#also I can be trans and have the control and ability to make my body look like exactly how I want it to

[merildae]

Having set up my new apartment, I think I am realizing I have built for myself everything my 16year old self ever wanted.

I have a cool customized bedroom where I can

•Listen to any music I want on my radio or record player

• Read all my favorite books I’ve curated in a pretty bookcase

• Make any kind of art I want at my home studio

• A closet full of cool clothes that reflects who I am

My pantry is full of food that I like and doesn’t have a lock

I live close by to my gym and I’m the most fit and healthy I’ve ever been in my life

I’m out as trans and I’m 9 months into medically transitioning

I have a really cool job at a museum

I show my art at a gallery

I have freinds

And I have firm boundaries with my family and finally privacy and safety from their control etc etc

I think my recent birthday, this move, and Mother’s Day put me in a reflective mood and realizing I’ve made for myself a life that I used to think I could never have as a teen and I’m like safe from the hell that was my childhood home..

It’s a weird feeling. A good place to be at 28 though I think. I feel like I’ve rescued my hopeless suicidal 16 year old self

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

When it comes to cold weather, the main rule (regardless of gender or presentation) is: when in doubt, choose warmth and safety over style. 

Some basics: 

Layering is your best friend: Start with moisture-wicking base layers to keep sweat off your skin. Follow with insulating layers (like fleece or wool), and finish with a weather-resistant outer layer (like a puffer jacket or waterproof coat) to protect against wind, snow or rain.

Keep your sensitive areas warm: Make sure your hands, feet, and head are covered! Gloves, warm socks and a beanie can prevent cold-related discomfort or injuries. 

Waterproof: If you're facing snow or rain, make sure your clothes are waterproof. Wet clothes lose their insulating ability, so staying dry is a big part of staying warm! 

Reflective Gear: If you’re out in the dark or in poor visibility conditions, consider adding reflective elements to your outfit for safety.

People can react differently to temperatures. A temperature that feels super cold to you could feel comfortable to someone else, depending on what you’re used to (and some other factors). As a very basic rule, we can say: Gloves, beanies, and other cold-weather accessories typically become necessary when temperatures drop below 40°F (4°C). In more severe cold (below 32°F (0°C)), it’s even more important to wear them to protect yourself from frostbite and maintain body warmth. But it goes even in milder weather: if you feel uncomfortable or if it’s windy or damp, it’s a good idea to add these items for extra comfort.

With all that being said: Clothes are not just for safety and temperature control, they also help you express yourself - and that doesn’t suddenly change in winter. 

Dressing for cold weather doesn’t have to mean sacrificing your personal look. Whether you want to present more feminine, more masculine, or more androgynous, here are some tips to help you layer up and feel like yourself: 

(Note that these are suggestions, not hard rules. Style is highly subjective as everyone has different tastes, preferences, body types, fashion inspirations, budgets, cultural influences etc. I could suggest something here that you’d feel super uncomfortable in - if so, that’s not a sign you’re “doing it wrong”! Cherry-pick what feels right and ignore the rest) 

If You Want to Present More Feminine

Base Layers: If you want to wear skirts or dresses in winter, start with thermal leggings or tights! These can be nicely paired with cozy, long-sleeved tops or lightweight thermal shirts. (But also keep in mind that plenty of women, cis or trans, do not wear dresses all the time! Nothing wrong with choosing jeans!) 

Outer Layers: There are plenty of styles to choose from that have a feminine touch, such as a belted trench coat, a pea coat, or a long wool coat. Shawls are also excellent for adding a touch of style while keeping you warm! 

Footwear: Knee-high or thigh-high boots lined with faux fur or fleece can keep your legs warm and add a polished look to your outfit. Ankle boots with thicker socks are also a good alternative.

Accessories: Scarves, gloves, and beanies can be both practical and stylish. Knit hats or earmuffs can add a soft, cozy vibe to your look.

Style Tip: Go for a mix of fabrics like wool, faux fur, and knitwear to create texture and warmth.

If You Want to Present More Masculine: 

- Base Layers: Start with thermal undershirts or moisture-wicking base layers. Consider long underwear for added insulation beneath your pants.

- Outer Layers: There’s plenty of outerwear to choose from, like a puffer jacket, parka, or wool overcoat! (Faux) Leather or bomber jackets layered over sweaters can also add a masculine edge while keeping you warm.

- Footwear: You might want to opt for sturdy boots, such as work boots, Chelsea boots, or combat boots. Thicker socks can keep your feet warm.

- Accessories: Don’t skip out on scarves, beanies, or gloves for being “too feminine”. They can actually be great for adding a more rugged feel to your outfit! You just gotta find a color and style that fits you well. 

Style Tip: Focus on layering in a way that adds structure. Sweaters, button-ups, and jackets work great together for a sharp, put-together look. Play with dark, neutral tones and thick fabrics like wool or denim for extra warmth and style.

If You Want to Present Androgynous

- Base Layers: Neutral-colored thermal tops or turtlenecks can serve as great foundational pieces. You may want to pair these with straight-leg or loose-fitting pants that allow room for layering underneath.

- Outer Layers: Oversized coats, puffer jackets, or long trench coats can work well for an androgynous look. Try layering with oversized sweaters or fleece pullovers for extra warmth.

- Footwear: You could go for sneakers, lace-up boots, or loafers paired with warm, thick socks. But really, any pair of shoes can work for an unisex outfit. 

- Accessories: Neutral-colored scarves, simple beanies, and fingerless gloves can add to an androgynous look. Minimalist accessories like oversized scarves or gender-neutral caps are both practical and stylish.

Style Tip: Aim for a balanced mix of structured and relaxed pieces. Try loose layers on top with more fitted pants, or vice versa, to create an effortless, warm, and non-gendered appearance.

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[lunaeclipse1057-ao3]

Hi guys! I'm here to tell you about some of the stuff Project 2025 would do to America.

Number One: Making America a Christian Nation. What this means is the separation of church and state would be gone, and Trump will implement a "Bible-based system of government". Practicing other religions could be banned.

Number Two: Climate Change. Project 2025 will be completely removing most of the nation's regulations to help our environment. Abandoning ways to reduce greenhouse gases, abolishing the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, relaxing regulations on fossil fuels, encouraging fossil fuel usage, and supporting arctic drilling.

Number 3: Letting states control education. No more nationwide education, every state chooses what it wants to do. Possibility of removing accommodation plans for students who need it, no more free school meals even for free and reduced lunch plans, and the quote "Education is a private rather than a public good."

Number 4: Giving the president more power. The branches of government are supposed to balance each other out, make sure no one branch gets too powerful. This will make that a lot harder.

Number 5: Foreign Affairs. Congressional approval would not be required for the sale of military equipment and ammunition to a foreign nation. Also "The word gender would be systematically purged from all USAID programs and documents"???? "Such aid will not be allocated for helping poorer countries address the impact of climate change; rather, it will be devoted to advancing the interests of fossil fuel companies"????

Number 6: Healthcare. Removing Medicare's ability to negotiate medicine prices, denying gender-affirming care to trans people, forcing people to have a nuclear family basically.

Number 7: All of this bullshit. It's all shit, but please take a look at the last sentence of paragraph 4: "Trump has also spoken of rounding up homeless people in blue cities and detaining them in camps."

Number 8: LGBTQ community. "Proposes the recognition of only heterosexual men and women, the removal of protection against discrimination on the basis of sexual or gender identity, and the elimination of provisions pertaining to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) from federal legislation." "The goal here is to move toward colorblindness and to recognize that we need to have laws and policies that treat people like full human beings not reducible to categories, especially when it comes to race." THEN LET US BE WHO WE ARE. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

Number 9: Banning pornography. Just let people be people. We have needs. Let us be. Especially when Trump had that sneaky link that led him being charged on 34 counts.

Number 10: Abortion. Are we really going to let white males who don't know where the clitoris is decide what Women get to do with their bodies? You said in the pornography thing that it leads to the exploration of women, but isn't this doing the exact same thing?

In conclusion, Project 2025 would take away numerous rights that we deserve as human beings, including, but not limited to, having a clean environment, the right to an education, access to necessary medication, freedom of expression, sexual media, women's choice with their own bodies, and possibly freedom of religion, one of America's first amendment rights.

I'm scared. I am a queer minor with school accommodations, who has no way out of America.

I don't want to flunk out of high school because my accommodations got taken away from me.

I don't want to have a child at all, let alone before I turn 18 because I got raped and can't get an abortion because of what the government says I can and can't do with my body.

I don't want to be trapped in an area where I can barely breathe because of all the pollutants in the air.

I don't want to be discriminated against, harassed, or dehumanized because of my gender identity and sexuality.

