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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years ago

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The Island | KTH (Fourteen)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11.2k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption.

Notes: This chapter took forever for me to write but then suddenly I wrote it very quickly hahaha. Please look forward to the last arc of the story. Enjoy the chapter:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong @happyhrsme @storms-and-stars-blog @mingi-banana @soeur-de-ame

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“A long, sweet night.”

“A long, sweet night.” You decide to repeat out loud. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Well, you know what it could mean. But there’s no way, right? You hold your phone close to your face, your features lit up with the dim blue light. Your eyes squint as you read over his text again and again.

You start to feel the crushing weight of his text, his words causing an undeniable pain in your chest. Your heart beginning to become chipped away piece by piece, each letter of his words cutting at it.

“Now you fight.”

Your mother’s words echo in your mind, her words making you grip your phone tightly in your hand. She’s right. If you don’t fight then you’re running away aren’t you? This is the point. This is the point she is talking about, this is the point where if you do nothing you are now a coward.

“You did the work honey.”

Yes, you did. Growth is forever but you’ve come a long way. You think you have done enough. You are enough. You have done so much and you deserve this, you deserve a happy ending. An ending you have worked for.

You sit at your dining room table, your phone in hand still. You finally click it off and set it down onto the wooden table, it lands with a thump but you don’t even flinch. There isn’t currently anything you can say to him. You have no response. You know that was the end of the conversation. But you know this isn’t the end. It can’t be. It won’t be.

You stand from the table and drag your feet towards the living room and head towards the couch. It’s cold when you plop down onto it, the cushion doing nothing to make you feel comforted. A long, sweet night, huh? Well, you don’t want this sweet night to end.

~~~~~~

“y/n you’ve apologized like 8 times already,” Marcus chuckles, “You don’t have to say sorry anymore.”

“I know, I know.” You bring the croissant to your mouth and take a generous bite. “I really didn’t mean to run out on you though.”

It’s early the next morning, you are treating Marcus to breakfast as a way to apologize for running out on him the night before. He’s kind and understanding as usual.

“So you ever really going to explain?” Marcus murmurs as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Explain?” You peak over the croissant, your eyes finding his. “Explain what?”

“Come on.” He sets the coffee mug down, “Him. Tell me about the guy who…you know, has your heart or whatever.” Marcus looks down at his hands that are firmly gripping the mug, his cheeks turning a nice, soft pink.

“Oh.” You say, “That.”

Your eyes lower until they are set on the floor, you notice little things like the cracks in the tile. You finally bring the croissant back to the plate on the table, it’s half eaten state taunting you.

“Well,” your eyes find Marcus, “That’s a long story.” You admit softly.

“You gave me a very brief explanation the night I asked you out,” Marcus blinks at you, “But I don’t really understand the…depth…I guess you could say.”

“I kind of told you about the island…” That’s where you decide to start, “But I barely got into my trip to Korea.”

“Right.”

“Well, things didn’t go as smoothly as I had wanted.”

“Are you in love y/n?” Marcus turns redder than a ripe tomato. “You don’t have to an—”

“Yes.” You tell him bluntly. “I am.”

Marcus looks taken aback for a moment, his expression slightly surprised until it’s softening.

“I see. Well, it’s not like I didn’t know. But you two aren’t even talking right?”

“Right.” You admit, your breathing picking up just the slightest. “Barely, anyway.”

“He’s an idiot.” Marcus lets the words spill out between his lips.

“Why is that?”

“I just…I wouldn’t ever let…I would never let you go.” Marcus’s blush deepens as he avoids your eyes now. You can’t help but let a small somewhat pitiful smile paint itself on your lips.

“Well…” you bite down on your bottom lip, “It isn’t that easy.”

“Why not?” Marcus shakes his head. “If he really loved you—”

“Sorry Marcus.” You cut in. “But I think you are overstepping a little bit…”

Marcus scrunches his brows together.

“How so?”

“You don’t know the full story or his perspective.” You tell him, your eyes going back to the floor. “I’m not perfect in this.”

“You are perf—”

“No.” you say sternly, your hard eyes going back to his. “I’m not.”

You push the plate forward on the table, the sound of it gliding against the wood making you shiver.

“You just don’t…you don’t know what I put him through…” you say bitterly, “It wasn’t kind of me, I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t the best, I wasn’t a lot of things. But I have accepted that and moved forward with that.” You tell him honestly.

“Shouldn’t he try harder…if he loves you?” Marcus raises his voice just the slightest, “If.”

“I don’t know how he feels anymore.” You feel yourself grow tired from this conversation, “But it doesn’t change things.”

“Sorry y/n.” Marcus looks down at his hands again. “I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have brought this up—”

“I talked to him last night.” You blurt out. “I want to see him. I want to try.”

“But why?” Marcus is growing tired as well. It’s clear he isn’t seeing things the way you do.

“Because he’s my soulmate.”

~~~~~~~

You lay on your stomach, the soft feeling of your bed making you feel so warm. Your phone is in your hands as you struggle to press the ‘call’ button. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, it’s just Yuna yet you are having a hard time.

“Come on y/n.” you whisper to yourself. “Come on.”

You nibble on your lips, waiting for your fingers to find the courage to press the god damn button. It shouldn’t be this hard, no. If it’s meant to be it should be easy.

You press the ‘call’ button and wait not so patiently as it rings and rings on speaker. She’s taking too long, you think. Then finally—

“y/n!!!” Yuna exclaims loudly, her voice booming throughout your small room. “What’s up girl!”

“Yuna…” you hesitate to say her name, “Your birthday…two weeks…”

“Yes?” She tilts her head to the side through the camera. “It is?”

“Is that offer still on the table?” you gulp. “For my flight.”

“Huh? You mean to fly you out here for my b-day?”

“Yeah…” You gulp again, “If it’s okay—”

“Wait!” Yuna yells out with an excited smile, “Jiwoo, get over here!!!!”

“Jiwoo is with you too?” You can’t help the small smile. “You should have said something.”

“Jiwoo! y/n wants to come for my birthday!”

“What???” Jiwoo’s voice is heard, “Eh?”

“y/n..” Yuna points the camera at her mouth, her lips curving into a wide smile. “You really want to come here?”

You nod your head eagerly, a timid expression on your face.

“I do. I want to see you and celebrate you, of course…but I also…” your words get quieter and quieter as you speak.

“You want to see him, don’t you?” Yuna asks softly, “I’m rooting for you.”

“Me too!” Jiwoo says with her fist in the air, “You got this!”

“Guys.” You whine cutely, “Thanks.”

You chat with your friends for a little while longer, you tell them all about Taehyung’s song and his words to you through text.

“It’s definitely not the end girl.” Yuna pouts, “You guys still have so much more to give…”

“It sounds like your mom really came through too…” Jiwoo points out, “She makes a good point.”

“Yeah,” you agree easily, “I just have to figure out where Taehyung stands in all of this.” You look down at the duvet that covers your bed. “I’m going to really put myself out there but there is a chance I will be rejected.” You tell them with a softness in your voice. “He is moving forward and that could really mean without me.”

“I hate to admit it but I think you are right.” Jiwoo murmurs, “He’s really put a lot of effort to move past everything.”

“I know.” You bite down on your lip, just hard enough that you feel something. “I know.”

“But don’t lose you momentum girl!” Yuna cheers you on, “He’s going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“You think so?” You laugh lightly. “I think I might be the one who loses my mind.”

You swing your legs in the air back and forth until you lay them down on your bed. You nibble on your lips again as you think about it, seeing him. “Yeah. I’m going to lose it.” You laugh again.

“He hasn’t RSVP’d to my party yet…I’ll ask him about it this week when we all go out.” Yuna tells you with a tiny smile on her lips. “I won’t say anything about you coming.”

“Thanks…I’ll tell him myself.”

You finally bid farewell to your friends, clicking the end button on your screen and setting your phone down on your cozy bed. You’re really doing this. This is really happening. Does he really believe you two were just ships in the night? Was your time together really just the equivalent of a long, sweet night?

You roll off your bed and head towards your desk, you pull out your rolling chair and take a seat. Your desk is covered in papers from work, your journal, small decorations, a pile of glittery gel pens and a half drank Starbucks drink. It’s kind of a mess. You decide to clean up a bit and then take your journal and a purple glitter pen and start writing.

“Time and timing is everything in this universe. Everything pans out the way it’s meant to…I do believe that. I have to believe that. I have to have that kind of faith. But I can’t just stand by and let the universe do all the work, can I? I should put some level of effort too…right? Is time in my hands?”

You stop writing, the pen staying still, bleeding its purple ink into your paper. Is time in your hands? You bring the pen to your lips and chew on the end, your teeth digging into the plastic.

“Is it?” you repeat out loud.

~~~~~

Wow, you haven’t felt this nervous in a while. Your nerves are absolute killers right now. They are shaking you to your death and throwing you over a cliff, they are slapping you in the face repeatedly, they are making you feel so completely helpless.

Your hand trembles furiously as you hold your stupid phone, your whole body is vibrating in terror. You fly out in the morning and you haven’t told Taehyung that you are going to Korea yet. He has no idea that you two will be breathing the same air soon. You try your hardest to take a few deep breaths but you fall short, your breathing quick and sharp instead.

The boys promised not to say anything and you’re counting on it. Jimin is on the verge of tears from his excitement, he’s been waiting for you to visit for the past year. Jungkook is anticipating your arrival as well, his bunny grin imprinted in your mind when you told them you for sure were going. The rest of the guys cheered and sent you a million texts about how happy they are. Everyone knows about your upcoming arrival…everyone but him.

After staring at his message thread for what seems like an eternity you finally decide to chicken out. You click your phone off and throw it on your sofa, it slides against the cushions and somehow falls between the cracks. But you don’t care. You’re happy your phone is out of sight.

You decide to take a walk in the city, the evening air is brisk and the sky is glowing in pinks and purples. You tug your jean jacket closer together as you walk through a cool breeze, it feels nice actually. Like you can breathe again. Your phone is still lost between your couch cushions and you couldn’t feel happier about it.

You decide to stroll around until you find yourself at Cozy Coffee, the shop making you feel welcomed and at home. You head to the counter and order a latte, the warm drink making you melt into some slightly pathetic puddle. Only pathetic because at the end of the day you know you are just avoiding what you must do. But somehow you approve. You just want to enjoy this evening before your trip to Korea. You have no idea what this trip might hold. You have no idea of the experiences you will encounter. You just really have no idea.

You sip on your latte in the corner of the shop, your mind starting to ease as you down your drink. Are you really prepared for this? Are you ready to face him? To be honest, you haven’t even thought about what you might say…you just know the first step is seeing him. Face to face.

You finally head back to your apartment, the sky now lit up by the illuminating moon, guiding you on your path. You feel relaxed again, the moon giving you peaceful energy. You know this feeling is only temporary so you try to embrace it.

Your apartment is chilly inside, the air matching the air from outside. You head towards the thermostat and turn it up a few degrees. You rub your arms in attempt to warm yourself as you head towards you sofa, you look at it with disdain as you remember your phone hiding in its cushions.

You take a deep breath and lift one of the cushions up and search for the damned thing. Your hand finds it and you throw it on the other side of the sofa as you place the cushion back in its place. You finally take a seat and reach for your phone, you take another deep breath as you click it on, seeing you have a missed called from Jimin and also your mother.

You decide to call your mom first, you video chat her right away, waiting for her to answer.

“Hi sweetie.” Your moms voice comes through your phones speaker. “I tried calling a little while ago.”

“Sorry…” you mumble lamely. “What’s up?”

“I know you leave for your trip tomorrow and just wanted to see how you were doing.”

Your mouth opens a little…like you are going to speak but really it’s just from the pleasant surprise you are feeling from your mothers words. The past couple of weeks you two have been chatting more and more.

“I feel…” you feel your body tense, you try to take a deep breath but it feels mostly impossible. “Mom.” Your bottom lip begins to tremble, “I’m scared.”

“Things like this are scary honey.” She breathes out, her eyes soft and on you. “But you aren’t living life unless you are taking leaps of faith.”

“There is a strong chance he won’t want me.” You tell her, your breaths shaky. “Can I handle that?”

“Honey…” Your mom closes her eyes for a second before they’re back on you. “You can handle anything. I believe that. I know in the past…it might not have seemed that way but you’ve grown so much. You are so strong y/n. And I know you want to make things work…” she pauses as you try to calm your breathing, you are trying not to cry. “But…” your mother continues, “But you are complete on your own too. And you will find some epic love or whatever no matter with who. You deserve it so therefore you will have it.”

“He’s my love, mom.” You finally feel your eyes wet with tears. “He’s been my biggest supporter this whole journey and he doesn’t even know it.”

“Well y/n.” your mom exhales through her nose as she smiles for you, “It sounds like you have an important mission for this trip. I hope you really convey your feelings and most importantly…I hope you listen as well. Really listen. Listen to his thoughts and feelings too and be considerate.” She softly advises you. “Communication really is key.”

“I know…” you sniffle.

“Did you know…” your mother hesitates to continue, she exhales a long breath before setting her lips in a firm line. “Your father and I were close to divorcing around the time you were born.”

“Wait what?” you blink at the screen, feeling caught off guard.

Your mother slowly nods her head and closes her eyes.

“We just…didn’t feel like we were on the same page anymore. I didn’t know what he was thinking anymore and he had no idea what was going on in my mind either.”

You pull your brows together as you listen intently, your mom’s words making you feel a little anxious.

“We just didn’t click anymore, it felt like. We were struggling financially at the time and you were…an unexpected surprise. It truthfully further strained our marriage…” she tells you honestly. “But we loved you so much. It was the only thing holding us together.”

“How did you work things out?” you ask quietly.

“We talked. Really talked. I remember we went out on the patio after we put you girls to sleep and we just finally looked at one another and knew we had to have…you know, an important discussion.” She takes a moment to breathe evenly. “I finally let it all out…I told him about how lonely I had been feeling, I told him how I missed him…he was working a lot you know…I told him I just wasn’t happy anymore.”

You feel your heart ache a bit at her words, you never knew this about your parents.

“He ended up crying…nodding his head over and over and telling me he knows how I feel. Because he was feeling it too. The disconnect was hurting the both of us.”

“I had no idea…” you admit, still sniffling. “You and dad always seemed so…okay, all the time.”

“We didn’t want you girls to ever worry. Your father and I have shared bumps in the road but we found a way to cope. We expressed ourselves honestly, the vulnerability creating a closeness I cannot even begin to describe.”

“So you are saying…me and Taehyung—”

“You need to share everything…really everything. This is how you truly move forward.”

“Thanks for sharing that stuff about you and dad…”

“I want to help any way I can honey.” She smiles a smile you rarely see on her, it brings you automatic comfort. “Get some rest and let me know when you land. Goodnight.”

You agree and say your goodbyes to your mom as you both hang up. You sit on your couch still sniffling as you think deeply about what your mother shared with you.

After a few minutes you decide to clean your face with your sleeve and call Jimin back. The ringing only goes on for a second or two before he’s picking up.

“He isn’t going.” Jimin huffs on the video chat. “Said he isn’t in the mood to party.”

“Huh?” you blink at Jimin a few times before you’re realizing. “Oh.”

“You need to tell him you’re coming then maybe he will change his mind…”

“Yeah y/n!” You hear Jungkook yell over the phone, “tell him already! It’s killing me keeping this from him.”

“Well, first of all, hi guys.” You wave at the camera. “Second…” you chew on your lips. A horrible habit of yours, you know. “I will tell him when I get there.” You mumble.

“Oh my god, are you fucking kidding?” You hear Jungkook groan. “Just do it now.”

“Chill!” Jimin scolds Jungkook, “But he’s kind of got a point y/n…”

“Trust me…just let me tell him when I get there. Also, Jimin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re sure it’s fine that I stay with you?” you look into his eyes through the camera and you see his thick lips curve into a wonderful grin.

“Of course my bff.”

“I want to stay over here too…” Jungkook grumbles, he finally shows himself on screen. “We can all have like a …slumber party or whatever.” His eyes slide to the side as he grows red with embarrassment.

“A slumber party?” Jimin begins to tease, “What are you, a 12 year old girl?”

“I happen to like the slumber party idea.” You nod your head approvingly.

“Seriously though y/n.” Jungkook’s eyes find yours. “Tell him you’re coming.”

“I will, I will.” You wave him off, “I’ll send a text before I fall asleep or something. Happy?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He smirks at you. “Right, Jimin?”

“Yeah.” Jimin grins again, “I’m really hoping for the best, girl.”

“Me too guys…me too.”

You double check to make sure you’ve packed everything for your week long trip, you then triple check just to be sure. You feel anxious again but somehow you feel okay at the same time. You think the talk you had with your mom kind of helped you.

You had no idea she and your father shared such “bumps in the road” as she had mentioned. Is talking it out really such a magical solution? Will you and Taehyung really be able to share everything…like everything, everything?

You take one huge deep breath as you pull your phone out…you find Taehyung’s name and begin writing your text.

y/n 9:04pm

I’ll be in korea for Yuna’s birthday. Will I see you there?

You quickly click your phone off and toss it to your bed and squeal. Yes, squeal. You finally did it. Now you wait for a response.

It’s 6 am and you are sitting on your flight waiting for takeoff, you stare at your screen as you see the fact that Taehyung read your message several hours ago. He left you on read. You could honestly throw up. You’re anxious all over again.

~~~~~~~

“You belong here!” Jimin is squeezing you so hard it’s almost crushing your very bones. “Just move here already.” He whines into your neck as he continues to embrace you. “Please.”

“My turn…” Jungkook huffs, “I said my turn!”

“Patience, brat.” Jimin teases as he leans away from you, his hands still on your arms. “So how was your flight?”

“You’re really going to try to have a whole conversation with her before I get to hug her? Really dude?” Jungkook shoves Jimin to the side before his arms wrap around you. You return his hug with your own arms circling his tiny waist.

“You missed me, Jungkook?” you inhale his scent, he smells of fresh laundry.

“Whatever.” He grumbles with a toothy grin. “So,” he pulls away from you and gestures you to come inside Jimin’s place. “How was the flight?”

“Long as hell. I’m glad to finally be here.” You walk through, setting your luggage in his walkway. “And I am so damn hungry.”

“Well, we can definitely order some food.” Jimin cheeses, “How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.” You take your shoes off and walk further into Jimin’s home. “Smells good in here.” You comment nonchalantly.

“I lit some candles before you got here.” Jimin scratches the back of his neck, “Wasn’t sure if you would like the scent so I blew them out.”

“No, no. I like it.” You find your way into his living room, his black leather sofas taking up much of the space. You find a spot near the window and take a seat.

“So, did you even tell Taehyung? We saw him earlier today and he didn’t say anything so I am assuming you didn’t tell him.” Jungkook says with a serious tone.

“Actually I did.” You pick at your nails, but raise your head as to not look bothered.

“Wait…really? He didn’t say anything?” Jimin questions with the tilt of his head.

“He left me on read.” You say as plainly as possible. “Guess he doesn’t want to see me.”

“He…he left you on…” Jungkook looks over at Jimin, their eyes meeting with curiosity. “But he….?”

“Yup.” You go back to picking at your nails, trying your best once again to look unbothered.

“Well!” Jimin claps his hands together, “What should we eat?”

A few hours pass, night time quickly approaching. You, Jimin and Jungkook wait for Yuna and Jiwoo to arrive at Jimin’s place. You three drinking soju, giggling while resting on the sofas when you hear knocking on Jimin’s front door.

Jimin hurries to answer when you hear the voices of your two friends echoing lightly throughout the place. Yuna appears first, she rushes to your spot on the couch, jumping on you and quickly embracing you. You can’t help but laugh out loud, inhaling her sweet, sweet scent as you two hug one another. Jiwoo joins you both by sitting next to you and wrapping her arms around you.

“H-Hi Jiwoo.” Jungkook quickly stands up when Jimin is coming to his side and nudging his shoulder.

“And Yuna.” He reminds him with his teasing voice.

“Right.” Jungkook clears his throat. “And Yuna. Hi.”

“Hey.” Jiwoo replies cooly, “You guys started drinking without us?”

“You guys took too long!” You slur happily. “We only have had a little, little.” You show her how little with your pointer finger and thumb.

“Sure Miss Drunkie.” Jiwoo laughs, “Yuna I think you can let her breathe now.”

“One more minute!” Yuna rubs her face on your shoulder as she continues to hug you. “Missed my y/n!”

“Yuna!” you giggle. “You have 5 more seconds!”

“Fine.” Yuna pouts dramatically, pulling off you. She sits on your other side and smiles up at you. Her hair is still a pale pink and her eyeshadow is a glittery art work. You look over at Jiwoo with her jet black hair, it’s gotten even longer.

“It’s good to see you guys.” You chirp, “And oh my god, two more days until your birthday!” you point at Yuna excitedly.

“I can’t believe your dad is letting you have your birthday party at the Mondrian.” Jimin takes a seat on the other sofa with Jungkook. “That place is so nice.”

“I’m spoiled.” Yuna sings, “So spoiled!”

“At least she admits it.” Jiwoo deadpans.

You start giggling some more, reaching for another shot of soju. You down it back and smack your lips in satisfaction.

“Yummy!” you sway into Yuna and Jiwoo. “You guys want to play a game?”

“Like what?” Jungkook asks. “I think Hobi said he wants to swing by.”

“Oh! Yay.” You chirp happily, “Can the rest of the guys not make it?”

“We’re meeting with everyone tomorrow Miss impatient.” Jimin takes his own shot of soju.

“But I want to see everyone now.” You jut your lip out. “Jungkook!” you stand up and stumble to where he’s seated. “Call em and tell em to come here. Now.” You plop down next to him. “Pretty please.” You lean into his shoulder and smile for him. Jungkook turns nice and rosy before he’s lightly pushing you away.

“You have to wait y/n.” he reminds you, avoiding your intense gaze.

“Jungkookie.” You whine, “I said pretty please.”

“Wow, she is drunk.” Jiwoo chuckles, “I love it.”

“Same.” Jimin’s eyes turn to crescents as he grins. “She is so…free.” He says quieter, “She’s changed so much.”

“Jungkookie!” You lean into his space again, your big eyes blinking up at him over and over until he’s groaning.

“Fine!” he throws his hands up, “Who should we call first?”

You end up calling the rest of the guys and chatting for a while, your drunken state only worsening. But it’s nothing but a good time. Jimin ends up tucking you in his kind size bed, he brushes the hair out of your face and watches you fondly as you snore in your sleep. He’s so proud of you. Jungkook walks into the bedroom as well and he shares a knowing look with Jimin and Jimin’s smile fades into a frown.

“Want to have a beer on the patio?” Jungkook nods towards outside the room.

“Sure.” Jimin takes one last look at you before he’s leaving you to sleep. Jimin and Jungkook walk past the sofa where Yuna and Jiwoo are knocked out, cuddling each other for warmth. They make their way outside and take their seats on the patios chairs.

“So.” Jungkook pinches his brows together, “He didn’t say anything to us.”

“I know.” Jimin’s frown only deepens. “He’s probably taking his time to process her arrival, you know?”

