#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao

[alchemiclee]

i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.

[wheelercore]

Theory with no coherent proof on my part: brenner only visibly ages rapidly when a portal is open.

[fadeintoyou1993]

so.

[just-antithings]

I remember when i started playing Bg3 and its been a while and i witnessed the fandom ONCE at the start and never looked back ..oh the fandom holy fuck why is it filled with kids and antis.

You can intrude on a very big npc being fucked by an average sized creature, im suprised they didn't call the average sized one child-coded,

The drow twins that you can pay to spend the night with.. i mean they are twins so why are antis being quiet when they would give out to people about incest with any characters that they deemed 'found family' even if they aren't related

Dont forget about the bear scene, i know these are optional but I'm just saying isn't this 'normalising' things according to antis.

Or the fact nudity can be turned on, which 'oh no think of the children' antis are very quiet about

The dude who like to whip people for his god and you can let him whip you, is that not 'romanticising abuse' suddenly?

Oh wait have antis learned what bdsm amd fiction is finally and how puritan they are? Oh no no no no they were too focused on harassing people who made Fanart of astarion that wasnt to their liking, Fucking astarion! thats all i fucking saw was complaints about 'oh no astarion wouldnt do this hes too traumatised' 'stop sexualising astarion your just like his abuser' 'youre sexualising his trauma' 'stop romanticising his scars' 'Dont play this route in the game, youre hurting him and youll be a monster for it!' etc

These children and adults in the fandom making these complaints are not mature enough for a mature 17+ / 18+ game, that much is clear.

Sorry for the vent, this has been bothering me since bg3 was released and i played it then looked at the fandom..

every damn time

[chronicallyonline101]

Going to rant here instead cause there's a limit to how much you can say on the reply 🗿

But anyway u're literally that "no, i can't laugh yet, i've gotta hold it in" meme audio 😭 BUT YES DON'T SPOIL IT PLS as much as i love eating up the sneak peaks u’re feeding us i want to be surprised... or jumpscared 😨

Ok, so here’s my delu— i mean my first theory. It has everything to do with her Stand. H4B’s evolution/influence isn’t just some silly side effect thing, it’s a slow recurring thing that’s been subtly affecting mc throughout the story. The headaches, the static liquid bleeding from her eye? That’s foreshadowing. You dropped the bomb on us that H4B is the reincarnation or soul of her mom, so what if over time, it started realizing how dumb her daughter is for staying in la squadra? In a desperate attempt to protect her daughter H4B overloaded her brain, frying it or smth, suppressing her emotions or past. A traumatic event during a solo mission could have been the trigger, leaving mc in a vulnerable blanked out state where she collapses.

We’ve already seen that H4B is a sentient stand, sometimes acting on its own, so it’s not far fetched to think it made this decision for her daughter. This is like they're 2nd time running away together from a problem. This would explain why la squadra (except melone) believed she’s dead cause they had already witnessed something similar with sorlato (who i’d like to believe are alive somewhere saved by the power of plot armor... making sweet, sweet love… crazy kids… to be in love…)

Enter bucci’s team. They find her in this altered state and take her in which perfectly aligns with another sneak peek you revealed in the past where abba saved her. While she’s with them, temporarily "forgetting" la squadra or can't act upon it since H4B controls her emotions when it comes to them, this is where her rs with bucci and abba begin to grow. Cause how else is abba/reader and bucci/reader going to develop if she wasn’t with them for an extended period? Girl i could smell the trauma bonding. Abba and mc with their trauma with guns, mc’s past is not the best but even then maybe her and bucci could bond over their love for the ocean (idk if mc loves the ocean, i just know she’s sentimental, i think, over it since her and melone used to live near the beach)

Mc had to be gone long enough for la squadra to fully believe she’s dead but at the same time her "death" must have happened soon enough for baby face’s tracking to still detect her DNA. So maybee… one of the bucci’s members interfered? Like they saw some weird ass uggo looking stand constantly trying to follow them/mc and were like "wtf? looks dangerous. *whacks it*"

Oh yeahh and then there's her necklace that was gifted by melone. I feel like it’s going to be crucial in getting her memories back cause if i remember correctly you mentioned in the ao3 comments that it’s going to play an important role. So maybe that’s the key to breaking wtv suppression H4B placed on her

And finally my second theory– none of our theories means shit because u're going to introduce something we aren’t even aware of yet anway 💀

when i tell you ive spent the past hour pacing back and forth around my room because of this theory i AM NOT LYING oh my actual god what the fuck how the fuck there is a LOT you said here that is genuinely one thousand percent accurate that its SCARING me like i genuinely do not i dont what the

there is a SO MUCH i want to say about this BUT I CANT IM SO SORRY I REALLY LIKE THIS THOUGH YOU ARE SO SMART FOR PICKING UP ON ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS

now, as much as you got a few things right, you ALSO got some stuff wrong AND I WONT CLARIFY WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG because im EVIL - but you are correct in that there are things that havent been introduced to the plot yet that will shift things :3

OH AND MC absolutely is nostalgic for the sea, i think cuz growing up she was never really happy with her parents and home life, living with Melone gave her a sense of freedom and happiness and so she DEFINITELY holds a sentimental place for the ocean and beaches !!

[kenta-torture]

Please do another kent ramble love it

okay yay!!!!!!!!!!! the kenta! fun fact i am working of a hunting trophy of him to put on my wall (normal). this ramble is kind of the sequel to how i hope the aftermath of survive goes with him. sh mention at the end but its kind of just looking rlly deeply into smthn.

topic of the hour: hey hasnt it been a while since metal erosion was mentioned? (then again im not caught up fully. i have like 2 more drama tracks left. i also might have missed it in which case. gomen)

sooo. im very aware that the entire metal erosion and sci fi type aspects of paradox live arent meant to be that serious (as in, rules for the story to remember every moment and be haunted by. if that makes sense) so its totally fine for the writers to focus on more backstory stuff less fear for their lives blah blah bleh.

but they have a very interesting gimmick(?) punishment(?) system(?) to use that is so deeply intertwined with what every character does. i personally think/hope that theyre going to use it again but its whatever if all of the sci fi aspects go imo. i dont really care for most of the alter trigger aspects/ it was meant to be forces to drive characters rather than making this a sci fi based story.

anyways predictions for who has metal erosion from the newer(?)(i think theres a fandom name for them) teams. this is also based off of who i think it would be funnier/hurt more. from visty i would presume toma (doesnt the metal look kind of like a burn scar? scratches head) and kantaro. 1nm8 is hard to guess and i think they might skip 1nm8 since metal erosion might push them off the edge early into retiring or whatever. amprule is also hard because on one hand we have dongha whos already pushing himself to be the best, and on the other maybe if chungsung had it, it would push dongha to consider others better or something but thats kind of no fun for me. and kenta from gokuluck. obv.

