#aka free labour

[cashbothqsecretary]

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[vivwritesfics]

Daddy Ricciardo

Just some Danny Ric marriage/parent headcannons. Fluffy AF

Have you ever met somebody so in love with their girlfriend that it consumes their entire being?

Well, if you're friends with Daniel Ricciardo, you certainly have

Daniel was utterly obsessed with Y/N when they were dating

He brought her along to every race and showed her off whenever he got the chance

Any Y/N fan pages were probably run by him

Daniel was obviously a man who couldn't wait to get married

Especially to Y/N

You know that bit from The Office when Jim shows off the ring he got the moment he and Pam start dating?

That would have been Danny if he got the chance on drive to survive

No, Daniel got the ring on their six month anniversary

He already knew she was the one

But six months felt like the perfect timing

He didn't propose right away

Things kept getting in the way

But then, there was the perfect storm

Y/N had just come to watch a race

She hadn't been to the last one and had hardly been on the phone to him

Danny thought something was wrong

When she came to the race, Daniel was overjoyed

But then, in the hotel room after the race, she'd gone all serious

"Danny, I've got something to tell you. But I need you to promise me one thing," she said, grabbing a hold of his hands

"Anything," he replied, utterly concerned

Y/N sucked in a deep breath, calming her nerves

"Don't freak out."

When she told him, Daniel didn't freak out

He took in the information silently

Why would he freak out?

This was going to be the best day of his life

Two little words, that was all Y/N had said to him

Two words with so much weight to them

When Y/N was done and looking ready to start crying, Daniel slipped from the bed and pulled the ring box out of his pocket

He got down onto one knee and opened it

"You've just made me the happiest man in the world. Want to make me slightly happier and marry me?"

Y/N found a dress, her dream dress

Three weeks before the wedding, that dress no longer fit

The joys of being pregnant

Sobbing, Y/N made her mother take her shopping for a new dress

Before the wedding, at the rehearsal, Daniel had said he wasn't going to get drunk

If his soon to be wife couldn't drink, then he wouldn't either

But Y/N had insisted

Her soon to be husband was cute when he was drunk

So, Daniel had a few

He had more as the reception went on

Max and Christian were there, drinking alongside him

By the end of the night, Y/N was sat at the table, hand on her bump, cheeks rosy as she laughed at Daniel

He had pulled Max in for a dance and the Dutchman couldn't say no

He literally couldn't say no, because drunk Daniel wasn't listening

The honeymoon was gorgeous, like a dream

They went to the Maldives, stayed in a luxury resort

Four months later, Y/N was going into labour

It was, quite frankly, terrifying

Fifteen hours later, Charlie Ricciardo was born

He was his fathers pride and joy

Where Daniel used to show off Y/N, he now showed off Charlie and Y/N

His camera roll was all pictures of Y/N and his son

As Charlie got older, they started taking him to the races

He had little headphones to wear as the cars went around the circuit

He'd wave (aka, Y/N would hold him on her hip and wave his hand for him when his daddy came into the pits)

Charlies first word was car

Daniel was driving at the time, during free practice

He was so pissed that he missed it

Daniel was the fun parent

He was the one who let Charlie stay up past his bed time and let him have chocolate and fizzy drinks

In moderation, of course

But then Charlie did something scary

"Mummy, I want a brother," he said

Y/N couldn't reply

She had to turn around and pour herself a glass of wine

So, he asked his father

Daniel was so happy to hear it

If Charlie wanted a sibling, he was going to get a sibling

So, Daniel brought it up with Y/N

"Danny, no," she said the moment he suggested it. "When I was pregnant with Charlie and you were travelling for work, I was struggling so much without you. I can't do that again"

Daniel tucked some hair behind her ear

"Don't worry, Angel. I can talk to Christian and get the last few months of your pregnancy off," he said. "Keep you and Charlie travelling with me until then"

That sounded amazing to Y/N

She loved her little family and it only seemed to be growing

She jumped onto her husband

"Get ready for the night of your life, honey badger"

[midnighttomoscow]

Going into their last year of study at the University of Manchester, Sirius and Remus have been dancing around a blooming crush for the last few years. Everything comes to a head right before their last fall term together and both boys think they’ve made a terrible mistake.

“What do you think it means?” Sirius’s voice is quiet, just above the music. Remus turns, coming face to face with him. His hazel eyes are glassy, gaze soft as it flits over Sirius’s face.

“What do you mean?” When Remus asks, Sirius’s brows furrow, the slice through his right eyebrow almost disappearing.

“Fate up against your will,” Sirius repeats almost reverently.

Remus bites his lip, the movement drawing Sirius’s eyes towards it.

“It’s inevitable.” His voice is soft, bordering husky.

***

I’ve been writing fanfic for a very very very long time and within the last few years I’ve had the opportunity to meet some of my fave people in my life. 

This fic started as me monopolizing Darcy’s (aka rotten_souldier) question box on her instagram and snowballed into a weird and wild friendship that’s blossomed over the last year. I am so lucky that something I’ve written is graced by Darcy’s drawings and that we get to share it with the fandom! 

Mongrel Minds is part of a Modern universe Darcy and I have created. The series is called Modern Love and there will be three fics within this story arc. I don’t have set post dates so this will be a slow update labour of love kind of thing. 

I just hope you love these guys as much as we do! As always fanfic is free to read on ao3 HERE Illustration by rotten_souldier (Instagram, Tumblr) Beta read by Beanz (Instagram, a03) Cover design by myself

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

Okay okay okay I don't know if this will even make sense or just sound dramatic or like rambling so bare with me I guess

I keep seeing people saying "oh you don't think reading should be made political but you read books like ACOTAR and xyz?" and while I totally get the point and agree with it, let's just look at this particular example for a second because it's completely unsurprising.

Let's be real, the majority of the people who read ACOTAR praise the "inner circle". They see them as the good guys, the best of the best, "goals", whatever. It has gotten to the point that it's almost cult-like, I mean I've seen people who haven't even read the books already in love with the inner circle just because fans basically convince them to be.

Anyway, even just their name is already starting off bad, the inner circle? By actual definition an inner circle is a curated group who move in the same circle. AKA the elite few chosen out of complete bias by the leader (not for any particular care for their people or political savvy because we know they have none of that) just because they're "besties"

This particular inner circle consists of

1. A man who has committed sexual assault, abuse, war crimes, murder and more. Has quite literally segregated his own people and abandoned 2/3s of his court. Knows about and allows the unrelenting physical, mental and sexual abuse of the women and children he is responsible for. Locked up survivors of sexual abuse and uses them for free labour and pretended it was some sort of charity.