“Is it that simple?” Jungkook brows pull together even further. “He’s doing so well and maybe he…”

“He just needs time Jungkook. I know him.”

“I know him too Jimin and he acted like she didn’t reach out to him? That’s not…I don’t know, concerning to you?”

Jimin stares straight ahead, bringing his beer to his lips. He takes a few gulps before facing Jungkook.

“Yeah.” He admits. “It is.”

The next morning is horrific, the hangover you have is probably literally killing you. Your head is absolutely pounding and your body feels weak. But you have to admit the sheets in this bed feel amazing so you are tempted to stay here forever—or at least until this killer hangover disappears.

“y/n. It’s like 2pm.” You hear Jungkook’s voice hammer in your ears. “Get up!”

“Nooooooo.” You groggily whine, pulling the sheets up over your head. “Want to stay here forever.”

“Brought you some water girl.” Jimin’s angelic voice is heard, he’s gently pulling the sheets down and exposing your tired as hell face.

“Drink it slowly.” He sweetly advises, “And here’s some pain killers.” He hands you two pills and you eye him up before taking them gratefully.

“Thanks…” you murmur. “Holy hell, soju is no joke.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook laughs. “But you hung in there!”

“Where are Yuna and Jiwoo?” you pop the pills in your mouth and drink back some water. The refreshing beverage already making you feel a little more alive.

“They left hours ago!” Jungkook continues to laugh, “You slept through it.”

“Damn.” You grumble, “Wait!” you suddenly raise your head up. “Aren’t the guys getting here at 3 today?”

“Yes.” Jimin smiles, “So maybe you want to shower….and get ready.”

“O-Okay.” You agree, you pull the sheets back off your body and rise from the bed, the room starts to slightly spin and you whine. “I am not drinking this much ever again!”

“You say that now. But Yuna’s party is open bar so.” Jungkook winks.

You gag just at the thought of drinking more alcohol. You drag your feet towards Jimin’s bathroom and your hand reaches for the shower knob and you turn it on, letting the water warm up.

“Okay, I’ll get ready! You two shoo.”

The shower is exactly what you needed, the warm water making you feel relaxed and comfortable. You’re grateful that Jimin is letting you stay at his place for a whole week…you really wish you saw them more often. You really wish you lived here sometimes.

You admittedly love it here…you enjoy your life back home too, don’t get it wrong but something about this place that feels so fitting.

“Almost done in there?” You hear Jimin softly knock on the bathroom door. “Jin says they’re on the way.”

“Be right out!” you call back out. “Almost done.”

You take a look in the mirror and you think to yourself about how nicely you clean up. You got some ripped jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, some light make up and two clips in your hair. You look cute as hell actually.

“Okay. Time to see my friends.” You give yourself an awkward thumbs up in the mirror before you’re chuckling. “Should I practice my Korean on them?” you ask out loud. Then you nod your head and give yourself another thumbs up before you step out of the bathroom, walk through Jimin’s room and enter the living room.

“About time lady!” Jungkook snickers, “What the hell were you doing in there?”

“You shouldn’t ask a girl that!” Jimin swats Jungkook’s arm. “Feeling better y/n?”

“Loads!” you walk towards them and find a place on the couch. “Are they almost here?”

Suddenly, there’s excessive knocking on the front door. You three whip your heads in the direction and you jump up in delight. You race Jungkook to the door and swing it open and as soon as you do so many arms are reaching out to hold you.

“y/n!!!!” Hobi is the first to wrap his arms around you so tightly, he sways your bodies back and forth. “I missed you so much.” He finally lets go when Jin is automatically pulling you into his chest.

“Your favorite one is here now.” He jokes as he squeezes your smaller body.

“Uh have you guys ever stayed up all night on the phone sharing writing tips for hours? I don’t think so.” You hear Namjoon say teasingly. “Come here you.” He’s dragging your arm until your body is being engulfed by his. “About time you visited.”

“Hey, we don’t have any say on y/n’s timing to come here. What matters is that she is here now.” Yoongi stands to the side, waiting for his turn. “But I would like a hug too.” He smiles that gummy smile and you giggle. You leave Namjoon to give Yoongi a tight embrace, he rocks your bodies back and forth before he’s letting go altogether.

“Good to see you y/n.” he says.

“You too. All of you.” You look at the boys, “You have no idea how much I missed you guys. Talking through the phone just isn’t enough, is it?”

“You could always move here.” Hobi offers with a teasing smile. “But you know that already.”

“She does know that!” Jungkook yells over the chatter. “But she’s a scaredy cat.”

“Hey.” You pout towards Jungkook. “Am not.”

“Then move here.” Jimin gives you his best sly smile, “You can live with me.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” you giggle, walking into the kitchen with the guys following behind you.

“Ah y/n, I think your phone is ringing.” Jin points towards the device on the counter. “Should I answer it?”

You raise your brows and head to the counter to see who is calling. Marcus.

“Oh hold on, let me take this.” You announce to everyone before answering your phone,

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just wanted to check in on you.” You hear Marcus’s raspy voice on the other end. “How is it?”

“Good, good. The flight was good. I’ve just been hanging with everyone. Actually I’m with everyone now…can we talk later?” you mumble into the phone.

“Oh.” Marcus chuckles, “Sure. Call me later?”

“Yeah.” He hears the smile in your voice. “I’ll call you later.” And then you’re quickly hanging up, bringing the phone back to the counter. It’s oddly quiet in the house.

“What?” You ask with big eyes, blinking at everyone. They all give you a curious look before you scoff.

“He’s just a friend.” You say sternly. “So stop whatever ideas your guys are all getting in your silly little heads.”

“Just friends….” Namjoon nods his head slowly. “Right.”

“I’m serious.”

“She’s ‘serious’ mhm.” Jungkook nods his head mockingly. “Right.”

“I am!” you groan, “Seriously.”

“She said they’re just friends, guys.” Yoongi puts a hand on your shoulder, “Right?”

“Right.”

“Right.” Jin nods his head quickly.

“Right.” Hobi gives you a thumbs up before he’s giving you one of his signature grins.

“Well,” Jimin comes up to you and reaches for your hand and squeezing it, “y/n is here guys. Let’s make the most of this week. Tomorrow is Friday, aka Yuna’s extravagant birthday ball and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

~~~~~~~

You lay in bed after a long day of hanging with your friends, your phone up to your face as you stare at the screen that mocks you. He read your message and just…never replied. You are trying your best to feel okay but now that you lay alone you start to feel the loneliness creep up. Does he not want to see you? Is he afraid to see you?

You exit your message threads and go to your photos…you find the selfies from your date and you stare and stare at the screen. He’s so strikingly handsome. You feel your chest tighten as you continue to gaze at the photos, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. Suddenly there is knocking on the bedroom door and Jimin is walking in…you’re quick to click your phone off and pretend you just weren’t staring at the man you love.

“Hey.” Jimin greets you softly. “You still awake?”

“Yeah…” you turn over to face him, you scoot over and pat the spot next to you and he takes the invitation to slide in the sheets.

“How are you doing?” Jimin asks suddenly, his tone is warm and comforting and you almost burst into tears at his question but instead you clear your throat and nod your head a few times.

“Good.” you lie.

“y/n…” Jimin breathes out slowly, “Really. How are you?” his eyes are full of fucking pity and it’s driving you to feel like a god damn burden.

“I said I’m good.” But your voice cracks, and he’s already pulling you into his chest.

“y/n…” he holds you tight as you try to even out your breathing. “I talked to him today.”

“He’s…” you hiccup, “He’s going to come. I know it.” You say into Jimin’s chest. “I know it. Even if he doesn’t reply to me, he’s going to go to the party.”

“…He…said he isn’t going.” Jimin tells you regretfully. “He seemed pretty serious.”

“No.” you sniffle now, “He’s going.” You feel your eyes sting as you try to blink back growing tears. “He’s going.” You repeat pathetically.

“Okay, okay.” Jimin begins rubbing your back. “Okay.”

“I just need a chance Jimin.” You hiccup again, “A chance to show him that I…” your breathing picks up even more, your sharp breaths concerning Jimin.

“Just relax…” He continues to rub your back, “I’m here.”

“Jimin…” your voice cracks again but this time because of a quiet sob that finally breaks through. “I miss him so much.” You cry.

“I know girl.” His soft voice making you feel comforted. “I’m holding onto hope too.” He tells you, his tender tone only making you cry harder.

“Fuck…” you sob into his chest. “I miss him so fucking much.”

You eventually fall asleep in Jimin’s arms after you spent some time crying it out. Jimin has a hard time knocking out, his mind too busy with thoughts of you and Taehyung.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” Jimin has stars in his eyes as he looks at you, “Right, Jungkook?” he hits Jungkook’s arm and Jungkook awkwardly clears his throat.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Thanks guys.” You tug on the material over your stomach and frown. “Are you sure though? This dress looks fine on me?”

“Absolutely. Gorgeous.” Jimin repeats. “Stunning.”

“He’s right.” Jungkook shrugs. “You do look nice. Or whatever.”

“Fine, I guess I will have to believe you two. You also look nice.” You gesture towards the two men in suits. “This is about to be super fancy isn’t it?” you pinch your brows together as you chuckle. “Yuna really went all out.” You look up at the building. The Mondrian is a beautiful hotel, very luxurious. You three step through the rotating doors and enter the main building.

“She can go all out when she’s got daddy’s money.” Jungkook big doe eyes look around him, he’s in awe of the hotel, that much is clear.

“Should we find the conference room and find the bar and you know, start drinking?” your eyes scan around, noticing all the people dressed up walking to the elevators. “She said it’s on the 3rd floor right?”

“What happened to no more drinking?” Jungkook nudges your shoulder. “But hell yeah, let’s go.”

“I second that.” Jimin links arms with you and Jungkook, leading the way towards the elevators.

You three find the conference room and your eyes grow twice their size. This room is huge, many tables set up, people dancing to loud music, the bar is poppin with lines of people waiting for a free drink, it’s beyond what you imagined.

“y/n!!!” You hear the high pitched voice of no other than Yuna. She looks so beautiful it actually feels blinding. Her deep green gown, her pale pink hair, her subtle yet gorgeous make up. She looks like a fairy princess. Jiwoo follows closely behind, a bold, blue dress with her hair pinned up. She looks like a model out of a magazine.

“You look amazing.” Yuna points at you, her eyes full of genuine surprise. “Like, what the heck?” she looks you up and down, her hands motioning towards your body.

“This dress is so…” She blinks at you repeatedly, “Do a turn for me!”

You giggle, feeling a bit shy but you do a little twirl. Yuna pretends to faint.

“AND IT’S BACKLESS?! You’re killing me!” she yells out dramatically. “Jiwoo are you seeing this?!” “You do look so pretty.” Jiwoo chuckles. “Yuna, can you ever compliment someone more normally?”

“You like the way I compliment.” Yuna raises her head up. “You know it’s true.”

“You literally pretended to have a heart attack when you saw me tonight.” Jiwoo deadpans, “who does that?”

“Girls who recognize real beauty.” Yuna states matter of fact. “And girl, you are beautiful.”

“Shush.” Jiwoo’s cheeks begin to heat up, you can’t help but giggle at the interaction.

“You both look lovely.” You tell them sincerely. “And happy birthday Yuna.” You lean in for a hug, its tight and quick and you’re pulling away much faster than Yuna’s liking,

“Thanks girl.” She smiles for you. “You really do look so nice y/n…are you hoping to see T—”

“Yuna.” Jiwoo warns, “Let’s get a drink?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” You say, “Where did Jimin and Jungkook go?” you finally notice they’re absence.

“Probably to their table. With the rest of the guys.” Yuna tells you while she starts leading you girls towards the open bar. “Shots?” She smirks towards you two. “It’s my birthday so you can’t say no.”

“Fine. But you’re trying to kill me.” You laugh, “I’m going easy tonight.”

“One shot.” Yuna pouts cutely, “But you!” She points at Jiwoo. “You have to take two with me.”

“Fine by me.” Jiwoo shrugs. We both know between the two of us, it’s me who’s taking care of you and your drunk ass tonight.”

“Counting on it.” Yuna blows Jiwoo a kiss.

“Ugh, let’s do this.”

You girls wait for the shots, taking them quickly once they’re in your hands. The burn is exactly what you needed to loosen up. You’re nervous tonight. You’re anticipating Taehyung’s arrival. Yes, he never replied to you. Yes, he told Jimin he wasn’t coming. But you feel it in your bones…he’s coming tonight. He wants to see you as bad as you want to see him. At least that’s what you are hoping for.

“You’re too good of a dancer Hobi, I can’t keep up with you!” you whine loud enough for him to hear you over the music.

“You’re doing great!” he tells you, his hands on your waist. “Just move to the music girl!”

“Easier said than done.” You laugh loudly, “Hey, what time is it?”

“Hm..” Hobi lifts his left wrist to look at his watch. “Almost 12.” He tells you.

It’s almost 12? And he’s still not here? No, you know he’s coming. He has to. He will. You feel your chest close in on you, and your heart thumping wildly. You know you’re going to see him tonight. You know it. You excuse yourself and head towards the doors of the conference room. You walk past Jimin who suddenly frowns as he realizes you’re heading out the doors, he tries calling out for you but you ignore him. He doesn’t think Taehyung is going to show up.

But you know.

You stand in the hallway in front of the elevators for who knows how long, you shift from one foot to the other as you wait anxiously. The party is still going hard, but you’ve tuned it all out. The only thing you hear is Taehyung’s deep voice. It plays in your mind, him saying something as simple as your name. You wish you were hearing it for real. You hear the ding of the arriving elevator and go rigid.

The sharp intake of breath your weak body just sucked in has you feeling tense. You knew you were going to see him…you knew this was going to happen but here you are, trying so hard to even out your breathing as you await his arrival. No amount of journaling could calm you, relax you, give you a sense of peace. No amount of alcohol could make you feel looser.

“Jimin just told me…” Yuna catches up to you, out of breath. “y/n…” your name leaves her mouth with pity, “I don’t think he’s going to come.”

“He will.” You say, standing your ground outside the elevator. “He will.”

“At least wait inside…” She gestures towards the conference room, where the party is. “It looks lonely waiting out here.”

Your eyes fall to the tiled floor, the shiny cream colored squares showing a vague reflection of yourself. Maybe it is lonely.

“Okay…” You turn around to face Yuna, a tired smile working itself on your lips. “Let’s dance?”

“Yeah.” She offers a drunk smile.

Then you hear the elevator doors opening, you whip your head in the direction of the doors but inside is only unrecognizable faces.

“Let’s go.” You tell her, trying your best not to feel so disappointed.

You both walk into the room again, the music blaring and the sight of sweaty bodies grinding against one another.

“I need a drink.” You take a deep breath before heading towards the bar. You find yourself downing shot after shot.

“Hey, slow down.” Jungkook’s voice cuts in through the booming music. “Don’t want you to like, throw up.”

“Hey Jungkook…?” You hand him your drink, getting it away from you. “You’re always straight up…”

“Don’t do this.” Jungkook warns you softly, “Not now.”

“Is Taehyung—”

“Is Taehyung…what?” A new voice cuts in, a voice you know all too well. It’s deep, deeper than the fucking ocean. It’s smooth, its charming, You feel your breath get caught in your throat as your ears process the voice they heard. You struggle for a moment, but you finally tilt your head to the side and your eyes narrow at the tall figure.

“Am I what?” he repeats.

Finally, a small gasp leaves your lips as your eyes widen in genuine shock. You knew he would come tonight yet somehow you are as surprised as Jungkook next to you. You don’t notice but Jungkook nods his head towards Taehyung and walks away, leaving you two.

“T-Taehyung…?” you blink over and over, not believing your eyes. “What are you—”

“I’m here to see you.” He tells you bluntly. “And my god woman, you are a sight for sore eyes.” He all but whispers, his expression stiff as he eyes you.

“Taehyung.” You release the shakiest breath as you repeat his name.

“Hi y/n.”

You straighten yourself, trying to show off the fact that you aren’t totally drunk. You look all around the slightly spinning room and search for faces you know. Finally, your eyes lock with Jimin’s. He looks worried but he quickly tries to smile for you. You look panicked to say the least. The room is crowded, loud, hot and sweaty. But all of that fades away when the scent of Taehyung fills your nostrils. You take a second to notice he has stepped forward until he is right in front of you.

“y/n.” he says your name as a command. Your frantic eyes find his and you feel the whole room freeze.

Taehyung studies you, his focused eyes scanning every inch of your body. You watch as he lifts a hand and reaches behind you. Then suddenly you are feeling light fingertips tracing your down your spine. His fingers barely skid across your exposed skin and you slowly close your eyes at the contact. Your breathing slowing as well.

Taehyung’s fingers glide back up your back, his touch so light like he almost wasn’t even touching you. His serious expression beginning to soften as he brings his hand back to his own body.

“This dress is like the one you wore on the island.”

“You like it.” You whisper.

“Yes.” He admits, you two gaze into one another’s eyes until he finally looks off to the side.

“Should we talk?” he asks you, “Or are you too drunk?”

“No, no.” you shake your head, “Let’s talk.”

Taehyung looks you over one last time before nodding his head and turning around to head towards the exit. You gulp as you watch his broad back…you hurry to follow him.

Taehyung glances behind him and he exhales a long breath when he sees you rushing after him, he looks forward again until he’s reaching the elevators.

“Come on.” He gestures towards the open elevators.

You walk quickly, reaching him and the elevator before you’re going inside. He follows you in.

“Taehyung—”

“Wait until we are downstairs.” He cuts you off softly.

“Okay…”

The ride is silent. But your mind is as loud as shrieking ghosts, ghosts that want to haunt and traumatize you. You finally hear the ding, signaling your arrival to the first floor.

“Come on.” He tells you, his voice booming throughout the small space. “Follow me.”

You do as he says, you follow him. Truthfully, you would follow him anywhere. Even to the ends of the Earth.

“Yes, hi.” Taehyung begins speaking to the front desk lady. “I want a room, please.”

Wait, a room? You’d follow him anywhere but a room?

“Taehyung—”

“It’s just so we have privacy.” He assures you, not even looking in your direction.

“It’s expensive…” you slur. “We can just talk outside.”

“It’s fine.” He hands the lady his card, “Which floor?”

“6th floor.” She informs him with a bright smile.

Your eyes find your shoes, somehow they’re more fascinating than anything else suddenly. Then you feel the warmth of Taehyung’s hand wrapping itself around yours, his fingers struggling to intertwine with your own. But then you finally receive the hint and allow him to hold your hand.

“You’re drunk, y/n.” he says, voice laced in disappointment, “I’m sorry for making you wait.” He leads you back to the elevators. You two walk inside and he let’s go of your hand, he runs his fingers through his smooth hair and sighs out in defeat.

“You should just get some sleep.”

“I want to talk.” You slur again, “I have…I have so much to say.”

“We’ll see.” His low voice rumbles. “We’ll see.”

The ride up to the 6th floor is long, but you finally make it out of that small space and stumble towards your room.

Taehyung unlocks the door and you make your way inside…the view is amazing. The city is quite the sight.

“Take your shoes off, I’m sure your feet hurt.” Taehyung loosens up his tie.

“They do.” You admit in a whine.

Taehyung takes a seat on the edge of the made bed and watches you with intense eyes as you get comfortable.

“C’mere.” He pats the spot next to him.

Suddenly you become very shy. You haven’t felt this kind of tension in so long. His eyes boring into every inch of your skin, his eyes trailing along your body and making you feel exposed. Making you feel naked.

“Okay.” You nod your head slowly, “I can do that.” You take your time walking to him, sitting next to him on the bed.

“What is it you want to tell me?” Taehyung gets straight to the point.

“Uh….umm…”

“Words y/n.” he closes his eyes for a brief second, then his sight is back on you. “Why did you want to see me?”

“Taehyung.” Saying his name feels so…exhilarating. You’ve avoided it for so long but now you can say it and it feels like freedom and it tastes so, so sweet on your tongue.

“I don’t know where to start.” You admit. “I didn’t rehearse…”

For the first time tonight Taehyung’s face splits into a small smile as he quietly chuckles.

“Rehearse?”

“Yeah…I didn’t practice what to say.” You slur cutely.

“Just let the words flow naturally.” His eyes light up in slight amusement. “What is it you want to tell me?”

“I miss you.” You blurt out, your hand immediately going to cover your mouth as if you said curse words.

“You miss me?” he repeats your words, “Is that so?”

You slowly lower your hand that covers your mouth and nod your head.

“Yes.” You close your eyes and tilt your head back. “This past year…”

“What about it?”

“This past year I…”

“You?” Taehyung raises a curious brow, “You what?”

“I think I’ve become better.” You slur out your words, “I’m better now.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asks, his voice low. “I’m happy for you.”

“Taehyung.” You lower your head and open your eyes. They stare straight ahead. “Can we make this work?” your words jumble together as you try to speak. Those last shots sneaking up on you.

“I’ve decided that this conversation is going to have to wait.” Taehyung stands from the bed, “I’m going to get you some water.”

You watch as he walks towards a counter and pours you a glass of water, he comes back and places the cup in your hands. “Drink.” He says softly. “Please.”

“O-Okay.” You bring the cup to your lips, your eyes never leaving his as you gulp back some of the liquid.

“Good girl.” He whispers. “Now, I want you to get some sleep.”

“Are you sleeping with me?” you hiccup.

“No.” he tells you with a tender voice, “But I will stay here until you fall asleep, how about that?”

“Okay….”

Taehyung watches you carefully as you lay down on the bed, your head falling onto the fluffy pillow and your eyes closing almost immediately. He softly groans when you begin snoring only minutes later…his eyes never leaving you.

You’re going to be in Korea? For Yuna’s birthday? Taehyung reads your text like he’s on repeat. He is feeling an array of emotions, he feels good things, bad things, things in the middle. But the bad things…aren’t even very bad. It’s just anxiety…and doubt. Maybe it is that bad.

Taehyung decides not to reply not until he’s talked to his therapist, he wants to thoroughly discuss this over and come to a smart decision. But his heart is fucking fluttering at the thought of seeing you. He really misses you. But are either of you ready to face the other?

The next day Taehyung gets to the old man’s office, waiting patiently outside the door until he gets the signal he can go in. Where does he start? Does he just show the text to his therapist? Does he talk about something else first before nonchalantly bringing you up and this text that is haunting him?

“y/n texted me.” He decides to be straight forward, as usual.

“Ah, really?” the old man peeks at Taehyung through his glasses that rest lowly on his nose. “What did she say?”

“She’s coming here. She asked if she will see me.”

“And will you see her?”

“I…I don’t know.” Taehyung admits between a long breath, “I really don’t know.”

The old man nods his head in quiet understanding, he jots down some notes on his notebook with his pen.

“Taehyung.” The man stops writing his notes to get a look at Taehyung, “What do you want from her? If anything at all.”

“I just want her to live a good life.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked what you want from her?”

“I don’t know anymore.” He tells the old man, his voice low.

“It’s okay not to know. You don’t have to see her if you aren’t ready, you know?”

“I don’t?” Taehyung asks, but then his lips curve upward like he realizes how silly his question is. “I know.” He nods his head, “But it’s not like I don’t want to see her. I do.”

“Then—”

“But I don’t know how to prepare for that. I don’t know how to face her. What will we even talk about? Why does she want to see me? Is she just being polite because we share the same friends? That she knows she’s bound to run into me? Or is it because she does want to see me? But why? Why?” Taehyung begins to ramble. “Can we coexist? Is this just about coexisting? Is that about us? Her and I? Is this about what we can maybe be? But how do either of us know we are ready for that?”

“Ah, that.” The old man sighs out, taking his glasses off. “I know it may seem like cliché words…but you will just know.”

“You’re right. Those are cliché words.” Taehyung says with a straight face.

“But they are a classic for a reason, you know?” The old man points out with a chuckle. “You will feel it. You will feel it in every fiber of your being of what the right thing to do is. You will feel it. Your bones will tell you. Your heart will tell you. You will realize how simple and easy it is to just know.”

“But I don’t know?”

“Because maybe it isn’t time for you yet to be aware. But the time will come.”

“I think for now…I need time to think. I didn’t have enough time to prepare for this.” Taehyung says honestly. “This is too sudden.”

“You have every right to feel that way.”

“But how does she feel?” Taehyung becomes worried, his soft expression becoming more and more serious.

“We’re here to focus on you.” The old man reminds him gently. “In the end, I believe you will do what you think is best. You will do what you think is right. And coming to those type of conclusions takes time.”

Taehyung sits down in a chair across from the bed, gazing at you as you sleep. He thought seeing you would give him the answers he needs but he’s still lost. It took a lot for him to show up here…it took a lot for him to gather the courage to face you. He thought for sure once he saw you he would know everything. He would feel what to do. But seeing you here only confuses him further. What does he want? What is he ready for? Does he even know you anymore?

Finally, Taehyung stands up from the chair and walks to your side of the bed. He reaches his hand to gently stroke your cheek before he’s leaving the room. Leaving you. He sends a text to Jimin letting him know your room number and that you’re fast asleep. Then he is heading back home.