kantaro and kenta are kind of the same with this since they're both the main producers of the music, with kantaro being the most canon/in story already version of what i think/hope will happen to kenta. like kantaro did lock himself in his room or something to work on music. this assumption riffs off the idea that metal erosion mostly comes off overworking yourself (okay reviewing this. i dont think anyone has had metal erosion from overworking but thtas plausible right??) but of course there are other reasons which is also why i love the concept of it so much.

so back to the kenta grind, him getting metal erosion would fuck him up. of course theres like. a medical way to cure it like how they did with nayuta, but that hospital dissolved iirc and do you think prisoners are getting good medical care. i get that this is set in japan but they have corrupt prison guards and bad security i doubt they would grant gokuluck any luxury like that.

so all we have left is a phantom metal kiss or whatever which, under the assumption he already knows about how it works (he is kenta mikoshiba. the endbringer_666 of all time. he knows everything), he wouldnt like it. he already wears like baggy ass clothing that could hide it, i think the only sign is that hes forgetting shit and being a little laggier (isnt that like. symptoms. im so sure thats part of the deal but also with every character whos had metal erosion that doesnt seem to be enough for others to notice? so i dont know.) maybe the lag is enough to piss him off and drive him a little crazy because hes the great kenta mikoshiba shouldnt he be at like 120fps with perfect memory why cant he think!

which might be enough for him to try and get help/complain or whatever but also. a pmk is so vulnerable (like you have to. go inside their head and undo/talk them out of the mindset of their trauma. i think. which is such anime shit but its funny i fw it) and please consider that his unit is close from proximity. and all adults. not to say that they dont have a bond i think they do its just so denied because this is supposed to be a way of survival and to get out of prison why would they be friends (lie). also consider that. none of his unitmates are like. the most good/moral people out there. and he has to go to them of all people to open up about his past and ask for help?

crazy. anyways itll probably be mr prison warden to do it so if youre a fan of father yuto son kenta. woohoo! big win for found family (im not really into it because i like when kenta has a bad time but like. its so likely and i dont deny the truth i see)

[previously i had an entire section glazing tf out of the concept of metal erosion from a writing standpoint but im ngl i got a lot of it wrong sooooo. soon to be added again after rereading memory and going back to the first cds bcs i guess i missed a lot]

[spleenthecat]

ok ive been thinking about valentin a lot lately so im just going to infodump what i have right now.

first i should say. i dont plan on giving the guy trauma. i know its a whole thing with ocs and that they always have trauma, but i really dont want to do that with valentin. and i have a reason for this. the whole reason i want stan to have a boyfriend like this in the first place is because he deserves to have some kind of stable figure in his life. someone who can comfort him and be understanding of him without their own issues also weighing down on them. valentin is in a place where he is able to be that kind of person for stan. and thats because hes mentally stable enough to do that. okay now for the actually entertaining stuff. valentin is a very gentle and nice guy despite how big and scary he is (and the fact he kills people..) and is friendly with pretty much everyone in town like stan is.

hes very big into parkour and stuff. before he moved to gravity falls it was more urban parkour, scaling buildings and such, and afterwards he got really interested in exploring the forest and climbing the trees. he sees it like a giant playground. its very fun.

him being into parkour is actually what led to him becoming a hitman. i couldn't for the life of me tell you how exactly he ended up with that job, but it made a decent living and he didn't mind it much. but whatever

he has a few piercings. he has pierced ears (which was in the concept art) and ive decided he can also have snakebites and a nose piercing too, why the hell not. he probably has a few tattoos too, but i havent put enough thought into those yet.

speaking of snakebites. he loves snakes. i think everyone deserves a favorite animal and his is snakes. stan is inexplicably terrified of snakes so whenever theres one in the shack or on the porch then valentin is the one to take care of it.

also. remember how i said "dont ask this guy where he was in the mid 80's" on the concept art? well since youre here i might as well give some clarification to that. there were like. "parties" for bears in the 80's in california. he was over there. for completely unrelated reasons. dont worry about it. dipper was one thousand percent convinced valentin was a werewolf when him and mabel first got to the shack. sure, he was really nice to them, but what if it was all a ploy so he could eat them or whatever werewolves do?? plus, he was always running off into the forest to "work out". it was suspicious.. and then he realized valentin was just really active and liked nature. boring.

mabel loovves doing valentin's hair. its so long, the possibilities are endless!! lots of times he ends up just being a model for her, doing different hairstyles or wearing different accessories. its very sweet and wholesome and cool.

soos basically has two dads now. valentin is always there to teach him stuff and give advice. compared to stan he's the voice of reason most of the time. they're very close.

dont think i forgot about wendy! he's close with wendy too! she taught him how to use axes to climb trees more efficiently and other methods of navigating the forest. he taught her how to fire guns. it's great.

and now the best for last. stan.

valentin met stan after moving to gravity falls in order to be more secluded and less likely to be hunted down by cops. this was about 7 years after stan got there, so he was already pretty settled in. they met in greasy's diner and talked for a while, hitting it off. they kept meeting there for lunch and sometimes breakfast, and after a while they grew closer and hung out more often. blah blah blah they start dating its all great. cool!

fun fact. they're unofficially married. they can't legally get married since it was like. the 90's when they started dating and even then the timeline goes up until 2012 where same sex marriage still wasn't legal. but they said "hey even if we can't sign the paperwork (which would be a headache anyways) we can still wear matching rings and live together and basically be husbands but socially instead of legally." and so they're. basically married.

i said in the concept art that valentin is kinda housewife like? yeah. he takes care of the house and stuff while stan goes out and works, and really just. likes baking. it seems out of place considering everything else but he just likes it.

when stan finishes his work day, its immediately to valentin for emotional support and cuddles. theres nothing more relaxing than just sitting back and letting val hold him close. maybe talk about how their days went. domestic bliss and all that.

shockingly valentin is very bad at flirting. but not in the way you're probably thinking. stan will say something like "damn baby youre body is soo beautiful. all of that working out is really paying off huh." and then valentin will reply like "well i think your eyes are pretty and your silver hair brings out the way they shine when you're happy" like how the hell is stan supposed to reply to that. valentin is so stupid /aff

also stan gets flustered very easily around him. no matter how badass you think he looks with his brass knuckles ready to fight, he looks like a pathetic wet cat next to valentin.

ive also had a lot of thoughts about him and ford interacting, but im gonna put that in another post because this alone is already over 900 words and thats too much. so uh. yeahh. hope you like him.

