#also kind of feel bad they got steamrolled lol

[lordsky4ever]

Ramattra is pretty fun

[lonelywhalien22]

trust me

pairing: bang chan x reader

rating/genre: comfort, fluff, sprinkle of angst

summary: you're having a bad day and your boyfriend chan is there to try and make you feel better.

warnings: reader is low key hella sad in this (take care of yourselves yall <3) + a steamy kiss (very self indulgent ik i'm sorry)

word count: 2.7k

song(s) to listen to while reading: steamroller by phoebe bridgers (reader is hella sad so are we surprised lol), renee's song by bazzi, fall by chloe x halle

note: while i try to tame some bigger fic ideas into submission i'll occasionally polish up + share some of my more decent smaller pieces from years past. pretty sure i wrote this one in the throws of the p*ndemic while struggling with college and feeling hella touch starved...so yeah...enjoy lol <3

————

It was one of those days - one where that funny feeling had bubbled up inside of you, seemingly out of nowhere. You knew it all too well by now, knew its signs and its symptoms. One moment you’d be fine, and then it would happen - a dreaded phone call for an appointment that you could no longer put off, a tedious task at work, a much needed item that you’d misplaced and couldn’t find - sometimes it was all of these things in one day and more, and suddenly you weren’t ok. And as much as you’d try to not let all the frustrations of life get to you, as much as you’d try to hold on to the good, to the light, sometimes bit by bit it would still slip from your grasp until you were tired of trying and there was nothing left inside of you but a dull gray.

You hated when you got in these sorts of moods - used to think there'd be some stage in life, some milestone you could reach, thing you could achieve that would make them go away forever, but you’d survived enough of them by now to know that it was a lifelong battle. There were highs and lows, and today just happened to be one of the lows.

Today also just happened to be one where your boyfriend Bang Chan was supposed to be coming over. His presence was one that so often brought light into your life - fun and laughter and a smile to every situation, but despite having accepted that you were in a sour mood, the thought of him seeing you this way made you feel worse instead of better - like a recluse undeserving of such sweet affection. As if he could hear your thoughts from afar, your cellphone began ringing on the kitchen table, temporarily snapping you right out of your self pity.

“Am I still good to stop by in an hour?" You could practically hear the excitement in his voice, imagining his charming smile immediately, but the warmth in your chest only lasted for a second before you just felt even more upset with yourself. You didn’t wanna burden him with your feelings - tramp all over his joy with your frustration.

"Hey Chan. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of feeling like trash right now." You thought maybe that would be the end of it, hoped that he would read between the lines, but he was completely oblivious, a caring tone seeping into his words as he tried to help you instead.

"Are you sick? I can pick up something for you and bring it by if you want.”

"No, that's not exactly it," you began, struggling to find the words. There was a long pause on the line, and you could hear Chan shifting, as if he was sitting up. You cursed in your head. There was no way he was gonna let this go now - not when you were being so distant. 

“Babe, you know you can tell me anything right?” His use of the nickname made your heart flutter again, gently coaxing you to open up to him - to be honest.

“I know.” 

“Then talk to me.”

“I just…I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“Nothing you say is stupid,” Chan said immediately. “Tell me what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh before nervously continuing. “It’s just…sometimes I’ll get in this really weird headspace and it makes me feel like crap and...I'm just annoyed with myself. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense...I think maybe I just need to be alone right now," you tried to get the last words out but began to break down a little as you really thought about what you’d said. Something about hearing it out loud made it feel all the more real, your eyes beginning to water and throat beginning to dry up.

“It sounds like you're upset. You sure you don't want me to come over?” 

You took a big breath, trying to calm yourself before speaking again, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find it in you to say anything else. It felt paralyzing - being stuck between the part of you that just wanted him to be with you and the part that was afraid you’d scare him away forever with your feelings. The more you thought about it the more emotional you got, and you felt a tear run down your cheek before you started to sob silently into the phone.

"Babe? Y/n?” Chan asked, voice becoming laced with concern. 

"Yeah?" It was all you could manage to sob out.

"I'm coming over right now," he said quickly, making the decision for you. You could already hear shuffling sounds in the background as he presumably scrambled to grab his things.

"Give me like twenty minutes ok? And just stay on the line with me please? Can you do that for me?" 

"Yeah. I'm sorry." 

“There's nothing to be sorry for," Chan said softly.

————

In less than twenty minutes you heard a hurried knock on your door. Hanging up on your phone, you pulled yourself off of the couch and shuffled over to the entrance of your apartment, unlocking and pulling open the door to reveal your boyfriend's slightly panicked face.

“Hey…” he whispered gently when he saw you. You moved out of the way and he quickly stepped inside, setting down a bunch of bags before he turned back around and immediately enveloped you in his arms. The warmth of his body pressed against yours easily disarmed you, walls falling down so that all you could think about was his sturdy embrace. 

"I'm sorry,” you mumbled into his chest, trying to look at him. “I didn't mean to worry y-" 

"Hmm. Shush. No apologizing. Just let me hold you for a minute, yeah?" 

You nodded your head against him, silent as you slowly relaxed all the muscles in your body and let yourself really feel his warmth, feel all of the love radiating from his body into yours. He smelled like his shower gel, a hint of spearmint seeping into your lungs as your breathing began to slow and your eyes closed, whizzing thoughts in your head beginning to dissipate one by one. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his black sweater, holding on as if you never wanted to let go, and he let you - staying wrapped around you for an entire minute, just like he said. One of his hands stayed firmly wrapped around your waist while the other went up to start rubbing all the way from your head to the middle of your back, repeating the motion leisurely. You released a sigh of content as he did this, feeling yourself start to calm down, heart rate beginning to slow. Eventually he loosened his arms just enough to pull back a little and look at your tear-stained face.

"Let's sit down and I'll get you some food to eat hmm?" he said quietly, thumb wiping across your wet cheeks. You nodded, feeling a bit like a child as he lead you to your couch and wrapped a blanket around you before getting you some food from one of the bags he brought. When he came back you noticed his hair was a bit wet, presumably still drying from a shower he must have taken right before calling you, strands curling from the dampness. And as you looked down at the container of food he’d placed in your hands you realized it was your favorite meal from your favorite place. He even remembered how you always asked for extra sauce. 

Chan stayed silent as you slowly picked up your fork and began to eat, still sniffling a little. He easily found the remote to your tv, switching it on in a practiced familiarity, and put on one of your favorite movies, letting it play softly in the background before digging in to his own food.

When you’d both finished eating, he silently patted his lap, and you knew without any explanation that he was asking you to lean yourself back into his embrace. You did so shyly, Chan grabbing the blanket and draping it around the two of you before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you even closer. Finally you relaxed, leaning your head into the crook of his neck and turning slightly so that you could shamelessly wrap your arms around his middle, no longer even focusing on the tv at all. It felt so comforting to be in his arms that your eyes immediately began to close, his embrace luring you to sleep.

————

When you woke up it was dark outside. You blinked a couple times, shifting slightly before realizing that you were still completely wrapped up in Chan’s arms. To your embarrassment, you caught him peeking at you with the softest look on his face, your heart beating a little faster because you’d never been this close to him for so long before. 

“Better?” he asked you simply, thumb moving to rub against your elbow gently.

You opened your eyes a bit wider, immediately beginning to shift up on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize how late it was," you said quickly instead of answering his question, feeling guilty as you shifted a little from his embrace. You’d essentially used him as your own personal pillow for who knows how many hours. “I didn’t mean to keep you here like that for so long,” you continued to ramble, but Chan only shook his head in response.

“Y/n. Hey - look at me,” Chan said with a soothing tone. You stopped your shuffling and did as he asked.

“Do you feel better?” he repeated his question from earlier, and you finally nodded a little before picking at the blanket on your lap.

“Yeah. I’m just sorry I wasted your time because of some dumb mood I was in," you responded, annoyed with yourself as you pushed your hair out of your face roughly.

“You know it’s not a crime to feel sad, right?” Chan started gently after a couple beats of silence, clearly trying to find the right words as his thumb continued to lightly rub against your skin. “Even if there isn’t a clear reason - that doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less real.”

“I guess.” You dismissed his words easily, clearly not taking them to heart.

"Why do you always do that?" he asked lightly.

"What do you mean?”

"Talk yourself down. Dismiss how you're feeling,” he elaborated, a little concern in his voice once again. “It makes me worry about you.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise before you looked off to the side. 

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just out of habit.”

Chan tapped your elbow, silently asking you to look at him again. 

"Can I tell you something?” he whispered into the quiet. You nodded curiously.

"I care about you - so much that it scares me sometimes,” he said earnestly, raking a hand through his hair. "You're so thoughtful, so kind, such an amazing listener - you make it so easy for me to be honest about how I'm feeling, and I've never felt more comfortable talking to anyone else,” he continued, looking down a little as he said that last part.

His words made you feel shy all over again, not expecting him to be so open with you. You willed yourself to keep looking at him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…I wanna make you feel safe too - safe to share how you’re feeling with me, the good and the bad. Because that’s how you make me feel.” 

“Chan…” you said, lightly smacking his arm in jest as you looked away from him, tears flooding your eyes for a different reason. But he just leaned forward and kissed your temple, pulling you back into his arms gently before continuing.

“Trust me, ok?” Chan asked as you nodded into his chest. “I want you to know that you can always share how you’re feeling with me - even if it’s sad or you don’t think it makes any sense - even if I can’t fix it for you - I’ll always at least be here to listen, I promise. Just don’t hide from me, yeah?”

Tears were falling from your eyes now - not because you were sad, but because Chan’s care for you felt so unconditional, so devoid of judgement - and you’d never known care like that from a partner before. You didn’t have any words to respond in that moment - all you knew was that you wished the two of you could stay on your couch, just like this, forever. 

"I didn't mean to make you cry again," Chan said, a little worried as he saw your expression. "Let me get you some t -”

But you leaned up and kissed him gently, cutting off his words. This wasn't your first kiss, but it was definitely the first that you had initiated. Usually you would just stare at his lips longingly or give the tiniest of hints until he finally caught on to what you wanted, but this time you couldn't hold yourself back. You just felt this boost of confidence, an unrelenting need to express a feeling that words couldn't define. 

Chan was shocked at first, but he quickly fell into it, closing his eyes and immediately wrapping his hands around your waist oh so gently as his lips began to move against yours slowly, lightly, with the utmost care. You each tilted your heads instinctively to opposite sides, still not coming up for any air as you maneuvered yourself back into his lap and brought a hand up to caress the side of his face before combing your fingers through his hair instead, a tiny noise of contentment leaving you in that moment. 

“Y/n…” he groaned softly against your smiling lips. 

"Hmmm?" you responded, still in a feeling of utter bliss. Your other hand was rubbing across his upper chest and shoulder soothingly, and you leaned in and kissed him again before he could even muster enough sense to respond, unable to stop yourself. Chan’s lips began moving against yours again, and he started to lean forward until your back was against a pillow on the couch and he was hovering over you completely. It felt as if he was trying to reach your heart with just the movements his warm, pillowy lips made against yours.