~~~~

“A movie night?” you tilt your head to the side, “I don’t know…can we just—”

“It’ll be a good way for everyone to unwind from last night’s partying!” Jimin whines, “Please! I promise you can choose the first movie.” He offers with a sweet smile.

“Jimin I don’t know…if I’m up for this after last night…”

“Oh? Didn’t I tell you?” the corner of Jimin’s mouth curves upwards. “He said he was going to come tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, said he wanted to hang with everyone. Guess that includes you.” Jimin points out knowingly. “You said you guys didn’t really get to talk so maybe…”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“But you said you were going to give it your all right? This is an opportunity.”

“Oh…” you start pulling at the ends of your hair, “That’s true.”

“So movie night?”

“Movie night.”

You and Jimin clean up his place as you wait for everyone’s arrival. Hobi and Yoongi show up first, then Namjoon and finally Jungkook and Jin. Taehyung still hasn’t shown up and you guys are about to play your first movie. You wonder if he is really coming.

“He’s coming, I just talked to him on the way here.” Jungkook assures you. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed.” You lie, “You relax.”

“He went last night…that’s a good sign, right?”

“I don’t know.” You admit honestly. “We didn’t get to talk.”

Suddenly, you hear the front door unlocking and opening up. You guess he has a key. You freeze on the sofa, you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. He’s here.

“Hey guys.” You hear his deep voice rumble. “I’m here.” He announces but you keep your eyes on the TV. You feel his footsteps get closer and closer, the pitter patter against the wooden floors making you so anxious.

Then you see his figure in your peripherals, he’s standing on the side of the couch, facing you.

“Hi y/n.”

You gulp, your eyes still on the TV when you remind yourself you’re a brave girl. You slowly turn your head to face him, your wide eyes finding his face. His hair is shorter than you remember, still a bit wavy and still dark. He looks so handsome, so mature. He’s got on some comfortable looking pants and a printed button up, his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you.

“Hi.” You squeak.

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks, his low voice barely heard by the others. “If it’s okay…”

“Yeah!” you rush to scoot over, making room for him. “Sit, sit.”

Taehyung gives you a wide boxy grin and nods his head quickly, he takes a seat next to you, his shoulder bumping yours. Fuck, you feel like you’re in middle school. His shoulder is like, fucking heaven or some shit.

“What movie did you guys decide on?”

“I don’t know, something random.” You tell him nervously. “It just started. You haven’t missed much.”

“I don’t think I’ll be paying much attention to the movie anyway.” Taehyung whispers, his warm breath fanning your cheek from how close he is.

“Oh?” you gulp. “Jimin says it’s good though.”

“I’m not really here for the movies, you know?” He leans into you a little bit and you feel a harsh, harsh blush creep up on your heated cheeks. His fingers find your knee and he taps against your jeans. “Can we talk outside?”

“The—The movie….” You whisper, pointing at the screen. “Let’s just watch the movie for now.”

Shit, you haven’t felt this nervous under his gaze in his long. His eyes study you as you watch the film. You can feel his intense gaze. You can feel how he just stares at you from time to time.

You aren’t sure why you are chickening out…maybe because you’re embarrassed about being drunk last night. How you asked if you guys could work on it, but he said he wanted to save this talk for later. It’s just making you more and more nervous.

“This movie is boring.” Jin yawns. “Let’s pause and order some food? Also let’s go to the store and get some beer?”

“Dude yes!” Hobi agrees, “I’ll go. Who wants to come with me?”

“I’ll go with you.” Namjoon raises his hand.

“You’re right I need your muscles to help me.”

“I’ll order the food!” Jimin offers but Jungkook is quick to volunteer as well, something about not trusting Jimin to get all the good meats.

“Sounds good.” Yoongi brings out his phone and starts playing on it.

Taehyung glances over at you and nods towards the patio.

“Shall we?” he begins standing up, he faces you and extends his hand out for you to take. You hesitate but you take it. The warmth of his hand sending tingles all throughout your body, you wonder if he feels it too.

He leads you out to the patio and you both take a seat across from one another. You nervously shake your knee up and down and Taehyung can’t help but chuckle.

“Will you calm down?” He insists, “You’re the one who wanted to talk, remember?”

“I know.” You find his beautiful, brown eyes. “I do.”

“Then talk.” He gestures for you to go on.

“Taehyung.”

“Yes?”

“How has your year been?” this is where you decide to start.

“Hard. Good. Worth it.” He leans back in the chair, “I struggled some days more than others but mostly…really good.”

“Do you think you could…be honest with me? Be open with me?” you nibble on your lips, your knee continues to shake.

“How so?”

“Can you tell me all about your year, what you went through, how you felt. Your feelings in general. Could you do that? With me?”

Taehyung blinks at you in surprise for a few seconds before he is closing his eyes altogether. He leans even further back in his chair and takes a deep breath.

“You want to know me again?” he whispers out. “You want to know me?”

“Yes. And I want you to know me in return.” Your shaking knee finally comes to a stop as you drag your chair closer to his. “I want to…really talk. About everything. I want to understand you. I want…”

“I understand.” Taehyung nods his head before opening his eyes again, they find yours and you’re intimated by his gaze. He observes you for a while, his serious expression making you nervous again.

“What do you want from me?” He asks bluntly. “What is your ultimate goal here?”

“You.” You reply just as straight forward. “I want you.”

“I don’t know.” He says quickly, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. He doesn’t know?

“I think…” he sighs out, “I don’t think it’s that simple.” And what the old man said is starting to make sense. This is a moment where Taehyung feels it. He feels what the right thing to do is.

“I don’t think we can jump into something like romance, y/n.”

You brows pinch together as you listen to him speak, but you relax your features and nod in understanding,

“Do you want to be friends with me, Taehyung?”

“I think that’s a place we can start.”

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #the island chapter 14

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glowyjellyfish · 3 years ago

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Progress report:

I downloaded many medieval things from many sites. Still need to install most of them. The big problem was attempting to download literally everything from Almighty Hat--I was planning to mainly just go for objects at this point, but there was so. much. hair. and medieval undergarments! different ones from the other Almighty Hat ones I already had! ...so eventually I bookmarked the hair pages I thought I didn’t have, and promised myself to do a hair run later. That means it feels like I only have PBK left to scour for objects, without counting things like GOS gift sets as I don’t even know how to begin searching through that without literally looking at everything.

The CEP seemed to solve the blue on the medieval wood set... until I loaded a lot where I had already placed them. Then the blue was back, would not depart, and any new attempts at placing also came with blue. This is after emptying my cache AND clearing all the thumbnails, you understand. I guess placing the blue objects was a bad idea as now the lots have re-cursed the objects with blue? Should I just sell and replace the cursed objects with different ones, or do I need to do another re-download, or what? I will have to see.

Anyway, today I built a beekeeping farm for the Patels that turned out pretty great. Try as I might, I could not make the lot be worth $35,000 as yeoman lots should be, but it’s fine. There’s only so much decor I could cram in there anyway.

I forgot to position the camera correctly to see the ceiling, but trust me it has one. Oh, probably I left the game set on an upper floor after taking the outside picture. Mea culpa!

Bush clipping in from outside, might have to deal with that. I found I like clustering the fridge, sink, and tub next to each other in my medieval kitchens in an effort to imply that they are sharing a small water supply rather than having the whole house full of plumbing wherever.

Second floor! I have finally figured out to put roof walls above interior walls. This room is currently a vague nursery, and has loads of space for more children as needed.

The bed looks a little overly fancy, but it wasn’t expensive. I’m just going to pretend a relative carved it all nice for them.

The yard! Little outhouse, five beehives ready to be filled, a honey press, four apple trees and one each pear and persimmon for variety, and a row of blackberry bushes.

Rows of herbs and berry bushes, and in the distance a slightly overgrown cluster of shrubs and wildflowers for the bees to enjoy!

Looking back at the house from within a patch of wildflowers.

And a small market stand out front to sell their herbs, fruit, and honey. Maybe someday, they’ll add a fully indoor home store to sell out of, but right now I love this house too much to change it. It’s that glamorous yellow plaster-and-timber exterior, I am sure. I’m a little concerned I made it too nice for yeomen, but it has the correct number of rooms and furniture (plus some decor and one extra side table for the scroll phone), and they didn’t even fill out the standard pre-garden yeomen budget of $35,000, so it’s probably fine.

And I am getting very close to finishing the makeovers of Desiderata Valley, after which will be everyone’s favorite, Pleasantview!

The second yeoman family of Desiderata Valley, after the Ottomases, is the Jocque family.

Sophia Jocque. I try to match the colors of each sim’s original outfit unless I find something else I like better, and I made a point of giving her long, soft hair to counteract her very square jaw. I think she came out looking really nice!

Marcel Jocque. Nothing special, but I’ve been trying that hair on lots of men and am pleased I finally found one for whom it worked!

Violet Jocque, now with one long braid instead of two short ones!

Next we have the Bells, the only merchant family of Desiderata Valley.

Hannah Bell. Although I usually vaguely aim in the direction of whatever texture a sim’s original hair is, in this case I didn’t think it was particularly sensible to give Hannah and Sharon straight hair. No straighteners in the medieval megahood! Besides, she looks much nicer with those braids.

...and Sharon looks amazing with this short curly mop. She’s a tad rebellious anyway, and I didn’t want to repeat my longer curly hairs this early.

Isaac Bell. It was kinda tough finding him an outfit that reflected his colors without being too high or low class, and without simply repeating what I’ve put on other yeomen. As you can see, I didn’t quite nail it (his original outfit is pink and grey), but this works; he looks like he’s got a bucket of charisma.

And Daniel Bell, sneaking in one last use of the TV before everything goes full medieval.

Finally, the gentry of Desiderata Valley, Lady Natasha Una.

...she’s still obsessed with grilled cheese. I might change that, but then again I might not. She’s one of the highest ranking available adult women, so she probably won’t stay single for long. Her best prospects are currently Duke Armand DeBateau, Lord Nervous Subject/Specter (I’ll probably change his last name to Specter, Subject is his... hostage name), or, failing either of those, Lord Geoff Rutherford, Lord Connor Weir, Lord Kent Capp, or Lord Frances J. Worthington III. Kent Capp is less likely, as I want to prioritize him for ladies that need to keep their names and positions, but he’s definitely an option, and they have hit it off before in other, non-medieval megahoods I’ve played.

I just have to makeover the Aspir family, and then I’ll be on to the peasants of Pleasantview. Also, I have decided that I need to finish making over all the playable sims (including the college sims) before I can start actually playing, in addition to completing all lot construction and remodeling in Belladonna Cove. I... am not sure yet whether it’s a great or terrible idea to start actually playing before I finish Everything, but it at least makes a nice smaller goal to shoot for.

#the sims 2 #ts2 #sims 2 medieval #the megakingdom of simland #simblr

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classicalliberalleague · 5 years ago

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Does PGC even post anymore or is that all the cute animals? So this is to NAC. First off. Do you vote? And if so what do you vote for? And second of all, what is your purpose on this site? You rip people a new one if they don't lick your boots and then block them. You've created a soapbox in an echo chamber. What the hell makes you think you're conservative? And why the hell do you think we have time to read the Mueller report. U read it, tell us why the President should be impeached?

Yes, shows you don’t pay much attention, but we’ll get back to that...but most of those animals are NAC.

Yes I vote. And sadly it’s for a lot of third party candidates who don’t stand a chance because the two main parties are only offering me a choice of fascism and socialism.

“what is your purpose on this site?“ To express my opinion. For whatever reasons I may have. The same as any tumblr page. You act as if I have to justify having a tumblr page. The fuck? Better question given that you admit to never actually wanting to learn what is you purpose in existence? Because whatever it is you’re failing. Once long ago I had hopes that maybe tumblr would expose me to arguments more traditional outlets didn’t...boy was I wrong (just as I was wrong that the majority of Republicans weren’t racist, just as I was wrong once long ago that the FAIR tax was better than a flat tax, and certainly that before reading Federalist 42 and seeing that the Constitution gives no power to regulate immigration I thought for all it’s short coming on economics immigration rules should be followed because rule of law should be upheld and efforts should be pragmatically made to reduce them over time...but once I saw that it was unconstitutional I realized they have to go right now...we could go on for a long time on things I’ve learned I’m wrong about, but that would involve discussion what is I’m sure a foreign concept to you, learning).

“You rip people a new one if they don't lick your boots and then block them.“ I rip people a new one if they waste my time. If you came into my house and started yelling at me I’d be well withing my rights to send you to hell you so richly deserve. If you come to my tumblr page to spout drivel I will throw you out as well.

“You've created a soapbox in an echo chamber. “ Soapbox, certainly. Echo chamber. It is presenting an opinion certainly, one biased by reason, facts, logic, and ethics. But I don’t exist in an echo chamber. Every day I keep up with CNN and Fox, Washington Times and Washington Post, AEI and Brookings, CATO and The Dipatch, The Bulwark and the Atlantic, National Review and Ricochet. From the Far Right to the Far Left to the Far Libertarian. I track down primary documents and I post some of the more interesting stuff I find. Not to mention hundreds of books from a variety of sources. So I’m not in an echo chamber. And I don’t require that anyone else be in an echo chamber. Please go find other sources than me. But if you’re going to waste my time by commenting on my post with the intellectual equivalent of diarrhea don’t expect me to want to bother with you. You and I both have the right to speak, and we both have the right to not listen. You have a problem with my right to speak and my right to not listen, I am fully in support of both of yours.

“What the hell makes you think you're conservative?“ A desire for small, limited government (unlike both parties at present). A desire for free market capitalism (unlike both parties right now). A desire for following the Constitution (both parties fail, but the democrats are vaguely in line with impeaching Trump, but I wouldn’t begin to fool myself that they suddenly believe in the Constitution...which is the documents benefits, it doesn’t always have to be believed in just followed to work). I believe in low taxes and free trade like the Founding Fathers. I believe in doing what works by that I mean things that in one example after another show pragmatic results that benefit everyone (capitalism, open border, free speech, freedom of religion, the right to bear arms). I believe in personal responsibility, in defending liberty at home and abroad, at opposing tyranny at every turn.

Can Trump or any of his supporters say the same? No. Not on a single point.

So how do you claim I’m not a conservative?

“And why the hell do you think we have time to read the Mueller report.“ Because you as a voting citizen have a civic duty to hold your elected representatives to account and to do that you have stay informed. It’s available for FREE at audible https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Mueller-Report-Audiobook/B07PXN468K It’s 19 hours. Playing it at double speed or higher (Audible can get up to 3.5x speed, which is how I can get through more than 200 books a year...when was the last time you read even one?) means you’d only need about 10 hours. Most commutes are 4.3 hours a week...so even if you only listened on your drive to work you’d be done in two and a half weeks. If you don’t have 19 hours to spare, what are you doing? You never do chores (which can be done while listening to audiobooks?) or is catching up on the Mandalorian so much more important than the fate of a real Republic...or perhaps given that well over half the pro-Trump blogs I have to block are mostly porn is it that you have other things that capture your attention.

“tell us why the President should be impeached? “ You see this is why you get blocked. There are literally hundreds of posts that are much shorter than a 19 hour read that I have posted which do that. But you didn’t bother to read any of them. You just attack, blindly, like the brainless twit you are. But you don’t have to read my posts...but don’t then complain when I don’t have any respect for the filth you call an opinion.

But since you missed why Trump should be impeached, removed, convicted, tried, sentenced and imprisioned for the rest of his life. Let’s go over it again.

There is the massive tax fraud he and his family were involved in

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/10/02/us/politics/donald-trump-tax-schemes-fred-trump.html

He is a money launder for the cartels

https://www.globalwitness.org/en/campaigns/corruption-and-money-laundering/narco-a-lago-panama/

He has violated the emoluments clause from the first day

https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-emoluments-clause-its-text-meaning-and-application-to-donald-j-trump/

He has obstructed justice in the Mueller investigation:

“Because we determined not to make a traditional prosecutorial judgment, we did not draw ultimate conclusions about the President’s conduct. The evidence we obtained about the President’s actions and intent presents difficult issues that would need to be resolved if we were making a traditional prosecutorial judgment. At the same time,if we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state.” I.e. Barr won’t let us charge him. If we thought he wasn’t guilty of obstruction we’d say so. We’re not saying so. (I.e. he’s guilty of obstruction his handpicked Goering wannabe Barr just won’t let us charge him with the crimes he committed).

Conclusion from the Mueller Report. https://www.justice.gov/storage/report.pdf

Is one paragraph short enough for you?

He attempted extortion of a foreign nation (I read the summary of the transcript where he said “do me a favor”, can’t read the transcript as he keep repeating because it has been illegally classified)

He did said extortion to help himself win an election a violation of his oath of office and to help his friends in Russia. Both crimes.

And then he committed obstruction of justice/Congress by not allowing his people to testify.

I notice also that you tried to take this back to the Mueller report because his crimes that the Democrats actually had the balls to impeach him on (a mere fraction of the crimes he is guilty of) are such an open and shut case that you prefer to take things back the Mueller Report which does requires above an elementary level of reading (which I’m guessing you, like your God-King Trump, lack).

Now please, fascist cocksucker run along. Don’t bother me again. I will never concern myself with your meaningless drivel but you can shout your filth as much as you want. I just don’t care. Just don’t bother me unless you want to come and deal with real facts (I realize such a thing is so foreign a concept to you that you probably stopped reading long ago to go back to the porn blogs that are more you level, but still, I have to put in the request, Don Quixote that I am--that’s a reference to a book by the way, you’re supposed to read them not burn them...again I’m sure it’s a concept that goes too far for you).

“ U read it,“ There are always of course unintentional typos and only a fool points those out on a format such as tumblr. But “U”? In a political argument you treat this like a high school girl texting her bffjill? And you wonder why my contempt knows no bounds.

- NAC

—-

As for me, PGC, I post once in a blue moon. Occassionally I post about my history podcast, which is only one of the many projects I’m working on that have made tumblr so very low on my priority list. Politics is no longer my main sector of interest and that was 90% of what I used tumblr for.

So yeah, I’m busy. I keep up with the news and post on twitter fairly often (@MeredithAncret aned @history_wtf, if anyone is desperate to know) but I’m starting grad school in 6 weeks (meaning my reading assignments already started), writing my podcast, and working on at least two novels and a short story series intermittantly. If someone wants my opinion they can address an ask to me and I’ll see it eventually or NAC will let me know it’s there.

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 5 years ago

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Song Tag

Song game!

Tagged by @bae-minseung

Thanks for tagging me, luv!

Rule: You can only repeat one artist and song only one time, so we can all kind of spread new 🎶to the people we tag. Try to listen to at least one of the song’s people rec here.

1. Song you 💛ed the first time you listened to and never got tired of?

Universe by Minhyun

When ‘Universe’ came out on April 3rd of 2019, I already knew it was going to become one of my favorite songs ever. How did I know that? I can’t really say. The first note tickled my ear and made me feel fuzzy inside, but also a little sad. I don’t know if there’s anyone else out there that likes standing in the rain and feeling it trickle down your cheeks, but it felt like that—only better. It felt like the cold water was warm, and instead of it being clear, it was dye and it was coloring me beautifully. That song felt like first love to me. Thrilling and beautiful, but also a little heart-wrenching and sorrowful. I think that’s why I love it so much, and still love it to this day. I can always go back to that song to fill me with the color that I lack. In the words of Minhyun: “You have to be happy, my universe”.

2. One song you 😭 every time you listen or makes you emotional?

The Last by Agust D

‘The Last’ is such a painfully honest song, and I admire that honesty. Since BTS debuted in 2013, I remember looking at Min Yoongi through the eyes of a relatively thoughtless nine-year-old and thinking, “What kind of person are you? Who are you?” I thought it was a funny question, at the time. I knew who he was. He was Min Yoongi—Suga from BTS. He was a cool Korean guy I saw on the internet. Though, as time went by and I got older, I realize it.

“You’re me.”

“You’re older than me, and we’re different people.”

“But that doesn’t matter.”

“You’re me in another body.”

When I came to that realization, I cried for hours without making any noise. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. Up until that point, I was someone who locked her door and screamed until she felt better, but at that time, I realized that it felt better to scream in my head, because then I could do it whenever I needed to. I could be in a room full of people, and I could still be screaming. For whatever reason, I felt comforted by that. I always used to scream and throw tantrums so that people would hear me. So they would know what I was thinking, and what I did or didn’t like. I needed to be heard; I desired it. But after coming to my ‘realization’, I didn’t need to scream to be heard anymore, because there was already someone out there that understood me.

I’m incredibly blessed that ‘The Last’ came out around that time that I developed my ‘Yoongi-ness’, for lack of better term that doesn’t sound too over-dramatic. I’ve never been depressed—I’ve just been really sad or couldn’t feel anything at all, but I’ve felt less really-sad (or at least more comfortable with my really sad), because I knew that I could come back to this song and feel like someone understood.

And that made me happy. That’s one reason why I’m so happy now.

He understood me without hearing a word I said, knowing my face, or knowing my name. Without knowing of my existence, I felt treasured and that’s why ‘The Last’ is always the song that can make me emotional/cry.