2. A man who obliterated a village because of his own rage. Committed physical and emotional abuse and sexual harassment. Takes some sort of pleasure out of seeing women in pain.

3. A literal torturer (granted he doesn't seem to actually enjoy his job but he still does it)

4. A woman who abandoned all of the other women who are abused the way she was even though she's quite literally in charge of the place. Who also said that a woman at her worst mentally after severe trauma should be punished by being put with her abusers.

5. And literally a 1000+ year old ex-inmate of the Prison. Baring in mind we don't know why she was in the Prison, she wasn't pardoned or anything similar she escaped so she is still a criminal as far as we know and she is the nastiest skank ass bitch ever so I can only assume she did something horrific based on everything she's ever said. Ever. (this is mostly a Mean Girls joke because Rhysand is literally a Regina George wannabe but also Amren is the nastiest skank ass bitch)

These are the same people who are pretty racist towards Illyrians, make borderline vicious animals out of Illyrian men and allow them to do as they please so that they have disposable pawns to fight their wars and have left the Illyrian women and children to be abused by them. The same people who have decided that the entirety of Hewn city are abusive, not that there could possibly be any other women or children in similar situations to Mor. The same people who, while they build their *checks notes* fifth mansion, tear down buildings for funsies because they can't abuse whoever they want to use their powers. The same people who got pissed off about someone *double checks notes* saving another world and their own.

I'm sorry (not) but the same people who support and adore and worship these characters are typically the ones who "don't want to bring politics into reading" and say things like "it's just fiction". It isn't just fiction. There is no such thing as just fiction.

Reading will always be political. And I'm using ACOTAR as an example because I'm seeing it used and found it ironic in a way but christ nearly every fantasy book if not literally every fantasy book out there has politics that can be directly correlated to our own. I mean I always say that if someone told me that different people wrote ACOTAR and Throne of Glass I would believe them but at the same time that's mostly a joke because of how drastically different they are. I found Throne of Glass so deep, so much more focused on the underdog, the seemingly smaller stories that add up the the bigger picture, the end result of everyone not just the select few (the inner circle). Don't get me wrong, there are problems with it but a lot of them are called out in the writing and you can see that for the most part it's the writing of a young dreamer. And then you have ACOTAR and it's just so privileged and biased and trying so hard to tell you that the elite are at some sort of disadvantage and like basically you could convince me it was written by a straight white man with 0 effort.

Moral of the story is, when someone like SJM uses Breonna Taylors death to hype up her own book, it's not just fiction. When SJM who very clearly self inserts into ACOTAR and puts her own beliefs that she's taken from the real world into these stories that she writes, it's not just fiction. When she takes real world examples of abuse and privilege and segregation and misogyny and whatever fucking else and puts them into her stories, it's not just fiction. When what you're reading directly correlates to or effects your own political beliefs, it's not just fiction. When what you're reading can be translated to the real world in a scarily realistic way, it's not just fiction. When we could wake up tomorrow and be in the exact same situations we read about, it's not just fiction. Fiction is fiction sure, but it will always be based on real life. There is only so much the imagination can do, it needs a base point and that is the real world. So it is never just fiction

[hvrricqneeee]

Jeyne Westerling (wife of Maegor I aka Maegor The Cruel) died in child birth at the age of 20, with her labour beginning three months early, giving birth to a stillborn child, monstrous, lacking arms and legs but possessing both male and female genitalia. Jeyne herself died soon after.

Alyssa Velaryon (mother of King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne) remarried to Rogar Baratheon and gave him a son, Boremund, and never fully recovered from the birth. Three years later, 47 year old Alyssa became pregnant and went into labour early, and because of this was on the brink of death. Rogar Baratheon order the maester to save the child, killing Alyssa.

Daella Targaryen (Rhaenyra’s maternal grandmother) dies giving birth to her daughter and only child: Aemma Arryn

Alyssa Targaryen died due to never fully recovering from giving birth to a son because she wanted to give her husband “an army of sons”.

Gael Targaryen (Rhaenyra’s great aunt), at the age of 19 was seduced and impregnable free d by a travelling singer. Gael gave birth to a stillborn son, and overwhelmed with grief, she walked into the black water bay and drowned.

Aemma Arryn has multiple miscarriages (at least five) and dies because she is cut open because Viserys wanted a son that badly, only for that son to die mere hours later.

Rhaenyra Targaryen wasn’t just scared of childbirth and pregnancy because of her mother, but because of all of these women.

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

The 'not so innocent' Grisha Soldiers

I'm still not over the fact the LB called the Grisha priviledged, not so innocent, soldiers. That 1:46 minute interview snippet has been running inside my mind all weekend. I had already made a rant about this here. but I still have some more stuff to get off of my chest and here is my follow-up rant.

In the Demon in the woods, by the author's own words, we can clearly see the difference between Grisha upbringing and Fjerdan indoctrination.

The book opens with a Fjerdan father telling stories to his kids. He talks about the Grisha like they are boogeymen and instills fear in his children from a young age. He also tells his kids about their saviours aka the good guys- the druskelle. And by the end of the storytime the boy dreamily states that he wants become a druskelle. Because in his eyes the druskelle are heros, holy warriors who fight to keep the cursed witches out of their lands. Druskelle are clearly glorified in Fjerda.

Now just look at the lessons being taught to Aleksander. He observes the otkasatzya village close by and is worried about their safety. Because the first lesson of being a Grisha is to hide from the normal folks. That does not sound very a soldier like, does it?

While the druskelle train to hunt Grisha, the Grisha are looking for ways to avoid a fight and move without detection. Another thing to note is that the druskelle are funded by their government while the Grisha are basically squatting in caves and forests. How can they both be called soldiers?

Even the peace loving Grisha are also forced to fight because if they don't they get killed.

Tell me again how are they the same?

All Aleksander did was level the playing field. Or atleast he attempted to. He unified the Grisha, gave them a place to stay, trained them and taught them how to be soldiers. Unlike the druskelle, he didn't create them to invade Fjerda or take over other countries. He was merely giving them a fighting chance. And even then, we have canonically seen, the druskelle overpower the Grisha with latest guns and weaponry.

Being forced to fight and choosing to fight are two different things. The Fjerdans have options; they could let go of their bigotry and stop enlisting in the druskelle program. What options do the Grisha have? The Fjerdans are free citizens while Grisha are basically indentured labourers. So who are in the more advantageous or should I say priviledged position?