His thumbs started rubbing soothing circles into your waist and you felt like you were floating on a cloud, mind becoming hazy as your head became filled with thoughts of him and only him. He left three final pecks on your lips, finally mustering enough self control to pull back before things got even more heated. His hands slid from your waist all the way up to your cheeks, caressing them softly. 

You were smiling softly but genuinely, in complete bliss as he leaned in and kissed your forehead sweetly before finally saying, “I love you, you know?"

“I love you too,” you whispered quietly, just enough for him to hear. 

He rubbed his thumb near the corner of your lips, eyes crawling all over your face before he said a little regretfully, "I hate for this to end but I don't wanna keep you up any later than it already is."

“Then just stay over for the night. Please?" you begged a little bit and put a pout on your face. He immediately kissed it off of you and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"Are you sure?"

Neither of you had ever spent the night at each other's place, so it was completely new territory and you could tell he didn’t want to seem like he was taking advantage of the entire situation. You shifted up a little to kiss his forehead back.

“Chan, I want you to. I promise. Please?”

You meant every word. You wanted nothing more than to hold him all night long.

"Ok," he said quietly, grin growing on his face until you saw that cheeky smile you loved so dearly.

————

That night was one of the most peaceful you’d ever had in recent memory. Buried deep under your sheets, nestled under the stars, you curled yourself into his arms - so close that you could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, slow and steady. And you fell asleep just like that - sweet dreams eventually melting away into the morning sun.

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Just had a fun idea 💡- if someone else were adapting the Roycegaryens from book to screen, what sort of changes do you think might be made to their characters?

Okay, but this is such a fun thought experiment! And after finally emerging from my Crusader King's 3 hole (made a new dynasty twice, hoping this second attempt goes well & that I can successfully create a dynasty of hot witches) I am ready to tackle it!

Just gonna get the "bad faith" points out of the way first. If it were HOTD's show runners & writing team, they'd be dumbed down & we would wind up skipping most, if not all, of Aemon's Bisexual Boy Winter arc at White Harbor (pay no attention to the fact he's there during the summer. If I'm calling Ella's time in Essos "hot girl summer" even though she's there during the winter, then I'm gonna call Aemon's time with the Manderlys something equally as thematic but incorrect). We'd probably also have to suffer through fully blonde!Yorick just to make the wig easier, & maybe even blonde!Aemon going off of the fact they changed Rhaenys's hair from black to silver. Anyway, having gotten the bad faith, HOTD critical stuff out of the way, let's move onto some actual thought experimenting, lol

I think Yorick's childhood crush on Alicent would probably be cut or transferred onto to Shireen, just to tidy some stuff up & get rid of things that aren't really plot points or something to serve the narrative. Yorick's childhood crush doesn't really serve much since it fizzles out after he's betrothed to Shireen. I also think they'd probably make the Yorick/Rhaenyra/Shireen thing messier--not necessarily have there have been a thing with Yorick & Rhaenyra (although that probably wouldn't be off the table given they turned Nyra & Alicent into a situationship lol), but just probably misinterpret why she's weird about him (either through not getting it, or to make it easier for audiences to grasp). His angst would probably also get dialed up, or they'd get rid of him being willing to cry to make him manlier or something, because "men with short tempers aren't getting emotional & crying" or something.

The girlbossification of Rhaella Royce would be so real. A lot of her rougher edges & the times I let her be wrong would get sanded away to make her a bland, palatable, Girl Power fantasy. She'd get the adult!Rhaenyra, post-popularity-boom/fanon!Daenerys treatment, really bad. Because on paper she's got the perfect traits for that: has a dragon, has several hobbies that aren't seen as traditionally feminine, she more-or-less gets to do what she wants & doesn't see super extreme (or sometimes any due to circumstances) consequences, she can kind of steamroll her way into getting what she wants a good chunk of the time while still being likable because she's gregarious & charismatic, I legit had a comment on my fic calling her a feminist once. Like...she'd just really easily be able to be a Sexy Girlboss We Try To Have Cater To Everyone treatment. I don't like it, but unfortunately it's much easier for me to see how her character would be botched in an adaption than it would be to see objective/neutral/perhaps even positive changes.

In terms of Aemon...I'm not super sure. There's been so little of him so far & he's still unfolding to me in a way. Like, I know where I'm going with him & I know his personality & his deal, but I haven't had as much chances to play around in his head as I have his older siblings, y'know? In general, I think there'd be a very real chance his first relationship would either be cut altogether, or just glossed over to make sure we know it happened (kind of like how we didn't find out Laenor was gay until the episode he got married in 😅)--although I think cutting Medraemon would do a disservice to his healing arc. Guess it would just depend on how the adapter(s) would feel about having the two canon, very real, very equally good for him, relationships when moving Aemon from page to screen. He'd also either have his edges sanded away like Ella, or he'd have them made even worse like Ser Criston Cole (again, it depends on the person adapting him for a show feels about him), either way His Deal™️ would probably get simplified for ease of understanding like the Yorick/Rhaenyra/Shireen thing.

All of this said, I'm not really someone who understands adaption super well so I'm pulling a lot out of my ass. I am beyond open to how anyone else things my Roycegaryens would get adapted into a televised version of SOTF, because it really is an interesting thought experiment & there's probably someone else who'd have ideas on what would happen there as well.

[urthemiiel]

band name bestie and wild card for mercy, beginnings bandmates and tattoo for kian (hope it's not too much ddjdskjd)

THANK U!! it is not too much dont worry <3 but ill put it under the cut bc its long hehe

infamous mc ask game!!

mercy

Band name: How did they and the others come up with the band name? Has the name changed since it was founded?

- their band name is final girl, like the horror movie trope! mercy is a big fan of horror or gore or anything spooky. the name has been the same since the band was started, and it’s always been fitting since they are a punk band with a female lead and the aesthetics to match the ongoing horror theme!!

Besties: What’s their friendship with Rowan like? What are some things only he knows about them?

- she and rowan are super close!! he’s her best friend in the band. only he knows the full extent of her delusions LOL every day she texts him that she is fully convinced orion wants her bad and every day he says “u are literally insane ❤️”

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like.

- shes super active on social media and has a decently large following even before botb. her fans love her for the drama… u better not piss her off bc she Will post call outs on her main ig 😭 during botb she absolutely heckles both soft violence and underground wastebasket and says mean things to their fans just bc she thinks it’s funny. besides being a troll she also posts a lot of selfies and thirst traps bc shes hot!!!!

kian

Beginnings: When and how did they know they wanted to be a professional musician? Was there a deciding factor?

- kian was a bored and lonely child and his parents felt enough guilt that they enrolled him in piano lessons so he could have Something to do(idk how canon this could be but its canon To Me). he was a natural, and he loved it. it was his introduction to his love for music and for a while he did think he’d pursue it as a career but ultimately decided it would be boring and his dream switched to being a famous rockstar instead. going to his first live shows, discovering misfit alley, and meeting seven/eventually starting the band in high school solidified that goal

Bandmates: How do they feel about the members of the band? Would they still be interested in stardom if they weren’t with that group?

- hes close to everyone in the band in his own ways. mostly rowan and devyn tho. rowan is a partner in crime, they have the most fun together and will always find a way to piss off orion. devyn is the rational one and kind of a calming presence. they got closer after the whole party/seven fiasco. if he didnt have the band i think he’d still pursue that kind of music, but probably as a solo singing type thing

Tattoo: Did they keep the tattoo with Seven’s initials? Why/why not? What was that decision/execution process like? (Bonus: What do they think of Seven keeping their tattoo?)

- he did keep the tattoo and he also doesnt conceal it on stage. so something about kian is that he is absolutely terrified of needles. hes never gotten piercings or any other tattoos, and the one tattoo he has for seven is a testament to how much he loves him bc it was a whole ordeal just to get it. so besides the fact that he is still horribly in love with sev, he also will not get it removed or covered bc he acts like sitting in the chair and being touched with the needle again is the same as being tortured to death. he says that he will get it removed once seven gets it removed, but the thought of seven removing his initials makes him ill 🤕 its like his last shred of hope that seven doesnt completely hate him

[sysig]

It’s been another one of those weeks for the books

[queenlua]

finished Golden Wildfire route

off-the-cuff thoughts:

* when someone told me Claude kills Rhea in this route, my first reaction was, “that’s fascinating.”  indeed, that was the “push” that got me to try the game out.  like, while Claude-as-presented-in-Three-Houses doesn’t really have much against Rhea (though he’ll approve if you speculate on her death), and Claude-at-end-of-Verdant-Wind certainly doesn’t begrudge Rhea (hearing her whole backstory is super sad!)... i’ve always thought you’d only have to push the pieces around a bit to, say, set up a situation where Claude letting Rhea die is convenient, or you could get Claude more fussed about the church earlier on, etc, and it was fascinating to me that Three Hopes was willing to actually go there with a darker take on the golden boy.

* ...unfortunately they didn’t actually set it up as Claude making a cunning play, lol, instead we are just very determined to kill Rhea because of Reasons TM.  in general, this route seemed to want you to take it on faith that the Central Church is not only evil but punish-by-death-able, which puts it somewhere between “Saturday morning cartoon villainland” and “tonally bizarre”

* lots of fun ideas that they didn’t really follow through with.  Claude and Edelgard using each other is rad, but we never actually see Claude get anything out of their alliance.  (having Edelgard in your “debt” because you saved her one time means nothing if you don’t have leverage, dude!)  Claude actually fucking up something once in his goddamn life is cool, except the whole Randolph thing was 100% a nothingburger to me, it’s called tactics and Claude was looking out for his own interests, why was everyone giving him so much shit about it, lol

* mostly this game’s story was a bundle of very interesting ideas with shit execution.  which, uh, is not a bad description of Three Houses, actually, but here they’re bungled it in totally different ways which is kind of hilarious

* i’m still very lmao at Fire Emblem’s general royalist streak.  “democracy annoying, replace with king” and then we just never really revisit that thread again huh

* Dimitri deliberately using Claude to get rid of Rhea is one of the few actually-fascinating political machinations going on (Dimitri! of all people! there’s hope for the boy yet!), but it happens mostly offscreen so waaaah

* shez >>>>>>> byleth

* i’m kind of glad i wound up killing byleth, if only because two more chapters sounds kind of insufferable; the route was already feeling kind of overlong (i was so OP i was just cruisin’ through battles near the end), and you tell me the other route has more?  dear god

* though at least all the animations were fly as hell.  near the end i was just swapping around characters to see how fucking cool they’d look on the battlefield (claude is coolest/flashiest by far, and also i got a soft spot for the bow knights in the house; watchin’ ashe’s horse fuckin do ballet while i was steamrolling enemies ruled)

* though i never quite got the hang of using mages?  i, uh, think i had a bad habit of just diving into hordes and taking the damage rather than “dodging” or “blocking” or “using a strategy” so maybe that’s why

* i was also super amused at how many of the paralogues were just blatantly filling in backstory that they decided to skip over in Three Houses.  can’t tell if they’re stuffing in stuff they always wanted to include, or if this is just padding stuff out, but hey now we know how Claude’s uncle died ig

