#also. they act like neglect is the only way parents can hurt you

[enigma-the-anomaly]

like sorry I didn’t realize my life needed to have a degree of horribleness to justify posting my frustrations in the vent channel

[writingwithcolor]

Desi Parenthood, Adoption, and Stereotypes

I have a story set in the modern day with supernatural traces, with three characters: a young boy, his bio dad, and his adoptive dad. The boy and his bio dad are Indian, the adoptive dad is Chinese. The bio dad is one of the few people in the story with powers. He put his son up for adoption when he was a child because at the time he was a young single father, had little control of the strength of his powers: he feared accidentally hurting his child. The son is adopted by the other dad, who holds spite to the bio dad for giving up his son since he lost his father as a young age and couldn't get why someone would willingly abandon their child. This also results in him being overprotective and strict over his son. When the child is older, the bio dad comes to their town and the son gets closer to him, which makes the adoptive dad pissed, mostly acting hostile to the other guy, paranoid that he'll decide to take away the child he didn't help raise. Later when they get closer he does change his biases. I can see the possible stereotypes here: the absent father being the darkskinned character, the light-skinned adoptive dad being richer than the bio dad, the lightskinned character being hostile and looking down on the darkskinned character, the overprotective asian parent, the adoptive dad assuming the bio dad abandoned the son. The reason for his bias isn't inherently racist, but I get how it can be seen that way. Is there a way to make this work? Would it be better to scrap it?

Two problem areas stand out with this ask: 

You seem confused with respect to how racial stereotypes are created, and what effect they have on society.

Your characterization of the Indian father suggests a lack of familiarity with many desi cultures as they pertain to family and child-rearing.

Racial Stereotypes are Specific

Your concern seems to stem from believing the absent father trope is applied to all dark-skinned individuals, when it’s really only applied to a subset of dark-skinned people for specific historical/ social/ political reasons. The reality is stereotypes are often targeted.

The “absent father” stereotype is often applied to Black fathers, particularly in countries where chattel slavery or colonialism meant that many Black fathers were separated from their children, often by force. The "absent black father" trope today serves to enforce anti-black notions of Black men as anti-social, neglectful of their responsibilities, not nurturing, etc. Please see the WWC tag #absent black father for further reading. 

Now, it’s true many desis have dark skin. There are also Black desis. I would go as far as to say despite anti-black bias and colorism in many desi cultures, if one was asked to tell many non-Black desis from places like S. India and Sri Lanka apart from Black people from places like E. Africa, the rate of failure would be quite high. However, negative stereotypes for desi fathers are not the same as negative stereotypes for non-desi Black fathers, because racially, most Black people and desis are often not perceived as being part of the same racial group by other racial groups, particularly white majorities in Western countries. Negative stereotypes for desi fathers are often things like: uncaring, socially regressive/ conservative, sexist. They are more focused around narratives that portray these men as at odds with Western culture and Western norms of parenting. 

Desi Parents are Not this Way

Secondly, the setup makes little sense given how actual desi families tend to operate when one or both parents are unable to be present for whatever reason. Children are often sent to be raised by grandparents, available relatives or boarding schools (Family resources permitting). Having children be raised by an outsider is a move of last resort. You make no mention of why your protagonist’s father didn’t choose such an option. The trope of many desi family networks being incredibly large is not unfounded. Why was extended family not an option?

These two points trouble me because you have told us you are writing a story involving relationship dynamics between characters of both different races and ethnicities. I’m worried you don’t know enough about the groups you are writing about, how they are perceived by each other and society at large in order to tell the story you want to tell.

As with many instances of writing with color, your problem is not an issue of scrap versus don’t scrap. It’s being cognizant of the current limits of your knowledge. How you address this knowledge deficit and its effect on your interpretation of your characters and the story overall will determine if readers from the portrayed groups find the story compelling.

- Marika.

I have one response: what? Where are the father’s parents? Any siblings? Is he cut off? Is he American? A Desi that has stayed in India? 

Estrangement is not completely out of the question if the father is Westernized; goodness knows that I have personal experience with seeing estrangement. But you haven’t established any of that. What will you add?

-Jaya

[yoru-no-seiiki]

VILLAIN! READER WITH A YAN! MASOCHISTIC! PROTAGONIST

tw/cw: DDNE, mentions of abuse, actual abuse (by reader), implied parental neglect. protagonist’s gender is whatever you want it to be. gn pronouns.

[ second part ]

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI OR I WILL BLOCK YOU.

You wholeheartedly believed that you’d rule the world one day. The oracles deemed it so, and the rest followed. The only problem being is that you’d rule with an iron fist, causing the death of millions under your tyrannical reign. Many opposed your position as heir to the throne.

In comes the protagonist, your adopted sibling who is also destined for great things. The difference being is that they’ll gain it through defeating you.

Everyday is a murderfest with you trying to kill the kid but because of plot armor they’re resistant to any and all sorts of spells, weapons and even people you’ve hired.

Yan! Protagonist who had been abused their entire life saw this as just an act of love. Even moreso since you were so determined to hurt them everyday. It must mean you adored them does it not? They don’t understand why they’re not able to die or properly get hurt by you though, so at times they’ll even try to get in your way to make it easier.

But this just ends up with you hating them further and further.

As the two of you grow up, tactics start to become even more underhanded and deadly. You had lost all sense of empathy and kindness at this point. You had also halted trying to hide your attempts as your sibling clearly knew of it anyways.

But with your duties increasing as well, you are unable to execute much of your assassination attempts much less see your sibling directly. It came to the point of dull poisoning plots of which Yan! Protagonist had literally gained an immunity to with how frequent it was.

Yan! Protagonist never wanted to become ruler. A kingdom was far too much to manage and think about. All they wanted was to relax and be with you.

But with you being all busy and ignoring them. . . they simply can not stand idle and let this be!

And so they throw themselves into their studies. Those that doubted the Protagonist are now in awe of the way they picked up things in addition to their overflowing determination. They must really want to take you down.

Unbeknownst to them, they were simply doing this so you’d go back to giving them your attention.

Years after you’d officially taken the throne, they barged into castle. Thousands of troops behind them as they declared,

—

“Exalted sibling, I’ve come to take the burden of the throne from your hands!” The protagonist stood before you in all their glory. Magnificent as the scriptures had foretold. Absolutely befitting for the next in line for the throne. Blessed with a face sculpted by the gods.

You wanted nothing more rip it from their skull and watch the blood rain down on their regal clothing.

“You’ll have to take it from my cold, dead body.”

The protagonist froze in their tracks. Your words and pure confusion taking a while to settle in.

Wait, what?

. . . to be continued

Anyways that’s just a smol part from one of my webtoon ideas i’ve been writing haha. It probably won’t be expanded on until I officially published that one and it’s like further down the list of webtoon order so oop-

©️ yoru.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

[velvetvexations]

Can confirm I've been on here for years now and before Gamer Gate and then the rebirth of Terfism happened the widely accepted feminist talking point was that men suffer under the patriarchy and how we need to talk about that because one of the fastest ways to get cis men on our side was to show them we were already on their side!

I remeber posts with hundreds of thousands of notes talking about how men are assumed to be worse caregivers than women to the point that in custody battles even if the mother is beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst abusive mess ever and the dad is the embodiment of a perfect parent the kids will end up with the mom. It doesn't even matter if the dad says he wants the kids and the mom says she doesn't, the women still gets assumed to be the better caretaker!! This is misogyny effecting men!!

And I know MRAs are terrible but I remember a video going around talking about their recruitment points, like how more men die doing dangerous jobs and the draft or men getting no help when they've been abused by women and being assumed to be violent predators even when they haven't done anything and like yeah, they 100% came to the wrong conclusions about what causes the problems and what the solutions are bcs it's easier to act like women are the problem, but those problems as they were introduced in the early 2010s were actual problems feminism is trying to address, and if these men could see that we are fighting the same fights and join US we'd be stronger. There was a prominent internet feminist who got full on red pilled just by listening to men tell her about their real actual problems, and the time they pulled the rug out on blaming women it was too late, she was convinced, because yeah women aren't the real problem at the root of men's issues they do HAVE ISSUES. The trick is that they just need to tackle the patriarchy, not women. I also saw stuff that legit talked about how to recruit men by pointing out how badly the patriarchy "serves" them!! (GamerGate quickly ruined any and all salient points that existed in the MRA movement bcs the internet is a feedback loop and anger is easy/fun sadly but yeah I feel like it's weird to act like they were always wrong no matter what when they at least did point out real problems.)

And like RBG partially made her name in the courts defending a CIS MAN on the basis that he was being discriminated in a way a CIS WOMAN would not have been, and the ruling allowed for insane amounts of progress for women. A man not being allowed a tax credit to hire a nurse for his bedridden mother is one of the first things that challenged discrimination on the basis of sex in America. But sure men ONLY gain benefits from the patriarchy. It NEVER hurts them too!! And helping them won't benefit us!!! Making them our allies is silly they should all shut up 🙄

Hell back in the 2010s I still remember seeing trans men talk about how horrible and alienating it was for all of their female friends and family to suddenly start acting like they were a threat, and not just pointing out the inherent transphobia, the guy went on to talk about that they finally get why cis men are the way they are, they suffer from systemic emotional neglect. And yeah that obviously does not mean women owe them emotional avaliablity and sex, but maybe the patriarchy telling men to be big tuff guys who never hug or cry or like anything even a little girly HURTS THEM and is a direct cause of a LOT of the problems we're dealing with rn!!! There was a whole study about how widows tend to live a lot longer after their husbands because they have friends and family to lean on and weren't taught to suppress their emotions, meanwhile widowers tend to die VERY quickly after their wives because they no longer have someone who it's okay for them to be open and emotional around, and not having someone you can do that with KILLS PEOPLE. People were saying again, this does not mean women HAVE to take on all their problems, but maybe that we need to stop assuming men don't need emotional support and teach our sons to not be afraid of being ulnerable, honest people because systemic emotional neglect IS BAD FOR YOU ACTUALLY.

