#and before i start getting hate to the level that it kills my desire to write in this fandom anymore

[mischievouslittlecreature]

RIGHT. So. I was really, REALLY hoping that I wouldn't have to make a post announcing this, because the last thing I want to do is cause any problems/drama, but I feel like I need to give a heads up/explanation or something for some new...I guess policy changes regarding who I will be blocking in the future. So here we go.

From now on, if I see you posting incredibly aggressive/nasty hate regarding Grace Burgess or people who are fans of Grace, I'm just going to instablock you.

I've already had some...let's just say not so great/passive aggressive comments on some of my Peaky Blinders fics and posts featuring my OC. Therefore, I've made this decision in an attempt to deter that from continuing to happen before it saps all of my love and enjoyment out of my writing for this fandom.

In all honesty, the Peaky Blinders fandom kinda intimidates and scares the shit out of me. I'm already pretty paranoid about receiving hate, so this was just sort of the nail in the coffin as far as my tolerance for this stuff.

Personally, I like Grace as a character and I have chosen to portray her and her relationship with Tommy and my OC as positive. I understand that for many, you probably don't like/agree with that choice which is fine. But I am also not going to unnecessarily open myself up to getting sent shit over this.

I want to make it clear: I do not care if you like or dislike Grace. Hell, I get it. The way many of you feel about Grace is probably how I feel about Lizzie. That isn't what this is about. This is about me needing to make sure that I keep my fandom and writing experience as positive for myself as I can. Frankly, if you constantly are posting things that are nasty about Grace or her fans, I don't trust you anymore to not come onto my blog and leave me hate comments. But at the same time, if I block you and you're someone who posts negative stuff about Grace, please don't take it personally. I'm sure that most of you are nice people who wouldn't be shitty and comment mean stuff about someone's fic or posts. I'm just trying to take preventative measures to make sure to limit the possibility of me receiving hate.

[thegoldencontracts]

What Do You Want?

Summary: You try to approach Azul with an offer. His response is- odd, to say the least.

Notes: My heart wants fluff to make up for the angst yesterday... im sorry T_T

The moment you'd first seen Azul, you thought he was pretty. Then, you started noticing other little cool things about him. And before you knew it, you had a crush.

"You're- so stupid!" Ace said with a laugh. "You actually think Azul Ashengrotto would ever like anyone? Best outcome is, he tries to scam you but you barely manage to win."

"I've got a point-card!" You said cheerily. "And I've made a rough outline of what I want my contract to look like."

The 'outline' was only one sentence, but Ace didn't need to know that.

At that moment, though, Ace's eyes widened.

"You're actually gonna do it?" He said, the grin fading from his face.

"Yeah," you said. You were going to try and make a contract with him, see what happened. Maybe it wouldn't work out. But hey, you'd never know if you didn't try!

Besides, you had a plan. And that plan was what brought you to the VIP room, a golden point card in hand.

"Ah, what a pleasant surprise it is to see you here!" Azul said with a salesman's grin that somehow still looked cute. "I was under the impression you couldn't afford point-cards."

You laughed.

"It's lovely what happens when you make people compensate you for your labor," you said. And it was true. Telling people you'd do something for a free meal at the Lounge got you point cards and food witthout any complaints. For some reason, people were more willing to do that than give you the money straight-up, even if the expensive meals usually meant they'd have to pay more. Whatever.

"Oh," Azul said, before quickly changing the topic. "So what exactly is your desire?"

You smirked.

"Azul," you said. "Considering the ranking of the Golden card, that means you have to accept any contract I propose, so long as it doesn't pose direct harm to your mental or physical wellbeing in some way, shape, or form, correct?"

Azul's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Correct, however, you're forgetting-"

"The impact limit, yes," you said. "If the wish in question requires maiming, killing, or mentally scarring any individual, whether or not you agree to grant it becomes a decision entirely at your discretion."

At this point, Azul was looking at you like you'd grown two heads.

"Your point is...?" He asked.

"I won't have to make any other payment for my wish then, correct?" You said. You knew how these exchanges worked, and you did not want to get scammed.

Azul bit his lip.

"Fine, fine, you 'win', I suppose. Just- tell me what exactly it is you desire," he said.

You smiled, handing him a piece of paper with the draft of your contract on it. Azul's eyes widened in shock at its contents.

'Be my friend!' it said.

"Sooooo, what do you think?" You asked.

Azul shot you a glare. Harsh.

"What do you want?"

"I already told you- well, wrote to you, I guess, but-"

"No," Azul said, voice dangerously level. "What do you truly want?"

"Be my friend!" You said, flashing him a thumbs up. But Azul was still angry. Did he just hate you or something?

"I don't appreciate such juvenile attempts at mockery," he said. "If you have no true wish to make, then I shall have you escorted out."

You sighed. Seriously, this was getting annoying. Did he want to avoid you that badly?

"Look," you said. "I already laid it all out - you should try being my friend! And if you don't like it, then you stop! Simple as that, right?"

Azul scoffed.

"That's preposterous," he said. "No one would ever want such a thing-"

"Well, I want it," you said, before sighing. "Look, is it really that big of a deal?"

At that, Azul seemed to malfunction, like he couldn't possibly comprehend what you were saying. That was weird. Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't he going to try and scam you or something?

At long last, Azul shook away the red dusting his cheeks, handing you a pamphlet.

"Take this for now," he said. It was a study guide for Alchemy. "And keep the point card. I'll continue my inquiry tomorrow during lunch, so prepare yourself. Now then, leave."

"Great! See you tomorrow lunch then, Azul."

You took the study guide and headed for the exit. The study guide was pretty good, actually. And there was that little chibi doodle with hearts around it - you didn't know where it came from, but it kind of reminded you of yourself!

So, hey, it seemed like things were going pretty well.

Meanwhile, Azul was in a panic.

"The Prefect's caught on, I'm certain of it!" He said to Floyd and Jade, furiously flipping through his book of contingency plans for any type of social situation gone wrong. "Why else would such an odd request be made of me?"

Floyd rolled his eyes.

"Cause Shrimpy wanted to be your friend?" He said.

"No one would ever desire such a thing!" Azul said. "The Prefect's found out about that foolish little crush of mine, and decided to make a fool out of me. There's no other explanation!"

It was a sensible explanation, wasn't it? Common, too. It had happened to Azul all the time back then. He simply had to make sure he didn't slip, that he established consequences for all those who attempted to mess with him now.

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of Jade's laughter.

"What seems to be the matter, Jade? Do enlighten me," Azul asked dryly.

"You made an error in your panicked frenzy with the Prefect, that's all," Jade said. "The study guide you gave was the one with the doodles."

Azul felt his mouth go dry.

"W-What?"

"The one filled with countless doodles of your little crush, surrounded by hearts."

O-Of all the study guides, why that one?

Seven, how he wished to crawl into an octopus pot right now. But for now, all he could settle for was burying his face in his hands, left alone with his thoughts as he tuned Jade and Floyd out entirely.

He hadn't believed it, but- what if you were being sincere? What if you truly did want to grow closer to him? Yes, it was true that such a thing had never occurred in the past, meaning an analysis of past trends would seem such a thing impossible, and this sort of trick had been played on him countless times before but-

You seemed oddly sincere about it. And, frankly, he wanted you to be.

Azul couldn't help but sigh. Though it would likely cause him problems later, for now, he couldn't help but let himself hope.

[drchucktingle]

queer horror memory lane

i know this screenshot above is just way of some algorithm but seeing these books together i am so honored youve allowed me to open my heart and trot out my art in this unique way. having two well received queer horror books (and third on way) is amazing given where i started my trot. thank you

easy to talk on 'death of unique art' these days but if you look at my story it is powerful example that buckaroos have a taste for challenging or untraditional figures in art. this is NOT to my credit, this is to YOUR credit. YOU have supported queer autistic art. i am so moved

i am already a pretty optimistic bud but still BLOWN AWAY by way my trot has been embraced over time. i recognize my perspective is 'strange' to many but to see the way this unique way was once treated with irony and now sincerity has bloomed in its place. it brings tears of joy

as i trot down my QUEER HORROR memory lane i am going to repost TRAILER for each book just because i have been basking in these memories and recalling the slow embrace of this timeline around me. thank you for allowing me this space i am so humbled and honored. LOVE IS REAL

STRAIGHT

When a strange tear in the cosmos appears within Earth’s annual path, the consequences are disastrous. For one night a year, the vast majority of humans now undergo a frightening mental change, transforming into hateful, rage-fueled zombies who will stop at nothing to satiate their desire for brutality.

While not much is understood about this horrific mass hysteria, the demographic it effects is very specific: cisgender straight people. 

A few years after the first of these tragic events, four friends from across the queer spectrum look for safety in solitude, hunkering down in a remote desert cabin for what is now known as Saturation Day. With a vaccine available for straight people to curb their violent episodes, some predict the worst is over. Others aren’t so sure.

As night falls, it becomes clear that survival isn’t guaranteed this Saturation Day.

GET STRAIGHT HERE

CAMP DAMASCUS

From beloved internet icon Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus is a searing and earnest horror debut about the demons the queer community faces in America, the price of keeping secrets, and finding the courage to burn it all down. Welcome to Neverton, Montana: home to a God-fearing community with a heart of gold. Nestled high up in the mountains is Camp Damascus, the self-proclaimed “most effective” gay conversion camp in the country. Here, a life free from sin awaits. But the secret behind that success is anything but holy. And they’ll scare you straight to hell.

GET CAMP DAMASCUS HERE

BURY YOUR GAYS

Misha knows that chasing success in Hollywood can be hell.

But finally, after years of trying to make it, his big moment is here: an Oscar nomination. And the executives at the studio for his long-running streaming series know just the thing to kick his career to the next level: kill off the gay characters, "for the algorithm," in the upcoming season finale.

Misha refuses, but he soon realizes that he’s just put a target on his back. And what’s worse, monsters from his horror movie days are stalking him and his friends through the hills above Los Angeles.

Haunted by his past, Misha must risk his entire future―before the horrors from the silver screen find a way to bury him for good.

PREORDER BURY YOUR GAYS HERE

i am blessed by your support, your love, and your kindness. cannot believe how lucky i am to trot with you in all in this way and i cant WAIT to see what the future of this timeline holds for us. thank you for proving love with me from the past to the future

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged theory

Sanemi and Giyuu are exes (Part 1)

In celebration of the canonization* of my favorite couple, I've decided to try to get out of my writing funk by writing this theory. There's a teeny tiny spoiler included for those of you who haven't read the manga. So bewareeeeee.