So, how can even LB suggest that the jews's crimes were merely existing while the Grisha are soldiers and are game? How can she callously say that the Grisha are not innocent and are priviledged people? Did she even write the books? She basically erased the foundation of her own universe.

That interview was an absolute disgrace. Shame on LB.

[whencyclopedia]

Charon

Charon is a figure from Greek mythology where he is the boatman who ferries the souls of the dead across the waters of Hades to the judgement which will determine their final resting place. The Greeks believed the dead needed a coin to pay Charon for his service and so one was placed in the mouth of the deceased.

Charon was a popular subject on 5th-4th century BCE Greek pottery scenes, especially the lekythoi used to store fine oils and perfumes which were commonly buried with the dead. Charu was a similar figure in Etruscan mythology, although there he often carries a hammer. Charon continued to feature in Roman mythology and he enjoyed a revival with other classical ideas during the Renaissance (1400-1600). The largest moon of the dwarf planet Pluto is named after Charon.

The Boatman of Hades

The Greek Charon as the boatman of the dead is an idea which may well have been influenced by Mesopotamian and Egyptian mythology, where there, too, the Underworld contains rivers which hinder the progress of the soul. In Greek mythology, Charon is the son of Erebus (Darkness) and Nyx (Night). His name may have originally meant ‘fierce brightness’.

Charon’s job was to transport the shades or souls of the dead across either a river - most typically named as the Acheron and, in later sources, the poisonous Styx - or a lake, often called Acherousia. The destination was Hades, which was the Greek underworld (and also the name of the god who ruled there), or, more precisely, the inner part of that realm. Often accompanying Charon is the messenger god Hermes, who was thought to act as a guide to the dead in Hades. Often Hermes escorts the soul to Charon, who then takes them deeper into the underworld for judgement.

Hades is described in Greek literature as a cold, dark, damp, and mirthless place, which it is everyone’s fate to end up, that is until post-5th century BCE writers created an alternative destination for good souls. Accordingly, from Hades, good souls went to the Elysian Fields and forgot all their troubles and bad souls went down to Tartarus in the deepest depths of Hades. Those souls who had wronged the gods fared even worse and were given wicked and eternal punishments like Sisyphus who had to endlessly roll a boulder up a slope.

In many Greek accounts, Charon assists heroes who descend into Hades on various challenges, such as Odysseus, Orpheus, and Psyche. Hercules engaged Charon’s services when, for his twelfth and most difficult labour, he was required to fetch the terrible three-headed dog Cerberus (aka Kerberos). This terrible hound made sure nobody ever left Hades or crossed the waters without either Charon or Hermes as their guide. Charon was punished by Hades for allowing the living Hercules into the realm of the dead. The boatman was shackled for one year, which must have left quite a queue of expectant souls waiting on the shores of Acheron.

In order to ensure Charon did actually bother to take one to Hades in his boat, Greeks buried the dead with a small coin in the mouth as it was thought this money could then be useful to pay the boatman. The coin was typically an obol and was placed under the tongue. Those souls without the coin were obliged to wait on the shores for 100 years before Charon would condescend to take them across for free. A proper burial was also considered essential to allow the soul to reach Charon’s boat. In later periods, the money tradition changed to placing a coin over each eye of the deceased before burial.

Continue reading...

[charms-cat]

Nitpicking Kaos

Aka "Is it so hard to have 10 seconds of Googling?"

Dislaimer: I'm not a follower of the Greek pantheon nor am I the most avid "fan" of Greek myth (putting that in quotes bcs there are still worshippers today), but oh my God. Is it so difficult to keep the most basic of information correct? I'm not gonna nitpick on how they twist certain myths (e.g. how Orpheus gets to and gets Eurydice out of the underworld) bcs it's fine, it serves the plot they're telling so it's not like they're doing it for no reason. But the names of gods? Their titles? The fact that Hera is probably the only goddess who has remained faithful to her spouse? Is it too much to ask?

EDIT: just realised just how negative this all sounds, but I did genuinely enjoy the show and its plot. It was interesting enough to captivate me for 8 whole eps, the character dynamics were intriguing, and the portrayal of the gods was cruel and I loved it since it hammers in the disconnect/lack of empathy that they feel for mortals

Anyway, here's a list of nitpicks [SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT] feel free to correct me if I'm wrong

Heracles, not Hercules

Why do people keep getting this wrong? The name of a literal Greek Goddess (Hera) is part of his name. How are you gonna make Zeus praise him, but still get his name wrong

Hestia

Why is Hestia reduced to being a fucking dog????????? Not just any dog either, she's Zeus's dog that already died, absolutely no chance of an appearance of his fifth sibling unless you wanna make it that Zeus was such a dick that he named his dog after his sister. It's not like she has a "useless" domain. She's one of the three most well-known virgin goddesses. She's the goddess of the home and hearth and of the sacrificial fire. She's the one who receives the first offering at a (domestic) sacrifice so why is she just a dog??

Hera

If I had a nickel for every time I read a retelling where she cheats on Zeus with his brother, I'd have two nickels (the first was Lore Olympus, if you're curious). Hera is supposed to represent the ideal wife, the literal goddess of lawful marriage so how the fuck can you make her be unfaithful?????????

Poseidon

Not so much a nitpick than a question, said question being "why are we acting like Poseidon doesn't have a wife, the nereid Amphitrite, queen of the seas" did they get divorced? Is that why he's lusting after Hera

Hades

He's the god of THE DEAD. Thanatos is the god of death ffs; he's the literal personification of death. Thanatos takes mortal souls, and Hades presides over said dead souls. It would've taken only a few seconds to change Hades's title card and for Persephone to call him "god of the dead" instead of the "god of death". Nothing about Hades's position even hints to him presiding over death itself. We only ever see him running the underworld (Y'know, where all the dead are?). They literally had to change nothing but his title card and what Persephone calls him

Persephone

This isn't really a nitpick on her character, but.... if she's in the underworld, shouldn't it be winter? It doesn't matter that she truly loves Hades or that she went willingly, Part of what fueled Demeter's winter is her grief over losing/being away from her daughter so why is it so damn sunny when we cut to the mortal world

Orpheus

Again, not a nitpick but a definite downplay of his musical abilities considering the fact that the song he sung to convince Hades and Persephone had literally stopped the underworld in its tracks

Prometheus

Not an egregious change, but I'll say it anyway: Wasn't he freed by Heracles during his 12 labours? It's not like he needs to be chained up, pretty sure the resentment that comes from centuries or millenia of having your liver pecked out and eaten would sustain his hatred for an equal amount of time