I don't want to be forced to be a Christian.

I'm scared of my own country, and what it could do to me. I don't want to die.

Vote Blue. Or else America could be turned into a suppressive dictatorship.

Note: I will be unpinning this because there have been a lot of comments that make me think I may have said some things wrong in this post. I don't want to completely remove it, because a lot of people have reblogged it to spread information, but I will be removing it from my pin.

[yellowballoondogs]

Giving the x-men disabilities so they can suffer like me

I just think it’s cool how much people can relate to the x-men in marginalized groups no matter the group. Just like how they’re all gay, POC, religious minorities, etc.

Cyclops- Scott Summers

C’mon this is the most autistic man to ever autism

He’s got model plane sets and shit around his otherwise empty and perfectly cleaned room with the sheet corners tucked in and everything

He stopped stimming because of O’Diamonds and Sinisters abuse but started again when he got more comfortable with the o5 team. He definitely does flappy hands

He probably hyper fixated on an obscure engineering subject

photophobia- light sensitivity

Idk if it’s cannon or not but it would make sense with his brain damage and all (plus I have it and I’m projecting) it’s also an autism symptom so double whammy- his glasses will help

Migrainous stroke- basically stroke with migraines. It ties into brain damage and photophobia with migraines which would make so much sense. Frequent strokes too? Fuck yeah let’s highlight how his childhood trauma and overwhelming power effect him- how mutant powers aren’t always good.

He should have really shitty vision- canonically colorblind- wears glasses all the time so low light, his eyes basically fucking glow. This man cannot see for shit

“cut the red wire cyclops!” “They’re all red!”

Storm- Ororo Monroe

She’s canonically claustrophobic but it’s really only used as a once in awhile plot device

I think it should tie into anxiety a lot more

Ororo is the kind of person who uses a planner to manage every aspect of her day so she’s never caught of guard

She’s got only one timer set up to take her meds instead of 10 like the rest of us (she’s simply better)

She would have actual panic attacks that don’t end the second she’s out of a confined space. Full run-

For her a panic attack would cause a lot of derealization. She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she feels out of control, like she can’t breathe, dizzy, both hot and cold at the same time.

Nightcrawler-Kurt Wagner

syndactyly- fusion of fingers or toes. This is basically cannon. He’s got 2 big fingers and toes so like no explanation really needed. He’s got it even if it’s for different reasons.

This greatly effects his ability to do certain things- our boy can’t use a controller can he? How’s he meant to play Mario cart with the rest of the team ):

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome- bendy bones and stretchy skin that causes lots of joint pain

He canonical has bendy bones so like this is also half canon. Plus I’m giving my blorbo chronic pain to project.

Pretty sure there’s a Spider-Man with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too so that’s very slay.

Rouge- Anne-Marie

Hear me out- HPV It’s the whole- “I can’t touch anyone” thing

She was born with it

It causes a lot of pain for her but she hides it around people she’s not comfortable with (so really just unmasking in front of remy and her family)

Also stds just need to be a lot more normalized. And her having to be so weird about people with it fits so much with the whole “ew mutants” thing

Xavier

Yeah yeah he’s a paraplegic

They should be better about it though. No more of this curing him so often he’s like the one famous character wheelchair bound people get

Stop making him so weak, he runs a school to learn how to kick ass, man can probably box, who needs legs. They always just make him useless once someone kicks over his chair or something

Chronic migraines again

Listen hearing all those thoughts all the time can’t be all sunshine’s and rainbows. Make him suffer (this goes for all telepaths)

Gambit- Remy Lebeau

He canonically has brain damage (via lebeatomy) (haha get it)

He’s getting hit with migraines too. Making all these losers suffer

He probably also has very bad vision because of his eyes- probably not very good with light just like cyclops (likely worse)

I’m going to give him the worlds worst period cramps via dysmenorrhea. Yeah he’s trans to me I’m a romy t4t Reuther

Rapid fire listings let’s go!

Jubilee canonically has Dyscalculia- like dyslexia for numbers

Wolverine canonically has memory issues and ptsd

Magneto canonically has ptsd

Legion canonically has multiple personality disorder or DID- dissociative identity disorder. It’s not always portrayed the best but rep is rep

Angel canonically has hollow bones- I’m gonna gc him with osteoporosis

Headcanoning Madelyn Pryor with post partum depression

Scarlet witch gets head cannoned half of all the mental disorders- depression, psychosis, ptsd, and anything you wanna give her. Girl needs a staff of therapists, psychologists, and a cocktail of pills

Quicksilver gets headcannoned with ADHD. Boring I know but I’ve got it and it fits him so projection time

Let marrow have ptsd. Girl witnessed a genocide of her people and her moms death as a child. Why do they skim over that? Girl is suffering

Pyro canonically had the legacy virus which was like a big euphemism for AIDs so he gets that. Plus he also gets hit with the autism beam

Toad is autistic. No further questions

Jean grey gets the psychic migraines but I’m also giving her autism cause her relationship with Scott is nowhere near neurotypical. The biggest disability marvel gave her was liking wolverine though. He canonically smells like shit and is an asshole. I love him.

Kitty pryde gets type 1 diabetes- I cannot explain why it fits her it just does

Cable gets lupus cause he canonically had a fantasy space tech autoimmune disease so let’s just make it more realistic

Daken gets lactose intolerance (he’s fine because he doesn’t really actually eat dairy)

Iceman gets lactose intolerance (he’s not fine because he loves all things dairy)

Dust gets celiac disease

[that-hippie-user]

i pride myself in degeneracy, like an angel proud to plummet, and with a golden joy in my heart i say to you i have officially hit my lowest.

OnO so like.... did you know that if you hyperfocus on hypnosis strongly enough, you can hypnotize yourself in your sleep?

it happens very rarely for me but... yeah, it happened last night

and my brain just... did exactly what i craved, so much so i wish it was STILL in control.

half asleep in the dead of night, i felt like my nono squares were coated in pure silver. no sensation in my princess tower or the hills beyond. i was completely without the ability for pleasure sensations down there.

and... HOLY FUUF IT WAS AMAZING

@w@ YES YES YES YES YES

i wanted to be a nullo for so long, but this goes beyond that! my big girl privileges were stolen from me by my Dream Mistress!

my pleasure sense gone, my parts rendered worthless, unable even to enjoy being USED.

🤤 i now realize my deepest wish, what i want more than anything in this world.

i wanna be a virgin for the rest of my LIFE

i want my princess parts removed. X3 that much was a given as a nullo, but now its set in stone. THAT BEANIS GOTTA GO GIRL!!!

🤤 and i wanna be kept in diapers forever~ never again will a drop of my happy milk touch ANYTHING but my pampies~

>:3 no body shall press against mine without padding to keep me safe from their unwanted parts~ i'm embracing my desire to be a kinky Asexual dork whose ONLY interest is her fetishes

and the best part? ;3 dis is a secwet from yur Baby Luna. Nullos are a real thing in the real world. they part of the Body Modification Community, tho sometimes they also Trans.

X3 and i've heard personal testimony from AMAB Nullos... >:3 DAT YEW CAN STILL MAKE DA HAPPY MILK EVEN WITH NO PARTS!!!!

X3 yew dont neeeeeeeed them~ yew can still enjoy da rubrub no problem!

🤤 i even read an article about a cis guy who was one who found it ENHANCED his s*x life.

UwU but im not gonna have one of thooooooooooose~ cuz iiiiiiiiiiim gonna use my diapees like a good girl!!!

@w@ and now if yull excuse me, im gonna show devotion to the Mistress in my Dreams with a mantra!

good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls stay in diapees, good girls dont touch themselves, good girls satuabf shdkebjshsjsbsjsbsjsbsijsjsj

( UwU i pwomise my Dream Mistress i shall never again touch between my leggies unless i got da diapee on. i promise my body will never be used without crinkly protection. i promise to get rid of my worthless boygirl parts that were never mine anyway. i am owned mind body and soul by my fetish. i symbolically sign this contract in blood. :3 Hail Satan i guess, hehe. Atheist sacrilege for da win!!!)

[themainspoon]

One thing I haven't seen anybody else mention about Dr. Hillary Cass's whole "transition success should be judged by employment success, getting 'out of the house', marriage, and sex life, not happiness" thing is that it's a textbook example of biopower and biopolitical discourse. And I think it's important to be able to take apart what she's doing. Cass is not breaking new ground in the field of transphobia here, she's parroting some of the beliefs that have been causing issues for trans people for decades now. She's doing biopolitics.

