#and both dick and Bruce are like ???
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Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.
Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.
Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.
Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.
Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?
Bruce: what.
Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.
#batman#dc comics#kid!tim#I love those fics#they need to make Nightwing a little more unhinged tho#like I would expect both Jason and Dick to hate each other until they find a common enemy (Bruce)#and annoy the shit out of him#or until they find stalker Timothy Drake following them are met with a bought of brotherly concern so strong they don’t even blink an ey#they don’t even care when tim accidentally calls them by their civilian name#they just look at each other and kidnap him#Tim’s just along for the ride#he gets to swing with them through Gotham (so cool!!) and ride nightwings motorbike!!! and see the batcave!!!#little eight year old Tim’s dream come true#tim Drake#Jason Todd#dick Grayson#Robin#Nightwing#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#mine
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Wally: “Wow you have Batman AND Superman as your dads? It must be so much fun hanging out with them as civilians!”
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*cut to a rare non-patrol night at the Manor*
*Bruce is wearing glasses, an old Gotham Knights sweatshirt, Clark’s sweatpants, and is reading the Wall Street Journal from an iPad; his feet are tucked under Clark’s legs*
*Clark is wearing Bruce’s hoodie, pajama pants his Ma made him a decade ago, and is ALSO reading from an iPad; every now and then he looks up to try and solve Bruce’s crossword (abandoned in the other room after breakfast) before returning to his article*
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Dick: “Yeah….they’re super fun…you guys are really missing out!”
#they are both like 35 lmao#but to dick that’s like 70#bruce wayne#batman#dc#late night rambles#batfamily#clark kent#superman#superbat#dick grayson#Robin#teen titans#they are so BORING#they’re both nerds though they need this time together
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Of @ghostreblogging, Where Danny has the same tax evasion skills as his parents. Kind of a coffee shop AU, but well, its gotham.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#I cant write anything remotely serious to save my life#so here#Batman doesnt meddle with JLD entirely bc he doesnt fucking want to. also he might be a little banned.#this is why they have a wholeass dept. the issue may be in Gotham but the JLD also have individual members for this#aka it'll most likely be patched to Dick and Raven for both geographical location and the issue in question.#...who might call Tim. which will probably circle back to Bruce again because its more abt internal economy. Danny might need a lawyer#but for now he'll delegate it to supernatural-adjecent contacts. thanks#mistart#dc fanart
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Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3
Masterpost
#DC#DCU#DC Comics#Dick Grayson#Damian Wayne#Tim Drake#Wally West#Donna Troy#Roy Harper#Bruce Wayne#Nightwing#Batman#Robin#Red Robin#Flash#Arsenal#Birdflash#If you feel so inclined. It doesn't really make a difference#Garth is here he's just not on twitter because he's smart#He was looking over Wally's shoulder for this whole exchange and was the one who typed up Wally's last tweet#I just realized that both of Dick's handles are too long... but fuck it I'm keeping them anyway#Also Lian chose Roy's twitter name and she likes to say her dad's name so that's why it's there three times
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The dichotomy of Batman and Robin is so fucking funny because on one hand you have a brooding, dramatic millennial with a rigid moral compass and a sense of extensional dread, and on the other you have an emotional support child that is somehow the literal embodiment of both sunshine and straight-up murder.
#and your honor they’d throw hands for each other no questions asked#like Bruce is on the edge of a building somewhere reminiscing about his trauma and then there’s Dick who’s like doing a cartwheel#Bruce is living in an eposide of This is Us and Dick is like a Bubble Guppy but with murderous intent#and Bruce loves this strangely enthusiastic child that’s down for murder#and Dick loves his weird quiet twenty-something who has the social skills of a rat#they both see each other as the odd one out but their actual just both fucking weird#I love them#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#batfamily#batfamily headcannons#robin#dick grayson robin#robin & batman#batman and robin#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown
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Dick, eye twitching a little: "So kids are a little..." *hand gesture* "How the hell did you put up with me?"
Bruce, keeping his voice low, surveying the inhabitants of the Cave: "It wasn't easy, I thought of leaving you at a fire station once a week."
Dick: "Did you get that line from Alfred?"
Bruce:
Dick: "Nice try. Alfred told me I was a saint compared to you."