[fictionfixations]

3.1 amphoreus thoughts

i know i can take breaks but its just my preference to play it all at once, especially so i dont immediately get spoiled and then i can watch other ppl play at a slower pace so i can be sure the story is really in there and i can also get an understanding of other ppls takes on it in case i missed anything👍

i had a little bit of an issue while downloading it something about i think like pressurizing(??) so whoops also LMFAO why are you a square all of a sudden

anyway while im here imma yap a bit. i feel like. good audio design is underrated. or i just dont see it enough?? like. like i listened to clips of an audio drama for the first time and its so fucking good what the hell? i had earbuds on and at some parts i had to shudder or blink like dude it sounded like it was with me? like it was far away but it sounded like as if i was in the same plce and they were nearby and it was crazy good wtf. it was heaven official's blessing btw im amazed. if all audio dramas are like this i wanna listen

like id love to just close my eyes and listen but also i dont know chinese so unfortunate, but i also have a problem of if i close my eyes to listen to something im going to fall asleep even if im trying to focus 😭

the resolutions are genuinely so messed up though LMFAO WHOOPS ill fix it later i wanna do the story (praying story is not messed up)

STOPP I CANT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY 'alpha' DUDE everytime that word is mentioned it immediately makes it so unserious i cant

actually prediction

i bet theres an evil phainon and then our phainon. cause in the trailer it seemed like phainon stabbed mydei but actually the body looks more like phainon we just think its mydei cause of how it was edited

and the evil phainon killed everyone and was like hahahaha see what evil i am committing with your face, that you could do??? something something idk

i was like AYO DAN HENG and then i realized it was 'dan heng?' AND LIKE DUDE that gave me chills like wait this couldve been a fake!? i think because i see ourselves as outsiders that i never even thought of it since this relates to amphoreus

if im being perfectly honest i dont really remember shit from the xianzhou luofu 💀 its in that period of time where i played hsr but have zero recollection of

ah so it applies to everyone

worried about what dan heng faced but hes....... mostly gotten through his trauma i think?? ???? i mean i dont really think you can get over over trauma but like... healing. maybe?

is this applying to phainon???

robin ult makes fights so unserious om

cutscene: shows phainon stabbing someone

game: proceeds to lag and freeze on phainons face so im just sat here like ????? WHAT HAPPENED

im gonna lower the render quality and hope that helps. i just had it at 1.0 because i wanted to see the character models well cause they pretty

actually so it seems like phainon did try to stab mydei but

so what if what phainon saw was himself? himself who was taken over by strife so he (who is influenced by the trial and had ultimately 'fallen') attacks 'himself' who is actually mydei?

am i making sense i feel like im not wording it right

HUH

'you cant say that to a girl' i kind of thought mem was no gender 😭 tho i never paid attention to the pronouns ppl use for mem so i have no clue i just figured ah yes animal-like being. hm. maybe you dont have gender

i would like to inform people that i am really bad at telling what ppl are saying without captions so even if it did seem like dude was saying something i would not be able to tell at all

yeah .. ??? replaying the audio sounds like nonsense to me tbh. maybe its actually saying something. i cannot tell

no way is he dead bruh isnt he a playable character for the next patch or something? or i mightve gotten that wrong im not sure? im just like 75% sure it was like him and castorice?

PRETTY. calypso huh?

girl you can see??? with your eyes closed? uhhhh actually that might be insensitive idk maybe she lost her eyes but she can still see just not through.. them.???? no clue

cerces..

..black-robed swordmaster?

anaxa???? what happened to your eyes?

HUH

ITS THIS DUDE

flame reaver?? i forgor what he was called in the special program

CASTORICE??

DID TRIANNE GET HIT (that was trianne right im so sorry i cannot remember who is who)

!?!?!?!?

three slashes is enough??? to.. to kill us all??? ??????/

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

also lowering the render did not make it stop lagging during cutscenes gah..

ALSO ANAXA??? CERCES???

SHE USED THE CENTURY GATE AGAIN

TRIANNE?!??!?!?

IM NOT OVER THE DEATH FLAGS THAT THEYVE BEEN GIVING OFF FROM THE TRAILER AND ALSO THAT ONE VIDEO THAT HAD LIKE A BUNCH OF STUFF FROM AMPHOREUS CUTSCENES?/

dude u good? last i checked you were being possessed or some shit cause you had a part of a titans soul(?) in you? i already forget was it the soul the body or the coreflame? i cant remember im so sorry ill remind myself later

also actually i remember people freaking out that we touched castorice cause like her touch kills right? but we fine so huh

i doubt that we'd be unaffected considering the butterfly effect last patch that prevented us from going near her (with the exception of one instance where i could though i cant remember when)

im actually having trouble deciphering this my eyes just want to glaze over 😭

hm

trianne could totally die is the thing while still keeping the playable character 'alive' since its not. tribbie trianne and trinnon, or tribios. its just tribbie.

hello sweetie pie. youre so small 🥺

i feel like itd be cool if tribbie had outfits and it was so you could also walk around as trianne or trinnon

dont tell me you went into a hot bath in your full like.. armor. dude.

:(

oop

LMFAO YEAH DUDE DID GET IN THE BATH IN FULL ARMOR

!? WHAT HAPPENED TO TRINNON ISTG IF THEY KILL OF TRIANNE AND TRINNON AND LEAVE TRIBBIE ALONE

bruh sounded so flabbergasted LMFAO

WAIT IS THE FLAME REAVER WHATEVER THE FUCK ....!?!?!?!??! HE KILLED CYRENE??/ PHAINON GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE WE FOUND HIM also is she dead? or is she like a ghost or-- i mean we know she died we literally hvae art of her being split in two but like. it makes me wonder how she appeared in like the music video

..im assuming cyrene is referring to like elysia? tbh until they get introduced im just not gonna remember names of ppl from amphoreus

also wait does that mean that masked guy was IN the trial? like actually or a fake?

ahh so the trial we saw was mydei's.

oh god.

?? actual kidnapping? of bby?

(hesitant, sad?) 'is this.. my childhood? i dont remem--'

(happy) 'use the spindle to connect everyone!'

the whiplash between these two lines and the happy one interrupting... LMFAO

when i make tribbie run i keep expecting the run from genshin of the kiddos

WTF IS THIS NIGHTMARE SHIT ??? JUMPSCARE??

GET ME OUT OF HERE MOM IM SCARED (but its mom doing it sob) TRIBBIE EJFESUFSUJF

WHY IS IT REPEATING SUBDUED

the dolls representing them are gone

trinnon and trianne are missing

tribbie bursts into flames?

dude wtf 😭

i hit the image limit so quest description is

A dream carries us back to memories long faded by time, and this dream mirrors the profound fears within our hearts.

'you wont make it to the end. only one person can.'

