#and a study of a new technique i like it but it’s a pain in the arse ^_^)b

[jaimeski]

I'm growing right before your eyes / I might grow to such a size

Blow in like a hurricane / Everyone will know my name

[gu6chan]

you have my blessing to draw sirene if you’d like

YAYYYYYYYY THANK YOU i JUST finished a drawing from last night so your timing is perfect lol

Question: she has a few different versions, is there one you'd like in particular....? 👀

[girlscience]

back at the eye doctors 😭😭 I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE

[tsukimefuku]

blunt trauma ♰ nanami kento

summary: your mission is to execute a curse user. the issue? said curse user is nanami kento, your former high school classmate and the man who you still secretly love.

tags and cw: dark content, no use of y/n, sorcerer!f!reader, villain!nanami, +18, explicit smut (mostly rough with tender moments hate/love sex), unprotected sex (wrap it, ppl), masturbation, oral (f receiving), pv, from enemies to enemies who fucked 👍, drama and angst (i’m a latina who grew up watching telenovelas), mentions of death, canon-typical violence, ptsd, cursing, hurt/no comfort, this man is saltier than the sea and turned it into everybody else's problem. 

wc: 7.5k

notes etc.: somehow it became a character study. this is my rendition of what i think gege would make nanami to be like if they followed their original plan and had nanami be a villain. inspo list is so huge i had to make a playlist, i got carried away.

writing/reading soundtrack: playlist link ; main songs → way down we go (kaleo) and daylight (david kushner).

disclaimer: i do not in any way approve of (or encourage) the relationship depicted here. it is toxic and bad for all parties involved. this is fictional and should stay that way.

oh, father, tell me ♰ do we get what we deserve?

It felt like the air had been beaten out of your lungs by the very one and only blunt blade you ever knew when you heard the news from Gojo.

Of course the first thing he did when he finished wrapping things up was calling you. If roles were reversed, and this had been Geto, he wouldn't expect any less from you.

During the School's Exchange Event, Jujutsu High was attacked by multiple high grade curses and curse users.

One of them was your former best friend from high school, Nanami Kento. 

"Are you certain it was him?"

"Absolutely," Gojo replied on the other side of the line, "there were traces of cursed energy from his cursed technique. He was also spotted by one of MeiMei's ravens."

"And how many students did he…"

"Two students from Kyoto."

Your head instantly felt dizzy.

"He also killed around a dozen assistants and people securing cursed objects underground."

"Shit… shit," you muttered, forgetting for a few seconds what words were and how to form a coherent sentence. Following suit, your stomach dropped with a sinking ache the moment you made the obvious realization, uttering the most painful thing you had to say in your life — even worse than he's gone, so many years before.

 "This will earn him a death sentence, won't it?"

Gojo was silent for a few moments.

"Hey…"

"Tell me. I can take it."

After a bated breath — from your end, mostly — he confirmed your worst fears.

"Yes. It will."

Ever since Geto's and Nanami's defection, you and Gojo had a special type of shared sorrow over each other's failures to save the people you both loved the most. Call it trauma bonding or codependency, but you developed an unwavering sense of loyalty towards one another.

For that reason, he already knew what you were about to ask him, and you only would because you knew he wouldn't find it in himself to refuse it.

"When it happens, please, have me be appointed as the executioner."

"Of course."

Sitting with a glass of whiskey while gazing out of the window in an understated house just by the outskirts of Sendai, Nanami couldn't say he was fulfilled, unable to grasp the concept of feeling in any way elated ever since his teenage years. However, he was definitely satisfied that this plan had worked.

He managed to put a dent into Jujutsu Society, aiding Geto — or, at least, someone that looked like him, not that Nanami truly cared about it by this point — in retrieving multiple cursed objects that would be used for their inevitable fallout.

There had been a few casualties, though.

Two students and many personnel died — or rather, met their fateful end by the edge of his blunt blade —, but some deaths should be expected if Jujutsu Society was to be brought to the ground, down to its last brick.

Ever since that fateful day when he was nothing but a tall child sitting beside the cold corpse of his best friend, Yu Haibara, Nanami had simmered what would become a cauldron of absolute venom-dripping rage against Jujutsu Society.

To hell with saving other people — what about them? What about the teenager that would never grow to be a sorcerer, who became an inanimate nothing before ever getting the chance of making something out of himself? 

That face… Nanami could never forget it. It haunted his dreams, even a decade later. Such a stark contrast between the light-spirited smiles and this cold, gray monolith that laid in the morgue.

They had no right to rob their students from their youth, much less from their lives, but that's exactly what Jujutsu High did when they didn't even bother to check the mission appropriately before dispatching Haibara and Nanami to a certain death.

Nanami escaped, but just barely, by the skin of his teeth. Haibara, however, wasn't blessed with the same luck, and drew the short straw when his hitched final breaths met their end against Nanami's shoulder. Nanami, who carried his best friend on his back, desperately tried to win a losing race against death. 

Help was late to arrive.

They were too late for Haibara.

And, in a sense, they were too late for him, too.

The worst part, though, was when they were finally being transported all the way back to Jujutsu High. As he glanced over Haibara’s cadaver, now covered by a body bag, one particularly insensitive assistant very rudely stated, “at least there is a body to be buried.”

At least

There is a body 

To be buried

Those words echoed in his head for what felt like eternity. Was that the best they all had to hope for? To at least have remains left behind for the mourning?

In any case, that was why, even though he had to kill, Nanami never mangled any of his human victims — something not easy to do, given how his technique worked and how easy it was to split someone in half.

You had noticed this perverted benevolence while looking over the necropsy reports, a realization that just added insult to injury.

Let there be something for the funeral, I suppose, was what he told himself.

In his own twisted way, Nanami figured this was a kindness very few sorcerers received at their tragic ends, and decided he'd definitely be more compassionate than what Jujutsu High put their sorcerers through. 

In his eyes, those from Jujutsu High who died under his will were the ones granted a truly merciful death.

His peace was disturbed by the sound of the entrance door being brutally kicked in, flying its way across the living room. He pulled his blunt blade from the side of his armchair with his free hand, but quickly put it down when realizing it was you that had just barged inside.

He knew you very well — well enough to be certain you wouldn't come swinging at him immediately.

"I can see you still have a temper. Destroying the door wasn’t necessary, I would've opened it for you," he stated, sipping on his drink.

"I don't care," you retorted, "I guess you already know why I'm here, in any case."

"I do. You're here to carry out my death sentence," he stated, completely unbothered, as if talking about the weather.

As if he was just mundanely stuck in his ways. 

You huffed, placing your hand over your sword's handle.

"Precisely."

"We haven't spoken in a long time, why don't you take a seat?" Nanami inquired, pointing at the armchair right in front of him. "I want to finish my drink."

You glared at the curse user, as he, unfazed, kept gulping on his whiskey. Nanami was wearing a black buttoned shirt, black pants and black oxford shoes, and you couldn't help but see him as a grim reaper — this was a somber look, fitting for the equally somber man who carried it.

For a second, you took in his features — you hadn’t seen Nanami for a few years after the last time you crossed paths.

His shoulders had slightly broadened, and he still bore the same chiseled face, framed by his sand-blond hair neatly slicked back.

Nanami’s eyes traveled over you quickly, apparently doing the very same thing.

Time had left its marks. It was evident you both had grown up — and apart.

You knew this was a shit idea, but entertained it enough that you actually walked towards the chair and sat down. There were definitely things to be talked about, and you just about had a million questions for him.

Most of them, however, boiled down to what you immediately asked.

"Why did you do it?"

Nanami put his glass on the coffee table right in front of you.

"It was a necessary means to an end."

His words came with frost-bitten coldness, his voice embodying the monotone you once loved, but eventually, grew to hate.

You scoffed, incredulous at his reply, involuntarily clenching your fingers around your katana's handle as it laid on your lap.

"Necessary means to an end? Nanami, you killed teenage sorcerers!"

"As I said, and I don't like repeating myself," he interjected, "it was a necessary sacrifice for a greater cause."

"You're such a hypocritical, self-righteous ass!"

Nanami sighed, clearly displeased.

"We have always been able to keep some semblance of respect for each other, despite our… differences. Do not use that foul language with me."

You laughed bitterly, no amusement or fun in your voice as you did.

"Do you think I can still have an ounce of respect for you after what you did? You murdered my people! They were all sorcerers. You killed students, Nanami! Jujutsu High's students! Just like Haibara once was!"

He shot his eyes at you, and the aura of his cursed energy grew sinister at your words. 

"Don't say his name."

Yu Haibara, arguably the glue that kept the trio together. You were hot headed, Nanami was intransigent, and Yu was the conciliatory ray of sunshine that kept you two — but you, particularly — from constant quarreling as classmates nearly every day.

But back then, you'd argue with Nanami with love.

This wasn't the case now.

Not entirely, at least.

"He was my best friend too, the three of us were! Do you really think this is what he would've wanted?!" you questioned him, equal parts hurt and enraged.

"I'm not one to ponder on could've or would've been's. Haibara is gone."

"I'm not a would've been!"

You could still remember it. The day you realized why dealing with Nanami and hearing his sharp comebacks riled you up so intensely. 

You finally understood you were in love with him.

Ever since the first day you met Nanami, you envied the way he'd be able to keep his feelings in check when you constantly felt like falling apart. You felt jealous at how he was considered a greatly competent individual, regarded by all as the best of your class, while you were basically viewed as a ticking bomb nearing explosion. And finally, it made you livid the way how everyone treated him like the informal leader of the trio when the three of you were out on a mission together.

However, those were the same things that got you to admire your friend and, eventually, fall in love for him.

That day, you asked Nanami to meet you outside after class by himself — much to Haibara's dismay —, because you had something to tell him. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and the unforgiving sun of summer was already setting, casting an orange glow through the leaves of the tree you were both under.

After confessing your feelings for him and bracing yourself for being shot down, because why the hell would Nanami Kento, the brilliant, competent, and mature second-year, have any interest in the chaotic, hot headed mess you were, you realized he actually looked surprised. After taking a few moments to collect himself, Nanami told you how he had thought you actually hated him.

At last, somewhat nervous — but definitely intent on not letting it show —, he confided he had affectionate feelings towards you as well.

Your first kiss was awkward, as it would be expected out of two inexperienced people such as you and Nanami were at that age, but it carried the sweet taste of a blue spring marked by teenage years' innocence.

It felt like a promise.

Unfortunately, such promise was unmercifully cut short the very next day, when Nanami and Haibara were dispatched to their life-changing mission.

What an irony it was that, in the end, you were the one to actually mature over Haibara's death, growing up to be an upstanding sorcerer, loved and admired by peers and students alike, and Nanami was the bomb to blow up in everybody's faces.

What a cruel irony.

"I was there too, and I'm still here, having to pick up the pieces of what you deliberately destroyed!" you rasped, angrily.

"You weren't a 'would've been'? Where were you when we needed you? When I needed you?" his voice didn't conceal the tinge of hurt that those questions carried.

What a fucking low blow.

"Nanami, that's not fair. There wasn't anything I could've done in that situation, and you know that!"

You blamed yourself for a while for not going on that mission with them, until you realized that you too would probably have died if you were there. From the three, Nanami was the only one strong and fast enough to pull off an escape like he did.

He diverted his gaze back to the window.

"You were the one to bring up hypothetical scenarios. Let's indulge in them for a minute, shall we?" 

Nanami glanced back at you, and his next words brimmed with bitter resentment, even if his voice sounded more calm and collected than ever.

"You see someone you supposedly love slowly sinking into darkness. What do you do?"

"Don't you dare, you condescending prick! I asked you so many fucking times what was going on. You were the one who shut me out!"

Your voice carried a decade-old pain that resonated from the depths of your soul.

It came from all the times you entered his dorm room with his favorite sandwich after he had cooped up in there for days on end, and he didn't even bother to eat it. Every time you asked him to talk to you, said you were there for him, and was met by a vacant stare.

And, at last, the time when he cruelly blamed you for not being there when Haibara died.

The way he coldly told you about Haibara's last words.

According to Nanami, Haibara said he wanted to speak to you one last time, at least to bid you farewell.

And you weren't there.

Oh, the viciousness with which he blamed you, and decided you owed him something for this perceived failure. 

The next time Nanami talked to you, he asked you to leave Jujutsu High with him, just like Geto did, and swore to destroy them. You tried, pleaded, implored for him to reconsider and stay, but the very following day, you were met by an empty room where the person you once loved used to be. 

That emptiness had, paradoxically, filled you wholly with grief.

Gojo once told you that nobody could save someone who didn't want to be saved.

You still thought you should've tried harder, in a childish attempt at giving yourself an illusory semblance of control over that clusterfuck of a situation.

This is the gap inside our psyche that feeling guilty tries to fill, isn't it?

We can only feel guilty about the things we could've changed, right?

Your voice sounded decades older than yourself, burdening the weight of multiple lifetimes of hurt and grief. Your soul was too old for your own good.

"How can you find it in yourself to blame me for this?! No… This is a prison of your own making. You built the house of cards that is tumbling down on your head as we speak entirely by yourself."

He huffed intensely through his nostrils — Nanami’s version of a snort —, looking the other way before proceeding, each syllable hitting you with the deadly precision of his cursed technique.

"You abandoned us, leaving me and Haibara to fend for ourselves, just like Jujutsu Society did."

By that point, you began yelling, and your voice reverberated all across the room.

"The hell I did!"

You had to take a deep breath before proceeding.

"I just couldn't get behind this dumb idea that we should become curse users and bring down Jujutsu Society."

"Why didn't you come with me?" he finally asked, in an amalgam of pain, sadness, longing, anger, and stinging resentment. "I would have followed you to the deepest recesses of hell if you asked me to."

You huffed, laughing angrily in between your teeth, before thrusting your words like thorns against him.

"Funny you should say that. You'd go anywhere for me? How about staying? Why couldn't you have stayed for me, then?!" 

Perhaps that request was egotistical, but you didn't care. If only for a moment, you wanted to give yourself this small privilege — to want in a world of duty.

"I was the one actually left to fend for myself, right inside the belly of the beast, and you couldn't have cared less."

He stared at you, nothing in his eyes other than the void left behind after his spirit got killed with his best friend so many years ago.

"I didn't stay because… Because," Nanami stated, with a grave finality, "and you're the one who chose to stay. You're still actively choosing to, just like you did back then."

"That's not a good enough answer," you replied with a bad taste in your mouth.

"It's what you've earned," he coldly replied, "but in case you change your mind-"

"Enough," you interrupted him, incredulous that even after everything, this man had the nerve of suggesting you'd ever be interested in running away with him. "It appalls me you would even consider I could… After what you've done? No, never."

Nanami sighed, and for a brief moment, seemed to be actually disappointed under his resigned, polished visage.

"Well, then. Let's get this over with, at once."

In a split second, you pushed your chair on the ground, falling on your shoulders and rolling on your back, dodging his lightning-fast attack. It left a crater behind, right where you were seconds before. Nanami jumped over the fallen armchair, and you dodged him once again, spinning on your heels, unsheathing your sword as you did so, to deal a beheading blow on the back of his neck.

However, right before impact, you faltered, slowing down your movement.

Your own body held you back from taking his life.

He didn't seem to notice.

Nanami bent down just in time to avoid the blow, and swung his blunt blade towards your kneecap. You were quick on your feet, and jumped back, putting a good distance between the both of you.

"I can see you're actually fighting to kill," he noted, getting up on his feet.