Ok so, whenever I think of the actual-current-canon-in-the-anime/manga relationship between these two, something about their animosity just seems off. Even though they don't 'like' each other, and they clash a lot, their interactions give this "We used to be somewhat close" energy. Whether it's ex-friends/boyfriends doesn't matter, the point is that I feel these two have history.

So lemme explain:

Hide yo coins cuz I'm finna reaching with this one 😂

The beginning

I think their relationship started around the time when Sanemi became a Hashira. He was still raw and hurt over the death of Masachika, his new colleagues have a terrible first impression of him, plus he just got the news that Genya has joined the Corps and there's nothing he can do about it. Needless to say, our boy isn't doing so well.

Enter Giyuu, he's new to the Corps too(I figured he joined a bit earlier than Sanemi), Obanai isn't here yet for Sanemi to bond with, and he's an outcast so they would probably gravitate to one another even if they don't realize.

Maybe they went on joint missions and during that time they would have to communicate to one another. Sanemi was probably the one who initiated the conversations and I know this seems unbelievable but don't forget Sanemi has a general openness of 60% while Giyuu has 30% so it's not so far off for Sanemi to try to communicate with him.

Giyuu liked Sanemi, it was probably one of those love-at-first-sight kind of things, but his constant NLOG statements, general aloofness and social ineptitude prevented him from connecting with Sanemi properly. And like I said earlier, Sanemi was still emotionally raw so a lot of Giyuu's actions and mannerisms were probably triggering for him given his background and after many attempts to connect with this guy albeit in his own aggressive way, but he doesn't have the patience to understand Giyuu's words and behavior.

The breakup

Aside from miscommunication, I think the factors that led to their breakup were Giyuu's depression, imposter syndrome and Sanemi's depression and low self-esteem.

Giyuu probably told him one time, "I'm not like you." and refused to elaborate, so Sanemi interpreted that statement as Giyuu looking down on him. He got embarrassed, angry but most of all hurt because of course, he's not dumb he knows how far apart they are when it comes to class. Before becoming a Slayer Giyuu came from a well-to-do family, he's attractive, he's educated, he speaks well and he can write.

So why would someone like Giyuu want to be with an ugly, monstrous, ghetto rat like him? He couldn't tell all this to Giyuu because doing that would require him to be vulnerable and Sanemi would rather die. So he did the thing he always does when he gets hurt, he withdrew. Then proceeded to cover up his pain with anger and his shame with pride.

Giyuu, on the other hand, was oblivious to Sanemi's pain and just assumed that he was just 'hot-tempered'. Around this time, Obanai joined the Hashira and he and Sanemi became fast friends. Finally! Here was someone Sanemi was able to relate to, someone who has the same level of openness, who had similar traumatic experiences, has an equally suicidal desire to kill demons and most importantly someone who doesn't look down on him.

When Obanai encountered Giyuu for the first time probably in his first Hashira meeting, he asked Sanemi about the weird, sad guy who stood way off to the side. Sanemi being comfortable around Obanai tells him about Giyuu, his attitude and their history and Obanai is like 'What an asshole!' and like a true bro starts hating Giyuu in solidarity with Sanemi, much to Giyuu's confusion.

Thus began Sanemi's one-sided antagonistic relationship with Giyuu, but no matter how hard he tried to hate him, deep down Sanemi still cares, and he still wants to connect with Giyuu, but he can't risk being hurt again. Giyuu still views Sanemi as a friend and doesn't realize yet that Sanemi was gone - physically and emotionally.

Then after his first and second encounter with Tanjiro in the first season, I believe that there was a massive but subtle change within him that led him to begin a more active approach in his attempts to connect with Sanemi, and he does so in a really clumsy way that only makes Sanemi even more annoyed.

Giyuu didn't know at the time, but he had an opportunity to get back with Sanemi, and that was when the Master asked the other Hashira to try to make him happy so he would open up.

Shinobu who noticed Giyuu's pining after Sanemi figured that an invitation to eat his favorite food from his favorite person would help Giyuu to open up. Not knowing about Sanemi's beef with Giyuu, she made the request, but that just made him angry as all the emotions he tried to bury came to the surface. Why did he have to reach out? So he can get rejected again? Embarrassed again? Hurt again?

Shinobu being the sneaky manipulator she is used the Master as bait which worked and Sanemi begrudgingly, painfully approached Giyuu and Giyuu in his infinite knowledge replied with a "No" as the start in his response instead of simply telling Sanemi that he was full and that they could go eat later.

Another embarrassing rejection, which made Sanemi snap with an emotion so fierce that he didn't even listen to the rest of the response. All he heard was the cold "No", all he saw was Giyuu's aloof expression, like his Sanemi meant so little to him. Giyuu fucked up, and oblivious as always was left wondering why Sanemi was so angry at him, but his desire to connect with this grumpy man remained unquenched.

So what now?

Well, what follows is a slew of weird interactions between two people who are frustrated with but ultimately drawn to each other.

In the episode where the Hashira were first introduced, Giyuu probably hadn't seen Sanemi in a long time, which was why when he looked when he heard Sanemi's voice.

He also doesn't interfere when Nezuko gets stabbed but when it seems that there might actually be a fight between his love and his son he tries to stop the fight the only way he knows by invoking the Master, which works in distracting Sanemi but not on Tanjiro who is already on a warpath and proceeds to introduce Sanemi to his forehead. Notice that this is the only time aside from his introduction that we see him actually have a visible reaction.

During the indoor meeting, Giyuu sits close to Sanemi like everything is all normal. When Sanemi blames him for the distraction he replies in a friendly tone mocking him like they're friends, because to him Sanemi is just being grumpy. He genuinely doesn't think anything's wrong.

In the next Hashira meeting, he tries the friendly mocking thing again but Sanemi is having none of that. His expression kills me everytime 😂, like mans was ready to scrap.

It reminds me of the 'You have to treat a car like you treat a woman' scene in Ben 10.

Sanemi, the pissed off wife: Go on.

Giyuu, the whipped husband: No, I sense I've made a mistake of some kind.

Obanai being the precious gem that he is, is ready to back his bro up.

Then after Amane left, something changed in Sanemi. In one of my previous posts, I talked about his attempts to reach out to Giyuu by questioning him, but why did he do it? Of all the times, why did he try to confront Giyuu now?

I think it's because of what Amane told them about the Demon slayer marks, about how the mark bearers don't live past 25. Take a look at his expression, he's surprised obviously, but there's something else mixed in.

I figured he knows they're in the endgame now, with the possibility of Muzan coming for Nezuko now that she can conquer the sun. There's no problem this is what he's prepared for, he's always accepted his death as an inevitable outcome but what about Giyuu?

He just realized the unlocking of the marks means that Giyuu would die too. After all this time he still cares and the fact that they could both die without them even trying to mend their relationship scares Sanemi and remember in this post discussing Sanemi's mental health how his impulsive actions are most likely done out of fear, well this is one of them.

Giyuu says the regular NLOG stuff which triggers Sanemi, but instead of running away he confronts him instead. He tries to work past his feelings of inferiority and really listen to Giyuu's words. He tried reaching out in a sort of friendly way with a smile, even if his words came out as aggressive.

Giyuu as usual doesn't elaborate, but Sanemi has had enough, so he literally reaches out for Giyuu, ready to pull his man by the weave if it means that he'll finally get an answer.

Then Gyomei daddy claps, everyone shuts the fuck up, you know the rest. Shoutout to Mitsuri for being the highlight of that scene, she's honestly the best girl 😂.

The first attempt failed, but Sanemi undeterred goes to confront Giyuu again, but this time he tries a different approach. He asks Giyuu to spar with him, maybe he thinks the heightened emotions would cause Giyuu to erupt and reveal his true feelings, maybe he wants to wear Giyuu down so he would be willing to answer Sanemi's question but unfortunately it doesn't work...or so he thinks.

Unknown to Sanemi, this time there was a difference and that was Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤). After the successful Torture the Introvert mission, Giyuu now has a renewed sense of self in a way and he's now willing to make a more active approach towards opening up to people. I already talked about the romantic undertones of his desire to get closer to Sanemi here and here so I wouldn't really get into Giyuu and Tanjiro's conversation after Sanemi left but suffice to say that our Giyuu is a new man. He knows what he wants now and what he wants is Sanemi.

In Conclusion, here's part two.

*Extra stuff

I noticed that even though Giyuu seems emotionless, his hands tell a different story. In Demon slayer, I've noticed that the characters' veins on their faces pop to display strong emotions or reactions. Giyuu doesn't have on his face when they're fighting, unlike Sanemi, but he does have on his hands.

This is the first time (that I know of) that we're seeing this, which tells me that he does feel something. He just doesn't know how to express it.

Also, I'd like to attribute Sanemi's persistence with getting Giyuu to open up to him being the eldest child, we all have the experience of pestering our younger ones until they give in and respond to us. Tanjiro is the same way as well.

Also, Sanemi be treating Tanjiro like an opp when our precious boy is basically his biggest supporter and possibly their future Best Man 😂.

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying it's canon canon, I'm just stating that Ufotable acknowledges this ship, which means that they see something between them too.

[sukunasweetheart]

according to some fans sukuna could also be a r*pist.what's ur thought on that?

Tw: discussions of rape

Im guessing this is rooted from the moment where he asked about the women and children 😭 which is odd, because he literally said "it'll be a massacre!" right after... he had murderous intent, not lust. Or maybe women and children taste better!

I know if you look at my masterlist you'll see a couple of dubcon fics and its true i like dabbling into dark content with sukuna quite often, but canonically speaking, sukuna has never been portrayed as an inherently sexual individual.

He is quite the opposite in fact, he is a complete nerd for jujutsu, he values strength above all and i just don't see him being interested in raping someone...? Though i understand him committing atrocities and believing that the "weak" deserve to endure their own suffering has kind of led to people getting the idea that he wouldn't be opposed against raping someone but i really disagree with this idea

He has shown time and time again that he is completely uninterested in weak people, in fact, he doesn't even give them the time of his day - most of sukuna's victims have been killed off quite quickly and without him paying much attention to them at all, he simply doesn't care about those who don't match his bare minimum expectations.

And those that he does end up liking to some degree, people who have the power to give him a somewhat worthy fight, he does respect them in his own way, which is indicated by him learning their full name and being more responsive and engaged when he's fighting them. When he was fighting yorozu, she asked him to "wait!" even after they had started fighting, and i found it interesting that he actually stopped and heard her out before continuing the fight. Additionally we can see from uraume's relationship with him, he is also not keen to abuse them at all, in fact he is quite chill with them??