STOP WITH THE DEATH FLAGS I KNOW I THINK THATLL HAPPEN BUT I DONT WANT IT TO

"All shall bid farewell to one, and that person alone will witness the miracle -" and then above it is the text but small "Only one shall live till the end, and they alone will witness Era Nova"

i hate thisss fuck

what if orynx's coreflame was taken by the flame reaver dude?

im still waiting on the longer boss fight

TRIANNE NOOO

'tribbie..' *cutscene starts to lag* 'see you tomorrow'

cant believe everything else was smooth then on triannes possible death scene it lags 💀

though ive seen it multiple times in like the trailer

i kept waiting for us to appear but no :(

okay the loading screen showing tribbie trianne and trinnon... you.

wtf? they hear trianne might be dead and they start acting up to be like okay so we dont need you chrysos heirs anymore

do you not have any respect for people what the fuck

???

to be perfectly honest ive gotten into a bunch of fandoms with frustrating characters who arent really grateful and are assholes and just a part of me kind of just wants to be like okay. you dont need us? okay then we'll just leave. bye. see what happens. oh you died too bad so sad

like idk man i have a lot of pent up anger from mdzs where i wanna be like okay you blame wwx okay then what if he doesnt lend a hand to help? oh what was that? you actually needed him to even win ??? WOW

i know theres a lot of innocent people who dont have anything to do with that who would end up getting into the crossfires too i just.

have to wonder if it is really worth it to work really hard all the time risking your life to save everyone only for when you make a mistake or god forbid die or some shit and get hit with backlash immediately like ah yes youve outlived your usefulness now go away

??

and i know its like. theyre doing it to save people. but i am not selfless man, not the type of person to be like youre such an asshole to me but id still save you 😭

dude i cant count how many times ive yawned during this idk why bruh like when i started the quest i yawned too and i just. i didnt think i was awake for that long but i guess i was wth? slipped my mind i was like before this i should take a nap beforehand so im at peak energy levels

then i just forgor to do that

phainon please dont die to protect me

oh god mydei telling phainon where his like achilles heel (weakness) is...

oh no.

LETS GO CUTSCENE NOT LAGGING AT ALL THIS TIME

fuck that attack that looks like a herta ult is so cool man wth

TRIANNE..

THEY FOUND HER BODY?? WHAT THE FUCK

oh my god

didnt expect child death in my honkai star rail

what if the prophecy is wrong

what if its not from kephale

i really doubt we can take in a coreflame

mydei taking the strife coreflame didnt change his belief just made it stronger and more blunt 💀 'like yall tradition of fighting wars and shit and throwing lives away is dumb and absurd'

i would think one would listen to the will of a god more but bruh is still in denial like dude....

im gonna crash out or something if mydei gets corrupted by like the black tide and phainon has to kill him dude. agh..

"One day you shall die with a wound on your back."

NO

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO

LALALALA I DIDNT HEAR SHIT

'if theres a chance in the next life, you should come visit my library'

tbh getting demon slayer vibes of................... i dont really want to spoil it man 😭it made me sad

oh my god is that young mydei

he sound so baby

quest description

"I, the undying Mydeimos, the Last Prince, the new God of Strife... Now tread the blood-soaked road home."

Year 4931 of the Light Calender, Month of Balance Nikador - the Strife Titan, Lance of Fury - fell. Mydeimos, king of Kremnos, triumphed over the trial, and the new god was born. On the following day, the Kremnoan dynasty, which had lasted for a thousand years, came to an end.

'aquilaopens' missing a space id show screenshot but im image limit

oh... their mother saying she'll see tribios tomorrow or the next and the next and

trianne saying see you tomorrow..

'radiant see of flowers' i think thats meant to be sea LMFAO

Light Calender 3760, Month of Evernight "Janusopolis' Holy Maiden" Tribios bore the Coreflame to quell the world's chaos and became a demigod of Janus. She traversed the "Gate of Infinity," splitting into a thousand messengers to spread the divine prophecy across the land of Amphoreus. After a century of arduous journeying... Light Calender 3870, Month of Freedom Humanity's Flame-Chase Journey officially began.

im going to cry

OH MY GOD MARCH

i didnt manage to get a screenshot it passed by so fast and i was in shock. shes not doing well uhhhhhh shes still in bed with ice

what?? what happens to us???

??????? do we die or something wtf? how would that work huh??

its over

oh god we get a trianne avatar... oh sweet baby...

this quest was like 5 hours, though i also know i end up moving pretty fast through story (like last patch which was 10 hours i did in 7 💀 so take it with a grain of salt)

[artificial-condition]

So, at the risk of sounding like an idiot, I absolutely adored System Collapse, but the one thing I don't quite understand that I feel is preventing me from fully appreciating and loving the story was the exact source of Murderbot's trauma. What was the source/meaning of his 'false' memory/dream where his leg was getting eaten? For me, it didn't seem like it was really explained (at least not very well)? And what page/chapter was it explained in, and were there any hints/symbolism given throughout the book? I just feel so stupid I missed what was probably very obvious.

Okay first of all, I am so sorry for this taking me an eternity to answer! At the best of times I take forever to do things online and I have not been having the best of times for a while now haha

I also really really wanted to reread the series before I answered this question so I could thoroughly think about it. So I did. A lot. I have lost track of how many times I have reread the series since this ask (for context, I think in the last month I've reread it three times?) (it is my coping mechanism)

My first read through of system collapse I think I felt pretty similar; it felt like it was a little out of the blue and I was wondering why secunit's last adventure in Network Effect would cause this when it's already had so many dangerous and traumatic adventures. Now that I've read it multiple times, I feel like it is because secunit finally feels relatively safe enough to process some of the stuff that it has suppressed/had forced memory deletion of

Secunit has never had a group of people that it can safely be itself around without fearing for its safety: the entire first four books consist of the arc of murderbot coming to terms with its newfound freedom and learning that some people can be trusted as friends. Secunit has somewhat settled into a routine with its new friends, being around them regularly and getting comfortable with them. When the events of Network Effect happen, murderbot has some more seriously traumatic things happen to it (thinks one of its closest friends dies, gets kidnapped and stuck on a stupid planet, thinks its new friends abandoned it, almost gets mind controlled which reminds it of a governor module, has to kill another version of itself). I think what is different this time that causes it to react differently to this trauma is that this time in the aftermath, secunit has a supportive community and has even somewhat figured out what it wants to do with its freedom. Secunit is deeply moved by having all these new people in its life all team up to rescue it when it is trapped in a worst case scenario (stuck on a hostile planet with no feed access and another being trying to become like a new governor module for it). It is in a better place than it has ever been in its life after the events of Network Effect and since it is so safe, I think it unconsciously relaxes more than it would have before and its systems take it as time to really start to process both the trauma that just occurred along with some of the repressed stuff.

I dont remember pages/chapters, but I know that Secunit mentions that the "false" memory was likely based on something that it saw happen to a client. I think the statistic it gave was that it was around 80% likely to have been based on a real memory, but it didn't actually happen to itself. It was at the point when Secunit decides to explain the redactions, I think midway through the book. I think it was supposed to feel kind of bizarre and unexpected, because secunit has never experienced anything like this before and it is deeply unsettling; it's used to being able to function and do its job under high levels of stress, so the fact that murderbot's trauma is rearing its head in this new way that prevents it from doing so is very unexpected and difficult to deal with.