These were ACTUAL conversations that swept this damn site. This was the direction feminism was going in. We were on the cusp of a beautiful age of 4th wave feminism with the knowledge that the patriarchy seves no one well and free the nipple and no gender segregated bathrooms and sports, and now just pointing out that we need to maybe understand the ways men struggle under the patriarchy if we've ever going to have them join and help us build a better world gets my inbox flooded with both terfs and so called progressive feminists calling me a gender traitor for being willing to admit men arent the source of all the world's ills and WE NEED THEM ON OUR FUCKING SIDE. I used to proudly call myself a 4th wave feminist back when people still claimed to be of the 3rd, and now idk what I even am. A bell hooks and leslie finberg feminist I guess, since they actually seemed to get it.

Yeesh. Anyway sorry that got heated. This has just ruined my brain. I do not understand where tf we went wrong, bcs hell back in the day we also pointed out how TERFs were wrong to want men and people they perceive as men and those "tainted" by men put to death for existing so they could build their stupid white supremacist wombyn utopia. We KNEW hating men just for being men was wrong and regressive and hurt maringalized men and did NOTHONG to push feminism forward. We talked about the issues that men face and how to raise our sons to be better. But idk I guess Gamer Gate and the Incel movement took off right as TREFs figured out the whole ace and truscum discourse thing wasn't working and they just needed to doctor their arguments against men better and radical feminism took off and this entire site regressed 1000 years and thinks trans men of all people are just as bad as cis men and trans women have a monopoly on an entire axis of oppression like?????

And I'm not putting the blame squarely on anyone aside from the radfems who started this shit but it does NOT surprise me that we are seeing a massive resurgence of biphobic, transmedicalism, and aphobia since half the queer discourse I see these days is anti-transandrophpbia assholes just word for word repeating the kind of blatant aphobia and truscumery that would have gotten you suplexed off the face of the earth in the 2010s with the identities swapped. Just word for word monosexist aphobic shit. Legit is giving me flashbacks, it's insane.

I have never in my life been more disappointed in my community of queer feminists. This is masks all over again. Like is this how kids who grew up evangelical feel when they realized actually the adults didn't mean literally love all your neighbors silly just the Correct ones?? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. What the hell happened to us.

Thank you for writing all this anon, you put enough work in it I'm gonna toss it in the tags, I think it deserves to be seen. <3

The problem with MRAs was never that they believed men had problems too, but that they used certain things - like their disadvantage in custody hearings, for instance - as a cudgel in a malicious crusade against a target they hated anyway for not fucking them. Now with as quick as people are to say things like "what, are you saying androphobia exists too?????" it feels as though we've completely forgotten the actual reason we ever hated MRAs to begin with.

It's the same with the dating article where the most basic possible interactions between two adults mutually seeking a hook-up were taken to be pick-up artistry.

[marymary-diva17]

Ok so

We know the typical reader being hated by the sullys, and in this request she's neteyam's twin sister but looks sky people or whatever, Jake cares more about her siblings more than her and neytiri is basically blind to all the hate reader gets from the clan and neglect from her dad and siblings, and her dad making go on missions even though she's scared of sky people, buuuuttt.......plot twist, reader gets tired do she trains in the forest alone, spying on sky people way of fighting to play fire with fire, she becomes buff and tall with scars since she decided to live in the middle of the forest in the most forbidden place of it, where no na'vi survived except her apparently, and because of that she deals and hunts bigger, stronger and faster predators than the normal ones, and sooo, she has better reflex and hates the family except neytiri cause she's her mama and tuk because she's too young to comprehend what's going on. She does visit spider once in a while but never reveals where she lives, appearing as an unknown warrior only when the raids are happening and then disappearing in the shadows, hell not even Kiri with her Pandora Jesus powers can track her

You can take something off if you want and the rest you can choose what you want to do

sully family x daughter/sister reader

Ewya blessed child

part 2

When neytiri and Jake had found out they were going to be parents they were overjoyed with the new, it had been one of the many good news to come since the end of the war between the navi and RDA. Twins will soon enter this world and join the omatacayia clan, their son neteyam was born first his birth had brought everyone great joy then there was his sister you. Your birth was seen as a bad omen to many has you had inherited your father human DNA born with five finger and toes and different shade of blue and different markings then everyone else. Even your hair was seen as something horrible it was white color very know to the navi, you were seen as demon child. She was also seen as the failure as well she was no like other navi child, and never seem to fit in with her clan or even her own family.

Y/n " dad I'm ......"

Jake " young lady I'm not going over this again with you" once again you are in trouble with you dad, training classes had happened and your had completely failed tsu'tey the mentor had brought you to Jake. As all the other mentor had competely giving up on your and deemed your a failure.

netyeam " dad she getting good it not easy for everyone"

Jake " stay out of this son I'm speaking to your sister she need to take accountability"

lo'ak " well dad if you most know there are others to blame for this, the blame is not all her"

Jake " I said enough you two now stop"

y/n " dad I have been trying my best to get better in class but I don't think I'm the warrior type"

Jake " don't pull this stunt on me young lady all the other kids can do combat but you, even te children younger then you can do better"

y/n " dad I'm sorry but I don't think I have it in me for war or to hurt others, I'm scared of going to battle I'm scared dad" you are scared of going to battle as you didn't wish to kill anyone. You wish to study some of these new humans which was not liked by anyone. You always seem to do things in a way that your understood but was not the navi way.

tsu'tey " brother she can't keep up with the other trainees if this keeps up she will be holding back everyone"

y/n " I didn't mean for that to happen I can get better"

Jake " you always say that you don't mean it or to now look what is happing no one else will wish to teach you"

Jake " that times I'm cleaning up your mess and speaking to others because you means we lost more of our people and home, all of this because you are scared ... stop being childish and selfish y/n and act your age because you selfish ways are causing this all"

y/n " I'm sorry dad I not mean anything of this I don't wish to be selfish"

Jake " I don't have the this I'm the leader I have our people and your brothers training to deal with neteyam has to be ready you are wasting my time and his"

y/n " what about mom I can help her maybe I can prove my self there and maybe grandma as well"

Jake " she busy with your baby sister tuk still a child and needs all her attention, and she has her stuff to deal with and your other siblings"

Jake " leave mo'at out of this matter she has your sisters to take after you she doesn't need you"

y/n " well maybe I can help your or the humans I can be helpful dad, give me a chance I know I have mess up but maybe if you hear me out"

Jake " I don't have time for now just go elsewhere and stay away from the warriors and everyone until future notice once again, I will be apologizing for you mistakes"

y/n " I can go say sorry to the class and my mentors"

Jake " just stopp y/n you have done enough today just go else" you said nothing else everyone knew your dad loves your sibling more, then you because when they messed up it was okay but when you messed up it was bad. He will defend them more than he will defend you and that was true.

y/n " yes sir" you soon walked away it seems like everyone was listening to the conversation, you soon reached your mom and sister as they sat outside of the home with, some other mother and children by them having a good time.

y/n " hey"

tuk " sis you are home"

y/n " yes lesson got done early"

kiri " did they or did you mess up again come on sister you have to start thinking more, before you act"

y/n " I did my best"

y/n " umm can I help you all with the weaving I got better" neytiri and kiri looked at each other and soon looked at you.

kiri " sister I and mom have been working on this for months and we have to make sure the style stays good, and it and project me and mom have been trying to keep a secret for dad"

y/n " oh what is it for"

neytiri " a gift for you father is has all the families ikran on it"

tuk " all but mine"

kiri " hush once you get your ikran we will add it" you were looking over the project it had everything special about everyone, in the family well expect you.

y/n "I think you are all missing something"

kiri " no we are not everything on there"

y/n " no you are missing...." you had taken a step not trying to ruin anything but there was soon a loud rip sound.

kiri " no y/n " you soon looked down to see the image of your parents and family had been ripped in half.

y/n " I'm sorry I was making sure I didn't step on anything wrong, here I can help" you had moved out of the way trying to clean up the mess you had made accidentally, but tuk and some other kids were running around not paying attention and trip over you bow that you placed away safely, but one kid had tossed it down hoping to win the game but it was seen like you had done it. sending them falling into the ground, hurting themselves as cries let out.

neytiri " tuk"

y/n " oh tuk I'm so sorry I didn't see you"

neytiri " enough"

y/n " here let me help I can take tuk and take care of her"

kiri " enough sister please move ... move I need to attend to our sister you had hurt while not looking where you are going"

y/n " umm sure is there anything I can do"

kiri " no juts stop"

y/n " tuk I'm sorry so sorry"

tuk " it hurts"

y/n " oh tuk I'm so sorry when you are better I will make it up to you, hey hey don't we go for flight or you can have my desert at dinner"

tuk " can a hug help"

y/n " oh tuk"

neytiri " just leave you sister alone just go away for a bit, we can deal with her"

y/n " okay mom is there anything I can do while I'm gone I can get dinner or collect new materials for the project anything name it"

neytiri " become a better daughter and sister, and one of the people" you looked at you mom hurt and it seems like your sister heard it as well, but soon went back to attend to tuk who was still hurt because of you.

navi mother " you have no shame ruining your mom and sister work and not hurting children even your own sister"

y/n " I didn't mean to if there anything I can do"

neytiri " just go away y/n please just leave and don't come back" neytiri was now looking at you in the eyes and she was mad, it seems like she didn't see you as her daughter anymore. You didn't say anything else as you soon left, feeling all eyes on you getting dirty looks from the mothers and their kids. Once you were out of the view of the clan you soon started running as fast and far you legs can take you. You kept on running until you could no longer run anymore feeling the pain in your legs and feet.

y/n " I'm even a failure to my family" you didn't know where you ran to but you just wish to sit down and relax.

y/n " I can't be a warrior like the rest of my family and I will never be a healer like kiri ... I always mess up and can never do everything everyone else wants me to do it like .... I'm no true navi I'm a demon in false body"

y/n " even I'm bring my sibling into this when it not their problem"

y/n " now because of me we are losing this warrior and more lives will be lost, and now I rude dad gift he would of like so much I rude everything .... I'm selfish and childlish as well" tears were falling down your face as your felt like a complete failure as daughter, sister, and navi altogether. You even thought the human hate you as well as they will rush away and cover stuff when you came by, you were unwanted by everyone. expect your sibling, your grandmother, and spider they always love you and wanted to spend time with you.