"Of course. That's what I came here to do," you spat in his direction.

"You were never the practical one."

You scoffed.

"Guess I learned something from you."

He smiled at the irony of that, but his eyes didn't follow his expression. 

Nanami lunged at you, but while you thought he'd deal his next blow in your direction, he hit your footing, having you fall on the ground. Abruptly, his blunt blade descended in your direction, but you were able to catch it and have it slip to your side using your katana supported by your hand behind it, sending a sharp, loud sound around the vicinity, trembling against the bones and flesh of the house.

You rolled on your side when he struck a new hit in your direction, leaving another gaping hole on the floor, and you jumped yourself up. 

Before you could attack him, however, he took you by surprise, and you lifted your sword to defend yourself. Nanami hit your katana with his blunt blade, breaking it near where the handle and the steel met, launching your body back on the wall.

The impact knocked the air out of your lungs, and you fell to your knees, unable to recover yourself as you got up. Instantly, you heard his quick, steady steps sprinting their way in your direction.

You were cornered.

This is it.

You braced yourself for the impact, closing your eyes. You remembered his technique perfectly.

Precise, just as he was.

Deadly, just as he was, too.

You were to die at the hands of the man you loved, who had become a murderer and only a distorted, broken version of whom you used to truly love.

This seemed like an oddly cruel way to go.

However, the impact never came.

His blunt blade stopped as it was about to hit your stomach, and you opened your eyes, just to see his face mere inches apart from yours. His mountainous form blocked your view from anything else behind him, and Nanami, at that moment, actually looked like the menace he truly was. 

“Why were you appointed as my executioner?” Nanami asked, much to your surprise.

“I asked to be,” you answered, holding his gaze as something went through his eyes. A hint of anger, most likely, and some sense of betrayal, certainly. 

“So, you want to kill someone you once loved? You were always prone to self-penitence, so it stands to reason you’d do something idiotic like that.”

You scoffed, grimacing at him, feeling your entire body incandescent with rage.

“I fucking hate you, Nanami.” 

He inched his face even closer, brushing your noses against one another, eyes stone-cold and hauntingly vacant.

“I hate you as well.”

For a moment, you wondered if he had really stopped his blade before impact. You didn't expect it, but hearing those words felt like you just had been hit, victim of a blunt trauma, at how much they tore you apart. 

The same blunt trauma that severed the Nanami you once knew — the teenager with bangs, who'd always be carrying around a few spare changes to get soda cans from the vending machine for you and Haibara, in his own understated kindness — and this empty monster looking back at you.

"Good. Finish me off, then, and get your revenge for a crime I never committed. Being unfair and an all-around self-centered asshole certainly suits you, fucker."

His hand made its way up your neck, and you were pressed against the wall. The grip was firm, but not enough to choke you — it came more as a warning than anything else.

"I already told you to stop using that foul language with me," he ordered, low voice simmering with genuine irritation.

"Then make me," you challenged him, hoping for this torture to be over as fast as possible.

Just fucking kill me already.

His blunt blade fell with a thud on the floor, and you were confused for a moment, wondering if he really wouldn't give you the kindness of a quick demise. Did he plan on choking you to death?

Did he hate you that much?

His other hand came up, but before you could do anything to try to resist — which would be nothing but a futile attempt at survival, given that Nanami was physically much stronger than you —, his fingers snaked their way through the back of your hair, tugging it at the roots. 

His mouth clashed against yours, all teeth, tongue, anger, and hunger, and instantly every nerve in your body flared up with a raging fiery ember you hadn't felt in years. All the pent-up resentment, hurt, and desire you had for Nanami swirled together in your gut, guiding your hands up his hair, as you also pulled on it intently, robbing him of a gasp.

You intertwined your tongue against his, and he unceremoniously bullied his own inside your mouth, leaving no crevice unexplored, as his hand on your neck descended towards your waist, where he clenched his fingers with a vicious grip. You whimpered against his lips, and he grunted in return, pushing his body on yours. His throbbing growing cock could be felt, even through both of your clothes, as he pressed it right against the edge of your pants.

When you finally parted after what seemed like a not-long-enough eternity, you huffed and panted, and albeit less than you, he was panting too.

"I fucking… hate you…" you gnarled, glaring into his eyes. The hazel-brown gaze you once adored was now clouded and dark, like the muddy waters of a deep lake.

"Shut the fuck up," Nanami groaned back, strongly cupping your cunt with his large hand. You whimpered in surprise, and he pulled you in harshly for another kiss, letting go of your hair and sex to sink his fingers on the backside of your thighs, pulling them. You immediately jumped up and threw your arms around his shoulders, as he manhandled your legs to have them hooked around him.

He quickly took you both inside the room, and tossed you on the bed, having you gasping in surprise. Before you could catch your breath, he climbed his way on top of you, pressing your body down, and clashed his mouth against yours again, making you actually lightheaded from a lack of air.

You pushed against his chest, grunting uneasy, and surprisingly, he parted his lips from yours.

"What?"

You panted heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and mindlessly rested your hand on his cheek.

"C-can't breathe…" was all you mustered up to say, trying to replenish oxygen back into your system.

His eyes softened so discreetly you nearly missed it, and his cold-ivory enclosure slightly cracked under the affectionate touch he didn't expect.

Nanami had no idea how much he had craved it ever since you parted ways, and hated himself, just a little, for how much such an innocuous gesture stirred his old feelings up, throwing his heart against his chest in a fluttering rush.

I should be over her by now, dammit.

Nanami also brought his hand up your face, and ghosted over your cheek for a second before sliding his fingers delicately down over it.

You also weren't prepared for that, and your chest tightened all over your heavy heart as you remembered your first kiss.

The way he'd cup your face in his hands.

 So delicate, so lovely.

This touch, at this very moment, felt like a painful reminder of everything you had lost.

"Kento…" you cooed, voice strained in your throat, with all the things you were sure you'd never say.

He hummed your name in return, and kissed you while sinking your body against the mattress. This kiss was different, as his lips brushed gently over yours, and his tongue tenderly teased over the seam of your mouth. You welcomed him in, and you both explored these deep waters tentatively, as he upped the intensity after each stroke of your tongues against each other.

He tasted like whiskey, and bread, and the tainted love left behind as nothing but a reminiscence of less grueling days. You couldn't help but feel robbed by him.

You both had been missing out on this for all these fucking years.

"Why did you have to go?" you asked, pulling back from him, a tinge of anger to your cadence, and another of pain in your face.

"Why did you have to stay?" he spat back at you, equal parts saddened and resentful.

His mouth made its way to your neck, and you gasped with the sensation of his warm breath mingled with saliva against your skin, as he licked and bit his way around.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to push him away, and your eyes burned with the prickling sensation of tears that wouldn’t come. You were starved for his touch, his smell, his body, even if this was the murderer of your students, of your friends.

In your head, you felt like digging a hole and throwing yourself in it, to wallow in the misery of realizing that you were about to fuck the murderer of people you loved, and that it felt good.

A pool of heat and fire shot down your insides as your heartbeats throbbed in between your legs.

You hated yourself, and on top of it all, hated Nanami. 

Hated that you couldn't help but still love him, even after all he had done.

This was the setting tension in between the both of you, the two extremes of hate and love pulling against each other, all while the tug of war rope refused to snap to either side.

He pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aside, and you undid his shirt, unzipping his pants. He unzipped you too, and quickly enough, took off your pants along with your panties with a single sharp tug.

Back to rough, but not entirely, it seemed.

His hand glided against your thigh and his fingertips slipped over your entrance, getting completely glazed by your already dripping arousal. He grunted, a guttural and intense sound deep in his chest, giving you another bite on the soft skin of your neck.

"Hate me?" Nanami asked, teasing his digits over your cunt, "doesn't seem like it."

You managed to scoff at him, which would prove to be a mistake.

"Go fuck yours-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he dove two of his fingers inside knuckle-deep, without any hint of a warning, forcefully stretching your walls around them. You immediately let out a whimper so pitiful you wondered if that was really your voice.

He seemed satisfied at that. Perhaps, even elated.

"Good girl," Nanami whispered right beside your ear, nibbling against your earlobe with his teeth, sending shivers down your spine. He began sliding his fingers in and out, and you bucked down against his hand while moaning and mewling, walls sheathing his digits as he finger-fucked your cunt, neglecting your clit as punishment for calling him a condescending prick earlier.

His palm rucked against your dripping folds, echoing wet slaps all throughout the room, as your arousal kept pooling on his palm.

He mumbled softly against your skin, bringing his mouth up to brush against yours, "hate… you still love me."

You instantly drew one of your hands to slap him in the face for this hurtful teasing, but he had quick reflexes — quicker than yours. He dodged himself back as your hand hit the empty sheets, and edged his fingers to hit against your soft spot, pressing it so violently, you let out a strained cry from the shooting overstimulation pain.

"Ah- Shit!" you shouted, face all scrunched up.

"Can't you behave for once?" he chided, "why is it so hard for you to j-just-“ 

Nanami’s breath hitched in his throat as he grunted, unable to finish his sentence.

You shut him up the only way you could think — grabbing his cock harshly over his boxers. It was extremely effective, and he immediately humped his length against your hand, while lowly groaning.

With trembling hands and a violent snap, you haphazardly pulled his boxers down to his mid-thighs, as his fingers kept mercilessly bullying their way inside you, sending vibrating waves all throughout your body with every thrust.

“Stop… telling me… ah-aaah-“ you rolled your eyes back with a loud moan, struggling to keep a train of coherent thought, gnarling your next words,  “what to… ah- do!”

His cock sprang out, slapping against his belly. The tip was already flustered red, leaking with pre-cum, and had a long, prominent vein on the underside.

To punish him back for the roughness, you grabbed his length with one hand, and with the other, pressed the middle of your palm against his flushed tip, glistening his arousal around it with enough force to jump across the divide between intense pleasure and painful overstimulation.

Nanami cursed with a feral voice through his teeth, immediately biting the side muscles of your neck with no semblance of restraint, making sure to leave a purple remnant of pain etched on your skin.

“Ah- ouch! Fuck!” you spat out, tightening your grip around his cock, but weakened enough to release the tight pressure against his tip, letting him fuck into your hand. His hips bucked erratically, and his lips pressed a quick kiss right where he had previously bitten.

He couldn't help it.

Suddenly, Nanami stopped his rutting fingers to press his thumb against your already throbbing clit. That instantly had you seeing stars as you cursed loudly in between moans and grunts, drawing your free hand to his head, ferociously tugging at his hair, as heat pooled in your lower abdomen like fiery embers of coal.

He grabbed your arm, pulling it away from his shaft, and removed his fingers from your walls, having them clenching around nothing at such a sudden emptiness. You began complaining, only to have your voice cut short by his tongue slipping its way inside your mouth, in a sloppy, wet kiss. 

Parting from you, Nanami’s eyes were glassy, and you were absolutely sure your gaze must’ve looked just as hazy as his.

In a brief moment, before you realized it, he slid himself down, and unceremoniously lapped at your already sensitive clit with his warm tongue, hot breath tickling against your sensitive skin.

Both of your hands descended towards his hair, brushing over his golden and now messy locks more tenderly than you expected. Nanami suddenly shivered and moaned into your cunt, edging his tongue down your folds and back, eyes fluttering shut the moment he tasted you entirely.

He felt a tinge of pain clench at his chest, realizing this was the taste he had missed out on for all that time — your taste, which would surely ruin him forever.

Nanami’s pain, however, was quick to turn into outrage, as he began sucking on your clit relentlessly, eliciting the most animalistic sounds you had ever uttered.

You instinctively tried backing away, and he pulled on your thighs, holding them with such a violent force that his hand was sure to leave an engraving of his digits over your plush skin.

Nanami was intent on dragging this orgasm out of you by any means necessary.

You had never given him anything he wanted from you — be it the company to fight against Jujutsu High or the same unwavering loyalty he had for you. So this was something he’d take.

If you wouldn’t be by his side, then the least you could do was to cum for him so fervently, he’d be sure to ruin you just as much as he felt like you had ruined him. You owed him that, or so Nanami thought.

“Aaah-- Kento! S-slow d-… fuck!”

You came with a thunderous shout, jolting your hip forward as your thighs tightened with inhuman strength to the sides of his head. Nanami made sure to deliciously lick your way down from your high, applying such a precise and perfect pressure on your clit that you could’ve wept from sheer satisfaction.

After your legs went limp, he slowly climbed his way back to you, pressing kisses all over your body, leaving a ghost of heat wherever his mouth traveled. When Nanami finally reached your face, he put his forearms against your sides, hands over your shoulders, caging you in, as he pressed his mouth against yours in a slow kiss.

You were floating in a calm sea, salty waves caressing your body every time they passed through, and it felt cozy. Inviting, even. As he parted his lips from yours, Nanami gazed into your eyes in the way he used to.

For a second, you got catapulted into the past, and the orange sun that warmed your cheeks through the leaves as you kissed for the first time seemed to shine its rays over again.

With his arms around you, the nonsensical feeling of being protected washed over your heart.

“Come with me,” he whispered with a sultry, husky voice. 

“Kento…” you cooed, sighing, wanting nothing more than for this moment to extend for infinity.

But it couldn’t.

You didn’t go with him, so many years ago.

And wouldn’t go now, either.

That wasn’t how it worked for the both of you.

Nanami understood it, and what seemed like another crack against his unwavering walls had formed the moment his brows furrowed above his eyes.

“Fine, then,” he said, with a tinge of genuine hurt to his voice.

You parted your thighs to accommodate his hips, and he obliged, guiding his hand down to align his cock against your entrance. You bent and hooked your legs around him, pulling him in, and as the tip of his length got pressed against your dripping cunt, he gasped slightly over your lips.

Nanami sunk in slowly, going through your already relaxed ring. However, it apparently wasn’t relaxed enough, or perhaps he was just too big, because you could feel every inch of stretching his cock made against your walls as he slowly bottomed out inside your cunt.

His mouth fell open and you exhaled a moan into it, breaths mingling together. You two drank each other in. Nanami pressed his forehead against yours, and you both held each other’s gaze, as he pulled your left wrist above your head, holding it there, pushing you down the mattress by your waist with his other hand.

After a moment for you to take him in, Nanami began rolling his hips into you, while his hand kept bruisingly pressing your wrist against the mattress. You could feel his balancing act of trying to love you and wanting to hurt you at the same time.

You weren’t so different from him in that sense, though. Your nails got dragged down his back with abrasive force, and for a second, you considered drawing blood from him. He grunted, and you saw the spark of cold-hearted anger flash through his now dimmed eyes.

You both wanted to love each other just as much as you wanted to hurt each other.

In a more forgiving universe, perhaps, he’d hold your hand tenderly, intertwining his fingers in yours. Maybe you two would be in the kitchen as he showed you one of his favorite bread recipes, and share quiet moments of understanding companionship when remembering those who had left this world too soon.

But this wasn’t that universe, unfortunately.

He was to die, and you were to carry out his execution. 

Except you couldn’t, because even if you still tried to cling on to any sliver of morals, even if his life was something yours alone to take, the mere thought of a world without Nanami was far worse than the reality of a world in which he was a murderer.

You insisted on fighting a losing game, and much to no one’s surprise, you lost. 

Good riddance to me, I suppose.

His grunts came hitched and stuttered against your mouth as he was now rutting himself into you, biting your lower lip hard enough to almost pierce the skin with his teeth. You moaned loudly, dragged around with pain and pleasure, the combo that seemed to summarize the gist of your relationship.

