#and I have had enough of its sounds
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my headphones started beeping so I barked at them and they stopped . what a world
#it wasnt like. a beep im supposed to hear#it was a high pitched beeeeeeeeee#and I have had enough of its sounds
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
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I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.
#superman#clark kent#kal el#comics#dc comics#smallville#martha kent#jon kent#ma kent#pa kent#im gonna rant now. this isnt at you its at the dumb fuck who was commenting on my comment on tiktok.#YES! why the fuck wouldn't he be! he was ADOPTED to be adopted you gotta have the right paperwork in order. the person im mad at LITERALLY#SAID Clark was in an orphanage... lets put our thinking caps! if he was in an orphanage Ma and Pa gave him to the state and yk what! i bet#they thought he was an abandoned baby! no one knew he was an alien. if they didnt he would have been in a govt lab! and in a comic i read ma#and pa thought he was a nasa experiment! yk how they put dogs and moneys in orbit? they thought they did that with a baby! so they took him#ok ok ok then the person i was debating said ma and pa were CRIMINALS!!!!! THEY JUST SAID CLARK WAS IN AN ORPHANAGE!#SO MA AND PA FOUND A BABY. TURNED HIM OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES AND AFTER IT WAS PROVEN THAT HE HAD NO FAMILY THEY ADOPTED HIM!#all of that is legal! they made it sound like ma snuck into a house a stole a child! put some respect on the Kents!#and for why we were debating. he had to have been assigned an ID/ss number/citizen ship because he was to the govt an abandoned BABY#they made it sound like Clark was a 20 year old! he was at best a toddler. he didnt need to take a citizenship test or anything cus HE WAS A#BABY! he was just issued citizenship cus to the govt he was an abandoned baby in the usa WHERE EISE WOULD HE HAVE BEEN FROM!#cus i cant stress this enough NO ONE KNEW HE WAS AN ALIEN! (except maybe ma and pa)#the govt gave an abandoned baby in Kansas an us id cus THEY HAD NO REASON TO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE BABY FOUND IN A FEILD IN KANSAS WASN'T#BORN IN THE USA! and with all the paperwork they did on him they gave him us citizen rights like THE RIGHT TO VOTE#there are a million possibilities for why a baby would be abandoned in a feild in Kansas and it would take awhile to aliens#this is what i think the govt thought 'ok baby abandoned in a feild of a local couple. no family to be found. a young mother probably got#pregnant and didn't want to baby so she left it where a couple who couldn't have children could find them. oh look the couple wants to adopt#let them take the baby.' babys being abandoned was so common that safe haven laws were made to give mothers who didnt want their infants a#safe place to drop their kid off (usually a special box at a fire department or hospital)
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laugh with me while i make my own posts real
tha fuckin outfits under the cut
#snap chats#i dont have a selfie tag but its because i plan on posting selfies once in a blue moon#idk the under the cut’s a warning enough#anyway ive had these shoes for. a while ive just been too lazy to actually put everything on djOAZJAK#oh yeah those are the y3-walk-sound gator boots. i love them very much#i didnt even include the bullet chain meant to go on the gator boots … lol …#ive had these outfits in general for a while but every time i think of showing them i throw up#but i feel brave today…. so what EVER#ok bye i think im eating.#idk im supposed to head out with my bro soon to go grocery shopping but he taking a year so#oh while im here. i still dont know who to go as for animenyc… in august…#my bestis planning to go as aerith so either option would be hilarious#ok im done rambljng now bye
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I am actually so sick of my tl on twt being flooded by complaints like be so freaking for real if you hate the game just leave stop playing it I promise it’s okay
#WAAAWAAAWAAA THEY DONT HAVE LATINO VAS#LISTEN alhaitham had a half Palestinian VA yk what he did ? BUTCHER EVERY ARAB NAME and so did everyone else#there’s other Arab vas and they too butchered their names. I hate it too#them vas being of the race the natlan characters are will NOT fix that problem ok because they can white wash the pronounciation like crazy#and yk what it’s lowkey WORSE if it’s an Arab va cause then everyone thinks that’s how you pronounce that name#when in reality it sounds as atrocious as nails on chalkboards BE FR#SMHHHHH#and it’s a new complaint every freaking day like what the heck#first it’s skin colour second it’s imaginary complaints like the vas nationality PICK A STRUGGLE#if you truly hated the game you would’ve quit. outright you would’ve quit#but the reason you don’t quit is cause the issues you claim to care so deeply about are things#you do not care ENOUGH about and hoyo has you wrapped around#their pinkies so if you’re gonna complain; then complain properly and QUIT THE GAME#I am so sick of everyone complaining and polluting the atmosphere#like yall can I say something controversial? when it was sumeru i genuinely do not care enough because it is not that bad#for the level of rep we are getting sure there’s some mistakes but if you’re gonna#sit here and whine about everything you would NEVER be satisfied#sure the inaccuracies are annoying BUT ITS ONLY MILDLY SO#now pls like … if you truly are a justice warrior quit the game alr and prove you care about these#“major issues” if I as a swana person who IS disappointed in some aspects of sumeru yet it is not that atrocious as you all claim it to be#then I think you natlan folks whining like the trumpet of the day of judgement has been blown should really pipe down a tad bit#dora daily
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IndoMiku!!!