If sukuna is uninterested, he does not even bother looking at them twice. When he is interested in someone, he has shown he maintains a level of respect for them. In my opinion, it doesn't matter whether this interest is romantic or platonic, i think one can depict a lot about the other...

I definitely don't think he doesn't rape because he thinks its morally wrong or whatever, i feel like he just 1) lacks an inherent desire for sex (he is more infatuated with a person's strength and jujutsu) 2) he doesn't go out of his way to torment those weaker than him, he is just that disinterested in weak people 3) to people that he ends up liking to some extent, he respects.

Sukuna is a very sexualised character (i dont hate it, in fact i love it a lot 😍) which i think makes him more prone to easy misunderstandings that he is sexually impulsive as well, but gege has shown us its really not the case! (Yorozu came over with her whole pumpum out and he did not bat an eyelash)

Please take anything i say here with a grain of salt, i am obviously not gege akutami so i wouldnt dare to say i know sukuna inside and out, but this is just my honest thoughts on this question!

I won't completely rule out the idea that he may be a rapist, gege hasn't portrayed his past, we barely know anything about sukuna personally- but judging from what we already have canonically, i don't think he would be a rapist.

I know that in fanfics, almost anything is game and i really enjoy viewing sukuna from all kinds of angles and perspectives, i truly believe he is such an interesting and appealing character, i could also write up a whole essay about how flexible he is to write with, but this is already quite a lengthy response to a simple question so i will leave it here 😭

[rowena-rain]

Sooo in your fic is it canon that Voldemort is completely and utterly oblivious to how relationships/attraction works while Harry is objectively the more 'experienced' person? Cuz that's what it seems like tbh. Vee is SUCH an idiot sometimes. He wants to fuck Harry so bad it makes him look (and think) stupid.

Great question! I apologize in advance—I can already tell this is gonna be a long Voldemort meta post lol.

My head canon for Voldemort more generally—but particularly in the Heir de la Mort—is that he falls somewhere on the Asexual Spectrum (I don’t consider Cursed Child canon, btw). Specifically, I think of him as basically aroace with a big exception for Harry.

He may have had sex in his younger years as Tom Riddle, but if he did, it was purely transactional. Just another tool to manipulate people or get something he wanted.

A big part of his becoming “Lord Voldemort” is that he tries very hard to shed any semblance of humanity because for him, it represents vulnerability and his humble origins as the poor, unwanted kid who grew up in a muggle orphanage. Part of that shedding of humanity is (at least outwardly) rejecting things like relationships and sex because he believes those are weak things that mere mortals do. So, once he fully adopts the persona of Voldemort, I don’t think he even has transactional sex anymore.

I do see him as having a general desire for human connection (though this gets more and more repressed the older he gets). But he’s never actually felt sexual passion or desire, let alone romantic love, for another person.

That is, until Harry comes along.

I think Voldemort initially feels pulled to Harry because of the horcrux, even before he knows about its existence. The fact that Harry literally contains a piece of his own SOUL makes him grow to understand Harry in a way he’s never understood anyone before, and that opens the door for him to start feeling emotions he’s never felt.

So, long-story short, I guess, Voldemort is oblivious here because he’s experiencing actual attraction to another person for the very first time in 70+ years! Up until now, he’s been too single-mindedly focused on killing Harry to really notice anything unusual going on, or if he did, he probably just chalked it up to really, really, REALLY hating him and wanting him dead. But now that he isn’t actively trying to kill him, he has the opportunity to feel new things. At first through the horcrux connection, but as time goes on, that line will become more and more blurred.

It also doesn’t help that he’s severely lacking in self-awareness more generally. Like, he’s magically brilliant, no doubt. He’s very book smart, very clever, cunning, etc. And he’s exceptionally good at manipulating others, which means he has to have some level of emotional intelligence… He just reaaaallly doesn’t have the self-awareness part. Or the empathy part (yet).

But Harry is a mirror—not just because he contains part of Voldemort’s soul, but also because he’s the only one bold enough to stand up to him. Basically, through Harry, Voldemort is slowly being forced into a situation where he has to confront his own humanity and start actually learning empathy. But I don’t wanna say too much, so I’ll stop now :)

[teddie-bear420]

BEACH DAY!!

The princess’ and their knights play a friendly game of volleyball! Tensions run high after a foul ball is struck!

Additional doodles and rambles down below! All about this situationship

(I imagine this whole thing happened before the attack on the hotel, where Charlie and vaggie get to sick around in heaven per the request of Emily (the nepotism baby)! Vaggie would get more time to try and tell Charlie that she’s an angel and we get a building rivalry between Charlie and lute/Adam)

So here we are… my ultimate toxic yuri ship, all the other combos have some level of love and softness to them. Charlie and vaggie are just head over heels for each other.

Charlie and Emily are two love birds who always hold hands and giggle at each other.

But Charlie and lute? It is just teeth and blades, not an ounce of care

THEY HATE EACH OTHER

lute (in my tormented mind) has the subconscious desire to kill her partner (she got that mantis thing going on)(girls is bugs). The low key homophobia that she was raised with has led her to the mind set of, “if I can’t have you, no one can”

So any feelings of desire or love feels foreign and blasphemous, hatred is familiar however. Hatred is righteous to lute,

So she HATESSS LUTE IS THE HATER

They hiss titles out, refusing to use the others name, not even around other people!

I think that’s how vaggie never knew Charlie and lute had ever met, Charlie came back to the hotel disheartened and only called her ‘the lieutenant’ very spitefully. You can find charlie grumbling about a “stupid commander” if you ask her about her meeting with Adam. (During that meeting lute called her a dog needing to be put down) (she is so mean)(she gets worse once you get to know her)

Lute on the other hand will spit Charlie’s status back in her face, along with many colorful names (princess, Hellspawn, a bad dog) and grinds her teeth when ever Emily gushes about her budding friendship with Charlie. She starts to play second fiddle to in her own situationship (emilyxlute)

That’s all I got for now!

[taki118]

IruClarAzz Master Post Part 14

Just collecting all of the cuteness of the Love Trio and adding my commentary. Spoilers ahead very current with the manga. (Also warning I may make jabs at the IruAmeri ship here and there just small comparisons showing why I don’t like it as much, no hate but if you don’t like your ship being talked about even slightly negatively probably look away.)

If you didn’t see it Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here, Part 3 here Part 4 here  Part 5 here Part 6 here Part 7 here Part 8 here Bonus here Part 9 here Part 10 here Part 11 here Part 12 here Part 13 here

Ok so now Clara understands Azz's concerns hahaha

Year of the Snake art so Jazz is here but....what matters to azz is the adorable pair play fighting behind him. (Note Clara is wearing pink)

Hahaha now Lied is on the receiving end of soulmate jealousy hahaha

Azz trying to push Lied away haha.

Clara is embarrassed by her test results and their concern is so cute

and this starts dear god we are eating ya'll these chapters are killing me

look at the little blushes on both of them

Look at them trying to cheer her up in their own ways

I love they are trying to meet her on her level

But its not helping much, so Iruma asks what Clara would want to do when she passes

Gets a very Clara answer.

This is so sweet

Azz your Tsundere is showing, her face is too precious though and this is where the trouble starts. See Azz left his coat with his special evil cycle pills and well guess who took one

Those are heart shaped pillows the exact same size, just sayin

I just want to point out the character growth their antics use to make Iruma concerned but now he enjoys it and doesnt want to miss out

Thats a very platonic face you're making there Iruma

Clara's evil cycle is just full on yandere mode

Azz realizes pretty quick what just happened

Again very platonic expression, and Azz why are you so upset hmm?

I just this shit got real kinky real quick haha. also theres hearts on the collars

Again the fact that Clara is doing the same thing to Azz as she's doing to Iruma tells me that they are on the same or very close levels in her mind

She's using love a lot, and while Azz will argue being kept here is wrong he's not saying shes wrong when she says they love her

Like hes so blushy he can't fully process.

I said this all the way back when Love trio was first uttered but I think Clara knows exactly what she wants from their relationship she just doesn't have the words but those desires are coming out in her evil cycle a bit.

I'm dying ya'll waiting for the next chapter, sadly it'll be a while before next update

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x05 The Duke and I

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

It's episode five! Things are getting spicy! ;) While there's not a ton in this episode, there are some BIG developments...

Tomatoes

Alright, so I should mention before we get too into this scene, that it kicks off with mentioning the money issues the Featheringtons are about to have. It's part of the reason Portia is gonna push Marina marrying Colin so hard. Having a wealthy Bridgerton in her pocket kills two birds with one stone.

Alright, so this is day who knows how long of this courtship has been going on, and after the events of last episode, Penelope is no longer thinking this whole thing is cute or tolerable anymore. It's a combination of -- she's fucking with the man I love and the man I love is being fucked with, which are two different things. Yes, she is protective of her feelings and has no desire to watch Colin be with someone else. But she's also very protective of Colin in general - because they do have a relationship. It may not be romantic, but there are mutual feelings of friendship, and she sincerely does not like that Marina is manipulating him.

But of course - the look on her face here is pure jealousy. Because Colin is bringing flowers to Marina every day. And Marina doesn't really care all that much, but oh, how Penelope would love to be courted, love to be romanced, love to have the attention of any one showering her gifts and compliments. But the fact that it's not just some guy that she could live vicariously through Marina with, it's Colin, which makes it intolerable.

Meanwhile, oh Colin, lost in his own fantasies. He loves playing this role of romantic hero. He brings in flowers every time for Marina -- because it's a way to show he cares about her. It's also, probably, proper gentlemanly contact to bring gifts during a courtship. But it's also interesting -- that the whole reason this tomato discourse kicks off is that he wants to surprise her, be unpredictable, make himself stand out when it comes to the courtship.

Also, I'm really entertained by the thought that a bushel of tomatoes would be used as a courtship device. Nothing says romance quite like the tomato. (As much as I'm being cheeky about it, I do love a bit of spontaneity and absurdity in a relationship, so I do approve of Colin's ridiculousness here.)

I LOVE the tomato discourse. I love it.

I love that Penelope can't even help herself by injecting her comments. She is gonna meddle, but it's going to be on a simpler level to start with. Just a throwaway comment that really doesn't raise eyebrows (at first) that Marina doesn't like tomatoes. Which undermines the act that Marina is throwing at Colin (and Pen so notes this -- and, honestly, she's probably a bit amused that Colin picked something that Marina probably does actively hate).