3. One song that always makes you happy/😁?

Get Cool by Stray Kids

I have no reason for this whatsoever. I think it’s just the way they sing it or the meaning behind the lyrics, but I always feel cheered up when I listen to this song. Like nothing can bring me down and I can just be unashamed about how freakin’ happy I am.

4. One song you would dedicate to your best friend and/or family?

P.O.P (Piece of Peace) by J-hope

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. If I care for someone, I want to be their strength and their light. I want to make their dreams brighter and their nightmares disappear. I want to be a safe place for them. Therefore! Piece of Peace.

5. One song with production (the sounds, the beat, the mood) you 😍?

Manitto by Villain

This song!! This song always makes me feel like I’m in an MV, ‘cause no matter where you are, it somehow fits every. Single. Situation. It makes me feel like a suave criminal that walks by people on the street and everyone’s just like, “Daaaaaamn, is that a snack? ‘Cause all of a sudden, I’m hungry”. I always feel 50% more confident once I listen to this song. I’m not someone who swings their hips when they walk, but Manitto has that effect on me. It unlocks my inner zest. I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it and it’s been stuck in my ear eternally ever since. The vibe, the mood, the production—all of it is outstanding and totally underrated. Plus, Villain is probably one of my biggest vocal inspirations. I don’t necessarily follow his style (mostly because I don’t think I’m capable of his abilities), but I admire him so much because he’s always had his own voice color that is just incomparable.

6. One song with perfect, amazing, outstanding lyrics?

My New World by CIX

Oh my goshhhhhhh, where to start with this one? There’s nothing I don’t love about this song, particularly the lyrics. Everything from Yonghee’s falsetto to Seunghun’s power to BX’s and Hyunsuk’s shared rap part to Jinyoung’s “heyyyy~” (only those that have listened to it will understand)—it always hits me in a strong, powerful way. It’s a song all about carrying your light along with your darkness, and that’s always a lesson I’m try to teach myself every single day. I think one of my favorite lines is: “Take the bumpy road”, because it reminds me of something I told myself once. I was sitting on my bed at 4:30 in the morning, watching the sunrise. I was in a really nostalgic mood and I was alone in the house, so I just sighed, laid down and started crying for no reason, telling myself, “It’s hard to be a good person”. I think ‘My New World’ has become a source of strength for me, because it makes me feel like I’m more capable of going through the struggles of trying to be the best version of myself.

7. One song that you would recommend to anyone?

go, just go by eli

I think if you listen to it, you’ll find out what I mean without me even having to say much. I remember putting this on my friend’s ‘Calm Down and Chill’ playlist and then that same day, he called me and said, “What the heck is this?” and I was like, “...what?”. He explained to me that he meant the song, but I didn’t understand why he was so adamant about it until he said, “You can’t put stuff like that on my playlists. It’s too beautiful and it makes me cry”. I think that’s pretty powerful.

8. One song you don’t understand why you like so much but you do anyway?

BLACKWHITE by CORBYN

Corbyn (ex member of 24k) is a little-known self-producing soloist under 28Laboratory and BLACKWHITE is my favorite song by him. I love the classy-old-film vibe it has, despite it being a hip-hop song with hard rap. I’m not sure why I like, but I think it has something to do with how clever and almost punny the lyrics are. Not to mention, I always gets chills whenever he says, “Y’all don’t amaze me”. Another thing that probably helps in adding to my love for this track is that his producing feels familiar to me since he produced a lot of my favorite 24k songs, like Super Fly and Bonnie N’ Clyde.

9. One song that you think people in general wouldn’t like, but you do?

TOP Gang by MCND

I will openly admit that this is a genera plenty people aren’t that into—hip-hop with rap-heavy vocals and a raw production quality—but I happen to love this song. Not only does it impress me that all the members are so young (Win has been my baby since Under19), but also because the members took part in the writing and producing of the song. Castle J helped in producing it, and he wrote the lyrics for it, along with Win and BIC. They really have so much talent and they put so much effort into it, and I find the way they structured their rhyming to be very addictive. I find myself going back to listen to it because it puts me in that “I can do anything” kind of mood.

10. One song people normally like and you don’t like or hate?

Cheerleader by OMI

...I don’t have much to say about this one, I just don’t like it. I’m not a very social person, but I remember the year that this was REALLY popular was probably my busiest year yet, so I was out all the time, and it was playing EVERYWHERE. Going to the pool with my friends? It’s playing. Dinner with my family? It’s playing. Literally just shopping for some new underwear? (TMI, I know) Yup, that’s right. It’s playing. I just couldn’t stand it by the end of the year. 😂

11. One song you would call a masterpiece?

Saturn by Sleeping At Last

‘Saturn’ is the one song I come back to over and over again. It makes me happy, it makes me cry, it makes me thoughtful and pensive. It’s everything that I would consider a ‘masterpiece’. The beginning part with the violins and the piano always reminds me of my sister and I, because that’s always been out thing. I play piano, she plays violin. For both of us, music is our first love. My sister’s lost her first love because life is busy and she’s always working and stressed, but I’m fighting tooth and nail to hold onto it and never let go, because to me, music is everything. It brings me to the stars, which are too far away for me to physically touch. It can make me feel when I’m numb, it can make me happy when all I’ve done is cry, and it makes me realize over and over again that life is literally the best thing ever. We’d have nothing without life, and music makes that apparent to me—especially this song.

12. One song you recently (30 days max) discovered and really liked it?

I’m not okay by Deadfish

I like songs that give me an atmosphere, and this song definitely does just that. It feels like brutal honesty cutting into my skin while I’m drowning in my backyard pool, and the chlorine is seeping into my wounds and it just hurts, but in such a nice way. It feels like the loneliness gets a little bit less lonely by the end of the song, and it definitely lessens your sense of self-pity, because you realize other people feel the same as you, if not worse.

13. One song you listen to to get pumped like you wanna tear down the government or something?

HIT by Seventeen

Hit fills me with a sense of excitement and hype unlike any other. Basically, everything about it—the beat, rhythm, lyrics, bass-drop, synth, the fanchant—gets me absolutely hyped up. I can’t sit still whenever I’m listening to it, and I always (ALWAYS) sing along. If I’m sitting, I’m doing this weird shoulder and waist dance. If I’m standing, I’m jumping up and down higher than a volleyball player. It’s even worse when I’m in the mood for dancing, ‘cause then I attempt the choreography, but only in the comfort of solitude, ‘cause oh my gosh, there’s some embarrassing moments. This one definitely is heightened by the fact that I’m going to a Seventeen concert in less than a week.

Thanks again for tagging me, luv! I had a lot of fun doing it, as you know I always like to share my music with anyone that’ll listen. Anyway! I’ll tag my peeps now.

@shizziebo (You always have interesting opinions, Cheya. Love to know what’s going on in that head.)

@lostmyshame (I’m curious what you’d say. You intrigue me. 👍)

@aesthetic-06-24 (I got a random sense from you; don’t know why.)

@itslilliansnow (I know you’ve been busy recently, so don’t worry too much about getting to this.)

#tag game #tag #song #song tag

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deadinsidedressage · 6 years ago

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Examples of my Classism & Elitism

Just helping @waywardequestrian back up her claims.

1) My accommodations for my horses growing up. My family had enough money to keep our horses on our property which consisted of dirt floor stalls so warped be repeated cleaning of wet spots over the years that I horrifically sprained my ankle in 2015 taking a misstep into one of the craters. Whenever I asked my parents about getting stall mats I was told that was too expensive and we couldn't afford it. I also had issues every year with the horses getting thrush and weak hooves from the foot-deep mud that made up about a 1/4 of the pasture (and was right outside the stalls) that existed about 1/2 the year since we live where it rains a lot. The two times my parents had enough money to buy me a truckload of gravel to try and fix it; it hardly made a dent and I was told they could only afford the one load.

2) My "arena" growing up. It's an empty grass lot that's wider but shorter than a small dressage ring. It also was horrifically rocky. Whenever I asked if we could put sand down and I offered to do it myself if they just bought it for me I was told we could not afford that. I did my best trying to clear out the large rocks, diligently taking a big fence post pry bar out there to remove the big ones every few weeks, filling in with dirt and hoping that by doing that I was reducing the risk of my horse taking a bad step and being hurt. I was lucky though that my neighbor would periodically run his riding lawn mower through it to keep the grass low. I tried a few times to keep a temporary fence up but ultimately the blackberries would just eat it up anyway so over the years I lost more length and width to that. My horses learned uberstreichen from me ducking to avoid tree branches I was in a constant battle with.

3) My parents couldn't afford to buy us (I have a sister who rode for a while) our own horses, so for the first few years we were given our cousin's pony to learn on and share. Then my mom careleased an old retired WP horse for a bit before having to send her away because she had eye problems and we couldn't afford the medication. For 3 years we shared an Arab pony who was 4 when my mom bought her for less than $500. Eventually we landed with two careleased Arabs, one who was 21 when we started leasing her and one was 7 when we started leasing him. After looking after the gelding for 7 years, his owners announced they wanted to sell him. We couldn't afford what they asked and he was ripped from our family after 7 years of an spoken agreement that he would be ours permanently.

4) Our first year in USPC we couldn't take our horses to any of the lessons because our parents couldn't afford a horse trailer. When we did finally get a trailer it was so ancient that the tackroom floor was rotting out. I lived in constant fear my shitty little saddle would fall through and be lost forever during one of our trips to the twice monthly USPC lessons we went to.

5) When my parents finally were able to buy me a horse, our budget wasn't supposed to be over $1500, but my mom got an extra $500 by selling some of her personal tack for the Arab mare she bought 1 year before becoming pregnant with me. She'd bought that mare for $700 dollars and she had to ask my grandfather to loan her the money so she could buy her. Mia was $2,500 but my mom had fallen in love with her personality so she negotiated to pay for her monthly. She paid $150 a month for her and they only agreed because she was a broodmare they had sold to riding home, had to rescue her from it, resold her to another riding home and then had to rescue her from that, and they were trying to get her off the property to make room for the valuable horses.

6) This or some variation of this was what I looked like the majority of the time I was growing up. My boots were an extra wide calf because my dad had actually bought them for my mom. I'm a regular calf. I wore them until they literally came apart, took them to a cobbler to get a repair that lasted a bit, and then wore them completely through again. Whenever I had to walk on foot somewhere with them my socks would get soaked from the holes in them. My show coat was a boys sport's jacket we got at Goodwill. My saddle was a shitty and ancient Steuben that did not fit my horse, actively caused saddle sores, and which forced my leg so forward I battled a chair seat. But my mom got it for $100 and it's called an all-purpose so can't you just do dressage in it? I also didn't have access to private lessons. I got my twice a month group Pony Club lessons.

7) When I was 13/14 I got really serious about horses and wanting to progress. I had to beg my mom for about a year to get private lessons and the deal was that I could only have two a month on the opposite weeks of Pony Club. My sister had pretty much stopped riding by then so it was a lot more doable financially and my mom was finally working full-time. As it became obvious I didn't have the right saddle, the right arena at home, the right clothes; I had to work to get access to those things. I luckily had a knack for braiding and lived close to a prominent show ground; I worked the shows and made enough money to get a dressage saddle, to get boots, to even get as basic of things as stable wraps for my horse.

8) As a 15-16 year old I worked as a WS for a hunter/jumper trainer in order to get weekly lessons. She wasn't against me for not having a TB or a WB, she honestly put in a lot to make things work for us and really liked my horse--- she did however exlcude me from opportunities I couldn't afford. I couldn't afford to do the rated shows, so I didn't. The year she thought I could take the school horse for one show she passed me over for the girl whose mom would pay her. I would've worked it off but that wasn't good enough.

9) This is the horse I competed for 10 years. She's standing on a hill so you don't get the best picture of her confo and this as all I could drag up. Long backed, downhill, weak hocks. Not exactly the perfect dressage or jumping prospect. Between ages of 14-16, I developed a lot as a rider. One of my trainers through Pony Club saw this development as a great time to try and rip me from this sub-optimal mount and stick me on one of his horses I could lease because I wouldn't progress on this horse. He didn't want to work with a downhill, long backed APHA that was deeply under conditioned and not professionally trained for where I was starting to head. The emotional abuse I sustained from that trainer-student relationship still effects me. But how could I tell Mr. Watson that not only did I love this horse, but that we couldn't afford a different horse.

10) 14-16 were tough years for me mentally as an equestrian. While I had one supportive trainer I actually worked for and lessoned with; the presence of the other who continually rubbed it in my face that my horse wasn't meant for dressage and jumping made me fall into that "I'm an underdog" toxic mentality that I've been talking about on this blog for years. For as much fuel as deeply hating someone tellimg me what I couldn't do there was a greater presence of a "woe is me the world is biased against us" attitude. Any bad scores were "because the judge hates non-Warmbloods" and not because I had a horse that struggled with being on the forehand. Not placing well in jumping was because "I don't have as much money as they do" and not because my equitation was mediocre at best and I chipped-in to every fence.

11) I went about 6-9 months without professional training at all because I was so disillusioned with it (again, despite having had a trainer who was trying to work with me and my horse) and managed to sort some things out on my own given the foundation I'd received from the h/j trainer.

12) I took the very strong foundation that the one trainer who was there for me throughout that period gave me and took my embittered 17 year old self off to an "unconventional" "morally superior" trainer who would turn out to be an opioid addict with more bravado than talent. Thinking I was such a supremely talented but underrated rider, I didn't develop as much as I could have and I wasted a lot of money where I shouldn't have. I wanted to do rated shows (and actually the opioid addict wasn't the worst dressage trainer) but was actively discouraged because "they won't score you what you deserve it's a waste of money"--- not true. My opioid addict trainer also wanted to take credit for the development of my horse's canter (she used to cross-fire and be so strung out) but literally couldn't get that canter out of her when on her. Realistically, given the right opportunities falling into place I could have probably knocked out my Bronze and part of my Silver on that horse in high school.

13) I was only guaranteed my horse at college with me for one quarter at age 18 (even though board actually broke down to be way cheaper than keeping her at home). I worked a lot my initial stint at undergrad to get more opportunities with my horse. Too bad I was being abused, tried to kill myself, and had to drop out of college.

14) At 18 it's not illogical to expect you'll have to field all your horse's costs yourself. My mom had always said she'd take care of Mia until she passed though--- so she'd always have food and shelter. I did have to retire her early though because I couldn't afford hock injections. My lucky break was that my mom had purchased a horse for herself my sophomore year of high school who I had in high school been putting time into (spitefully not much because she wasn't suitable for my mother, but when I thought I might be able to convince my mom to sell her right before I left with my horse to college I put in a lot more effort and took her to schooling shows) who was sitting doing nothing but certainly sound.

15) This blog documents part of 5 years in which Chevy was my primary horse, an even less suitable APHA, and my struggles with not being able to afford lessons, clinics, shows. You'll find a lot of me working that horse in that shitty little grass arena because I couldn't afford to haul-in as regularly.

16) This blog also documents the extremely emotional traumatic ups and downs of my mom wanting to sell Chevy because she realized she was never going to ride her and me coming to grips with the fact that even if I could manage to afford to board her myself I would continue to be stuck making no progress. I desperately and fiercely love that horse and she was desperately and fiercely very wrong for me.

17) That's who I am. I'm the bobo backyard rider whose horses went years without floating their teeth or getting vaccines because we couldn't afford it. The girl whose horse was always tripping when we first got her because we couldn't afford a farrier who knew what they were doing, we could afford Rich who charged $60 for all three horses. The girl whose mom had to sell her own tack in order to buy me a horse. I'm not speaking from a place of privilege. I'm speaking from a place of knowledge, of experience, and of protection for all the other little girls who just want a pair of boots that fit them right.

Don't you dare fucking presume to know me.

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svblunar · 6 years ago

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( * lim dal-hye . )

✧ — * » < kim namjoon, cismale, he/him, twenty-six > welcome to the witching community of chicago, LIM DAL-HYE ! you’re a LUNAR WITCH right ? some of the locals around here have described you as being DELPHIC and A CONTROL FREAK, but others have said you’re CORDIAL and STARRY-EYED. i guess i’ll have to see for myself. now, being a type of witch, i hear you excel at PSIONIC IMAGE PROJECTION. the chicago witching community prides itself on having skilled witches so make sure to keep practicing!

hello :3 this is @jinhien‘s mom with her much softer son~

SORTA BIO THING:

first of all, dalhye’s @ofjunos’ big brother. hence, i’m not going to be a little parrot and repeat everything taylor wrote about their parents in her bio, i’m just going to link it here.

he’s a 92 liner, born 6 years before his baby brother, as the very first kid of the lim fam

prior to his birth, his dad really wanted a child, while his mother was very wary of it. this is why, when they found out she was carrying a baby, the father was ecstatic, and the mom was super stressed out. of course she was happy, but she’s always had more of an analytical approach to life and she’s always been an overthinker.

the pregnancy was wonderful and the baby boy was born during the total lunar eclipse which happened during the night between the 9th & 10th december of 1992. because of this, and the small crescent moon birthmark he was born with on his right hip, they wanted to incorporate DAL, meaning moon in korean, into his name.

he brought the spring back into their relationship, and somehow they fell for each other even more, watching one another care for their little baby with so much adoration and patience and vrwbkhnwc i love this little family :(

being a tech witch, his mom would always come up with innovative techy toys for him to play with, but he’d become bored with them in two days, toss them away and not care for them anymore, but ever since he could walk & talk, he’d always been interested in his dad’s crystals and would play with his mom’s necklace and rings, crafted by his dad, while sitting on her lap

he was definitely a night child, and his parents had a problem with putting him to bed. when the moon was up, he was up too, no discussion. he’d be all sleepy and lazy during the day, tho. he wasn’t really an outdoorsy kid, or an active kid generally, but he’d insist on looking at the moon n the stars every night, and only fairy tales regarding those two elements would put him to sleep, so it was pretty easy to determine what type of a witch he’d be

growing up, he wouldn’t insist on going to the playground or staying with the other kids more than his parents would allow him, since he’d like to spend some time alone with his thoughts and the nature often. his mood would be so back and forth all the time. he could be bawling one minute, and then fine the next... that has followed him into his adulthood as well

he really insisted on having a bby sibling 💕 and his parents finally DELIVERED six years later. during his mom’s pregnancy, he’d call his bby brother moonie bc his mom’s belly reminded him of the full moon :( iM devastated yaLL

being an empathetic lil lunar witch, he always stayed by his mom’s side, and she was treated like a proper QUEEN by his dad n him, they didn’t let her pick up a spoon, let alone anything larger FIENSJSKMDF

i dont think there was a happier day in his life than the day his lil moonie was born ???? i mEAN J U N O FNSKEJDF

he’d practice his reading by reading his bby brother stories !! he was ALWAYS by his side and always snuggling him and he probably transferred a good chunk of empathy and softness onto him

basically his life revolved around his lil bro n parents, n everything he did, he did it for them, and didn’t really make connections outside of his family bc he was happy the way things were, with only four of them ?? they were his safe haven

he did well in school and was a total teacher’s pet FENCDISK also he wanted to set a good example and be a good role model for juno ( maybe he still calls him moonie sometimes pstT )

the hardest thing in his life was moving out of his HOME ?? his parents got him an apartment near the campus of his witching academy and ... he no longer got to see them 24/7, but their mom forced them to make a group chat for the lim fambam n stay in touch all the time nivrnwicm dal always sent moon & heart emojis and pictures/vids of what he did in his classes and pics of how he decorated his apartment n yea. his lil bro came often to hang out with him there. a proper pest, y’all. jk.

the upside of having that apartment was that dal became a lot more sociable and started inviting pals over, having fun game nights, drinking and all... it was super handy when he was in relationships too, yk :)

when lil baby juno started going to college, he moved in with him too and brought his plants n a cat with him, so he no longer felt as detached in there~ he just squishes his bby brother with softness and makes him nice food n has a cat to cuddle with lots so that’s nice

during his stay at the witching academy he mastered his specialty which is psionic image projection !! it means he can materialize his or someone else’s dreams or thoughts using light particles !! he creates images n projections, but he can actually make them tactile too, tho that takes more power and effort

he has a pet goldfish called lucky #2 ( dont laugh at him, he loves talking about lucky #2 :( )

he had a pet goldfish called lucky but lucky wasnt that lucky n got eaten by juno’s cat :(

sometimes he can still feel lucky’s presence in the apartment

no joke he cried for 3 days straight n called in sick for work ( his dad’s crystal shop KBGNEJGF )

PERSONALITY:

he’s the cutest person you’ll ever meet

v soft and caring, always puts others before himself and his own needs

perhaps a living koala bear ?? he just wants to cuddle 24/7 n he’ll cry if you deny him of your attention

but at times he likes being alone in order to daydream and look at the moon n yk all of that poetic shit

he’s a hopeless romantic and sometimes his cheesy side gets sooo overwhelming ?? like, he can literally ANNOY the hell out of you with how loving he is.

he’s like glue. if he likes you, he’ll stick to your side and want to do EVERYTHING with you, you wont be able to get rid of him

too sappy at times ??

easily gets sad NGJESF be careful with your words around him, he’ll think about them and they’ll ring in his head even after 20 years

he gets stressed easily. one (1) thing could go slightly wrong and he’d be like. THATS IT MY WHOLE LIFE IS OVER. so uhm .. you could say he’s slightly dramatic.

spends his time watching romcoms n stupid documentaries

#haze:intro #im exhausted yall #this is waCK compared to jinhiens #but regardless ... plots pls

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vivalatoons · 6 years ago

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My Talk: TMNT 2012

Today, 6 years ago, a new TMNT series came into our lives again. Grab a slice of pizza and take a walk down memory lane in a TMNT 2012 reflection. Booyakasha!

During this time, I had finished watching all TMNT series (not including the live action one) and movies. There was one more series that I had to watch.

I admit, I was one of those people when I saw TMNT 2012. Yes, I complain that there was another TMNT reboot. I trashed and bashed it and stated this reboot is going to bomb hard. Understand this. I didn’t hear anything about TMNT 2012 till the year 2015. During that time, I saw bad reboots and Nickelodeon’s “great” cartoons. Seeing that this is a reboot on Nick, this was a recipe for disaster. People were saying that this reboot is better than Teen Titans Go, so I knew this version of TMNT wasn’t going to be horrible. What made me begin to watch the show was the cast of the Turtles and my Turtle nostalgia. I’ll get to that later, but I start to watch the CGI 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

January 11, 2016. I tried not to get attract to the show. I was excited to see these new Turtles, yet I had my doubts. After watching The Rise of the Turtles Part 1 and 2, I was instantly hook on these turtles. I hated myself for being against the reboot. These episodes were brilliant, and my Ninja Turtles love grow three sizes that day.

Flaws. Not every show is perfect, but there were some things that I didn’t enjoy in TMNT 2012. I didn’t like that some of the characters didn’t get their moment to shine at times. Some episodes were a waste of time, and could have been used to answer things TMNT hasn’t address. I also hate how the shippers would go full crazy when they see littlest of things when the ship does something. It got pretty annoying. My leader in blue would fall to the cliché of self sacrifice and going on crazy one man missions. I hated how Nickelodeon kept making random scheduling changes in season 5. This was a bad move in Nickelodeon, because fans missed something because of those random schedule changes and it was a marketing plan for PlayMates to sell those damn toys. Half of the season was pointless and the other half was awesome. Those flaws didn’t stop me from enjoying the series.