+ an edit of her if she's realistically a real Indo (don't pay attention to the messy recolor pls lmao. i accidentally merged all the layers and it became. that.)
#hatsune miku#my art#doodle#vocaloid#i know a lot of schools here have different uniforms that might fit her better#but! i entered SMAN and im drawing her with what i had to wear lmao#its miku. she slays either way#funnily enough indomiku sounds like indomieku lmao
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Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.
I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.
And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.
If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.
I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.
#i am so normal about the elves of cuivienen feeling the betrayal worse than anyone in aman including feanor and co#they PROMISED safety from Morgoth and orcs. they PROMISED beautiful lands without sorrow. they PROMISED all that and down the line#decided Mogoth had played pretend well enough to warrant him probation during which he immediately killed again#returns to the east and sullies what beauty had been left. and then even from afar he manages to hurt those from cuivienen with the WoW#dont get me wrong i think the cuivienen elves knew there had to be war against Morgoth for him to be defeated. but the fact that the valar#decided not to only abandon those of beleriand for over 5 centuries before that AND once the war is won also abandon#those of cuivienen to watch their beloved lands drown without as much a warning must sting.#i want there to be a concious decision of 'you abandoned your promise to us twice why should we ever trust you again even in your own lands'#a 'you promised our people who folowed you safety. you didnt deliver. you promised us freedom from morgoth. you didnt deliver. in fact your#inadequacy and decision to let him loose made everything worse for us in the east. why should we ever listen to anything you say'#and thus a concious effort to shed association with Aman as the Valar govern it. they cant leave. the way is shut. but they can establish#a sticking to their own tongue and traditions without the interference of the Ainur. they've done enough. not enough and yet quite enough.#the avari are welcome should some be reborn.#i never know if i want those of cuivienen to be reborn in aman or fade into unexistence entirely both have merit and sexy hcs#but if any were reborn i think they would get along fairly alright with the exiles. kinslaying exiles? 50/50 depending on repentance#but anyone who does not believe the valar's words and respects their decision to not ever be associated with them is welcomed neutral-warmly#they teach them songs about cuivienen. the sweet waters. beautiful meadows. the birdsong that sounds extra cheerful. fish in abundance#and in turn they get taught songs about beleriand. bewitched forests. victorious battles. wild rivers. frothy shores.#it is seen as an honour to be taught a song about Cuivienen by the people who sat by its shores once. in their language/dialect/whatever#instead of in sindarin or quenya. some millenia into the 4th age tou have a surge of ppl speaking cuivienen dialect#it becomes a clear distinction of who still has fondness left for the valar and who would feel indifferent if they vanished suddenly.#this tag essay has gotten way too long again. sorry besties it will happen again.#tag essay longer than the fucking post???? help#tolkien headcanons
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having another one of my job-related crises
#where are the jobs for blokes that do fuck all. where are they!!!!!!!#i am quite literally looking for jobs where you do nothing. you do not understand how much i dont want to do anything#granted my current job has a certain amount of doing nothing in that i have the time to look for jobs where i do nothing#but i want to do even more nothing. do you understand#if i lived on my own i probably would consider some weird night shift job#but its probably better i have the routine i have living during the day like a normal person#despite the drawbacks of my cursed routine#where are those jobs i see people making tiktoks about where you do fuck all in the office and send like one email a day. id kill for that#my dream is to be paid for like. mostly sitting somewhere where i can work on my needlepoint#id even do mindless data entry. PLEASE pay me for mindless data entry i love repetitive tasks. if you let me listen to music im unstoppable#ive come across a couple data entry jobs but i think they always require a college degree#and its like oops sorry i never had the time or money for that! still dont! however i can promise you my autism is qualification enough#my dad talks about the market research jobs he used to have and how for like the entry level jobs there#there was clearly so much goof off time they were playing early computer games and shit#but there were like so much more data entry jobs that i guess are obsolete now bc of technology#and its like yes technology good but theyve destroyed an important job category: jobs where you do fuck all#whenever i have one of these crises i also check out gigs n jobs on craigslist and unfortunately everything there seems so sketchy#like every 'personal assistant' job sounds either super pervy or like im going to get serial killed#i should get paid a million dollars a year for doing nothing at all i think#anyway once again my only option is my successful director dreams. would be great if theyd actually happen#<- guy that doesnt spend enough time actually working on creative works in progress#well anyway. such is my mental state today thank you for your time