This is Foucault theory so I'm giving a very abridged version here: Biopower is power over bodies. As Foucault writes in Vol 1 of the History of Sexuality: Power is no longer about having ultimate dominion over death, but instead about being able to control life itself. In Biopower, power has more than just the threat of death, it has access to our bodies and lives as well. When combined with the concept of the medical gaze, it can be said that medicine is no longer a body of techniques for curing illnesses, but is now an institution with the ability to define "health" and "normality".

In biopolitics, the body becomes a political object, and various technologies, political strategies, and diciplinary techniques operate upon bodies through various institutions in order to shape them and integrate them into society. Ultimately, what is defined as the healthy and valuable body is seen as necessary for the society/nation to thrive. The ideal body is the body of the "ideal citizen", one who fits definitions of "normality".

Within biopower, the purpose of trans healthcare is not to affirm gender or improve the lives of trans individuals. Instead, it is to create "healthy", "productive", "docile", and "normative" bodies that adhere with both the gender binary and understandings of the ideal citizen.

The criteria that Cass states that she thinks the success of transition should be judged by (employment, social involvement, and ability and willingness to participate within heteronormative relationship dynamics) is a list of things expected of "ideal citizens".

In the view of individuals like Cass, who funtion within biomedical discourses, transition isn't about allowing trans people to modify their bodies in ways that bring them joy, better embody their identities, and/or that allow them to feel more like themselves. Transition is instead purely about correcting percived dysfunction, to allow those percived by them as dysfunctional men and women to be transformed into normative, unproblematic, binary adhering, and productive women and men. Options like being non-binary, or using this transition technology to change your body in ways that do not align with medical understandings of binary transition, are seen as invalid, as they create disruption and non-normativity as opposed to 'curing' or 'treating' those things.

Therefore, for people like Cass it only makes sense that the success of transition would be judged by the ability of trans people to adhere to dominant gender norms, productivity, and overall normallity, as opposed to things unrelated to understandings of what "the ideal citizen" is. Y'know, things like happiness, joy, the ability to feel like oneself, etc.

One last point, and this is partially speculation on my part: But I think this is why the fact that trans people face discrimination that makes things like remaining employed and being in healthy relationships much more difficult is ignored by people like Cass. These forms of discrimination are seen as the result of the individuals failure to properly perform and embody "normality". Transphobia is therefore not percived as the fault of a patriarchal cisheteronormative society and culture, but instead a failure of the trans individual and the practice of medical transition.

If it wasn't clear, I think Dr Cass is a hack and that the discourses that inform her positions on trans health issues are not only incorrect, but also act to perpetuate bigotry and social inequality. Fuck Dr Cass, Trans Liberation Now.

[catboygirljoker]

fun writing tip: you can justify making your blorbos as good at sex as you want if you also make it depressing

i will try not to be too graphic or horny and keep it mostly to character study analysis themes core motivations plot conflicts etc type discussion. still, id really prefer that folks under 18 do not interact with me on this post or about this topic in general, thanks!

for obvious reasons this post is gonna have a cut

UNLIKE HIS DIIIIICK [EXTREMELY LOUD AIRHORNS]

. sorry i just feel like hed appreciate that joke. uh anyway

Brief discussions of: BDSM, including sadomasochism; edgeplay; derealization/dysphoria; self-destructive recklessness in a sexual context.

ok. so there's this fictional guy. and i kiiiiiiind of have a crush on him. and i'm a basic bitch, so, like, obviously, when i think about him hornystyle, i want to imagine him being good at sex.

the thing is, "good at sex" is not always a particularly interesting trait to give a character! it can often be an eyerolling power fantasy trait. like "this is my oc Chuck Dongburger he has a ten pound cock and can make a babe cum just by lookin at her" yknow. it's a trait that, handled incorrectly, is more likely to flatten conflict than create it—more likely to make stories more boring than to make them more interesting.

also, "being good at sex" isnt a magical blessing that descends upon someone by chance. it is a quality that stems from a set of experiences and traits. it is a skill that one develops, or fails to develop.

so the question is, how do i justify him being good at sex? how do i make it feel believable and interesting?

the answer is simple! make it depressing! (that is, relate it directly to the character's central themes and conflicts, and therefore make it a natural part of/inclusion in their story)

in canon, xigbar has had multiple bodies, lost his heart multiple times, allowed himself to be a vessel for darkness on multiple occasions. he has endured all of this to carry out the will of his masters. every social role we've ever seen him take has been subservient to someone else, even if it has usually also involved social power over others, too.

here are the sex/relationship headcanons i have that expand on this:

related to: gender/sexuality

bisexual. for starters. obviously. his transness i have Deep Headcanons about, but his bisexuality is just "idk im bi so hes bi hee hee"

luxu is a binary trans man who experienced severe dysphoria in his original body and never felt like that body really belonged to him in the first place. to the best of his ability he has only chosen cis male vessels, including braig. in those cases he feels extreme disconnect from his body but not [very noticeable] gender dysphoria. the only thing connecting him to his cis male bodies is his sexual characteristics. theres this great art piece that has never left my brain that conveys the idea im going for. his face his hair his bones none of those are his, none of thise feel real, none of those feel right. but what does feel right is his dick.

related to: him being Good at Sex™

he is Very Experienced. he's tried a lot of shit and had a lot of bodies and largely had nothing better to do than be a horndog and kill time suckin and fuckin. he is down for just about anything with just about anybody. he knows how bodies work and knows how to deal with the exceptions and roll with awkwardness and uncomfortableness.

he is pretty good at reading people—it's a skill he has had to develop over his lifetime. he is sometimes wrong, but usually right, and reading people, understanding them, lets him feel like he has some kind of control or power over them. this is relevant because this is part of what makes him Good at Sex. he is shockingly responsive and attentive; not completely unselfish as a lover, but he won't blindly exert his will onto the other person and expect them to respond just because he has a big dick or is going faster or harder or whatever.

related to: his backstory as luxu

sex for him is a means of exerting control over the world, proving his own competence and worth to himself and another person, gaining some simulacrum of human connection, distracting himself from his derealization, grounding himself in his body, expressing and claiming his masculinity. all things, i headcanon, he also achieves (or seeks/has sought to achieve) from keyblade mastery.

he views his bodies as disposable, and knowing that he can just jump ship if he totals a body means that he processes pain differently than most people. not in a "all pain makes him horny" way*—it's more that pain doesn't make his self-preservation kick in the same way it does for other people. in bdsm/kink settings he is a masochist [as well as a sadist] and more reckless with edgeplay (when it comes to himself) than he really ought to be.

obviously i have specific personal motivation for wanting to headcanon this (he and his body are both Significantly Older Than Me) but i don't think he's too bothered by an age gap. some people it makes sense to me to imagine that they'd really want to date within their age and maturity range, but i think xigbar's chill as long as the person he's dating is a self-posessed adult. considering how long he's been alive, he's gonna have a significant gap in experience with ANYBODY; there isn't that much of a difference between him dating a 25 year old vs a 45 or 85 year old.

he has told close romantic partners about his Whole Deal before. it has never gone well. ("what do you mean youve been moving into random people's bodies in order to stay alive long enough to bring back a guy who intentionally manipulated his students into killing all of their students via senseless war??") they never understand and he doesn't know why they don't understand (i also headcanon him having severe cognitive dissonance vis a vis the MoM but that's a different post). his instinct is to put up a wall and go "well theyre just naive and stupid and haven't seen what i've seen, theyre too sentimental to understand this". he still keeps trying (if with less frequency) because he is desperate for someone to understand.

*i want to make this crystal clear: i do not headcanon xigbar as being automatically turned on by receiving or causing pain in every context, because he is a boss in a video game franchise where he fights teenagers. i am not comfortable sexualizing those fights!

(i do however think there are contexts where he might indulge in some "battle sadomasochism" when fighting another adult—maybe he makes it weird for them on purpose to fuck with them, maybe they're both into it and it's all foreplay, etc)

related to: him being subservient

youd think that when i talked about him being subservient to others, i was building up to a headcanon about him being a sub. however it feels most correct [and fun] to me to imagine him being a dom-leaning switch vers (doesnt get dysphoria from bottoming because. prostate). social role and personal dynamics dont necessarily correspond to sexual dynamics!

the headcanon i was actually building up to was that he craves affirmation in specific ways from specific people. he is desperate for someone else to give him worth. he wants to do a good job serving an authority he deems worthy of respect. he wants to be useful, he wants to serve a purpose and have a role. he hates feeling like he needs something from someone else, and feels much more comfortable if they need something from him.

he doesn't have a praise kink in a traditional sense, but he does really get his rocks off from being Good At Sex and from his lovers clearly and obviously enjoying themselves. he doesn't wanna be told hes done a good job, he wants to know, to tell from experience that he's blown someone's mind.

furthermore, in romance, he becomes a massive simp. if he likes someone enough to fall for them then they hang the fucking moon for him. he is outside in the rain crying throwing up begging for a sniff. absolutely pathetic. its not a total transformation of personality, i think he'd really hide it and really want to hide it. but i think in most situations it'd be subtle but observable. every joke he makes is directed to them and checked against their reaction; he stands at a middle distance outside of conversation kinda watching them, observing every move, memorizing their gestures and tics and quirks. he feels i love you before the first date but won't say it until five years into the relationship.

related to: i couldnt put it in the other sections and i really only made these section headers so it wasnt just big walls of text oops

he's a low empathy emotionally constipated bitch at the best of times, so he substitutes emotional intimacy with physical intimacy. picking up people at bars or dances or what have you for one night stands, satisfying them thoroughly, and then immediately dropping out of their lives.

he actively avoids romance (and any emotional closeness, including the completely platonic kind). but he hasn't always been this way. i think Dark Road was the most recent in a long long string of experiences where he lost people he was close to. he's tired of hurting people and getting hurt.