I don't think that the memory was really supposed to be very specific, I think that it was confusing and upsetting, which is how murderbot experiences it. I don't remember any specific symbolism but I remember that the "false" memory seems to combine a lot of murderbot's traumas and fears, such as hostile fauna eating itself/clients and its recent trauma with TargetContact almost taking over secunit's body (like a type of consumption).

System Collapse to me was a book about murderbot struggling to accept the impacts of its trauma as well as learning that it is okay to struggle. Murderbot wants to be able to ignore the past trauma like it has always done, but it can't ignore it this time and it is impacting its job. Secunit has internalized that it is a piece of equipment that will be disposed of if not functioning optimally; even though it has made a lot of strides to recognize itself as a person, it still experiences so much self doubt and feelings of worthlessness, made worse because the problem is seemingly something it should be able to control.

We see Secunit feel these feelings and eventually realize that it has self worth that is not tied to its job in security; Secunit uses writing and storytelling to rescue people and thus finds a skill that is wholly its own, developed outside of what the company had planned for its life. Secunit can develop its own skills and isn't just good for providing security, which helps it to overturn some of those internalized feelings of worthlessness. At the end of the book, we even see it acknowledge that it might need trauma support, which is huge growth from the beginning of the book.

Anyway. I think I've gotten super off track from answering your question so I'm gonna end this rant here. I'm obsessed with these books so thanks for the prompt to talk about them!!!

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[antisocialsharky]

hey man, this has been something ive been curious abt for a while, but can someone self inflict trauma? Ik traumas the aftereffect and all but would that be possible?

I want to preface this by saying i have not been diagnosed with any pd’s or anything (as i refuse to go near anyone regarding any of that) so this is coming from pure curiosity, but would it be possibly then for that self inflicted (if actually a thing) trauma to cause a pd? or DID or the likes? This has been bothering me for a while because i doubt anything that bad has happened to me (even if i dont remember most of my childhood) aside from the things i did myself, but i show a good few symptoms of aspd though i highly doubt thats it. Am i just being delusional and pds have to stem from abuse or is there any merit to this?

Hi! Thats unfortunately a question, that I will not be able to answer with 100% certainty, as trauma is complex and what can & can't cause certain disorders is still up for debate (even in scientific circles)!

What seems to have been agreed upon, is that personality disorders are usually caused by genetics and/or adverse childhood experiences. This includes anything, that can affect the development of your personality & brain negatively. Most often, that is abuse/neglect of some kind, as children rarely have any motivations to self destruct without priorly having been subjected to that/shown that that is the thing to do to survive/meet your needs/etc.

It can however also include bullying, living in poverty, early exposure to drugs, being marginalized in some other way, etc. => cus all of that can be traumatic and can influence your development negatively!

In order for it to cause the (usually) self destructive and disabling behavioral/emotional/thought patterns that are central to personality disorders and are the core behind the personality, it is believed, that these adverse childhood experiences happen in a repeated fashion aka its usually a prolonged exposure. Tho as I said, thats just tendencies/trends that scientists have noticed in the research they've done and not a 100% factually correct answer.

Now with self inflicted trauma, it gets a little complicated, because what is actually self inflicted? Where are you actually the one inflicting the trauma on yourself and where are you just reacting destructively towards yourself due to the environment you're in/you were in before? Who or what is actually the cause of your behaviors/emotions/thoughts? => Since you didn't provide examples, I have no idea what you're referring to with "self inflicted" but it is highly unlikely, that a "healthy brain" would choose actions/situations/etc. that could be damaging to it/traumatize it, unless it has no other choice, or is already used that type of stuff. Not remembering your childhood at all, can be a redflag, tho it isn't always.

I don't know enough about DID to make a big statement there, but from what I've heard abuse of some kind usually happens in early childhood to prevent your brain from developing and fusing correctly or sum? So that seems to definitely need outward influence to develop? But don't quote me here, the cause of dissociative disorders seems to be a big discourse topic as well.

All in all, I can't tell you much, since I'm not a professional and trauma and what it causes when, is a very complex topic. Not all trauma causes PDs, some also just causes depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. Sometimes you're also perfectly fine after it, cus you're very resilient or your personality type might react in a way that doesn't fit into any category, or you may just have a similar personality to what ASPD is but in a way that doesn't fit any pathological threshold. And as I said, no idea what would classify as self inflicted or whatever, so yeah thats unfortunately something I can't help you with!

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Sokka HC’s (trauma edition)

just some stuff that I think is true abt Sokka idk

I haven’t watched ATLA in literal years so please correct me if some of my info is wrong

Some of these are probably obvious but I just wanted to give my take on them lol

Ever since the night of the fire nation raid, he’s terrified of fire and even more scared of the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash. Because although fire is what took his mother and a lot of the tribe members away, the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash reminds him of the sight he saw that night, and how he was useless to do anything about it, that now burns forever in his memory. Because while Katara is traumatized at seeing the death of Kya, Sokka is traumatized of seeing his tribe members killed and burned in front of him. He’s the kind of guy to break down after the fact of whatever just happened, so he can still fight fire nation soldiers and everything. But the minute he gets off of the battlefield and the adrenaline wears off and hes alone? He makes some excuse about “needing to plan where they’re going next in the peace and quiet because fucking toph and aang make it hard to focus with their earthbending lessons” he breaks down, sobs racking his body and an inevitable panic attack coming as he relives the worst night of his life over and over again for hours, acrid smoke and burning flesh all he’s able to smell, screams of pain and heartbreak all he’s able to hear. (when Zuko comes along it gets a little bit better because he can remind himself the Zuko is a fire bender and hes safe and warm and would never do anything to hurt me. So he just kind of melts into his best friend’s boyfriends arms and it becomes a routine for them. More on that on the zukka post i will get to writing..eventually)

He has abandonment issues because of how unexpectedly Kya died and left him to take care of Katara while she was grieving, and then Hakoda left him to take care of the entire tribe by himself. This is probably why in that one episode (i dont remember which one and im too lazy to find it) Sokka was so adamant about refusing to let Katara go and try to save Haru and his dad, because he was scared that she wouldn’t leave until she got everyone off of the ship, eventually get captured, and spend the rest of her days there, leaving him behind.

(This ones cannon I think but here’s my take on it) He has self-worth issues because of his constant expectations that have been set on him, by himself and by other people. A lot of people reading this are gonna be like well yea he had to take care of the entire tribe by himself! Which, true! Not exactly the best move Hakoda, but what’re you gonna do i guess. But i think his self-worth issues stem more from his need to be the perfect “chief”. What i mean by that is that if he’s doesn’t catch enough fish for the tribe (even if they probably have enough to survive because always working too hard) he hates himself because he isn’t doing enough and they look so skinny and its all my fault because i just can’t catch enough fish. And if the people are cold, or if they’re sick, they expect him to take care of them, but they dont see that he’s a 16 (or younger, he was acting as chief for a couple years before Aang came along i think) year old boy trying to do everything himself with no help. Every day he hears the same thing: “Sokka, we don’t have enough ______! Can you please get more?” So he never ever thinks he’s good enough no matter what he does because there’s just never enough. even if he catches 100 fish for the whole village to eat, he’ll still beat himself up about it because sure they were able to eat today, but they’re not eating enough and he still needs to get more furs for everyone because the winter is only getting colder and they’re getting sicker and they’re all going to die because he’s so useless and can’t do anything right

because of him having to do everything himself, he absolutely hates being offered help. He refuses it practically every single time, because he’s so used to people younger than him counting on him to do something, and if they’re counting on him that means that he cannot fail, and asking for help (to him) is one way of failing. If he asks for help that means he couldn’t do the one thing Hakoda asked him too. It’s super simple Sokka, just take care of the village of like 15 people. And he can’t even do that.