* damn balthus is so good.  loved his supports.  why have i been sleeping on this himbo i need to write some more ashen wolves fic haigelhagil;e

* also: all of hilda’s supports are so gay.  good for her

* liked the bit where claude had to murder his brother, but damn could they have given him a less cartoonishly arrogant/moronic brother... did they even BOTHER to consider consulting my headcanons for his fam... smh

* does anyone play this game without playing Three Houses first?  they must be so confused rn poor dudes

* oh right, the lil animation that Yuri gets when he’s performing his ult or whatever? and he shouts “BOW BEFORE ME”?  fuckin 12-year-old-kid-winning-at-Mortal-Kombat energy, right there, i fuckin cackled, what a charmingly dweeby one-liner

* in conclusion, Three Hopes is a game

[obstinaterixatrix]

Messy rambling thoughts about significant points for susie/noelle dynamic:

Noelle —

has been interested in susie for a while—“I’m kind of curious what she’s like. I mean, who DOESN’T wonder about her? She never talks to anyone.” Strong enough interest she’s asked her dad for advice (or maybe got unsolicited advice) on how to approach susie (i.e. going up to her and calling her a hot piece of work or something similar) (lol)

genuinely intimidated by susie, doesn’t necessarily believe in (and isn’t specifically attracted by) an already existing Secret Heart Of Gold per se (“She’d probably just laugh at me” + “[The real Susie] probably doesn’t care about me at all […] she doesn’t care about anybody”)

however, susie being nice is “just what [noelle] was hoping” and from the beginning of ch 1 she’s “always thought Susie can’t be that bad.” Telling Noelle that susie’s terrible gets noelle to reveal that noelle “THOUGHT Susie was good, just… Maybe it would take someone special to find her good side” and noelle accepts that Susie is terrible, which does not actually affect her interest in susie (lol)

perception of susie is: she’s good but she’s just mean (<3)

thinks Susie is “the good kind of scary”—textually expressed to Susie in terms of Susie not being afraid to break the rules (doing what she wants, which is what Noelle wishes she could do—Berdly and Queen highlight her issues with being steamrolled over by people who think they know what’s best for her, and according to Rudy this pattern also happens with her mom) (therefore susie aggressively asserting herself is a source of admiration)

the good kind of scary is also defined as the safe kind of scary—the other meta highlighted predictability (since susie being a bully is established, susie can be expected to consistently act intimidating in a specific way) but I also think that this establishes susie as having reasonable limits in terms of physical aggression. noelle can expect susie to push her to the ground, and can expect susie not to injure her further, falling within the bounds of ‘safe’ (if you walk fast to the supply closet, susie mentions kris “has a lot of experience running away”—it could be that kris was just able to escape every time which gives noelle this impression of susie’s limits, but I feel like ch 1+2 makes it clear susie’s m.o. is to threaten & scare people away & I’d interpret the escape as part of that) (also, while slamming kris against a locker is more extreme than expected, it still falls within the bounds of ‘safe’)

has some degree of indirect/direct initiative with zero (or minimal) prompting—in the first chapter tries to volunteer herself to go with susie without input from anyone, in the second chapter will invite them both to study regardless of player choice (with the obvious ulterior motive of getting closer to susie), will additionally give susie a box of chalk if kris says she’s nice; regardless of dialogue will at least want to invite susie to the ferris wheel

initiative comes from “good kind of scary”—noelle hopes for susie to be nice and receptive to her attention, but the worst case scenario of rejection would still 1) fall into safe expectations of scary, 2) showcase the qualities noelle is attracted to (only does what she wants, therefore assertive rejection is still ‘wow no one can make her do what she doesn’t want to <3’)

I’d also speculate it feels a little bad for noelle to be cowed by people who aren’t supposed to be intimidating—e.g. when berdly speaks over her after she tries to suggest a group of 3 with kris. On the other hand, susie is supposed to be scary, so it doesn’t feel bad to be scared of her. and also having a crush is scary so noelle gets to be double-scared without feeling uncomfortable/ashamed/unhappy/etc.

Susie —

Aware of noelle because of the pencil thing, positive feelings since before ch 1 (saw her smile, decided to spare + “Since that stupid queen took you, I was kinda worried”)

Very clueless about indirect interest—receiving gifts & being invited to study together does NOT register as someone wanting to be friends with her

To some extent, passive/reactive; will not take initiative regardless of vaguely positive impression UNLESS Something Direct/Drastic happens. Comparing pacifist/weird routes, pacifist has noelle telling susie she’s the good kind of scary + she wishes she could be more like susie, and susie is still guarded/passive (not initiating conversation); weird route has susie initiate with “have a good dream?” which means something more drastic than established vaguely positive feelings must have happened. You can also see this with lancer—she starts being open to friendship only after he’s very directly like thanks! you were helpful! you’re cool and I want to be more like you! But she gets more active the more comfortable she gets in a relationship, e.g. insisting on going with ralsei

Basically unless she’s being actively pursued or in an established friendship, her reaction to someone she has positive feelings toward is: that’s kinda nice. I’m going to leave it alone forever.

Related, very resistant to imposition of roles & expectations that go against what she’s decided to do (ralsei’s “whether you like it or not you’re a hero [….] could you please start acting like one?”) and VERY WEAK to genuine positive attention (aforementioned lancer scene and also all lancer scenes, the pencil thing with noelle + ferris wheel convo, when queen in weird route says she’s always known susie was a nice girl, even back in ch 1 says toriel’s “a good mother” and in ch 2 is obviously flustered + Cares A Lot about her opinion)

can be super super dishonest to others about positive intentions as a way to save face—offering the candy fruit thing to lancer by saying she just changed her mind about it, in weird route following up “let’s go in and save her!” with “And uh, y’know, teach her not to get in our way,” telling noelle not to get used to being saved by her even though it was something she wanted to do. changes in more dire circumstances, e.g. no front/bravado when lancer asks if they’re still friends

[miraculouscontent]

Anonymous asked:

I've seen you mention it before (at least I think it was you), but I was curious. How do you interpret lukanette as being like zutara? Is it just because they're both popular non-canon ships? Or is there some kind of parallel I'm missing? Because honestly if I had to make a parallel between lukanette and any atla ship it'd probably be something like sukka.

This anon here explains it really well:

Anonymous asked:

I think the Zutara point is interesting because they have a VERY SIMILAR story/development that Miraculous has. The team behind ATLA actively denied the possibility and probably of the Zutara ship and occasionally backpedaled on themselves when it came to relationship consistency. Not as bad as team Miraculous and Asstruck and but it was a sore spot for a while. Then they started openly appreciating some fans points about why they would make a possibly good couple. One of a few times where things don't end too poorly on a shipping front.

Truuuue.

The thing about Zutara and Lukanette is that they’re a beautiful “alternate ship” compared to what’s actually endgame, and a good chunk of people agree that it’s better/healthier than what ended up as endgame (Zutara in particular competing with two endgame ships, being Mai//ko and Kat//aang). I’m also not getting into discourse about ATLA shipping because I’m honestly not the person to go to for it (been too long), but an argument could be made (and have been made) that Aang and Adrien have some similarities in term of their ship being set up.

The backpedaling this anon mentions is also a factor. This post goes pretty well into it in one of their points (they’re about to be really confused if they start getting notes on a post that’s 5 years old lol), but there’s a massive backpedal in-show in order for the alternate ship to not happen. Things just... stop, and the endgame ship swoops in to steamroll it.

Sukka isn’t a proper comparison for me because that’s an endgame ship. My core points in comparing Zutara with Lukanette are basically:

- ship that has a lot of chemistry

- is not endgame and got cheated by the writing

- good part of the fandom prefers it to the endgame ship and even sees it as healthier overall (being particularly impressive in both cases too because of the sheer screen time difference)

- endgame ship involves the male claiming the moral high ground over the female (”The Southern Raiders” and “Chameleon”/”Malediktator”; also still salty about the deus ex machina in the ATLA finale so Aang could stick to his morals while Adrien gets coddled by the narrative whenever the stuff he tells Marinette goes badly), whereas the male for the non-canon ship doesn’t and wants the female to act however they feel.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 7 Apr ‘21

Louis left Tulum and went to Mexico City, and we got airport pics from both ends: the gathered fans were told by his bodyguard that they should keep their distance but that yes, pictures would be allowed. Thank you Louis! We got to see him a little for the first time in so long, in videos of him walking by (and getting ready to walk by) and blurry pics of him with his guitar, and Oli and Charlie- I’m excited to someday see the footage of whatever they’re working on. But for now, finally some proper pictures of the long long hair, or at least the below the hat part, all flippy and like...LONG! It’s on his SHOULDERS! Early pics had some interesting shadows around an elbow, prompting a flurry of NeW TaTtoO?? excitement, but when more pics were posted we could see that no, his elbow remains the same, false alarm. Once that tattoo kerfuffle died down the interest refocused on his shirt, which featured- a whole damn pile of skulls!

Louis went through a long phase of wearing skull shirts a while back, and the fact that it was during a period of a lot of very pointed t-shirt messages (and that he kept doing it more than ever despite knowing what we were reading into it) seemed to reinforce the theory that he did in fact mean things by it, and seeing him say yes to fan photos while wearing this shirt for the occasion… well! WELCOME BACK public Louis, we MISSED YOU! Yesterday’s shirt was for the band Obituary- is the band name a nod at the fact that Syco, generally considered to be the main target of previous skull shirts, is now dead and gone (rest in pieces assholes:))? Is Louis drawing attention to the livestream that band did a few days ago for their album ‘The End Complete’, and if so, is that also about Syco or about… something else? Inconclusive, but if we were meant to find their song “End It Now”, that can truly only be about one thing!! Am I to believe that SBB himself, Mr “I like to draw the fans’ attention to the lyrics of things” just, whoopsy, missed that! I mean, you would think every band on earth has lyrics about “ending it“ with the number of times he’s made that mistake, damn… he just never learns. Poor Louis, gosh how embarrassing! Lol. Anyway, I’ve seen people wondering lately what will happen when all the fans that have joined us in this time of lockdown and of no real contact with Louis will react when their version of Louis has to compete with the real one- and him barely being back at all but immediately reminding people that he is not a dad FFS feels like an excellent beginning, this should be good! BUCKLE IN friends! The real Louis is sooo much more fun than the boring made up one, just get ready to enjoy the chaotic energy and trying to keep up with him….

Oh also Louis liked a Snuts tweet about being underdogs as they fight to get the release week UK #1 for their new album, and a charity says they reached out to Louis AND LOTTIE to play in their celeb footie match PLEASE, HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? Come on Tomlinsons, say yes!