Then, of course, after Marina kind of brushes that comment off, Pen digs in a little more -- suggesting the best place to go get tomatoes is... Greece. (My god, this cracks me up every time -- is Greece known for it's tomatoes??) And I love that she says this with a smile, playing it off as if she were just trying to be helpful. Then she suggests Colin bring her back a bunch (because I'm sure they'd survive the trip) after he gets back from Greece. Oohh, Pen, it's a longshot stall tactic, but if she can just put this courtship on delay...

It's fascinating watching Marina in this moment. She KNOWS that Penelope is up to meddling. She knows that she's intentionally trying to stop things from progressing forward, but the interesting thing is that she doesn't know why Pen is doing it. I mean, I kind of think it's obvious, but Marina, at this point, has begun to trust Penelope as a friend -- so it just comes off as her being super weird.

Colin, meanwhile, is a bit baffled by Penelope. He doesn't really catch on that she's meddling -- thinks, more so, that she's being a little obtuse, and that is not catching on that he'd rather see how things work out with Marina. But...

There are a couple of interesting dynamics going on in this last little bit.

First of all, the comfort in which Pen and Colin speak to each other says a lot. There's no formality between them. They speak with each other at ease, in the way siblings would talk with each other. Colin, no doubt, probably does think of Pen a bit like Eloise in this moment. He even calls her Pen, here, which is kind of unusual when you think about it, because they're at her house and not his. And the way he kind of dismissively states he's unsure of his travel plans -- it's said, almost irritatingly, in the way you'd want to tell your younger sibling to bugger off, I'm trying to hook up with this girl...

When Pen brings up his travel plans, she mentions that he's always been interested in travel. And while this is a calculated thought - a way to re-inspire desires that he has probably for sure talked about at great length when she's been over to visit Eloise -- I think there's some sincerity here, too. I think she can recognize a desire to go out and see the world, and the idea of him closing the door on that opportunity -- especially for Marina, who is manipulating a relationship with him, and will saddle him with fatherhood at such a young age really does get to her.

Which is why it's more complex than -- I have a crush on a boy, if I get him out of the country, he won't hook up with the pregnant lady and be stuck with her.

Colin then has a line that REALLY sticks out to me. :: 'Were I to go, there are things in London I'd miss more than seeing the world.'

This line hits a little harder when you sit down and think about it. I don't doubt that Colin has an adventurous spirit -- more so than either of his older brothers. But I think also, unlike them (well, Benedict is going to go about it another way) Colin is searching for something. He isn't sure what, but travel seems to be an opportunity to find out.

Marina is a purpose. She's a reason to stay. She's a reason to do the things that his heart really desires to do. She's a person to protect. A person to start a family with. A person whom he does want to figure out his sexual desires with. A person who will let him satisfy the role he thinks he's supposed to have in society. And if that person is right there - then why travel in the first place? He doesn't need to search for something that is right there.

The fascinating thing is that it is better for Colin that he does end up going. He kind of needs those experiences to gain new outlooks on life, to clear his head, to be at peace with himself, and to understand what really missing something when he's away is. And, of course, because he'll find that he'll get to fall in love in a deeper way while he's gone (of course - through his correspondence with Penelope).

And, of course, i can't help but go back to thoughts on The Odyssey -- which is one of the myths embedded in Pen and Colin's story -- the story of a world weary soldier just trying to get back home to his wife... Penelope.

Colin thinks he understands what he's saying when he says that line. But he doesn't truly get. And won't ever if he choses a path with Marina - one that is doomed to be a (possibly) unfulfilled life.

It's always so funny to me when TV characters have private conversations literally two feet away from people who shouldn't hear it, lol.

Pen is probably well aware that the childish meddling she's doing isn't really working, so she goes to appeal to her mother. She points out that Colin is young, yes, but she tries to appeal to her mother's sense of logic. She points out that there may not be enough time to get them married since Colin is young and may not be ready for marriage. Portia considers, but does have her own plans...

Ug, poor Pen, the pining does get me. It'll be alright, girl...

A Plan...

If there's one thing you can say about Marina, it's that she knows how to play this game, and how to do it well so that she can get what she needs. Is it manipulation? Yes. Is she doing it out of self preservation? Absolutely.

She completely plays Portia here (Portia, isn't necessarily stupid, either, but is trying to be calculating in her own right). Marina appeals to Portia's sense of status -- and her desire and need to maintain that status. So Marina basically cuts her a deal. Let me go after Colin, and I'll repay you by letting you stay in your good standing with the Ton. And so the two of them forge an alliance.

But, ah, all this talk of seduction and manipulation -- that's breaking Penelope's heart as she hears it. It's bad enough that the guy she loves is interested in someone else. She has always known or felt that she'd lose Colin some day to another woman. But to lose him to people who do not have his best interest at heart? It's devastating.

But still... she does not go first to her best line of defense, Lady Whistledown... that's the last possible card she'll play.

A Wedding

This is, like, the saddest wedding ever. Man, they look miserable.

Colin seems fine about it. He smiles a bit because it's Daphne, and she's getting married. But not a whole lot of insight to pull out here. He's so detached from this plot line, lol.

A Proposal

So, right before we jump into the Pen and Marina stuff, Cressida approaches Daphne and basically says -- I hope some day you'll pay me to keep quit about the shit I saw in the garden. Like, the girl had a blackmailing mindset even here. I mean, obviously Season 3 didn't come out of nowhere, but it is interesting the seeds they did place for things so early on.

Anyway... Penelope's back to her meddling -- this time trying to get Marina interested in ANYONE else. And I mean, Pen's got a good eye. She's watched all of these people, and I trust that she's attempting to set Marina up with a good (enough) match.

After Marina becomes stubborn about Colin, Penelope opens up. While she's not entirely truthful, she is very open and does lay a lot of it on the line. She admits she does care for Colin. She admits that she just cannot stand back and watch him be manipulated into a life that he didn't sign up for. While she is holding back on the extent of her romantic feelings, she is being emotionally vulnerable, in a way to get Marina to empathize with her. I mean, she is being sincere, and cutting a lot of the mind games crap she had been doing. But she's hoping that a more open approach will help change Marina's mind.

Of course - Marina is out to win. She sees no other options, and she does throw some of it back in Penelope's face. She knows that Colin is a sure thing, and that she'll be treated right. She is not going to lose that chance - because the alternative are the Rutledges of the world. And she just can't take that chance.

It's kind of funny that she still doesn't get how invested Penelope is in this, but she is giving Pen her own moment of emotional vulnerability. She is running out of time, and she will do what she can to secure a good future for herself, and however Penelope feels about it, doesn't really matter because it's ultimately not about her. (And, you know, she isn't wrong, even though we may side with Pen on this one.)

We also learn that Rudledge is engaged and off the market (darn) so Portia tells Marina she'd better get working on Colin... there is a time limit after all.

Before we get to Colin though... we have this brief moment between Pen and Eloise. They've had their fight, and now it's awkward. Neither really quite knowing what to say. But it'll be alright... They always find their way back to each other. But no time for that now! Other plotlines to get to! lol

Poor Pen, no where to hide in this brightly lit, very white room. She can't hide from Eloise. And she can't hide from Marina and Colin. It's just a lot... Just a lot to witness, and she can't do anything about it.

Not at the moment anyway...

The reason the earlier episodes showed Pen and Marina getting along well is to establish the respect Pen has for Marina and vice versa. But this is the turning point. Because Pen had tried to be open about her feelings and Marina was just not playing that game.

Oh, there is some anger in Penelope's eyes. You do not fuck with Colin. You just don't. Penelope would help her with any, every other man in all of England. Just not hers. Pen could accept if Marina truly loved Colin, she probably would let him go.

But the 'act' is going into full swing now, and Pen just cannot with it. She just cannot with how Marina is going to completely manipulate the situation. And even though Pen doesn't get to see what we're about to -- she knows what's happening. Unfortunately, poor Colin can't.

So, what is the FIRST thing Marina do? She needs to get them alone, so she pretends she's not feeling well. And I mean, she gets him. She so gets him. His protector/hero complex is activated and he quickly is not only concerned, but gets her out of there.

And oofff, this next scene is almost hard to watch, because every beat of it on Marina's end is calculated. It's masterful really.

Oh, poor Pen, having a moment for herself of sadness.

But I also just thought of something... had Marina chosen anyone else, she could have really helped Marina. The Lady Whistledown of it all could have helped her. Penelope watches everything, she knows things, and she could have helped Marina in snagging any other man at that party. Of course, she was never going to give up her identity, but it's kind of interesting to think of the what ifs...

Oh man, Marina's smug look when they enter the study. She isn't even trying to hide it.

Colin. You are such a dumbass. (Said with all the love, cause I do love his dumb ass.)

It's funny, Colin is such an interesting study because he's got such a duality about him. Social decorum is something he thinks about (and will very much so in this scene), but he also isn't really one to play by the rules.

In this instance, though, it's his youthful inexperience and naivety that is his down fall. Does he want to be alone with Marina? Yes. But does he sense that she's setting this up so they can be alone? Not even in the slightest. He's still in protector mode. Even the scandalous shutting of the door is about her comfort, not about what she's trying to get.

He may be a little slower, but he's not a complete idiot, and when he takes a moment to asses that she's fine, he gets it. And the wheels start turning. And yeah, he does want to hook up with her. His little grin at his fortune says that.

Marina, however, just has zero time for the drawn out romance Colin has playing in his head. She is direct and gets right to the point. And I love that there's a little moment of freak out that crosses his face. Sure, he wants to hook up -- but he clearly never has before, because the minute she moves forward he does have a sheer moment of panic before he regains himself. He wants her. But he has no idea what he's doing.

And then we get this. This almost kiss. And there's just... a lot to this little moment. A lot.

Because I think it speaks to Colin's fantastical idea of what romance is vs the reality of it when it's staring him in his face.

I do think, yes, base line, he wants to kiss her -- among other things. And I do kind of wonder if he even has kissed anyone at this point, because he's kind of acting as if he's in this place where it just feels... not right. And, not even coming from the societal pressure (which I'll get to in a second) but from a place where -- he has all of these romantic little fantasy of what this moment should be like, and having a rushed moment in the study the way Anthony probably would do it, is not really Colin. Or.. this youthful version of Colin who doesn't have the experience.

I have to wonder if this younger Colin has all these fantasies about kissing his wife for the first time at their wedding and the magical moments he know does happen afterwards. And I think that's why I do think it's a good thing all of this happens because it does end up smashing his idyllic version of romance to allow him to be open to what real romance is -- not the ideas he's made up in his head, but what is really there.