He let go of your wrist and descended his hand without a warning towards your already overworked clit, glazing his thumb against the ring of arousal you were leaving around him before starting to make circles around your nub. Your moans came out cracked and faltering, as you tried to resist the instinctive urge of fleeing that the overstimulation was eliciting.

“Give me… one more,” Nanami groaned lowly against your cheek, planting multiple kisses down the side of your face and your chin. His hair — which had already fallen from its usual slick arrangement — brushed against your fluttering eyelids, momentarily weaving golden sand colors over your your vision, and you drove both your hands to the back of his head, pulling him in for another kiss. 

You could kiss him like this forever. 

You actually wanted to, at that moment.

To his request, you nodded, and this was probably the first time you acquiesced to any request Nanami had ever made to you. 

Fulfilled, his thrusts and his finger over your clit became increasingly erratic, as he was now moaning your name against your mouth. You pushed your tongue over his, sliding your hands up his head to tug at his roots, and that was all it took to tip him over the edge.

Nanami came with a muffled groan, having your tongue still pushed inside his mouth, and kept pumping himself inside you trying to keep the comedown at bay. His thick, white cum got glazed all over inside you, and the slaps of flesh and skin began sounding ever more wet than they already were.

You weren’t so far off, with your walls fluttering around him, and he noticed it, keeping his now trembling thumb pressed and circling intently over your clit. With one perfectly applied nudge on your sensitive bud, Nanami finally pulled you over the edge along with him.

Some tears began pooling on the edges of your lashes, and all your emotions — anger, sadness, grief, longing, and a particular brand of despair you cultivated during the last decade — came crashing down as he wrenched your second orgasm from you.

Your body convulsed under him, fluttering walls expelling his softening cock out, as you shouted and grunted into his mouth. You didn’t know if you were more furious at yourself for still loving him, at him for loving you, or at Jujutsu Society for jumbling you both like pawns to be tossed around until you two were broken beyond repair.

Angry at them for sending the young out to have their spirits crushed too soon. For all the deaths no one got to mourn because there was too much work, too little time, and the wounded were always left behind to fend for themselves.

Just like you were.

And just like Nanami was.

You sat at the edge of the bed while putting your shirt back on, and looked back at Nanami, who had his buttoned shirt open over his chest.

“Are you still resolute on your decision of not coming with me?” Nanami asked, with a tinge of eagerness. Or maybe it was just your imagination.

You pondered for a moment, and knew exactly what the answer to that question was.

“Yes. I’m not coming with you.”

For a second, you caught the faintest glimpse of the person he used to be. Something aching to genuine disappointment.

The longing that flashed through him, unfortunately, was quick to go, as he began buttoning his shirt down, averting his gaze elsewhere.

“Why?”

“Because I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I did,” you stated, sighing before continuing, “and it’s not because I can’t kill you or because I love you that I don’t despise you. You crossed an uncrossable line.”

He pursed his lips, and almost felt regretful for the path he chose.

Almost, since regret now would come ten years too late.

“You can’t go back. They will know you let me go,” Nanami remarked. Be it from him or from looking around this house, Jujutsu High would surely hold you accountable for this — for willingly letting the curse user and murderer, Nanami Kento, escape their wrath.

“I know that,” you replied, a tad bit more defeated than you expected, “that’s why I’m fleeing to Hokkaido.”

He sighed and looked at you. You held his gaze, feeling a little hint of anxiety at what he seemed to be simmering under the surface.

With a warmer expression — or as warm as he could muster it up to be  —, Nanami spoke again. 

“I truly want you to come with me. You’d be safer. We’d… be by each other’s side.”

For a moment, you faltered, open lips with no sound coming out of them. Blinking yourself back to Earth, you asked, “you mean together?”

Nanami kept silent, but nodded, waiting for your response.

He wasn’t just asking for you to come with him, but to be with him.

You wanted to. You did. Something Nanami never knew was just how much you wanted to follow him when he asked you the same thing, so many years ago.

But even though you wholeheartedly loved him with every minute part of your being, your loyalty lied elsewhere.

Not with him, but with the people he had killed.

Well, at least that was the comfortable lie you were capable of living with.

It would destroy you to realize the loyalty you had for the murderer of the people you loved. 

In the end, even if you weren’t a teenager anymore, you were just as much a hostage to your feelings as you had always been.

The ticking took a long time, but the bomb eventually went off.

With a decade’s old delay.

“I… just can’t. I can’t.”

Nanami reclined himself against the wall over which the bed rested, closing his eyes as he supported the back of his head on it. 

He never told you, but this moment broke his heart all over again.

He felt pathetically small.

Guess we get what we deserve, after all.

“You really do have a taste for penitence,” Nanami noted, his voice barely concealing the bitterness that tainted those words.

You scoffed, getting up on your feet, ready to leave as the first rays of sunshine began bleeding through the thick curtains that covered the bedroom’s window.

“Go to hell.”

He chuckled, a sound you hadn’t heard in a very long time. However, it sounded off-key. Wrong.

Sad.

“We’re already here.” 

At the end of it all, he wasn’t wrong.

You were doomed to always keep leaving each other.

If only the world had been a little kinder.

But kindness, it seemed, wasn’t in the cards for you.

End notes: I’m silently screaming. Oh my, this one took way longer than expected, but I enjoyed the writing process during every step of the way (I mean, if that wasn’t evident already from the fact that I made a playlist for this 😂). I forgot how much I was a sucker for gut wrenching angst. Hope you enjoyed it too! 🦉

-

Tag list: @actuallysaiyan @diogodxlot @jadedjane @redlikerozez @voiceless9000

@marvelousfanfictionbitch @kentocalls @ohhheymessa @magical-girl-b @simp-manhwa

@codenamesongbird

[kysuguru]

dear mother — stsg x fem!reader

synopsis : you’ve finally enrolled into jujutsu tech, sad thing is, you’re totally clueless.

includes / cw : emotionally abusive mother

all mine masterlist

a /n : ch1 of my “all mine” series!!!

"i'm ogawa [name]. i'm from sendai japan. please take care of me."

you bow politely. smiling at the tiny class of three as you rise, posture nervous and stiff.

"if i knew there was someone new i would've thrown a welcome party!" a white haired boy who's eyes are protected by circular black glasses exclaims excitedly, a smile big on his lips. you admit you're a bit intimidated. the idea of a party for you seems a bit over the top, though.

a boy on his left scoffs almost affectionately, the soft look he sends to his counterpart familiar to you. you always looked at the street cats like that, your mother as well (you try not to think about it). he has a bang over his left eye, you wonder if someone has ever tried to tuck it behind his ear.

"there's no need for a party. my arrival can't be that exciting," you chuckle shyly.

they all analyze you. so you settle with looking at your shuffling shoes.

"she speaks so formally." the gojo boy leans over with a hand cupped around his mouth as he whispers to his best friend, causing you to look up. it's a bit silly that he's acting as if he's whispering a secret even though everyone can hear him.

his friend eyes you apologetically.

there's another girl, the only one who seems actually interested as she stares you down. you flinch as you catch her gaze. her hair is short, in a brown bob that frames her face perfectly. her bangs are tucked behind her ear and there's a mole you catch on her face that convinces you she's model worthy.

other than your mother you've never thought a woman was so pretty.

"so new girl, what's your cursed technique."

new girl.. but i swore i said my name. did i not?

ignoring the white haired boy's lack of manners was easy, since you weren't all that aware he was being rude.

"i actually... don't know."

all three students chorused at the same time.

"hah?"

scouted? me? when you heard such a thing, you were confused and honestly, really surprised. you weren't talented by any means. outside of studying you didn't have much going on. not only that, but your mother kept you in the house a lot. so to hear of someone from jujutsu tech finding you worthy enough to attend had you blinking, astonished.

you were aware of what jujutsu was, cursed techniques and all of that jazz, but your knowledge was still limited beyond that. your mom was adamant on you not attending for reasons she refused to tell. obviously you didn't push. you never liked seeing her with a temper.

the man who recommended you was named yaga masamichi. he'd taken note of the significant amount of cursed energy you possessed when passing by you on your way to school. your family weren't jujutsu sorcerers from what you were aware of — you honestly weren't even sure that there were jujutsu sorcerers or people like you until now. but you'd never put it past your mom to hide something like that from you.

she always kept jujutsu related talk under wraps, only giving you little information to quell your curiosity.

you didn't even know what your cursed technique was. or if you even had one. even though you tried to understand why she does what she does, it still felt very lonely — seeing such heinous creatures and having to pretend they didn't exist for your own safety.

if it weren't for the fact that you instinctively learned to control your cursed energy output, you could've been in serious danger.

and although it was painful to go through such things alone — not being able to confide in a single person — you understood why your mother did it. all she wanted to do was keep you safe.

and even if you followed all of her rules of no jujutsu to a T, you couldn't help the sensation of excitement and relief knowing that there were so many other people out there just like you. a school of them, even.

you wanted badly to be upset with your mother, the fact that she knew about all of this and kept it from you. but even the thought of being angry at her when all she wanted was to protect you had you pushing down those foolish feelings.

other than secretive, your mother was also very stubborn. a trait that you always admired until this very moment.

she argued that you didn't belong into a school that was practically a death trap for young teens. always listening to your mother like an obedient puppy, you looked down at the floor, preparing for the inevitable rejection, expression sad as you shuffled your shoes alongside your mothers that were planted firm on the ground — you resisted the urge to distance yourself from her.

your eyes drifted to the shoes that were yaga's hoping no one would question your silence (they never did).

your mother wasn't a bad person. never that. but sometimes you couldn't help but get upset at the decisions she made in your stead. you wouldn't say that she didn't consider you, but sometimes it kinda felt that way.

"i get where you're coming from. jujutsu tech is a dangerous place and i hate to bring such young talented kids into such risks. but you have to understand your daughters side," he gestured towards you, your mothers eyes dropping to your head that perked up before they glared back at yaga.

"how do you think she feels knowing she has the opportunity to branch out and gain knowledge about these abilities. do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"

your ears rang as the last sentence was spoken.

"do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"

it resonated with you in a way you couldn't comprehend. all you could do was clutch your chest as a foreign feeling of relief left your choked up throat in a bated breath. the exhale feeling as if you were being freed from something. being seen.

"[name], my sweet darling baby," she caressed the top of your head. it was instinct to lean into her touch, even though at the moment you couldn't sort out how you felt towards her.

she's protecting you. the words whisper in your ear, like a disease that is incurable, like a predator that sinks its fangs and refuses to let go.

"mommy wants you to stay home with her. please consider it. it's so dangerous out there, and i really don't want you to get hurt," she cooed. it made you feel sick and you hated not knowing why. even though her words were meant to console you, they only made you want to run.

your eyes were glued to the dirty mat that you and your mother refused to clean, maybe because it was the most familiar thing in this constant changing house. there were five pairs of shoes, you, yaga, and mother and two unworn pairs off to the side, both meant for other occasions, better ones. ones that don't include the ringing of your ears and the well of your tears as they collect on your lashes. maybe it's an occasion where you're at a nice dinner with your mom, a rare treat whenever she deemed herself in the mood.

the bigger pair of shoes shifted. yaga.

"miss ogawa. i don't mean to overstep, but have you considered you're babying your 15 year old child? maybe you need to consider that she can make her own-"

"don't you dare tell me how to parent my own damn child." her voice is dripping with venom, the venom that seeps through you and whispers in your ear.

i just want to protect you.

your mothers anger was never a calm one, it was loud and furious, voice bouncing off the walls as she tried restraining herself from getting violent. so hearing her talk to the man in such a familiar tone had you quivering in her hold.

your mother, never under the assumption that she could ever be the reason you were upset, deduced that your shivers were caused by yaga.

so she glares, long and hard, and her lips move to form the words you were dreading, "my daughter is not attending your shit school. get out of my house.”

...

other than the sound of life beyond the door, there only laid cold, anxious silence.

you were afraid to look up, your mother's shirt being your only anchor. but from the resigned sigh that left yaga's lips, you were well aware of the expression he was making — one of anger, and disappointment. realizing that seeking you out was a waste of his time.

or so you assumed.

for he could only look at you in pity, acknowledging how painful a relationship like this must be for you, and in longing, hoping foolishly that he could lend a helping hand.

a rough calloused hand entered your vision, a piece of ripped paper in the grip of his fingers.

yaga gestured it towards you patiently, a look of sorrow marring his usually calm expression. "if there's a change, please call this number."

your mom ripped it from his grasp right before you could touch it. she crumpled it in her hand. "there won't be a change. now get the fuck out of my house."

you could only stare in horror at your mothers fist that held the only thing that could possibly change the trajectory of your life. even as yaga bowed and turned around, even as the door slammed shut behind him. even as mother soothed you with quiet coos meant for a baby, even as she turned towards the kitchen to start on dinner, even as she sat you down and commented on your silence. even as she watched you absentmindedly pick on your food, even as she started to become agitated at your lack of response, and even as she treaded up the stairs to her bedroom. your eyes stayed glued to that one hand.

you blinked, eyes dry and mouth parched as you suddenly remembered that you weren't at the front door anymore while your mother cradled you in her arms.

your eyes drift to the front door, and you approach it slowly. you don't know why you stand there or why your hand touched the door knob.

maybe it's because you're hopeful that the man is behind this door. waiting patiently for you to open it, prepared with the words of acceptance. maybe something amongst it that helps you figure out what the hell to do.

"a school of them." you whispered, the only thing capable of leaving your dry mouth.

there was a school of them. proof that you really weren't alone in this cursed world. how could you possibly go back to the difficult life of acting as if everything was normal when it wasn't? blue auras were around everybody, and the grotesque creatures festered from the negative feelings surrounding those people. and there were those out there who knew how to get rid of those things for the sake of others.

knowing all of this, you couldn't stand by and not lend a hand, not learn to control the one thing that's burdened you your entire life. but..

you looked up the stairs, seeing just the top of your mothers door.

what would she do? she needed you. you both took care of each other, you couldn't leave her behind.

but you needed this. you wanted to figure all of this out. control theses abilities and hopefully get to know people who were just like you. and... you could always come back.

yeah.

who said you had to stay? you would go, go to jujutsu high, reach your goals, and return to your mother.

because even though you may make friends with those of similar backgrounds to you, your mother was a constant in your life, never changing. you couldn't abandon her. you wouldn't.

so with this new resolve in your heart, you snuck up to her room. she kept her door creaked for unknown reasons, maybe to keep an eye on you, but you ignored that and thanked its convenience for this very moment.

she was asleep. snoring.

you treaded carefully over to the bed, eyes focused on the bags growing under her lashes. the sight made your lips twitch into a small frown. you delicately tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. listening to her steady breathing as she dreamt the night away.

"wait for me, mother.”

you turned away and grabbed the piece of paper off of her nightstand, leaving the room with a sense of urgency.

you dialed yaga's number after locking your bedroom door, pacing around in circles as the phone rung. the ringing resonated in your ears like a ticking clock. you didn't really have time. if he wouldn't answer now you'd never get your chance.

your mom was an early bird and you could already feel yourself getting drowsy.

"i mean. who even calls this late. he might be asleep..." you whisper defeatedly and pull the phone away from your ear to hang up, but it lights up with his icon and you jump in excitement.

"miss. ogawa?"

"masamichi-san. it's [name]."