Liam has a big interview in Glamour to promote his BAFTAS performance! If *I* were doing the piece I would have really gone hard on the Two Liams angle of the performance (in which Liam will be accompanied by a hologram of himself) but alas they are boring and only interviewed one of him- maybe the part where he says “you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person” sort of counts? The “that's always something I've really struggled with” makes it not so fun though, but that’s a Liam interview for ya; worrisome and makes you want to hug him a lot. “I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away,“ he says, and today is no exception. We catch up on the time since last we heard from him, when he told us he was going to take some well-earned time off and try to focus on writing new music; he continues to have difficulty with downtime unfortunately. Oh Liam, I do wish it were easier for you to take a break! He says, “I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit... not being able to go anywhere, not being able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself” and “for me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards.” He goes on to say “so, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today,” and I wish I believed him, but that’s Liam’s way, to be like oh I need to add something upbeat and end on a cheerful note! So IDK. He also talks about drinking too much, at the beginning of lockdown especially, and how he’s dealt with it by getting back to working out and dieting. There’s nothing there that he hasn’t talked about before (he’s publicly addressed both his struggles with alcohol dependency and has talked a lot about his disordered eating though he hasn’t himself named it that) but after publication Glamour edited the piece to omit the part about his drinking-- I’m guessing the augmented reality app people didn’t feel it fit their ideal image (sigh). What that leaves is him saying how nice it was to be able to eat what he wanted during lockdown but that having the boundaries and rules in place of restricting his food again has made him feel better about himself, which if you ask me is still plenty distressing. Oh Liam :( <I’ve never wanted to hug someone so bad/ Spongebob meme> On a slightly more cheerful note, he tells us he feels supported and heard by a manager that he’s close to, and by Louis, and that those relationships are good for him (the interviewer does ask about Bear, but financee Maya is not mentioned even once in this article). The piece ends with a startling response to a comment about his upcoming performance: “I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.”

Niall posted about his Masters (golf) fantasy league and he was seen out and about! He was photographed in London driving a car the size of a house and on the street carrying one of his dozens of different reusable water bottles, with his hair floppy and down- is it a new haircut or just unstyled??- and shorts and little roundish shades. Hello Neil! There was a rumored sighting of Harry in London as well but no pics and like we know he’s there anyway so… shrug. And iHeart award nominations are up, and they’re pitting louies against harries, ouch. Will it be nasty (well when isn’t it even without this voted category, sigh), or will the louies simply steamroller everyone as per usual? Only time will tell, but if so harries can console themselves with their likely wins in the Male Artist of the Year, Best Lyrics (Adore You), and Song of the Year (WS) categories.

[butterflydm]

wot reread: the shadow rising (chap 11- chap 15)

spoilers through the end of the shadow rising

1. Egwene goes adventuring in TAR! She’s trying to investigate to see if the Tanchico story is true. So I got the elephant skeleton and the giraffe skeleton, but the ‘big as a bear but with two long teeth’, I’m not sure what that one is. This is also where the Mercedes-Benz logo shows up, lol. We’ve got the bracelets of suffering, the broken ter’angreal, the not-broken angreal. Lots going on in the Panarch’s Palace.

2. One of Egwene’s dreams: “Mat wrestling with a Seanchan woman who tied an invisible leash to him.” 🥺🥺😥😥😭😭 The leashes theme is so painfully real for so many of the characters and it hurts my heart.

3. Ah, and she accidentally travels to the Aiel Waste in the dream because of thinking about something Aviendha mentioned about Aiel Wise ones being able to interpret dreams.

4. She meets Amys and has a spotting of Birgitte! Nice! Not bad for her first non-ring trip. She gets her formal invite to visit Amys and learn dreamwalking (under semi-false pretense -- she does lie about being a full Aes Sedai sister, as they’ve been doing this whole trip).

5. Elayne learned about first-sisters in the last book, and now she learns about sister-wives (women who marry the same man). It was implied in the last book (”let no man” etc) but Aviendha makes it clear here.  Aviendha points out that, in Aiel culture, if that if two women are close to each other but then attracted to the same man, it’s considered better for them to marry the guy than to ruin their relationship by fighting over said guy. the ‘two hands’ meme, essentially. I wonder if the show will also give us brother-husbands as well. They seem willing to do the poly stuff so far and even expand on it a bit so 🤞.

6. Aviendha gets summoned to Rhuidean and she’s so unhappy about it. 🥺 🥺 🥺  it’s okay bby. 🥺 🥺 🥺

7. Perrin and Mat having a conversation about the Two Rivers and about Rand’s ta’veren pull on them -- Mat can’t even tell Perrin that he will go with him, now that the option is on the table, while Perrin says the one reason to go is able to outweigh all the reasons to stay with Rand. In fact, Perrin was able to actually start packing to leave as soon as he heard the rumors about Whitecloaks in the Two Rivers. Though, since he is one of the people the Whitecloaks are specifically hunting, he has strong guilt-based reasons to want to go solve the problem.

8. Yeah, Mat refers here to the (now-established through changes in the Rand/Egwene backstory) tradition of the Two Rivers’ parents arranging marriages for the Two Rivers’ boys without their knowledge or consent, and basically just presenting it as a done deal and steamrolling them into it.

9. Berelain dismisses the idea of chasing after Mat because she thinks they’re too similar. I’m just gonna sit and imagine that plotline for a moment, if they’d done it. This belief of hers tells us a lot either about how she sees herself or how she sees Mat. Or both. Ironically, I think this romance might have worked out a lot better than Berelain thinks it would. I don’t think she’s anywhere near as good at reading men as she believes that she is (as we saw from how badly she read Rand in chapter 2).

10. lol, Berelain is 100% unwilling to admit to Perrin that Rand has absolutely forbidden her to ever try to speak to him in private again. Fear is strong but her pride is stronger. Also, she goes into his rooms as well without knocking, and so catches him shirtless, a common theme from TDR, now brought back again.

11. “I always get what I want in the end.” Again, considering how total and complete Rand’s rejection of her was, this stinks of her trying to salvage her pride.

12. And here Faile, for possibly the first time in her life, actually WANTS all the power that comes along with her birthright, because she’s realized that being seen as ‘just’ a peasant actually doesn’t have the kind of power that she feels she would need to challenge Berelain. That being said. Kinda hate that it’s in service to what is, essentially, a ‘catfight’, as Faile’s struggle about whether or not to accept her upbringing now that she can see that it has things that would help her get what she wants in her current life actually is compelling.

13. Ah, yeah, Berelain was somewhat interested in Perrin before, but only enough to try to lure him to Mayene, but she wasn’t going to go particularly out of her way for it. It’s Faile attacking her with a knife that makes her decide that she wants him enough to change her plans in order to try to yank him away from Faile. It’s now much more about making Faile lose him than it is about actually getting Perrin herself (going back to Nynaeve’s accurate character analysis of Berelain!).

14. And when Rhuarc breaks up the fight, Faile tries to attack him, too. Between this and hitting Perrin when she felt frustrated and angry, violence really does seem like it’s Faile’s primary language, and one that she is equally willing to use on enemies, neutral parties, and the people she claims to care about. Which. Is not my personal preference in characters. To put it mildly. But it’s also an interesting contrast to how Perrin constantly struggles with the idea of violence, that he fell in love with someone who defaults to violence so readily.

15. REDSTONE DOOR TIME!

16. Fascinating and delightful and creepy. Love me some redstone doorway time. This is just one of those sections that is an amazing journey to read. This book has several of those sections, which may be why I remember it as one of my favorites. There’s a great slow-building horror in this section.

17. Mat learns his fate. 🥺🥺😥😥😭😭

18. Doorway couldn’t handle three people inside all at once, and one of those people being Rand. It got stressed. And Mat has to again forcibly remind himself that Rand isn’t who he used to be, because when he looks at Rand, he does still see the same person. lol, he thinks that Rand is acting super-cool and wishes he could emulate it.

19. And Moiraine is mad at Rand for trying to find his own answers but, of course, when he turns the question on her, she’s no more ready to share the questions that she asked and the answers that she got. We also find out here that Mat was able to easily speak an ancient dialect of the Old Tongue with the Aelfinn and didn’t even notice he was doing it..

[another-bloody-multimuse]

I've been meaning to write a headcanon post on Ghetsis' parents for a while.

👀👀 i am respectfully listening

Haha okay, well here we go!

And as should be of very little surprise, considering this involves Ghetsis, tw: for physical/verbal child abuse, extreme body image issues, weight, mild body horror/surgery talk.

Narcissa and Algernon Harmonia were a perfect cocktail for a dysfunctional household, producing kids with issues. Narcissa is a raging narcissist (I don't normally like to be so on the nose with name meanings and personalities like this, but tbh, I just found it funny), and Algernon enabled her. While he was very affectionate toward Narcissa, she was the only one who received said affection, and not because she made it that way. Algernon is naturally a very closed off person, and treated his children like roommates than actual children.

Together, they had:

Anthuria Harmonia, who escaped with CPTSD and still struggles well into her adult years,

Damien Harmonia, a self centred, entitled asshole, who constantly screams for attention and validation,

and Ghetsis Harmonia, who... was Ghetsis Harmonia.

Narciss was always a deeply disturbed person, and her inflated ego was to try and compensate for her own feelings of inadequacy. She fell hard into the trap of trying to live up to society's beauty standards, and felt the body and face that she had been born with were both wildly unacceptable and needed to be changed ASAP. She got one plastic surgery after another, until she was completely unrecognisable compared to her pre-surgery pictures.

She went from this:

to this:

The extensive surgical work extended beyond the face as well, and left her with a highly exaggerated hourglass figure, inspired by the "real life human Barbie", Valeria Lukyanova.

As a parent, Narcissa blatantly and uncaringly played favourites. Ghetsis was her golden child, and raised him to believe that he deserved to get everything and anything he wanted, no questions asked.

Anthuria was her scapegoat. Anthuria was always on the "heavier" side (as in, had a body weight like an actual human being would have), and Narcissa endlessly bullied her for it, trying to force her on strict diets and exercise regimes. She also allowed Ghetsis and Damien to physically and verbally bully her, and outright encouraged it from Ghetsis.

Damien, on the other hand, was very much the lost child to both his parents. He barely got any kind of attention, good or bad from either parent. With the brief exception of when he was elevated to the position of Narcissa's golden child very briefly before her death, after the family had discovered that Ghetsis was gay.

And this is Algernon Harmonia.

Yes, that's a monocle.

Yes, he's wearing it unironically.

Yes, he looks like a serial killer who would target prostitutes.

An "old fashioned" kind of parent, Algernon believed that children should be seen and not heard. Preferably in another room, away from him.

While Narcissa was a lady of leisure at home, Algernon has the not at all vague job of "businessman", because I haven't yet figured out exactly what he did, lol. But considering he's dressed as capitalism in human form, it was probably something incredibly horrible and damaging, yet also extremely lucrative. The Harmonias were always a very wealthy, old money family, and spared no expense in hiring staff to do the stuff that they didn't want to do, or saw as beneath them. Like cooking, cleaning, childrearing.

There's not really much to say about Algernon, honestly. He's not yet as well developed as Narcissa, and much of his personality stems around barely having one. He's aloof and quiet, it's easy to forget he's even in the house, unless you disturb his work, or he's around Narcissa.

For all the many, many, many, many faults the Harmonia family has, Algernon and Narcissa genuinely did have a strong relationship with one another right up until Narcissa's death.