He’s an absolute control freak and micromanages everything, and Katara (the hypocrite, smh) hates it. He needs to be in control of everything because that means that nothing can go wrong unless he makes a mistake. (Which he knows he will make a mistake but at least its his fault and he can find a way to fix it) If he relies on other people that means they’ll make mistakes which means something that needed to get done won’t and he’ll fuck up again and he’ll be worthless, because planning and fixing and engineering and fighting is all he has, all he thinks hes good for. He would rather be solely blamed for not being good enough and screwing up than letting someone like Zuko or Katara or Aang be told that. He was never in control of the war or his mother’s death of Hakoda leaving or anything, so he find some kind of solace or coping mechanism in being able to at least control the village and having some semblance of control (idk how else to explain this! Im so sorry!)

Also because he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it right lol. He’s been taking care of the whole village for such a long time that there’s a very specific way you supposed to do this Katara! It took him such a long time to finally get a rhythm going, get used to how to take care of 15+ people at a time, so any little change to his routine pisses him off and makes him panic because he’s lost the control of the situation and now he’s in an unknown territory where he doesn’t know how to do anything which makes him a liability.

(I’ll probably continue to update this post because im probably not done, and/or make a pt 2 if y’all wanna see that. Won’t be restricted to just trauma next time!)

[geese-ball]

I still dont know who you are, I only know that I'm still lonely chap 1

ao3 chap 2

The Technodrome changed Donnie, both physically and mentally, and to ease their families worries, they decide to ask their father (Baron Draxum) to mutate them a service dog, much the same way that he made them. Shenanigans ensue.

Ever since Donatello was torn out of The Technodrome, they've been different. They blink less, they move weird (as if their body is alien to them, as if they were used to being something much bigger). They used to have to be working constantly, disliking having nothing to do, wheras now they can just sit. for hours upon hours upon hours. Its like they know something. Like The Technodrome showed them things no mortal mind should ever see.

Of course this could all be chalked up to the mental and physical trauma they underwent that night, but Donnie's family knows better. They've seen how donnie responds to trauma, and this is different.

It affected them physically, too. Because The Technodrome's tentacles were attached to Donnies spinal chord, when they were ripped apart, it was damaged. And now Donnie's legs were... less reliable than before. They still worked, just not very well, and they struggled to support themself enough to stand, nevermind walk or do anything else they used to.

Of course, Donnie being Donnie, they just carried on as usual, using their tech arms instead of their legs, and building themself a very cool high tech (weaponised) wheelchair suited specifically for their needs.

But with their family and friends worrying so much about their well-being, they decided to do something to put their minds at ease; they were going to get a service dog!

But not just any service dog, they were getting one custom mutated by their father, Baron Draxum. Well, if they can get him to agree to it.

Thankfully, they had the wonderful Michaelangelo on their side, and who can say no to that face?

Today, Donnie was at Draxum's to finish work on the lab, which had been going on for almost a year at this point and they ere both very relieved that it was finally almost over. So when they were finished, Donnie decided to ask before they could overthink it and back out.

"Father?" they stopped long enough to know that he was listening, "I have a request," At this, Draxum tried to say something, but was quickly cut off, "And before i state my request, please remember that you tried to kill slash kidnap us multiple times and threw my twin off of a roof."

Donnie had never been good at reading people, but they couldve sworn they saw Draxum look guilty for a split second.

"I require a service dog. But I dont typically care for canines as they are far too needy and touchy and whiny and syliva-y. Therefore I am going to request you mutate one for my specific needs. Also just an FYI, Mikey also wants this and will be really really sad if you say no (two reallys)." They wheeled back and forth lightly, just to do something with their hands in the deafening silence that seemed to last simultaneously an eternity and no time at all.

"Alright."

"what?"

"I said alright, would tou like to start working on the design now, or schedule a better time?" Donnie blinked. This should not have been that easy.

"Um, yeah, now is– now's fine", Donnie confirmed, their monotonus voice and blank face hiding the words' stunning effect.

Draxum nodded and started to walk towards his newly fixed lab, expecting Don to follow. Which, after a split second, the shock wore off, and they did.

After working with Draxum for a while, Dee discovered that they could customise a lot more than they had previously thought.

Of course there was the obvious, like the base breed, and which senses to heighten, but they could also choose its colours and, to an extent, mystic abilities.

Their father assured them that it would come fully trained and ready for service. As much as they loathed to admit it, Donnie had long since given up on questioning mystics, so did not comment on this.

After a while of designing the dog, it started to feel more real, and Donnie progressively got more excited, which was incredibly unexpected, and they started to move more to het it out, wheeling in place and drumming their fingers on any available surface.

In a surprisingly short amount of time, Donnie had finished, and was to leave Draxum to work.

They had decided on a large husky base (purple obviously), with similar markings to Donnie, just lighter (and pinker) than her regular fur. She had A lot of eyes, solid bright green with regular dog-like pupils – though she had a third eyelid which aided in darkvision. With razor sharp teeth and claws to match Donnie's own. She can also change size at will, to fit in donnies pocket or carry them around.

Donnie placed their hands on their wheels, about to leave, as Draxun called them back once more. "Do you have a name in mind, or should I use a placeholder?"

Donnie took a second to reply, because it only takes a second for a dumb idea to latch onto their brain and refuse to let go. "Missile Launcher."

Their father took a second to process this. "Are you certian this is the name you would like to give it? You can wait."

But Donnie had decided, and would not be budging on this particular naming choice any time soon.

"Missile Launcher. That is her name, I will not be changing it.", donnie replied, giggling with anticipation, before quickly adding on, "Evil laugh."

The alchemist sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before straightening up again, "Very well then, you can leave now, off you pop."