Dear mother,

I've departed, something I'm sure you noticed. As much as I wanted to obey you, I couldn't just abandon the opportunity that could help change my life for the better. I know you were trying to protect me, and I know that it's dangerous. But I can't live knowing that my life could be different. I can't just sit by and watch this spark of light dim, let my world go dark again. I'm not like you, mother. I will not stay ignorant. Wait for me, please.

I lov-

a loud shrewd rip echoes through the quiet house. your mother's eyes are dull, face empty as she starts furiously ripping the paper to shreds.

she suddenly screams out in anger, tears of frustration bubbling and blurring her vision. she grips her hair in agony as she starts chanting curses.

"dammit dammit, dammit!! i told her it was dangerous. i told her. damn her!! good for nothing daughter... not listening to a fucking word i say!!"

your mom stomps angrily out of her room, not caring for the small pieces of paper she tramples over.

"I love you,"

"mother."

[belphies-cowgirl]

little things they do for you

word count: 900+

content warning: mentions of body image (if I am missing anything please let me know and I will add it!)

Lucifer

invites you into his study whenever he gets a new record. he prefers listening to it with you in his arms. also, he'll play the piano for you if you ask him.

will praise you for minor or major accomplishments. even if you don't think something deserves praise he gives it to you anyways. he's so proud of his human. 

wakes you up gently by rubbing your back or your shoulder. sometimes if you've stayed up late studying or working he peppers your face with gentle kisses (he will drag you out of bed lovingly if he needs to)

Mammon

will hype you up and be your partner in crime. will indulge in creating chaos or doing something stupid with you. you have his full support and he'd do anything for you, even if it results in him getting strung up by Lucifer. he'll happily take the blame and punishments for you. 

will let you have control over the radio and heat/ac settings in his car. will let you put your feet up on the dashboard too. he bought a car charger for you in case you forget to bring yours and he'll order for you in the drive-thru (has what you want memorized, but still asks if you want something else) 

helps you with chores. does laundry with you and carries your laundry basket (cleans out the lint trap for you too) does the dishes with you, he washes while you dry or vice versa. moves furniture for you while you vacuum (let him woo you by showing off his strength) want to rearrange your room at 3 am? he'll help you. 

Levi

if you're into cosplay he'll make outfits for you. he'll make sure it fits perfectly and has some wiggle room for comfort.

will let you sit on his lap and help you get through hard levels or help you find new areas and items. will guide your hand with his while doing so and praise you. 

if you're anxious about something he'll try anything to ease some of your anxiety. he'll give your hand reassuring squeezes or talk you through a breathing exercise or simply listen to you talk about what's making you anxious. he'll look up more ways to deal with anxiety and practice them with you. 

Satan

texts you quotes from books or poems that remind him of you or when he wants to be romantic. he sometimes takes inspiration from romance novels when planning a date. also surprises you with flowers for no reason. 

will help you study or write an essay. teaches you how to color code, organize, find proper resources, and reassures you that you're doing a good job. he'll be patient and adapt his techniques to any learning style you prefer. 

will spend hours with you in a bookstore, and carry any books you want to buy. if you like to spend a decent amount of time in certain genre aisles, he'll grab books you can't reach or just be content standing near you while you look through the books. 

Asmo

want an outfit that didn't come in your size or was sold out? he'll somehow get it for you or make one for you. need some alterations done? say less. see something you like but you're low on funds? say less. 

have any pain, discomfort, or trouble relaxing? he's got heating pads, pain relievers, an aroma diffuser, bath salts, anything you can think of for pain relief or relaxation. he also gives really good massages. 

will help you with any insecurities you may have. reassuring words, compliments, and sticky notes on any mirrors to remind you that you're beautiful and are worthy of so much more than you think you deserve. will buy you products that help enhance your natural beauty. he'll also help you take care of yourself with little reminders or help you establish and keep up with a daily routine.

Beel

lets you wear his clothes if you're having one of those days where you just want to hide your body or just want to feel super comfy and smell like him.

he reminds you to eat every day. he understands if it's hard sometimes for you to eat at least 3 meals a day or eat when you're not feeling well. will ask if you'd like some of his food or if he can make you anything. will also let you steal food off his plate. 

will support you and keep you motivated if you want to work out. he'll get on the treadmill next to you or go for a walk with you. anything you want to do he'll do it with you. shares his water bottle with you if yours is empty. will make smoothies, protein shakes, or trail mix with you. he'll encourage body positivity, but won't cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable. 

Belphie

gives you space and understands if you don't want to take a nap with him or cuddle. will offer to let you borrow one of his blankets or pillows to sleep with instead.

will comfort you if you have nightmares or trouble sleeping. don't feel secure after a nightmare? he'll hold you close or act like a weighted blanket for you. 

lets you kick him in your sleep and he'll adapt to any of your sleeping positions. want to sleep like a starfish with one leg up on the wall? that's fine, he'll make room for you and find a different way to cuddle.

✄ ——————————————————————

feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me a message, or an ask <3

please do not use my work as your own! 

[thefandomlesbian]

Thinking about House's infarction and recovery and based on the scar, I think he would have had a wound vac for a significant period of time.

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, this is conjecture for the sake of fandom, any misconceptions are my own.)

So this is House's scar, per the screen grab I can get off of Google.

In my opinion, the scar seems like it wasn't well-approximated at the time of closure, which makes sense; it's consistent with the idea that his leg was opened and necrotic tissue was debrided, leaving wide margins that couldn't be secured with sutures. (This is a guess; muscular infarctions are incredibly rare and I haven't found any information online on standard procedure for clearing necrotic muscle tissue surgically.) Combine with the fact that an infarction is a clotting issue that can interfere with circulation and perfusion, I think House may have been discharged with a wound vac.

A wound vac is an electronic negative pressure device that assists with wound closure for open wounds, ie the outermost layer of skin isn't sutured/stapled and underlying tissue is exposed. These devices are usually in place for a few weeks.

(This is a stock image I swiped from Google associated with a study on the efficacy of wound vac closures.)

Basically, the tubing hooks to a machine that provides suction for any drainage and helps everything remain clean, among other things. The dressing is generally changed every 48-72 hours and is pretty painful, the adhesives involved are strong to provide total suction (the machine will flag if there is any leak and start beeping, so it must be completely airtight). I've had it described to me as, "It feels like they're peeling your skin off and digging around in your wound."

So from pain alone, this is not something House would've been able to do well by himself. He also eschews nurses, so I find it most likely Wilson provided this care for him. As a surgeon, Wilson is well-acquainted with wound closure techniques and with stages of healing, this is his area of expertise. This is something that needs to be done every 2-3 days, for 3-4 weeks, maybe longer depending on how the wound healed.

Again, based on scarring, it looks like there may have been healing complications. Which, granted, it's House. We see him perform bathtub surgery with no sterile technique or gloves (he also might have had a wound vac for that, too). House attempting to perform his own dressing changes, or worse, foregoing them altogether because it's too painful, except now the suctioned drainage is green and the periwound is hot and bright red and his leg is starting to swell. He needs help, he can't do this himself.

Wilson wants to take him to the hospital to sedate him for debridement and provide IV antibiotics, but House won't go, he's afraid of losing his leg if he's anesthetized again, he'll sooner die of sepsis. Wilson, against his better judgment, does what he must. Clears the dead tissue, cleans the wound, replaces the wound vac dressing, new tubing and canister, all while House is biting a towel like a civil war soldier because he won't be anesthetized again. Wilson fills oral antibiotics to control the infection. Going forward, he religiously changes the dressing, because if the wound becomes gangrenous he knows House will die before he consents to an amputation.

We all discuss House relying on Wilson for mobility after the infarction, which I also think is true and deserves a spotlight. But wound care is such a personal act with regards to House's profession and personality that the notion of Wilson providing for House in this way has me salivating.

[gatheringbones]

[“An unfortunate reality that still permeates many psychotherapy offices is the archaic belief that these trauma-bonded relationships can be remedied by teaching problem-solving strategies, communication skills, and conflict-management techniques. While these teachings are beneficial and certainly have their place when working within dysfunctional relationships, it is my personal and professional experience that these interventions do not access the core of what is disconnecting partners, nor do they get to the heart of the matter regarding the pathways that create meaningful change.

During my early years of counseling, helping couples and individuals on their relationship issues, I would also teach my clients how to apply these old techniques and strategies, but I felt a sense of insufficiency and guilt. I knew there was more underneath the surface of what they shared with me, which signaled the deeper issues that were so clear to me I could almost touch them. I knew that these painful tethers bonding my clients in fear and distress were the hidden patterns of unmet needs. I knew this. But how could I help my clients not just understand what was happening but deeply experience it and become conscious of it enough to reach out to their partner with vulnerability and clarity, to show up for their partner with openness and acceptance and make meaningful changes?

So I went on an exploration. I dove into clinical approaches like attachment theory and emotion-focused therapy. I studied somatic therapies and microexpressions and learned the language of the emotional body. I became a student of ancient philosophies, spirituality, and esoteric wisdom to acquaint myself with the meaning of life and become comfortable discussing existential truths that can sometimes paralyze us. I studied interpersonal neurobiology and various sciences to help me conceptualize the human brain and body in a state of connection or disconnection. I absorbed it all. One key takeaway I learned from my immersion into the human experience is this: Our relationships act as a mirror into the depths of our own selves. They show us what we accept, what we reject, and what we hide, sometimes even from ourselves. Our relationship dramas are the reenactments of unresolved traumas still locked within our mind and body, signaling our conscious mind where healing can take place. In this way, the journey to connection with another must be a simultaneous journey through reconnection with the self. This book is that journey.”]

laura copley, from loving you is hurting me: a new approach to healing trauma bonds and creating authentic connection, 2023

[letsquestjess]

One, Two, Throw - Part 2 (Hunter x F!Reader)

Summary: Your knife throwing skills improve, and Hunter wants to show his appreciation.

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: Smut! 18+! MDNI! Fingering. PiV (unprotected).

Part 1

-- -- -- -- --

Extending your arm, you drew the blade back and hurled it at the wooden board. The rotations were broader and more stable than they were a few weeks ago. Confident. Laden with surety. With a solid thunk, the tip of the knife pierced the side of the bullseye, mere millimetres from your intended target. 

Ever since your training session with Hunter, you had embraced the skill and discovered that the required concentration brought a sense of tranquillity and hush. Nothing beyond your own bubble of focus mattered. It was just you, the mark, and the affectionate eye of your love observing you with pride. 

Every time you returned to the house after practising, Hunter gushed at how you were improving. While nestled in his arms one night, he had confided his appreciation for your willingness to understanding this aspect of his identity. It brought you both closer, opening a new dimension to your relationship, and through it, Hunter shared more about his life before choosing to remain on Pabu. Sometimes murmured in the darkness, other times conversed over a meal or while tackling the laundry. During those serene moments, he disclosed a deeper part of himself to you, and your affection for him heightened.

From the kitchen window, you could sense his watchful gaze. You didn’t need his enhanced senses to know. Every time you honed your knife throwing skills, he would be there, smiling as you developed and occasionally giving you a thumb up to boost your confidence. 

As you fetched the knives embedded in the board, you noted the ache in your limbs. Having been outside for a while, basking in the sun and sharpening your technique, you needed a break. You ducked through the screen-covered door and into the kitchen, setting the blades aside. 

Hunter finished washing the last plate and set it in the dish rack. “You’re making good progress,” he commented, as he returned the sponge to the holder on the wall and dried his hands on the neighbouring towel. “I wouldn’t want to be the clanker on the receiving end of those knives.”

His compliment made your cheeks flush with warmth, but the pain in your thighs soon soured your smile. You were conscious of the fact that you should have taken a break earlier, but you were so absorbed in your activity that you wanted to sustain your attention for a little while longer. 

“I did tell you to take regular breaks,” Hunter said, approaching at a casual stroll and scooping you up. Supported in his capable arms, he brought you to the worktop and shifted the hem of your loose summer dress, softly kneading your thighs with his thumbs. 

The steady pressure worked its magic, and you leaned on your palms to let out a whimpered sigh. His massaging touch climbed a little higher, no patch of skin untouched in his mission to provide you with some relief. 

“Feeling better?” he asked, tease lacing his tone. 

“Might need a bit more,” you replied, head tipping back and your eyes closing as you wiggled your hips forward for more. Like an avid scholar, he studied every inch of your body, gliding his fingers upward and barely touching the fabric of your underwear. 

Your eyes opened, and you lowered your chin to meet his covetous gaze. You recognised that look; since that initial lesson, it had sought you whenever you practised. Even though he had explicitly stated that he would not bring any weapons into the bedroom, given his experiences during the war, he did admire your dedication and attentiveness to the craft. 

“Is knife throwing something you find enjoyable?” he questioned, a little uncertain. “I appreciate you taking an interest, but you don’t have to keep it up if you don’t find it fun.” 

“I do enjoy it,” you assured him. “Almost as much as I enjoy the way you look at my backside when I’m doing it.” 

The tracker’s face lit up with a smirk as he increased the pressure on your core, moving your underwear aside to brush his thumb over your clit. As you leaned closer into his caresses, he showered your neck with gentle kisses and playful bites, waiting until you let out soft moans before sliding his finger inside you.

“Ah,” you sighed, rocking your hips against him as he added another finger, the pressure of his thumb persistent in stimulating your bundle of nerves. “Hunter…”

He hushed your groans, urging you forward to the edge of the worktop with his free hand. Whimpered growls traced along your throat. He wanted you. No, he needed you. 

With his face in your hands, you dragged him closer to connect your lips. He held himself back to satisfy you, but all you craved was for him to unleash his hunger and take you however he wished. 

Grinding up, you broke from him to unfasten his shirt buttons, mewling softly when he withdrew his fingers to remove his clothing. As he unzipped his pants, you slipped your underwear down to your ankles and discarded them with a kick. 

Hunter leaned in for another kiss, stroking his cock before gliding the tip along your sensitive folds. Unable to prolong the anticipation, he eased in. Inch by blissful inch, he filled you, pushing in and giving you time to adjust until he buried himself to the hilt. 

Despite the persistent soreness in your thighs, you paid it no mind. Hunter felt incredible inside you, thrusting in and out at a precise speed, and picking up the pace with every reaction you gave him. Every deliberate drag of his length as he drew out to the tip to slide back in brought you closer to the brink of your precipice. 

He sucked on his finger and lowered the digit to circle your clit. “Perfect,” he whispered, tone low and captivated by your pleasured whimpers. Your brow furrowed and your lips parted enticingly, tempting him to devour every drop you offered. “So fucking perfect for me.” 

The praise went straight between your legs, and gripping his shoulders until your nails pressed crescents into his skin, your climax rose a notch. The impact of his hips meeting your inner thigh merged with your desperate moans.

“That’s it,” Hunter cooed. “You getting close?” 

You nodded and swallowed, mouth dry. “So close… so close…”

Hunter tuned in to your desires, synchronising the circles on your clit with his movements. Unable to hold back any longer, you cried out as a blinding white shot through you, your walls tightening around him and propelling him over the edge with you. His release spilled hot and thick, and after a few moments, he stuttered to a stop.

Breaths came quick and fast as you both clambered down from your glow. The kitchen appliances hummed in the quiet. 

Hunter kissed your neck before drawing back, his forehead glistening with sweat and his teeth catching his lip as he pulled out. He snatched some paper towels to tidy up the mess and assisted you in getting off the counter. Legs unsteady, you tottered to the doorway. 

“Go get yourself into the shower,” he said sweetly as you picked up your tossed underwear. “I’ll clean this up.” 

“We can sort it later,” you replied, tugging him towards you by the open waistband of his trousers. “I want to shower with you.” 