Characters. I don’t need to mention characters, but I’ll repeat myself again. Each TMNT series has the basic set of characters. There’s the Turtles, April, Casey, Splinter, Shredder, etc. Some characters are brought back from past TMNT series like Karai, Rocksteady, Bebop, Bishop, etc. In this series, there are some new characters like Tiger Claw, Fishface, Shinigami, and more. I love how the 2012 series have the Turtles be more like teenagers from other TMNT series. Some of the characters I find to be the best in this show.

Animation. 2012 TMNT uses CGI and a bit of 2D animation when it comes to flashbacks and storytelling. It’s weird at first. After awhile, it’s interesting to see. The CGI is incredible when the characters show emotions and action sequences. I’m impressed with the crew and their talents.

Voice cast. Oh yeah, my favorite part of this show. I said the voice cast is what made me decide to watch the show, and here’s why. The voice cast is outstanding and their voice director is Andrea Romano. This woman was a voice director for Batman: TAS, Teen Titans, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Voltron: Legendary Defender, etc. She’s a legend! Jason Biggs voiced Leo till season 2 episode 19, then Dominic Catrambone voiced Leo till the finale. Seth Green voiced Leonardo from season 3 till the end. Rob Paulsen, Sean Astin, and Greg Cipes voiced Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. Hoon Lee voiced Splinter. Kevin Michael Richardson voiced Shredder. Mae Whitman and Josh Peck voiced April and Casey. Kelly Hu and Gwendoline Yeo voiced Karai and Shinigami. There’s a ton of great voice actors including Eric Bauza, Nolan North, Clancy Brown, Phil LaMarr, Fred Tatasciore, J.B Smoove, David Tennant, Keith David, Corey Feldman, Tom Kenny, Roger Smith Craig, Charlie Murphy, Ashely Johnson, Minae Noji, Mark Hamill, Zelda Williams, and the list goes on and on. I adore the voice cast so much. All of them did a spectacular job.

How is it different from other TMNT series. The CGI is what tells them apart. Hamato Yoshi once lived in Japan with his wife and daughter. Tragedy stuck, and Yoshi goes to New York. One day, he gets four baby turtles. He bumped into someone, following him. Yoshi witness the men meeting, and decided to attack him. Yoshi defeats them, but a canister of mutagen splashes on Yoshi and the Turtles. Yoshi become a rat, and the turtles grew into little turtle tots. April, Casey, and Karai are teenagers in this reboot. The Kraang are a species of talking brain like creatures. Some references from the 1987 and 2003 series show up in this show from characters to arcs. It manages to be silly and dark at times, it’s a nice blend.

Ciro Nieli, Joshua Sternin, and J. R. Ventimilia. These wonderful people helped developed this remake. I thank them for being the right people to be in charge of this project. With great people running a reboot, it leads to the following.

TMNT 2012 is a great remake and best example of doing a reboot right. People can argue all they want about this version of TMNT, but you have to admit this…there was a lot effort put into this show. This show proves to that not all reboots are terrible. This series didn’t dumb down for kids. It manages to be a show for all ages to enjoy. Animation isn’t lazy, same for voice acting and writing. Ok, the writing had dip down at times, but most of the time it’s good. There is some heavy stuff in the show like violence, death, and more death. I enjoy how this show broke some boundaries at times, that makes the show more interesting and groundbreaking.

I’m always impressed about how this series turned out. It has a unique spin in animation, wonderful voice cast, and a perfect example of a good reboot. It really makes me happy that this series will be a part of TMNT universe. I praise the 2012 Turtles for making a few changes and still holds. It’s still the Turtles we all know and love. I still miss TMNT 2012. What I will remember about this version of Turtles is the character growth that the Turtles have. I saw Leonardo from being a nervous leader who doesn’t want to let his team down. He would make decisions and be the best leader ever. Donatello would have fail at times from his creations or inventions. He improves to himself and it helps others. Raphael is still our hothead turtle, but he learns not to his anger consumes him. Michelangelo was seen as a dumb turtle who cared about pizza and made jokes. In the end, he shows the bad guys what’s he made of and he’s not a turtle you don’t want to mess with. These turtles has wowed me and they are the best ninjas in the city of New York.

#my talk #long post #tmnt 2012

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silver-the-cat · 7 years ago

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Jack In Wonderland - Part 1 of God knows how many I’m gonna make

((Okay, so I saw that one Alice in Wonderland AU that @alexisdevil made with their absolutely awesome moodboards and the completely awesome art that has so far been made for it. So I decided to throw my hand in writing some kind of story about it. I’m completely sorry if this isn’t the best and I will not deny I’m still kind of working a few things out as I go along, but I’ve gotten most of it done and figured out. I am, however, kinda proud of how I started it and the fact that I actually finished it.

Anyways, enough with the rambly author notes stuff, let’s get into the main act! Hope you all enjoy!))

Falling, falling, falling. That’s all he could remember. Just him, falling through a deep, deep hole. He wasn’t even sure how he had gotten there. It was definitely an accident, he was sure of that much. But how? Where had the hole come from?

“But thank you guys so much for watching this video! If you liked it, PUNCH that like button in the face, LIKE A BOSS!”

Maybe he had been outside when it happened. Walking along before the earth suddenly crumbled underneath his feet, the ground swallowing him hole. No, no, that couldn’t be right. Holes don’t just randomly open up underneath people for no reason.

Maybe he had seen something while walking, an animal or a tiny glimmer of an object shining in between a tree and hole. Curious, he tried to peer in, only to lose his balance and tumble down. It seemed to be the most logical explanation, but he couldn’t be too sure.

“And high fives all around.”

How long had he been falling? It’s had to at least been hours by now. A part of him also refused to believe that a natural hole, a kind that would just normally happen in nature, would be this deep. If it was, clearly he would feel the temperature change. That, or be fried alive by the intense heat of the earth.

“But I will see all you dudes….”

The more he fell, the more he thought and wondered. Very quickly, he realized there was just this pounding right in the back of his head. It seemed to even twinge with every new thought, which would’ve made him flinch if he had any kind control over the rest of his body.

“IN THE NEXT VIDEO!”

The end of the fall came all too soon. The next thing he knew, the ground hit him hard. He couldn’t think after that, too distracted by the overwhelming pain in every single part of his body. A dull ache that spread quickly from his back to his legs and arms, creeping up his neck and finally reaching his head.

And with that came the blissful embrace of complete unconsciousness.

The very next thing he could remember vividly was just white.

Lying in a spotless white bed with fluffy white blankets with fancy patterns embroidered into the fabric. The patterns were all abstract, but he quickly realized a good chunk of them all had a heart hidden somewhere in the stitching. He raised himself onto his elbows, a bit surprised at the effort it took to complete such a simple action.

The rest of the room was just as white as the bed, with small little hearts all hidden in the moulding of the walls, or placed in giant pictures that sometimes even stretched from floor to ceiling. As for furniture, however, it seemed to be very sparse. All he could see between the bed’s curtains was a chair right next to a table and window, a wardrobe, and what, oddly enough, looked like a cart with different medical equipment still sitting on it. He even noticed with a twinge of horror that one of the tools was still tinged a dark reddish brown.

He instead stopped trying to focus on the room, narrowing his eyes as his mind worked rapidly. He could remember falling, wondering greatly about exactly how he had gotten into that mess and how deep that hole was, when he suddenly hit solid ground. After that, a complete blank.

“Absolutely wonderful…” He murmured, almost recoiling at the sound of his own voice. Hoarse and more quiet than usual, as if he hadn’t even used it in years. How long had he exactly even been out?

He took a couple moments to push himself up further, resting his back against the headboard of the bed for support while he put his face in his hands, breathing in deeply. Nothing was making any damn sense to him, one minute he was falling and the next, waking up in some bed with no clue as to how he had gotten there.

Just as he had said himself, absolutely wonderful.

Something suddenly broke him out of his thoughts. The sound of a door creaking open slowly, before quickly being pulled back and closed. He lowered his hands, quickly glancing around for the source of it. When he heard it again, he found out the door was literally right in front of him, almost invisible as it looked exactly like the wall did and it was hard to tell them apart at this distance. For a split second, he saw what looked like a head, slowly peeking out from behind it before pulling back in.

“Um….Hello? Is there someone there?” He called, raising his eyebrows slightly. The person behind the door seemed to finally gain enough courage, pushing the door open and stepping into the room.

It was a man, almost the same age as he was, wearing a pale gray sort of uniform with a small heart pinned just over where his real one would be. What he considered to be the most interesting part about this man was the fact that his uniform seemed slightly torn up, holes revealing deep red cuts littered across his body. This man even had a huge gash across his cheek, as if part of his mouth had been slashed open. He even moved across the room with a slight limp, his eyes having a kind of tired glaze over them. It was almost as if he had been raised from the dead.

“You….You awake now?” He said slowly, looking as if he was physically sounding out each word with hesitancy. “G...Good….Everyone getting worried…..I very worried…..king was worried too….”

“Erm….I guess I really appreciate that, but….I’m just a bit confused.” He replied, making the man tilt his head a small bit. “Who...exactly are you? And what the hell even happened?”

“Oh! Name is Robbie!” The man said, putting on a tired smile and raising one arm to his chest. “King said he made me to be rook….but not sure what that means. So I just stay here in castle.” He simply nodded, while Robbie nervously took a few steps closer in. “Um….is your turn now!”

“Uh….What? My turn?” He repeated, even pointing to himself as well.

“Yeah! I tell my name, you tell yours!” Robbie nodded. “It only fair. King taught me that it important to be fair, right?” He bit his lip slightly, silently agreeing to that.

“Sounds like this King guy knows a lot. Alright then, my name…” He finally said, earning the tiniest squeal of happiness from Robbie. “I’m….I’m Sean, but most people just call me Jack. You….also didn’t answer my question before. The second one.” Robbie only gave him a confused look, tilting his head again. “I don’t know how I got here, so I was kinda hoping that, well maybe, you had any idea?” Robbie’s entire face scrunched up slightly, making a few more scars visible from where Jack was at least.

“...Nuh-uh.” He finally said, shaking his head and putting his hands behind his back like a small child. “Only heard you were here from king and Angus. No clue how you got here, am really sorry.” Well, that figures. Jack thought, trying not to let him see his own disappointment. He opened his mouth to say something else, although he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say. However, Robbie suddenly gave a small jolt, glancing over his shoulder to the door. Footsteps sounded from the hallway outside, clicking against the floor loudly.

“Robbie! Is zhat you?” A voice still from outside the door, not too far away in fact, called, making the scarred man jump slightly. “I told you to stay out of zhere. I understand you’re curious and vorried, but I promise you have I everyzhing under control!”

“A-Am sorry! J-Just heard something a-and thought should go check!” Robbie cried, holding his hands up in defense and spinning around to face the door. Jack narrowed his eyes, trying to look around Robbie as the footsteps stopped just outside the door.

It was a new man, dressed in a white lab coat over a gilded vest and the palest blue sweater he had ever seen. A similar heart was pinned onto his chest, almost exactly like the one Robbie had. This new man also wore glasses, the frames a light gray with silvery vine-like decorations wrapping around them.

“Again, I understand you only vant to help and zhat you’re curious, but I need you to stay out of here.” The man said, adjusting his glasses slightly. “I have everyzhing completely under control, I promise. I just need you to….” He suddenly trailed off, mostly likely finally catching a glimpse of Jack, completely awake and sitting up even.

“Yeah….He awake! I thought heard something, so I go check only to find him awake!” Robbie quickly said, giving a small smile. “His name Sean, but people call him Jack! He seem nice, but he confused too!”

“Uh….I can still talk for myself?” Jack said a bit awkwardly, raising a hand slightly. The new man simply looked between both him and Robbie, before seemingly recollecting himself, taking a deep breath.

“Robbie, Angus is looking for you. He says he needs you on vatch.” He said simply. “I….need to speak vith….vhat did you say your name vas...er...Jack?” The only response he got was a nod from both Robbie and Jack, although Robbie looked certainly more upset than Jack did.

“Ok….but wanna see Jack again too!” Robbie complained, pouting as the man walked farther into the room. “Get to see him after watch, right?”

“Ja, ja, of course. Just get going before Angus comes himself.” The man said, waving it aside as he grabbed one of the chairs. Robbie looked excited, waving to Jack before he ran back out of the room and down the hall. “He really is quite zhe sveetheart, he vas vorried sick vhen ve had first found you.”

“I...could tell.” Jack replied, rubbing the back of his neck as the man pulled the chair closer to the bed. “He seemed like a good guy, even if he does look a bit….startling, if I’ll be completely honest.”

“Ah, yes. I tried my hardest to heal zhose vounds, but it’s razher hard to suture a scratch on a zombie.” The man laughed slightly, making Jack flinch back just a bit. At least that cleared up the mystery about the tools. “Anyvays, dreadfully sorry for how confusing zhis all must be. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Henrik von Schneeplestein, and zhis is zhe Vhite Hearts Kingdom.”

“White Hearts Kingdom….wait, what?” Jack repeated. “Listen, as far as I can remember, there’s literally no place or country on earth called the White Hearts Kingdom.” Schneeplestein only looked a bit confused, needing to look Jack up and down once more before realization suddenly flashed across his face.

“You said your name vas Sean, but most people still call you Jack, correct?” He asked, only to receive a nod. “Vell, it seems zhis is much more serious zhan I had zhought. For you to find a vay into Vonderland, and to end up completely unconscious upon entry vith multiple injuries as vell….zhis clearly can’t be a good sign….”

“Ex...cuse me? Would you mind explaining what the hell you just said for the people who don’t understand?” Jack said, making Schneeplestein jump slightly in response. “What did you just mean by ‘Wonderland’? Is this place just like that one story, like ‘Alice in Wonderland’?”

“I suppose. I’m not actually too sure on vhat zhis place even is.” Schneeplestein admitted with a small shoulder shrug. “But all zhat you really need to know is zhat a lot of people know you, specifically, around here. And...not exactly everyvone here is….as velcoming as eizher Robbie or I are.”

“Y’know, the way you said that, it sounded as if you had someone specific in mind.” Jack pointed out. “That is, if I just ignore the fact you told me that literally everyone here in wherever this place is knows exactly who I am despite the fact I have no clue what this place is.”

“A number of people….but only vone of zhem is actually zhreatening.” Schneeplestein said, seemingly ignoring his last comment. “However, I do not vant you to vorry about zhat just yet. In fact, I merely vant you to rest. You vere in terrible shape vhen I had found you.”

“Are you even gonna tell me what happened that ended with you bringing me here?” Jack asked, as Schneeplestein stood once more.

“In due time. I’m afraid it isn’t a very interesting story anyvays.” He said with a small smile. “I vill be back later, just rest up for now. I’m sure Robbie vill be back later, and he might even bring Angus vith him, who knows.” Jack couldn’t help but pout slightly, but still obeyed his orders. This man, despite the possibility that he had somehow managed to bring someone back from the dead, reminded him greatly of a doctor, which should’ve been a given considering the medical tools still left in the room. If there was anyone to order him to at least rest for a while, it would be him.

As Schneeplestein closed the door behind him, Jack felt himself growing tired. No matter how much he wanted to stay awake and just think everything over several times and try to piece everything together, he did admit he needed some kind of rest. A bit defeatedly, he laid back down and almost instantly fell asleep once more.

There would be time to think later.

“W̡̽ͪͭ̌̉Hͯ̂̉͘AŢͮͨͬ̄̌ͨ̚?̾̎̇̆̀͑ͪ!ͭͤ̔”

“T-T-That’s all I heard….H-He was f-f-found by the King of White H-Hearts…”

“I go through all the d̄̀̚͠a̡ͧ́ͬ͑̓m̓̀̑͢n͌̐̈́͂̔͜ ̒̆ͧt̴̋ŗ̑̊̂o̓͂̀uͩ̓ͤͮͩ̅b̿̓͐̀̃̚͜l̴̐e̢̊̅̅ͣ ̡̈́ͣͣ̓of̾́͌̓̅̉̇ br̒͆͂iͭͣ͐̅ͧn̉g̓̉̎̈̾̀̚íͦ̓̑n̎g͂̄ͧ͗ͬ̚͏ him here, just for that B͛̓Aͮ̅̏S̴̚T̶ͬ̇̔̉̐Ȁ̐͊̾̇̀Ȑ̔͌̈Dͫ decides to snatch him away?! D͛̃̊̽͂͝Aͩ͛ͥ͑͗͟ḾMͯͪ̑̅̽͑͑I̍̐͐̿̓͘Ť!!”

“I-I mean….i-i-it could always be just another rumor! M-M-Maybe he might be s-somewhere else in Wonderland!”

“Shut it. If the guards haven’t fͦ͊̒̆ͣͣ͞ǫ̐ųͮ̌̽̊̌͑͋n̿̚d̋ ̴̍̔ͬ̎̾̽͌h̅̌̃̓ͮ̕iͤͨ̉ͫ̋͂m͆̅̎͞ ̛͂̑ͣ̂y̡̓́̿̈́̀ͫë̎͢t̅̑̽̆̄ͮ̅, those Iͫ̆̌͆̍̕DI͊̔͌͌ͯOͭ͑̌ͦ͒̉ͧ͝TS̽̐̉ͨ̃͡ aren’t going to find him ever. I’m going to need to get c̐͌̾̀ͣre̷ͯ̔̆̃ă̓͒̀҉t̃͏iv̿̎͢e̾̉ͣ with this….“

“C-Creative? W-Wait….w-w-what are you going to….?”

“Oh mͩ͛e͛͆̅ͯş̇̎sͭ̏ͥ̑͑̏e̴̋ͬ̂̿̄̉ͧnͥͯ͒g̍̋͜e͐̽͋̉͟r̢̋̓ͣ ͠B̐ͬͭ̏Ǫ̔ͤ̔̇̎ͮY̨̑̈, I’m going to have quite the job for you! Open those ears of yours. I͟ ͊́n̐̌̉ͦ̚͜e̽̅ͣ̀e̋̃̅̒ͮͫd̢̒ͦ̈ ̢ͧa̸ͣͨͯ̎ ͯ̐̿͒ṗ̸ͣ͛̾ͬ͆u͒̅̾͛͐̃p̸ͪ̽̂͛ͮ̒̚pͥ̉̈ͮ̎ë́̍̋̈́t̀͛ͫͯ̐̑ ̌͑͒͒w͊ho͒̅̓͐͐̓'̂ͩs̴̚ ̈͂̌͐ͫͥ̿͜l͞ȋ̧̐ͫͨͫ̀̒s̃́t͂en̊̅͑͊͆ͥ̀̚ïͫ̿͗ͧ͗̚͘n͒̂̏̑́ͫͫg̋͆ͤͬ ̛͆̽ͩͤͪw͐ͨ̽̒ͫe̛ͧ̉ͪͯ͗̅l͜l̨̿ ̋͑͊̃ͥ͟a̓͌͂̃fͭ͂t̶͆̋ͦ̃̈̓͐eͣ̀r͂͑ͤͤ́̀́ ̈́̐͗ͤͦa̋ͬl̡̑̇̀̇ļ.”

((Ok, so I had a few things different than @alexisdevil has in their AU, specifically Robbie being the Dormmouse, but I kinda wrote this before they made that post so here we are. Again, this is such a super awesome AU and I just want to contribute in any way I can. So I hope you all enjoyed and, tbh whether or not more people want it, I’ll make more parts and possibly actually finish the story.

Also super sorry if my writing turned to absolute crap towards the end, I wrote this over the span of 2 days with school and several brain farts and minor cases of writer’s block getting in the way. But still, I hope you all enjoyed! Buh-bye!))

#jacksepticeye #alice in wonderland au #jse egos #writing thing #jack in wonderland au #fanfiction I guess?#feedback appreciated

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escapewithmewzic · 6 years ago

Text

Week 7:Twitter’s susceptibility to trolls and hate

Troll??

Troll in the social media world means a person who creates discord or conflict on the Internet by posting messages that are controversial and provocative in order to start fights or evoke emotional response from people on the Internet or in simple words,to offend them. Yes it is unfortunate that this kind of terrible people exist. #sadfactoflife .However,to make things worse,the Internet has provided these people the platform to spread hate and malice easier, with almost no consequences in the real world.

If you’re an active social media user, chances are that you’ve experienced trolling in one way or another.

Trollers and the rest of the fandom argue that the insults,threats or provocations are merely forms of mischief and humour and emphasizes on the freedom of speech but for many,the personal nature and the ferocity of the abuse verges on hate speech.Given the right to free speech does not mean you should do it.

Trolling in its extreme form can be a criminal offence. Sean Duffy posted offensive videos and messages on tribute pages on young people who died and one of his unfortunate target was Natasha MacBryde, a 15 year old who was killed by a train. One of his insensitive and thoughtless messages he left on the Facebook page was ‘I fell asleep on the track lolz”.The consequences for being an insensitive idiot : he was jailed for 18 weeks.

Unlike the trolls you see in fairy tales, trolls on social media lurks in the open instead of under bridges or in caves, they wait for the best time to come out with every keystroke,striving to provoke and incite hatred.

According to a research done on comments on CNN, there are two major factors that influences people to troll and the first factor is a person’s mood. It was found that people who were in negative moods were much more likely to troll and this is in sync with the mood patterns of humans which ebbs and flows with the day of week and time of day.

The research shows that trolling happens least frequently in the morning and most frequent late at night. It does not stop there but the heights of trolling is at its most frequent on Mondays.

A discussion’s context is the second factor. I’m sure all of you agrees with this or may have seen this “banter” happening on Facebook or Twitter. Posts that begins with a “troll comment” are more likely to be joined by other users compared to posts that does not begin with such comments. Not only that, the more troll comments there are, it attracts more and more troll comments from users. Trollolol.

It was possible to forecast when a person is going to troll approximately 80% of the time by using machine learning algorithms.The two factors put together is a much stronger indicator of trolling compared to pointing out specific individuals as trolls. Basically,trolling occurs more due to the influence of nurture which relates to the person’s environment compared to any inherent trait.

Ordinary people like me and you *winks* can also be influenced to troll as such behaviour can rub on others.It is due to the emotional response to such comments perhaps written by someone who woke up on the wrong side of the bed leading to comments that reacts towards it and end up having heaps and heaps of troll comments! *tragic*

If such behaviour is left unchecked, trolling can end up becoming the norm in the society.Predicting when trolling will happen can be done better by understanding possible factors that leads to such act.

However, it is vital that we know how to differentiate a troll comment and a comment from someone who just need some help in communicating their ideas better.

The findings of a study shows that high percentage of online abuse happens on Twitter and this is probably due to the anonymity of the platform when compared to other social network sites like Facebook which require users to present their real identity.A study done on 134,000 abusive mentions on social media showed that 88% of them happens on Twitter and the remaining small percentage happened on Facebook and other sites(Edwards 2015).

