me if you need anything"
Eventually becomes VERY in tune with when they want cuddles or attention, even if it's in public
Asmodeus
Will always know before you even ask
They'll walk in to ask for attention, and he's already arranged a bunch of blankets for them to cuddle with him
"Aww Sweetie you don't have to say a word. You dont need to ask for my attention"
Absolutely loves it when they get shy to ask for his attention
If they're bold about asking for his attention, he'll chuckle and tell them to come hold him
No place is too public for him to give MC his attention
Likes tracing the outline of their figure, or randomly holding their hand
Satan
Somehow manages to be both Lucifer AND Levi at the same time when MC asks him for attention
He thinks it's the cutest thing in the world and is reduced to a blushing mess most of the time.
Sometimes, however, he's annoyed by how easily MC can make him cave with a simple "Satan, may I please have some kisses?"
It drives him insane how much control you have over him
Likes to have MC lay in his lap while he reads a book out loud to them, while absentmindedly stroking their hair and face
Always calls MC "my love" or "kitten" when he's giving them his undivided attention
Beel
The first time MC asks for his attention, he's taken aback
Not because of MC! He likes it. He just didnt know his attention was something anyone would want, especially them.
The second and third time, he felt bad. Was he not giving them enough attention? He wants MC to be happy 🥺
Makes sure to give MC EXTRA attention, so much to the point where they never have to ask for it. He even manages to put off food for a few moments so he can randomly hug them.
He even makes it a point to always be touching MC if he's near them. He'll hold their hand under the dinner table, rest his hand gently on their back as he walks them to their class, and kiss their forehead gently if they happen to pass him in the hallway.
Belphie
So reluctant
Not because he doesnt want to give MC attention, he just isn't sure HOW to give them attention. Won't they find it odd?
After trying a few things and seeing none of it bothers them, he slowly starts showing more and more affection towards them
It starts with a few tender touches here and there, especially when MC asks for them. But after a while, Belphie will just pull MC into his chest and cuddle with them
It becomes such a normal occurrence that MC can't nap unless Belphie is holding them
#obey me#lucifer obey me#beel obey me#leviathanobeyme#obey me headcanons#satan obey me#asmodeusobeyme#belphie obey me#obey me asks#obey me fluff#obey me gender neutral mc#obey me mc
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