Minos

Their decision to make him a president instead of a king is not only unnecessary, but it makes him look like the Greek ver of Putin. I mean, they really didn't need to add in the part where Ariadne(?) says something along the lines of "you should let the people vote, they'd choose you anyway". Just... the implication that he simply declared himself president is dumb as hell. Despite Athens being the birthplace of democracy, I don't think they even had presidents in Ancient Greece. You could literally just call Minos a king and virtually nothing about the plot would even change so why bother. Is this really just their attempt at "modernising" their world/setting? It's not like we don't have kings in this day and age

Minotaur

It's true that Glaucus is a sibling of Ariadne, but the Minotaur is a whole separate sibling. The Minotaur even has his own name: Asterion/Asterius. Just another case of "why did they have to change this?" Literally just swap out the name "Glaucus" for "Asterion" and not only will (yet again) virtually nothing about the plot change, but it would be more mythologically accurate and less confusing for people who do know the myths. In fact, it could've been a fun hint for people who know the myths to clock what really happened to "Glaucus" early on, but still have them questioning "how did he become the Minotaur in this version?"

Pasiphae/Pas

Ngl I'm kinda sad that Pas seems to be just a normal mortal woman bcs, in Greek myth, she was a sorceress-goddess, the daughter of Helios. Plus, although I think it's kinda fucked up that she was forced to fuck/be fucked by the Cretan bull (bcs being "made to fall in love" is not the same as "falling in love"), I think it would've been interesting to explore not only her grief over losing a child, but the grief that comes from realising that he never was and never could be accepted by either Gods or mortals. Also, it would've made her obsession over him look slightly less selfish (and lowkey creepy) if we found out that part of the reason was that she knew her son could never live among humans as half-man, half-bull so she resorted to making wax figures that would've at least let her imagine what it would've been like if he wasn't the result of divine punishment

Theseus

Was literally just an Easter egg. Downgraded from a prince of Athens to a Cretan bodyguard. Didn't even do his most notable act (killing the Minotaur) or even get sent to the Labyrinth in the first place. Makes him feel very much like a character that the writers added just to say, "Look! Look, we know Greek myth!" Especially since Theseus disappeared into thin air after the Trojan 7 were arrested. I don't think they even showed him in the crowd with Andromache, mourning Astyanax

Non-character Nitpicks (yeah, I got more)

Bees

Not really bothered by this, but I'm pretty sure that bees aren't even one of Hera's sacred animals. They could've made it peacocks, make the birds wander the grounds and when the reveal drops, the symbol of opulence turns into an unabashed display of cruelty

Ichor

Admittedly, the colour of ichor in Ancient Greek texts has always been ambiguous. But I feel like it would've been an interesting visual for their blood to be a non-red colour; maybe the popular gold, for example. Bcs it would've A) drawn a clear line between Gods and mortals and further "validated" the Gods' hubris by serving as visual proof that there's an undeniable difference between them and the mortals; and B) would've really caused Zeus to panic when he saw that his blood was red instead of gold, make him think that he's becoming mortal, vulnerable, weak

Styx

Minor nitpick, but isn't the sentence for not being able to pay the toll only 100 years, not 200? Why the extra 100 years? Why even change this? If they really wanted to make it feel like a long sentence, then they should've gone for 500 or 1000 years. Living even just 100 years of doing the same thing with no variation or even the choice to opt out, or even being able to taste anything, would start feeling hellish sooner than you might think

Couples

This might just be the aromantic in me, but why is there so much romance???? And it's between couples that never existed in the OG myths

1. Hera/Poseidon - why??? I've already talked about how it goes against Hera's character, but if they really wanted them to have a "deep" relationship, they're literally siblings?? They could just bond over having to be the ones that keep Zeus in line or being the only ones responsible for actually ruling their realms (bcs Amphitrite is nowhere to be found). They didn't need to insult Hera's character like that

2. Theseus/Astyanax - I'd have less problem with this if it didn't seem like Theseus wanted Ari to only save Nax instead of all 7 Trojans. It makes it feel like they're fueling the idea that a person would only be desperate to save the person they love romantically. E.g., a husband saving his wife, but not someone saving their best friend

3. Prometheus/Charon - same problem as the Theseus/Nax ship, especially with the added line that Prometheus needs to rely on "someone who will do anything for you" (or sumn like that). Like,,,, you can do that for your friend too, y'know. It's not out of the realm of possibility to miss your friend or love them so deeply that you'd do anything for them. It's literally a well-known joke(?) that there are friends who'd help you hide the body. It'd just be a more intense ver of that between Charon and Prometheus. They didn't need to be romantic to showcase Charon's trust in and dedication to helping Prometheus

4. Caeneus/Eurydice - I'm so tired of people falling in love in less than a week (I don't think this relationship even reached a full three days). Iirc y'all had a grand total of 6 conversations - first at the Frame, second meeting when Riddy introduces herself as a diver, third at the party, fourth when they're sitting on the bench, fifth when they have their short escapade to the Nothing, sixth in Caeneus's bedroom.

I mean,,,,, I get that they shared meaningful conversations, but I swear none of said conversations even lasted more than 5 minutes so where on Earth is this "love" coming from?? Y'all have barely scratched the surface of what you know of each other but you think you're connected??? Get real

Ending on a positive note

I actually love the Furies and the Fates. The Furies more for their looks and their vibe and especially the Fates for their (literal) know-it-all nonchalant attitude. I hope they come back next season.

The set design and colouring is also top tier, from the underworld filtered in black and white and looking industrial and office-like to the vibrant colours and festivity of Earth to the opulence of Olympus

Some actual trans and disability rep! I've been burned before with the trans rep since the Netflix adaptation of "Alice in Borderlands" has a cis woman playing a transfem, but Misia Butler is an actual transmasc! [Nobody argue that AIB couldn't have an actual transfem bcs of Japan's transphobia bcs I can tell you what's not helping trans rights: having cis women play transfem roles, thinking it makes no difference anyway. Good rep can pave the way for acceptance]

The disability rep in actors is so fucking bad that I genuinely thought most people with disabilities just didn't become actors. I only knew that the daughter in "A Quiet Place" was actually deaf bcs I went to look it up. Anyway, hope Mat Fraser (Daedalus aka only decent father figure) comes back bcs no way he actually got eaten, right? Right????