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i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to “educate” me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic 💀 they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my “anti ship propaganda” in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right 😅#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will 💀#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
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me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies
#iwillspeakincessantly#god it felt so nice to meet with her again#talking woth someone whos been so influential at my school and the whole state as far as transgender and queer policy making and has#so many connections amd experience and is also trans and historically a teacher bfor she retired#genuinely makes me feel so much better about my life and where im going#and less worried about if ill ever be able to live a peaceful life as a trans twacher when she personally knows#multiple other transmen tbats shes taught who are now teaching IN MY STATE#safely and happily#ough#we said wed meet more in the future and she encouraged me to join the cities pride group that she had founded and is the head of#and maybe tjis time ill actjally go#she even gifted me a book that she had had that she thinks would give me solace and comfort in my life#tbat was also written by a trans man sinxe she thinks im easily intelligent enough to get the humor and referwnces in#god she said i was well spoken and articulated even tho i feel so stupid and inarticulate sometimes#since i ramble a lot and lose my thoughts and i feel like my speaking vocabulary is so lowbrow and cheap often#no matter how many times other peope say i always sound so intelligent when i speak#ARGH#been super steessed about a lot of things in my life and if ill make it out alive but just this short hour and a half convo over a food#has made me feel so mich better and happier and hopeful#argh argh ougj i love finding out that people talk immense amount of positive things about me#god#i was rlaking about how often i struggle woth socializing amd making friends and she aas like really? ive been having a wondefful time#walkimg with you youre so intelligent and well spoken and its like thank you my issues ckme from group settings#and unclear un familiar subjects and ettiqutes of my fellow youths#but it made me feel so good about myself#im gonna implode :333333 positive
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cluster b tumblr how do i bring up to a therapist or anyone really looking into personality disorders
i've been working with people for the past 11 years and nothing has been working and nobody knows what's wrong with me or how to treat/support me. not to mention i have such a problem with continuing to mask in therapy and such to the point where it's liiike highkey comical ??
i've bought it up to my therapist before but she really quickly shut it down, saying she doesn't like labels like that, but i'm getting a new therapist soon and i want this to be a priority just upfront. i'm really sick of the cycles i find myself in
#not art#cluster b#npd#hpd#bpd#aspd#narcissistic personality disorder#histrionic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#antisocial personality disorder#i know it could sound like confirmation bias i'm looking for but i cannot stress enough how much i've tried to convince myself i don't have#these issues#sometimes i think about it & it's like. jesus christ if this is real I'm Stuck With This. or it's like. oh wow i'm not perfect ok#but on that same note it's like. if i can get proper treatment then maybe i can be as good as i possibly can be#reading other people's advice from these communities has somehow seemed to help more than the doctors i've worked with#its a very similar experience to when nobody knew why i had certain issues until a behavioural specialist said it might be autism#& then i looked into it more and was like “wow this is the first time people have Got It” and then was diagnosed with autism
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church today was SO good
#julia.txt#my church started out as an arabic church#but then ppl started having kids and we ran into the problem of these kids dont know arabic well enough to understand whats being said#so we started doing two meetings one in arabic and one in english/french#but it was kinda discouraging bc it meant the arabic meeting (which is the one i attend) is very sparsely populated#the bilingual one too but like. theres still more people#but today we tried combining the two so like#singing hymns in arabic and english#if someone could pray in both languages they would#the sermon had a real time translation#AND IT WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SO NICR#its been so long since we've had everyone in the same room i almost started crying with the first hymn because it sounded so FULL#praying that we make the switch to that
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Thinking about a time I wrote a 7 paragraph long post analysing Walter and Skylar's relationship back in 2022 and somehow it got deleted and I was so devastated and I felt so silly and useless and I stopped posting altogether.