He disregarded the cleaning without a second thought, flinging the crumpled kitchen roll at the bin and gripping your waist to grind his hips against yours. “Temptress,” he whispered against your lips. “Go on. Upstairs. Now.”

If you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, feel free to send me a message (18+ only).

@cw80831 @stardusthuntress @spicy-clones

[subbing-for-clones]

The Defective Jedi

Chapter 1

Word count: 2.2k

Trigger Warnings: None really, just some fighting

Every day you tried to forget and yet almost every night you remembered. Wandering through the crystal caves of Ilum was horribly cold and felt so lonely. You were never particularly strong with the force but you always felt it. That connection between all things living and the energy it permeated, but when you entered the cave you felt, nothing. Why did you feel nothing?

You heard the other younglings yipping in happiness and laughing in triumph as one by one they found their kyber crystals and still, nothing called for you. Time was running out before the entrance became a wall of ice with no escape and even as a child you accepted defeat before you accepted death. You were the last to leave and the only one who was left empty handed. You would remember the disappointed look of Master Yoda forever, his eyes turned to the snow beneath his feet with a pained look before he looked back up at you.

It wasn’t long after that you were sent back home to Lothal. You had taken your parents pride and sullied it with failure and you don’t think they ever forgave you for it. It was true, you had failed before you even really got started. Your connection to the force just wasn’t strong enough to be a Jedi.

Still, you refused to let the connection go. You spent your formative years practicing the techniques you were able to learn in your short time studying under the jedi. Hours meditating every rotation searching for that warmth. You did find it; you could still feel it and so you taught yourself as much as you could.

Once you were able to venture out on your own you left Lothal and your parents’ resentment behind. Never really setting up a home; you joined a bounty hunter’s guild instead and used your abilities to become a fairly prolific hunter. It was during these years that all hell broke lose as war erupted all over the galaxy.

Only one year in and it wasn’t looking good. Hundreds of Jedi had fallen to the separatist forces and they needed help. This was when a desperate plea rang across the galaxy for the aid of anyone with force sensitive capabilities to come and join the fight for the republic. Whether it was out of the desire to help or need to prove yourself to the ones who threw you out you weren’t sure; still you answered their call.

You were tested and trained in a group of others with similar stories to your own under several rotating Jedi. At the end of your training, you were assigned to be exactly what you already were; a fighter. You were assigned to various squads as aid and back up; using your intuition, strategy skills and your fighting expertise on the battle field with the clones. You’d never hold a rank above a grunt but you didn’t care. Every victory was a curse on the Jedi for giving you up.

After months of rotating between battalions you were about to receive your permanent assignment. Clone Force 99, a rag tag team of four, apparently defective, clones. The irony didn’t escape you.

“Why are we getting a Jedi?” Hunter asked the hologram of Cody. The others standing back but still in view of the commander.

“She’s not a Jedi, she’s one of the force sensitives the Jedi asked to join the cause. She doesn’t hold rank over you, you’re still in charge.”

“I don’t like it.” Sneered Crosshair.

“Well, you don’t have much of a choice. The higher ups want these people sprinkled out through all the squads in case of a Sith attack. The Jedi worry about them rising up with the appearance of a few and quite frankly, no clone stands a chance agianst them. They can wipe out battalions.”

“When is she joining and for how long?” The Sergent was growing impatient and didn’t like the idea of a new member being added to their group.

“She’s waiting on Kamino for you now so you’ll meet her upon arrival, she’ll be with you until the war is over or until she runs as fast as she can away from you.” The commander had a small smirk on his face that Hunter mirrored. The idea of sending a Jedi, or whatever, running amused him.

            Once they touched down on Kamino three out of the four were sightly on edge with the exception or Wrecker who seemed rather excited. He was generally the most welcoming. The worry melted away as soon as they laid eyes on you. You really didn’t look like a Jedi at all. You looked like an operative. Instead of a robe you wore black armor and in the place of a lightsaber at your hip, you had a blaster and a large curved vibro-blade.

Crosshair couldn’t help but eye you up and down the armor looked good on you. You took each of them in once you took your helmet off and introduced yourself to your new companions, a dance you’ve done before. Wrecker was kind enough to grab the two crates of your belongings and load them onto the ship. There wasn’t much time for pleasantries before you received your first mission. You were to extract data from an outpost on Teth and upload it straight to Cody. Information about prisoners of war and where they were being held was your main objective. Anything else was an added bonus. You all loaded onto the ship after eating a hearty meal in the cafeteria.

In the back of the ship next to the bunks you unpacked a few things from your crates.

“Whatchya got there?” Wrecker asked excitedly.

“Ill eat a loth cat before I sleep in GAR issued blankets.” He laughed heartily at your response and left you to continue. You didn’t have any photos to hang or many personal items at all for that matter but that’s how you’ve lived for the last few years anyway.

            Once you were finished you made your way to the common area where the clones were discussing strategy. Quietly you took the empty seat between Tech and Crosshair. The outpost was situated in the middle of the jungle. Intel reported minimal guards as it wasn’t a main base but still enough that you all decided stealth was your best option.

            Once the plan had been formulated they all looked at you expectedly.

“What is it?” you asked.

“So why didn’t you become a Jedi?” Tech asked outright, Hunter elbowed him but didn’t faze the goggled soldier.

“I tried but, well they decided I wasn’t strong enough. I’m closer to the force than most people but not close enough to be a Jedi.”

“You’re defective like us!” Wrecker shouted with glee, earning an elbow from Hunter as well. You actually laughed a bit.

“Yeah, you could say that. I’ve used my abilities as a bounty hunter since I left Lothal until I joined the GAR.”

            Crosshair watched you out of the corner of his eye. You really weren’t what they thought you would be at all. You weren’t a religious zealot you were just someone trying to find their way in the galaxy like the rest of them. He admired that, the honesty too. You weren’t trying to be something you’re not.

            That night in hyperspace you tossed and turned in your new bunk. Nightmares from close calls on a hunt filled your mind. You were often reminded of the times you came close to getting killed before a mission. Eventually you gave up and made your way toward the cockpit. You enjoyed meditating under the blue streaking lights. You were surprised to see that someone had beat you to it. The lithe handsome sniper sat in the pilot’s chair cleaning his fire puncher and mouthing a tooth pick.

            He looked up at you slightly taken aback by your appearance. Quickly he composed himself and half waved his arm at the other seat as a silent invitation.

“Sorry for intruding, I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You’re not.”

You were starting to like the way words seemed to slither off his tongue. You nodded a thanks to him and turned to watch the stars soaring by at light speed. Both you sat in silence for a few minutes before he opened and shut his mouth, wanting to ask you something but Cross wasn’t sure if it was out of turn.

He mentally shrugged and asked, “So why did you join the GAR?”

“Is one part brave three parts fool a believable answer?”

“I doubt you’re a fool.”

“Well, we’ll see if you keep that opinion,” you chuckled and earned an upturn of the corner of his mouth.

“Honestly? I found it ironic that the Jedi needed our help now. I don’t hold too much resentment agianst them but I do want to prove myself as valuable. Besides, things make sense out here.”

“How so?” He turned in his chair to face you and put his rifle down for a moment. You glanced at him and shrugged your shoulders.

“There’s no confusion right now. We fight agianst Separatists and clankers. I’m sure there are good people on those planets but this is the side I chose to fight for so that’s what I’m going to do.”

Crosshair digested your words and offered “We didn’t get a choice.”

“If you did, what would you be doing?”

“That’s a difficult question to answer, I’ve never let myself be hypothetical like that before because there isn’t a choice. I.. We’re property of the GAR just like my rifle and this ship. Don’t tell Tech that though, it’s his ship in his mind.”

You giggled a bit at that and nodded your head in understanding.

“I spent so much time hunting and fighting bounties that this just seemed like a natural course of action. I can’t see myself doing anything else instead now.”

Crosshair picked up his fire puncher again and resumed cleaning it. You watched him for a while before turning back to the lights and closing your eyes. You reached out through the force trying to feel the Purgill you swore you heard. What you didn’t sense was Crosshair watching you intently.

            You were going over the mission plan one last time while Tech was putting down the ship a few clicks away from the objective point. The jungle terrain was difficult to get through but not too much of a problem. The closer you got the more the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. Cross left your group close to the outpost to climb one of the giant trees for a better vantage point.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” you whispered to the Sergent.

He nodded in response, seemingly sensing something as well. The post was supposed to be guarded by droids with a few officers scattered throughout but something was off. No perimeter defense and no guards posted outside. Your group made their way around to a side door shown on the schematics and while Tech was overriding security, you Hunter and Wrecker kept watch. You could Feel Crosshair’s eyes on you and it gave you an overwhelming sense of security knowing he was watching over you.

            Three droids were posted on the inside of the door and as soon as you were in Wrecker crushed one agianst the wall, Hunter stabbed one in the chest and you took the last one’s head off with your long viroblade. Quickly you dashed in and made your way through the base looking for a data port. Tech found one on a lower level and plugged in, searching the database until he found what he needed.  

“It seems there are around fifty clones being held captive for questioning on a moon in the outer rim. There are also schematics for the spider droids here…” Tech prattled on interesting things he was downloading until Hunter shushed him and signaled for him to hurry up. That’s when the alarm sounded.

“We gotta go, now.” You stated with certainty. Trusting your instinct the boys packed up and started running back up to the way out. Once the door was insight, a wall of droids emerged and started firing at you. You fell back around a corner and started shooting them with your blaster looking for a weak point in the wall.

“Wrecker throw a smoke grenade,” Hunter barked.

“On it!” Wrecker tossed two creating a large fog that allowed you to step out, you reached out your hand and with a little struggle, used the force to loosen a wall panel until it flew into the side of the droid squad, pinning them to the opposite wall.

“HA HA NICE!” Wrecker shouted.

The four of you ran like hell out of the outpost to find several fallen droids, courtesy of the reliable sniper.

Once the five of you were back on the ship and Tech was taking off Wrecker was excitedly telling Crosshair how you threw a wall at a bunch of droids, taking out ten in one go. There seemed to be an impressed glint in his eye.

“That was good work back there,” Hunter told you sincerely. You smiled and thanked him, watching as the data was sent through encryption straight to Cody to do with as he saw fit.

Your first mission with the squad, a success you exchanged a smile with the sniper and sat in your victory.

[nenelonomh]

the importance of mindfulness

mindfulness is a practice that involves being fully in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings and sensations without judgment. it has gained recognition for its positive impact on both mental and physical well-being.

here are some reasons why practising mindfulness is important:

mindfulness helps manage stress by allowing us to respond to our environment differently. our minds are not well-suited for the modern world, but mindfulness techniques let us navigate challenges more effectively.

studies show that mindfulness-based therapies can reduce anxiety and depression. by focusing on the present moment, individuals can better cope with life’s difficulties and protect their mental well-being. since mindfulness teaches us to be fully in the present, mental noise (which is often a large contributor to anxiety and depression) can be reduced. additionally, mindfulness practices, such as meditation, activate the parasympathetic nervous system. this leads to a sense of calm and relaxation, reducing reactivity to stressors.

mindfulness isn’t just about mental health; it also positively impacts our physical health. evidence suggests that it can lower blood pressure, improve sleep quality, and enhance overall well-being. by managing stress and promoting relaxation, mindfulness contributes to cardiovascular well-being. it can also lead to better sleep quality. when we're mindful, we let go of racing thoughts and create a calm mental space conducive to restful sleep. while more research is needed, preliminary evidence suggests that mindfulness might enhance immune function. it may help people recover more quickly from illnesses like colds or flu. for further reading about this, see this article from the american psychological association.

practising mindfulness often leads to increased relaxation, enthusiasm for life, and improved self-esteem. it helps us to see the world differently and live a more compassionate, fulfilled life.

mindfulness techniques can help people cope with physical pain. by being fully present and accepting the sensations, individuals may experience relief and improved pain management.

but nene, how can i be mindful?

first, dedicate a specific time each day for mindfulness practice. something i have made a routine of is stretching when i first wake up ~ allowing myself time to wake up slowly and move my body. your dedicated time could be as short as five minutes, or longer, depending on your practice.

find a quiet and comfortable spot where you won't be disturbed. sit or lie down in a relaxed position.

close your eyes and pay attention to your breath. feel the air entering and leaving your nostrils or the rise and fall of your chest. if your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.

some specific mindfulness practices include:

three-step breathing kettering general health - youtube video

five senses check-in the partnership in education - youtube video with love, esta - youtube video

body scan policy research associates - youtube video mariellen brown - youtube video

further reading: positivepsychology.com NIH news in health psychcentral american psychological association

remember - mindfulness is a skill that improves with practice. regular mindfulness, whether through formal meditation or everyday activities, can have great positive effects.

i hope you enjoyed today's post! ❤️ nene

image source: pinterest

[eds6ngel]

hi, b!

i love your account and i saw that you’re okay with writing smut.

i was thinking it’s eddie and reader’s first time and he’s really soft with her? maybe he’s worried about her losing feelings or of him messing everything up by his inexperience?

thank you! <3

hey darling!! i actually made them both virgins in this, just to amp up the sweetness <33 (and because i have no experience at all) also, i made this a part 2 to my 'new girl' fic, so if you wanna check out part 1, you can read it here!!

warnings: SMUT. fem!afab!reader. p in v. fingering. handjob. blowjob. cunnilingus. lots of kissing. sex talk outside of the smut. basically just your basic sex stuff. swearing. vulgar language. fluff. comfort. established relationship. r is 18, eddie is 20 [4.1k].

You and Eddie have been dating for three months by this point. You had done the most that normal horny teenagers had done: kissing, making out, grinding, hell, you even tried your part at having sex. However, it didn’t go successfully the first time.

The both of you had no idea what to do. Eddie condoms expired, so you agreed to do it without one, which was mistake number one. You weren’t wet enough whatsoever, the both of you skipping all foreplay. And to top it all off, Eddie pushed in all the way without thinking, causing you to scream out in pain and call it quits for the night.

Since then, you both avoided ridding of any clothes closely tied to a sexual nature, the pair of you scared to death that your mutual lack of knowledge was going to cause harm again.

You and Eddie both agreed that the failed first attempt was not going to be classed as your ‘first time,’ despite what society would try and argue against. You both wanted it to feel special, the relationship going strong so far, a failed ‘first time’ not ruining that for you.

You actually went out to the library both together and on separate occasions to research about sex. Eddie’s first recommendation was to sit down and watch porn together, you having to explain that in no shape or form would a woman in real life ever want to live out the fake fantasy of a porn film. Besides, it was also a very fucking weird thing to do.

Hawkins was a very religious town, you searching high and low for anything that didn’t bring up the topic of abstinence. And even when looking past that, the woman’s pleasure was always disregarded, the term ‘submit’ popping up more times than you and Eddie would like to recall. With you just turning 18 and Eddie 20, Hawkins Library gave you permission to access the restricted section, much to a very pleased Eddie. You had to keep him on track most of the time, Eddie getting distracted by the mature content.

“Baby, come on. We’re looking for books on sex, not Satanism.”

With even the restricted books being more sanitised than you would’ve liked, at least some of the authors knew what they were talking about, especially the female ones, to no surprise. You learnt about safety, to foreplay, to pleasure points, to techniques, your joint knowledge growing by the minute.

It had been around a month of research for the two of you, preparing for whenever the appropriate time would be to try again.

Which was tonight.

You and Eddie were sat on his couch watching a cheesy horror flick, Wayne working a night shift, leaving the two of you in the trailer alone, with no interruptions.