Donnie chuckled slightly at the wording, but quickly obliged. "Okay bye Dad! Thank you! I love you!" They quickly shouted back, mind too preoccupied with pure excitement and what to tell their siblings when they got home to process the words.

~~~~~

"Brethren." Donnie greets coolly as they enter the living room, "The reconstruction of father's lab is finished and also he agreed to make me a service dog. Probably because im the coolest, smartest, most favoriteist child, N.B.D." They announced, smoothly transferring themself onto their beanbag and pulling their phone out and waiting expectantly.

"OHMIGOSH DEE THIS IS HUGE!!!!", Mikey immediately jumped up and started jumping in place, and swaying side to side slightly.

"Right? I have named her Missile Launcher and she will be my colours and will be made to help me specifically. This is So Cool!" Donnie drops their phone and flaps their hands next to their chest.

"Dude this is incredible, and I am not usually one to encourage your rants, but... tell us everything" Leo settles behind his twin, wrapping his arms around their shoulders tightly and squeezing, proudly showing off his 'twin privileges' as he and Don had dubbed them years ago.

"Way to go Donna!" Raph held out a fist, which Donnie gleefully bumped.

"As much as i would adore to talk your metaphorical ears off right now, dearest siblings, I will wait for dinner as to not repeat myself." They explained with an uncharacteristic ammount of self restraint.

So the siblings sat and talked or in comfortable silence for a while until Mikey went to make dinner, insisting that he would do it himself when the others offered to help.

A little before dinner time, April burst through the entrance of the lair with her signature battle cry of "APRIL O'NEIL!!" and was only greeted by Raph, and she soon found out why when she heard Donnie's shout of "I swear to Pizza Supreme, Nardo if you touch my controller..."

Followed by Leo's "...boop." and a loud smacking sound not a second after. As soon as she walked into the living room and nade her presence known, however, the twins immediately ceased their petty slap fight to greet her and tell her how much they missed her. Donnie, of course, in a far less noticable way, though just as meaningful. "Hey guys! Mikey in the kitchen?" At that moment, they decided that they had left Mikey at peace long enough, and collectively decided to go and bother him.

"Ooh smells great!" April complimented the moment she was within Mikey's earshot.

"Hiya April! Thanks, Im almost done! Could you guys set the table for me please-and-thankyou!!"

And of course, they did as they were told, Leo on placemat duty, donnie grabbing the plates and bowls since they could reach easily, Raph getting silverware, and April sorting out drinks. Only it wasnt quite as functional as it should've been.

Though their dining room (modified kitchen island) was large enough to comfortably fit all of them, having to move around it was another thing. Donnie used their tech arms to lift themself above it, olacing the plates wherever Leo used his 'rad skillz' to throw the placemats, with Raph attempting to get around fast enough to keep up with the cutlery without knocking anything (or anyone) over. April had the easiest job, pouring drinks away from the chaos, and then, with her incredible wairessing skills she gained from working in a cafe one summer, carrying them all over at once and putting them in their correct positions.

Practically the moment they finished, Mikey announced that dinner was ready and Splinter came into the room. It took a while for everyone to get into their designated seats, and make sure food was portioned out correctly.

But when it was, they all ate, complimenting Mikey's incredible cookery the whole time. But Donnie had but one thing on their mind.

"'Pril, Papa," they got their attention, "You are aware that father and I finished work on his lab today, correct?" They nodded, "So he can finally start working on projects again. And as we discussed, i requested he mutate me a service dog. Well, surprisingly, he agreed, and will start work on her imminently." They didnt bother to hose the genuine grin that spread accross their face, displaying their large, pointy teeth in a strange show of happiness.

"Dee!" April reached across the small table and squeezed one of their hands in her own, nonverbally conveying her excitement for them, much in the same way Raph did. They squeezed back.

"Well done Purple, I am very proud of you." Hearing this not only from a parent-aged adult, but his dearest papa made Donnie's tail wag so hard it audibly hit Leo's thigh, and sent the entire family into a fit of laughter.

"So, you wanna tell us about her?" April prompted after the laughter died down.

"But of course, dear sister. As many of you know, I have decided to name her Missile Launcher – Missy for short – and she will be based on a large husky, with a dark violet coat and very similar markins to my own in a more magenta colour. She will have many bright green eyes with third eyelids to aid in dark vision. She will, of course, have very sharp teeth, and retractable claws. She can change size to aid in mobility slash balance, act as a weighted blanket or lap pad, and be carried around for easy transport. She will be fully trained because mystics and will act as a pet as well as a service animal. Any questions?"

It was pretty much unanimously agreed that Donnie had covered everything, so they began to pack up and clean.

"Well would you look at the time, I have to go pick up Shelldon & Jr. from Todd's! Guess I'll see you guys later!" Donnie exclaimed as they left the lair, much to the others' chagrin. But they really did have to!

chap 2

reblogs > likes

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

Hey! I love your Beetlejuice stories on A03, all of them are wonderful. Do you have any tips on writing the Maitlands? You write them so well, keeping them sweet while giving them depth.

you're so sweet! this got super long so its under a cut. please keep in mind that these are my interpretations of canon and you might disagree and that's totally fine!

Lemme break these into specifics for each one cause while theyre a matching set and should not be separated they're also pretty different! Barbara- the more out going one between the two of them, more willing to jump into new situations. i think of her as someone adam can lean on, and because of that their marriage is a little non traditional, despite what beej might say, since she's the one more likely to do things that scare her and sort of lead the two of them. barbara should be sweet, empathetic, and very patient, but also willing to put her foot down when it matters. she's a doormat no more. between the two of them, she's the one more interested in arts. while she might not like making pottery i think she's the more creative one - she apparently also started and gave up oil painting (the painting she smashes) i read her as someone who comes from religious trauma but that also might just be me putting my own baggage on her. she just feels like someone who would/could have been more outgoing if she hadnt been raised in a very traditional way, where women are a step below their husbands. i dont think that believe holds true in her marriage obviously but it's engrained to some degree that she needs to behave like the perfect wife/mother. this could also be part of where her anxiety about being a mother stems from (this part obviously is VERY personal to me and her character may not read that way to you, i acknowledge this i headcannon territory here) she's also willing to push adam into things that make him nervous, because she does want her husband to stand up for her. (that moment when beej is having his soliloquy, if you watch her she's arguing with adam and telling him to say something to beetlejuice, and that's the reason why adam interrupts him) in general i think she finds things that are odd and unusual to be more funny and interesting than scary - her laughing at beetlejuice's antics in the attic a lot come to mind. Adam - the more shy one. adam is someone who i read as having a fairly heavy degree of social anxiety (there are strangers downstairs! i didn't like strangers when i was alive-) and because of that he tends to overthink and be in his own head too much. adam's fatal flaw might be that he wants to sit down and puzzle through things instead of reacting. while it's good to keep a clear head sometimes you do need to react in the moment and stand up for yourself (which he learns by the end! go adam!!!) adam loves working with his hands. while barbara creates, adam maintains. he restores furniture and does woodworking. i do like to mix movie adam with musical adam a bit, because in the movie adam owns a hardware shop, and i think that vibe also fits musical adam as well. adam leans on barbara a lot - when beej is asking them to hire him, he looks helplessly to barbara, and he's always willing to follow her lead. in a sense she wears the pants, but it doesn't read as emasculating to me - barb's strength is leading and adam's is supporting. does not like to yell or wish people unwell. THAT GUY!! NEEDS!! therapy, i hope he gets the help he needs :( to me this, combined with him honestly thinking beej might be his dad for a moment, reads as someone who had a very turbulent early childhood. a negligent or possibly abusive father who disappeared early enough in his life that adam doesn't remember his face. maybe he doesnt like to yell because that's what his own father did, and he doesnt want to be like his dad. he wants to be better than that. his not knowing his father could also lead into his fear of becoming one - he didn't have a strong father figure growing up, and he's never had that behavior modeled for him