y/n " I just wanted to be helpful and keep everyone alive and well" you soon felt something touch your forehead. You soon open your eyes to see a wood spirt you had gotten up and look at it.

y/n " hello little one are you lost" you reach out your hand as the spirt start floating over it making you laugh and smile, soon more spirts had shown up getting your attention.

y/n " well it look like you are not alone" the wood spirt had float down towards your feet and start making it way up, soon followed by other doing the same as well as the other float around you. A smile had grown on your face as this happen it was so beautiful and wonderful.

y/n " huh" it seems like the woods spirt were leading you towards something so you decide to follow them, going deep and deeper into the forest until you reached a grand spitter tree.

y/n " wow' you follow the spirts towards the grains tree as all the other trees started to glowing brighter and brighter. you soon reach the tree truck.

y/n " I have never been here what is here anyways where I'm" the spirt from earlier was floating near you, as one the tree branch was hanging low.

y/n " I'm going with you want me to grab and see what happens right, well I'm trusting you spirt and all your friends ... oh please great mother given me strength to be strong and helpful ... I just want to be there for my family and people as I feel lost and useless" you had closed your eyes and made the connection, soon open your eyes.

y/n " huh" you soon saw Thanator was trapped one of rda traps, you remember this day as you soon saw a child version of you. Who was walking slowing towards the creatures holding your blade as you walked towards the creature. the Thanator was looking at young you made and growling, as you raised up your blade looking like you were making a hunter blow when you cut off the trap from the creatures and removed and tracking device.

younger you " there you go see I mean you no harm" younger you had broken the tracking device in many piece and soon tossed it over a cliff.

young you " see all good now you are all better they will not find you" the Thanator soon looked at you and soon bowed towards you and your bow back, the creatures soon ran off into the woods. The Thanator was not the last creatures you saved from hunter traps.

y/n " I remember that day I was so proud of myself" soon another memory started playing it was other version of you from years ago . You had come across some rda scientists and one solider .

Scientist " leave us alone we mean you no harm"

younger you " I mean no harm as well"

Scientist 2 " then why are you here anyways"

younger you " I saw your fire and came to see if you need help ... you r friend is sick" you had seen the other humans laying down sweating badly and sick.

Scientist 3 " no please don't him he our friend he mean no harm, he has a family"

younger you " I'm here to help no cause anymore harm" you soon saw flower that could help and some herbs, you grabbed them and soon of metal cups starting cursing them.

solider "what going one ... she one of them what is is doing"

Scientist 3 " don't worry she her to help you"

younger you " the hot water can I use it"

Scientist " yes give her what she said" the forth scientist had grabbed the water and gave it to you, and you soon poured the water into the cup and soon walked to the man.

younger you " drink it and you will feel better" You were kneeling down towards the man as he looked at you, he soon took the cup his friend.

solider " it ever sweet"

Scientist " what did you give him"

younger you " a herbal tea that will help heal you friend he will feel better soon"

solider ' thank you"

younger you " you are welcome now you all most head back to your home, before the scouting party see you"

Scientist 2 " why are you helping us"

younger you " because I care and you all seem like you mean no harm"

scientist " are you well enough to move"

solider " yes ready to go"

younger you " here some advice the rda higher up are using you all I know you all came here for some reason, but once the rda has had it use with you they will leave you all behind"

Scientist " thank you child we will always remember this"

younger you " if you use this way you will be home befroe dark and avoid any hunters out there, the warriors and brave and will defend our homes ... I have show your kindness today where other wouldn't dont make me regret my choices" the human had looked at you soon clearing thier stuff and soon leave the area, you made sure their tracks were not followed.

y/n " I still wonder whatever happen to them after that day" you had shown kindness and help your so called enemies will others would not. You even shown kindness toward you clan members and humans even due they didn't like it most of the time. soon the memories ended and you back in the real world.

???? " you are not selfish or childish" you soon got scared when you heard a deep voice speaking to you, making you looked around to see tshaik standing near you but she seemed different.

y/n " hello have you called me here"

????? " yes I have called you here today as I have been sneaking you out since the day you open your eyes"

y/n " huh"

????? " you think you are useless, selfish, and childlish, failure I'm right" the women was walking around you as you following her every movement.

y/n " yes"

???? " that is false I have seen what you have done in the past showing kindness towards the creatures here and face the most dangerous ones, and being there for enemies you wish to understand verse hate them"

y/n " yes"

????? " you are not useless, selfish, childlish, and failure you are perfect my child as I have a dynasty made for you and you will discover more as you grow"

y/n " huh what do you mean"

???? " you have come to place that thsaik once they are in elders years can come and you are still young, that speak volumes you will be great tshaik one day"

y/n " no that is for my sister I can't take that away"

????" still caring for your family that why you will be perfect my child, you will be good tshaik and show everyone what you can do" the women was soon standing in front of you and soon tapped your forehead as wood spirts soon started circle around you, as the women disappeared as the tree starting glowing bright and brighter. The wind was blowing as well and you could hear this sweet song and soon everything had felt like it stopped.

???? " now go live your life with wonder and beauty it will not be easy, but you will do great things my child great things" soon it felt like everything had ended.

y/n " thank you" It was night time and you realized it was far to late to be away from home, your family might be worried for you. You soon raced home with a smile one your face as the spirts followed you, as the ground glowing under your feet as your feet hit the ground. While everything else glowed when you fingers touched them, you felt some happy once you reached home you were alone.

y/n " I'm home but it seems like no came looking for me ... it okay at least they are all okay that all the matters" you soon reached your home to hear and see you family having a good time eating dinner and talking, you wish to join them but you didn't after today you felt it was wrong.

y/n " I should leave it will be bad if they see me" you soon went to place you had made with your siblings and spider, you soon climbed all the way up there it was tree house that what Jake called it. You had picked some fruit while eating it, watching some the light turn. You looked out onto pandora wondering what will happen next and what was your dynasty. You had fallen asleep that night not feeling alone like past nights you felt like you were not alone. anymore and just maybe there was some others here and with the great mother that are on your side.

[creativity-deficient]

Anywayssss I genuinely think this is one of the most important creek scenes we have so far and I don’t see a lot of people talk about it so let’s get into it

So it all goes back to this scene-

I know it’s generally agreed upon amongst the fandom that Tweek and Craig were only fake dating/doing it for the town at first, but at some point their relationship became real, and it’s easy to see why, I mean, it is left pretty vague in all fairness.

I, however though, don’t believe this to be the case? Like YES, the town shipping them together is absolutely what brought them together in the first place, and they did not seem to have any interest towards each other before that, that’s indisputable. HOWEVER I don’t think that necessarily means their relationship was “fake” either. I do think it took time and work to get to where they are now, but I also think that the whole situation, as crazy as it was, not only helped them both to be more open and honest with themselves about their sexualities, but also in the end, DID genuinely bring them closer together.

One thing I have always found super interesting about Tweek in this episode (and this could just be me) is that unlike Craig, he doesn’t seem to struggle as much with accepting his sexuality but rather, how he will be perceived because of it. His first thought when finding out about all the yaoi art is “what if my parents find out?” He’s afraid and anxious of what others will THINK of him if they know.

But in this scene, it’s clear that he’s no longer afraid, and I feel what he says to Craig here sums it up pretty well-

“I’m so sorry Craig, you made me believe in myself in a way I never have before. I didn’t think it had any of that in me but, you were right! I can do more than I think. You CHANGED something in me and I want to fix whatever’s hurting you now.”

It’s because of CRAIG that he now has this newfound confidence, and I truly believe it changed his perspective of him. Obviously I don’t think he full on fell in love with Craig right there and then, but I DO think that Craig being the first person to ever really make him believe in himself has made him start to see him in a different light, acting as the catalyst for what was about to come (in more ways than one, but that’s another rant)

It’s no secret that Tweek lives a pretty tough life. He’s abused, neglected, and no one really takes him seriously

But Craig?

Craig is the first person who has actually made feel Tweek SEEN. Like he’s MORE than what others, including himself, think that he is

It’s such a brief scene, but I feel like it says SO much, because even just being there, sitting together on the couch and being able to talk about WHATEVER without feeling like he’s going to be judged because of it is probably WAY more than anyone else has ever done for him

And you can tell it means the world to him

[toxi-works-at-culvers]

timeline of michael my good friend michael :3

thoughts under the cut

michael had a pretty decent childhood - his parents both loved him, even if his dad was a bit distant, he always made at least a little bit of time to play or hang out with him. once his siblings came along, though, he was pushed aside, ignored in favor of his younger brother and sister. naturally he has an angsty teen phase, but a lot of it is born from how he feels neglected and distant from his own family. he starts acting out, getting into trouble at school, behaving poorly even at home because it's the only way to get william's attention. unfortunately this ends up making a feedback loop: michael feels neglected -> acts out as a result of that -> william neglects him More because michael isn't fitting his mold of perfection

naturally, things get a lot worse after the bite of 83. william would never hurt his children but he does just straight up start giving michael the cold shoulder. and he'll yell at him. michael, of course, feels horrible soul-crushing guilt about what happened and it certainly doesn't help. his parents divorce, his sister dies, his social life is probably ruined after the bite, and he feels like he has no one left in his life to turn to. so he bottles everything up. slowly, over time, the spark in him fades and he becomes more quietly resentful and unhappy.

when william calls him asking him to go find his sister, he's more than happy to oblige - its the only way he feels like he can make anything right, the one good thing that he could do to maybe win back his father's favour. as you know this doesn't go as planned and he gets his insides scooped out <3

thoughts on the design: i wanted to visually show his progression from a happy, normal kid, to a rebellious teen, to an adult with crippling depression, and then a shambling ourple corpse <3 so as he ages his colors get more desaturated. i think it helps with showing where he's at mentally in his life. he looks a lot like william and thats on purpose, fnaf 2 + SL and what not. 'they thought i was you'. notably though michael is Not a pasty white boy he's half mexican. in my mind. you might've noticed i didnt mention fnaf 2 in the image which is because uhhhmmmm. im still restructuring my timeline so im not sure what to do with it. also i like the idea of frightguard(is that what we're calling it?) henry so thats why 3 has a question mark after it

[robinsegghead]

Danny's Daycare Part 13

[Master List]

TW for implied/referenced sexual assault of a minor!!!