[anon-e-miss]

I was rereading that sad mama barbarian AU and got to this part:

“If Straxis had received Prowl sooner, he might have forgotten about Free Wheeler. He would have been too preoccupied with the Praxian’s fertile spark. Jazz was disgusted with himself, but he could not chase the thought away.”

Which got me thinking… What if that HAD happened? What if Prowl had been received just in time to spare Free Wheeler from catching a rust infection, but Prowl had caught it instead? What would have happened to his bitlets? What would have happened to Free Wheeler and Prowl?

So Free Wheeler caught a rust infection due to complications from giving emergence.

It’s like child bed fever aka sepsis.

If Free Wheeler had not been botnapped because Straxus had been given a great prize, he wouldn’t have been alone for emergence.

Except, with the timeline, he was already botnapped before Crosscut died, long before.

What Prowl turning up earlier could have done is given Free Wheeler experienced support in his labours since Prowl… well he’s been through it a few times. He might have been able to prevent the infection or been able to assist after it developed.

[simplegeneral]

So I was reading into Dragonlance, one setting of dnd and I encountered a very remarkable red dragon in my opinion

Flamestrike, or aka Matafleur is an ancient red dragoness who fought in the Third Dragon War, after witnessing her entire offspring being killed by dragonlances, she retreated and disappeared from sights for centuries, until resurfacing to help the dragonarmies during the War of the Dragon Lance.

She was tasked to protect the fortress in Pax Tharkas, the new HQ of the dragonarmy. However, due to her aging and becoming senile, blind of one eye and lacking some self-care, she started to take care of the children under her watch as refugees came by and were used as slave labour by her lords.

Matafleur took care of them, referring to them as hers and actually tried to not cause any harm to them.

Later, as the adventurers come to free the slaves, she didn't attack them, as much as she wanted to, to do so would harm the children under her care, so she relutanctly let them go. Later Ember, a red dragon, mount of a dragon highlord come to take revenge upon the loss of the fortress, battling the adventurers.

In a outburst of rage upon hearing the dragon highlord would execute everyone, the children included, she attacked them, throwing the lord away and battling the stronger and mot fit Ember. She later threw him and herself at a mountain, causing the rocks to slide and kill them both.

-------------

You know, I love evil characters trying to be sweet, I think its my favorite trope, its the reason why I created Launairk, a big scary monster trying to be harmless to the defenseless beings around it, and so I immediately loved Matafleur, no matter how small her character was to the whole plot.

Aside being an opposite red dragon in many standards, as they are infamous for eating the young from other races.

A 100ft long (30 meters, for my based non imperials), she was freaking massive and I can only imagine her interactions with literally small children. I believe she would be a stern motherly figure, harsh and angry, but never dared to hurt them.

Probably also roasted some meat for them, near carbonized, its... Not the best thing to eat, but hey, would they refuse mommy's food? They wouldn't, yeah. 💀

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

I used to be a SWERF until January. Now I realise how much harm that caused and I am so sorry for being so ignorant to sex workers who are probably among the most vulnerable women out there (and men and enbies too). Consensual sex work is work and I strongly advocate its legality so we can properly regulate it to be less exploitative.

Thing is when something is legal, it’s easy to control and regulate it. You can see how all the rules that should be in place with drugs and alcohol are blatantly ignored when they’re illegal. Same goes for sex work.

The regulations should be that sex workers get most of the pay they get and any pimps involved should only get part of it since the workers did most of the work although I’m still on the fence with pimping. Obviously you should be 18 years old or over and sex workers should be able to unionise. Denying sexual services should also be allowed.

I think we can view things as contractors or direct hires. If SW were legitimized as a business, SWers wouldn’t need “pimps” (aka traffickers). If they preferred to go legit, then they’re managers or business owners. I have a feeling, just like a “plug” when cannabis was legalized in certain states, they like tax free revenue and the freedom to exploit their “product” without govt oversight. I’d still like to see it legalized or at least decriminalized, for safety reasons. Plus health insurance.

Sex work should indeed be legal, and if you’re interested to learn more about effective policies around it, look into the discourse around decriminalization. (you can take it a step further by listening to sex workers and sw unions who call for decriminalization NOT legalization.) That’s the preferred model for many (if not most) sex workers. It’s a very interesting and important topic.

We all use our bodies for money. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. There is no difference between a tiler using his arms and legs etc to do their job, and a sex worker using their genitals to do their job. Therefore, every sex worker should have the same rights as every other worker - a safe, regulated and respectful work environment with access to all the tools required to do their job safely.

she really came into my inbox thinking she did something. i know the arguments. none of this changes that legal prostitution gives men the right to enforce unwanted sex with women, and increases demand, and consent cant be bought. the issue in many cases is not that women are forced by violence but by financial duress. thats why they dont say no. the issue is the sex buyers who feel entitled to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled. enduring sex is not a profession and making someone endure sex for money is not claiming a service. in actual jobs you dont sell your body, you sell your labour. there‘s more to unpack here but i cant even take someone serious who‘s on the fence about pimping lol. if youre interested to learn more check out #anti prostitution instead of being smug assuming others dont know what we‘re talking about.

[destroy-some-evil]

I saw @heretherebedork response to an ask about what non-BLs people should watch and the Sentinel came up as one everyone should watch. I completely agree and to see if in the year 2024 I can interest some more people to maybe give an old show from 1996 a chance - I have complied a bunch fic recs for people.

I actually got into the fandom by first reading LitGal's summary here back in the early 2000's after the show was off air, read a whole bunch of fanfic, and then watched it. There is also a Fanlore page here.

The Sentinel was Omegaverse before Omegaverse. I miss having the Sentinel AU in fandoms. It hits many of the same notes as Omegaverse but has a different beat. There is scenting, there is bonding, there is imprinting, depending on who's writing it - there is D/s just integrated into the way Sentinel and Guide behave with each other.

A lot of my old favorites are lost but a small selection of my favorite Sentinel fics and AUs:

Control Issues (186028 words) by LitGal Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: The Sentinel Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg Characters: Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks Additional Tags: Alternate Universe: Sentinels and Guides are Known Summary: In a world that knows, loves, respects, but doesn't trust its Sentinels, Jim is determined to hide his abilities. He won't submit to a guardian ad litem having custody of him in a legal system that ranks him on the same level as a child. He will not give up his control, not to anyone.

Guidelines: Beginnings (20238 words) by LitGal Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sentinel Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Blair Sandburg, Jim Ellison, Simon Banks Additional Tags: Sentinels are Known Series: Part 1 of Guidelines Summary: Jim is a sentinel who failed the U.S. Sentinel Program under questionable circumstances. Blair is the graduate student challenging the entire philosophy of the Sentinel Program in a world already nervous in the aftermath of terrorist attacks. The USSP would just like to see both men disappear. Unfortunately for them, neither Jim nor Blair is planning to give up easily.