. im not gonna get into it because im trying not to be like too too horny in this post but hes So fucking brat tamer coded to me. i think you will understand at least the surface level reasons for this. i guess if i wanted to relate it to Themes i'd say something like "there is a specific romantic and sexual fantasy in being an asshole and even hurting someone and them still wanting you and trusting you and loving you and even enjoying it" but. well we dont need to go there do we

these are just the Depressing / Character-Related / Themes-y headcanons. some of my headcanons are just like "i think this would be funny and/or in character and/or hot" but you see how long this list is anyway. if i started in on all of that then we'd be here forever.

also, these are just headcanons! they're informed by analysis but shaped heavily by what appeals to me personally, what i find hot, what i find compelling about his character. if your headcanons for him differ from mine in any way, i don't think you're Wrong, because we're talking about the sexuality of a guy who comes from a video game franchise where characters are barely allowed to hold hands. this is all just toys and playing

anyway thank you for reading this post lmao its so long

JUST LIKE HIS DIIIIIIIIIIII—

[desultory-novice]

hi dess! probably the wrong person to ask but it's just to immensely confuddling... is there a solid lore explanation for how sectonia turned into a bee? i wanted to write a body horror thing for her but i wanted it to be lore accurate and it's just all so convoluted !

Wrong person or not, it is impeccable timing! Both because of Triple Deluxe's 10th Anniversary (in Japan time) and the fact that I've been intensely studying those scenes for my own anniversary piece! Which is, err, running late.

Here is what we can garner about Sectonia's transformation abilities based on the available information + insights the game gives us.

[Pause Screen Lore]

VS Sectonia Vine

"Sectonia's family(1) have parasitized, taken possession of, and controlled countless lifeforms."

1) This word is often translated as "clan" as in a large gathering of members who are not necessarily family but belong to a specific unified group. IE, this could mean anything from "she and her direct family members have this ability" to "all spiders within a certain classification have this ability" to "all spiders have this ability".

I sometimes HC that possession is something all female spiders possess, because I like to imagine her people being a Queendom and that'd be a good reason for it, and also because of The Dark Crystal's "Wings? I don't have wings." "Of course not. You're a boy." (Which just feels so Taranza + Sectonia coded to me)

(I say "sometimes" because I'm also very fond of trans-girl Sectonia HC.)

VS Queen Sectonia (2)

"Sectonia, beautiful and menacing in form. She has [placed herself] inside the world tree..."

VS Sectonia Soul (2)

"I have parasitized and changed bodies so many times, I can no longer recall...which of them was my original self..."

(This pause screen lore is written from Sectonia's POV.)

So, yes, Joronia/Sectonia is a parasite.

She attaches to something and makes it part of her body/swaps bodies with it. If we look at the difference between her queen-form and her flowered-form, we understand a few things about this process: she takes her current body, as well as the body of another living organism and fuse them together. IE: 1 + 1 = 1

She retains some visual aspects of her previous body after a "switch" (she still has the bee head, collar, and wings, for example) and gains the greater (?) amount of traits from the new body.

This would mean that after her first swap, she probably still looked a little like "Joronia." (Something like a messed up version of those matching toys where you have to align the head, torso, and legs.)

What this also means is that in order to look like "Queen Sectonia" who is so completely different from what Taranza and Joronia look like, she would have had to swap bodies a lot. (Not to mention, she is BIG. It is possible her last body-swap wasn't even to a bee/wasp but something large she absorbed to gain the qualities of its size! Or maybe she stole something large for the size and then stole something with a super thin waist to get that hourglass figure XD)

Planet Robobot's Clone Sectonia lore tells us that "countless species" were found in the Dream Stalk's DNA "stretching over 1,000 years" so this does indeed seem to confirm she did this a frightening amount of times over a long period of time.

It's safe to say you will probably find no one creature in the Kirby-verse that looks similar to Queen Sectonia, as her body was custom crafted with parts from countless critters.

We also get a few visual insights into how parasitization looks...

...Upon her initial defeat, she begins giving off a massive amount of glitter/sparkles/insect scales. 

This visual is interesting as, if she was already reaching for a new body after her defeat, it is possible this is the first part of the process. Shedding her initial body. If not, this could either be a sign of her current body failing/dying or her parasitic control over it weakening.

She raises up, does some hand movements, lets out a wave of magic and begins to glow brightly. When we check back in on her, she has expelled her wings (she has them back in flower form but they DO appear slightly different. More petal-like and droopy. See above.) and wriggling tentacles appear from behind her...

You can debate that these are the Dream Stalk's vines wrapping around her, but they don't seem to behave the same way. (They don't have leaves either, which the vines do.) Thus, I think these are "appendages" that specifically appear as part of Sectonia/Joronia's transformation process. If you think about the way insects emerge from their cocoons, I can imagine these as tendrils as coming out from a "split/crack" that slowly forms in her back...

There's a LOT of light and time and struggle involved in the process but this could be just because the Dream Stalk was such a large and powerful target, being rooted into Popstar itself. If she's done this hundreds or thousands of times before, it is possible there is a shorter version of this for things she already overpowers.

...Though, the grimdark part of my brain imagines things like Taranza using his magic to hold one of her struggling targets down while she enwraps it with her horrible parasite tendrils. If Dess hasn't said this before, I'm less interested in soft, sad boy Taranza and much more interested in "1/2 of a gleeful villain couple" Taranza, who is so captivated by his beloved, he happily joins her in all sorts of horrendous things - leading military invasions in her name, assassinations, putting down rebellions, capturing new victims for her, all things he IS implied to do in game through Dedede -  only turning a blind eye to it because he believes in and is infatuated with her and thus, this must be the right thing to do. Right...?

-

In summary, what we can glean is all pretty bad. Sectonia doesn't even "swap" bodies because the bodies she absorb all get used up and can be said to be "dead" from the moment she inhabits them. Though you can even argue this, as, once she is defeated, the Dream Stalk seems to regain its individuality after her absorption. If you're re~ally into horror, you could take this to mean that some aspect of her victims consciousness is carried on from body to body...!!!!

Also, swapping from body to body appears to be more of a melding process anyway, which could also be pretty darn horrible, depending upon how much control you think she has over which traits she inherits from her victims. If it's entirely her choice, it's simply a matter of how many bodies until she's found the traits she believes "perfects" her ultimate vision of herself - plus how many times she changes her mind. If it's NOT then she's probably gone through an insane amount of swaps/victims, discontented at the results and insisting on trying again and again until it turns out "right."

And there you have it! Joronia's transformation into Sectonia is both deeply pitiful and deeply, deeply frightening!

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

YOU THERE!!!!!! TUMBLR USER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are YOU tired of how Tumblr treats trans people, particularly transwomen and transfemmes? Are YOU tired of how Tumblr treats people of color, particularly black folks? Are YOU tired of fandom trying to police the madeup bullshit you like to draw, write, or read about? Are YOU tired of all this fucking AI bullshit? Are YOU looking for a new online home to settle in?

Consider Pillowfort.social!

I’m not going to go into the nitty-gritty of how Pillowfort functions, because others have talked about that and explained it much better than I can (I recommend reading @/vergesm’s post here for a more general Pillowfort overview). What I’m going to do is explain what I, personally, get out of Pillowfort and why I enjoy it.

To preface, I’m not being paid to make this post or promote Pillowfort or anything. I wouldn’t think that needs to be said, but people make things up sometimes so idk. I’m writing pro-Pillowfort propaganda because I genuinely like the place and want to see it thrive. If you want to take a look at my own fort and get a feel for the place, you can do so here.

So with that out of the way – let’s talk about it!