Unfortunately, that also meant that he allowed his wife to steamroller over their kids and abuse them. So... it's hardly a positive. Oof.

[baldrambo]

Someone made a post on Reddit calling Bob Will’s father figure. I think that discounts Hopper and Jonathan. What are your thoughts on that subject?

Anonymous #2: Do you think that if Bob were alive, Jopper would never happen? If no, then how do you think Joyce and Bob would split? 

I got both asks almost back-to-back and figured it would be a lot easier to just handle them together. I sort of turned this into a Bob meta (apologies to the two Anons for the length, lol). There’s been a lot of Bob discussion cropping up lately and I wanted to use this as an opportunity to discuss the character (and why I’m troubled by the recent discourse in general) while answering the asks as I go.

I’ll start with a gutsy statement: Bob has achieved God-like status in this fandom.  Similar treatment has been extended to Benny, Alexei, and in some cases, Barb: all inherently decent secondary characters. Bob was probably the most fleshed out of all of them because he was around the longest, which made his death even harder to watch.

But what do we know about Bob besides being inherently decent? We know he hates scary movies and likes Kenny Rogers. He went to high school with Joyce and Hopper and everyone called him Bob the Brain because he’s so smart. He founded Hawkins AV Club! He was also bullied mercilessly as a kid in part because he didn’t fight back. That’s about it.  What are Bob’s hopes and dreams? Has he ever suffered any traumas prior to the events of S2? What are his weaknesses?  Has he ever been in any other serious relationships? Does he have any vices? No one is perfect, not even Bob, he just wasn’t around long enough for us to learn about any of that. So, it’s easy to look back on him as this Perfect Guy™ when he just had the tactical advantage of being a secondary character. We will never know the answers to any of these questions, nor do we know the answers for Barb, Benny, or Alexei because they all served a limited purpose within the narrative. 

In my opinion, Bob’s limited purpose was to jump start Joyce’s character arc beyond “protect Will!” What Joyce wants to find is her soulmate, a parental figure for her boys, someone who makes her feel safe.  Bob was the beginning of her search for this. He planted the seed in her mind about moving away, about having a “normal family.”  And it drove her entire arc in S3.  At the end of S3, yes she picked up and ran because Hawkins was dangerous and she wanted to protect her kids, but also because of this idea that had taken hold of her: maybe if she physically fled the trauma and the death, maybe she could find that feeling of hope again that Bob made her feel.

But planting the idea isn’t the same as fulfilling it.  An ideal isn’t reality BECAUSE we as humans are not perfect, and nor are relationships, or life.  So, if Bob had lived, would he have been the right one for her? Would they have stayed together? No and no. And that’s the point.  It takes more for a relationship to work than just “this guy is really nice and wants to parent my kids with me.” Relationships involve a TON of work. It involves being vulnerable with someone, opening up to them. They require romantic chemistry and sexual compatibility.  They require mutual understanding and compassion and working through things as a team. Sometimes it involves fighting and saying hurtful things and apologizing.  You need to love them and fall IN love with them, over and over again. Two people just being inherently decent isn’t going to cut it.

Joyce is a fierce, independent, headstrong woman.  She needs a man who challenges her, who she can bounce off of, not steamroll.  She’s also a bit neurotic and anxious and needs someone who understands what she’s been through, knows how to help her tackle it, and listens to her but doesn’t coddle her.  She needs someone who makes her feel safe, but also feel passion.  She needs someone she can be vulnerable with most of all.  And that wasn’t Bob, it was never supposed to be Bob.  The Duffers have gone on record about why they killed him off: because he would have interfered with the Duffers intended endgame. The endgame being that Joyce find this partner/parental figure for her boys, with someone else.

In my opinion, even IF Bob had lived, even IF given that opportunity, the two of them wouldn’t have made it. Joyce probably would have moved with him to Maine. But then she would have woken up one day, looked over at him, and realized that she was only with him because he was a good guy and helped her with her boys, not because she was in love with him. And it would have been over. Jonathan saw it, and it’s why he didn’t approve of the relationship.  And I think it’s why Joyce is carrying his death so hard: she didn’t *really* love him, the way she thinks she should have, the way he loved her, and the guilt of that, of him dying for her and the Party, of the helplessness she felt watching him die (and that hope he represented for her crumbling away), is crushing her.

Unfortunately, Bob’s purpose has kind of gotten lost in the weeds after s3. By allowing him to achieve this God-like status, it’s like an expectation has been created that no one can live up to: the Perfect Guy.™  I’ve been seeing, more and more, certain parts of the fandom turning Bob into a battering ram used against Jopper as a ship, and particularly Hopper as a character.  Using Bob as a juxtaposition to try to promote a narrative of Hopper being an awful guy and/or as a partner for Joyce is (besides being passive aggressive) a false comparison. Hopper is at the inherent disadvantage of being a primary character.  We know what all his faults, vices, weaknesses, and traumas are. And he isn’t just carrying his own trauma. He carries El’s and he carries Will and Joyce’s without complaint, because he loves them. The casualties of this are his peace of mind and his emotional stability.  Bob didn’t have to carry any of that, grapple with any of that (as far as we know) and we don’t know what his faults are. IF placed in Hopper’s shoes, would Bob be a different guy, too?

So, to the first Anon, the post on Reddit saying Bob is Will’s father figure is a prime example of this: it does discount Hopper and is intended to do so specifically to try to paint Hopper in a bad light. Jonathan just ends up as collateral damage within the confines of the false comparison being drawn. Bob did act as a temporary father figure to Will, he gave him advice, he tried to be a support system for him.  But so has Hop.  Hopper traded El’s life for Will’s. Brought him back to life in TUD.  Went to the appointments at HNL for nearly a year to be a support for Will and Joyce. Carried him out of HNL in S2 and helped El close the gate, in part, to save him. The comparison turns all of this into a zero-sum game when it isn’t one and when they are two different characters with two different roles to serve.

So, I think Jopper was always going to happen. The reason why is that Hopper DOES fulfill what Joyce needs, he just does so imperfectly. But that’s the beautiful thing about it, and it’s realistic.  It’s a journey for the two of them, a journey that involves Joyce putting Bob’s ghost to rest (by saving Hop when she couldn’t save Bob) and Hopper finding a way to cope with his past and atone for some of his wrongs.  Even IF Bob had lived, I still think Jopper would eventually have found their way to each other. It started with Bob, it just isn’t supposed to end with him and treating Bob as if he is something he’s not doesn’t change the narrative.

Tldr Bob is easily placed on a pedestal because we don’t know much about him. I don’t think he was right for Joyce, nor was he intended to be, and his death was inevitable as a result.  Comparing him to Hopper defeats the limited purpose he served within Joyce’s arc and using him to create fandom drama bothers me.

Thank you for the asks!

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 21 - The PTSD is strong with this one & we need more braincells

Hello hello! Welcome to the commentary. How’s everyone? I’m frozen solid because it’s mid-June in Spain and yet we had 11°C yesterday. Fucking awesome!

I AM NOT WEARING MASCARA SO I CAN CRY ALL I WANT. I DONT KNOW IF THATS GOOD OR BAD THO.

Can I just take a second to appreciate how much this big strong powerful men emote? I mean, I know this isn’t western media where the tough guy can’t show emotions, and I don’t know that eastern media has the same hangups about men emoting but just... it’s so refreshing.

Huaisang bb you’re so sweet.

Oh, oh the PTSD is strong with this one.

Also, bless both JC and NHS, they absolutely noticed WWX flinch and, in their own ways, went and steamrolled over it so WWX wouldn’t feel scrutinised.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YALL THAT I GOT A KITTEN ON MY LAP. (She’s kneading my boob, which, ow, but...)

*BICHEN GRIIIIIIIP*

How do y’all think the guards go deliver bad news to WRH? Like do they paper-rock-scissor it? Draw straws?

NMJ did you have to?

And once again I wonder what would’ve happened if JFM had let sect leader Yao kick it.

Ughvhfnevus it’s this clown. Same as with Su She, if you see a bunch of screaming it’s just me not wanting to listen to Jin ZiXun.

The Nies: let’s throw a banquet to honour WWX’s return

Every asshole there: *gossips about WWX while in the room with him*

Once again I wish I could transmigrate (and speak mandarin lol) and just start delivering tongue lashings.

Listen, I have no idea how to play Guqin, but I did play the guitar for years and even from here I can see how much YiBo’s hands don’t match the melody. Nothing against him but why does this always happen? I know they got classes, so was the music not written by that time or something? Because one thing is not hitting the correct notes, another is plucking slow notes when the tempo is much faster.

JC: Since yours and LWJ’s unhappy separation...

My dumbass: do you mean breakup? *eyebrow waggle*

You will pry my “JC knows his brother is pinning after LWJ, he probably doesn’t want to know anything else” hc out of my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch.

WWX: *spouts a bunch of misdirection to avoid giving JC a straight answer*

JC: Bull-fucking-shit.

Should I count how many times WWX PTSDs all over the place or would you like me to leave your hearts intact? That’s two so far.

Ok ok, I feel that, if someone with a bit less trauma and a bit of insight (NHS maybe?) had seen the bit where ChenQing fucking hurts Shijie thing would’ve gone differently. I mean, yes, LWJ keeps warning WWX that this shit is gonna fuck him up, but as I said in my previous commentary LWJ also has the communication skills of a hermit crab so that wouldn’t work, and JC would be too wound up and WWX too busy trying to conceal his lack of golden core for that conversation to go anywhere. But if someone who WWX knows is a good egg (I’m not gonna say trusts bc paranoia) had sat him down and told him “your new instrument that you use for your new form of cultivation just hurt the person you love most please be careful when you use it.” I think it would’ve worked wonders towards his health overall.

I know Shijie says it’s like Zidian, but she’s not working with the fact that this thing is made for and by the Dark Side of the Force and I’m sorry but I can’t help but see ChenQing as a bit of a horrocrux almost. Or like, if you like me think the Burial Mounds is an Entity, something that’s a bit more sentient that it lets on.

Speaking of reputations and NHS being a good egg, I have oh-so-many ideas (I won’t say plot bunnies because I can’t write for shit) in which NHS for Reasons (time-travel? Letter from the future? His massive brain?) realises just how much damage WWX is doing to his public image. And he might be a sheltered dandy, but he saw what being the son of a sex worker did to Meng Yao despite how hard he worked (I’m assuming he doesn’t know about the whole betrayal business). This is way fucking worse, like hell is he going to let one of his best friends paint a target on his back. So he pulls back his sleeves, engages his slytherin brain and proceeds to lay down a plan to throughly destroy WWX’s reputation as a powerful genius.