You were lying on Eddie’s lap, his ringed hand mindlessly threading through your hair as you focused on the killer slashing the victims on screen, fake blood pouring out of them as they perished to the ground.

“Babe?” you pipe up, Eddie humming in response, “How’s research been going?”

Eddie chuckles as you both look at each other, “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

“We’re studying sources to learn new facts, sounds like research to me,” you smile.

Eddie kisses the crown of your head, “Just doesn’t sound very manly, does it? ‘What have you been up to recently Eddie?’” he says, putting on an overexaggerated posh accent, “’Oh nothing much, just researching how to have sex with my girlfriend.’ People would think I’m insane, sweetheart.”

You shift yourself so you are lying on your stomach, wrapping your arms around Eddie’s neck and shrugging, “You can make anything sound manly babe. You could word in a way such as ‘I’ve been reading up on ways to pleasure my girl better.’ That’s such a hotter way to put it.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “Yeah,” he drags out, “But, I’m not looking into how to make the sex better, I’m looking into how to even start having it.”

“Better than most people,” you reply, “Many of my friends have told me that they don’t even get to cum when they have sex with their boyfriends. At least you’re trying.”

“Isn’t that the whole point of sex?” Eddie asks, as if a stupid question, “To make your girl feel good?”

“Unfortunately baby, most men just have sex for themselves. They just want the feeling of a vagina wrapped around their dick.”

Even though the two of you had a horrific first attempt, you were both still very sex positive. Just because you didn’t have it didn’t mean you were in any way uncomfortable talking about it.

“Stupid,” Eddie mumbles with a shake of his head, “They could just jerk themselves off for the same effect, stop wasting a girl’s time.”

“Is that what you do?” you tease him, “Just in between the research, you have a ten minute jerking break?”

“I get hot and bothered sometimes, okay?” he laughs, “There’s some very graphic images in there. S’hard to concentrate.”

And from your position sitting in his lap, it might not just be the research that gets him that way. “You sure you’re not feeling the same way now, baby?” you purr, looking deep into his eyes.

He groans slightly as you grind your hips into his, “Jesus sweetheart, if I wasn’t already before, I definitely am now.”

Your lips connected together in a passionate kiss, the pair of you grinding into each other as your tongues explored each other’s mouths. This was something you’d done before. As your relationship developed, you realised how easy it was to dissect society’s words surrounding sex. If it were society defining your relationship by its standards, you two would’ve technically lost your virginities to each other in the first month of the relationship. Grinding was a simple task to get the two of you going, even making each other cum by it. It was just further than that where you guys had an issue, which is why both still class yourselves as virgins.

As you break apart, you lift Eddie’s shirt off, him doing the same to you, looking into your eyes, asking, “Are we really about to do this?”

“I’m game if you’re game,” you reply.

He smirks, “Baby, I’m always game.”

You giggle as you begin to litter kisses down his neck, him moaning out as you find his sweet spot, his hands gripping tighter at your waist. You make a trail down his chest to his stomach, him gripping your hair as you do so, his head falling back against the couch. There was just something about your lips that were so intoxicating to him.

You reach the waistband of his pants, Eddie switching into his grey sweatpants the minute he stepped into his trailer. He was a metalhead at heart, but keeping up the physical appearance wasn’t always the comfiest.

He lifts himself up, allowing you to pull down the sweatpants, his white and blue checkered boxers on show, a visible bump from where he had gotten hard from the mere mention of you talking about sex. He hates to admit it, but this happened every time, you had just failed to notice.

You look up at him with the softest look in eyes, making sure that he was comfortable with you going further. As every book said: consent was key.

“Yeah, sweetheart, take ‘em off,” he verbalises, you nodding as you pull down his boxers, his cock springing free in front of you. You look up at him with a glint of worry, Eddie immediately taking notice. “It’s all about practice, okay? It’s you, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it regardless.”

You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, Eddie already groaning above you by the mere feeling of your touch on his body. “I, um—” you stutter out, “Do I just go up and down?”

“Yeah, babe, just—” he wraps his hand around yours, the size difference sending shivers down his spine as he moves your hand in the same motion he would when he’s on his own. Yet, the slight change of you doing it in comparison to him made it all the more enjoyable. It was true what they said: it was the person, not the action.

He shudders as you begin to create a steady rhythm, you asking, “Is this good?”

He sighs, “Nothing could be better than this baby, thank you. God, fuck,” he moans out. However, what shocked him was how quick you became accustomed to him, the feeling of your tongue licking up the side of his shaft sending shivers down his spine. “Jesus fucking Christ, God.”

In your head, you were trying to recall the steps that the book you read taught you, trying your best not to mess up and cause your boyfriend to become uncomfortable. You lick the tip of his dick, seeing that Eddie loudly moans out at the feeling, hearing him say, “Just like that baby, take it down further.”

And so you do, hollowing out your cheeks as you take him into your mouth, Eddie grabbing your hair into a ball as he lightly guides you up and down, giving him maximum pleasure. You look up at him with innocent eyes, continuing to bob your head, Eddie swearing he just died and went to heaven.

He can feel his balls tightening up, Eddie yelling out, “Baby, wait, wait!” in a manner that came across a little too panicked, causing you to immediately jump off of him.

“I’m sorry!” you squeak out, beginning to ramble, “Did I get you with my teeth? Or was I too rough? God, I was probably too rough, wasn’t I—”

But, your nervous state gets cut off by Eddie grabbing your chin and pulling you into a soft kiss, you instantly cupping his cheek back. As you part, he leans your forehead against his, “It was nothing you did sweetheart, don’t worry. I just… don’t wanna cum yet,” he shyly smiles.

“Oh,” you giggle softly, “Okay.”

He kisses your cheek, making trail down your neck, “But, I do think it’s your turn to cum for me, sweetheart.”

You whimper at his words, the eagerness oozing from his throat. “Can we, um… go to your bedroom though? This is technically Wayne’s bed after all.”

Eddie chuckles, “Yeah, I don’t think he’d be too happy with that.” He shocks you by lifting you up underneath his arms, laughing to himself as he guides you to his bedroom.

As he kicks open the door with his foot, he carries you over to the bed, placing you down gently and hovering over you, placing a tender kiss to your lips. “You’ve given me all your love sweetheart, I’m here to give you mine.”

He litters kisses all over your chest and collarbones, sucking a little to visibly show that you belong to him. Nobody else was gonna get his girl.

Despite your eyes being closed, basking in the pleasure of his soft lips on your skin, you feel him reach around the back of you, trying his hardest to unclasp your bra.

Helping him out, you sit up, wrapping your arms around his neck, smiling at him, “You need help with that, my love?”

“No, no, I got it,” he grits out, trying to get the hooks to come apart. “Why the hell is this so difficult?”

You giggle into his neck, deciding to press little kisses there as a form of distraction.

“Baby, don’t tease me. I’m struggling enough here.”

You laugh as you reach around yourself, pushing his hands out of the way and instantly un-hooking your bra, tossing it onto the floor.

Eddie can’t be drawn away from your breasts, his eyes practically bulging at the sight, his mouth agape. “I… um…” he stutters out, “I was gonna ask how you did that, but your tits baby… Holy shit.”

And no word of a lie, your boyfriend does grabby hands, like a child in a candy store, “Please can I touch them? Please let me touch them… Oh my God.”

You cup his face with your hands, smiling, “You can do whatever you want with them, my love.”

He breathes out, shakes his hands as he mutters, “Okay.” He pushes your breasts together, massaging them in his hands as he genuinely gawks, “Jesus… They’re perfect. You’re perfect. Fuck…”

You press a kiss to the underside of his jaw as a ‘Thank you,’ Eddie rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, a loud whine escaping your mouth.

He stops his motions, “That feel good?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, “It’s sensitive. Keep doing that.”

And he does exactly that, flicking over them, surprised that such a simple action could cause so much pleasure for you. “You need to go braless more baby, holy shit.”

“If I knew you would’ve had this reaction, I would’ve shown you them sooner,” you giggle.

“Better than any porn magazine I’ve ever seen,” he mumbles, leaning in and taking your left breast into his mouth, him pulling on your nipple, letting go with a pop. “Who needs porn when I can have you?”

“I better see the ones under your bed gone by tomorrow then,” you smirk back at him.

“Easiest decision I’ll ever make.”

He traces his thumbs over the sides of your hips as he makes a trail down from your cleavage to the bottom of your stomach, tugging at your belt, a much easier task for him than your difficult bra.

He pulls down your jeans, adding them to the increasing pile on the floor. The next thing surprises you, Eddie beginning to laugh as he places his head down on top of your cloth-covered pussy, his hair tickling the bottom of your stomach. “Shit.”

You laugh too, despite not knowing what he was giggling about, he was just infectious like that. “What, my love?” you ask with a smile.

“Took off your bra before I got to see the matching set on you,” he frowns over-dramatically.

You thread your fingers through his curls, “I’ll give you a fashion show one day.”

“That day better fuckin’ hurry the hell up,” he grumbles, delicately taking your panties off of your body, him not wanting to wreck them for the future fashion show you had just planned.

“Okay, he mumbles, situating his head between your legs, “I’ve heard that eating you out gets you wetter, so can I do that?”

You sigh happily, “Tell you what baby, we’ll do the colour coding system, okay? I’m giving you permission to do whatever you like. If I find myself uncomfortable at any point, I’ll say either ‘orange’ or ‘red.’ Deal?”

He nods, “Yeah, deal…” sighing out, “I’m sorry if I mess this up.”

You smile lovingly, “It’s you baby. You could be totally shit at this and I would love it regardless. Just like you said to me,” you reassure him.

“Well, I learnt some techniques anyway, now I get to put them to practice.”

You laugh as you hear him sigh out, “Relax baby, you got this.”

He nods, “Yeah… I got this.”

He takes his tongue and moves it straight up your pussy, causing you to push your legs in and let out a loud whine. “That easy, huh?” Eddie smirks.

You give him the same wide smirk back, “Depends on whether you can make me cum or not.”

“Challenge accepted,” he replies, moving up towards your clit and flicking it up and down, causing you to moan out in pleasure, “Eddie, fuck. Just like that baby.”

That spur encouraged Eddie to speed up his movements, flipping between an up and down motion to a side to side one, you grabbing onto and tugging at his hair, him discovering a new kink as he moans out loudly.

Eddie takes his middle finger and moves it down your folds, collecting your slick and pushing it into your hole, you immediately clenching around him as he sucks on your clit.

“Jesus fucking Christ Eddie, keep doing that and you’ll make me cum,” you truthfully whine out.

“God, sweetheart, already?” he asks, speeding up the movement of his finger as he tries his best not to rut against the bed, relieving the uncomfortability of his dick straining in his boxers.

“I’m an easy girl to impress,” you sigh out, giggling at your own statement and how truthful it actually was.

Without a doubt in your mind, you begin to rut against his face, trying to get yourself to the edge as quickly as possible, which was evidently working.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum. Please let me cum,” you mewl out.

Eddie drills his finger in and out of your pussy, sucking on your clit and shaking his head back and forth, sending you into a spiral as you fall over the edge, whining out, “Eddie, I’m cumming, fuck!”

As you come down back to reality, Eddie looks up at you, gripping tightly onto your thighs, a smile on his face as your juices drip down from his mouth, falling off of his chin. “Fuck me baby, I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I’ve never cum that hard before,” you sigh out, still relieving in the height of your orgasm, “Guess it really is the person, not the action.” Exactly what he thought.

He licks up most of the juices on his face, crawling back up to you and connecting your lips in a soft kiss, you humming as you say, “I taste better on your lips.”

Eddie groans out at your words, “I’d love to be sweet with you and all angel, but I really need to be inside you right now.”

You nod, “Then do that,” you smile back, “I noticed you got a new packet of condoms the other week.”

He leans over to his beside table and rips open the packet, replying, “Yeah… Well, I felt like my research was coming to an end.”

He takes out the condom and rolls it onto his dick, pinching the end and looking down at you, “You want it just like this or—?”

“Extra lube? Just in case?” you ask nervously, Eddie nodding as he reaches over to grab the bottle and squirts some on top of the condom, rubbing it over the entirety of it, making sure it would be comfortable for the initial entrance.

This was the part you were most nervous about. This was where it all went wrong last time. But, you took the pre-cautions. You were already wet, Eddie had a condom on, and it was well lubricated. Eddie was a little over average in terms of length, which increased your worries. But, on the flip side, a little under on the girth, the part that would make the stretch worse if he was bigger.

Eddie lines himself up with your pussy, leaning his forehead against yours, whispering, “Please sweetheart, I beg of you, use that colour coding system. I’ve heard it hurts for most women, but it should soon fade away, okay?”

You breathe out, “Okay… I’m ready.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

And that was the conformation he needed, slowly pushing into you, letting you take in the feeling and get yourself comfortable. “You doing okay?” he asks.

And for you, it wasn’t even that bad. Maybe you were one of the lucky ones, you don’t know, but it was more of a mild discomfort from the stretch rather than a sharp pain that the research told you. But again, Eddie being under average in his girth may have helped, something you were thankful for compared to how most women would have judged that.

“It’s actually not that bad,” you smile, “Just keep going slow, okay? We haven’t even gotten halfway yet.”

“Okay,” he nods, pushing in another two inches, the discomfort becoming a little bit stronger as you predicted, but not unbearable. It actually caused you to moan a little, something Eddie had been doing the second his dick pushed half an inch into your vagina.

“Only a bit more, okay sweetheart?” he says softly, you nodding as he slowly pushes in the final three inches, the discomfort subsiding into pleasure as you whine out.

“Fuck…” Eddie moans, “You are so incredibly tight.”

You giggle, causing yourself to clench around him, a growl erupting from his throat. God, he was vocal, and you loved every second of it.

“You can start moving now, my love.”

This was now where Eddie basically took over, his inexperience making him nervous, especially with how much he hurt you the last time. He wanted this time to be special. This was gonna be the first time for both of you, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to ruin that. He needed this to be perfect with the girl he loved.

He tried his best to find a steady rhythm, but was struggling. It felt good, but he sighed out frustratedly, you noticing his change in demeanour, “Baby, look at me. Just go in and out, don’t worry about being fast or anything. Just set a pace,” you tell him, cupping his cheeks.

“Yeah. In and out,” he mumbles, slowly pushing in and out, the two of you moaning in sync as he repeats his motion, before he finds himself a rhythm that you both enjoy, noted by a series of whines an groans.

“That’s it, you got it baby,” you say, supported by a sigh.

“That feels so fuckin’ good,” he groans out, deciding that he could speed up now that he found a good rhythm.

“Oh fuck,” you whine, your head falling back against the pillows on Eddie’s bed.

You had always heard that wrapping your legs around your partner’s back would somehow push them even deeper, sending women spiralling down the route of an orgasm.

So, you tried it, reaching your legs around Eddie’s waist, pulling him in closer, hitting something at the back of your pussy that you could only describe as mind-blowing. “Harder, Eddie, please!”

And so he complied, pushing himself both deeper and harder into you, the boy falling apart on top of you. You could only imagine how good this felt for him.

But, once he changed angles, it was over for you. This is what the G-spot must’ve been. You could feel his dick sliding across the top of your vagina, hitting a spot that sent shivers down your spine.

The atmosphere was constant skin slapping against skin, a series of “Fucks” and “Shits” being moaned out by the two of you. You were praying to God none of the neighbours in the trailer park could hear any of this.