#*both of them duck to avoid a Batarang that gets thrown*#I just love the idea of things evening out a little between them with time?#Like Bruce continues to be ridiculously imperfect as a father/mentor/crime-fighting partner but they get more#and Dick is the best source of knowing him after Alfie maybe#so things even out (imperfectly) with time#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#dick grayson#personal
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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.
Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.
Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.
And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.
One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.
The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.
Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.
#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#yes the reporter is clark#hes ready to fight for b and dick#vicky vale wonders if jason todd wayne was in witness protection due to something involving the red hood#jason goes on twitter and bashes the red hood's whole persona#dick grayson retweets that red hood is trying and is just a little lost#the official batman twitter likes that tweet#it causes a huge mess for both barbara and jim gordon to clean up#they knew they shouldn't have gotten involved with gothams pet billionaire and his weird kids
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I recently learned that before New 52, Guy Gardener was at one point social worker. This got retconned during New 52 as did most of his previous backstory, however while the rest of his backstory got brought back, he's still a fucking cop.
DC is missing out on the opportunity to do the funniest shit.
Just imagine baby Dick meeting Guy for the first time as Robin and instantly ruining the secret identity thing by immediately shouting "MR. GARDNER????" Because Guy was the social worker assigned to Dick after his parents died.
When the league finds out Billy is just a child, everyone else is freaking out about how young he is while Guy is simultaneously going full social worker, asking Billy questions to make sure his uncle isn't facilitating this, and also trying to figure out why so many of his kids are in the Justice League.
He also quit being a social worker to teach children with disabilities, imagine Bruce S T R E S S I N G when this happens because having a superhero social worker made everything so much easier.
#batman#green lantern#guy gardner#dc comics#bruce wayne#robin#like seriously#how has bruce not lost custody of those kids yet#they have so many injuries I feel like the state has launched multiple investigations#I'd like to stress I do know logically he wouldn't work in both areas but still#dick grayson#billy batson#shazam
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this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor
yes that House
why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.
House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.
in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.
He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.
admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")
but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.
also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it
#tim drake#house md#I just think it would be funny#not sure how he'd feel about the rest of the family#he and Damian would not get along well#he and Jason might#Dick and Duke are too 'nice' for his tastes#he's not afraid of Cass#probably doesn't like her that much either tbh#he doesn't like that she can read him#and then just tells people when he's lying or in pain#she means well but lies are protective and help keep some things private#and he doesn't like being scrutinized#Jason is probably his favorite because they're both assholes#and Jason can actually rile Tim up and bully him (affectionately)#he hates Bruce so much#the man's need for control vs House's utter hatred of being controlled#Bruce keeps trying to steal or look at Tim's records without his permission#even though Tim is an adult and can make his own decisions#House gets ferally protective over Tim because this is HIS patient and Bruce is a fucking JACKASS#they probably do end up in a public fight at some point#because Bruce needs to keep a public face while House does not#Stephanie and Jason watch while eating popcorn#in Tim's room#Stephanie and House are largely ambivalent towards each other#they lob insults as greetings and leave it at that
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"Are the Robins child soldiers" It depends. If the story is super serious and into exploring complex morality and grounded from reality's standards, then yes. If the story is lighthearted, made for children, fluff, etc., then no. If it's somewhere in the middle, it might depend.
If an author wants to write a story seriously delving into the fucked up-ness of children fighting criminals, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a fun story about villains and heroes featuring Robin in a world where that's not an issue, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a serious story but not apply IRL-logic to Robin, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#robin#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#idk if i articulate it perfectly here but like... yall#yall.#when im watching lego: batman im not thinking of how horrific and irresponsible it is to take dick on the mission#like it is a movie for children i am there to have fun. in that moment i don't careee#but if i'm reading a fic that's dwelving deep into like jason todd's psyche and taking itself seriously w real-life accurate#psychology stuff then yeah i'm fine with also exploring how directly interfering with violent crime at such a young age might#actually affect a person's development#but like sometimes it's not that deep and robin's out there solving murders and kicking two-face's ass n havin fun doin it#just. there is nuance depending on the story being told#sometimes i'm in the mood for serious exploration of bruce's failings as a parent. sometimes i wanna read him bonding with his kids and#everything is fine.#you can have both!!!
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So in Spirit World there's two separate panels that show Cass' family/loved ones. The first I think is more circulated:
The second is this one:
These line-ups are probably different due to space/convenience, but to overanalyse these panels for a bit, it's interesting who's present in which. Bruce, Steph, and Babs are present in both - makes sense, they're the most important figures in Cass' life. Steph is front and center in both, suggesting she really is Cass' favourite person ever.