(If LitGal wrote it, I'll read it. So I'll only rec these two from her but seriously just go through everything.)

Alpha and Omega By Panik & The Candied Yam

Roman!AU

Summary: Four years after the third Punic War, wounded Roman war hero, Geminius Virius Eleusis, finds his dull life of exile shaken by the arrival of an itinerant Greek labourer.

The First Sentinel (AKA The Ultimate Caveman!Jim Story) (1947 words) by elaine Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sentinel Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg Additional Tags: Alternate Universes, Humor, Series, Fanon Series: Part 1 of Five Ways Jim and Blair Never Met in Past Lives Summary: The first sentinel claims his guide in spite of language difficulties and much misunderstanding.

A Dish of Lime-Vanilla Ice by Scribe

Summary: What if you met your true love at the end of their life, when yours was just beginning? 144K

(They are soulmates, Your Honor! Reincarnation!fic. This fic also lives rent free in my mind.)

Harbor of My Heart (82523 words) by Romslinger Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sentinel Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg Additional Tags: Alternate Universes, Drama, First Times, Romance, AU, Angst Summary: An Alternate Universe novella where Jim remained in the Army and Blair made a much different career choice after a personal tragedy.

(also a kid!fic)

The Accidental Guide (14918 words) by 852_Prospect_Archivist Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sentinel Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg Additional Tags: Alternate Universes, challenge, Drama, First Times, AU, Angst Summary: Jim wasn't looking for a guide, but then he met Blair Sandburg.

Destiny's Bond (40093 words) by 852_Prospect_Archivist Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sentinel, Stargate SG-1 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg Additional Tags: Crossovers: Other, Drama, AU Summary: While on a mission with SG-14, Dr. Blair Sandburg finds his destiny.

Jeeves and the Uncommon Senses (83211 words) by Mice Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster, The Sentinel Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Bertie/Jeeves Characters: Bertram Wooster, Reginald Jeeves, Aunt Agatha, Aunt Dahlia, Bingo Little, Angela Travers, Tuppy Glossop, Oofy Prosser, Tom Travers, Claude Wooster, Eustace Wooster, OCs, Blair Sandburg Additional Tags: Angst, h/c, Alternate Universe - Sentinels Are Known, Spirit Animals, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Mashup, Crossover, unexpected special guest stars, AU Summary: An accident triggers unexpected changes in Jeeves’s life -- and in Bertie’s.

Observations on Sentinels and Guides in Victorian London (89181 words) by RyuuzaKochou Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (2009), The Sentinel Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Lestrade (Inspector), Mrs. Hudson Additional Tags: Sentinel Senses, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Awesome, Romance, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Alternate Universe - Fusion Summary: A Victorian era AU where Sentinels and Guides are members of everyday society. Starring Sentinel! Holmes and Guide! Watson.

Imperfections: Chicago by Dasha

Chapters: 3/3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Constable Benton Fraser, Constable Margaret Thatcher, Detective Raymond Vecchio, Detective Stanley Raymond Kowalski, Sgt. Robert Fraser [ghost]

Additional Tags: AU

Summary: Who tracks a wolf 30 blocks through downtown Chicago? That's just not normal...

I also used to have a bunch of Stargate Atlantis with John as the Sentinel and Rodney as the guide. It was a series by ladyholder on livejournal including the The Unlikely Guide and The Unwilling Sentinel. Just adding at the end in case anyone has links to them.

[dreamingofscully]

Gonna be making a list of XF authors who have shown support for Palestine aka shared information over social media.

Feel free to DM me if you are an author and want to be included, or know of other authors that should be included (or if you would like your name off of this list).

I’m doing this for my own interest (I like to support ppl who deserve it, and don’t like supporting those who are problematic). Since October I’ve distanced myself from the fandom bc I’ve been extremely disappointed by former friends/fans and the actors involved. I’ve found my way back, though, and am enjoying it in my own way. And just like enjoying other books and media, I am much more intentional with what I choose to read and support.

Fandom spaces aren’t a place where you should bury your head in the sand and forget about the world. Pretending that Palestinians/Sudanese/Congolese/etc aren’t suffering only helps their oppressors. I’m not trying to pass myself off as the most moral person in the world, but sharing information on social media is an extremely easy and effective thing to do, and people that are not or refuse to do that very basic minimum (nevermind actual fucking zionists 🤢) are not worth my time.

Mulder and Scully have shown me that it’s important to fight for truth and justice, even if it’s uncomfortable or if you have to go against conventional thought. To me, it’s a no brainer to be against the genocide of Palestinians, to want to end the slave labour of the mines in Congo, and to help the Sudanese as they are caught between two opposing forces, funded by wealthy interests who don’t care who lives or dies. And there are other examples all over the world that stem from the same cause.

No one has the right to more than any other person. No one has the right to kill, or steal, no matter the reason, but least of all because the “other” has been dehumanized to the point that people feel like it is okay to treat them worse than animals.

And if you think these rich people playing games with people lives and lands won’t reach you here, you are kidding yourselves. It’s already here, it has been here, but people are too distracted by celebrity and fandom to give a shit. It’s intentional, and you can remain asleep, or wake up and do something about it.

It might seem impossible to fight a system when we’re so disconnected and so small in the face of politics and billionaires and corporate interests, but there’s more of us than them. All it takes is the truth. It’s what Mulder and Scully fight for, them against the world. We should follow their lead.

[thefakegeekg1rl]

r u having a sexy saturday? no? let me help.

here's a photo drop from @openbarreburlesque's #Cyberotica: A Techno-Future Cabaret. enjoy the digital fruit of our labour.

full set available on Patreon /thefakegeekgirl (link in bio)

feat (in order of appearance):

@aaronwatershowdrag in "Cyberdick"

@charity.sharealike breaking free from The Matrix

@risque.noir as The Oracle from The Matrix

@monsieurbombastic in "Ultranumb"

@camilleleonburlesque in "Kinetic Power"

@mollymeru as a cyber doll assassin from Cyberpunk 2077

@missnyxon in "Disturbed Ascent," a human pincushion act

@fall0nxx in "We Appreciate Power"'

@em.erald.ivy as Cash (aka Angelina Jolie) from Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow

@vivi.valens in Demolition Man

sirs not appearing in this carousel: producers @thehelenahandbasket @thefakegeekg1rl + Randy "No Insta" Redbeard and our fave venue @thenewporttheater

like what u see? don't miss our next show, Burlesque Babes in the Woods, also at The Newport on 10/12. ticket link in bio.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Luckiest Girl In The World – Preview

When Max found out that Kyla's summer plans had amounted to "I don't know, hang out in the city I guess, avoid Kate's constant questions, go back to being boring until school starts up", he had called her tragic and told her that instead she would be spending the summer with him, first in Monaco and then the Caribbean, wrapping it up with Labour Day in the Hamptons. It hadn't been a question, so she'd just nodded and let Luna take over her packing.