(And I mean, I guess I'll get into it maybe later? I do have headcanons for Colin -- such as his first time with a woman was probably bought and paid for at a brothel. That after this whole Marina thing kind of sours him on love for a while, it pushes him to go out and get some experiences. It allows him to understand the world a bit better - so when he finally does see Penelope, he'll understand it better.)

So he stops the kiss. And Marina, who is savvy as fuck for navigating all of this so quickly, doesn't push him. She's gonna seduce him, but she'll do so on his terms. And appealing to his greater sense of romanticism and honor. Which really works in her favor, ultimately.

Colin can barely believe he's stopping - because he probably is a bit overwhelmed by whatever body reaction is probably happening in that moment. He still considers himself a gentleman who does things in a proper order.

And it's funny, as much as he ends up being a bit of a rule breaker, it's almost not intentionally. He wants to always be doing the right thing. He wants that honor. He wants to be the gentleman. He wants to be seen in good standing by the greater society. So he won't do anything to compromise himself, but more so her. And so he holds back because this is not the proper way. So, yes, I do think some of society's pressure is on display here, too.

Oh, but Marina, girl is so calculated in this scene. She plays on his gentlemanly nature. Plays on his need for honor. And pushes hard on his desire. You almost feel bad for how easily Colin cracks. He is very much a 'my wife' guy. Even here with Marina, that tendency is here on display.

The jump to marriage is bonkers quick. Yes -- it is partially fueled by society's restraints on sexual desires. But it's also a romantic fantasy Colin actually wants. He wants a wife. He wants that life. He's just never found that emotional connection to really fuel him to go for it. But he thinks he has that with Marina. He thinks that she wants that life with him, too. And, of course, now that they've been alone and courting, he thinks it is the proper step to take. So he does.

It's sweetly in earnest. And a bit unsure of a proposal. He doesn't doubt his own feelings, but he doesn't know where Marina stands.

When Marina not only says yes but looks ecstatic about the idea, he just lights up. Romantic achievement fulfilled. That almost kiss did make him unsure of things. But now that marriage is on the table. Now that they can have this nice long engagement and a fancy wedding and this idyllic life of love he's always heard about from his mother, he is so, so excited about it. He thinks he's getting everything he's ever wanted.

And... he thinks he's giving her everything she wants. He talks about her deserving a grand wedding. He is (almost hilariously) breathless when he says it'll be wonderful. (There is really a little ten yo girl living Colin's heart, lol)

Unfortunately, Marina's excitement is not for the same reason as his own. She's thrilled that this whole plan has worked as quickly and as swimmingly as she wanted to. And... she didn't even have to sleep with him to get a proposal. Win-win, really.

Oh, Colin... he feels everything so intensely. It's a shame this is a mix of lust and youthful ignorance fueling romantic fantasies that this proposal comes about. And Marina was hoping for all of that. He promises that he'll give her everything she wants, and he does in this moment. It's a shame that what Colin doesn't realize -- it is just a fantasy, and ultimately, not what he wants.

Oh man, that look Marina gives before she turns around. Diabolical. I don't think of her as a villain. I really don't. I think she's a young woman who is desperate and willing to do what she can to ensure her own safety. But she is playing with his heart, and knows it.

Look how giddy he is, oh Colin... Well, they promise not to say anything -- because seriously, probably not a good thing to announce your engagement at your sister's wedding. But Colin's probably going to be sleeping well tonight.

It's interesting -- thinking about how Penelope is currently a little heartbroken while all of this is going on. But, you know, she's had a long time to have to deal with these problems, with the emotions. She is able to handle a lot of these harder emotions and process them better because they've been going on for so long.

I think when the shit hits the fan with Marina, it's going to hurt so much worse in some ways. It's like the opposite of the she fell first, he fell harder trope. He's never had to experience heartbreak on this level before, and it'll feel devastating. It's no wonder he spends all of season 2 spiraling. Huh.

Anyway, on that happy note, we get to move onto episode 6! Which is my favorite Polin episode for Season 1 :)

[As an aside, this episode ends with Daphne and Simon's first time, which -- has a lot of similarities, beats, and dialogue as the Polin mirror scene. But the atmosphere, tone, and even acting are a lot different. Idk - I find it really fascinating. If anyone else does, let me know, and I can do a side by side analysis of it, cause there are some interesting things to dissect there.]

[salix-triandra]

for the ask - Sam Butler from mismag! (this is ivy btw just on my extremely old technically-main blog 💀)

Thank youuuu I would love to talk about the wondrous and incandescent Sam Butler:

I feel like Sam is getting her flowers in Season 2 and flew under the radar a bit in Season 1, but Season 1 established that Sam's strength lies in seeing the emotional connections between people and that she has a very strong emotional intelligence. She sees how people matter to each other, but her insecurities break my heart as they don't let her internalize how those connections often spread from HER. S2 shows us that she has spent so much time convinced that people don't actually like her but are liking a spell she is casting on them, even though the reality is that people genuinely like her. She is charming, but she isn't just charming; she has a strong desire to know things about others.

I've only ever shipped Sam with Evan, I'll be honest-- in season 1, she was the first person to say hi to him and attempt to include him the moment she met him. Sam literally talked demons out of possessing him. It blindsided me when Evan and K were the pairing in S1 (though by the time S2 began, they'd broken up) because I saw Sam's genuine care and affection for the person Evan was and I saw K's more surface-level fascination with Evan's situation and sad-boy deal over his person-ness. No K hate, it's literally their arc. And in season 2, that care and affection has continued to grow between Sam and Evan from the start, as early as episode 2 when Sam sees Evan giving into a violent urge and stops him bc she's worried about him, when she notices Evan is being really violent with his shadow, and when Evan carries Sam across a sea of lava and they have an emotional talk about wanting to be in each other's lives. And the whole time K and Sam are talking about what Sam wants in a partner it keeps cutting to Evan doing something off to the side... and then epsidoe 3 happens where Evan fucking dies and Sam is the only person who can look at the shadow version of him? And how she's the one to ask all the right questions to determine how to get Evan back to life? And from that point onward, we see them both prioritizing each other first in everything: in combat, in emotional scenes; they gravitate towards each other before others. I could talk about this part forever but won't bc this is about SAM and not the two of them as a couple. She is so attentive, caring, and loving; it shows in the way she sees Evan as a normal person, and he validates that for her by showing that he consistently sees to the core of her.

Non-romantic OTP, K Tanaka and Sam are Pink Pals forever, childhood friends that were super close, grew apart in adolescence, and then re-connected as 17 year-olds. They care for each other a lot and are able to have tough conversations together even if it means getting a little tense because it matters to them.

I know this doesn't count as an unpopular opinion about Sam the character, but seeing as how I don't have any, I would love to see more art of Sam with her natural hair or, at the very least, with some of the protective styles she would wear under her wigs! I'll contribue myself sometime soon, but I'd love to see it from other people, too!

I would have loved to see Sam get to have more time with Fergus Pontz, a character who she dated in S1 and then saw very briefly in episode 3 after Evan got killed-- we find out he followed the Pilot Program's pathing from island to island and then ended up somewhere with bomb in his chest?? and he died??? so she never got to meet back up with him and find out how he survived things; clearly something in their old dynamic was haunting her and it would have been nice for her to get that closure with him.

Thank you again for asking!!!! I loooove this series very much and Sam most of all :)

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - LDPDL & Nosferatu 2024

We all know & love AMC!IWTV's canon that the Unholy Family saw Nosferatu in 1922, and busted a gut rotflol over Hollywood's vampire.

But if Louis saw Nosferatu 2024, in the wake of Lestat in NOLA, and esp. Armand in Paris/SanFran/Dubai & Claudia's death, I reckon he'd be triggered on several levels. Ofc, one doesn't need to see Nos24 thru Louis' eyes/POV to recognize all the themes about the predatory nature of vampiric seduction, let alone the devastating ways vampires affect/abuse/take advantage/wreak havoc on human vulnerabilities like religious mania depression, mental illness, and suicidal ideation. But let's go for it!

The Closeted (Isolation, Repression, & Mental Illness)

In IWTV, Louis was a closeted gay man who had to grow up always hiding who he really was, for fear of punishment by his uber-Catholic family as well as society at large. Homosexuality was not only considered a mental illness, subject to extreme forms "treatment" including solitary confinement in a sanatorium (mental asylum--the same place his mentally ill brother Paul had already been sent that made him "worse than before"); but also a crime punishable by incarceration or even death.

I've long said that "Rashid"/Armand's treatment of Louis esp. in Dubai was more like a nurse than a servant--the kind of nurse that hates their job (being "stuck on suicide watch") & whose bedside manner effing SUCKS, having no patience for the mentally ill & no capacity to properly take care of them; just making things worse.

In Nosferatu, Ellen was always "touched" as a child, having the 2nd sight that allowed her to always know ahead of time what her Xmas gifts were, and know the date her mom would die. Her mean father thought she was a freak and had her closeted away & isolated from society, the family embarrassment. Even after she got married, Thomas' BFF Friedrich barely tolerated Ellen, and when her seizures started he had her tied & doped & corseted up--all the worst ways of caring for her that likely did more harm than good. Ellen even called him out on it, knowing Friedrich tied her up cuz he hated having to deal with her in the first place "I tire of discussing her; can we please talk about something else; the entire household centers around her fairy whims!," and got sick of her being in his house anymore.

Book & Hearth's video analysis of Ellen's mental illness in Nosferatu says this:

So, Louis/Ellen are both people stigmatized by Victorian society for things that were never their fault (homosexuality, mental illness, etc), either socially closeted/isolated (Louis) or spatially closeted/isolated (Ellen).

(Lestat kept whining in 1x3 & 2x7 about how the worst thing a vampire can feel is loneliness--as if that's not awful for humans to feel, too. 🙄 Esp. since vamps are immortal, they've got all the time in the world for someone to eventually show up & fall in love with them; unlike humans, who grow old & decrepit & die in no time flat.)

We see the extreme lengths Louis & Ellen would go to, to alleviate their loneliness & desperation for companionship, and their desire to feel seen & close to someone--even if that someone was the Devil himself: a vampire.

"Come to me" - Loustat & Orllen

Both IWTV & Nosferatu use Come to Me. It's a motif as old as Dracula itself, so it's par for the course, really.

"Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!" --Lucy Westenra, Dracula

But both shows play around with it in interesting ways.