I’m guessing LWJ and JC protest, and maybe WWX, and NHS just hits them with “do you want him respected or alive?” And they shut tf up. He glues himself to WWX, and brings up as many instances in which their behaviour can be compared as he can (we got drunk and punished at cloud recesses, we slept in class, we skipped to go fishing, I don’t carry my sword either). And, because assholes be assholes, people like Sect Leader Yao or Clown Cousin are quick to start spouting their own derogatory bullshit and thus WWX the untamed powerful prodigy dies a fiery death. Now he’s just a mouthy kid with a quick mind that “does tricks instead of battle” (I’ll never get bored of using that Thor quote). I also like to think that people who personally know WWX and are not pieces of shit go give NHS a tongue lashing for messing with what they thought was his friend, NHS takes that as a test of good eggness and bring them into the plan. Soon the whole Cloud Recesses class is swearing up, down, left, right and centre that all the shit WWX has ever successfully pulled is just an insane amount of luck and quick thinking.

I don’t know how would they work him into the battlefield (disguise? Mask?) to unleash his demonic cultivation but that’s Plot and I don’t do that.

Also, because I’m a terrible human being I want to say that people assume LWJ is on “pretty but useless” WWX like white on rice because *insert derogatory comment about being good in bed and sexual favours*. Because y’all know the assholes here are Like That. And WWX is horrified because holy fucking shit he’s gonna drag LWJ’s reputation down, he can’t have people thinking HGJ is ok with having him as a concubine pretty much. But before he can act LWJ politely all but confirms that yeah, he’s tapping that, y’all wish you were but he doesn’t share and none of y’all are good enough for his Wei Ying anyway. CUE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM INDEED TRASH FOR THAT TROPE.

Muahahahaha y’all thought I was gonna devolve into my personal hcs and not include my fave trope? Shouldn’t y’all know me better by now?

(Btw I like this bit ^ so I might polish it a little and post it separately as well, just a warning if you find yourself reading an eerily similar post by me)

WuJi is playing and LWJ is pining so much. Also, if LWJ did not just realise that, just like Yu the Great, WWX had no other option but tame resentful energy I’ll eat my blanket.

I refuse to believe Jiang Yanli didn’t become the unofficial war camp therapist/sounding board/only sane person/everyone’s mum/I just need a hug and a corner to cry in peace. There are not enough fics about Shijie being her gentle BAMF self while in the camp and it’s a pity. My crops are dying y’all!

Also, I will fight anyone who scoffs at Shijie being the epitome of the “gentle woman who cooks and waits for the men to come back from war”. Look at her mum, do you think it is easy for a kid (she was a kid in the flashback when WWX ran away) to see that day in and day out, to have that as a “role model” and decide that she was not going to be like her mum? That she didn’t like what she saw in her so she was going to be kind and gentle? And do you think it is easy for a person barely in their twenties to deal with years of verbal and psychological abuse for again, being gentle and kind, and not grow a hard shell of bitterness to protect themselves? And to keep being gentle and kind while at war, with your parents dead and your siblings unraveling before your very eyes? Shijie is so fucking strong and I love her.

Hey look, the White Walkers!

“Resentful energy is just energy” ok, valid. But my dude, you’ve got black ghost smoke coming out of you and can hear people screaming in your head. I’m not saying it is evil, like someone’s uptight set in his ways arrogant uncle; but it sure as shit ain’t healthy.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s a Clown Cousin scream btw)

Ok ok, just one little thing: IF SOMEONE ELSE CALLS WWX WEI YING AS A SHOW OF DISRESPECT IMMA SCALP THEM.

...are those crows eating that man alive? Yikes on bikes.

(Assume my comment about YiBo’s Guqin playing also goes for Xiao Zhan and his flute. I can’t play the flute but the tempo doesn’t match his fingers)

I’m just gonna say it, I think 3zun (well, 2zun as of now) suspect shit went down badly for WWX, that’s two questions by both of them in a very soft conciliatory tone. They are genuinely interested/worried about the topic, and don’t seem to come off as chiding or judgemental. I mean WWX is a weirdo irreverent kid and they’re sect leaders, they outrank him so much it’s ridiculous. I’m also counting the fact that both their baby brothers like him towards them being so kind. But I also think WWX just triggers all their big brother instincts the second he walks in.

Oh there’s a thought, Shijie, Wen Qing, NMJ and LXC take a look at everyone’s shitty parents and just decide to adopt everyone.

What happened at Yiling was a traumatised teenager (is WWX even 20?) PTSDing all over the place with the Dark Side of the Force whispering in his ear and an all powerful trinket at his disposal. Not saying I approve of all the torture and murder but he clearly isn’t revelling in them.

That is some outstanding bit of big-brothering on LXC’s side and I love it. Also, my dumbass just realised LWJ probably wasn’t quoting WWX when he was being punished (what is white what is black?) I think he was quoting his big brother. Which is magnitudes deep too, but in a different direction and I might love that scene even more.

Ok fuck it, I’m gonna tangent. So I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 15-18. He alienated me from my friends, sunk my self-esteem to the molten core of the earth, tried to convince me my parents were abusive and encouraged (aka threatened manipulated and cajoled) the slow tanking of my high school marks. I have A Problem when I see media where someone latches onto their significant other and everything they are shifts towards that person. Now, love, true genuine love, is powerful, and I believe it can be the catalyst for shifting your world-view for the better. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with people sticking with their romantic partner if it is clear their previous “family” is so much shit. I don’t have a problem with LWJ coming out of his shell and defying corrupt precepts because his love for WWX made them see they were wrong, or getting sassy and unrepentant during his punishment (I have a problem with the punishment bc that’s abuse but...). But I do side-eye WangXian being the only thing in their orbit. People need people, and WangXian have other good people around them. So I kind of love that yes, WWX showed him the system was corrupt, but it is the words of his brother he is sticking by to the defy said system.

Let’s go back to our scheduled slew of held pinning glances shall we?

LXC after That awkward run-in: WangJi I wasn’t gone that long, what the fuck did you two oblivious pining idiots do?

(LXC has “bitching” tea sessions with Shijie and you can’t convince me otherwise)

LWJ: *is being dramatic and not knocking on WWX’s door*

Me: oh my god you fucking idiot

Shijie: *walks in*

Me: oh thank god someone with a braincell.

Ah yes, there we go triggering WWX’s paranoia again. Why would he get a break.

OH MY GOD YOU PAIR OF FUCKING IDIOTS. THATS IT, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT.

@ LWJ: bitch wtf was that? I know you’re shit at talking but have you thought about writing it down? Letters anyone? It worked for mr. Darcy.

(Yes LWJ is mr darcy and now I want an au where LWJ writes WWX letters and just pours everything in them, WWX finds them, any everything is sunshine and rainbows)

While this bullshit fight/misunderstanding is all on LWJ’s shoulders, I’m also going to scream at WWX. Because yes, he is in PTSD hell, but he trusted LWJ before, and yet he can’t get past his perceived notion of LWJ’s character (and his own inadequacies) to trust him again and ask for help. Plus, you know, he thinks he doesn’t deserve he’ll bc *waves hand at WWX’s trauma conga line*

These episodes can’t be good for my BP.

Thanks for reading!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: Seto Kaiba's First Kidnapping

It’s Christmas vacation, I have Mannheim Steamroller on repeat, so much chocolate just an arms reach away from me. And I have purposely given myself nothing to do as an attempt to teach myself to do nothing.

So lets watch something weird and revisit Zero.

For those new here, I have been also reviewing most of Season Zero. If you don’t know what that is, you can my recaps in order by clicking this link here.

And like last time, I am not actually affiliated with Team Millennium, and I hope they don’t mind that I am capping their episode. You can find them on Youtube where they are slowly redubbing this season into English, and um--this next episode is the last episode they have! So I don’t know how I’m going to recap the rest?

Probably the same way I did in the first episode where it’s a lot less dialogue and more just...my reaction to it.

And, as always, my disclaimer for the new people that this was made in the 90′s and based off of the OG manga and it is...not the same show. It’s problematic. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s a counter-culture anime from the 90′s. Though this episode is pretty tame, honestly. Weird, but tame.

So, we start off the episode with a very lovingly drawn sky, not sure why it’s on THIS show but it’s here. This post apocalyptic sunset.

And staring directly into this sun going supernova is Seto Kaiba in his green hair, just brooding...

Not sure how he has this view from his Pemberly style mansion, but I dunno, maybe the city is visible from the backyard, or Seto just has really good vision. Either way don’t worry about it, we see Seto vibe out and visualize weird stuff all the time.

So, spurned by his hate for his classmate that beat him in cards once, Seto decides it’s time to enact his revenge by...what sounds a lot like some weird Lord of the Rings Lore and I dunno if it’s a bad translation or I just don’t really know what the hell he’s going off about because I never read the Yugioh version of the Silmarillion. Probably both.

See, while the first couple episodes of this show have different variations on Youtube, this one really only had the Team Millennium version in English (which is fine, there’s just some confusing things) and then the other version I saw skipped half of the episode because I guess they decided this part was boring or something. So forgive the fact that I’m flying on the seat of my pants here and I assume y’all will know all the deets I don’t know. For once, my contribution will be...kind of a lot less words.

So lets get right to it.

(read more under the cut)

Seto, who is in so much denial from Seasons 1-4, that I’ve headcanoned is actually cursed to never admit magic is real, has decided to call upon the (checks notes)

4 Game Masters

Yeah, that’s a new mechanic, these are a thing now. Don’t worry if you never heard of them before, I’ve been capping this show and I also have never heard of the legendary 4 magical Game Masters either.

So at this point these statues start glowing all creepy, and because it’s Yugioh I just kinda assumed...they’d do something.

I’m starting to think that maybe that was supposed to be symbolic, actually. Maybe there was never actually magic in the statues. Maybe it’s part of Seto hallucinating, as always. This whole show kind of runs on being a sort of metal fever dream whenever people get intense about games, so I’m probably not supposed to align it with any established magic laws anyway. It’s just I never know when things are real or just aesthetics, which I enjoy, quite a bit, that it’s open ended--but still it’s somewhat confusing as to if these gargoyles are...a thing now or were just always set dressing to kind of remind us of the cards that come later in the episode.

But, remember the spooky indoor gargoyles in your mind, keep it there, these menacing gargoyles over a fiery sunset...

OK now lets meet the real villain.

There he is. Our villain. And his name? Ripley Sheldon.

MAN to go from spooky gargoyles to Ripley Sheldon. There’s a name. That’s a name all right. I’ve only seen one episode of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon is a name forever ruined for me.

So--sidestory--this one time, my friend was at a wedding in Santa Cruz, which is a pretty beachy hippie town that always smelled like weed before it was legal, and there was just...a doll at the wedding. My friend was seated at a dinner party table just right next to this doll, and the family was like “Ah yes, this is the doll, you have to speak to her. She’s a member of the family.” and my friend had to suffer roleplaying with this doll for hours.

So before you’re like...there’s no way grown ass adults are this weird with dolls in public.

Yes. It happens.

Ah, and it’s the first instances of the Kaiba Corp logo and it’s the same. Complete with helicopter, because that Logo is never done until it’s surrounded by a fast military vehicle of some sort.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh great.

Yo remember that one episode where Yugi almost got his legs chopped off by Arcana and Arcana’s wife was being held behind a curtain, and at the end of the episode Arcana pulls back the curtain and his wife was a manikin the whole time and her head fell off?