Now, a few weeks into the best and most torturous summer of her life, Kyla had found one glaring mistake in her plans. Instead of getting over her feelings for Max – the huge, embarrassing crush that she was determined not to have because Max Wolfe would never feel the same way about her – a summer of hot weather, skimpy clothing, and very close proximity had only made them that much stronger.

(AKA an excuse to write gratuitous smut that got out of hand, so for now have 2k of exposition leading into the first smut scene)

notes: rated T – suggestive but not graphic so read at your own discretion (lmk if I should add any warnings or change the rating); title comes from Pretty Woman: The Musical

Tag List: @airwolf92 – want to be added?

“I like being in our super secret bubble,” Kyla said, looking up at Max through dark lashes.  “Even Gossip Girl doesn’t know where we are.  It’s like... I don’t know, like we’re actually free.”

Max looked back at her, face as unreadable as ever.  His cheeks were flushed pink from the alcohol they’d been drinking, bringing out the blue of his eyes, and even the sticky humidity hadn’t been enough to destroy his artfully messy hair.

God, she could have stared at him forever.  She probably would have, if he hadn’t pulled her out of her thoughts.

“I like it too,” he said.  “There’s a freedom here that New York doesn’t have, even before Gossip Girl made a debut.”

It was the most open she’d ever seen him and it was magnetic.  She couldn’t look away, could only gaze up at him with wide eyes, leaning just a bit closer —

DING

The elevator reached their floor, and Kyla jumped slightly.  Max wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her, the combination of alcohol and high heels still giving her difficulty, and she couldn’t help but shiver when his fingertips brushed lightly against the side of her breast.

He guided her down the hall to their suite, his hand burning on her bare skin in a way she knew that she would never be able to forget.  

It’s not that Max was never sweet in New York — everyone knew just how charming Max Wolfe could be — but their trip had loosened him up and she would always love this beautiful country for giving her this side of him.

He unlocked their door, following her into the dimly lit living room.  The suite was, in a word, ridiculous.  In another word, extravagant.  It took up two floors, each one with a bedroom, living room, and terrace, all glittering opulence and incredible seaside views.  Max had told her, back on the first day, that it wasn’t actually the most expensive room in the hotel, but he’d insisted that the jacuzzi — the only thing lacking in the princely suite — was non-negotiable.  And really, after weeks of spending her evenings sitting in that jacuzzi trying not to stare at Max, shirtless beside her, she could understand the appeal.

Max had claimed the lower floor for its large office, but spent most of his days working in the upper floor’s living room instead.  Kyla liked it better that way, it meant that while she spent most of her time out on the terrace or in the pool, sunbathing or swimming or reading, she could look over at the wall-to-wall windows and see him glancing back at her.  She always found herself thinking of Pretty Women, privately thinking of herself as the Vivian to Max’s Edward as she accompanied him on his trip, Max paying for almost an entirely new wardrobe and teaching her the ins and outs of high society.  The prideful part of her hated the comparison, but another, secret, part of her almost envied Vivian — at least Edward had wanted her.

Kyla had promised herself that she would get over him.  Being together all summer was supposed to officially cement him into the friends category, not add to her stupid, embarrassing crush.  But day after day in the most beautiful place she’d ever seen, spending almost every waking hour together?  It would have been torture no matter what.  But in Monaco?  Where they spent hours lounging by the pool, where she could watch water drip-drip-drip down the flat planes of his stomach?  Where they spent half of their dinners at beautiful, expensive, intimate restaurants and the other half on their quiet, peaceful, isolated terrace?  Where Max was bringing her to casinos and yachts and operas, dressing her to the nines and keeping an arm around her all night, showing her off like she was somehow impressive?  Where he flew them to other European cities if Kyla so much as mentioned a passing interest, where he didn’t utter a single complaint when Kyla wanted to visit tourist attractions that he’d undoubtedly seen a hundred times?

Kyla had always known that Max Wolfe was nothing like any other boy she’d known, but Monaco had shown her a brand new side of him.  A side that was, somehow, even more captivating than she could have imagined.

There had been a time, once, where she thought he might have wanted her.  When she was first pulled into their group, unrecognizable even to herself as Luna and Monet dragged her into Dumbo Hall.  She’d been in a short gold dress, almost the same shade as her hair, with gold Louboutin heels that she could hardly walk in.  She’d stumbled as they entered, and Max had been by her side instantly to catch her.  His arm around her waist, a suggestive smirk on his face, his interest had been obvious even before Monet had told him to “fuck the blushing virgin out of her.”

But nothing had ever come of it.  He’d gotten her back to his place, pushing her against a few walls to make out along the way.  But once his shirt was off and her dress was pooled around her feet, she froze.  His gaze had been intense, heated in a way that she’d never experienced, and without even realizing it, she’d wrapped her arms back around herself and started to shut down.

To his credit, Max had been incredible.  He’d immediately grabbed a robe for her, and another for himself, gently guiding her away from his bed and towards a couch instead.  He’d told her that they didn’t have to fuck, he wasn’t into sleeping with anyone who wasn’t willing, and he’d have no problem lying to the girls to keep them off her back.

At the time, it had given him a certain Prince Charming allure, cementing his position as possibly the only person in the Upper East Side that she could actually trust.  But as time went on, as she found herself more and more curious about the Max Wolfe Experience, as he never gave her another look, it had begun to sting.  How was it that Max could be interested in every single person he met except for her?  She hated to care so much about one boy’s opinion, but his lack of interest left her constantly doubting herself.  Was she not attractive enough?  Was she so undesirable that even the biggest playboy in the city didn’t want her?  Or had her initial panic locked her into his mind as just a stupid little girl, someone he needed to babysit, not someone he’d want to fuck?

Usually, after a late night out, they would return to the upper living room together, where Kyla could kick off her heels and Max would remove his tie, sharing a bottle of champagne and a platter of chocolate covered strawberries, before eventually retiring to their respective rooms.