Things had been going well recently- well- well enough. Miguel had been in a foul mood since Jason’s tutoring session but refused to tell Danny what had caused it but other than that, things had been fine. Santi had been spending time at Danny’s to both give his brother some space and get some himself, Dani had scheduled her first (and hopefully only) GED test, and Sam and Tucker had started packing.

Tucker said his job interview went well but he hadn’t heard back yet. That didn’t matter because where Sam went, Tucker went, so they’d begun packing up their apartment and planned to find a day Danny could help them move. Wes had been texting more too, and they’d also planned to find a day when either of them could visit the other in their town and hang out one on one.

(“We have to meet up in Metropolis so I can prove to you that my coworker Clark Kent is Superman and that I’m not crazy! Not only that- but the other Supers? Superboy the first is definitely his clone- I mean they look practically identical! I’m betting on the last one being his son, but that could be wrong- either way you have to visit because-”)

That’s why it only made sense that the universe pay Danny back. After all, if he had a good ish few days, he deserved to have a really shitty one to compensate, right?

Danny went over to the boys to make breakfast like he did most days (whether they came out of their rooms to eat before he left for work or not was up to them, but there would be food there if they did), Santiago had dragged himself to the kitchen table and started eating while talking with Danny about his plans for the day.

He wasn’t sure what had caused it but only a moment after Miguel had walked into the kitchen to silently grab food and leave (like he did most mornings- he really wasn’t a morning person) he froze, grew angry, and started shouting at Danny. Even Santi seemed caught off guard by the things he yelled. “You’re not our dad!” and “We don’t need you!” and other hurtful things were flung at Danny until the man calmly (only outwardly) stood up, and removed himself from the situation.

Danny had never had anger issues per se, but he’d had a lot of anger in his lifetime and nowhere to put it. He’d learned a long time ago that when he was angry- like angry-hurt-angry -he needed to stop, get out of the situation upsetting him, and come back to it later. So he did.

When he got to work he was still hurt and upset but he tried to push the feeling away and get some work done. Ember messaged him to let him know she wouldn’t be coming today which… she could have let him know with a little more notice but it was fine! Everything was fine! It was a Wednesday which meant Duke would be in so it would be fine.

Two parents didn’t follow the rules about dropping off sick kids (he couldn’t exactly blame them but…) and he had to call their families to come pick them up only a couple of hours after drop-off. Along with that a bunch of the, typically, well behaved kids were acting out (was it a full moon or something?) and it ended up being an incredibly exhausting morning for everybody.

Around lunch he slipped into his office for ten minutes of peace and quiet before sending a clone back out to do his job and staying to work on an overwhelming amount of paperwork he’d been neglecting. Between both of his jobs it was never ending.

It was an hour until check out, though many parents got out of work before closing time and had already picked up their kids, and they still had twelve kids between himself and Duke. There was a loud crash and shriek from the main room that didn’t sound quite harmless and Danny immediately tapped into what his clone was experiencing.

“-kids are the best for my tests after all!”

Danny’s clone was standing in front of the kids defensively, face to face with three goons and the ugliest… person? He’d ever seen. They didn’t look like a person fully, more like a-

“Scarecrow.” Duke muttered from his right where he also stood protectively in front of a group of kids. 

“Now, let’s see how this new strain works on kids.” He leered.

Fuck. Fuck that. Danny stopped looking through his clone’s eyes and stood up. He needed to do something, he needed to- He looked down. He needed to transform. After becoming the king of the Infinite Realms Danny had gotten a new transformation, sort of. It was essentially Phantom, but more regal, more royal. He hadn’t transformed into his typical Phantom form- his ghost fighting vigilante form, since the incident.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, and transformed. He only took a moment to glance at himself and note that his outfit was different, without actually being able to see what all was different, before using invisibility and intangibility and flying out of the room to deal with the fucker who dared threaten his kids.

~~~

“Demon brat! No one cares about your blood status!” Jason cut in. Despite his words, there wasn’t any real bite to them and everyone knew it. It was rare for Jason to spend any time at the manor, sometimes he came to the cave for emergencies, but that was the cave. The manor? Practically unheard of unless Alfred had specifically told Jason to be there, usually for Sunday brunch. But it was neither Sunday, nor Alfred’ request that brought Jason to the manor.

The fact that he’d randomly dropped by for dinner that night had been a surprise to everyone, but not an unwelcome one. Even Damian seemed to be less irritable than usual. Jason couldn’t figure out what had possessed him to drop by. He’d woken up a couple of hours before, did some work, made some food for the Nightingales (you couldn’t convince Jason that those boys weren’t Danny’s kids), and then he’d just…. Driven to the manor. Like it was natural. 

When Bruce had seen him chilling on a couch in the main living room, he’d gotten emotional, choking back his joy and trying not to make Jason uncomfortable by hovering. (He definitely hovered.) When Jason had mentioned he’d be joining them for dinner, the man’s eyes got misty and Jason ditched him to help Alfred in the kitchen.

Before the youngest could retort, they all got an alert on their phone. The ‘emergency’ alert that was programmed to come through even if their phones were on silent- hell, even if they were shut off, the emergency alert would come through.

Everyone scrambled for their phones, pushing away from the table and towards the study. They were all accounted for at the moment. Jason had come over for dinner, Dick was on a date, Tim and Damian had been home and eating dinner with Jason and Bruce, Steph and Cass were having a girls night with Babs, and Duke-

Duke.

He was supposed to be at work for a little while longer. Pulling up the feed on Duke’s phone and displaying it on the batcomputer, Bruce began to assess the situation while everyone began suiting up. 

Jason came back in time to see what was happening and noted that not only was Scarecrow on the screen, but Danny was standing to the left and slightly in front of Duke. Of course he was- Duke worked at Danny’s daycare after all. 

(When he’d learned Duke was working at Danny’s daycare he’d immediately grown suspicious and, after hacking into the bats computer, he found he was right to be. Tim had a whole folder on ‘Daniel Nightingale’ and everything he knew about the man which was- admittedly not a lot. Jason couldn’t really be angry (yes he could) about Tim’s hyper paranoia but it was kind of annoying.)

“Now, let’s see how well this new strain works on kids.” Scarecrow said, reaching into his pocket. 

Danny shifted slightly, gesturing behind himself until the kids who’d clung to him scrambled back towards Duke. The camera angle shifted slightly as Duke pushed more kids behind himself and inched them towards where Jason assumed they’d be safer. “Yeah, I don’t think so buddy.” The twink of a man stepped forward and Jason was reminded that this was the same twink who’d killed the Joker. One shotted him, actually.

Still, he didn’t want to take any chances and rushed to his bike.

“B, have O send the footage to my helmet.” He ordered before taking off, followed closely by Red Robin, and only a moment later, Batman and Robin.

As he zipped through the streets, he listened to what was happening. 

“Such courage! Not for long. What do you think you can do to fight fear?” Scarecrow mocked. “You’ll soon see your worst fear. You won’t be so brave then. No one can fight fear!”

“I already have. Not interested in a repeat.” Danny ground out before tackling the man to the ground. B growled over the comms as the vial of fear toxin was flung out of Scarecrow’s hands and careened to the ground.

There was no sound of impact and before Jason could glance at his screen to see what was happening, Duke’s broadcast cut out.

“Hood, ETA?” Batman growled snappily.

“Two minutes.” He responded irritably, green clouding the edges of his vision again, worse than usual. Now that he thought about it, it’d been a couple of days since he’d experienced any Pit Rage symptoms. Fuck, not the time.

In the two minutes it took to get to the Daycare, Jason couldn’t help but wonder; how the fuck did Danny always manage to get into these situations? And how would the man get himself out of it this time? (Hopefully not through murder ((even though it was kind of hot))).

~~~

“I already have. Not interested in a repeat.” Danny heard his clone say before tackling the rogue to the ground. A vial of toxic gas flew through the air and Phantom rushed to catch it. Once he’d grabbed it, he phased it into his body for safe keeping, and removed his invisibility. Clone Danny was still fighting Scarecrow but the rogue’s goons had burst through the doors only a moment later and surrounded them. 

Phantom rushed the goons, landing on the ground and matching them blow for blow. “Get the kids out of here!” He shouted at his clone, not waiting for a response before giving the fight his full attention.

Three goons jumped at him. Phantom disarmed the first one, snapping the gun in half before tossing the broken pieces to the side. The second goons opened fire, not taking care of his fellow goons and actually hitting the third guy- were these goons for real? Any bullets that should have hit him, flew straight through him, until the man had used all of his bullets. Scarecrow pulled out another vial and three things happened at once.

Red Hood crashed through one of the windows (ugh, he’d have to get that replaced, it was hard to find good window installers in this city), Phantom inhaled something sweet and minty that made him feel strange, and, distracted by the new smell and sensation, a bullet lodged in his shoulder. Oddly enough, it didn’t hurt at all.

The goon who shot him was knocked to the side by Red Hood who seemed to be fighting with a vengeance and that was when Phantom realized eight more goons had crowded into the building. Taking a risk, Phantom tapped into his clone’s senses to make sure the kids were safe, and once he knew they were, he went all out.

Punching the nearest goon firmly in the chest, they crashed into another one who stumbled. Phantom spun around, round-house kicking the goon who’d rushed him after his buddy had been knocked out. It took only a couple of minutes before Red Hood and Phantom had knocked out all but the last goon- Scarecrow had long since run.

Grabbing the last guy by the shirt, he pulled him close. Hood gave him a strange look (yes Danny was fairly sure he could read the man’s expressions through the helmet) but he ignored it. He had a message to deliver.

“I hope you’re listening carefully, because I need you to tell all of your little friends, your employer, and everyone you run across something for me. Are you listening?” He asked as if he was speaking to a child. The goon nodded and a noise behind Phantom almost made him take his focus off of his message, but he pushed it away, still feeling strangely tingly from whatever the Scarecrow had dosed him with.