In IWTV, Lestat repeatedly chants C2M/Viens a moi to lure Louis to him. In 1x1 Louis actually runs away, fleeing to the church & prayed to God to help/kill him; only for the Devil/Lestat to show up & "give you death" by making him a vampire. But in 1x6, Lestat uses the song "Come to Me" to "get a rise out of" Louis, who swims the Mississippi to take his estranged husband back. But during the Trial, Lestat lied on Lou and accused him of saying C2M to "accost" Les instead--the human seducing the vampire. Meanwhile, Lou still has Les's master recording of C2M in 2022, which he plays for Daniel in Dubai--again proving that Les was lying on Lou & weaponized C2M against him.

Nosferatu24 plays the human-calling/seducing-the-vampire straight, where Ellen literally summoned Orlock. Lonely, she'd prayed to God for a companion, "a spirit of comfort," but accidentally roused the Nosferatu from his sleep as she kept repeating "Come to me."

Ellen accidentally called Orlock, and Lestat hunted Louis down--but both characters are still guilt-ridden by their open-armed acceptance of their vampire lovers, once they eventually realize that the person they thought would be their comfort/safety had only taken advantage of their loneliness, desperation & ignorance about their situation and the type of creature these vamps really were.

Louis' relationship with Armand doesn't 1:1 fit, since they never use C2M per se, but Armand DOES approach Louis similarly to Les, as the charismatic vampire who stalked Lou before finally confronting him, luring him & Claudia into the Theatre to recruit/convert them to his crazy AF coven/cult; and then using a series of lies, manipulations & brainwashes to take advantage of Louis' trauma post-Banishment to keep Lou as his (un)willing companion for 77yrs after killing his daughters.

The Death of 2 Daughters

Orlock's murder of Friedrich's 2 daughters is a chilling scene. The Nosferatu puts a spell on Friedrich while he's sleeping, his hand casting a spectral shadow over Friedrich's face to keep him pinned in his bed and trapped in his nightmares. Meanwhile, his 2 daughters & wife are screaming for him to help them, but Friedrich can't move or wake up, impotently clutching the gun in his hand as his wife & kids are slaughtered bu Orlock, just down the hall from him.

Orlock has both the little girls in his clutches, and throws them down like sacks of potatoes once he's done draining them, as their mother Anna helplessly watches, screaming, before he kills her, too.

This is painfully similar to how Armand instructed the coven to fog the minds of Claudia, Madz & Louis whenever they tried defending themselves, on top of their ankles being slashed so they couldn't move, escape, or fight back--esp. not once Lou was dragged away kicking & screaming to be buried alive, ensuring that he'd be helpless to do anything to save his 2 daughters from being murdered. The last thing he ever heard Claudia say was her screaming his name.

(Since this is 2024, Louis wouldn't yet be privy to the details Lestat reveals in S3 (2026). But if Lestat's also watching Nos24, he knows even more about Claudia's final moments than Lou does--that feeling of helplessness is only amplified by the fact that she's HIS literal Blood Child--he'd've felt her die the same way Louis felt Madz die. Drained after using his Mind Gift to save Louis with Banishment, Lestat's too weak to save Claudia as she burns. The last thing Claudia ever saw was her father just standing there, uselessly watching Armand & the coven burn her to death.)

Sexual Inhibitions, Awakenings, Stigmas, Salvation

Louis is often mocked/derided in the fandom as a d**kmatized Pick Me who only thinks with his loins to stay with toxic AF Lestat's "considerable considerables;" after years of closeted sexual repression.

"Do you remember the best you ever had? So imagine that flowing inside your veins again. Now multiply it by miles, to the rings of Saturn and back...." "He had a way about him, those first years, Lestat. Preternaturally charming, occasionally thoughtful. He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover, and my maker--all of those things at once. He had taken what he called un petit coup, the Little Drink. Not enough to kill me, but just enough to keep him fit. It takes an enormous amount of restraint for us, the Little Drink. For a human, experiencing it for the first time, it was…unsettling. And not for the physical toll on my body, which was significant, but for the feelings of intimacy it awoke within me."

Lestat's seduction of Louis was a sexual revelation/awakening, but it also spooked TF outta Louis. He fled Lestat's house in a gay panic, "vowing never to return." I also discussed how Lestat's C2M in 1x1 was dubcon/noncon, and mirrored Lestat in Paul's head, making both him AND Louis feel unclean.

She sank on her knees on the floor in an agony of abasement. Pulling her beautiful hair over her face, as the leper of old his mantle, she wailed out. “Unclean! Unclean! Even the Almighty shuns my polluted flesh! I must bear this mark of shame upon my forehead until the Judgement Day.” -- Mina Harker, Dracula

(Lou was bored to dangit death with Armand in SanFran (the gay mecca where he'd been enjoying his 2nd wind/try at a gay sexual awakening), mocking Armand for having been forced into ascetic celibacy by the Children of Satan, who made him forget he had a working peen (Lou was obvs mad that Armand wasn't using said peen with Lou--the Bed Death Truthers were right all along, LOL).)

Meanwhile, Ellen was outright called a "sinner" by her father when he found her lying naked after a (Orlock-induced) fit/orgasm.

Orlock stayed with Ellen for years, an incubus visiting her in her dreams & having sex with her (the best she'd ever had, as she later throws in Thomas' face, "you could never please me like he could"); but also throwing her into fits/seizures--"at first it was sweet...and then it turned to torture!"

In the end, LDPDL & Ellen use their sexual prowess to distract their vampire husbands long enough for their Murder Plots to be accomplished--a la Mina Harker in Dracula.

Louis is literally instructed by Claudia to seduce Lestat, keeping him distracted with sex while Claudia plans how to poison & kill him. Louis is afraid to fall back into the "well with no bottom" and "lose myself in him," and Claudia promises to be his salvation--pulling him out in time to strike the killing blow to Lestat.

Ellen is another femme fatale who welcomes Orlock into their marriage bed, where she forcefully holds him close as he notices the sun rising; keeping him distracted with sex long enough for the sunlight to cook him to death as she hemorrhages under him. Her suicide is her salvation/martyrdom, as she frees herself (and the whole town) from Orlock's clutches.

(Again, Armand doesn't have as neat of a 1:1 fit, since Louis doesn't distract him with sex to defeat him. But Louis still plays up his seemingly helpless submission to get Armand to allow the interview to continue, as if Daniel isn't threat, and as if Louis doesn't suspect Armand of foul play--at least not until the end of 2x5 ofc. But Armand constantly wrests control back, and by the end of the interview in 2x8 he ALMOST wins. Louis doesn't defeat Armand or save himself at all here--DANIEL defeats Armand & saves Louis instead, showing the leagues of difference between the threat Armand posed vs Lestat. )

[msfcatlover]

Nightwing!Damian would still be of the Corruption, though he has so many healthy relationships in his life that its influence on him is slipping. His swarm is smaller now than it’s ever been. His power fades day by day. He might even manage to be human again someday (he doesn’t know how he feels about that, when his swarm are so beloved & his monster side has always been a source of pride for Damian.)

Tim was always going to be of the Eye, being Oracle only doubles down on it.

Cass in the TMA AU is basically Agnes Montague, but for the Stranger. That wouldn’t change either.

Steph was only just starting out when Damian took her under his wing. She never fully got caught in the spiraling fixation on destroying her father by any means necessary, she couldn’t pursue one goal to the exclusion of all others, and as the first fully human (non-Alfred) member of the team, everyone would be doing their best to protect that humanity, monitoring her for any sign of supernatural influence and guiding her away before it could get its hooks in her (they are still Bruce’s children, after all.) Until she came out of the dirt, unsheltered & unprotected, already marked so many times over, with fear & rage boiling in her blood. Until Talia gave Steph her mind back, gave Steph a purpose again, and the rage boiled over plasmatic hate. Until Steph laughed like a roaring maelstrom, sparks crackling in her wild hair, something bordering on madness in her eyes, and Talia thought: Oh. I have made a mistake. (The storm would be leashed, eventually. Steph does have self control, she has goals to achieve, plans to make, and power alone could not do that. But in that moment, when Steph realized her killer was still killing people despite everything that had happened, in her pain & fury, she gave in. She stepped backwards off that invisible ledge and plunged headfirst into what she knew she was Becoming. She embraced it, wholeheartedly. In that moment, it almost wasn’t Stephanie Brown in that garden, but the Cataclysm itself inside her skin. Almost.)

Duke… I’m still struggling to think of a good match for, but honestly in this AU… His ability to connect, to make people listen to him, his desire to step up & save the city himself if he has to, and the fact Duke is the eldest/first batkid in this AU (giving him & Bruce even more in common when Batman had only ever fought alone) all make me want to say Web. BUT with his powers, his ability to lead a crowd, the sheer scale of his potential, I also want to say Vast? What little I know of Gnomon also says Vast, ALTHOUGH…. …we could play off their shadow control, invert Duke’s light powers for this AU, and say Dark. Which would make Duke borderline antithetical to Web!Bruce, but hey, maybe Web!Bruce wants to prove to himself just how much choice he still has—that the Web can make him as uncomfortable as it likes, but he’s still going to take care of a child in need. (Assuming he is going against the Web’s wishes, of course, and it isn’t reverse psychologying him…) (My gut says Web!Duke, though. The more I think about it, the more I like Web!Duke conceptually… but I am worried that it doesn’t fit him. That Duke’s all-or-nothing “if no one else is going to, I’ll do it myself” attitude & raw charisma is not close enough to the Web’s need for control. I don’t like it when people just assign characters an Entity for the Aesthetic(TM) or for shallow, surface-level reasons—it has to resonate with their own personal failings, or else what’s even the point?)

Jason was human when he joined the family, and they’d want to keep him that way… but I think by the time he gets back from the Red Robin arc, Jason would’ve been claimed by the Hunt.

Dick gets scooped up by the family almost immediately in this AU, and Cass does her best to temper in his early-days bloodlust. With Cass as his Batman, I think Dick would be tempted by the Vast, but ultimately chase after her by embracing his own Otherness. (Or Dick was already a Stranger when his parents fell. But honestly, I like the arc of Dick learning to love himself & following in his mentor’s footsteps so much more than making him a Stranger because Circus.)