But as he closed the door behind them, Max looked down at her.  There was something heavy in his gaze, something heady, intense in a way she’d never seen him.  She stared back at him, barely breathing as she waited for — whatever was coming, she really didn’t know.

Kyla had no idea how much time passed, just staring at each other, breathing in each other’s air, chests rising and falling in sync; it might have been an hour, maybe only a minute.  Then, Max brushed a finger beneath her chin, tilting it up ever so slightly, and pressed his lips to hers.

The world vanished in a primal haze.  All Kyla could do was melt into his touch, gasping softly when he slid his tongue into her mouth, parting her lips and letting him take whatever he wanted.

That seemed to encourage him.  He fisted her hair, tugging gently, tipping her head back to bare the soft flesh of her neck, and trailed bruising kisses down, down, down to her collarbone — teeth grazing her skin, sending a jolt of heat through her body. As he did, his other hand slid from her waist to the small of her back, slipping beneath the fabric of her backless dress.

She was on fire, burn-burn-burning under his ministrations.  Every touch felt like white hot needles pressed against her sensitive skin, too much and not nearly enough. He moved down to the jut her collarbone and Kyla finally came to her senses enough to move, tangling a hand in his hair, the other finding a place on his chest, curling into a fist around the fabric of his shirt.

“Max,” she whined when he pulled back, humming contentedly when he pressed another kiss to her swollen lips.

“Bedroom,” he said, voice rough in a way that made her knees shake.

She stumbled, catching herself with one hand on the wall and the other still gripping his shirt.

Max smirked at that, the same smug smirk that had always made her feel like a particularly cute pet, equal parts hot and condescending.  But where it usually left her frustrated, irritated and wanting to prove herself, this time it only added to the heat in her belly.  And this time, she could use her hold on his shirt to tug him down and kiss it right off of him.

When she pulled back, it was her turn to smirk at the look of shock on his face.

“Menace.”

“What are you going to do about it?” she retorted.

It was the wrong — or very right, really — thing to say, and before she could quite realize what was happening, he’d lifted her up.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, certain that the heels of her shoes had to be digging into his back, but he didn’t seem bothered as he carried her down the hall towards his bedroom.

Kyla hadn’t known that he was that strong, but god, if it wasn’t doing something to her.  She definitely wouldn’t be forgetting how it felt, his arms wound firmly around her and his abs flexing against her stomach. With Max focused on opening the door, Kyla dropped her head down to latch onto the crook of his neck; if he could cover her in bite marks, she could give him one too.

He groaned, and Kyla could feel the vibration all the way through her body.  She tightened her legs around his waist, punctuating the hickey with another bite.

He set her down on the edge of the bed, standing in between her legs.

“Menace,” he repeated.

Kyla smiled up at him innocently, before taking advantage of his tie to pull him down for another kiss.  He was quick to reclaim control — really, Kyla could definitely have predicted that Max Wolfe would be the type to take charge in bed — and she was happy to let him.  

Max pulled back first, silk tie slipping through Kyla’s fingers as he did.  She sat, frozen, watching him.  Was he about to leave?  Going to call it a mistake, call it a night, pretend it never happened?  Had she been an idiot for ever thinking—

Oh.  Oh.  She’d been so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed him unbuttoning his shirt until it was hitting the floor along with his blazer and the oh-so-tempting tie.

She had seen Max shirtless before.  Several times.  When she’d crash with him after parties, when they’d all spent New Year’s in Hudson, and every single day since they’d landed in Monaco.  Safe to say, she was familiar with the view.

But she’d never been able to appreciate it before, not really.  She’d never been able to just look, to stare unapologetically at the flat planes of pale skin, or to touch, to reach out and trace her finger over the faint lines of muscle, to place her palm flat on his stomach, sliding it up-up-up over his chest until she could feel his heart beating fast against her hand.  She could feel his nipple stiffen under her hand, and couldn’t resist the urge to tweak it lightly.

He gasped.

[crazycoke-addict]

HIMYM: Who should be dressed up as who in the breakfast club.

In How I met your mother, when lily is in labour. Robin and Ted decide to tell stories in order to distract her from the pain. In one part, Ted brings up the time, where they were going to dress up as the breakfast club characters for Halloween, but they fail to coordinate their costumes. It leads to all of them dressing up as John Bender (The Criminal).

So, I was wondering if they did actually coordinate their costumes. Which HIMYM member would be which breakfast club member. I decided to go based on their personality and even appearance when they were teenagers. We'll start with the criminal first.

To me, it makes sense for Lily Aldrin to dress up as the criminal. During the times they talk about Lily's past involving her youth, she has had a habit of shop lifting. In the episode, where the gang were arguing who was the badass of their group. Lily's story ended up being true.

The next person we are going to look at is Marshall, and I think that Marshall should've dressed up as Andrew Clark, aka the jock. Now, the times we see teenage Marshall, he doesn't actually fit in and jock as physical appearance. But he's more of the most sportsman like than the other two men. Being raised by only brothers and being seen as the runt of the family. Marshall had to prove his worth, and doing so is through masculinity. He knows a lot about sports because of his dad, with whom he had a close bond.

Robin is next, and hers was a bit tricky. Through her teenage life, she has gone through a lot of phases. When she was being raised by her dad, he raised her as a son in which she learned like hunting, hockey, etc. After the incident involving her kissing her team member. Robin moved in with her mum, where she grew her hair out and dyed it blonde. She became a Canadian pop star. Then she went through a crisis, where she went into her bad girl phase during her Canadian pop star era.

But thinking it so clearly, Robin is doing to dressed up as Claire Standish, aka The Princess. In Canon, Robin is the most well-known and popular due to her career as a journalist. She is loved or hated by women, and men are attracted to her, that she tends to get free stuff from them.

Now, we are going to do Ted, and his is the easiest. Ted will dress up as Brian Johnson, aka The Nerd. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Ted is a nerd by heart. He's into nerdy things like the coin collecting, facts about everything, Star Wars, Renaissance fairs, and many more. While they never say what Ted's report card would've been. It's possible that he probably got As and Bs except maybe P.E.

The last HIMYM member is Barney, and he will dress up as the last breakfast club member, Allison Reynolds, aka The Basket case. Now, having Barney dressed up as the Basket case doesn't make sense. But when you look at Allison as a character, you notice the similarities between her and Barney. They are both pathological liars. They do their own thing, which the others are entertained by. The fact that Allison went to detention because she was bored feels like something Barney would do.