“Good. You tell your boss that this daycare- that Danny Nightingale- is protected. If I catch so much as a whiff of a plot against this place or that man, I’ll hunt you and your friends down and show you just how scary I can be, got it?” His fangs, pointed ears, and bluish skin had become more prominent throughout the years and while he was certainly humanoid, he was quite alien looking. It scared people.

The goon nodded, terrified, and Phantom dropped him. The moment he hit the ground he was running. 

Phantom dusted his hands off and turned to Red Hood only to find Batman and Robin also standing behind him. “Oh, hi.” He smiled, waving awkwardly.

“Who are you?” Batman demanded.

Cocking his head to the side in consideration, Phantom tried to focus through the strange(ly good) feeling coursing through his body. “I’m Phantom. Who are you?”

It was clearly not what Batman expected him to say. Of course Phantom knew who Batman was, but he didn’t want to give the idea that he’d researched Gotham, that he was from Gotham. Hopefully this would be one of the only times he’d be needed as Phantom while living here and  they could all forget this happened.

Red Hood chuckled. “Damn Old man, losing your touch.”

“Hood.” Batman deadpanned.

“Like the Red Hood?” Phantom asked innocently.

They all looked at him oddly. He recognized Red Hood but not Batman? Once Hood nodded, Phantom took the opportunity to finally thank the man for all he’d done for his people.

“Damn, you’re even hotter in person.” He smirked.

“Huh?” Hood blue screened.

Batman tried to cut in. “Phantom-”

Phantom began floating, leaning back casually and placing his hands behind his head. “I’ve already left you speechless, huh? Listen, Hood, I’ve gotta thank you, honestly.”

“What is happening?” Robin hissed under his breath. Batman seemed just as at a loss as Robin. Even Hood didn’t seem to understand what was happening.

“Let me re-introduce myself.” Phantom smiled at the group sweetly. “I’m Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Defeater of Pariah Dark, and Bringer of Peace. And you, Red Hood, are known throughout the realms as the Avenger of the Dead.” He could practically hear Hood’s jaw dropping. “My people speak highly of you and I’ve always wanted an excuse to visit Gotham to thank you, formally, for all you’ve done for my people.” He’d stopped floating after citing his title and letting his kingly regalia appear but now he was bowing at the waist to the Red Hood.

“Uh- wha-”

“You’re thanking him for murder?” Robin asked, voice strained.

Straightening out, Phantom noted the discomfort in Batman’s stance. “I’m thanking him for avenging innocent people. My people.” Turning back to Hood, Phantom offered him a little card. “This is my personal summoning circle, call me if you ever want to get coffee, hot stuff.” He winked and faded into invisibility just as the police barged through the front doors, leaving behind a very confused crime lord (who he suspected was blushing) and two vigilantes.