[mdhwrites]

if you've seen Steven universe how would you compare it to TOH? I've seen many takes that TOH is Steven Universe 'done correctly' which drives me up a wall, especially since TOH has a lot of the same flaws as SU (pretty much everyone has to be tied to steven in some way- the same way everyone's gotta tie into Luz, White Diamond pisses me off for the same reason the collector does and dear god both finales are messes and the worldbuilding is also kind of messy) but pretty much everyone can agree that Steven Universe's themes of restorative justice are good, its themes surrounding interpersonal relationships and intergenerational trauma is good- I've seen people justify how TOH handles its villains 2 ways "its doing steven universe's restorative justice but like correctly" or "its about killing your oppressors, which steven should have done" which is dumb. Idk this fandom has a huge hate-boner for SU and Amphibia in general though. I also saw someone have the take the collector and belos where foils which... Is weird I can see where they come from but they never are put together in a way that highlights their similarities and differences. So what are some actual comparisons that can made between the shows outside of LGBT characters and surface level stuff?

Sadly I have not seen Steven Universe so I can't really comment on much of it. I've seen the first episode (both halves), decided the gems were insufferable to me and Steven was okay and went on with my life because at the time, I was a full time college student and a part time Walmart employee. I do like some of the songs that have reached me but I never got an in with the show, especially since my early experience with it was much like Gravity Falls where I heard a lot of high concept stuff about it but not much about why I would actually enjoy a given episode, what was enjoyable about the characters, etc. like that. Honestly, the only criticism I know of for it is that people hate the ending.

BUT.

I have seen one other thing. I have seen about twenty minutes of the Steven Universe movie. With that I can say one thing definitively even if it's not clearing a high bar: The Diamond's turn to good is better than the Collector's because they have literally ANY reason to listen to the person preaching at them. The Collector doesn't. In fact, he has no reason to reform and it is drastically out of character for him to care about... Anyone?

Let me start on the Diamond's side because I don't have a lot to say about this but it is something I'm surprised I haven't heard anyone talk about: They were clearly traumatized by the loss of Pink Diamond. Whether or not you think this is a good part of the plot isn't what matters, the point is that this is a literal fact to the story. This grief has gone unresolved for literal decades (just going by Steven's lifespan, someone in my Discord provided the context that they blamed themselves for her DEATH, not just disappearance, for CENTURIES which only bolsters the point I'm making) and has festered in them a desperation for their old comrade? Friend? I don't 100% know but you get the point. So when her son arrives and can't be kept by force, they're going to be pretty amenable to listen to whatever demands means keeping him around. Is that great? No, I wouldn't say it is as the question of what happens when Steven dies is there but it works for forcing them to consider the consequences of their actions and how they may need to change to have the life they desire. It is a compelling force for the first step of change. It's not amazing but it is at least functional from a narrative standpoint, an emotional standpoint and from a character standpoint. Not that it's great but that it is functional. You can string together how this works without having to just invent bullshit.

The Collector has none of these three because he's the literal fucking worst.

I've talked about this before but the Collector isn't the child the fandom treats him as. Even if we try to disconnect the second season version of the Collector, who very much so knows what death is and the consequences of his actions, S3 Collector does have a foil to Belos: He's an actual colonizing piece of shit. Not in that he is literally colonizing places but in mindset. Everything to him is something to be used for his entertainment or enrichment or it is to be stripped of all rights and brutally oppressed until it fits the role he desires. This is what happens when you become a LITERAL. FUCKING. DOLL. And he even has enforcers like the armies colonies would use that have wildly more powerful magic, i.e. technology, in order to make that oppression more seamless. Remember: Hexside is actively hiding from roaming stars that he just has going around the Isles that hoover up people, making at least those who resist into dolls immediately without question, and then bringing them to him to be new play toys in his game. That is explicitly what he has been doing to the entire Isles for MONTHS once S3 episode 2 happens.

People do not matter to him and this even extends to King. When King steps out of line, The Collector cracks the whip. He's even willing to KILL KING for having the gall of caring about anyone other than him. Those death games would be just as lethal to King as it would be to Eda and Luz after all. And if you actually do divorce S2's "PLAY AMONGST THE BONES!" line (which is fucking awful because you have to remove literally all of the first appearances of a character which is usually considered, you know... Bad) and believe that he doesn't know what death is... He knows what pain is. He knows what torture is. He knows the despair of being trapped in a space where you can't move or act or do anything except watch as an observer on a world that could destroy you at any moment because your prison is all of your being.

And then he makes people into dolls, with consciousness, without a second thought. He is willing to BREAK people in order to make them play along. His literal plan was to shatter the bodies of the Owl House trio over and over and over again until they were subservient to his desires. That is WORSE than just wanting to kill them. And he only stops to throw a tantrum because he fails to succeed and starts whining about it like any selfish asshole not getting his way. Not like a child: Like a selfish asshole.

So with ALL of this, what does the show do to try to make him consider the consequences of his actions? Well... Nothing. It claims it's trying to do something but the tour with the trio is much more a circle jerk about how amazing the show was and how much could have happened if not for the shortening ("That sounds like something that could have been its own spin off!" Or whatever King says to Eda talking about her and Raine's time at Hexside) than it is about talking to the Collector. There's a couple lines here and there, talking to him about what works for making friends but does it stick?

No, the Collector learns nothing and in mocking Steven Universe, they make that clear. The Collector is told that people are complex and you must show compassion. Rather than actually believing this, he uses it like a blunt hammer, just like all of his other solutions, to make a problem of his go away. That's why he hugs Belos and assumes it will work. He is not considering the complexity of humanity or the person he is applying this to. It is just to solve a problem so he'll get praised and go back to playing his games. Nothing. More.

And then he fucks off instead of fixing the damage he'd done because why would he stay? Why would he help? He hasn't learned anything and he doesn't want to help these people. He has NO motivation for why he helps save the Archive except otherwise he loses his sweet crash pad. So afterwards? He's gonna go somewhere where he can be himself and not be scolded for it because this toy is no longer fun.

Edit: He does stay to change everyone back from dolls. That much more falls into the "It's the ending, we have to have the problem only he can fix be fixed by him" despite the fact that he is responsible for so much more destruction that would theoretically be pretty easy for him to fix as well. He only does what is demanded of him for the sake of a happy ending, not because of character motivation, not from how I see it at least.

The most condemning part of this is that it's all around Luz. All around someone he doesn't like. He sees Luz as trying to take away his only friend after all and, you know, he is correct about that. They don't even try to hide that fact during the tour. They're still clearly upset with him and not even trying to be his friend, they're just lecturing him. It doesn't work from a character perspective, a narrative perspective or an emotional one. King MIGHT have with better writing, there's a reason I always wanted the Collector redeemed by one of his games forcing him to have to kill King by the rules he made before breaking it and having to face how that's unfair and cruel to others since they wouldn't get that leniency, but that's not how the show plays it. King is an unwilling servant for one episode and then VERY against the Collector in the next until after the death games. When he first shows up, King isn't trying to mediate, he is ready to fight just like the other two. He's not the Collector's friend and he never was so why would the Collector bother listening to him?

That is why me saying the Diamonds, even with my limited knowledge, works better than the Collector is almost literally the worst you can do when it comes to something like this. All the setup is wrong, the catalyst requires explicit retcons and don't work with the character and the payoff is... Nothing. Literally nothing. The only way to have done it worse is to have had everyone praise the Collector before he then stabbed Amity and no one acted like that was a problem. It can only function because we are TOLD he's redeemed even if he never shows it.

Andrias standing alone as a farmer, accepting the punishment for his actions and trying to make better on them, is such better payoff to a redemption arc than anything the Collector gets and his redemption was in character and setup by his past. So then let's get to one of your last points: Why is it that the TOH fandom rags on SU and Amphibia so much, especially for their endings, when theirs is such shit?

Well... Because that's the reputation of TOH. That it is the 'good' one. That it is better than almost all other media. The show itself, with moments like the Collector mocking the SU ending by hugging Belos, reinforces this. As such, for you to criticize TOH as failing in a department that other shows are not rapturously praised for is to fall out of sync with the show itself. As such, all other works must be placed beneath it, especially if those are widely believed to have a flaw in an element to then raise TOH up with. This is part of why so many people want to say the Amphibia ending is wrong because the Amphibia ending is brave and controversial and saying something while the TOH ending?

I mean... Do you really think the Collector's the only part of it objectively flawed like this? Because if a major redemption for your big bad is botched this badly, you can bet other problems exist. I've talked about them at length. But there are probably people out there who would call me the Lily Orchard of TOH if I was better known.

See you next tale.

======+++++======

That last line isn't an endorsement of Lily Orchard btw, just that I have to imagine it's the label I would be given. What little exposure I've had to her works is... YIKES. Just fucking yikes. My Discord has really enjoyed every time I've live reacted to a video of hers they've posted there. sigh

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

I saw your analysis on Conker and Barri's relationship, and I was wondering if you could analyze Conker's "friendship" with Rodent and why he hates him even though Rodent was one of the few nicer character in the game?

Ahhhh I can try

Idk if I have the direct answer but I’ll interpret it

To start it’s kind of out of left field that Conker apparently didn’t like Rodent- as I believe they had a previous history before CBFD so it’s hard to interpret how they met or what they think of each other. But other than the end, their interactions are fairly friendly

But fast forward to the end, Conker calls Rodent an idiot as he’s walking away and gets upset when Rodent joins his kingdom. I think that maybe this was put in later so Conker didn’t have an upside to his new role, as having an understanding friend besides Conker in his struggle would reverse the meaning of the ending a bit

But dw, there’s plenty of other reasonings

To add onto my previous analogy; Conker is horribly materialistic and not a good person. Both in and out of war we can see a change in his character, as he goes from semi decent and attentive to directly after being over everything and ungrateful.

Don’t take this as Conker just being extremely introverted, as he does have a set group of friends and Berry as seen in the beginning of the game

However he might just be putting these guys into a separate list alongside Berry, as something representing his own comfort. His friends may be exempt from everything else, as the bar could be a safe place for Conker. I think maybe no matter what is said and done for Conker, that he has a Highschool mentality towards others, pushing them away and out of his league when his usual life begins up again.

Mainly because Conker doesn’t act like this in war. Rodent is someone Conker should hold a large amount of respect towards-and he kind of does.

Rodent really doesn’t do anything wrong. He sacrifices himself for Conker, he saved his life by warning him, and he literally took bullets for Conker as he’s used as a shield and leads the way for Conker. He’s nerdy, but his interactions with Conker don’t strain Conker or ask too much from him. No matter what, because Rodent is out of Conkers set few selection of favored people, he’ll never be good enough.

And like I said, Conker is so materialistic, he constantly values money, babes, and beer over others. We can see this when he thinks he’s saving a little girl from a battlefield-and is only motivated to do so because he might get payed by the parents

Conker is extremely selfish, and despite helping others throughout the game, he does it for himself.