“Baby, I’m not gonna last much longer,” Eddie chokes out, his pace already faltering as you reply through broken moans, “Me neither baby, cum with me.”

He moves his hand down to rub your clit, making sure you reach your peak since his thrusts were no longer as hard as they were a mere few minutes ago.

That sensation combined with his dick brushing past your G-spot over and over again caused you to see stars, a loud whine erupting from your throat as you choke out, “Baby, I’m cumming!”

The feeling of your orgasm causing your walls to tighten around him pushes him over too, him stuttering before coming to a halt. You can feel his whole body shake against you, a loud groan mixed in with a whine being let out as his dick pulses in your pussy.

As you both come down from your highs, your pants are the only thing heard in the all but silent atmosphere. Eddie smiles, trying to not let himself fall on top of you as he lets out a “Whoa…”

“Yeah, whoa…” you giggle, Eddie slowly pulling out, taking the condom off and tying it up. “Shit, I don’t have a trash can in here…”

You laugh at him, “You don’t have one in here?”

He begins to walk out to the kitchen, yelling back so you can hear, “Why do you think I have all that shit lying around my room, sweetheart?”

As he appears back in the doorway, you’ve tucked yourself under the covers, replying with, “Good point.”

He shows his goofy smile, one where he shows off his teeth. Your favourite kind of smile on him. He tucks himself under the covers with you, the pile of clothes being left in the middle of his room. You could sort that out tomorrow.

Eddie presses a soft kiss to your forehead as you lay your head on his chest, “Get some sleep, sweetheart. You deserve it.”

You hum in response, closing your eyes, your mind fading away as the final words you mutter are: “I love you.”

And although you can’t see it, Eddie smiles widely, gripping you tighter as he leans his head on top of yours, whispering back, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

And that was the day he knew, you were definitely a keeper.

i hope you enjoyed this my love! and if anything is inaccurate, don't be afraid to let me know <33

[limitless-haven]

Those Ocean Eyes

Synopsis: When you’re called upon by Tokyo Jujutsu High for an opportunity to study under the renowned Shoko Ieiri, you gladly accept the offer, leaving behind your old school. Here you start your new adventure, excited to learn and see where this life will take you, but what you don’t account for is that here is also where you truly fall in love for the first time.

Satoru Gojo is a charismatic enigma that captures your heart right away. As time goes on, you come to truly understand the pain behind those ocean eyes of his. The scariest part? His truth doesn’t terrify you like he expected it to. If anything it makes you fall more intense for him. You want to help shoulder the burden of his pain for the man you’ve come to love.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Just some very light flirting

A/N: Hello! This is my first time posting here. I've been a silent reader/reactor but decided to give it a go! Please let me know what you think so far and if I should continue. All feedback is greatly appreciated.

***This is a slow burn. Eventually there will be some spicy scenes but I will give a warning before hand.

***This story does contain elements, scenes, and dialog from the manga/anime.

***This story was influenced by the song Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. Every time I hear the song, I cant help but think of Gojo and what a complex character he is. He is such a lovable character who deserves the world. Honestly, I could cry right now thinking about it.

***This is also posted to my AO3 account under the name “kookie0807”

Chapter 1: Pretty Girl

Just like your parents, you attend Kyoto Jujutsu High. Your dad was a cursed technique user and your mom is a teacher of cursed techniques. Your father was killed in battle by a curse a couple of years ago leaving behind a grieving wife and a devastated daughter.

From that moment on, you wanted nothing more than to pour yourself into learning about your own cursed technique. It just so happens that what you possess is the ability to use reverse curse techniques, a rare find among Jujutsu sorcerers. To your knowledge, there is only one other person who is capable of using the same technique as you, and her name is Shoko Ieiri. She just so happens to be an astounding doctor on top of that, which is why you look up to her so much. You’ve dreamed about being able to get to poke her brain about your shared ability. But as cruel as fate would have it, she’s the doctor for the only other jujutsu school, Tokyo Jujutsu High.

Hearing about everything Shoko can do, made you want to learn about your own ability that much more. She had mastered her technique seemingly overnight, hell maybe she was just born with it. But you? You haven’t been able to attain the ability on Shokos level. Rumor has it, she could regenerate a missing limb from a person and more. Yes, you could help with healing surface-level wounds and a broken bone or two but what you are absolutely itching to do is have the ability to bring someone back from death if needed.

This all started when your father died in battle. If you were just stronger, and more advanced in your technique, you could have possibly saved him. It eats you up that you couldn’t save your father, you were so close yet so far off from unlocking the true potential of your reverse cursed technique. When you saw your father cut in half, you poured every ounce of your cursed energy into trying to save his life but to no avail. You vividly remember sitting in the morgue as your father’s body lay on the cold, metal, embalming table. You remember the heartbreaking guttural cry coming from your mother’s lips as you exited the morgue, covered from head to toe in his blood. That is a sound that will forever haunt you. A sound no human should ever make. A sound so piercing to the human soul. You couldn’t look up at her, you could barely see the floor as you walked out due to the tears, your ears were ringing and you just felt cold. You collapsed on the floor but your mother was there to catch you. You cried and cried into your mother’s arms as she cried along with her baby girl.

Your mother went through a really bad depression for the next couple of years. There was nothing you could do but give her support, how do you help someone who’s lost the love of their life? It was a challenging time but you two managed to get through it together. Seeing your mom so heartbroken, so utterly miserable, it made something inside of you snap. You never wanted to experience this again with anyone.

---------------

You’re sitting in on a lecture your mother was giving some underclassmen about cursed techniques. While the information was vital to the up-and-coming new sorcerers, you’ve heard it before. If you’re being completely honest with yourself, the school doesn’t offer too much in terms of helping you unlock the true power of reverse cursed techniques. Unfortunately, this is one of the two places for the next generation of sorcerers to gather and train. Once you “graduate” a jujutsu school and become a full-fledged jujutsu sorcerer, you’re then put into the position of either becoming a teacher or accompanying other sorcerers on missions. Don’t get it wrong, you love being surrounded by people who somewhat understand the life you live. Not everyone is born with cursed energy so those far and wide who are tend to stick at the schools. Think of it as a college campus of sorts. Everyone has classes, a 'dorm room', there is a field to practice hand-to-hand combat on, a sparing room, and well you get the idea. From the outside looking in, as someone who knows nothing about curses or the use of cursed techniques, this looks like a regular school. Hell, you guys even have uniforms! Anything to blend in with society so the (as you like to call them) “normies” don’t suspect a thing.

As you're listening to your mother teach, you see your phone vibrating on the desk in front of you. An unknown number is calling. Wonder who that could be? You look up at your mom and point to your phone. She nods as if to say go ahead and step out to take the call. You get up quietly and head out the door. You walk a little away from the door so that you won’t disturb your mother’s class any more than you have. With a raised eyebrow you answer the phone.

“Um, hello?”

“Yes, is this (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” A deep voice says on the other line.

“Yes, this is she. Mind if I ask who’s calling?” You say, your curiosity is piqued.

“Yes, this is Masamichi Yaga. Principal of Tokyo Jujutsu High.” He says rather sternly.

“Principal Yaga? Nice to hear from you, sir! But why are you calling me?” You asked with a confused look on your face.

“I’m calling because I’ve been in talks with Yoshinobu Gakuganji. He has reluctantly agreed to an idea of mine that involves you.” He says.

“Oh, well in that case I’m all ears! How can I help?” You say. Whatever could he want with you? You wouldn’t even put yourself in the league of Kyoto's best sorcerers.

“I would like you to transfer to Tokyo as soon as possible. I hear you’re the only other person who can use reverse cured techniques.” He says. Of course, Principal Gakuganji would have been in talks with the other school about you. After all, there are only you and Shoko.

Your heart starts to beat into your throat. WHAT? He wants you to come there? But for what exactly? But before you can calm your nerves down to answer him, he continues.

“I’ve also had a conversation with Ms. Ieiri and we would like you to come study under her. She wants to help you in any way that she can. We’ve heard about you wanting to unlock your true reverse cursed techniques' power. This will be a very valuable asset to both of our schools.”

HOLY SHIT. You must be dreaming! You have wanted nothing more than to be able to meet Shoko in the flesh and ask her all your burning questions! You can’t believe the opportunity of a lifetime just fell into your lap!

“I-I would love nothing more sir!” You stammer out but Principal Yaga can tell just how excited you are over the phone.

“Great! I’ll inform Gakuganji and Shoko of your decision. I look forward to you joining the Tokyo branch.” He says back with some underlying excitement in his voice as well.

You hum a response and tell him goodbye. He told you to be there tomorrow sometime in the early afternoon so you can get set up in your new room and meet the group.

Your heart is pounding. There is a smile on your face so wide that your cheeks hurt. You clutch your phone close to your chest and breathe slowly. You’ve never been more eager for anything in your life! Finally, you get to study under the renowned Shoko Ieiri. This is what you’ve always wanted. This is what you have gone to bed every night since your father died praying for.

The loud roar of the underclassmen being released for their lecture startles you back to earth. As they pass by you, moving on to their next class, you walk towards the door of your mother's room. She’s standing there, flipping through some book. You walk in and stand in front of her desk. She looks up at you and smiles.

“Well, what was that phone call about baby?” She asks with genuine curiosity.

“It-it was Principal Yaga from the Tokyo school.” You say as your heart starts to beat fast again.

“Oh, whatever could he want?” She asks raising an eyebrow.

“He-he wants me to transfer to Tokyo so I c-can study with Ms. Ieiri.” You say excitedly. You can’t believe this is real.

“Oh? Congratulations baby!” Your mother says enthusiastically as she makes her way around the desk to hug you.

You lean into your mother’s hug. Her arms feel like one of the safest places to be. You can’t help but squeeze her tightly and she does the same back. When you let go of the hug and look up, you see your mother is crying. You raise your hand to wipe her tears. It makes you uneasy to see your mother cry.

“What’s the matter? I’ll call him back right now and tell him never-“ but you couldn't get the sentence out as your mother shushed you.

“No baby. These are happy tears. I’m so thrilled that you get the opportunity to learn from Ms. Ieiri.” She says with red eyes.

You smile at your mother. She has always been so supportive of everything you’ve ever wanted to do in your life. That woman is your rock, your reason to live.

“Thank you mom. Thank you for always being here for me.” You say as you lean back in for another hug. Her hugs make you feel like a little girl again. Nothing is quite as powerful as the love between a parent and their child.

She hugs you more before pulling you back and looking at you.

“When do you leave out?” She asks.

“Principal Yaga said he would like me to be there early tomorrow afternoon if possible.” You say as you wipe your own eyes from the few teardrops that fell onto your cheek.

“Well, then we better head back to your room and get you packed up! My baby is flying the nest!” She exclaims.

You laugh at your mother’s reaction. She has been there for you in your darkest of times and it makes your heart so happy that she is here for the brightest of your times. You two clean up the classroom and head out the door to your dorm room. You spend all night packing and talking with your mother about your future.

—-------------

The next afternoon arrives and you head out to Tokyo Jujutsu High. On the car ride there you wonder how the new school will be. Is it the same as Kyoto? Will you make new friends fast there? Is your dorm room going to be as comfortable as your last? What kind of food do they have? Will you be able to unlock your true reverse cursed techniques' power?

As you pull up, you see a tall man standing there with dark glasses on, short brown hair, and a goatee. He’s pretty muscular and looks very intimidating. Is this Principal Yaga? You think to yourself. Sure enough, when you get out of the car and walk up to him, he introduces himself as Principal Yaga.

“If you’ll follow me, we can get you set you. Don’t worry about the bags. Megumi and Yuji will get them for you.” He says as he starts walking to the entrance of the school.

Megumi? Yuji? They must be students here at Tokyo you think and follow along right behind Yaga but not before saying goodbye to your mother You hug her one last time and smile at her. You inform her that you will indeed call later tonight to tell her all about your first day!

He shows you around the school, especially the medical lab where you will be working with Shoko. He informs you that you will be in a group with the first years, even though you are about 10 years older than them. He wants to gauge your talents, not just cured techniques but also hand-to-hand combat. He hands you your student ID. It reads “(Y/N) (Y/L/N): GRADE 3.” You’re not surprised in the slightest. Grade 3 sources are of average jujutsu ranking. Most jujutsu students get assigned this rank upon enrollment to Jujutsu High. Grade 3 sorcerers are not allowed to go on solo missions and are almost always accompanied by someone of a higher grade. Without the full completion of the reverse cursed technique and very basic, bare minimum hand-to-hand combat skills, this is all you possess. At Kyoto, you worked in the medical field healing other sorcerers and hardly ever going on missions that would put you in danger. Principal Gakuganji always told you that your talent was too precious to risk in actual curse batters thus resulting in your grade ranking remaining at 3 since you graduated the program. Honestly not that you were complaining though. You’ve been there to heal some of the students and sorcerers when they’ve come back from missions. You can’t count how many times you’ve healed enormous cuts and broken bones. That did not look pleasing to you in the slightest. When you finish your tour, Principal Yaga leads you to your dorm room.

“Here is where you’ll be staying. Shoko and Gojo's rooms are just down the hall if got need them for anything.” He says.

Suddenly you hear a loud commotion from down the hall. You look up to see two boys, who can’t be older than 16 carrying your bags and bickering.

“Hurry up you dumbass, Principal Yaga, and the new kid are probably already there!”

“Yeah, yeah. Calm down don’t get your panties in a twist, my man.”

A tall-ish boy with black spiked hair, pale skin, long eyelashes, and dark blue eyes rounds the corner first. He’s wearing a standard Jujutsu High uniform with a dark blue jacket, matching pants, and low-top brown shoes.

“Shut the hell up Itadori. I’m not going to get bitched at all because you wanted to stop at the vending machines on the way here.”

A second boy comes around the corner. He’s tall-ish too, tanner than the other boy, with bright pink hair, light brown eyes, and these weird markings under his eyes. He’s got on the same uniform style as the other boy but his is highlighted with a red collar and the same red shoes to match.

“Fushiguro you know I can’t pass up on a banana milk, man!”

Both of them stop in their tracks as they see you and Principal Yaga standing in front of your door. Principal Yaga just huffs at the boys.

“You two stop the bickering and get (Y/N)’s belongings in here now!” He says as he raises his voice.

The boys bolt for your room at the speed of light. You follow them inside and tell them they can just put the bags down on your bed and you’ll deal with unloading them later.

“(Y/N), this is Megumi Fushiguro and Yuji Itadori. They are two of the three first years you’ll be training with. Nobara Kugisaki is the other first year.” He says as he leans against the doorframe.

The black-haired one introduces himself as Megumi and the pink-haired one greets you and tells you he’s Yuji. You shake both of their hands and thank them for all the help, you have a lot of stuff so you know the trip wasn’t light

He then sighs. “Unfortunately you’ll be under the watch of Satoru Gojo along with Shoko. He’s going to be teaching you more martial arts and how to control your cursed energy better.” He exhales heavily and looks at the two boys in front of him. “Have either of you seen the idiot?”

. “Don’t know where Gojo is but knowing his lanky ass, he’s probably running late,” Megumi says as he rubs the back of his head. “God sometimes I want to punch that guy in the face.” He says in a low breath.

Itadori laughs and puts his hand on Megumi's shoulder. “Oh come on, we should be more grateful to have Gojo-sensi being the one teaching us. After all, he is the strongest.”

“You two help (Y/N) get accustomed to things around here. I’m going to find Gojos ass!” He said with some bass behind his voice. Remind you never to get on his bad side? Check! Principal Yaga gets off the doorframe of your room and takes off down the hall.