Oh yeah, that was more fun than he’d imagined.

~~~

The rest of the night was long and testing and Danny just wanted to go home. The parents who’d come to pick up their kids were in a panic, everyone wanted to question Danny, and Red Hood had run off before they’d been able to talk. To be fair, the vigilante had tried to get Danny’s attention multiple times but he’d been busy making sure each parent got their kid, the police got their statement, and Duke knew he was to take the next week off to recover.

He’d spoken to Batman which was cool sort of, and after alerting the boys that he’d be home very late that night, cleaned up what he could before going on his way. Lady Fate was cruel for piling the frustrations on top of each other that day, but even she wasn’t cruel enough to keep him from his bed and a nice long night of (probably lying in bed being unable to) sleep. Right?

It’s like he was jinxing himself or something. Clockwork had to be watching and laughing right now, right?

Riding the elevator up to his apartment- yes he could fly, but he was honestly exhausted after the crash that came after whatever tingly high he’d gotten from the Scarecrow fear toxin- and he just wanted to drag himself to his apartment slowly and painstakingly before collapsing. He checked his messages on the ride up.

Miguel had texted to confirm Danny’s late arrival home tonight (literally just a thumbs up emoji, apparently he was still upset with Danny for whatever reason), Dani had texted to inform him she’d be spending the night at Jazz’s, Tucker had sent him a meme about the Gotham vigilantes, and Santiago had texted him-

His blood ran cold- well, colder than it usually was- as he read the boys message. It had come through only three minutes before.

Santi: Danny please come home

Santi: Miguel needs help

Santi: He won’t let me outta the closet

Saying fuck it, Danny turned intangible and flew through the remaining floors and landing on his floor. He was stopped in his tracks by a man leaning heavily against the boys apartment door and shouting through it.

“Get the fuck out ‘ere! You worthless good-for-nothin’ kids!” The man slurred. “Mick! Santi! Get yer sorry assess out ‘ere! You know ‘ow hard I ‘ad ta look for ya?”

Danny grabbed the man's shoulder with inhuman strength and wrenched him away from the boy's apartment, putting himself between them. “Who the fuck are you?” Danny asked, letting his anger seep out, the hallway growing colder.

The man gave Danny an unimpressed look. “This is whoya been kissin’ up to? Huh?” He shouted past Danny and towards the apartment. “How’re you payin’ ‘im, eh Mick?” His voice grew suggestive as he looked Danny up and down. “Payin’ ‘im like ya did the las’ one?”

It was growing obvious that the man was inebriated, though Danny wasn’t going to let that excuse his behavior. It also seemed, the man knew Miguel and Santi and Danny shuddered to think he might be their father. “Listen buddy.” Danny grit his teeth. “You’re trespassing. Leave, before I call the cops.”

“Ha- cops? YOU’RE holdin’ MY kids captive! I should call the cops myself!” The man stepped closer, towering over Danny and definitely believing himself to be intimidating. “‘M sure you can find some other street kids ta get you off.” He offered suggestively. “My boys’re mine. I’ll fergive ya this once fer borrowing them- I know ‘ow temptin’ they can be- ‘specially Mick. ‘e’s got a mouth on ‘im-”

That’s when Danny’s patience ran out. He didn’t realize it until his fist had met the other man's jaw, leaving him doing the towering. He didn’t remember it- not really. One moment he felt his fist connect with the man’s face and the next someone had wrapped their arms around his torso and began dragging him away from an unconscious body. Someone was crying- someone was shouting.

Someone was threatening my kid.

It was the only thought he’d remembered from during the altercation. Although, altercation implied it was two sided, by the look of the man’s completely smashed and bloody face, it had not been two sided. 

“Calm down, Danny, you’re okay, the boys are okay- the boys are okay.” The voice repeated over and over again, trapping him close to their body and taking each elbow to the face or ribs while Danny tried to get away before coming back to himself.

His heart rate had been through the roof and after coming back to awareness, Danny felt exhaustion overtaking his body. His eyelids drooped as his body sank back into whoever was holding him. Someone was still crying.

Eyes flying open, Danny sat up, prying the man’s arms off of him, and moving towards the sound of the crying.

“Danny- don’t.” 

That was when he recognized the voice and finally listened to it. 

“You need to clean up before going in there.” Hood said, gently but firmly.

Why? Why did he- his eyes landed on the hand he’d placed on the doorknob. It was covered in blood- none if it was his. Lifting his other hand, Danny found it in a similar condition and understood. He’d just beaten Miguel and Santiago’s dad within an inch of his life while both boys were on the other side of a very thin door. Sniffling from the other side of the door alerted Danny that the person who’d been crying was Miguel.

Locking his jaw, Danny nodded sharply, twice, before turning and going to his apartment without so much as looking at Hood. The sooner he cleaned the blood off his hands and changed into clean clothes, the sooner he could see if the boys were okay.

Danny didn’t like what he saw in the mirror- and not in the teenage-angst-and-insecurity kind of way, but in the face-covered-in-my-kids’-dad’s-blood kind of way. His hair was crusty with it- how hard did he hit the guy? Thinking back, he was relieved to find he didn’t use any of his ghost strength and the man would (probably ((unfortunately))) recover.

It was the fastest shower Danny had ever taken. Tearing his hands through his hair to get the blood out, scrubbing down his hands and face, he couldn’t get done quick enough. Slipping on sweatpants and an oversized hoodie he didn’t remember owning, Danny made his way into the hall. He was surprised to find it empty, lacking both Hood and the body but shrugged it off and calmly opened the apartment.

“-thing’s gonna be okay. You did the right thing, kid.” He heard Hood saying. But it wasn’t the familiar modulated voice Danny had grown accustomed to- it was the voice that’d asked him ‘how old were you?’ the voice that asked ‘you died and came back wrong?’ a voice that was calm, collected, reassuring.

“He’s not gonna be angry at me?” Came Miguel’s sniffled response.

Before Hood could answer, Danny stepped into the living room. “Are you okay?” He asked, trying to hide how frantically he’d like to be looking over the boy. He kept his distance. He’d just beaten his kids’ dad- almost to death- with only a thin door separating them. He wouldn’t be surprised if Miguel never wanted to see him again.

Even if his dad was a shitbag.

Miguel nodded, hesitantly. “I’m sorry- I shoulda told you-” The boy was clearly trying not to cry again, his entire frame was shaking and he looked tiny standing beside Hood.

Sensing that Miguel wasn’t angry at him, but rather, thought it’d be the other way around, Danny shoved past the vigilante and pulled the boy into his arms. “Oh my Ancients- you have nothing to apologize for, Miguel. Are you okay?” He pulled back, sizing the boy up. He had a quickly forming black eye and a split lip, his clothes were ruffled, but otherwise he looked physically okay.

“‘M okay.” He confirmed shakily. 

Danny felt another body press against his and found Santi pushing himself between them and burying his face in Danny’s stomach. He could feel Hood’s eyes tracking their movements, but for once, his mind barely registered the vigilante. “Are you okay, Santi?”

The boy nodded silently, wrapping his arms around Danny. “You got my texts.” He states, voice muffled by Danny’s sweatshirt.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been here sooner.” Danny said softly, holding Miguel close with one arm and Santi with the other.

“I shoulda told you- I knew- ‘e found somma my buddies,” Miguel sniffled, unable to meet Danny’s eyes. “‘E asked ‘em where I was an’ they warned me ‘bout it.”

Danny shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, Miguel.”

“I shouldn’ta said all those things this mornin’!” He cried. “I din’t mean it! Please don’ be mad at me!” The teenager buried his face in Danny’s shoulder which grew wet quickly.

A voice cut through Danny’s thoughts. “I’m going to head out, I’ve taken care of everything, text me if you need me.” Hood said calmly from the window sill. Before Danny could mention you never gave me your phone number how on this Earth would he text the vigilante the man had slipped out the window and grappled away. What did he mean he’d taken care of everything? 

Sniffling cut off that line of thinking and Danny steered the boys to the couch. “Come here.” He said, pulling both boys down after him and holding them closely, in a way he hoped was comforting. In the way Jazz always held him after a nightmare. “You’re okay, I’ve got you both. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again.” He soothed, running one hand through Miguel’s hair gently and the other across Santiago’s back. 

“I’m sorry.” Miguel said between little gasps for air. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Danny mumbled, continuing his gentle ministrations. “I’ve got you both.” He felt them both growing stiller and stiller. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Prev. Next

[flawlessflesh]

at arm's length

CW: Discussion of CSA and trafficking

I originally wrote this meta in response to a retrospring anon - These are my thoughts on the impact of child abuse on Thistle's ability to form relationships or feel attraction.

Keep in mind as you read that this is based on my personal interpretation of Thistle as a present-day teen who was trafficked for several years before being taken to the golden kingdom. This meta is canon-adjacent, not canon, and can be considered supplementary info for my fics.

-

Thistle has a heaping pile of trauma centered on interpersonal relationships and intimacy. This, along with his lifespan, inhibits him from forming equal relationships with others, and outside of his very small family group he doesn’t feel safe or capable of reaching out to people or letting people in.

He can feel attraction towards others but he shuts it down and doesn’t act on it because it feels like something bad will happen if he does. I consider him to be more comfortable around men than he is with women because he thinks he knows what he can expect from men (men were the main perpetrators of his abuse, but men like Freinag and Delgal are also the most important relationships in his life), but he has no idea what to expect from women. Best to avoid them. Most of his attraction is towards men as well and that complicates things due to the likelihood that these historical fantasy tall-man societies are homophobic - and Thistle isn’t treated like a man but he also isn’t a woman, so is it allowed? Is there something wrong with him for feeling this way? He doesn’t know. It isn't safe. So he keeps it all to himself.

In my timeline, Thistle doesn’t start puberty until a few years before the kingdom is turned into a dungeon. He never has the typical experience of crushes and childhood romance because he has no peers to engage in them with - his slower aging and his race isolate him. Everyone sees the silly little elf jester first and not the person. All he has is the royal family. Delgal goes through puberty, fools around, gets married, and through it all Thistle only understands that behavior like it’s something he’s read about in a book. He's disturbed by it too, having only had negative experiences with human sexuality, as little as he remembers of it. As an aside, I think when Thistle was brought to the castle he briefly had a crush on the king, but it was a child’s harmless emotion directed towards someone safe who he perceived as having saved him. If you’ve ever had a strong attachment towards a teacher or mentor growing up it was like that, and Freinag wasn’t aware of it and did not encourage it.

This is going deep into headcanon territory now. Thistle was trafficked by the troupe master of the traveling performers who had him before he was given to King Freinag. Thistle has suppressed the entire thing and can’t clearly recall the last twenty years of his life before Freinag. The information he has about that time is what people later told him (“your parents abandoned you”, “you were part of a traveling troupe”, “you already knew how to play the flute and follow instructions well”, etc). Freinag unintentionally replicates the emotional abuse that Thistle suffered — he calls Thistle his child but treats him more like a pet who has to perform for approval, and he is overly physically affectionate while neglecting the very real parental needs Thistle has as a young child. Thistle's hurt is like a barely scabbed over wound that keeps being picked at until it bleeds again.

Thistle grows up with an incorrect idea of how adults are allowed to treat him which leads to wariness towards everyone who is not the immediate royal family. They’re safe, they don’t do anything bad, but he can’t trust anyone else. Plus - he doesn’t like when strangers single him out for being an elf. He wants to fit in so badly and instead they invade his space and point out how he’s different and are always reaching for his ears. The few times he feels attraction he suppresses it on instinct without trying to understanding what it is or what prompted it. He doesn’t want to feel drawn to anyone he isn’t already close to. It’s a self-preservation mechanism and a reaction to the abuse he suffered, and after a while the curiosity is blocked off altogether.

In a post-canon future where he’s found a will to live and is healed to the point where he is interested in meeting new people, I still think he wouldn’t want to have an intimate relationship. It’s like a chasm, a frightening abyss of possibility for new experiences but also for getting hurt, and he has been hurt too many times already. Friendship would be daunting enough - I genuinely think he’d struggle with it - but anything more is equivalent with ruinous loss of control in his mind. Things can get better with time, conscious work, and understanding, but this mindset is where I see him staying for a long while. Thistle doesn’t do well with change or admitting truths to himself that he’s worked very, very hard to suppress.

[meanbossart]

its funny looking between his former fixation (orin) and current one (astarion) and noticing he has a very obvious 'type'. what made him so taken with orin, though? what did he like about her? did he not have any initial misgivings? was he ever concerned she might turn on him?

B)c Please know how happy it made me to finally have someone spell this out lmao. It's absolutely true, at least within the dynamic that DU drow shared with each of them; there are a lot of parallels to be found between Orin and Astarion.

The tough part of this question however, is that I have a very difficult time pinning Orin down. She's easily the most elusive character out of the Chosen, and while I understand this Is likely a consequence of being underwritten, I also see a certain charm in a character who's lack of development is part of their tragedy - whose story is very much about not being allowed much individuality of their own, and having no resolution. I think this is a space worth playing in.