Pillowfort is quite a bit like Tumblr, in that it’s a blogging platform, but it’s got a few things that make it better than this hellsite imo. For one thing, you can post NSFW content there. Although I don’t draw much explicit stuff, it’s nice to be able to post art there without worrying I’ll get shadowbanned for a picture that’s just a lil too suggestive. It's nice to know that the option is there. Honestly, it’s freeing not to have to worry about that shit. And it’s also really cool that there’s a built-in system for marking certain posts as NSFW, because as well as being able to mark your own posts as NSFW, you can choose whether you want to see other people's posts marked as NSFW. And for minors, the ability to see NSFW content is automatically turned off. Pillowfort’s got a really good system for both allowing NSFW content and keeping it away from people who don’t want to see it. I really like that flexibility, and how that flexibility isn't detrimental to the users.

And speaking of being able to see or not see certain content, the content filtering is pretty solid. You’re able to block tags and even words in the body of a post, and like I said, you can control whether you want to see posts marked as NSFW. You can even control who sees your own posts! There’s blocking users, of course, but you can limit who sees your own posts even further than that. You can make them visible to anyone, visible only to logged in Pillowfort users, visible only to your followers or mutuals, or hell, even visible to you alone!! It’s cool to have that level of control, and I find it reassuring to know I have those options.

Another big appeal of Pillowfort, for me, is the userbase’s strong “don’t like don’t read” policy. A lot of the people there operate under the mindset of “as long as it’s fictional, whatever dude. I don’t have to like it, but you do you." There are still dipshits, of course, but it’s WAY better than the insane purity culture that’s developed here. I don’t have to worry about some wannabe-conservatives telling me I’m just as bad as Ted Bundy for [checks notes] sexualizing Michael Myers or some shit. Plus, this general userbase mindset is backed up by actual site policy! I’ve heard that Pillowfort is very swift in responding to reports of harassment – whether it’s fandom-based harassment or bigotry. I haven’t had any experience with this personally (and hopefully it’ll stay that way), but I’ve heard good things about it, and it makes me feel more comfortable being there.

Also, did I mention Pillowfort has an explicit anti-AI policy? AI generated images and writing are banned on the website, and staff made this decision once its userbase and community made it clear that they wouldn’t welcome that sort of shit. And GOD, does it make me feel so fucking good as a writer and artist to know that.

And that’s another thing – Pillowfort staff actually fucking listens to its userbase. The website is crowd-funded and relies on subscriptions and monthly donations to keep things running. And because it relies on its community, it relies on keeping the community happy. So complaints, bug reports, suggestions and alterations and things the users would like to see on the site – it’s all taken pretty seriously. And again, it’s just really nice to know that the staff of the place actually give a shit and are looking out for its community rather than trying to suck the dick of the biggest investor.

Really, the only problem I have with Pillowfort is the fact that it’s a bit small. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because the people there are lovely. But since a lot of people aren’t happy with Tumblr, and haven’t been happy with Tumblr for some time, I thought I’d just ask you guys – maybe consider it. Consider making a Pillowfort account. Consider making your own little fort, stringing up some colored lights and cool art and making yourself cozy. Consider offering some money, if you can spare it, because it’s genuinely a really cool place that I want to spend more time in and see prosper.

So far, I’ve had a lovely time there. It’s cozy and friendly and it feels like one of the few places where a queer artist like me is actually welcome. And I think a lot of Tumblr users might really like it too.

I hope to see you there! 💜

[frost-the-soulcrow-elytrian]

Meet Njord the Crow Elytrian!

(Basically my sona in this wack as all hell story and world i am trying to create.)

Name: Njord

Age: 22 (at the start of the main story)

Species: Crow(?)

Pronouns: He/Him They/Them

Sexuallity: Pan

LORE: (age 7) adopted by his godmother, Queen Polaris, and she raises him to enjoy art and education, but Njord still had a fascination with the history and the different species and cultures of the Emerald Isles.

This fascination would lead to Njord (age 15) meeting Aiden (who can control and generate amethyst, geode stuffs, dripstone) in kind of a trade school and then after they completed school they both join a year long research project to document the fauna, species, cultures and history of the Emerald Isles.

At some point Njord (Age 17) and Aiden both realize that the feelings they have for each other were no longer platonic and romantic but, before they both could confess, they're sent to intersept a Witherian and a Crimson Piglin who possess an odd Nether Star, which the Redstonians/ Tinkers Guild wants in their "safe" hands.

After a long battle scene on the outskirts of a small village, Aiden gets fatality hit and Njord rushs to his aid and with the last bit of his strength, Aiden puts his hand, covered in forming amethyst, on Njord's cheek and says "I love you my little feat-th-th-r-." as his hand falls to the ground the amethyst on Njord's face shatters leaving the purple scar on his face. And in this moment, Njord realizes that they where send to die.

Njord feels the firey rage in his heart bleed up to the surface, where there was wind magic there is now fire, as Njord rushs and kills the Piglin who dealt the blow on Aiden then, before finishing off the Witherian, the Witherian sticks their claws into Njord's arm and starts to cast a soul swap spell but, Njord kills the Witherian before it's complete, now the Witherian's soul is also in Njord's body (giving Njord the Soul wind/fire abilities).

To stop the wither effect from spreading, Njord cuts off the affected arm and takes the Nether Star to not let the Tinkers Guild get it. He tries to get to safety but, is stopped by an old mentor on the same mission and tries to get the Nether Star, but Njord explains the truth to her and she let's them go.

After flying for what feels like days, Njord crash lands into the home of a Beefolk who takes care of them for like 4 months and in the process of that, the Beefolk realizes that they're trans and Njord helps Jade to transform and stuff to try and return the favor of saving their life, and THEN they both fall for each other after helping one another through their lowest points.

Then, Njord (19) meets a forgeman and teaches em to forge weapons and how the making of a weapon is a sacred thing, then Njord uses the skills from the time at the Tinkers Guild to make a new arm powered by Soul Quartz. The blacksmith mentor passes away, then Njord creates a sword to protect the thing he cares for.

[genderqueerdykes]

how can someone be a lesbian and a man at the same time? and a traswonan and transman too

hello! thanks for your question!

while people broadly interpret the term lesbian to mean 'woman who loves women', there is a far broader nuance to the identity and label that goes beyond a simple description.

lesbians have a nuanced and complicated experience with gender. butches and femmes both have unique experiences with gender and presentation. nobody likes to talk about us, but some butches *do* identify as men. there are a lot of trans men who start out in lesbian spaces because they are safer, and don't want to leave the community and live as lesbian men. drag kings also are often lesbians. genderfluid lesbians, polygender lesbians, multigender lesbians, genderqueer lesbians, all types of trans lesbians are lesbians regardless of whether or not they are men all the time, or part of the time

lesbians also have a complicated relationship with nonbinary identities and a lot of us find that we fit somewhere under that umbrella. many lesbians find that pushing the boundaries of gender and expression are necessary for survival. i would recommend reading stone butch blues by leslie feinberg to gain a better understanding of lesbians who live this way, or, you are free to visit my lesbian and dyke tags!

as for your second question, i am an intersex person, meaning i was not born with a body that fits into the strict "male" or "female" binary. after i hit puberty i was routinely told i wasn't a "real girl" by someone then told i wasn't a "real boy" by someone else. i was completely stripped of the ability to be gendered correctly by anyone because my body has such a strong mixture of both "masculine" and 'feminine' traits like growing a full beard, having broad shoulders, buff chest, flat breasts, big arms, etc. and an hourglass waist and long shapely legs, high pitched voice, etc.

i am trans "both" or sometimes trans 'everything' as i call myself. my ability to identify as a boy or a girl was completely taken away from me and i am resisting that actively every day. i am a boy and a girl! i'm some type of nonbinary creature, sure, but i am in fact a woman and a man at the same time, but i've had to fight and claw tooth and nail to be seen correctly due to things that weren't under my control.

HRT was kinda my big power move. after i get top surgery and find a good quality packer, i think people will finally understand me and how i identify, but basically, the answer is intersex people, and some other folks can live experiences that make it so they can be both transmasculine and transfeminine at the same time for a multitude of reasons. my experience is just one of many, but it is possible, and we exist!

hope that answers your question! if you need more help, feel free to ask again! take care, stay safe!

[chasani]

tell me abt him

deep breath in deep breath out

So I have these OCs, and I named their little "series" Perdente Divinity (PD for short). And there's the PD4, the main four: Rimmer, Acacia, Noel, Calanthe

Noel is my favorite. I love him with all my heart.