A British TV host Sue Perkins, quit Twitter after receiving death threats due to other people’s opinion that she might be a good replacement on Top Gear in place of Jeremy Clarkson.This occurrence of famous people leaving Twitter due to death threats happens very often and the stats of it happening on Twitter compared to Facebook is just beyond words!

I’m sure the question that pops up is why does Twitter face this problem and Facebook does not?It is related to “real identity” where other social network sites require you to show who you really are and this does not really work on Twitter especially.Anybody can sign up with a fake name and an anonymous email address.A trend I find on Twitter are accounts created with a famous person’s name and the content are filled with disses and spiteful comments and so called “banters”.

Facebook prevails when it comes to troll removal. Even though all platforms allow a person to report behaviours that are abusive,Facebook’s follow up is the strongest. You have full control over the comments on your Facebook page where a deleted comment will be vanished from everybody’s eyes unless the troll decided to repeat the same thing. Accounts that are created with fake names or accounts created for the sake of harassing purposes are taken down quickly.I’ve experienced an imposter of myself messaging my friends for a verification code and my friends and I reported the account and in a few minutes,the account was immediately removed!

Trolls value anonymity and seldom confirm their emails or phone numbers and they tend to use the default photo on Twitter which was formerly the famous egg icon.The egg icon was dropped as it has become heavily associated with online abuse which is not fair to those genuine users who are new and have not selected their profile photo.Accounts created to harass others are often not personalized as they don’t really have the time to.However, you can exclude these trolls from your feed by simply going to the Privacy section and select Notifications and mute people who uses a default photo and users who hasn’t confirm their phone number or email.With just a few clicks,you can change your feed from being exposed to all the toxicity.Yes they are still roaming free but why would you care if you can’t see them. Ignorance is bliss. *sometimes*

Twitter is making changes to address abuse and malicious automated accounts in the face of criticism it doesn't do enough to curb harassment and manipulation on its service.

Each week,there has been a dramatic rise in the creation of spam or automated accounts on Twitter. Nearly 10 million potential fake or spam accounts were created weekly, identified by Twitter’s machine learning tools.This is an increase of 3.2 million in September.

Twitter announced new rules where users who wants to join Twitter are required to either confirm a phone number or an email address when signing up on Twitter.Twitter hopes to reduce spam accounts’ visibility by removing their accounts from engagement counts and follower figures unless they confirm their identity(Musil 2018).

Jack Dorsey,Twitter’s CEO asked users for recommendations on how to fix the platform after recognizing that Twitter can be extremely toxic and that his team and he had underestimated the consequences it can have in the real-world. He recognized and has witnessed harassments,abuse,armies of trolls, manipulations and divisive echo chambers that are increasing.

Particularly over the past few years, Twitter takes the center stage for various abuse such as death threats, attack mobs, revenge porn and privacy violations.

Some ways to handle trolls :-

1)Handle them with humour

IMO, humour is the best weapon a person can have! By making light of a troll’s tweet, you’re basically acknowledging and defusing the situation simultaneously.

A grocery chain in the UK, Sainsbury’s, responded to a criticism regarding their chicken sandwich in a lighthearted manner and their response is top class.What’s important here is they did not ignore the customer’s tweet.They apologized,recognized the problem and replied in a witty manner.They managed to turn a criticism into an engagement opportunity.

2) Feed them with facts

A way to debunk trolls and their ‘tales’ is with facts and ‘tales’ here can include rumours and posts with false information or inaccuracies. Do you guys remember when Apple released the iPhone 6 and there were posts and rumours about it bending in your pocket?Thus the birth of the hashtag #bendgate with a lot of trolling on the side.

Many trolls lurking in the Internet was very creative about it and inspired to post their version of it.

Apple took a stand and responded to the criticisms by admitting that it could bend but wouldn’t normally happen with normal use.(obviously anything can bend/break with such force that you don’t usually do to a phone LMAO) #BendGate turns out to be a much ado about almost nothing and Apple received only 9 complaints and openly shared the stats. Addressing the issue head-on was Apple’s tactic to stop further controversies(Rampton 2015).

P.S. I personally think the best way is to just ignore the trolls.

References

Edwards, J 2015, ‘One statistic shows that Twitter has a fundamental problem Facebook solved years ago’, Business Insider, 17 April, viewed 23 October 2018, <http://uk.businessinsider.com/statistics-on-twitter-abuse-rape-death-threats-and-trolls-2015-4/?IR=T>.

Musil, S 2018, ‘Twitter ramps up effort to combat abusive bots,trolls’, CNET, 26 June, viewed 23 October 2018, <https://www.cnet.com/news/twitter-ramps-up-effort-to-combat-abusive-bots-trolls/>.

Rampton, J 2015, ’10 tips to dealing with trolls’, Forbes, 9 April, viewed 22 October 2018, <https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnrampton/2015/04/09/10-tips-to-dealing-with-trolls/#1b4703bf54f4>.

#mda20009 #week7 #trolls #trolling

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rantingstories · 6 years ago

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I woke up at 5am, drove to a local hill and read my book. How did it affect my day?

I use to wake up at 7am, eat straight away, sleep for half an hour and be late for work

Hellewwww. So, I would like to discuss a concept probably foreign to a lot of us, and that is productivity in the mornings. I think the general consensus for mornings is; wake up, turn the alarm off, lay there being miserable about our inevitable rise from the bed, literally fall back asleep like you don’t even need wages because you got the rent fairy to help you out, turn the alarm off, after laughing at the wage fairy thing become miserable again, tiny ‘lil pep talk, and rise. Usually, the mornings are for being sluggish, letting your body adjust and rest at the same time. You would eat your food and watch some TV or look on your phone, until it’s time to get ready for work or school. I feel this is the default morning of most people. My mornings have always been a little lazier and more shameful then that!

Typically, I would give myself an hour and 9 minutes. I’d have to leave at 8:15 so I would get up at 7:06 because sleep minutes are more like hours when you feel you’re losing them and 6 more minutes in bed felt like a lot to me. Then I would sluggishly walk to the kitchen and feed my two cats who would be bountiful balls of energy, making me a mere shell of a person in their presence. I would then make any cereal I can find and sit on the couch watching TV or looking through my phone as I ate. I wouldn’t really have time for a cooked breakfast or tea because here comes the important bit; I lay sleep, on the couch, for half an hour, as my partner lays in bed. Why? Glad you asked J I have no clueL. For me, being awake whilst in bed is fantastic because I can actually feel the pleasure of just lying there and letting my mind drift. I’m conscious to know I’m snuggly in bed and that’s a great feeling. So for me, I actually like my body being awake. That’s the reason I lay on the couch, much to my fiancés dismay that I would rather lay alone on the couch where the cats walk all over me and crush my ribs, their wet noses tapping my skin as they examine what the hell I think I’m doing with my life, then in her arms in our warm bed. I lay there merrily, thinking about nice happy things, body at rest, mind adrift, milk getting sneakily licked from my cereal bowl by those assholes as I lay careless and oblivious in my own warm bubble of rest and contentment. This is also subliminally stressful as I have to remember to get up at eight and each morning, my drifting mind lives in secret fear and sheer panic that I’ll properly fall asleep and be awoken at like 8:15 by my ashamed partner. Nonetheless, I always get up because I don’t actually sleep, I just lay there, pointlessly. Let’s think about what can be done in half an hour?

ü A workout session

ü Reading a book

ü Applying for jobs

ü Answering emails

ü A walk with fresh air

ü A shower

ü Putting effort into your make up, hair and outfit

ü Chores that you now don’t have to come home to

ü Making your partner breakfast

ü Watching EastEnders whilst washing up

You can get a lot done in that space of time so why was I just lying there, not even sleeping? It was pointless and I decided to change it, to explore the enigmatic world that rapidly progresses as we lie half dead asleep. The World of the Larks. The Larks are strange beings, they do the equivalent of half a day’s work a night owl does, in the two or three hours you’re still asleep. They are powerful and their motivation and strength should be feared or stolen from them when you get the chance. I decided this morning, I would try it. I spent a week, a few years ago, jogging at 6am. It was winter, dark, everyone at the bus stop looked like lonely orphans in any film designed to tug on your heart strings, and it didn’t appeal to me. However it’s the penultimate month of summer now, so I thought it would be different.

The hardest part already was the night before. Using my valuable, precious, beautiful time in evenings to actually be asleep by 10pm. I was devastated. I typically have so much damn fun in the evening, writing ideas for my 27 open novels, being too devoted to Bored Panda, Facebooking drama watching, TV, shouting “CUTENESS” at my cats, then I’ll go to bed at the ridiculous hour of about half 11, 12 or even 1! I’d fall asleep straight away and then repeat the aforementioned cycle of the 7:06 start. It sounds dreadfully unproductive and like a stereotypical uni student really. Like I would have lived when I was working till 10pm then at uni at like 10 or 2am. But this isn’t fun times anymore, I have a big girl job with a big girl flat and a big girl life and car insurance. It’s time to behave like a big productive girl who organises her life in diaries and budgets. So now we’re in the morning and I sort of woke up at 4:48am, my brain obviously pre-empting its doom. Then 5am hit. I took some advice from videos I had watched to prepare for this and I charged my phone in the hallway outside my door. That way, to shut off the noise, I had to get up, walk out to the hall and crouch down, giving my knees a workout already to switch it off. My partner decided to do this experiment with me, but left her phone on the nightstand, showing clear signs that her heart wasn’t in this, but she came with me and I feel so very proud. Her names Ashleigh by the way. Anyway, so I used the time to respond to some messages, they had built up because I didn’t use my phone half an hour before bed the previous night, another tip I picked up. The break from the screens will really do me good. It will help my eyes and my concentration levels. My eye lids won’t be lower, looking down at the phone, which helps with the eyes feeling lighter and me feeling more awake.

I was also surprised with how awake I actually felt. I find this happens every time I wake up before 7am, I always feel more awake then when I wake up after 7am. It’s odd but it’s true. Your body feels a bit weaker rather than just sluggish, but your eyes and mind are awake, like this is the time they are meant to be up all along and you’ve been over sleeping them. I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone else, but always been like this for me. So we woke up and had some grapes and water. I’m the type of person who could honestly eat KFC and drink coke, 5 minutes after waking up. Ashleigh could barely look at the grapes. 2 hours before their breakfast time, and the cats thought we were tired enough to forget and feed them early. Suckers! So then we left in her car and we drove to these hills near our flat, you climb them in a twisting motion and they overlook a beautiful canvas under the blue skies’ light of cars racing down the motorway, dull brown house roofs and Greater London pollution. Once we reached the precipice, we found our journey up had consisted of talks of the mind, how it copes with waking up early, how being productive actually boosts our serotonin levels and how we feel happier and more alive. So smarter conversation was happening. In our normal routine, the only conversation we’d get in the morning is what’s happening on Facebook or… nothing. It felt great to have an in depth conversation with nothing but the breeze around us, no screens no third party media to influence our conversations, just us, our minds and the world. It was lovely.

At the top, it took a minor toll on our legs. Let me tell you by the way, your legs at 5am are the equivalent to the little devil on your shoulder who tells you, you won’t get a degree because you’re useless at life or you won’t ever find a career you love just lower your standards or you won’t feel in the slightest horrible if you spend over £20 on a pizza delivery at 11pm on a week night. They don’t like 5am and they will remind you you’re a sadist and to have mercy and send them to bed. Ignore them, they are the over dramatic one in the family. Nonetheless, we sat down at the top and began to read our respective books. Mine was “The Good Guy” (Susan Beale), set in 1964, a realistic view on marriage, its ups and downs, the pressures on the typical masculine and feminine roles, motherhood and adultery, and hers was “I Let You Go” (Claire Mackintosh), how one mistake, brought on by pressurising and damaging events, can turn life upside down, with thrills and chases and emotions tugged hard. We only read a chapter each, but as everyone knows, books nourish your eyes better than a screen will, they nourish your imagination, forcing it to work to picture what you read rather than it being given to you, they nourish your vocabulary and extend it and they nourish your mood for the day with the journey you take when reading it, leaving you picturing your own world and story with more passion and thoughtfulness.

We descended the hill (and I ran up another, sorry legs L I am a bit heartless) and made our way home. She cooked us an omelettes and I washed up meaning, we will come home to a clean and tidy flat with no chores after a long day at work. We had tea and coffee, ate our food, shouted “CUTENESS” at the cats for a 37th time, and watched the YouTube Video that inspired this. I will link it down below. When we looked at the time it was 5 minutes to 8. I still had 5 minutes and I felt like I’d done my whole usual morning up until lunch time.

This experiment really did change my day, I feel brighter and more awake at work, driving to work made me feel more conscious and thus, safer. My morning was accomplished and productive, I felt like I had a much better handle on my life. We saw people jogging, people exercising, couples doing yoga at the top of the hill, and the enigmatic world of morning larks turned out to be a nice peaceful group of people exercising, nourishing their minds and bodies, leaving them free to relax in the evening. My partner and I both feel rejuvenated, in control, happier, fresher, lighter, healthier and less stressed immediately. I even got a text about something that had been stressing me and I swear it felt so much lighter on my shoulders, in fact it went straight over my head because I felt happy and in control of life, not down trodden and rushing to get to work. I suggest you all spend at least one day waking up at 5am, I promise you, you will not feel as over tired as you think you will, you’ll even feel more awake than usual, or your money back! It’s still, sort of summer, so leave the house, and go on a small walk or read a book, climb a hill and kiss the rising sun, do anything as long as it’s doing something productive. Then cook a hot breakfast and feel proud of your strength and your beautiful, accomplished morning. I do not miss my beautifully pointless naps and my hobby of running red lights because I’m late for work.

Mentioned YouTube video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGWrGFlYtAQ

Thank you

Siobhan

#blogging #writing #writersblog #tumblr blog #productivity #earlymornings #5am #5amclub #thought #opinions #inspiration #youtubeinspo #happy #motivated #motivationalpost

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hoodoo12 · 7 years ago

Text

The Boy in Blue

People have asked for some more of Cop Rick. How could I decline?

You know the sound of a portal. And you just heard one, but you can’t find it.

Rick had told you to be ready tonight and you’d been waiting for him. But the hours passed and it was looking like—typical, the asshole!—he stood you up again. Then came the unmistakable pulling sound and you looked around expectantly, but no swirling oval of greens and yellows erupted in the room. There was no evidence of one in any of the rooms of your flat—not large, by any means, just the living/dining/kitchen area, your bedroom, and bathroom.

After completing a circuit of your small living space you stood in the middle of the living area, perplexed.

There was a knock on your door.

What the—?

You went to it, made sure the chain is still attached, and cautiously opened it to peer out.

Rick was there. Cop Rick. The one from the city your Rick abandoned you at. He’s out of uniform, but you recognize him.

What the—?

He smiled, ran a hand over the back of his neck, and said,

“H-hey. You, uh . . . you forgot your toothbrush.”

It took you a few excruciatingly long seconds to fumble the chain lock open. You’re shaking. Why are you shaking?

Finally you’re able to open the door and stand there, dumbfounded. “Officer Sanchez! Hi!”

“Hi,” he replied. “Is this an okay time? Can-can I come in?”

“What? Oh, yes! Please! Come in!”

You stood back so he can enter. You wish you hadn’t been lazy today. You should have straightened the place up! There are books scattered everywhere and dirty dishes on the end table—holy crap, you left a trail of dirty laundry from your bathroom to your bedroom when you disrobed to go to bed last night! Normally you wouldn’t care, because Rick—the Rick you knew best, from your dimension—doesn’t care either, but now, with Officer Sanchez here, unannounced and unexpectedly, you’re embarrassed.

Or maybe you’re blushing and feel hot because he is standing so close . . .

You said, “I didn’t expect you to show up—“

And he said, “I’m sorry to drop in like this—“

—at the same time.

It made you both stop, and apologize, and try again. It repeated. Then you’re laughing, and he looked amused. After a moment, giving you the opportunity to speak that you don’t take, Rick said,

“I didn’t mean to just show up, but . . . well, here I am, I guess. You gave me your address and dimension, remember?”

He asked like maybe you didn’t remember, or maybe you did it out of some weird social obligation and you never expected him to actually show up where you live.

“No, I remember!” you reassured him, putting a hand on his arm. “I’m glad you did! It’s nice to see you again!”

“You look so nice. Like you’re ready to go out. I didn’t mean to wreck your evening, I just wanted to drop off your toothbrush . . .” his voice trailed off.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told him.

You had dressed a little more nicely than normal: a short skirt and button down blouse, plus the garter belt and stockings because they made you feel daring. And you’d put on some makeup; occasionally Rick had scoffed at the amount of time you took to apply it, but you liked upswept winged eye liner and darker lipstick. But your Rick wasn’t here, the asshole, so you were glad to have someone appreciate the effort.

“Come on, Officer. Sit down.”

Awkwardly he handed you the toothbrush you’d left at his place. You took it to your bathroom, kicking at your dirty clothes in what you hope is an inconspicuous way as you called over your shoulder,

“Seriously! Just sit anywhere! Give me one second—“

In the bathroom, out of his sight, you do a quick once-over in the mirror. No lipstick on your teeth, check. Hair okay? Check. You dug into the front of your shirt, grabbed your boobs, and adjusted them so there’s more cleavage. You also readjust your thong so it’s less uncomfortable, then go back to where he is.

Rick hadn’t sat down. He’s examining the photos you have tacked to your walls, mostly cheap prints of sunrises and canyons. He turned back to you as you enter.

“Would you like something to drink?” you asked. “I have vodka and gin and I think there’s some red wine . . .”

“I’m not on duty, so . . . a vodka and soda would be nice.”

Vodka and soda. Typically you’d just set the bottle of pure alcohol in front of your Rick. This guy was fancy.

“Officer, I have to insist! Sit down!”

“Don’t call me Officer,” he replied. “Just Rick is fine.”

You waved him off and agreed. He finally took a seat on your couch while you bustled and poured out two drinks. Carrying them back to him, you sipped from yours as you handed his over, then sat down next to him, curling one leg under you. Your skirt rode up as you do, but you don’t rearrange it.

“So . . . how are things on the . . .” You searched for the word. “. . . Citadel?” There. That was a strong opening gambit.

Cop Rick told you a little about his job, which lead to a more in-depth explanation of what the Citadel is—your Rick refused to elaborate, even after stranding you there, blowing off your questions in annoyance. Rick, in turn, asked about you and your employment, and you told him some not-quite-superficial, not-quite intimate details about yourself.

Most times you hate small talk, but you’re genuinely interested in what he has to say. He’s attentive to you too. It’s comfortable and he’s easy to talk to. Most of the way through your third vodka and soda—he’s on his second—you asked him how he got here. Didn’t he say he didn’t have a portal gun?

Rick nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I got a temporary permit for . . . well, for seeing you.”

“That’s so nice!” you gushed, and draped your leg over his lap. “If I’d known you were planning on coming over, I would have made dinner. I would have fancied myself up for you!”

You were only a little tipsy, you told yourself.

He chuckled. You watched over the top of your glass as he started to put a hand on your knee, hesitated, then committed to the movement. His palm was warm. You took another swallow of your drink.

“You look v-v-very n-nice,” he told you. “I don’t think you’d n-need to get fancier for me.”

“Mmm, you’re sweet. The only other time you saw me I was wearing shabby shorts and a see-through tee-shirt—“

“It wasn’t quite see-through,” he interrupted in a mumble, and you gave him a smile.

“—like I said, you’re sweet. Did you like that better? Is this too much for you? Some guys don’t like a lot of make up or girly clothing, they like more natural and comfortable stuff. You know? What do you prefer?”

Oh lordy lou, were you babbling? The butterflies in your stomach had left; what was this, now?

You stretched your leg out a little, pointing your toes. The movement hiked your skirt a little bit more, and the top of the stockings on that leg was visible now. Very coquettishly, you lifted the hem of your skirt just a smidge more, to showcase your garter straps.

“Is what I’m wearing now okay? Or is it too complicated, Rick?”

Who were you?

You watched his throat contract as he swallows. You also don’t miss his eyes tracking the movement of your fingers as they played with the edge of your skirt. Daring to take it a little further, you traced the lace of the stocking with a finger.

“It’s . . . it’s not t-too complicated,” he answered, after licking his lips like they’re dry. “I-I think . . .”

He pulled his gaze away from your thigh and looked you in the eye.

“You’re very pretty,” he said, with no stutter.

“Thank you!” You’re sincere in the appreciation; your Rick doesn’t say things like that to you. You sat up a little, leaning your torso towards him. You took his mostly empty glass and set it, with yours, on the coffee table.

“I hope you don’t think-I hope I wasn’t too forward, just showing up,” he continued.

“I don’t,” you told him, moving even closer to him.

“It’s rude, I s-should have contacted you,” he insisted on saying. He licked his lips again.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You tilted your head a little.

“I j-just, I couldn’t stop thinking about, about you—“

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either.”

“—is this okay? Are you sure? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want—“

You silenced him with a kiss. This seemed to be a developing theme between you two.

All his hesitation melted away, though, when your tongue searched for his. He’s still gentle but there’s an underlying current of need and desire. He pushed against you, and his hand, the one on your knee, slipped smoothly up your stocking-clad leg, to the lace top. He dug his fingers a little under the edge of the elastic.

You hold him by his neck and jaw and fell back as you kiss him, pulling him down with you between your legs. You half expected him to resist, but he let you manipulate him. His hand goes further up your skirt and encounters your panties. He gave them a little snap, and it made you jump, and giggle.

He smiled too, through another kiss. You shift a little, under him, and wrap your legs over the backs of his thighs.

“You’re sure . . .?” he can’t seem to help repeat.

Obviously you’re going to have to be direct with him. You pulled back a bit and looked at him directly.

When he’s truly paying attention, you told him seriously, “Rick Sanchez, I want you to fuck me.”

A breath hitched in his throat and a blush crept over his cheeks. He searched your face one last time as if to verify you’re not lying, joking, or somehow under a spell that makes you say only the opposite of what you want. Finding none of those, a new grin lifted one side of his mouth. With a laugh that sounds like pure joy, he kissed you again and again.

Your first night together—truly together, intimately together—was giggly and not too serious, which helped smooth over typical first-time-doing-this awkwardness. Rick uncovered a highly guarded secret—you were ticklish when the right amount of breath was whispered into your ear—and you discovered he used the word fuck as an encouragement and praise as you went down on him.

He fumbled a bit with the straps and closures of your undergarments, like he’d never quite dealt with something like that. In return you didn’t say anything about never having been with an uncircumcised man before, or that you weren’t quite sure if there was something you should do differently because of it.

You just did what you knew, and it worked out fine. Rick’s hands became adept quickly and found just the right spots to caress and pinch and stroke, and he never hesitated to kiss you anywhere.

His body is mostly familiar to you—lean, each spinal process evident—but he’s more toned than you expected, and in between licking and kissing, your fingers found something unique. They tracked the map of the scar on his shoulder that you’d previously felt under his shirt, but had never seen.

At the end the exploration and foreplay culminated in him asking if you had a condom. He fretted he wasn’t prepared, and confessed he hadn’t actually expected it to go this far . . . you kissed him soundly, told him you were on birth control and were disease free. He admitted he was too, that the clinics on the Citadel were pretty forward about making sure every Rick didn’t carry anything—you kissed him again to shut him up.