I couldn't tell you what the hell Orin likes, what she was like besides blood-thirsty and deranged. I can barely fathom her sitting down to have a conversation with someone. Think about it - she was raised from childhood in the Bhaal temple, both her parent's were faithful servants and she was essentially groomed from birth to be either Bhaal's Chosen, the Dark Urge's consort, or a sacrificial lamb. Nobody had ANYTHING to gain from allowing her to develop any humanity.

Of course, this doesn't mean she doesn't have any, deep inside. We see glimpses of it in fairly difficult-to-get dialogue regarding her origins during act 3. My very vague take on Orin is that she was a determined and persistent person who learned to make her circumstances work for her as best as she could, who had a strong sense of her boundaries but a horrifically difficult time differentiating between negative emotions - this is why I personally don't even know whether she """"led DU drow on""" our of malice or self-preservation. Perhaps she didn't know either - I think whenever Orin felt sadness, discomfort, anger or even happiness or love, she found a way to turn it into bloodlust and sadism, every time.

And it's in part this elusiveness that would have attracted DU drow. What did Astarion have to do to get DU drow to pursue him? He had to feign disinterest, he had to pull away - the fact that Orin never allowed DU drow to get close enough to truly know her plays a significant part in how unhealthy his attachment for her became.

That said, this was a long game - he did become infatuated pretty much from the moment he saw her when they were both teenagers. This is a much simpler concept to understand - he was profoundly emotionally inept and neglected, and she was probably the prettiest thing he ever laid eyes on, not to mention the only other person in the temple close to him in age.

Truth is, they did have a lot in common on the very basis of having been so thoroughly stripped of their humanities, but It was a closeness born entirely from circumstance - the implied vulnerability in the type of life they shared together, even if they never spoke about feelings or shared what normal people would qualify as a "sweet" moment. They didn't really use their words, and when they did, they were like daggers - twisted murder sibling banter.

But when they had to work together it was very different. They played off each each other like match and friction, like two fitted cogs turning a wheel. There must have been nothing that swelled DU drow's heart more than when they killed together, perhaps even more than when Orin hurt him. He loved seeing her in her element and yearned for nothing more but to be let into the joy she found in it.

He Never had any misgivings. He always thought she would come around (to him) eventually. He was completely and entirely blind to how much her resentment towards him grew throughout the years, how he lost a sister through wanting a lover.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Sometimes we seek external validation in order to feel like we can still earn the love and approval we might have been denied in our childhood or past experience/s. We can do this in many different ways, developing different "abilities" in order to have our emotional needs met "at all costs": for example we become a perfectionist (we were praised only after overworking/reaching certain results); we start people pleasing (we were taught others cannot leave if we're what they search for and are always there for them no matter what); we learned to downplay our needs to avoid conflicts or problems of sort...

These (and others too) are all copying mechanisms we developed to fill the void/emotional neglect/absence of unconditional love we've been experiencing in our past. Living this way though can make us develop other problems in our self: eg. digestive problems, chronic stress, dissociation. But the thing is: no matter what we do or how much we change, an emotionally immature caregiver is blocked by their own self limitations and fixed views so they won't show up for us as we need.

And it's not our fault: they just weren't given the correct infos to handle their emotions and cannot see where they're going wrong (maybe also cause they were taught from another wounded generation that this is how you do things, no matter if they pain you or what), so please forgive yourself and free yourself from shame and guilt. It's not your fault if your caregivers couldn't show you that you don't have to gain love in any way cause you're already lovely and worthy as you are.

The moment you miss your parents' love in your childhood (a foundational moment of the life of any human being), you carry this void in your adulthood and it may even get enhanced, or make you search for the same type of relationship where you need to show up in a certain way to feel like you deserve love (and this keeps you stauck in the same place of pain and self hurt). You will always need to seek approval, to act in a certain way, fear being abandoned, wonder about your worth/being enough, and that's cause of your rooted habit born from the lack of emotional consistent support.

To get out of this cycle, try to understand why and how you had to develop this copying mechanism and why you keep it in your life these days (ofc ask for help to professional figures too if you need). You can get out of it and find the right emotional nourishment you need and deserve: let yourself try to see things from another perspective.

(source: insta + please check the description OR here)

[serial-unaliver]

My response to this post about the possibility of Michigan school shooter Ethan Crumbley's mom being charged with involuntary manslaughter I was tagged in (putting it in a separate post because I don't feel like starting shit with anyone):

The case here being used is unique to other shootings. Typically mental illness is not actually the primary deciding factor for violence. Media coverage of school shootings has caused more school shootings than mental illness. A large amount of school shooters were inspired by the ideology of other school shooters. If Columbine wasn't treated the way it was I have no doubt there would've been less shootings.

When it comes to negligence involving mental health I don't actually see a big increase in surveillance or institutionalization as some are claiming though. The fact is parents can already use mental health as an excuse to force their kids into abusive 'treatment' with no consequence. It happens in every psych ward. It's also already used in legal cases as well, that happened to me and it did in fact lead to being forced into harmful treatment, so really the precedent and incentive is already there for those who choose it in my opinion. Meanwhile there's the opposite case where parents would rather their kid cause destruction than admit any mental health issue exists regardless of consequence. Logic is thrown out the window for the most part.

Now the defense of Ethan's mom is claiming he is a manipulator and not mentally ill. While anyone who follows me knows I despise the mental health argument about school shootings, it's quite clear this kid's actions prior to the shooting were at the very least a cry for help. He didn't try to make this secretive and even drew pictures of it. If his parents didn't care about this, it's possible he's neglected in some way at home, which can actually lead to antisocial behavior and acts of violence or threats of them, because, well, one would assume your parents would finally give a fuck about your well-being in that case. I'm diagnosed with a cluster B personality disorder partially due to "manipulative behavior" in the past which seemed horrible and illogical but was literally the only way I thought anyone would know I was hurting. Obviously I don't know if this is what's actually going on in Ethan's case, but what everyone can agree on is the parents' response to all this was not normal or acceptable and doesn't exactly paint an image of a well-adjusted family. And I do wonder if the "manipulator" argument comes from the (most common) perception that anyone with this behavior was just born evil.

ANYWAY, here are some articles/resources on common causes of school shootings and how media coverage and environment impact them, both to spread awareness and to point out that you should not in fact paint anyone as born evil or a future shooter just for certain issues.

• Bullies, black trench coats: Columbine’s most dangerous myths

• Violence has grown since California's incel shooting

• Who is most likely to get bullied at school?

• School shootings and student mental health (Includes more detailed statistics but some are misleading - the one on bullying is based on public perception of shootings, not actual cases, and the one on violent video games has no real correlation. Let this be a reminder to research your own sources!)

[hammysamhah]

hello peoples i’m about to sound real crazy right now but hear me out cus i’ve been thinking this for awhile now while binge watching TBGO and Trollstopia and i need to know your thoughts!! and buckle up folks cus this is gonna be a LONG post

so okay basically, i think that in the shows Guy Diamond has some sort of generational trauma/ daddy issues/ faced parental neglect or however else it can be phrased.

this theory is only show specific and i don’t know if i sound crazy for thinking this AND i know i’ve made a post similarly about this except with Dareth from Ninjago but i actually have some real evidence this time to back up this theory/headcanon

look, this theory started off as kind of a joke at first after watching TBGO episode: “Trolly Tales 3” where Guy is seen telling a bunch of children a story based off of the nursery rhyme about jumping over a candlestick.

the story is seen with Guy as the main character, wanting to pursue a life of entertainment involving jumping over candlesticks. Sky Toronto, whom is Guy’s dad in this story, doesn’t agree with this lifestyle and insists he starts thinking more seriously and be part of the company. Guy rebels and pursues his dream anyway, but in the end it fails after the candlestick drops Guy and becomes a solo act. Guy, now at his lowest, goes back to his dad’s and tells him he’s ready to be serious. Sky responds to the statement that he has seen Guy’s shows and that he doesn’t want Guy calling him dad anymore, but to instead call him his #1 fan. it was a small but sweet twist there at the end where the dad accepts the son in the end.

now i didn’t really give much thought to the story until i saw the way Guy reacted when the kids didn’t like it. now i’ll make it very aware that i very much know Guy is just super dramatic (they even acknowledged that in the scene i’m mentioning rn), BUT as someone who loves to overanalyze cartoon characters and expressions, he kind of looked genuinely hurt. he was also fairly offended when poppy said his story was too dramatic.

mentioning again that i know Guy is just a drama queen but i like to overanalyze stuff like this

now after i noticed these details, i jokingly remarked that it seemed like Guy took the dislike of his story personally, as if that was a semi-true story. like as if something like that did happen to Guy when he was younger and he twisted the story to fit the nursery rhyme. i don’t think that Sky Toronto is his actual dad, there’s too much proof that shows they don’t have any personal connection like that. but i do think that whoever his dad really was did push him the same way Sky did in the story. and that maybe Guy twisted the ending to be happy when in reality it probably didn’t have his dad accepting him and loving him for who he was.

now everything i have been talking about is all just speculation. there’s no real proof that this story isn’t anything more than just a story. BUT!!! by overanalyzing it is what made me realize that Guy being neglected in some way by his dad (or mom if he has one) would make some sense considering his personality.

Guy is very reliant on being the center of attention, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone being better than him and just has some confidence issues in general (at least in TBGO). there are many episodes centering around this. this is even stated in Guy Damond’s wiki.

now, attention seeking is a very common occurrence in people that were neglected as a child. his attention seeking and huge ego are both things that show signs of trauma or neglect as seen below

this is just a slice of what i have in store though because i think that this ties into the way he parents Tiny Diamond in Trollstopia.

Guy and Tiny have a few episodes centered around their relationship, they’re all pretty heartwarming and a little sad (while also being funny because the show’s a comedy). these episodes have a pretty similar moral which is “i’ll love you no matter what” and i feel like there’s a reason they all pretty much have this moral and it’s to show how Guy is growing as a character and parent.

let me just summarize these episodes i am thinking of realll quick for ya

Extra Tootering (s1 ep 12a): Tiny wants to learn how to glitter fart like his dad to impress his friends, Guy tries to teach him how but it doesn’t work. time comes where Tiny is meant to show his friends his trick and ended up faking it so no one could know he couldn’t do it. feeling guilty for his lie, he runs away and Guy finds him and tells him that whether he can glitter or not he and his friends will still love him the way he is.

Dad-urday (s2 ep 1b): Tiny thinks of his dad as his hero and Guy doesn’t wanna do ANYTHING that could ever break that image, so Guy participates in Dad-urday events that he hates just to make Tiny happy, only in the end to find out that Tiny will always view Guy as his hero even if he can’t do all the typical dad things that others can do.

Funder Construction (s7 ep 5a): Guy tells Tiny about how their family has a legacy of building extraordinaryly cool blanket forts and unintentionally pressured Tiny into feeling that he needs to make his own super impressive fort or else he won’t be considered a Diamond, Guy immediately comforted and reassured Tiny that no matter what he accomplishes in life he’ll always be a Diamond because he’s his son and that he’ll love him no matter what.

now let me break down these episodes a bit more to show you how i think it could prove Guy has parental trauma and how it plays into how he parents now.

for Extra Tootering, there’s this specific scene that spoke to me. when Tiny tells his dad that he wants to learn how to glitter like him, Guy tells him that he was also a late tooter and that Tiny should be patient, as it comes with time. but then Tiny starts saying that he’ll just hide his true self away until then. when Guy heard his son say those things, he was tearing up and even freaked out a little literally shouting a dramatic “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” and he immediately decided that he was going to help his son learn to glitter fart despite his earlier statement that Tiny should be patient.

now i know the topic being about farting glitter makes this feel so unserious but that isn’t gonna stop me from overanalyzing it LOL

the main thing i noticed was how upset that Guy was when Tiny started talking about hiding himself from the world. Tiny was wanting to hide himself because he couldn’t glitter like Guy could. Guy didn’t wanna be the cause of his son hiding himself!! any parent would be upset in this situation. but if i consider my past point of that story Guy told back in TBGO, where the dad didn’t want his son to be himself, being a real thing that Guy could’ve gone through, Tiny wanting to hide himself could very much upset Guy!! not just for the basic reasons of wanting your child to be happy but also because he doesn’t want Tiny to go through what he went through.