Getting those vibes.

Back at school, Miho is busy being the most manipulative human being, this time with losing at cards. Like y’all I am TRYING to give Miho the benefit of a doubt here, but it seems even the translators hated Miho so much they had her refer to herself in the 3rd person. I am trying, really I am, sorry to everyone who loves Miho, I will leave that door open as I watch these--that maybe Miho will...grow on me.

But not this episode.

And then this happened. I guess from the breeze of Honda leaning over too far.

Believe it or not, Yuugi’s vertigo will come back later in this very episode. This whole bizarre scenario was just foreshadowing.

But for reals, Yuugi is so FRAIL in Season Zero. While I appreciate the contrast between Yuugi and Yami Yuugi, I gotta recognize how much Yugi has evolved over 4+ seasons because Yuugi is just...eggshells. Every part of him is polite little eggshells.

But in contrast, you have Anzu who is ready to fight in every single scene she’s in and I’m OK with that.

That and the very clear romantic direction that is just...simple. It’s very simple in Season Zero. That’s nice.

Anzu isn’t even possessed by two ghosts. In fact, between Anzu and Yuugi right now, there are 0 ghosts. So weird. So kosher.

Speaking of weird,

Y’all, I have no explanation for this. I only know so much Kanji.

The translation I watched tried so very hard to do what they could with this, and kudos to them, but...this is what happens with translation, it’s just a very hard job sometimes. So I get how they decided to form this joke into English, but if anyone is like a Japanese speaker and gets the pun that was clearly happening here, feel free to youknow, share the knowledge.

Unfortunately the undubbed episode that exists on Youtube that I found edited out this part so they didn’t have to try and translate it, lol. Either way, I appreciate Orange Jounouchi a lot, as well as the background squids on Squid Jounouchi.

Can you imagine just being in high school, and you get summoned to the Nurses Office? Can you even imagine what rumors would start from that? Like I know Seto wants revenge against Yuugi through cards, but I think he just did. I think he did like maybe one of the worst things you can do to a High Schooler just now. May as well page over the intercom that Yuugi has to pick up his yeast infection ointment.

And this is where we meet...a ridiculous satire. This 30 year old beautiful woman flirting with a child disaster who cannot balance while seated on a low chair.

And predictably, Yuugi lost because things just got THAT weird and awkward. Dunno if the translators put that in there for fun, or if that’s honestly how it was in the original. My bet it was probably exactly that weird in the original. Mostly because this show has a lot of “stranger danger” set ups to teach little children to never trust bad adults and this just seemed like exactly that type of set-up. Don’t trust the overly nice nurse or she’ll steal your cards in a game, kids.

After this really awkward card game (and I’m not going to bother to dive into it because I don’t talk about the card mechanics here), we find out...that Seto’s just been staring at them...the entire time.

Like it has such a voyeuristic vibe to it, it really makes you wonder about Seto’s whole deal just an awful lot. Like Season 1-4 doesn’t really ship Yugi/Kaiba, in my opinion (and just my opinion, I know how y’all feel about the ship and that is a-ok, all ships are welcome here)...but Season Zero ships A LOT. It’s not a serious ship by any means, it’s clearly a crack ship, but they...very clearly know what they’re doing with Seto being this obsessed with Yuugi in this way, omg. It just sounds like a kink to me.

So, ways to beat Yuugi Muto:

steal his stuff halfway through the game, try to kill yourself, rock paper scissors, try to kill Joey Wheeler, or dress up a sex doll like a nurse and have a gross old man have it play cards while he makes a sexy lady voiceover.

(Y’all I’ve been to my share of arcades in my life and I think I’ve only seen like 6 pinball tables total. Do good arcades only exist on TV? I think it’s all a lie.)

Then, because I guess this episode wasn’t going anywhere, Yuugi goes to the arcade to play some video games. The video game is unimportant, and it’s never been brought up before, but he’s dead set on finding it. Because unlike Yugi, Yuugi just doesn’t really have a goal in this series so he just kind of flutters around until someone tells him what to do.

TBH that’s a pretty 90′s thing for a show or a movie to do. To have characters just exist and have things happen to them, but in all, they’re just...wandering. So it’s not so much a knock on the show, it’s just that sometimes it’s a little of a transition to go from a goal being something physical, like finding the lost city of Atlantis before every human’s soul is absorbed into the great Leviathan, to the goal being more of a mental acceptance--Yuugi just learning to accept this curse he doesn’t even know he has yet, and trying to find acceptance in his group of friends.

With Yuugi, we’re kind of just watching his daily life, which is mostly watching him try and sneak games into every spare moment that his local adult has turned around. It has a very slice of life feel to it, but minus the near constant innuendo slice of life tends to have (at least the ones that have been recommended to me)

Now, because this is a show about people getting a real EXTREME comeuppance every time they break the law, what will happen to Yuugi for ignoring his Grandpa’s wishes and going to the arcade before going home?

First, we meet this mushroom haired person.

That’s right kids, NEVER stop by the arcade on the way home from school--1.) The local arcades are almost always 90% boring racing games and busted shooters that came out on the Nintendo 64 when I was a child and 2.) You will get abducted.

And then we get this face swap.

Kaiba just really loves dress-up. No wonder he was hanging out with a guy super into dolls. And like, I went into before how Seto Kaiba is always doused in facsimile energy. He loves faking it up, and apparently that’s been true since Zero.

He introduces that he will have four challenges from four Game Masters and uh so welcome to the...I don’t where this is, but a weird place full of dolls that must exist somewhere in Domino.

I guess this is to make it seem like they have an audience to watch Yuugi fail but even still...what?

So we get kind of a mirror to the scene at the beginning with Miho crying and Honda telling Yuugi to apologize for beating her, except replace Miho with Seto and Honda with this guy who really likes dolls (and Miho is a lot like a cursed doll). Like, if there were a theme to this episode it’s “grow up and stop apologizing when you beat someone in a card game” which isn’t a terrible theme, especially in this show that is about Yuugi learning how to adult.

In fact the “grow the hell up” theme is so strong we have a villain who is just...a big baby who carries dolls around. Kinda makes you wonder if the show would have eventually had Yuugi just...grow out of toys and games completely for the finale. Like in the Yugioh we have now, he can’t, because first off they licensed a hell ton of toys, but also because Yugi does games for his actual job. Even if Pharaoh was gone, Yugi still has to play games all the time. In this case, he could just...be using the games to learn how to do adult things, which is actually why we give kids games in the first place.

But, speculation aside, it’s at this point that a card play knocks Yuugi off of his chair and he passes out. Despite the fact that this isn’t a Shadow game and there...shouldn’t be any magic present. In fact, I don’t think any part of this game in this episode required opening the door of darkness. When he switches to Yami shortly after falling off of his own chair he’s like...yeah this is fine. Seems all above board. No need to kill anybody

And then apparently there’s a type of Dual Monster’s card I was unaware of.

A doll-type.

So I looked it up, is there a doll type card in Yugioh?

And it seems like there’s a lot of dolls, but not like...a type, as far as I can tell. Again, I don’t play this game, I’m only here for the plot and this one just seemed like they really had to reach for Yuugi to have just the right type of card to play.

And again, because this wasn’t a Shadow Duel, our loser just kind of walks away...all the way back to Britain, I guess.

And Seto just stands there behind a window in a rainstorm to allude to his many unshed salty tears, and it cuts to Miho who I guess has learned not to cry when she loses to Yuugi now.

And then she pulls out an absolutely winning tactic. This would win, actually. It’s actually genius.

And that is a very strong

From me. Wow. No thanks. I actually don’t want to see Yuugi do a kissy face ever again, thank you.

Half of you loved that though. This is fine. We’re all different.

Anyway, I assume the game was never played, or Miho won and the show just decided not to show it. If Season Zero Yuugi is a Yuugi that makes out then...that is...shocking. Then again, we’re only like...a third of the way through? I think?

Anyway, it’s...after Christmas because I went out of town for a spell, but I’ll just...post this now. Last post before the new year.

I’ll see y’all in 2020!

[makeste]

more discussion about BnHA 237, and the “bystander effect”

Makeste, it’s been hinted for a long time now that Tomura had personally experienced the bystander effect when he was younger. When he had his little therapy talk with Midoriya at the mall he was pissed at how the people around him were just going about their lives and ignoring other people’s problems, thinking only about themselves. And when Midoriya pointed out that a hero would arrest him, he brought up that although anybody’s quirks could let them fight back and perhaps stop him, no-one would do so if he went on a rampage- their complacency and trust in hero society meant that they couldn’t conceive of such a thing happening to them, and so they would default back to letting heroes or the authorities arrive and save them, rather than saving themselves. Like sheep to a slaughter, they just couldn’t bring themselves to act, because they would rather support a peaceful society that protects them than willingly fully endanger themselves.

I actually liked that Horikoshi made it clear that some people were willing to help Tenko, so it wasn’t that Tenko coincidentally wandered into a street full of uncaring assholes, but his ghoulish appearance was a major factor in driving off the help he so desperately wanted. Just, looking at him, you can see the kid’s gone through something horrible, and if they got involved, they might have risked whatever caused it to happen to them next. They were scared of him, and didn’t want to risk getting involved in something they weren’t equipped to handle. Better to leave it to police, or authorities who have trained for similar situations and can protect themselves. Whereas the ‘defenceless’ citizen could tell at a glance that Tenko was something beyond their ordinary lifestyles, an unspoken threat to their peace and safety. Maybe some did call the police and authorities and Tenko had wandered off. But you can see why, for a society that, because of the whole ‘restrict your quirk and don’t perform heroic actions without a licence’ stuff, has been taught that they’re supposed to act normal and not get involved in dangerous situations or criminal activity, helping Tenko was too personally involving for those citizens.

You also got a hint of that when Tomura was restrained at the bar- the flashback’s words even spell out that “before long a hero will…everyone said things like that, but they all ignored you, didn’t they?” Maybe AFO had a hand in helping Tenko get isolated here. He could have had a subtle quirk that manipulated their emotions and fears to drive them to ignore Tenko, or he could have simply just used his connections to stifle any calls or reports of Tenko’s appearance to the proper authorities, and left him in the ‘care’ of the nearby public. Personally, my money’s on the latter. Either way, his appearance here definitely rings too good to be true- he was probably shadowing Tenko whilst he walked through the streets- but I get the impression that he honestly didn’t do much to make the general public act the way they did towards Tenko. He just let the boy experience the isolation and apathy of a society focused on ignoring danger unless there’s someone authorised to handle it.

It’s actually something that’s pretty common in some Japanese media. There’s a great example of this in the Anime ‘Psycho Pass’, set in a futuristic society that’s kinda a mashup of Minority Report and Mega-City One, wherein a city-wide monitoring system called the ‘Sybil System’ constantly monitors people’s emotional and mental states. Should they exceed an accepted threshold that denotes how likely the person is to committing a crime even in advance of them committing any crimes, that person is pursued by law enforcement and either arrested or executed, so they don’t spread undue stress and emotional instability to people around them and cause more people to become ‘crime co-efficient’.