You told him any position he wanted would be fine with you. You were happy to let him be behind you, if that’s what would be best for him. In your experience, guys liked the position.

But Rick told you no, he’d rather be able to see your face, and he guided you back on the bed before settling between your legs. Although he kept his eyes closed at his first push into you, he opened them to watch you like he said, finding your mouth occasionally while you moaned during each thrust.

He was slow and deliberate and occasionally paused deep inside you with a closed-eyed look of concentration on his face so he didn’t come too quickly.

You tilted your hips and reached behind you head to steady yourself by holding the headboard. Rick didn’t alter his pace, but the slight shifting of your position tipped him just enough to make pleasure spark through you even more. You locked your legs tightly around his waist and tensed in your core as you orgasmed.

He gave you a moment; you were able to see his softer, satisfied smile through half-closed eyes, then you urged him to continue.

It wasn’t much longer or much more movement before his pleasure peaked too. Buried deep in you, he came with a groan. He shuddered and gasped and stayed immobile for a long moment, still inside you, while you pressed kisses to the side of his head and scratched long lines lightly over his shoulders.

Finally he groaned again and eased himself back away from you, and sank down beside you on the bed.

You sat up and rummaged a moment to pull the sheets and blanket up over the two of you, which you hoped signaled to Rick that you expected him to spend the night. Then you cuddled into his side.

You whispered, “Thanks.”

He picked up his head.

“You may not thank me in the morning.”

The blunt statement startled you.

His continued grim tone was worrisome. “I s-sleep in the middle of the bed, all sprawled out. You’re not going to get any-any of the blankets, and you’re going to wake up cold and cramped from the awkward position.

“Just so you know,” he finished with an indifferent shrug.

You tried to match his level of seriousness, but couldn’t.

“So you don’t think I can hold my own, even while sleeping?” you demanded. Your voice broke as you struggled not to giggle at the end.

Rick gazed at you solemnly for another moment, as if disapproving of your reluctance to take this matter seriously, then broke into a grin himself.

“I’d expect nothing less!” he admitted, and draped himself over you to kiss you again.

It took a bit of time for you both to settle, stop laughing, and drift into sleep.

You made a point of thanking him again the next morning. Rick snorted and rolled on top of you, which dissolved into an under the blankets wrestling match that you didn’t fight too hard to win. You did anyway. Rick, pinned under you, relaxed with his hands tucked under his head, looked smug.

You could only roll your eyes and nipped at his chest—no one looked smug fending off a bite! Rick then asked if he could take a shower.

You told him of course he could, then gallantly offered to join him.

He didn’t decline.

Under the spray of water, soap-slick and warm, the only comfortable position in the stall was for Rick to be behind you. Although you didn’t come this time, you were more than satisfied that he did. Between gasps to catch his breath, he promised to make it up to you.

You kissed him and told him you’d hold him to it.

Breakfast wasn’t much: orange juice and pancakes from a boxed mix.

He didn’t seem to be able to stop touching you: brushing your hair out of your face, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers over the top of your hand.

Once again, the conversation was comfortable. You asked about his family and grandson; he told you didn’t have one, but that he had had Morty partner for a while, then . . . he left it at that and you were able to infer he didn’t have the same background as other Ricks. It was getting easier to comprehend the idea of infinite dimensions.

Finally, though, he glanced at the clock on your stove and his face fell. Quietly, he told you he was going to have to go.

“It’s-it’s the temporary permit,” he said apologetically. “I voluntarily gave up my—handed in my portal gun when I became a Citadel citizen, and when they first reissue a new one, it’s only good for f-fifteen hours. To make sure you’re coming back. The price of citizenship, I guess.”

“What if I hadn’t been here? What would you have done?” you asked.

Rick shrugged. “A couple of Ricks at the station told me about a bar that’s supposed to be Rick-friendly. I might’ve tried it. Or maybe I would have just-just stayed outside your door, till you came back.”

He stood up, and you copy him. He offered you a hand, which you took, so he could pull you closer. He kissed you, long and slow and sweet. Your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest.

When it’s done, you looked up at him and said, “Thanks for bringing back my toothbrush.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And you don’t have to leave anything here as an excuse to come back,” you added coyly.

That blush inched up his face again. You liked it; it was cute. He nodded.

With another quick kiss, he reluctantly stepped away, then found his portal gun, conjured the swirling mass of color in your wall, and walked through. You waved a little to him as he disappeared.

Standing in your now silent flat, you’re happy “your Rick” stood you up last night.

Then it occurred to you that maybe you should rethink who “your Rick” was.

fin.

#rick and morty #cop rick #rick and reader #fanfic #fan fic #Cop Rick/reader #the Long Arm of the Law series

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wherespacepooh · 7 years ago

Text

Shae-lynn Bourne Interview at Y.H. 2017-18 Media Day

(Shae-lynn and Yuzuru’s ema at Seimei Shrine. Photo cr. misayuzulove@twi)

...I get goosebumps. He has a connection with the music and moves freely. He does everything, believing in what I say. He makes the process of choreography a really beautiful thing for me. ––– S.L.B.

Told from Shae-lynn Bourne’s perspective, a glimpse into Yuzuru the skater and Yuzuru the person. She also talks about choreographing for him and with him, and the bond they’ve forged. With her instinct to connect with both music and people, it’s clear how she and Yuzuru make a killer team. Alternatively––SLB is such a romantic (in the best way possible). She made the jump landings in SEIMEI 2 really hard. She confirms he grew taller. - Gladi :P

SLB spoke with the press on Day 1 of the 2017-18 Season Media Day. The 15-minute interview in its almost-entirety was edited by Figure Skate Magazine (B.B.Mook 1383). Repeated QA’s were omitted.

Translated by gladi. Please do not repost without permission. Photos below were taken by Ryosuke Menjyu and belong to B.B.Mook.

A new SEIMEI with increased charm The year of reaching new heights

Although SEIMEI isn’t a completely new program, we’ve made modifications and added new appeal. It’s an improved, new SEIMEI. Of course the order of the elements has changed, so have the entries and difficulty of the elements, as well as the level of the content. It is Version 2, so to speak. I think this will become the final version.

I believe it was about a month after the World Championships. I wrote a message suggesting, “How about skating to SEIMEI?” I thought it was such a perfect fit for the Olympics. Afterwards, I was very glad when I learned of his choice. I think it is the right plan.

I have always been deeply impressed by his performance. It is not a simple thing. Winning the Olympics and still continuing to grow even now, four years later. Winning a medal––while it’s normal to think that is enough, [Yuzu] has lifted limits and pushed boundaries. I think he has raised the entire sport. The level of competition has gone up considerably since he spurred the other men into action. At the 2015-16 season's NHK Trophy, he lit a fire in the people who saw his performance. After that, it was the Grand Prix Final. Everyone was thinking, “Surely, such a feat can no longer be accomplished.” But, with even better performances, he rewrote the record once again. He brought power to his skate and obliterated his limits. I believe that was what lit the fires in his rivals. Compared to the past, everyone, myself included, has become more excited when we watch skating. I am deeply moved by his unrelenting efforts to keep growing, even in mental strength.

I wasn’t able to see his performance live at Helsinki. I wanted to see it though. Since it’s completely different from watching it on the television or on video sites. But, I was so proud, and very happy. Last year, we created a program that was technically very difficult. I think he felt a need to push himself on. And then he carried it through. So this year, he knows he can do it. He jumps perfect quads, right? Artistically too, he is advancing. He continues to mature. It’s like he is riding on an upward current, I think this will be the year [when he is really ready to reach new heights].

First off, mentally he has become very mature, and he has broadened his own boundaries. He can probably jump many quads alone, but can he succeed in times of pressure, those moments when this is it? It is very difficult. I can’t even imagine the level he’s trying to accomplish and reach.

He has grown as a person as well. All the different situations [he faced] in life have helped his growth. I remember when he went through that difficult season two years ago. That collision on ice, and afterwards, undergoing surgery too. Going through so many difficulties, challenges and obstacles brought about his growth as a person, as a man, as a performer.

Although I am older than he is, I’m still growing each day. What I’ve noticed from practicing together is that I’m opening up to him. In part, I feel comfortable and that we understanding each other. It is that feeling of relating with someone. I feel the growth in the way he stands and moves. He’s gotten taller and he has opened up his heart as well. His self-confidence has increased, and he knows himself well. Such growth is bringing forth an entirely different performance.

Through efforts over the past year Yuzu’s raised level of performance

Since he's already skated to SEIMEI for a season, it has accumulated inside of him. Additionally, I think he himself loves performing this program. When the skater himself is excited [about the program], it communicates. When you like the music and the story, the movements become a thing of your own. The program’s character––he feels so real to him, and he relates to him. In the past year, he skated to something new and different, improving technically. In fact, the level of his performance has gone up. That’s why, it’s great that he returns to a program he dearly loves and integrates the familiar with difficult elements. If he were to choose a completely different program, there would be a lot of new things he’d have to do. Choosing a program he likes is a strategically sound plan. In doing so, there is a fire in him and he can skate with passion. And that affords him some ease with the elements; he could add difficult elements to the program later. He can probably do better if he feels good and relaxed, as opposed to when he is nervous. I’ve repeated show programs a year after, and because I knew the music well, I did very well. Making use of his own experience, I’m sure he can skate this program even better.

When I first choreographed SEIMEI, he entrusted it entirely to me. Before beginning choreography, before entering the rink, we had an openhearted discussion about the music, about the story of the movie. He told me why he liked this music. I always ask about that sort of thing. There must be a reason for choosing [a particular piece], because that is important. Without a reason, there is no way to put in any emotions either. After we listened to the music and watched the film, I found a unique way of understanding him. Through discussion, the two of us decided on the right direction of the story. That was what we did before choreography. When we get on the ice, he’s open to trying out anything I suggest.

Because he will say so if he thinks something is wrong, we communicate well. Although he trusted me right away, I think he chooses me because he feels that what we’re doing is right. I think this is a great relationship. As I’ve said earlier, I feel that the heart and soul of this piece really resemble him. And that’s why, it wasn’t so difficult to put together this piece. Yuzu always has his opinions ready, and I think that is a really fantastic aspect of him. He has his own view of what he wants to do, and I think it's great if my suggestions can help him towards the right choices. During our practice, I suggested to him––"Will you meet with the actor [of Abe no Seimei]? It would be great if you could try acting together." It would be a wonderful collaboration, and he would learn more about his own internal preferences and what the piece means to him. It’s helpful to do things with remarkable people.

I think last season’s Hope & Legacy wasn’t an easy piece to skate to. Musically, it didn't have the power that SEIMEI has. It also wasn't something romantic, but there was a soft lyrical quality to it. I think he thought intensively about the movements of his own body, the musicality of the piece, and the flow when he goes from one movement to another and so forth.

So, I think it became good training that showed off a different side of him. What matters was that he’d brought and integrated everything into the second half of the program, that he added to the quads, and that he had continued to express the music even as he was executing such difficult elements. At World’s, he had carried all of this, everything, through.

It was a really wonderful moment when he first told me that he wanted to work together. He is a rare, spectacular skater. It's a very fortunate thing when a choreographer gets the chance to work with a high-level skater. And when I first met him, I was instantly, strongly captivated. Choreographing the program, he would just jump a few triples and quads. This wasn’t ever the case with anyone. He was serious in looking at how it would be [with the elements inserted. I felt his deep respect for the ice, me, the coaches, his family. It was a true sense of respect. I feel his recognition and gratitude, so it’s amazing to be part of the team, and I think he was definitely evaluating [how the program looked] in earnest. He showed that he was grateful, but it was such a wonderful thing, so much that I wanted other skaters who were training together to see it as well. He always evaluates [the choreography] properly and expresses his thankfulness.

At times, when someone becomes a champion, you lose sight of such a side, but he is a real champion even as a person. Speaking of why SEIMEI is a good fit for him, it’s because the character has an extraordinarily strong mind. Someone who surmounts chaos and confusion through his frame of mind. On the one hand, Yuzu is so sweet, funny, and charming。Yet on the other hand, he is really strong. Working together with him, I see it––his true nature. The more I got to know him, the more he opened up to me as a person. I think that’s maturity, and also trust.

Not only that we were able to work together, that I was able to see the way he mastered and skated so skillfully to this program and fought––it was a marvelous experience beyond all description. There are skaters in this who stiffen, tense up, and feel stressed when the time comes for competition. Although there were good days and bad days, he just keeps making progress. That is why it was so great to become part of his team, and I can’t wait to see how he performs his next program.

What I want to emphasize in particular with this program are the landings of his jumps. Because they are very difficult… although that is my fault (laughs). Thanks to him––that is to say, because he has raised the technical level––the competition on the whole has become very tough. Everyone is going all out to defeat him, or to catch up with him. So he works hard to get to a place out of anyone’s reach. That is why I think he is successful.

The fact that he really feels the music, his ability to execute everything effortlessly, his inherent strength… considering all of this, he is going to come out even stronger. The SEIMEI this time comes backed by the experience from last year, because hard training pays off. Practice brings confidence, no matter when. This year, I don’t think he needs to attend the first competition, but to him, furthering his growth is a necessity. The Olympic stage––is where he must be at his best condition.

It’s hard to pick one of Yuzu’s greatest strengths. He is strong as a whole. He has the ability to perform, he can also jump without under-rotation. But he doesn’t just complete his rotations, when he soars into a quad, it is as though you're looking at a double. You feel his composure and confidence from the ease and the flow in and out of his jumps. That is why he is special compared to other skaters.

Physical matters aside, his mental strength is number one, the best thing, out of all his strong points. No matter how much you work hard and train, it is probably 90% a mental problem. Not only that, his physical ability now has also gone up, he knows his body well, and his body has matured. On top of being mentally tough, he is also training his muscles––I think this is his biggest strength.

When practicing parts with Yuzu, I always feel like my hair stand on end and I get goosebumps. He has a connection with the music, and he moves freely. He does everything, believing in what I say. He makes the process of choreography a really beautiful thing for me. That’s why, it is always a pleasure to enter the rink with him and collaborate together.

(fin)

Figure Skate Magazine (B.B.Mook 1383) on Amazon.co.jp: This magazine tends to be text-heavy but detailed. Yamaguchi and the rest of the editorial team did a great job bringing to life what Team Yuzu was like during Media Day in the current issue. Please consider supporting them.

(Caption: Sharpening skate and mind.)

(These two photos from Day 1 weren’t with the piece, but I thought they fit? In a weird way? Fierce Yuzu and RAWR-RAWR Yuzu? XD)

#hanyu yuzuru #yuzuru hanyu #shae-lynn bourne #figure skating #choreographer #seimei #2017 media day #2017 #shaelynn bourne

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love-msj · 7 years ago

Text

out of character.

@angelwingsisme2 Thank you for welcoming me. Also thank you for sending me the link. It kept taking me to your page. I was however able to see the start or beginning. But if there is more that comes after Sam signed the contract it didn't open. But I thank you all the same.

So the reason I linked that to you is because my partner hadn’t technically reblogged the very ending to it. However you should have seen the entire thread. You maybe confusing yourself lol, because that’s the completed story I linked. However, I took the liberty of copying and pasting the entire thing within this post for you. It may make life easier if you actually followed the pages as well. But if you are new to tumblr, meaning freshly new, it takes tumblr 2-3 days to recognize your page so some things are limited. Either way the story is below for you and I hope this time it works out for you darling. If not, I could give you the gist of the ending.

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes was actually running late, which she assumed was also apart of her crappy luck for the month. She’s been dodging public settings and burying herself in work, placing Yara Shahidi on this month’s cover sparked great controversy for the magazine not to mention the inspirational young woman’s interview that filled exactly five pages within the nearly two-hundred plus that were printed. She was getting the recognition she deserved for a job well done however, it was over-shadowed by her current deportation situation. As her driver came to a stop she lunge out the limo before the car could really come to a stop. Scurrying quickly all you heard was the clicking of heels and shuffling of feet as she all but ran and people moved out of the bosses way. She rushed to the elevator and pushed the up button feverishly, she watched as it moved slowly before she looked to the one next to it. She turned around and looked at the other two and when the bell dung she scurried to the other side jumping on. “I’m sorry Ms. Jones” a guy said climbing off the elevator “yeah, yeah, yeah” she said rushing him out before she pressed the buttons to close the door in his face. She had to interview the candidates that would play her husband for a time, so she could sort this big mess out. Once she reached her floor she stepped off to see it completely covered with candidates. Her eyes were wide taking the various men in, “damn” she said to herself. “Good morning” Amy said as she rushed up towards Mercedes grabbing the woman’s purse she handed over Mercedes books. “It’s a lot of men here” she said despite Mercedes having realized the obvious.

“I see” she said sighing, it would be a long day for her she was sure. Looking around she moved to the center of the room just standing there. She opened her journal to see a list of men names stapled that her assistant drew up. The chattering in the room was annoying her and making her already hurting head hurt more as she tried to imagine getting through them all. “Excuse me!” she said loudly “can I get some order in the room?” she asked the men. She untied the belt to her coat and removed it tossing it on Amy’s desk. Amy grabbed the coat putting it away properly. “There is one of me and about a hundred” she said flipping the pages “and fifty of you” she said. “I won’t strain my voice and I won’t repeat myself. You talk, you leave. You don’t answer truthfully, you leave. You don’t give me respect, you leave” she listed as she paced a bit looking to the list still. “You annoy me” she said looking up “you leave” she told them all looking around the room.

SAM EVANS

Sam kept a skeptical eye on the horde of men in the room. He nervously chewed on the corner of his fingernail, trying to decide if being a member of this cattle call was even worth it. “You shouldn’t bite your nails you know. Penelope says It’s not civilized.” Addison commented casually, as her finger slid over the glass touchscreen of her tablet. Samuel glanced down to his hand, and spat out the piece of nail between his teeth. With a resolved sigh he tucked his hand into his armpits and looked down at his sister, “Yeah, well, she would know.” He said crisply. Addison idealized Penelope. It was the only reason the woman put up with Tom baby sitting the girl from time to time. Thus he tried not to speak ill about the woman in Addison’s hearing. “Mhm,” She said, nodding satisfied that her brother had conformed to her wishes. “She also says I should wear more dresses, so grain of salt.” She shrugged nonchalantly. Sam chest shook as he laughed at the smaller blond. She laid her tablet down on her lap, and looked up to Sam liquid blue eyes intent. “We don’t have our apartment anymore. Do we?” Sam’s face fell, he ran his hand through his hair as he knelt down next to Addison. He plucked her beany from her head and smooth down her blond locks. “Umm, I’m going to find us a new home. One where you have your own bedroom. You were to big for that place.” Addison blinked huge old eyes at her brother. He was lying. Whenever he ran his hand through his hair she knew he was about to lie to her. She nodded sadly, already missing there small studio apartment. “That’s why I haven’t been back to school yet, huh?” Sam began chewing on his fingernail again. “Yeah,” He agreed around his nail. “But next week. You’ll be back in school…”

Sam trailed off moving back to his feet as the mood in the room shifted. All the men were fixed on the center off the room, on something or someone he couldn’t see. Addison noticed the change as well, and stood on her folding chair trying to get a better look. Sam followed suit going up on his tip toes. Still their efforts were useless. A woman’s voice cut through the chatter, and Sam strained to make out what she was saying. He only caught snatches but the gist he gathered was, it wouldn’t take much for him or any of them to be dismissed. Dropping back down flat on his feet, he sighed and looked to Addy again. “Maybe we should go. This is a long shot anyway.” Addy jumped down off the chair, “So, I guess that lady with the accent is the boss, huh?” She smirked broadly at her older male twin. “Yeah.” Sam said, grabbing her coat. Addison looked around at the office, it was nice and she was able to connect to the internet. “Let’s stay for a little while. This is the nicest place you’ve ever interviewed?” She stuck out her bottom lip and held up five small fingers. He sighed and nodded draping her coat back on the chair. “You know one day that pout isn’t going to work right?” Sam mumbled leaning back against the wall. He didn’t have anything to lose, what harm could a few more minutes do? Addy plopped back down in the chair, eyes going back to her tablet as she thought slyly. But it worked today….

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes continued to look at the paper before her trying to understand how she’d go about this. Her brain working a mile a minute in the moment, before she looked up again. “Background checks?” Mercedes asked Amy looking to her licking her lips slowly as she did. Amy rushed over with said paper having organized them in categories, Mercedes skimmed the pages quickly looking for anything legal that stood out. “Davis, Sampson, Williams… Jamal and David, Jones, Davis…Terry Davis, Copeland, Foster….” she said listing off sixty different men who either have been to jail for anything from felonies or worst. “You are all dismissed, I guess I should’ve added in bold print on the ad. No criminals” she said watching the men leave one after the other. After that she looked to see how many ex-husbands and fathers there were, she truly didn’t need any of that in the mist of her grand scheme. She called out twenty men who have been divorced in the last five years or had more than one kid. “Okay, that’s that” she said licking her lips again. “Okay, I am going to group you guys together” she said getting their attention again. “Last name, A-E” she said “can you please move over here” she directed. “Last name, F-J. Right here” she pointed. “Last name, K-O. There” she said gesturing. “Last name, P-T” she pointed simply not saying anything more. “U-Y” she called out pointing, “Z” she finalized as she pointed.

SAM EVANS

Sam’s hand absently moved back up to his mouth. He gnawed his nail, as he waited on something to happen. “Hey hand me my folder will you. The one I put in your bookbag.” Addy rolled her eyes, then slipped from the chair and unzipped her bag, pulling out his folder. “Here.” She said roughly handing it to him. “Thanks!” He said taking it from her fingers. He looked to the front of the room as the woman with the accent began to speak again. He squinted listening for his name intently. Not hearing his name, he pushed off the wall preparing to leave, “Whelp.” He stopped short as she dismissed that entire batch of applicants. His spirits lifted a bit. Maybe he had a chance after all. After another group of men were dismissed he smiled down at his sister. “So far so good.” He beamed, pursing his lips as Addy offered him a halfhearted thumbs up. “Okay you stay put. you hear me?” he said, moving over to the “E” designated section of the room.

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes nibbled her lip watching as everyone moved to their set spot, she was nervous as hell for obvious reasons. “Resumes?” she asked holding her hand out as she moved towards the A-E line. The few that handed her one got a pleasant smile from her for the first time “okay, so those without one can exit” she said with another smile. She looked the men over before she walked away and moved to the next sections repeatedly asking for resumes until she condensed seventy men down to fifty. Satisfied she placed them on Amy’s desk, whom went missing abruptly, she shrugged that off before saying. “Who here has experience with memorization?” she asked broadly. “Let’s be truthful with our answers please. I don’t have much time to waste” she told them all. “I need someone who’s hands on, great with memorization, someone who is convincingly dedicate to this cause, someone who is dependable day and night, who can work along side me - at my beckoning call when I ask” she said as she looked to Amy as she walked back into the area with a little girl in hand. The little girl had a snack and cup of juice. “Who’s little girl?” she asked curiously.