Bruce is relatively big in the top panel, but much smaller in the bottom. The top panel explicitly is about "family," while the bottom is about people who "know and love you". Bruce becoming smaller suggests that Cass thinks of him as her dad, but the 'knowing' and 'loving' part isn't as secure for her. (This is probably not intentional but reflects their dynamic very well, particularly post-Cass being sent to HK and her unresolved feelings about that).
Babs is pretty big in both, and I love that she's Oracle here (the wheelchair in the bottom panel!!). This makes total sense - the time when Babs loved and cared for her most was when she was Oracle. Cass probably still sees and remembers her that way.
Onto the interesting stuff, which is Duke being missing for 'family' but present for 'know and love you'. I think he should be in the top panel, but maybe he's too new for Cass to consider him family? Everyone in the top panel is from the bg 2000 era, so Cass might think of that time as her true 'family'. Anyway, the fact he makes it into the bottom still shows they're close, and that Cass considers him someone who understands/'knows' her.
Dick and Tim being present for 'family' and missing for 'know and love you' is so fun. Tim maybe should be present in the bottom, but recent canon hasn't made them as close as they used to be (in BG 2000 and Red Robin). So they love each other, but not to the extent of anyone in the bottom panel; he's still definitively family though.
Dick is the same, but there's a lot more sibling rivalry and complicated feelings there. It makes total sense for Cass to see him as a brother, but to not think he 'knows' or 'loves' her all that much; they do get along, but I think they remember their mistakes with each other and think the other person still holds a grudge (they don't). Peak Dick-Cass dynamic to me!
So if I had to rank Cass' favourite people in the Batfam according to these panels, it'd be: 1. Steph 2. Babs 3. Bruce 4. Tim and/or Duke 5. Dick
#cassandra cain#spirit world#stephanie brown#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#tim drake#duke thomas#dick grayson#rip damian and jason but it was correct for you guys not to be there#people thinking dick and cass hate each other... like yes but in the sibling way not in the real way they would die for each other!!#too much dick and cass discourse on here recently spirit world set them straight#steph front and center in both oh stephcass you will always be famous#alyssa wong clearly loves bg 2000 maybe that's the recipe for good stories#read spirit world!! the art is amazing and you get to see the world's coolest magician Xanthe Zhou <333
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Baby Switcharoo
Here's another short dpxdc prompt
"Daddy!" Dick instictively caught the kid before she kissed the floor despite knowing she can fly and-- wait a damned minute. That is not Mar'i.
Meanwhile...
"Papa!" Danny smiled as he braced himself for the flying missile of a child that raced to him. He swirled them around when he caught her making her giggle as her legs swing. Hold the fuck up-- This is not Ellie.
#danny and dick go on the cross-dimensional adventure to return this child before the kid finds out they're NOT dad#OR before their wives find out they lost their daughter#mar'i is EXCITED to know her papa can fly with her now which is so COOL#ellie is a bit disappointed to know that her dad is adopted by a billionnaire here#OH! Ellie will help you out of that situation dad! *cue bullying Bruce Wayne in and out of costume*#would be fun to have this as danny/blackfire#and have both dickory and blackfire/danny meet and be all like that one spiderman meme#danny would be so chill to have an ex-villain wife#and kori would have a slight crisis to the image of an alternate of her husband being married to her sister who had tormented her yrs ago#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#Baby Switcharoo AU
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I'm sure one of the Batkids has tried that whole "I'm locking you in this room to go sacrifice myself" schtick with Bruce and assured themselves that the plan would work because Bruce was 1) already injured and 2) down to just his armor, no utility belt or weapons/devices.
but what they didn't account for was the fact that Bruce would absolutely, 100% bust down that door with his bare hands, splitting the knuckles open and fracturing his fingers and ruining his gloves and armor if needed. he would break that door and probably the wall if it meant getting to his Robin before he did something dumb like pull a last-minute self-sacrifice plan.