later on when Guy finally finds his runaway son, this interaction plays out:

(direct quotes from the ep)

Guy: “don’t you see? i love you just the way you are! we all do!”

Tiny: “but you’re my daddy, daddy! you have to say that.”

Guy: “…you’re right, Tiny. i guess because i’m your father, in a way, i do have to say it.”

and the way Guy said that last sentence just felt interesting to me. the pause before he said it, and using the words “i guess” made it feel like he never really got that treatment from his own father ? ofc i could just be grasping at straws there a lil bit but it’s what i’m thinking.

now by the end of the episode Tiny has learned how to glitter and used it to save himself, his dad, and friends from falling to death lol— but what Guy says to Tiny afterwards was very sweet.

(direct quote from ep)

Guy: “TINYYYYY! HAHA! you did it! YOOOOU did it!!! for the record, i’d still love you if you couldn’t, but i’m glad to not be dead.”

i just like how Guy specified that he still would’ve loved Tiny either way. this doesn’t directly lead any points to my theory other than maybe Guy feels the need to make sure Tiny absolutely knows that he’ll love him no matter what. but any parent should feel that way about their child. i just really thought the moment was sweet and worth a mention.

now onto the next episode, Dad-urday, and let me tell you this episode probably spoke to me the MOST when it came to defending my theory.

for the entire episode Guy was stressing over disappointing his son. Tiny thinks of Guy as his hero, and Guy doesn’t want to do anything that could ever shatter that thought and make Tiny think less of him. so he and Tiny participate in a thing called Dad-urday, where all the dads in Trollstopia do a bunch of stereotypical dad things (like grill, play catch, fish, stuff like that). but Guy isn’t good at those things, so he goes to his friends for help and this interaction pursues.

(direct quotes from ep)

Synth: “Tiny’s gonna love dad-urday! he thinks the world of you and what-not!”

Guy: “exactly! Tiny thinks i can do anything! but tomorrow he’ll realize i can’t, and i just don’t want my little boy to lose his hero…”

Guy is seen here putting so much pressure on himself for no reason! he should know that Tiny would love him despite his lack of ‘dad’ skills, but he’s convinced himself that if he isn’t perfect and amazing at everything then his son will think less of him. this is totally rooted in Guy’s confidence issues and probable parental neglect i think.

so Guy forces himself to do typical Dad-urday things (with the help of his friends) to make sure not to disappoint his son. but things go wrong when Guy has to participate in a boating event to which he gets into a dangerous position. at this point Guy’s friends finally told Tiny the truth and Tiny immediately just wants his dad to get out of the danger he’s in leading to this interaction

(direct quotes from the ep)

Tiny: “daddy! your daddy friends already told me everything! you gotta get out of there!”

Guy: “b-but— this isn’t how i wanted this to go, Tiny! you’re my little boy! and i want you to keep on believing i can do anything! so you don’t lose your hero!”

the way that Guy sounded so panicked and upset in this scene really hurt. to me it feels like Guy is desperate to not end up being a bad dad, he wants to be someone his son can look up to and to be the first person he goes to if there’s a problem. i really think this shows that Guy never had a good role model himself, as he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t need to do all the things he’s making himself do in order to achieve this goal.

this mindset even had Guy forget that Tiny already knew he’s not perfect, as Tiny pointed out he already knew he’s not capable of everything and specified about when Guy tried to build his bike and failed, which made Guy finally remember. Tiny then proceeded to list a bunch of other things about his dad that aren’t the most charming, like his bald spot, or his fake calves lmao

anyways the next bit of dialogue here seems pretty meaningful

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “there’s only one reason you’re my hero, daddy…. *BECAUSE* you’re my daddy!”

Guy (tearfully): “…really?”

the fact Guy was crying in this scene just showed how touched he felt that he didn’t actually have to be perfect to be a good dad. and that he already was one. the mere fact that being his dad made Tiny think of him as his hero definitely made him realize he was doing a good job. he needed to hear that after all the pressure he put on himself earlier.

now onto Funder Construction, which is a pretty big one too cus they actually talk about their family in this episode!

this could potentially put a little dent into my theory since Guy is the one who talks about them and he didn’t seem like someone who didn’t like his family. but i might just put it as he didn’t wanna have his child worry about it. i mean Guy is an actor in the show, it wouldn’t be too crazy for him to ignore his feelings for a minute and talk a little kindly about their family’s legacy to inspire Tiny, because Guy did play a fair part in it after all.

now to put it simply this episode hurt my heart so bad 😭 Guy’s parenting in this episode is so good it hurt. Tiny found an interest in making blanket forts, so Guy tells Tiny about how making blanket forts runs in the family and that they’ve all made huge creations out of them. and now Tiny wants to do the same.

Guy supports Tiny throughout the entire thing until Tiny starts rushing it and the fort becomes unstable. by then Guy is begging Tiny to stop but Tiny is consistent on getting it done. then the tower starts wobbling over with them on it and they fall off the side! luckily they were able to hold onto some loose blankets but they still were in a very unsafe position. and even then, still Tiny is consistent about finishing this fort and thus, this interaction pursues:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “i have to build something the world has never seen before!”

Guy: “BUT WHY?!”

Tiny: “because if i don’t…i’m not a Diamond.”

Guy: “…not a Diamond..?”

and dude. Guy’s face after Tiny said that. that brief moment of just an emotion change felt like Guy was realizing that he unintentionally pressured Tiny into thinking that if he didn’t build this fort he wouldn’t be considered part of the family. this is the exact thing Guy wanted to prevent Tiny from feeling.

so now continuing the scene, tiny is crying at this point:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “it’s like you said, ‘every Diamond built structures that would stand until the end of time.’ so, if i don’t do that… how can i be one of them?”

Guy: “…Tiny Diamond. young man, you listen to me, and you listen good, because i have something that you need to hear. first of all, the things the Diamonds of the past did took them their entire lifetimes. if they caught one glimpse of what you’ve accomplished as a child..? it would blow the hair right off their heads!”

Tiny: [smiles and sniffs]

Guy: “and second of all, and way way more importantly, none of that matters! i don’t care if you build a thousand skyscrapers, or if you never touch another blanket again, you are always a Diamond. because you.. are my son.”

this scene is so important not just for Tiny but for Guy too. Tiny is learning once again that his dad will truly love him no matter what. and unlike last time with the glitter fart, (which Tiny was able to achieve in the end), in this episode, Tiny’s plan doesn’t work, but now he’s okay with it. because his dad made him feel less pressured and more loved. Guy Diamond truly said some powerful things to his son. this will most likely be a memory that Tiny will remember forever and that’s such a good thing.

coming back to the theory though, Guy had accidentally made his son feel how his family probably made him feel in the past. maybe not about specifically the blanket tower stuff but possibly something similar or just anything in general. pressure to live up to family values can be traumatic if your family makes you feel outcasted for not living up to it the way they want. and considering i think Guy either got disowned or ran away himself, (solely based on the story he told those children in TBGO), it obviously didn’t end very well.

the fact he made Tiny feel that pressure was probably heart breaking to Guy. and he made sure to immediately make sure Tiny knew he had no reason to feel like that. he became so serious so fast to make SURE tiny didn’t feel out of place in their family.

and that just shows Guy’s development not just from the trauma im theorizing but just in general in the show. Guy was never really the most serious character in this show. i mean, he’s a naked sparkly troll who’s main character trait half the time is farting glitter or being super dramatic in comedic ways. but seeing how serious Guy gets when it’s about his son just goes to show how seriously he cares about him. and that’s how you break generational trauma yall, Guy Diamond mastered it.

so um yeah this is pretty much all i have to say about this theory. i just wanted to show how i thought that Guy didn’t have a good childhood but made sure his son had a great one. really sweet stuff for this mostly unserious show. i know this is probably super dumb but i don’t care i just love dumb things. and if you actually read all of this thanks and here’s a cookie 🍪

[epiphainie]

okay bear with me here because i'm not really sure where i'm going with this one but i've been thinking about buck asking tommy to madney's wedding for so long and like, it's such a buck thing, right? we make fun of tommy's initial reaction because he's experiencing the Evan Buckley Experience full-force and from the front seat for the first time. buck acts on his emotions all the time, he's instinctive, he's impulsive. even if he called tommy to get coffee that day with the forethought of asking him to be his date at his sister's wedding, it's still such a buck thing to do: it's extreme, it's a major jump, it's something probably not advised by any dating columns, and likely something none of the other characters would ever do.

yet i find it so different to every other time we've seen buck act Big because of Emotions.

we see buck be impulsive and emotionally-driven in so many different flavors: as a child to get his parents' attention (him accidentally hurting eddie is very reminiscent of this to me), on the job when he's being reckless to save someone's life, when he sues the fire department because he feels pushed out of his job, when he goes against the law and athena's word and tries to find maddie and doug, when he finds red's the one that got away etc.

but rarely do we see him take big actions driven by his emotions when it comes to his romantic relationships. the only thing i can think of him is following taylor to her dad's hearing because he's worried about her. and of course, the only major commitment/extreme decision he's taken in a relationship when he asks her to move in. because he fears she'll leave him if she learns about him and lucy kissing. and then later on when he tells her anyway on the day she moves in, after basically trapping her, because he can't deal with the subsequent guilt.

i don't like assigning positive/negative values to emotions but this is my way of saying how for the most part when we see buck act big and impulsive like this, the motivation comes from a fraught place. because he feels neglected by his parents, because the fear and the subsequent anger over losing his job which at that point he considers the only thing he has, because the fear and worry he feels over maddie, because the concern over taylor re: her dad. even him helping red is him projecting his own fears about his future on the guy. this is especially true regarding all the lucy/moving-in fiasco.

which brings me to my point about how him wanting to blow up the walls of his closet and introduce tommy to his friends/family only after one kiss and a date feels different. it's buck at his most buck; it's out of pocket, it's major, it bamboozles even cool cucumber tommy for a second. it's also probably the first time we see buck act like this driven by feelings of not fear, worry, anger, sadness, but by him feeling like he's ready for something and wanting it with tommy. it's such a testament to the intensity of his feelings. he's not even a hothead like that anymore, he's matured, but here he is counting on a feeling and jumping big like we've never seen him do on the show before, let alone in his romantic relationships. i adore it because it's so buck but i also adore it because it's so buck after seven seasons of growth and because of him looking forward to something, driven by feelings of "i kinda can't stop thinking about him" and "i'm free" and "that something could be with you."

[mezzy303]

So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

i will never not feel so bad for ian because of how his parents treated him.

as far as we know, ian was the only one who was physically abused by frank throughout his childhood. frank hated ian the most because he “looked the most like his mother” (and the most like frank’s brother, clayton, ian’s actual dad clayton, but nobody actually ever says that) and ian thinking that he looks/acts like monica seriously effects him later on. frank treats him like absolute dog shit, and we hear ian say that when he was six frank locked him in the basement for days. one of the biggest things about shameless is the “cycle of abuse” and frank’s treatment of ian is ironic because from what we know, frank was the only one his parents ever abused (physically, at least).

and for monica, ian was his favorite. i don’t give a shit if fiona says that lip is her favorite, from monica’s first episode’s it’s been apparent that it’s ian. for example- not giving a shit about any of her children’s accomplishments until it comes to ian, and her eyes light up, or making lasagna “ian’s favorite” (it’s not). but being monica’s favorite isn’t actually a good thing. monica seriously abused ian, too, and people don’t always awknolege that. their relationship was built on manipulation, monica’s victim complex, and neglect. she did nothing but use and hurt him, and whether or not she really loved him doesn’t really matter because either way it just hurt him. and the saddest thing is no matter how far away he pushes her, he’s still attached and he still loves her. we don’t know what she truly put him through as a child, but we can assume that it was hell. from ian’s whole speech to her in 7x09 we can tell that he definitely needed her, but she was never there. this is also apparent in fiona’s monologue in 7x12.

also, in season 11 when debbie tells frank, “you ruined love for me!” that definitely also applies to what ian was saying in season 10 about having frank and monica as role models for love. they damaged him so fucking badly and even though he did get a happy ending, he got totally screwed over.

i get that people hate ian for saying that frank was worse than terry in hall of shame, and i made a whole post about that (here!), and although if we’re really thinking about it, yeah, terry was technically worse; ian still went through so much traumatic shit that needs to be taken into account.