You’ve heard about this Gojo guy through the students at Koyto. Apparently, he is the heir to the Gojo clan and is the first person to inherit the six eyes and limitless technique in over four hundred years. That’s pretty impressive if you do say so! You wonder what kind of teacher he could be if he was considered the strongest already. His students must be some of the best among the Tokyo group.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to Itadori. Sure Gojo's strong but he’s a pain in the ass to deal with,” Megumi says as he slaps Yuji's hand off his shoulder.

Yuji just rubs his hand, giving Megumi a side-eye. “Anyway, come on (Y/N). We’ll introduce you to Shoko!” He says rather cheerfully.

Those two are completely opposite yet you can tell how much they care for each other. You wonder if you’ll fit into their group well. Also, where the heck is the other first year at? And more importantly, where is your 'teacher' at?

You leave the room with the boys and head down the hall to Shoko's room. Megumi knocks on her door and waits patiently to see if she’s in there. The door opens and out walks the woman you’ve been dying to meet. She has long brown hair that passes her shoulders, her eyes are a soft brown with dark circles underneath them and she has a mole under her right eyes. She’s wearing pretty normal-looking clothes except she spots a white lab coat over them and cream-colored heels. She looks at the boys and then at you. You think your heart just might stop.

“Hey, boys. And hello (Y/N) I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” She gives you a soft smile.

You immediately bow your head. “Yes, ma’am I’ve been looking forward to this day as well! It’s so nice to finally meet you Ms. Ieiri!” You say enthusiastically.

She gives off a little laugh before putting her hand on your shoulder and raising you so you're looking at her face. “Please hon, just call me Shoko. We’re close enough to the same age.”

You look into her eyes and smile widely. “Yes Ms. Iei- I mean Shoko! It’s been a dream of mine to be able to even talk to you.”

She lets out another soft laugh. “Well, I hope I can live you to your expectations (Y/N). I’ve known about you for a little while now and I can’t wait to see what we can do to help you unlock that technique of yours!”

You can’t help but keep smiling at her. “Oh yes! I’ve been dying to figure it out. I’m so thankful to you and Principal Yaga for giving me this opportunity! I promise I won’t let you down!” And you say that with all honesty in your heart. You want to show these people that they didn’t waste their time bringing you here.

“I have no doubt you will accomplish great things here under our guidance.” She smiles at you and then looks at Megumi and Yuji. “…has she met Gojo yet?” She laughs.

You hear Megumi tsk. “No. Poor girl doesn’t know what she’s in for. Yaga went to find him. Of course, his dumbass is running late.”

Shoko laughs at Megumi's distain for Gojo’s tardiness. “Yeah, that goof is always late for everything.”

You hear Yuji laugh at Shoko's comment. Was this Gojo guy really that late to everything?

Before you could ask them anything else you heard someone coming down the hallway. You can tell it’s a man from the voice. It’s loud, really loud actually. Almost boarding on annoying….

“Yea, yea sorry Yags. I told ya, traffic was bad. Not m’fault I got stuck.”

And then he rounds the corner. He’s very, and you mean very tall, lean, muscular, and looks to be in his late twenties. His hair is snow-white and spiked up due to a black blindfold covering his eyes. He’s wearing a Jujutsu uniform which is a dark blue zip-up jacket with a high collar that’s significantly wide, fitted matching pants, and black boots.

He steals your breath with just how attractive-looking this man is. God, even his voice was alluring. He spots you all standing down by Shoko's room, his room is just down a bit farther, and waves. He starts to walk over. You don’t think he notices you at first because you're blocked a little by the others.

“Well well if it isn’t m’precious first years and the doctor. Heard we got some new meat today. Where’s he at?” He asks as he finally gets over to the group.

Megumi tsks again. “You idiot. The new first year is a girl and she’s literally right here.” He says as he steps out of the way.

There is enough space created between you all that the white-haired man now has plenty of room to check you out. You look up at him, you mean really have to look up. He just stands there for a second, what you assume to be staring at you because you can’t see his eyes. And then he grins. A big shit-eating grin. He bends down so he’s at eye level with you now. You can feel your heart in your throat. God, this guy seems to not know the meaning of personal space. But damn, is he one attractive-looking man.

“My, my, you’re a pretty little one.” He says smirking at you.

You can feel your cheeks start to heat up under his gaze. It doesn’t make you uncomfortable by any means, more squeamish because this unfamiliar yet charming man has called you pretty. Does he really think you’re pretty?

He can’t help but give a small chuckle. His breath ghosted over your face. He smells like sweet candy and honestly, you wouldn’t mind a taste. “Gotta name, pretty girl?” He asks as he tilts his head to the side giving you a sultry smirk.

Your cheeks heat up again and you feel your palms starting to sweat. You probably look like a lovestruck schoolgirl right now but honestly, it’s not far off from the truth. Before you can answer, Shoko interrupts his blatant flirting.

“That’s enough Satoru. Jeez, don’t scare her away just yet.” She says with a roll of her eyes. “She's from the Koyto school, the transfer student…wait did Yaga not tell you anything?”

Wait…so this man..is the Satoru Gojo? The same guy who’s going to be your teacher? The same one who you find terribly handsome!? Oh god. This is going to be a rough time for you.

He laughs again before standing up to return to his full height. “Nah, the ol’gezzer told me about her as he was jumpin’ my ass ‘bout bein’ late. I was jus' messin’ with ya.” He smiles a toothy grin.

You hear Itadori laugh. “See Gojos not that bad (Y/N). He’s actually a really cool teacher.” Yuji then wraps his arm around Megumi's shoulder and pulls him along with him down the hallway. “We’re gonna go find Kugisaki. See y’all later!”

You faintly hear Megumi tell Itadori to get his slimy hands off him before they are gone. Now left standing there with Shoko and the oh-so-handsome tall guy, he chuckles. “I got it from here Sho. I’ll show her the classroom an’ all the other fun stuff.” He says as he puts his gigantic hands in his pockets.

Jesus was everything about this man big? Oh god. Great now you’re blushing again. ‘Get it together!’ You say to yourself.

“Fine just don’t be..well don't be you Satoru.” Shoko rolls her eyes. “If he creeps you out too much, run to my room and I’ll save you.” She says with a chuckle.

You can’t help the chuckles that comes out of your mouth. So far Satoru doesn’t seem like a creep, but who knows? Stranger things have happened.

Satoru huffs like a child. “M’not a creep. I’m perfectly capable of bein’ a gentleman.” He says as he looks down at you. “Well, unless you wan’ me to be a little rough with ya pretty girl.” He says with a smirk.

And there you go again blushing like a lovesick teenager. God, is this guy always this flirty? This was gonna take some getting used to.

Shoko knows there is no point in trying to stop him. She just sighs and says she heading down to the medical room. She tells Gojo to bring you there when he’s done. He nods and you two start walking over to the classroom. He hasn’t said anything else to you and you start to wonder what he could be thinking. Is he excited to get a new first year even though you’re much older than the other three? Is he going to be a good teacher? Why did he become a teacher at this school when he could have easily just been a normal run-of-the-mill sorcerer? All these thoughts swim through your head as you’re walking and then he abruptly stops in front of a door that you can only assume to be his classroom. He opens the door and holds it open as if to say ‘after you.’ So you walk in. It isn’t much different from the Koyto classrooms you’ve become accustomed to. There is a blackboard, some desks, a couple of bookshelves, what you assume to be his desk and a very expensive-looking black chair.

He sits down in said expensive black chair and crosses one excessively long leg over the other. He’s then looking at you and smiling. You feel your cheeks heat up again under his glare. Why does he have to keep doing this to you? Does he enjoy teasing you? But you think you already know the answer to that...

“So, pretty girl, ‘bout that name?” He asks smirking at you.

[overgrown3d]

What do you need to hear right now?

✨How to select your pile?✨

1. Slow your breathing, taking deep inhales. Focus on feeling present in your environment.

2. Looking from left to right, use your intuition to pick the pile meant for you (what you connect most with.)

3. Doesn't resonate? No worries! Pick another, it's message may be just right for you.

• • •

pile 1 -> pile 2

-> Pile 3

Pile 1 ;

Cards: 6 of Swords, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, Knight of Wands, The Tower (base)

"You have the strength to move forward, Keep going!"

The biggest obstacle in your life right now may be your thoughts. Perhaps you have tried to change or improve certain aspects in your life, particularly the actions you perform to meet your goals, and feel burdened with insecurity as you face hardships and deal with your circumstances. Maybe you've tried to change your life in the past but got disheartened, believing you weren't capable of overcoming your struggles. It seems that you've nurtured an idea, business, relationship, habit, or any action that isn't serving you anymore now that you've grown outside of it. Like building a foundation on unsafe lands, only after an event happens do you realize that it is time to bring about change for your own sake, and rebuild your life on stronger soil. Realizing this may cause a great deal of pain for you, but this change will be fruitful in the end.

~~~~🍃

There is indecision in what next step you should take, but know that you've overcome the greatest leap of all: The first step. You absolutely do have courage to shake off the shackles of your past, whatever they may be. What's next in store for you is a lot of action, but this time with the right decisions and choices.

We all have different circumstances in life, what we need to do is make the best out of it, with whatever we've got. 💚

~~~~🍃

Pile 2 ;

Cards: 10 of Swords, The Emperor, Justice, 3 of swords, 7 of swords, Ace of Wands & The Fool (base)

"You must look like a fool before becoming the master."

Get to work, baby! The message you need to hear right now is get into action! You've got the m-fing chances to be successful! This signals massive career change or great profits. You may have healed or are in the process of healing from a catastrophic event, leaning into a lot of internal questioning, perhaps overcoming grief or loss. You may be exploring different careers you can pursue, or areas of study. You got to take action despite your hesitance to new beginnings, and there will be a great need for discipline, learning new techniques, acquiring skills to master your area in interest. Most likely you will need to sacrifice your hedonist tendencies, maybe even a person that is unbelieving in you, and whatever else is holding you back. I'm hearing "necessary sacrifice". I'm getting the vibe that this could be a business, freelance work, maybe a very demanding job that you considered doing. Delve into uncharted territories and keep reconsidering your career path if you question it being right for you. Your strength relies greatly on your ability to start, now you just need to GO! GO!GO!

~~~~🍃

Pile 3 ;

Cards : 10 of wands, Knight of Pentacles, The Star, Knight of Cups, Ace of Swords (rev)

"You are your biggest investment"

Focus on yourself more, man! It's likely that you're burdened with too many tasks and responsibilities, possibly some from a partnership? Get more in touch with your emotions, your relationships, with yourself, dammit!!! I'm getting massive workaholic vibes here, and that applies to all forms of labor btw! Give yourself a break, you deserve it so much. Neglect your logical, ultra-efficient side for now, because I guarantee that getting a break from your responsibilities (Maybe you are the breadwinner, caretaker, student, or an ambitious person trying to kickstart a business) will produce greater financial success/less financial burden. It's possible you're stressing too much about money, but to you, that stress is reasonable. Let go of the thoughts that limit you to your area of work, and start exploring more of your identity and emotions. You will be able to make a lot of progress with this balance. 💚

~~🍃 You reached the end of the reading, 'till next time!

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hi can you write a HC with Astarion and Blood Hunter Tav/Durge? I love your HC and look forward to it every time I read a new one

Blood Hunters are the monster to fight monsters. They use the profane blood magic to fight the most unspeakable creatures of the dark. Basically, the chance to play the edgiest character possible to freak out other D&D players.

Far from the judging eyes of society, blood hunters have mastered the secretive techniques of hemocraft, finding blood magic’s esoteric nature effective against evils that resist divine rebuke or arcane bindings. Through careful study and practice, blood hunters hone the rites of hemocraft into unique combat techniques, forfeiting a portion of their own health to call blood curses down upon their enemies or summon the elements to aid their strikes. Willing to suffer whatever it takes to achieve victory, these adept warriors have forged themselves into a potent force dedicated to protecting the innocent.

MORE INFO

Blood Hunter isn't an official D&D class and was created by Matt Mercer for Critical Role

TW: very angsty

Astarion x Blood Hunter!Tav

Masterlist

Headcanons

It's not like you aren't fond of the undead.

You hate them.

Ghosts, monsters, demons, name it yourself.

You are edgy as fuck and people usually assume you need psychological intervention because you cut your wrists to perform the rites.

You love being in pain and inflicting pain on others.

Many years ago you were sold to your Brothers and put through the Hunter's Bane.

Few survive the ritual, but you were one of them.

It changed you forever - your facial features, your eyes, your hair color, your body.

You don't admit it but you still mourn the life you could have lived if only your own parents hadn't given you to the brotherhood.

You draw your own blood to create curses. You cut your hands to create a Blood Dagger and kill your enemies with it.

To be able to use your cursed magic, you have to drink the most disgusting potions that ever existed.

And you hate monsters.

Period.

And let's say you aren't really fond of someone drinking your blood.

Besides, vampires are monsters, and everyone knows what to do with them.

But you are a practical person. You better have a vampire of your own.

Together you form a deadly couple. Your blood gives Astarion unique abilities.

But with time your alliance becomes something else.

You see him as a victim. A monster against his will.

There is a thought in your mind but you don't give it too much attention.

You ask Astarion to kill the spawns and let the siblings live.

You are the Blood Hunter. You know too well what it means to release 7000 deranged souls into the wild.

And you warn the siblings to keep a low profile. Or you will come after them.

Cruel? Yes. But who said Blood Hunters are good people?

You definitely aren't good.

Post-game, you know you have to return home. There are too many monsters to fight.

But there is one more thing you need to take care of.

Blood is always the answer. Blood is what makes this world exist.

You can ressurect Astarion. You can make him mortal.

You find the way but there is a price.

If Astarion becomes mortal, he has to join the brotherhood.

It means getting through the Hunter's Bane, which can kill him.

And which will change his appearance - not anything awful but he will look a bit different.

It's not a price you would like him to pay but it's up for Astarion to decide.

He refuses.

"I don't want to become anything else" He says.

You try to persuade him. You beg him. You use all the arguments.

Including the most painful one - if he refuses, you won't stay together.

But you know he won't change his mind.

Astarion cherishes his freedom. He won't lose it again. And he doesn't want to be in debt.

Maybe it's you who should forsake the hemocrafting? And abandon the Brotherhood?

And change your views on the world.

No, it won't work. You are too different.

Astarion leaves once the sun sets.

Now you have one more thing to mourn.

The love you could have got.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96

[sukugo]

Sukuna and gojo are such jujutsu freaks they probably fuck with limitless on and countered by domain amplification or some shit, the sex they have would re-kill everyone in shibuya and it's just a wednesday for them (is seething with jealousy)

YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely YES to countering limitless with amplification. i imagine sukuna studies and explores and tries to come up with different ways to counter it, and there's nothing quite like having satoru below him, face lit up into a teasing grin while he remains untouched under sukuna's attempts, which is then twisted into a gasp and pained flinch when sukuna finally pierces limitless and his hands tear and bury themselves into his skin. in the same way, satoru tries to strenghten himself and finds ways to counter each of sukuna's new techniques (with increasing delight as sukuna overcomes those too)

but yeagh... their fucking is so interlaced with jujutsu and their desire to use their abilities to their fullest potentials and innovating even beyond that. which makes it so destructive (for everyone else. not for them lmao) and it's truly Something. (reminder to never ever ever be in the vicinity of them if they're having sex)