#you know what shatters me the most#rn in 2024 i don't even remember what it was about them that i was writing about even though back then i was so passionate to say it#i had shit to say#i always did#but the truth is i was and am still going through some of the most depressing times of my life and this small blow#that is losing just TEXT of what i was thinking#something that i could have rewritten#or something that i could have taken in stride and kept on posting#was enough to discourage me from wanting to do anything#and i can't even explain it ig ik it sounds pathetic and lazy and maybe doesn't make sense#but it felt like such a blow (ik its not that big a deal but maybe it was my mental state but thats how it felt to my brain)#i want to do so much and its like my brain just keeps standing in the way and i cant tell anyone cause i know how pathetic this sounds#but goddamn i really love breaking bad so much i do#breaking bad#jesse pinkman#better call saul#walter white#saul goodman#also fuck walter white you bitch
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if you're walking at 5mph, but your feet are on sideways, and the sky turns green at 2:53, and Keanu Reeves has been sent to Neptune, what's your favorite video game
i cant walk 5mph in the first place, im only 5'4 and i have to walk like marvin the fucking martian everywhere i go
if my feet were on sideways i would still manage to get my shoes on wrong because i cant tell my left from my right
if the sky turns green that means every single car on the road is allowed to go at the same time
keanu reeves cant be sent to neptune with an expired passport
my favorite videogame MIGHT be professor layton and the diabolical box just because ive never been able to get over the ending, but mario galaxy and deltarune also come to mind
#this was very fun to answer thank u :o) ive always loved multiple choice questions#maybe if i had more multiple choice in my life id be able to get things done faster just closing my eyes and hoping for the best#its amazing that i dont own a magic eight ball. it would do wonders for my natural indecision and superstition#also to be fair ive only played the first two layton games even though i have the 3rd and 4th games on my cracked cartridge#BUT thats because my copy of unwound future is ass and it freezes on the opening cutscene so i cant even play it. sigh#maybe i should consider getting the mobile remastered versions but im lazy and i dont even know if i have enough storage space#there should be enough space on my ipad though so maybe. or ill back up some files to make room idk#i would have also answered undertale bc i had a huge undertale phase when it came out but im gonna be honest. ive never actually played it#im actually wondering if i should buy a copy for myself for xmas using grays steam account#the only thing im worried about is my motor skills are bad with keyboard and im dreading the asgore fight bc i heard its hard#but ive also never watched a full playthru so i feel like id be going into the game blind which sounds exciting. and ill prbably cry a lot#besides that ive been replaying mario galaxy with gray and i forgot how good the game is.. i love the ambience and game mechanics#although the races are so nerve wracking and i hate the controls sometimes. did u know i died on loopdeloop galaxy TWELVE FUCKING TIMES#also deltarune because i love EVERYTHING abt it i love the lore i love SUSIE i love the whole thing kris has going on#yapping#ask
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GOOD GOD STOP GIVING US THUNDERCLAN POVS LET ME OUT THIS BITCH !!! SHOW ME WINDCLAN IN MODERN DAY PLEAAAASEEEEEEEEE
#warrior cats#changing skies#moonpaw you couldve been great#no seriously though thunderclan is becoming increasingly irrelevant to the main plotlines we have TWO THUNDERCLAN POVS IN THE ACTIVE PLOT#IS THAT NOT ENOUGH#ranty#BRING BACK SINGULAR MAIN CHARACTERS#Windclan cats always have insane family drama going on too no one can have a secret second family like a windclan cat#its happened several times i need to like study them#everyone in that clan sounds like an asshole all the time#its like what people think shadowclan is#genuinely though we only have like super editions/novellas abt windclan and no pov characters and thats so crazy to me#but please erins let thunderclan rest for a little maybe if we didnt know every cat in every generation's parents and kits#there wouldnt be as much of an incest problem#moonpaw is so inbred its insane shes like 5x related to firestar or smth#they shouldve neutered lionheart when they had the chance jesus christ
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