Noel is this guy, he's trans, the first trans guy in fact. There's never been the concept of being transgender in their universe, well bing bang boom here he is. Oh! And he's straight now so before he transitioned he made a lot of lesbian power couples. Moving past that, I just genuinely love him. So much. He has 25 piercings, a split tounge, did I mention he's an acrobat? Yeah, summersaults all around. He's also a hooker. He's like 28, so not only one of the older OCs I've made, one of the darn COOLEST. If he was human, he'd be italian. Did I mention his natural born ability is umbrakinesis? And miasma emission, smoke go BOOM. Fun Fact: In his calender he was born on the equivalent of April 1st and in our calender he was born on the Ides of March. Sounds fitting, considering he's tried to STAB A GOD TO DEATH. Haha yeah, he did that. I mean multiple people have tried to kill a god [only one succeeded] but he's the first to try and survive. How is he still around? Idk he should be dead by now. Literally was given a second chance of life and he didn't change ANYTHING about himself. That's the way to live. Did I say he temporaily becomes a god at one point? His favorite saying is "calm your tits" and his blood type is e negative.

Okay, Rimmer. He's my second favorite of the four <3 He's an on-the-run criminal because he fled the army, has multiple scars from it too. His mask has a crack going all the way across it, I don't blame him for getting out of there. He's the youngest of six brothers, has the ability to communicate or control telepathically. Oh, he's also gay. Him and Noel have hooked up, a LOT. He also has an immense crush on Noel, unfortunately Noel doesn't return the favor. Not important. I just like Rimmer cause he's always there for his friends, even if at one point he gets so depressed he never fully recovers. That didn't help with his crush either. But he has devoted, so much towards himself in his friends. He would turn the world over to save them. Mostly Noel, whom he met first and their meeting makes their bond stronger than anyone's. Oh, I didn't mention his tattoos. He has two full sleeves, nothing out of the ordinary, but they're so pretty <3 and by "pretty" I mean "I change how they look everytime I draw them"

Calanthe... I'll admit I wrote his desc out of the four last. Even skipped over to Acacia and came back. It's not I don't like him, it's just out of the four he has the least traits my favorite characters tend to have. He's still a pretty darn good OC though. Grew up sort of rebellious, always getting hurt. Went to old churchyards and buildings and vandalized everything. Had the guards on him. His worst offense? Probably blowing up that one church. Nearly got caught by the guards, got injured running away, leaving a crack in his mask, and choosing to hide away forever. And that, is when he ran off with Acacia.

Acacia <3 such a pretty baby. She's the only fem one out of the whole group of boys, that doesn't matter though. She's so pretty <3 long draping white cloths, jewels, headcrowns- and she has heterochromia! One blue eye, one yellow. That also affects her powers, meaning she can communicate with other species [sort of in the way fluttershy can] and cyrokinesis! Poor baby, when she get's stressed her body temperature drops, and during panic attacks her body and the room around her begin to freeze around her :[ luckily, that's not common, she's a very calm and collected person. Unfortunately that doesn't mean she's NEVER had ice crystals growing from her hands or feet, and the animal sounds just add to the over stimulation. Acacia is also sort of a drug addict, she's recovering now, but she still keeps stashed of meds locked away [and has nearly overdosed...] but the other three have gotten her through hard times. She met Calanthe first, and later the others. Because she grew up selling illegal fire arms, of course which Calanthe always bought. Later they ran off together, and that's how their story began.

Notice I keep bringing up Noel is other characters descriptions? Yeah He's my favorite. Here's more about him. Noel ORIGINALLY had four arms, you heard me right two sets of arms. The plan was he was born with a lower, second set of arms that were dysfunctional, a mutation, that also had cancerous cells in them that were from a disease that would slowly spread from toe to head leaving him paralyzed. I always forgot to draw him with the arms though, so eventually I just ditched them. The story was the same though, paralyzing disease. Did decide he gets a second set of arms temporarily a later time, but that's not important right now. Some other traits I've gone back-and-forth on? My original thought is he'd have multiple sets of eyes, that got ditched. Went back and forth on him being a smoker, kept that one! He does crack too, pot, you name it. But those are more as a treat, he's addicted to smoking. Multiple packs a day. I haven't figured out when I want him to start smoking? Maybe like, 16? But who knows

Alright, here's what you've been waiting for. The plot of PD, and whatever the heck happens to PD4. Well, originally it was just PD4, and their story was going to end after the events of PD. But that... well.. let's just say I kept branching out new ideas, and after the main plot of PD they get into more trouble :]

Life? Starts out fine, just a slice of life scenario. No need for backstories, no need for introductions, just, life. Livin' it. Unfortunately.. Noel continues to get... sicker. It starts as just wheezing, coughs, "wow all that smoking is finally catching up to you.." turns into not being able to move legs, tingling feeling in the fingers, and suddenly- bed ridden. He's slowly been getting more and more paralyzed, now he's stuck in a bed paralyzed from the waist down and he can barely move his upper body, and the others just had to sit there and watch. Watch slowly as their close friend died right before their eyes. They couldn't take him to the doctor, three of them were in hiding and all four were outcasts. Acacia, being familiar with many diseases, and had books of information, eventually narrowed it down to what it was. Unfortunately, there was no cure. A year and 4 months later, Noel passed away.

Rimmer falls into a great depression. He was in denial, he refused to believe it. Not even a week after he attempts suicide and the others have to stop him. It was pure chaos. Their dynamic falling apart, Rimmer was the closest to Noel, and now he was gone. The stress falling on Acacia, and the disorder hitting Calanthe. They were a mess. Eventually.. the thought hits them. Matyrdom, the God of Life, would have the power to bring him back. All they would have to do is fine it. Easier said than done. The Gods had been in hiding since before they were born, out of hundreds of Gods only 6 came down to help the mortals, only 5 were actually accepted by the mortals of being worthy of worship, and 1 was murdered. Suprisingly, those last two don't allign, not the point. Rimmer, Acacia, and Calanthe get it together and travel ALL over the country, looking for even the slightest hint of this God. Granted, none of them had even SEEN a god. But... it would be worth it in the end. Trial and Error Trial and Error, they did it! They found Martyrdom! They made the sacrifices and- it doesn't do it. It felt "dishonored" "how could you choose to worship that THING over me?" It left. Was that really it? Leaving them in despair like that? All of that for nothing? All hope felt loss. It was useless, efforts gone in vain. Suddenly before their eyes, Albatross appeared. Albatross, the God of Chaos, those four were the only ones to even worship it in all it's years helping earth. The only four to show it respect. It, brought Noel back.

They did it, it almost felt unreal. Months of tears down the drain- because suddenly life was back to normal? Were they just supposed to act like they didn't go on that journey? Noel didn't look changed a bit, meanwhile the others were tired and weary. Full of it, done with everything. But, it was all worth it in the end. Truly worth it. Albatross even gave them a better home, one that was not.. battered and broken. Things were finally starting to calm down. Some point after settling into their new home, it's winter time, Noel and Rimmer go to the theatre. On the way back, Noel sees something in the bushes, and takes a detour. As for Rimmer?.. yeah he walked a minute before realizing Noel walked off and was ready to have a mental breakdown. He search EVERYWHERE eventually coming back to the house with the news like "Hey. He dissapeared" but it was more like "HE'S GONE HE'S" while he bawled his eyes out. In the middle of the night, Noel just shows up barging down the door. "Where had you been?!" And he just holds up the thing in his hands- a dog. That's how they got Lilac

(Bonus plot, is some point after their life returns to normal they get in to so many more shenanigans. Like Noel meeting up with his old competitor performance troupe, and them competing in a show. Or like needing to go back and meet everyone's parents which as you can imagine goes HORRIBLY. Also horseback riding, drag queens, sky diving, baking shows, skating, escape rooms, you name it. They do NOT get a break)

Alright alright, I've talked about Noel and Rimmer enough you deserve to know how they met. So some point after becoming an adult, Noel attempts to tell his family "I think.. I'm a boy" As you can imagine- this didn't go over well. They immediately force him into an arranged marriage, which Noel runs away from at the altar, and goes to hide away in town. Bawling, crying his eyes out. He lives out an alleyway, he steals food, does drugs, in a rough patch, down right depressed. He's barely an adult and he's caught in this mess of a family that would kill him if he showed up again, and a town that would do the same. He considers it right then and there. Well, he'd been considering it for awhile. He was going to kill himself, and he was finally about to- now keep in mind this whole time, Rimmer has been living in alley ways for awhile now. Drinking, doing drugs. He did NOT want to go back to the army. He'd been in those alleyways for awhile, he thought he'd seen everything, that was until he saw- "her"- Noel. He didn't know who "she" was he didn't know "her" name. He just knew.. he wasn't about to let "her" life end like that. Rimmer stops Noel from killing himself, and the rest is history. Yeah sure, it's so personal, the only part they tell people is "we met in an alleyway, rolled a joint, and really hit it off" but there's more to it than that. They were keeping the rest of it to themselves, no one needed to know, other than them.