The Maitlands as one - they should be like two halves of a whole. barb might lead, but she never steps on adam. adam might support, but his own impute is never stifled. barbara will encourage adam to be more brave and outgoing. adam will help barbara keep her temper or talk through things that frustrate her. they're so in love it's kinda gross.

[xamaxenta]

Had this AU idea for saboace where Ace survives just barely but thanks to the news everyone thinks he's dead still cuz there's a brutal picture of his body bloodied and unconscious on the front page and he does look low-key dead so he has to disguise himself somehow and hide while simultaneously training up his haki (cuz I don't think he really did much with his haki, I think he had it but didn't like using it and refused to train it up, I headcanon that he did this on purpose to spite Roger who also had haki, honestly I refuse to believe Ace wouldn't have been dozens of times stronger if his haki had been properly evolved. Though he absolutely has all forms of haki already awakened cuz he's just that much of a badass, anyway).

The only place they can think of to hide him is right under everyone's noses, so he somehow wiggles his way into the revolutionary army. He's not too happy with it cuz he's got beef with Dragon (hey whyd you abandon luffy) and Dragon I think knows it's him despite the disguise but says nothing cuz that's none of his business (Kermit meme here) and since it was announced Ace was fully dead Sabo regained his memories and already had that super fun nervous breakdown and three day coma and is NotDoingWell™ and Dragon is a Dad so he's like "imma push these two together and hope they realize the connection, surely my Chief of Staff is smart enough to recognize who this is" but he underestimates Sabo’s Spicy Trauma cuz he does not realize.

And Ace knows it's Sabo but he's told by a few of the other revolutionaries that Sabo still has amnesia (yeah man he can't remember shit from his childhood from what I've heard), bummer he's only heard it from random footsoldiers and not those closest to Sabo but it's fine I'm sure. So Ace is like "oh I may fuck him up more if I fling my disguise off and tell him we know each other so imma just be quiet" and Sabo is like "wow I let my bro and first ever friend and high key love of my life get murdered I wish I was dead:)" and Dragon is like "guys plz just kiss".

Anyway I'm writing this fic but it's been a hot minute since I worked on it, I thought you'd enjoy hearing about the chaos that will ensue.

Anonnnnnn pleaseee *grabbie paws* gimmieeee i love this premise so much

Dragon doing the Kermit none of my business tea sip meme is so fucking funny i really should draw a bunch of classic memes as random OP characters bc its tragic that there isnt more maybe eight ? I love distracting myself from the projects i should be working on HAHA demon standees marcos bday whats that oops

Ace knowing its Sabo is sooo good but hes so sweet hes like i cant just reveal myself!!! Itll fuck him up, maybe he’s gonna hate me!!

Dragon watching their bs like gods help theyre both stupid

Snickering if its just a random guy Sabo overhears saying that xyz ‘insert Ace’s fake name’ is actually thee portgas d ace and Sabos like WHat DONT JOKE ABOUT THAT!!!! And thag rando is sweating like omg chief no harm no jest i swear its true

But when Sabo goes to ask Ace Ace looks to the side and hes like haha… no?

😭

[petorahs]

☀️ its fascinating that you say P3 has shaped your worldview because... Well not to trauma dump here but back then when I discovered the game (it was back then when p4 was already out) i was... In a REALLY bad place and wondering about unaliving myself. I wont go into much detail but kids are trash man and teens are even worse. and then this game came around. With an aesthetic I really liked. i am not a native english speaker so it was hard for me at first but somehow this game just... /spoke to me/. A game about life and death and what it means to be alive and what it means to have a REASON to live, somehow... Convinced me to go a bit longer. I mean it when I say this: Persona 3 saved my life. And no other game can ever come close to such an experience. (Even tho from a quality standpoint P5 certainly is up there)

oh dude that is so valid thank you for sharing this. seriously though, im happy that youre here! and im sure many others are too! the ☀️ brightening lives and all that :]

yea i can see why p3 just clicked with so many people since it first came out. i was always curious on why it's so beloved by fans, when p5 and even p4 are literally right there with their overall better gameplay experiences. p5 literally got the franchise mainstream to insane heights lol. im... so glad i got into persona the way i did. of course, everyone's experiences w these games are different and special to them in their own way.

i got into persona 3 as an adult and as a result the lens in which i viewed the story's themes were heightened, in a way. as a teen i just know i would have reacted more volatilely i struggle to think about it LOL but both experiences would still be pretty intense. it's just that, as an adult there's more room to digest it when im not troubled by algebra hw. i was just more equipped for it (also i played omori two summers ago LMAOO). ofc i only turned 20 a few weeks ago LOL but i get why p3 means so much to people.

because it's like... 2000s nostalgia coupled with a game that figuratively holds your hand through the uncertainty of death yknow? p3 is a friend, basically. its entire thesis is based upon companionship (exactly what i highlight in an analysis i have drafted somewhere but HHH i dont want this to get too long lmao)

in the shaping my worldviews thing... its really more like it cemented my 'philosophies' :] like i said, equipped with the stuff i learned before, p3 having the message that it did just... hit super close to home! like yeah! that's what i've been saying dude!! kindness really is enough!!

"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life... Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of."

LIKE YEA GIRL THATS EXACTLY IT!! its so cool! i actually admire people who grew up with p3 because man if i heard this line ages ago... well, again, idk if i would be able to grasp it fully at the time... but still! this is so good, poetry in motion. and like u said its aesthetics are gorgeous and aim to capture the essence of its themes - and it did.

im a p5 baby like bro i love p5. soft spot for it. thats the closest persona game i "grew up" with and it came at such an opportune time for me, being a teen stuck between a rock and a hard place. typical. and p5 validated my teenage angst bs so much. its so refreshing to see a game's theme being rebellion. that was me i thought. those characters are going through something that similarly happened to me. teenage rebellion is such a fun thing to explore!

so p5 validated my struggles while p3 did something deeper than that, somehow. i think it just made me .. stronger? like it made me move on from struggles. "by remembering death you learn how to live" so... i guess p3 taught me how to live as crazy as that sounds. but you get me

persona 5 overall is great -- everyone agrees, like its objectively just a better game. but persona 3 ends up more beloved because of its subjective value as a piece of art. there's a lot of heart and soul to put into it.

it's more simple when compared to p5 at first glance, but simple doesn't mean less. which is why more people experiencing it will be nice to see