SAM EVANS

Sam’s fingers fumbled as he removed his resume’ from the folder. He waited, paper in hand, as the tiny, sculpted woman moved up the line. Though towering over her, his eyes were trained on her lips. An old habit that he’d never managed to break. He always felt that people could see his sins if he looked in to their eyes. He watched as her perfect lips formed into a smile. His green eyes pushed there way up her face to hold her brown ones for the briefest of moments, before she was on to the next person in the line.

The woman, Amy, had offered her snacks, and despite Sam’s warning, Addy couldn’t turn down that down. She was 99% sure Amy didn’t own a pedo van. She bit into her bagel with cream cheese, smiling up at the nice lady, as they made there way back into the main room. Addy’s eyes went saucers size at the woman’s words. She looked to Sam quickly, knowing she was in hot water.

Sam’s finger shot up at her question about memorization. When she piled on more requirements he noticed the hesitation in other so he raised his hand higher, the more she added. If the pay was right, he would be her foot stool. Sam’s eyes followed the woman’s noting that something had caught her attention. His hand lowered slowly to his side as in trotted Addy with the woman’s assistant. “I told you not to move.” He mouthed lips tight, to a nervous looking Addison. He sighed, “Ummm, she’s my little sister. I’m sorry.” He apologized moving to collect his sister.

“I’m Addison Joy Evans.” She piped up, staring the woman directly in the eyes. “You’re Mercedes Simone Jones. You’re the boss of Teen Vogue and you are the woman who is going to hire my big brother.”

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes continued to stare at the little girl before she noticed the gentlemen, when he spoke up she gave him her full and undivided attention. Her eyes darted from the man to the little girl as she spoke up. Mercedes folded her arms over her chest, letting her speak, she didn’t say anything and despite her weeding children out earlier she was very much a infatuated with children and family. “Am I?” Mercedes asked the little girl with a raised brow as they stared each other down. “How could you be so very sure?” she asked her next. The little girl intrigued Mercedes, though adding children into her plan was not apart of the equation at all, it was conflicting.

SAM EVANS

Addy leaned in and tilted her head, “Where is Trinidad?” She asked curiously, as Sam approached her. Sam placed his hands on her slight shoulders. “Sorry again. she spends to much time online.” He used her shoulders to guide her, back to her things. Addison planted her feet, and looked back to the brown eyed woman. “Because he is strong, nice, and he has been taking care of me since my mother went to heaven.” She thought for moment before finishing. “That means he can do anything.” “Let’s go, Addy.” Sam’s face, was long and pained . There wasn’t a job in the world that would hire you after they found out you brought a child with you to the interview.

MERCEDES JONES.

At the little girl’s question Mercedes eyebrows rose to her hairline, the nerve of the little thing to tell her her whole life history in her office. She was shocked, she never once thought as she dug up information on these men that they would in fact be doing the same. “Trinidad is southern most nation in the Caribbean, extremely close to Venezuela” she told the little girl matter-of-factually. Mercedes continued to watch the man gather his little sister and her things, she took in his entire in comparison to others, and she listened at his sister’s next statement. Looking to Amy for a moment, she sighed softly. The poor little girl had no mother, she couldn’t imagine her life having been the same. “You can stay” she said as she moved to collect the resumes. “Amy keep her entertained” she said as she moved to open her office doors “the first group can join me in here” she told them “I’ll be conducting group interviews” she told them. She looked to the men before she said “that means A-E, you move any slower you can slowly walk out of my building instead…” she told them before feet begin to shuffle.

SAM EVANS

“The Caribbean, wow. You grew up on an island? Cool.” Addison pursed her lips, hanging her head a bit as Sam scurried her away. “I’m sorry, but she asked.“ she told him putting on her jacket. She poked her head around Sam’s waist beaming, wiggling her eyebrows. “Good Luck!” Sam let out a relieved sigh when she said he could stay. Almost running to join the other men, “Be good for Amy.” He said pointing to the assistant as he quickly disappeared with the other men.

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes looked to the child again, a bit of a smirk at the corner of her mouth not to much to be noticeable but just enough. She closed the door behind the last man and she moved to her desk “I apologize for the lack of chairs. I didn’t really expect to see this many men, here” she told them honestly. “Anyhow, upfront I want to ask, if any of you have any governmental employment in your work history?” she said. “We here at Vogue doesn’t discriminate against our beloved government, however it would be a conflict of interest” she told him. when no one spoke up she said “great” before she moved to sit down. “First thing first, all your background checks cleared. Which is good. I don’t have any felons, divorcees, heavily populated offspring dwellers, or drug addicts on my hands thanks to the drug test that were performed ahead of time. Thank you for that” she said looking down her list of things. “So, this job pays very well. You couldn’t imagine how well. It comes with housing as well” she told them all. “However, I can only pick one man out of you and the other’s in there” she pointed. “Sell yourself to me. Each of you in 5 minutes to sell yourself. However you want, tell me whatever you need to. Better yet before we get there. If you had a choice between pitching to me yourself and a glass of water which would you choose?” she asked them all. “A few said water, of course” and she scanned the room looking to the blonde hoping he didn’t disappoint her by picking the wrong answer.

SAM EVANS

Sam’s nerves caused him to fidget as self doubt started to rear it’s self deprecating head. As she asked about Government jobs he locked his legs in place and prayed. Not to God but to his mother for courage. The prayer held until she asked them to sell themselves. Panic put his mind and body into a vice and began to squeeze. How was he supposed to do that? He was poor, white, trash. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, the words ‘you ain’t shit’ sounding off in his head. Years of mental punches given courtesy of his father. ‘you should just turned tricks like your mother.’ His hands clench in to fist by his side. He opened his eye anger, over coming his panic. Did she say water? He thought furrowing his brows. ‘Idiots,’ he thought. Shocked that anyone would choose water. “I’d rather pitch.” He announced braking over the chatter in the room. He stepped around the man just in front of him, holding her gazed as he did. He had to say this before he lost his nerve. “I ain’t shit. I don’t have much, some would say I’m poor, white trash. I’m most likely unqualified for this job. Whatever it is.“ He said hurling his father’s words as if purging himself. “That said, I’m quick on my feet and have a sharp mind. Aside from that.” He quieted and stared deep into her eyes. His soul shivered at being so exposed but he needed to know. Nodding, his decision made, “I promise you that as long as whatever this is doesn’t come between me and Addy. You have my life, my loyalty and…” He added as an almost after thought, “And my complete confidence.”

MERCEDES JONES.

Mercedes waited and she noticed the man in the back as he made his way forward, the blonde. He said he ‘wasn’t shit’ and her eyes squinted a bit at him, where in the hell was he going with this she didn’t know but it better had been good. As he continued she rested her hands on her desk top, letting him get it all out, he had 5 minutes after all. He was desperate that much she gathered, he had nothing and apparently no one but his little sister. But would he be stable enough to pull this off, she had doubts about that. But she asked him to sell himself and he was, at least he was trying. He wasn’t well put together, he could play the background which was the exact ting she told them that he did. Stayed in the background. But the kid added a curve ball to things because she didn’t mention her. Plus this guy didn’t look to be the kind of guy that could seduce and coax her into anything. He was a scruffy little fella. Nothing she pictured, but she had a heart, and the rest of the men there had better background then he did, she already picked him out when she searched the resumes earlier. “What is your name?” she asked him.

SAM EVANS

He couldn’t tell if he’d gotten through to her or not. But damn! He felt, somehow, better then he had in years. He could leave with that if nothing else. His chest heaved, and his eyes dropped down to her nose a bit. When she asked his name his eyes went back to hers, “Names, Samuel Levy Evans.” He said swallowing down a lump in his throat.

MERCEDES JONES.

“Well” Mercedes breathed as she held out her hand to him hesitantly “Mr. Evans, you just won yourself a job. I hope I can trust you. Please, don’t let me down” she told him serious as she shook his hand for a moment pulling it away. “Thanks gentle, I appreciate you being here” she told them. She hoped she made the right decision because if not she’d pay for it, abundantly. Parts of her were sure and other were not, he seemed so flaky but his honesty won her over. At least he was honest about that, it would her feel like he was honest about the rest. She stood up escorting the men towards her door and out of it. She looked to Amy and the same little girl she said “you can send the rest of them home, I’ve made my choice. Thanks again” she said in a somber tone. Her gut told her she was doing the right then, her mind was telling her she was going to fail. “Mr. Evans you can go with Amy she’ll lead you the rest of the way through” she said giving Amy a knowing look before she moved back into her office.

SAM EVANS

Sam watched her face as her hand extended towards him. He didn’t believe in miracles, but this felt like one. He stepped to the desk’s edge and caught her hand in his. “I won’t.” He said simply and honestly. He couldn’t. He had only a passing thought about what she wanted him to do. Somehow the idea of being a man servant kept popping into his head. The idea seemed like a strong one. Live in, good memorization skills, while making good money. Sam Evans butler, wasn’t the life he’d seen for himself but it sure as hell beat being turned into a bitch. He moved to her nodding as she asked him to go with Amy. He stopped once level with his new employer. “Thank you, again.” He said, before moving out of the room. His face lit up as he approached Addy, “I got the job!” He mouthed, opening his arms to his sister. Addy jumped into his arms, hugging his neck tightly. “Told you.“ He shook his head against her neck. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know your psychic.” He held lowered her back to the floor, looking toward Amy, “What’s next?”

MERCEDES JONES.

Moved back into her office and released a loud breath as she stood with her back against her office doors. This would be the point in time when she knew she should just face the consequences to her own mistake. Why bring her assistant, a estranged man and his little sister in it? With the possibility of it not working shadowing her like a heavy burden. She swallowed hard as she exhaled again her chin quivering, she was going to lose everything and take three people down with her. It was selfish, but what would come of her being set back home and losing everything? She worked so hard, not just for herself but for her family. She built them a life beyond their wildest dreams, she couldn’t let them down, especially not her grandmother. The woman believed in her so much, she poured into Mercedes, it would just be a slap to the face if it would was flushed down the drain. She sniffled, quickly wiping a stray tear as she exhaled a third time.

Amy looked to Mercedes and then Mr. Evans, she honestly didn’t know what she was set to do next. They talked about it briefly but not enough to play along now. “Uh” she said looking to him as she tried to think of something quick. “I, uh” she stammered. “Well congratulations” she told him immediately. “Give me on second” she said lifting a finger as she moved to walk into Mercedes office knocking twice before she did. “With all do respect Ms. Jones, I have no clue what I am suppose to be doing right now” she whispered as she closed the door. “What is it that we are suppose to be doing right now?” she asked her.

Mercedes stood before her desk, sitting on it idly shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know” she said softly. “How do I tell someone, your job is to marry me to keep me in the states. This had to be the dumbest idea I’ve ever thought of” she told her. “I don’t know what’s next….”

SAM EVANS

“Thank you.” Sam said hesitantly. “Do I need to do some paperwork or watch a video.“ He fidgeted for a moment before adding, “She mention something about housing” He said trying to help. As she moved towards Mercedes office, he turned Addy towards the chairs. “Come on Addy, I guess we should go sit down.”

MERCEDES JONES.

“Well you have to do something because he’s out there, you promised him a job, and housing” Amy said seriously.

“Do you realize what you are doing?” Mercedes asked her “who could imagine what they would do to us if we get caught” she breathed out dropping her head back. “I didn’t think this through. I have completely lost my mind this will never work” she told her assistant.

“You know what I see that other people don’t?” Amy asked Mercedes seriously. “I see a hardworking woman, who diligently changed the face of one of the most important magazines in the World. You taught me the importance of being a strong woman in today’s society. In a male driven society, I’ve seen men bow at your feet and beg. You give to the poor. You feed the needy. You take your family on a vacation 3 times a year. You send as many cousins and family members, goods, clothing, whatever they need you give them. I don’t know much about island life but what I know is you are making their’s better each issue, each article, each ad at a time” she breathed. “Those men don’t see that, maybe the United States don’t see it but I do. I know the importance of you being here. I know what this all means to you. I am willing to give up a little piece of me to ensure you stay because I see all the good even when everyone else sees the bad” Amy told her. “We are here, it’s done, tell him what he’s here for. And honestly threaten his ass if he flakes” she said sternly before she covered her mouth with her hand slightly.

Mercedes looked to Amy folding her arms over her chest, her look was serious and off-putting but the more the girl talked the more her face fell. She was a private person but Amy would know her best, she never really realized how much she paid attention however. He family did mean the World to her and for the most part, she was doing it for them. So Amy was right, she needed to do this despite the guilt she felt at the moment. What was do, was already done and she couldn’t go back home. At her last statement Mercedes actually laughed, something that was foreign to the people around her. Under the hard shell and many layers was a bright and loving individual. “It seems I have no choice.”

SAM EVANS

Sam’s head laid back against the wall. He stared intently at the door behind which a portion of his future lay. Or was this job to good to be true. Boy,It was starting to feel that way. Amy was completely lost, she had no idea what to do with him, Why? Sitting up, his anger flared. “Addison, get your coat on.” he ordered. “What?” Addy shrieked. “I don’t think there is a job.” He said, getting to his feet. He snatched up his sister’s book bag, holding if for her as she slowly shoved her arm in her jacket, wordlessly.

MERCEDES JONES.

Opening the door to her office Mercedes looked to the blonde, the little pathetic man her wife now depended on. “Going somewhere?” she asked him folding her arms over her chest again, for a woman who was ripping at the seams she tried her best to keep it together.

“I’ll go get those documents for you right now Ms. Jones, sorry about that hiccup” the girl lied scurrying off down the fall.

Mercedes looked to her nodding her as she played along, there were no damn documents. However she was sure Amy would come up with something, she was quick on her feet. “I thought I prepped her on everything, I didn’t so you get to spend this lovely evening with me” she said directing her office. “If you don’t touch a single thing little one you can sit at Amy’s desk…” Mercedes said looking to his sister.

SAM EVANS

Cold shock ran up his spine as her version of English rang out crisp in the air. He turned to face her, handing Addy her backpack, “Yeah I got the impression…” he was cut off by Amy apologizing and leaving the area at almost a dead run. “I’m sorry.. I made an assumption.” He confessed, green eyes bright, “My apologies.” He added, hoping his haste hadn’t cost him a job.

MERCEDES JONES.

“Apologies are nothing more but excuses I don’t care to hear either don’t apologize just correct yourself, and you are wasting my time doing so Mr. Evans. Get in my office or leave” she told him sternly. “Again, your sister can sit at Amy’s desk, I don’t like repeating myself so don’t make me do so” she told him. “You need a new wardrobe” she pointed out as she moved into her office, she paged the ever present Charlie. “I need a makeover, it’s a true task” she said looking back to Samuel. “Think Kid Rock… I need Josh Upshaw” she said and Charlie whistled on the other end. “I know, I owe you” she sighed. “Make it quick though” she warned as she hung up. “Make over, you’d have a lot of material to remember, by housing I meant rooming with me, you get close to six hundred thousand dollars from this job” she explained. “I need you to fake a marriage with me, it is very important” she told him. “You are basically all that I have at the moment to do this successfully. Amy is going to teach you everything about me, almost anything you could need to know” she told him.

SAM EVANS

“Noted.” Sam said emotionless, as she chastised him. He stood for a second, jaw clenched as the flight option began to look appealing.

Addy placed both hands on her brother’s rear and gave him a hard shove. “Get going. You think to much.” She fussed, already moving towards Amy’s desk.

Sam looked back at this sister, “Alright, you don’t have to push.” He chuckled. The truth was her bark was nothing. He was an uneducated member of the workforce, being bossed around was pare for the course. He looked down at his clothes as she mentioned makeover. ‘Yep’ he thought, ‘Man servant.’ He moved into her office, and stood behind the chair facing her desk, as she made her phone call. He tried to imitate the butlers he had seen on TV as a child, standing hands behind his back, chin pointed up. His brows moved down his face a she so openly, berated his looks, however what did it matter, when did you ever see a butler look like him. His mouth hit the floor, “Did you just say? He moved around the chair dropping in the seat, mouth hanging open. Unblinking, his eyes were fixed on the woman’s nose. “Let me get this straight.” He said hands going through his shaggy hair. “You are willing to give us room and board. /And/ a little over half a million dollars. For me to marry you? A” He hesitated snapping his fingers. “A green card marriage?”

MERCEDES JONES.

The woman stared at him the least bit amused “first of all, don’t refer to it as such” she told him. “And I guess so…” she replied back to him. “Trust me this is the last thing I want to do, but I have to do it. So yes, room and board, a little over a half a million dollars, and I guess a few months of your time” she told him as she licked her lips. “If you don’t want to do it, I completely understand” she said seriously.

SAM EVANS

Sam’s eyes dropped to the carpet between his feet, as he sat hunched over in the chair. What she offered was more then he’d seen in his life time. Even if, she wasn’t willing to name it? “No, I’ll do it. Can I ask for one additional thing? My sister’s school. Even once this partnership has dissolved, she remains in the school near your home.” he said eyes still on the ground.

MERCEDES JONES.

“You want her in a private school and want me to use my money and connections to get her there and keep her there?” she asked him curiously trying to follow his statement. She was still on the fence, it would take her a few days to really consider this all herself. “You aren’t even going to take time to think about this, you are just all in so easily?” she asked the man.

SAM EVANS

Sam sat back and rubbed his chin for a moment, considering her question. “I never thought about private school…“ He mumbled thinking out loud. “Private school, private school.. Could you use your connections to get her in? Access to an education like that… it could change her life.” Sam shrugged. This was still a game and at any point the rules could change. “You still have to actually show me the money. But as for the rest… I’ve already given you my word. It’s you who has to do the considering. You have to trust a guy like me with your secrets, in your home. A woman like you?” I figure I’m on some kind of trial bases anyway.”

MERCEDES JONES.

“Why would I care you kept her in a public school nearby my home?” she asked the man curiously. He was going to be headache that she saw very clear now, very clear. “I could do something yes, by connections I mean my money. But however you word it…” she as she dropped her hands to her desk gripping it lightly. “You don’t think I have half a million dollars?” she questioned laughing at the man in his face. “You are question what I am good for?” she said as she stood upright. “Cash or check?” she asked him sarcastically. Who in the hell did this guy think he was talking to? “I don’t have time for a trail bases Mr. Evans. This is urgent if you haven’t noticed my career maybe even my sanity is on the line” she said as she rounded her desk. “I don’t have time for games and jokes” she added. “The most you’ll get from me today, fifty thousand of the pay out, a contract to sign, and the date and time you get to move into your new home. If you run with the money. Jokes on me. If you stay, you prove your word is your bond by memorizing everything you can about me and proving to be the best fake fiance you can be to get the rest of your money and your sister’s entrance into the best private school in the area. And I’ll do my best to keep up my part of the fantasy, learning everything about you though I don’t there is much I’d have to” she told him looking him up and down, there were no questions there. Only statements

SAM EVANS

“You are putting words in my mouth. I simply meant no money has changed hands yet.” Sam said, looking around the office face impassive. “You have all the power here. A blind man could see that.” The idea that he had offended her was laughable, he would lose if this charade didn’t work not her. He listened to her second lecture of the day, letting the words wash over him. She took nearly everything he said out of context, or maybe he just didn’t have the proper words to communicate with someone on her level. It was of little importance though, a nail didn’t have to understand a hammer. He nodded, ear marking the important statements, fifty thousand up front, contract, date and time. He smirk at her last dig, he was used to low blow comments like hers, he was raised on them. “Any thing else?” He asked getting to his feet. He didn’t care to be talked down to and looked down on at the same time. He would have left her office. -Told her to keep her money. But he could see something he’d never dream of. A future where Addison could have an office like this one, money to spare. A future where she didn’t get talked to like a nobody. He would endure every bruise this woman, or anyone else gave if it meant she never had to live in filth anymore. His fiance? Was a piece of work. he could see why she was hiring a husband. No man in his right mind would take on a woman like this. “I can handle those terms. Like I said, you have my word.”

MERCEDES JONES.

“Hm” Mercedes said as he replied back to her, she didn’t like his tone. But she didn’t say too much she knew the woman she could become and she rather not be that person today. “Good” she said lowly “you can see Amy now, that’s who will turn out to be your best friend during all of this” she added as she moved to snatch up the folders from her desk. “I have things I have to get to” she told him “excuse me” she added as she walked out of the office completely. Meeting Amy at the door she looked to the child before she said “I’ll keep you posted, we may have to call some of those men back, hold on to those resumes and background checks” she told her discreetly as she walked away. “He’s all yours buttercup” she added sarcastically.

SAM EVANS

Sam wordlessly inclined his head as he moved to back out of the office. He slowed though as she left ahead of him. Scratching his head, was he supposed to leave or stay? Finally he shrugged, she told him to go see Amy after all, and he was supposed to follow direction at once. He made it out of the room just as he was released to his handler? he looked down at Amy, moving to clear Mercedes path. “Hi, I’m ready when you are.”

MERCEDES JONES.

Looking to Samuel, Amy handed over the contract “please sign this” she told him. “Here is the fifty grand” she said handing over the small tote bag “it’s in cash” she told him. “And I will meet you at this address on February twenty-first at exactly 3 pm” she told him. “You will move all your things in that day, if you need a mover let me know. Text me at this number” she pointed. “Once there I will tell you some things you need to know and get you situated in the apartment” she told him. “That is all” she said offering a slight but not too convincing smile.

SAM EVANS

Samuel scratched the side of his face then took the contracts from the lady. He flipped through the pages, only understand half of what it said. Turning back to the first page, everything finally clicked. “Prenup.” He mumbled, impressed by how clever this was. He eyed the bag, letting it hang in the air for a moment, before he tucked the contract under his arm and slowly took the satchel. All of this had seemed like a joke, until the weight of fifty thousand was in his hands. As she continued to speak he moved over to the desk and picked up a pen preparing to sign the papers. He hesitated, then flipped to the middle of the document. There it spelled out what he would get in the event of a divorce. All of it was there except the bit about Addy’s schooling. He read the passage over several times, then reread the whole document trying to commit it to memory. “Cool,” he said, eyes going back to Amy. "I need to be at this address at 3 pm on the 21st, check. He finally scribbled his name on the line provided. There wasn’t much cause for fear, this entire transaction was illegal. She had to depend on his word and he on hers. “Addy, get your things. It’s time to go.” he said, handing the paper work back to the woman. “Thank You.“ he said soberly, then took his sister’s hand. “Thank You Ms. Amy I have a blast.” Addy grinned, deciding that a hug would have been to much. Sam glanced toward his fiance’ door, then back to Amy, “We’ll be there.” he offered again before he moved to the elevators, pushing the down button.

MERCEDES JONES.

Amy watched the man, her hands clasped before her skirt as she waited for him to read the documents and sign them. “I hope it’s clear and straight forward” she told him. Amy nodded her head slowly “mhm” she told him as he repeated everything back to her. “Thank you and have a great day” Amy told Sam and she looked down at Addy, “so did I sweetheart” Amy said with a smile as Samuel set off to go. “See you then” she told Samuel as he moved for the elevator. The poor boy had no clue what he was getting himself into but with money involved she assumed people were willing to do just about anything.

#out of character.

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