Okay !! Let's end off with some fun facts 1. Noel's name is "no-el" pre-transition and "knoll" after 2. Rimmer's full name is "Roscoe Rimmers Saunders" 3. Noel's favorite movie is The Human Centipede 4. Acacia has kept multiple pet fish, yet they kept mysteriously dissapearing.. oh, she also had a pet bird 5. Calanthe somehow figured out how to work a gun at birth (multiple fatalites that day) (who gave the baby a gun?) 6. Noel was born with rabies (multiple fatalities that day) 7. It is canon: Rimmer can (and will) kill god 8. Acacia has like 100+ allergies 9. No. They are not sane. 10. Yes. They have had sex.

[uncle-fruity]

Here's something from my brain:

Telling transmascs they shouldn't go on T because they'll "become ugly" is still rooted in patriarchal ideals & expectations. It's why every TERF is hard to take seriously when they insist they're trying to fight sexism.

What's the ugly part? The body hair? The balding? The deepening voice? The potential for weight/muscle gain?

So, by that standard, cis women with body hair, cis women who are balding, cis women who gain weight and/or muscles, and cis women with deeper-than-average voices are, BY TERF'S OWN LOGIC, ugly.

Oh? Do you think that all women are meant to be frail? Thin? Hairless bodies? Thick head of hair? Wispy "feminine" voices? What are you trying to say about how women's bodies are supposed to be? Do you think ALL women have the same body type? The same standards of beauty? Is beauty every woman's top priority? Should it be?

You know who else freaks out about "manish" women? Basically, all the people who think women are objects to be seen & not heard. All the people who think women are their sexual playthings and little more. It's a trope throughout literature & media to paint strong, outspoken women as manish & undesirable. A trope that TERFs seem happy to exploit for their own ideals. Because if they want to prescribe womanhood onto us, they must also accept that they are unhappy with the way we are living through our womanhood, and think it's reasonable to control and legislate our bodies based on their personal belief about how women should behave & think.

Being a woman is not about how pretty you are. It isn't about what you owe to the people who would rather you shut up and be demure. And for TERFs to use these insecurities that the patriarchy instills in young girls to dissuade them from making choices for themselves is honestly a disgusting tactic.

I don't even care if you (wrongly) connect biology to gender. If someone looks at me, a trans guy with ~2 years of hormone treatments under my belt, and decides that I'm an ugly woman based on the vagina they're assuming I have and probably the tits that I definitely still have, fine. Maybe it's the nonbinary in me, but if you wanna purposefully (incorrectly) call me a woman, then that shitty decision is yours to make. Now, ask yourself.... why are you mad that a woman (by your own standards) is choosing something for her own body?

These are the same people who get mad when trans guys claim historical figures like Dr. James Barry as one of our own. There's no way to tell how he'd identify if he was using modern language to describe himself without resurrecting him and asking directly. But, in the end, whether he was a woman seeking to break through barriers of sexism or whether he was a trans man in a time before we would have called him that, he chose to live a life that is similar to the one many transmascs choose for themselves. He expressed himself in a way that is familiar to transmascs. And I have no doubt that these fucko TERFs would try to belittle and tear him down just the same as they do any of us. In fact, it was a woman who undressed him against his will after he died and exposed him as a "woman" postmortem. We can't say for sure if she'd identify as a TERF if she were using modern language to describe herself without resurrecting her and asking directly, but we can safely say that she's not the kind of person I'd like to know either way. Her mother should have taught her about consent.

If I was a woman trying to escape the patriarchy by transitioning (a common, completely stupid ass take btw since everyone who isn't at the very top of the power chain is a victim of the patriarchy (among other things)), would you mock me? Admire me? Sympathize with me? Tell me I'm delusional? Call me ugly? Tell me I should think more about my ability to bear children with my womb? Would you join me in trying to escape oppression? Would you hate me for trying? Have you decided that men are the enemy, and therefore I've betrayed my sisters in a war I reject wholeheartedly? Would you hold me down? Get your friends to beat me up? Tell me I deserve the violence in my life? Undress my dead body? Tell me I'm crazy? Force me to put on a dress? Force me to shave? Tell me to brighten my voice? Tell me it's a shame I've destroyed my feminine smile? Would you dare try to drag me back to the patriarchal depths like crabs in a barrel?

At the end of the day, it's all about telling people how they should live their life. How they should look, which beauty standards they should care about, which roles they should identify with, who they should be beholden to... And if those people disagree, maybe they're just hysterical mentally ill or being manipulated. Lock 'em in a room with some yellow wallpaper to keep it cheery until they change their minds!

Do you see? The parallels? How, even if we accept that your fake science is actually real science, and claim womanhood based on our vaginas and tits and ability to sometimes bear children, you are still denying us agency by taking away the right to express our gender however we choose. If I'm a woman who looks like a man, or who acts like a man, why is that a problem for you? Why do these gender barriers matter to you? Don't you see that in taking control of gender, we defang a critical branch of the patriarchy?

Sexist ass cult mindset, -10/10.

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

good [insert time of day here] i realised i never thought to ask you amid my delight of you being the most interactive follower i have that isnt an irl friend do YOU have ocs or blorbos. i wish to know. for reasons.

OH hello yes thank you for asking!!! I have several OCs but most of the time I simply Do Not Explain on here; I have lots of ideas and doodles but I make it mostly for myself and don't think to share — doesn't mean I don't want to tho! exhibit A: this absolutely massive post I'm about to make lmao. putting it under a read more bc Oh Boy, the floodgates have been opened

most of my OCs are for two different projects I have: The Visitors and my D&D Dark Star Campaign.

The Visitors is just a lil worldbuilding project I've been chewing on for.... oh wow, over a decade at this point??? I love all the OCs I have in there very very much, but they're definitely never intended to go in an actual story, I just enjoy the speculative biology and character / world building process.

Val is one of my oldest OCs, and she's changed SO MUCH over the years! nowadays, she's a sort of insect/dinosaur mashup alien who uses gravity warping magic and a very large axe to hunt demons. a huge issue for magic users of her species is keeping cool, as magic generates heat and can literally cook you from the inside out, so you'll notice the multiple vent-like spiracles across her body for this purpose. she was born blind and so relies heavily on her best friend, Django, to be her eyes and keep her safe. fortunately, Django has Too Many Eyes. he's a dragon genetically engineered by those in Val's species to be the perfect vessel for storing and releasing massive amounts of mirror-based magic. this kind of magic gives him many abilities, including seeing around corners, creating illusions, or multiplying attacks when applied in different ways, and he acts as Val's seeing-eye dragon. in battle, she likes to get up in the action while he holds back and gives her cues on what's happening, only jumping in himself if she's in major trouble. she's very friendly and excitable, and loves to get into the culture of whatever planet they're visiting, while he's more interested in observing and snooping. there's a lot of espionage and hijinks.

these are some of my most recent sketches of them, tho I'm sure the designs will changes in the future. specific colors don't matter at all, it's all about vibes! not pictured in the halfway colored one is Val's big iridescent black cape thing that has a slit down the middle for her rigid tail, nor her weird arms since I wanted to figure out where the torso vents could go.

Duke is another Visitor who visits planets and solves problems, but his path to get there was a whole lot different! I made him up as a coping mechanism when I was 12, and I'm still very fond of him.

he started life as a human video game speedrunner and modder prodigy. in a "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" situation, a devil (very distinct from demons!) struck a deal with him, challenging his gaming abilities with his soul as the stakes. he won despite the devil's cheating, but that's where the resemblance to the song ends. in this world, a devil winning your soul allows them to fuse with you and gain total control over your body, mind, and actions; but if YOU win, the control is reversed! and like any 14 year old who suddenly has the power to rival minor gods and a chaotic creature living in their head.... he goes off the rails for a while. Val and Django eventually find him and help him cope. his powers include electricity, glitching reality, flailing his glaive around, and being a menace to evil overlords.

you can't see it very well in this picture, but his eyes and the segments between his tail glow lime green! I'm not a fan of drawing clothes, but in my head he's relatively fashionable for a teenager and refuses to wear anything other than black. also, he decided to tell me he was trans a couple years ago, thanks for letting me know buddy 😂

my other project does actually get to see the light of day, if very slowly — I'm running a homebrew D&D campaign for my irl friends called the Dark Star Campaign! none of em use tumblr so WHEEEE I get to post all the spoilers I want! there's a kinda staggering amount of lore behind it and a ton of minor OCs, but the two I rotate in my head the most are Anya the Timekeeper and The Master, aka Armageddon.