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(interrupting here to add a *spoiler warning* for season one of Psycho-Pass, just in case anyone is planning on watching it at any point, which I would recommend actually; it’s a pretty good show.)

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 The main Villain of Season 1 is a psychopath that, due to his unique mental mind-set and view of people, doesn’t register as9)crime co-efficient when thinking about or committing crimes, rendering him effectively invisible to the system and incapable of being judged or sentenced under it, which is a problem since it’s illegal to hurt others unless authorised by the system. Despite this advantage, much like Shigaraki, the villain can tell how screwed up the world he lives in is, and seeks to awaken others from their blind dependence on the Sybil system, to think and act for themselves. In ep 14, he starts distributing helmets that shield the wearer from the Sybil System’s monitoring, allowing others to commit crimes to their heart’s content. This leads to a harrowing scene where a helmet-wearing stalker, in the middle of a busy, crowded street in public, walks up to his target and beats her to death with a hammer, in full view of everyone. No-one does a thing to stop him, their dependence and complacency making them think it’s some kind of performance art piece, incapable of thinking that it’s anything sinister or a problem for them to take action against. Even as the woman screams for help, they don’t lift a finger, and the Sybil monitoring robots actually start cornering the victim as she bleeds out, confronting her on how her emotional stability has exceeded the acceptable threshold, and she’s now crime co-efficient, even as she dies.

This isn’t the last time the Villain performs social experiments to demonstrate the inherent flaws of humanity in a society that lets a system control and define their actions. He lures the protagonist to an isolated room with a chasm in the middle, no way for them to cross to him, but no obstacles on his side to hide behind. Thanks to his invisibility, even as he speaks of killing more people, admits to his guilt, and tells the protagonist that he will keep hurting more people to prove his point, the Government-issued gun keyed to the Sybil system won’t fire on him. The villain has located and loaded an ordinary gun and left it on the protagonist’s side, challenging them to use it to shoot him dead. The system is incapable of judging him, so the only way for the protagonist to save lives is to take action without it, to act on their own initiative and do the right thing, even if it’s illegal in the eyes of society. The villain is fully willing to risk his own life if It means he can wake one person up for their society-wide bystander syndrome and make them act and think for themselves.

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(END PSYCHO-PASS SPOILERS)

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 Honestly, I’d love it if, going forward, Shigaraki took similar steps to underline the inherent flaws in a hero-worshiping society, running social experiments that force heroes to avoid participating and ordinary civilians to make the heroic actions and save the day, just like the twin ferry scene from ‘The Dark Knight’, perhaps closely monitoring everything so he can publicize how they made the correct decisions if the government tries to condemn them for taking illegal actions to save themselves. It would be a great way of causing an indirect attack on ordered society. And freeing up people to use their quirks more freely would also tie into the MLA’s vision of society, so that could be a case for what’s left of the army to work with Tomura for now, rather than get steamrolled by Giganto again and their cause forgotten.

If that’s what ends up happening, then that could be the main cause for Deku and Shigaraki to clash time and again against each other, as Midoriya keeps interfering in these experiments and performing heroic deeds to save those in need. Because the one thing that’s always been consentient about Deku- powerless or not, legal or not, he will step in to save someone regardless of the reasons not to get involved. It’s a shame, really, that Tenko and Midoriya didn’t meet when they were kids- you know Deku would have helped him because he needed it, regardless of the potential danger.

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first off, I just want to clarify that I do understand this scene, and I understand that the series has been clearly hinting at a scenario like this almost from the start. I can also understand and accept the logic behind it. it’s just that I dislike it. I understand the point it’s trying to make; I just disagree with it. I think it’s cynical and dystopian. I think the world is better than that, and I think people are better than that. I’m not gonna go into a whole rant, but there’s this psychological phenomenon called negativity bias that basically means that negative things tend to leave more of a psychological impact in general than positive things. put that together with the constant bombardment of negative shit in the media and online and basically everywhere, and over time that tends to lead toward people perceiving the world as being worse than it actually is. this is something that really bothers me about modern online culture, actually, because the overall effect it has on a lot of people (myself included) is to leave them feeling overwhelmed and depressed, and depression in turn drains your energy and makes it more difficult for people to actually do anything about the bad shit. which, I suspect, is intentional on the part of the institutions responsible for most of said media. let’s energize the far right, and dishearten and discourage the left.

but anyways, that���s getting off track and veering towards territory I don’t have the spoons to discuss further lol. okay, so back on topic. a lot of people pointed out that we don’t actually know whether anyone called the police or not, and it’s very possible that they did. this is a fair point. as for AFO subtly having a hand in influencing the passerby’s emotions as well, I’m all for that too. that was always my original theory. because it’s always been clear that, at least from Tomura’s perspective, this is exactly what went down -- something bad happened, and no one tried to help him. we’ve always known that was the case. I just hoped that it wouldn’t prove to actually be the case, and that we would learn that Tomura had misunderstood, or that AFO had intervened. I didn’t hope for this because I thought it had canon support and was logical; I hoped it because I, personally, disagree with the supposition that the average person, when faced with a situation in which a child is in trouble and needs help, would not help, regardless of the potential danger to them. my own personal belief, supported by my admittedly limited personal experience, is that they would.

lastly, I have seen Psycho-Pass (the first season, anyway; I need to check out season 2 one of these days) and enjoyed it a lot, actually. but it’s one of those things I enjoy simply as a what-if, kind of like The Hunger Games. it’s great entertainment if you’re in the mood for some dark and gritty stuff. but it’s a very 1984 type of worst-case scenario government-controls-your-thoughts type of story, and not something I personally would go “oh yeah, I could see this happening in real life” while watching it. it’s more of a fun cautionary tale warning people about the potential consequences of taking extremes too far, even in the name of the greater good. plus it has these really awesome guns that transform and look really cool and splatter the shit out of people. and Amano did the character designs, so if you liked the character designs in KHR it’s definitely worth a watch for that alone, just putting that out there. 

anyway. I’ve completely run out of time, so I’ll just post this and I apologize for not wrapping up my argument neatly. or, you know, at all sob.

[sage-nebula]

I had some time to kill at work so I filled out this meme a friend shared in the group chat for PokéAni (since PokéAni is one of the fandoms the majority of us in the group chat have in common). I can also do it for other fandoms if people want, but know that it’ll probably come tomorrow since I’m at home now and can do things like play video games without interruption lol.

Anyway, a few explanations:

I’ve waxed on at length about my love for Alan so many times I don’t think I need to do it again. He’s the best, period.

It’s not that I hate Manon, per se, it’s more that I hate the way the fandom puts on her a pedestal while simultaneously either bashing Alan or using him as her trophy / a pedestal to boost her up. To be honest, I don’t think fanon!Manon even remotely resembles the actual character, but fandom’s treatment of her has made it so that I feel distaste every time I see her anyway. I’ve been thinking about doing a character exploration fic to reclaim her, but I’ve been so busy I haven’t really got the time. Either way, I really don’t like her the way her stans in the fandom do, and I also really dislike that she was never called on her bad behavior / flaws in the canon itself.

My initial dislike of May was a combination of being salty that Misty was gone (I was thirteen, okay) and also not appreciating the fact that May hated pokémon and didn’t even want to be there when it was all I had wanted for the past five years (now twenty-one years). As an adult I still think that she should have never gotten a pokémon if she didn’t like them, because you should never take responsibility for another creature’s life if you don’t actually want that responsibility, but May did grow past that and develop as a character and now I think she’s great.

I know the basics about anime!Iris, but I haven’t seen nearly enough BW to really be able to capture her voice, I feel, and I wish I could capture her voice more so I could use her more actively in fics (particularly one I’d like to write where she visits Kalos post-XYZ and has an adventure with Alan). But from what I do know of her anime!Iris is just as cool as her game counterpart and I like her a lot.

He abused Chimchar so badly that Chimchar has PTSD for life, and that’s just one of his pokémon; there’s no telling what he does to the rest. No amount of “you did well” is going to redeem him in my eyes. He can go burn with Damien and Shamus for all I care.

It’s not so much that I dislike Serena per se as it is that I feel like her character could have been handled much better than it was. I would have liked it very much if she’d come to realize that her crush on Ash was based on an idealized version of him, and that she then got to know him as a person moving forward. Whether her crush on him would remain or not isn’t really relevant; she wouldn’t be the first person to have a crush on him and I’m sure she won’t be the last, and no ships will be canon anyway so I don’t really care about that. I just would have preferred if she’d gotten to know him, who he really is, beneath the idealization, and then formed a stronger opinion from there. But she didn’t, so I’m just kind of “meh” on her. That said, her second outfit was a real winner. She looks great with short hair.

This goes for his game counterpart too, but just . . . why are his eyes Like That . . . and why does he wear a waiter’s outfit when traveling . . . Cilan just get some travel clothes, I promise you’ll feel better . . .

Again, I’ve gone on about how I relate to Alan at length before, I don’t think I need to do so again lol.

Like with the Alan answers, I’ve gone on and on about how and why I love Ash/Misty, with reasons varying from Baby’s First OTP to the fact that I just think they complement and balance each other out very well. I don’t need to write another essay about it lol.

TL;DR: There’s a huge maturity gap in addition to the age gap (she’s ten but acts eight, he’s fifteen but acts seventeen), and that’s not something you “grow past” when you interact with someone regularly. Even if Manon has a precocious crush on Alan (and it’s entirely possible, perhaps even probable, that she does), Alan returning her feelings would be creepy and gross, and given my own lived experience he’s highly unlikely to ever stop seeing her as a kid in comparison to himself because of when they met and the role he ended up playing for her (babysitter). In addition, Manon has a bad habit of steamrollering his boundaries and not ever taking “no” for an answer, and after what happened to Hari-san Alan’s guilt (even though it wasn’t his fault) will make him even more likely to let her do it, throwing another element of imbalance into their relationship that, tbh, even makes friendship for them iffy at this point (which wouldn’t be an issue had the canon had Manon take responsibility and learn from her behavior, but alas . . .). Finally, every shipper I’ve seen does things ranging from writing Lizardon out of the story because they feel threatened by his importance to Alan to reducing Alan to Manon’s trophy supporting boyfriend while she’s glorified, PLUS taking any platonic content between the two and making it all about the romantic ship no matter the wishes of the original content creator (me), so I just really cannot stand this ship and will never like it.

Delia is only a year younger than I am at this point (I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M OLDER THAN DELIA KETCHUM), but I honestly feel like I’d get along really well with her. Her food would be delicious, we both dote on our pokémon / animal companions, and honestly she seems like the type who’s a total secret badass tbh. I’d hang with Delia for sure.

On the other hand, aside from the fact that Jessie is a grown adult who stalks a child and tries to beat him up to steal his platonic soulmate, I also feel like her personality and mine would not jive well at all. It’d take only a handful of minutes of her loud, obnoxious arrogance for me to be put-off. (Not to mention the fact that she’s incredibly bossy to those around her, like . . . try to boss me about and see how well that works out for you, lol.) We just wouldn’t get along at all.