But like I said there’s a 180 between the war level and every other level. Conker is witnessing something devastating, and is in an environment where anyone including himself can be killed within seconds. Conker isn’t really in much distress until this point, so we see a semi more careful version of himself. It’s kind of shown in a nice moment between him and the general after witnessing the horrors of war, and imo that transitions Conker between having a newer perspective on life-to his usual self. Maybe in a better ending Conker would change here. He’d find how delicate life is and put his desire for materialistic items behind him. But no, it’s not easy for Conker to change-and even an act of war doesn’t quite do that for him

[goblin-the-clown]

I wanted to discuss the theory that if the afton kids didn't die from the animatronics, William would have just killed them anyway. In my opinion, I think this theory is stupid.

First of let's start with the fact that Evan's death was the event that started Williams spiral into insanity. I really don't think he would have been capable of murder before that. He's most likely always had violent urges (as is the case with most serial killers) but he's more focused on his business than acting on them up until that point. So if Evan never died why would he feel the motivation to kill anyone? Let alone his own children for seemingly no reason.

I am a big believer that Afton doesn't love his kids, but there's obviously some level of care for them. At least that's the case with Evan and Elizabeth, since he clearly didn't want their deaths to happen. Maybe it's a desire for normalcy? Before the bite, he's mainly focused on building robots and entertaining children, but the bite changed all of that. If another one of his children were to die there would be no chance of ever getting that life back. That's one possible reason for wanting to bring Evan back. It could also be because of his fear of death, seeing the people around him die reminds him that one day he will meet the same fate. I'm not certain, but we'll be here all day if I keep discussing this.

Also he kept Mike around for that long, he doesn't seem to really care about him, but he still doesn't directly murder him. My theory is that he knew he would be useful to him, afterall, not many other people would be willing to go down into the death bunker to "rescue" his daughter even though she's been missing for years. So yeah, here are the main reasons Afton would not kill his children.

He sees them as useful

He would literally have no reason to

Evan's death was the thing that sent him spiralling in the first place

He doesn't hate them, he just doesn't care about them and killing them would do nothing for him

He'd probably be the first suspect and most likely get caught

[walker-extended-universe]

Bodyswap, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Relationship(s): Geri Broussard/Cordell Walker, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Tags/Warnings: Bodyswap, Magic, Confusion, Paranoia, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Sam gets settled into his "new life" while Dean and Cas search for answers.

Written for @whumptober Alt prompt 1: Bodyswap

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

-----------------

Dean grunted as he pulled Sam- or at least Sam’s body- down to the dungeon of the Bunker. “You gotta cut down on the burgers, Sammy,” he muttered as he strapped his brother down to the chair in the middle of the devil’s trap.

He sighed and turned to Castiel. “Can you figure out what’s going on here? He was fine when we got in last night.”

Cas nodded and walked over to Sam, pressing his fingers to Sam’s forehead. After a few seconds, he frowned. “I…. Sam doesn’t appear to be in this body.”

“What? So like he’s soulless?”

“No, there’s a soul in there…. It’s just not Sam.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you have to do that soul-fisting thing to know that?”

Castiel glowered at him. “I’m well aware of the limitations of my power. I could do that to learn whose soul this is, but I can tell enough to know that it isn’t Sam’s. The more pressing question is how his soul was transferred, and to where? Did anything strange happen on your most recent hunt? There was witch activity, if I remember correctly.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, it was a witch. A pretty strong one too, one of Rowena’s old rivals. We took her down, but she did try to do some kind of spell before we killed her. Maybe that was it?” It would make some kind of sense; he remembered that kid that switched bodies with Sam several years ago. It was possible, but it took an insane level of spellwork. Was that something she could’ve done on the fly?

“That is possible,” Castiel agreed. “I wager that since it was cast in the heat of battle, the spell may not have had the desired effect, which would explain why it didn’t work until after you two had gone to bed….”

“But that doesn’t tell us where Sam is or who replaced him.”

“No.” Castiel sighed. “I could ‘soul fist’ him, as you so elegantly put it, but I hesitate to harm Sam’s body. I suggest we wait until this stranger wakes up again and try to interrogate them. Based on what I witnessed, they seem as confused as we are. I doubt they’re malevolent. In the meantime, I suggest we figure out what spell the witch may have used or find a way to reverse what happened. The sooner we can get everyone back into their appropriate body, the better.”

Dean couldn’t agree more. “Alright. Sam grabbed some of the old hag’s books, so we can start there. Maybe we could call Rowena, just in case. She might know something about soul transfer shit.”

“I agree. I will keep a watch over our new friend while you investigate, just in case he wakes up soon or he’s not as friendly as I hope.”

Dean hated being relegated to research, but nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Shout if anything happens.”

“I will,” Castiel promised.

—-----------------

Sam had worked side-by-side with law enforcement on several occasions over the years. He’d used fake badges to get access to case files, intimidated his way into meetings with coroners, and occasionally given a lucky officer insight into what real monsters looked like.

Despite his many years of varied experience, Sam felt woefully unprepared for a day pretending to be a Texas Ranger.

Could he have called and taken a day off? Sure. But he was curious to know more about what he’d gotten dropped into so attempting to leave the ranch he woke up on was step number one. Since he was, in fact, able to drive away and arrive at a completely new location (even if he was late because he got lost), that told him it was unlikely this was some kind of simulation or heavily guarded facility. Not even the British men of letters could make a city appear out of thin air like this.

However, there was still a chance he was stuck in some sort of dream state or that he was being closely watched for…something. Whatever the reasoning was, he needed to play along and try not to break the rules, whatever those rules may be.

It never occurred to him that there might not be a game at hand at all, that he was rather just unlucky after a run in with a witch, but when were things ever that simple for him?

Unfortunately, Sam couldn’t seem to get a grip on what, exactly, he was supposed to be doing or how he was supposed to act. Getting into his computer had been easy enough as there was a well-hidden note with his password information. There were no active cases as far as he could tell and he wasn’t meant to go on patrol today. However, there were several reminders about paperwork that was due for something to do with a jackal and he didn’t even know where to start with that.

Apparently, the character he was supposed to be playing was really bad at the admin side of his job because he couldn’t even find any blank paperwork around his desk and he didn’t want to arouse suspicion by trying to ask someone. He spent a good half-hour sorting through his emails to at least find a template to go off of, which was surprisingly fruitful. Once the templates were printed out, he sat back at his desk and grabbed a pen to get to work.

Only… he had no clue what to write. He hadn’t worked this case, and searching through his computer only brought up documents from a different case that had closed five years ago. Was that case even related to what he was supposed to do now? He had no idea. And he definitely couldn’t ask someone about it. This stuff was usually pretty classified and given the amount of cluttered decorations on his desk, he’d been at this job for a while. Letting his coworkers know he’d suddenly forgotten everything would only arouse suspicion.

Maybe he should’ve taken the day off after all. He could’ve faked an illness and spent the day looking for hex bags. Or maybe he could’ve taken a bigger risk and attacked his “family” to try to get information out of them. Either of those would’ve been more productive.

“Walker? You feeling okay?”

Sam startled, dropping his pen and looked up to see a man looming over his desk. Probably the “James” that had been bugging him with emails. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just- paperwork, you know?” He tried to fake a smile. 

James nodded slowly. “Right…. Look, I understand the Jackal case was rough on you. It was hard on all of us. I know taking a leave of absence helped but…. Maybe you aren’t ready to get back into things.”

“I’m fine, sir,” Sam insisted. “I’m just trying to get my head clear on the details.”

“I’m sure.” James didn’t seem convinced. “Look, why don’t you just go home early today and tomorrow we’ll talk more. I’m going to insist you take that therapy option.”

“I don’t need-”

“This isn’t negotiable, Walker. I need you sharp; you’re the best man in my office and you’ve dealt with worse before. Just take some time off, enjoy an afternoon with your family, and we’ll talk tomorrow. Okay?”

Sam wanted to argue more, but decided to take the out in front of him. Fighting this would probably only cause problems for him later. Besides, that was more investigating time for him. “Okay, sir. I’ll…see you tomorrow.”

“Good man.” James clapped his shoulder as he walked past his desk and Sam waited until he was out of sight before packing up and leaving.

He had work to do.

—--------------

Geri had gotten the call from Cassie that something was off with Cordell at work and decided to take her afternoon off as well to help deal with it. She knew The Jackal case had been difficult for him (even if part of that suffering was self-inflicted) and she hated that it was still bothering him like this. She wished he would just open up to him about his problems, but she also knew that would be a long, hard battle.

Still, she had to try. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t? So, she drove to his house and, seeing she was there before him, decided to make them some lunch. Hard conversations usually went better with food.

By the time Cordell got home, she had freshly toasted sandwiches put on plates and ready to eat. “Hey!” she greeted, smiling brightly as he entered the door.

He looked at her wide-eyed. “Hey…. What are you doing here?” he asked carefully.

“I heard you had a rough day at work so I figured you could use a little pick-me-up. And let you know if you wanted to talk about anything, I’m here.”

He nodded slowly. “Right…. You didn’t have to do that.”

She shrugged. “I wanted to. Now, eat, before your mother decides to butt in.”

That got a small laugh out of him and Geri counted that as a win.

She waited until Cordell was well into eating his sandwich before she tried pushing the subject. “So, about what happened at work…. Are you feeling okay?”

Cordell slowed his chewing and stared at her, searching her face for…something.

Once he was done, he set down the other half of his sandwich and folded his hands in front of his chin. “Do you ever feel like…you woke up one day and now you’re living someone else’s life?”

Geri’s heart ached for him. She knew his job had caused him and his family grief over the years, but he’d always been determined for the cause. Maybe all the strain and stress was starting to wear on him and the Jackal was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, maybe with Stella and August moving on in their lives, he was starting to look at his own future and past regrets. 

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “I remember when I took over the Side Step after Frank died…. It was like I was just playing a simulation game, just going through the motions until I reached some arbitrary goal.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “You know I’m always here for you, right? No matter what you decide you want for the future?”

Cordell’s eyes never left hers. “What if I’m not the person you think I am?”

“Then I’d love to get to know you better.”

“What if I told you something that didn’t make any sense?”

“Then I’d help you figure it out until I did.”

“Even if that meant losing me forever?”

“If that’s what’s best for you….” It would hurt, but she would do it. “What’s with the existential questions?”

He looked back down at his plate. “Nothing. Just- thinking.”

She nodded. “I understand. But I’m still here, Cordi. No matter what.”

That earned her a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”