#imagine being robin ready to sacrifice yourself#and then your bleeding wheezing father scoops you up by your cape like a bad cat#and somehow saves you both#and he's FURIOUS#you can tell just by how he's breathing#but also#you didn't account for him trying this hard#for wanting to save you this badly#you thought you were expendable to gotha#that was the whole point of the mission right?#bruce wayne#batman#dc#robin#dick grayson#or jason todd tbh#bats and birds#insp by the wolverine scene#you know the one#batfamily
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Honestly I do in fact love it when ppl hc white characters as asian (Tim drake LMAO) bc I'm so fuckin tired of this is *very asian* name, (probably not even the right language) (cho chang I'm staring you dead in the eyes and there's a red dot on jkrs forehead) and they love noodles or speak broken English or are SO good at martial arts, or their mum is overbearing! And that's literally fuckin it!! That's the character!?!
Like where tf are my Asians that grow up speaking English, but love and explore their culture? Where are my mixed asians that might NOT be from China, Japan or Korea? Where are my mixed asians that "don't look asian" but are still asian? Like sometimes you don't have stereotypically "asian features" and guess what? YOU ARE STILL ASIAN!!
I love seeing ppl take these characters and hc them as asian bc they have a full characterisation that DOESN'T hinge on stereotypes!!
Like yea asian Tim drake doesn't add anything to the plot but it adds to his character and he can still have done all that WHILE being asian?? He can have that backstory, go on that travel, have that adventure and be asian! And it doesn't take anything away from him!!!
He can ALSO be hc as learning more about his asian heritage and culture while being in character!!!
Like ppl can say dragon Tim drake, Tim idolised Jason, and all those hc but some people get butthurt by asian Tim drake?
Insanity. Let ppl enjoy things!!!
(I'm a lil tipsy lmao so this may be insane but I wanna Speak)
#tim drake#batfam#batman#tim drake wayne#batfamily headcanons#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#asian tim drake#dragon tim drake#this is not knocking dragon tim#but like#why have only one#you CAN have both guys
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I wholly and solidly believe that Bruce can cook. You don’t travel the world the way he did without being able to cook yourself some basic meals when you either can’t go out and get something or don’t currently have the money for it.
So yes, Bruce can cook. Does he cook the most amazing meals in the world? No. But can he cook something edible or something that doesn’t taste like straight up sludge and muck? Absolutely.
I imagine his kids constantly rib on him that he lacks basic survival skills because even if he’s Batman, he’s still a rich kid. And then Bruce sighs and tells Alfred that he’ll handle dinner tonight. The kids all prepare themselves to either not eat for the night or grab some take out, but they still arrive at the dinner table, *just* out of curiosity.
It’s not extravagant. It’s a pot of pasta, a tiny bit over cooked, and meatballs. He even added a tossed salad as a side. They stare at it like it’s going to eat *them*.
Bruce, sits down and makes a plate for himself. Takes a bite. They watch him, waiting for any kind of reaction that it’s bad. Bruce just takes another bite.
Tim, “Fuck it. It can’t kill me.”
He takes a seat and makes his own plate. Takes a bite. His eyes go wide and Dick has 911 ready to dial.
Dick, “Are you okay?”
Tim takes another bite. They all sit and stare and wait.
Tim, “Damn.”
Bruce, “Hm?”
Tim, “You tricked me. Alfred made this, didn’t he? You’re passing his food off as yours.”
Bruce smiles.
Bruce, “While I appreciate the compliment, I can assure you that Alfred had no hand in this. Besides, he’s a much better cook than I am. I just know the basics.”
The others all join in, spaghetti and meatballs on their plates. They all begrudgingly take a bite. And yeah. Tim’s right. It’s good. Not winning any awards, but it’s good home cooked food.
#I truly believe bruce has a bunch of skills people don’t consider a rich kid to have#some of it is for the sake of batman but some of it is just because bruce likes doing certain things#cooking is a skill he picked up for both reasons#alfred is very proud of him#bruce wayne#tim drake#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#batfamily#batfam#batman#my post
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Let’s be honest, the only thing funnier than Dick and Bruce trying to co-parent Damian is Dick, Bruce, and Jason trying to co-parent Damian.
#jason adopts that kid in the LoA and comes back to Gotham like wtf you mean I don’t get him every other weekend?#dick and bruce are both pissed they have to divide their visiting weeks into thirds instead of halves#it’s one thing to roll up to the parent teacher conference with two dads but showing up with three is a whole other thing#Damian: my dad said I can’t come over#Jon: okay but which one??#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#jason todd#damian and jon#damian wayne#dc robin#batman family#dc nightwing#red hood
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