Anya the Timekeeper is a chronomancy lich from an alternate universe! she used to help Armageddon travel the multiverse and gain power, but she's decided she's tired of being evil, and now hides in a mansion on a tropical island where she breeds dinosaurs for fun. though she's now very determined to help the party, they'll eventually have to kill her past self to prevent a paradox. her familiar is a little archaeopteryx named Trix who steals hats!

(I commissioned this art from @/goodlouse a while ago! highly recommend checking out his blog!!)

Armageddon is the BBEG and he's SO EVIL and SO MUCH FUN. he's an ancient amethyst dragon who, up until a while before the campaign's beginning, was steadily finding alternate universe versions of himself, killing them, and eating their souls to gain Unlimited Power™. unfortunately, his partner in time (hah) Anya told him to fuck off, so the quest for Unlimited Power™ has been kinda slow lately. fortunately, a D&D campaign started, and he cheated his way into existing at the players' table as The Master! my players can ask to talk to him sometimes, and I'll put on a mask of his head I made specifically for this purpose — very useful for not breaking character when the character is supposed to literally be the one sitting at the table talking to the players. I don't try to hide the fact that he's evil and they all know it, the fun is in giving them little hints and tidbits of lore to munch on. right now he's being very docile and helpful but things will get very very interesting eventually as more of his nature and plan is revealed..... =)

I'm still playing around with what he looks like as The Master, but I really like this recent design I did. his eye glows dark and menacing. I haven't found a design for his dragon form I'm really pleased with yet tho :/

okay wow thanks again for the ask, I have many many ideas in my head and it felt pretty nice to get em out!!

[lilcrazybat]

I loved seeking others redesigns for the mane 6 so I had to make my own!

I have some info for them all if you guys are interested!

Twilight Sparkle: a born alicorn and the next in line for the throne. She was constantly by Celestals side after being adopted. Her parents are unknown. For the first time Twilight was sent to ponytown to solve a riddle the princess made. She needed help and was stubborn to ask it. But it was required. Making her make friends and learn how they lived. Over time she fulfilled quests and mysteries that always found was to her, she was given the role as Princess of friendship!

Rarity: she's a fashion designer unicorn that loves to make everything sparkle! She was bullied for her body as a fully but it did nothing. Rarity knew from the start she was perfect and never listened. She still has her demons to deal with but she deals with them by collecting expensive jewelry.

Fluttershy: a shy and tall pegasus. Making it pretty difficult to fly for too long. Fluttershy found it hard to make friends. But she always seemed to do best around animals and nature. Her voice can soothe any beast and is the best veterinary in town.

Pinkammena Diane pie: also known as Pinkie Pie, is a small earthpony with a heart of gold. She always has a way to make everyone smile. Being from an abusive family she was later diagnosed with bipolar. Making her sometimes severally angry and reactive. But she try to control it. She has small twitches that indicate when she's not stable and will leave to calm down.

Crash "Rainbow Dash": always laughed for being clumsy and breaking stuff, Dash changed his name to avoid the name callings. Rainbow Dash is also trans is wants to the toughest guy in town. But still falls for some girly stuff. His parents are iffy with the transition but they will always love their child.

Applejack: the strongest of the apple family and the first transgender in the bloodline. She always felt like a lady yet lived like a boy. She asked her parents about such and they were by her side to help her feel better. She's taller than most ponies but she's a gentle giant. Her farm is always in bloom with her amazing ability to work with nature.

[afutureworththinkingabout]

Appendix A: An Imagined and Incomplete Conversation about “Consciousness” and “AI,” Across Time

Every so often, I think about the fact of one of the best things my advisor and committee members let me write and include in my actual doctoral dissertation, and I smile a bit, and since I keep wanting to share it out into the world, I figured I should put it somewhere more accessible.

So with all of that said, we now rejoin An Imagined and Incomplete Conversation about “Consciousness” and “AI,” Across Time, already (still, seemingly unendingly) in progress:

René Descartes (1637): The physical and the mental have nothing to do with each other. Mind/soul is the only real part of a person.

Norbert Wiener (1948): I don’t know about that “only real part” business, but the mind is absolutely the seat of the command and control architecture of information and the ability to reflexively reverse entropy based on context, and input/output feedback loops.

Alan Turing (1952): Huh. I wonder if what computing machines do can reasonably be considered thinking?

Wiener: I dunno about “thinking,” but if you mean “pockets of decreasing entropy in a framework in which the larger mass of entropy tends to increase,” then oh for sure, dude.

John Von Neumann (1958): Wow things sure are changing fast in science and technology; we should maybe slow down and think about this before that change hits a point beyond our ability to meaningfully direct and shape it— a singularity, if you will.

Clynes & Klines (1960): You know, it’s funny you should mention how fast things are changing because one day we’re gonna be able to have automatic tech in our bodies that lets us pump ourselves full of chemicals to deal with the rigors of space; btw, have we told you about this new thing we’re working on called “antidepressants?”

Gordon Moore (1965): Right now an integrated circuit has 64 transistors, and they keep getting smaller, so if things keep going the way they’re going, in ten years they’ll have 65 THOUSAND. :-O

Donna Haraway (1991): We’re all already cyborgs bound up in assemblages of the social, biological, and techonological, in relational reinforcing systems with each other. Also do you like dogs?

Ray Kurzweil (1999): Holy Shit, did you hear that?! Because of the pace of technological change, we’re going to have a singularity where digital electronics will be indistinguishable from the very fabric of reality! They’ll be part of our bodies! Our minds will be digitally uploaded immortal cyborg AI Gods!

Tech Bros: Wow, so true, dude; that makes a lot of sense when you think about it; I mean maybe not “Gods” so much as “artificial super intelligences,” but yeah.

90’s TechnoPagans: I mean… Yeah? It’s all just a recapitulation of The Art in multiple technoscientific forms across time. I mean (*takes another hit of salvia*) if you think about the timeless nature of multidimensional spiritual architectures, we’re already—

DARPA: Wait, did that guy just say something about “Uploading” and “Cyborg/AI Gods?” We got anybody working on that?? Well GET TO IT!

Disabled People, Trans Folx, BIPOC Populations, Women: Wait, so our prosthetics, medications, and relational reciprocal entanglements with technosocial systems of this world in order to survive makes us cyborgs?! :-O

[Simultaneously:]

Kurzweil/90’s TechnoPagans/Tech Bros/DARPA: Not like that. Wiener/Clynes & Kline: Yes, exactly.

Haraway: I mean it’s really interesting to consider, right?

Tech Bros: Actually, if you think about the bidirectional nature of time, and the likelihood of simulationism, it’s almost certain that there’s already an Artificial Super Intelligence, and it HATES YOU; you should probably try to build it/never think about it, just in case.

90’s TechnoPagans: …That’s what we JUST SAID.

Philosophers of Religion (To Each Other): …Did they just Pascal’s Wager Anselm’s Ontological Argument, but computers?

Timnit Gebru and other “AI” Ethicists: Hey, y’all? There’s a LOT of really messed up stuff in these models you started building.

Disabled People, Trans Folx, BIPOC Populations, Women: Right?

Anthony Levandowski: I’m gonna make an AI god right now! And a CHURCH!

The General Public: Wait, do you people actually believe this?

Microsoft/Google/IBM/Facebook: …Which answer will make you give us more money?

Timnit Gebru and other “AI” Ethicists: …We’re pretty sure there might be some problems with the design architectures, too…

Some STS Theorists: Honestly this is all a little eugenics-y— like, both the technoscientific and the religious bits; have you all sought out any marginalized people who work on any of this stuff? Like, at all??

Disabled People, Trans Folx, BIPOC Populations, Women: Hahahahah! …Oh you’re serious?

Anthony Levandowski: Wait, no, nevermind about the church.

Some “AI” Engineers: I think the things we’re working on might be conscious, or even have souls.

“AI” Ethicists/Some STS Theorists: Anybody? These prejudices???

Wiener/Tech Bros/DARPA/Microsoft/Google/IBM/Facebook: “Souls?” Pfffft. Look at these whackjobs, over here. “Souls.” We’re talking about the technological singularity, mind uploading into an eternal digital universal superstructure, and the inevitability of timeless artificial super intelligences; who said anything about “Souls?”

René Descartes/90’s TechnoPagans/Philosophers of Religion/Some STS Theorists/Some “AI” Engineers: …

[Scene]

----------- ----------- ----------- -----------

Read Appendix A: An Imagined and Incomplete Conversation about “Consciousness” and “AI,” Across Time at A Future Worth Thinking About

and read more of this kind of thing at: Williams, Damien Patrick. Belief, Values, Bias, and Agency: Development of and Entanglement with "Artificial Intelligence." PhD diss., Virginia Tech, 2022. https://vtechworks.lib.vt.edu/handle/10919/111528.