#again you can interpret however you desire if you think they are something else that’s fine

[shiningstarr15]

Alright I’ve seen enough takes on this and while I understand everyone’s viewpoint and validate it I want to give mine bc mine is probably a very niche perspective.

When it comes to the relationship between Gregory and Vanessa, I do view them as siblings. And no not in the umbrella way, not in the “this is the only thing that makes the most sense” sort of way, I mean they have sibling energy period. And I’ll tell you why.

Bc I do not view them as being immediate found family. At all. They have too much trauma both independently and with each other. I don’t even think they’d like each other very much at first. I feel like their initial relationship would be more of a ”you saved me so I’ll return the favor by helping you out” way.

Personally. I don’t think relationships with strong bonds should immediately go into something romantic or familial (maybe it’s cuz I’m raging aroace and very platonic/queerplatonic bc I know that’s an unpopular opinion) but in my eyes, you NEED TO BUILD A FRIENDSHIP FIRST. and I think that’s exactly what they’re gonna do.

They’re gonna slowly and gradually form a friendship, one that most people would think is strange and unusual bc it’s an adult and a child but let’s be fr neither of them are what you’d consider “typical” (yes I personally hc them both being ND. Again, this is my opinion). I also don’t think they don’t really give af what people think. So why would they bother putting a label that they don’t really agree with on them? No imo they won’t do that unless they truly do mean it.

Again, this could very well be projecting. But I am personally someone that doesn’t like being given a “sister” label unless it’s actually meant. Maybe it’s my extreme sibling complex. But I don’t think I’m wrong for feeling that way. And imo, I think overtime they would view each other in the way best friends view each other as siblings. I don’t even think there would even need to be anything legal. But if there was, she would be a legal guardian at best. Bc it still gives the freedom to identify how they choose. And to me, it’s very similar to Lilo and Nani from “Lilo and Stitch.”

Bc I think two things can be true at the same time. Vanessa can be a caregiver, and have some responsibilities when it comes to making sure Gregory is ok and kept safe. But also, she herself needs someone to take care of her. Bc she can’t. And while I do like the idea of Freddy taking care of them both, I also like them taking care of each other.

She definitely has aspects that could be seen as maternal, but I don’t view her as essentially parental. She simply isn’t ready. There’s too much trauma and a bit of emotional immaturity (again not a bad thing, she’s very childlike imo). I think she sees him more equal than that. Not someone that is helpless and needs to be watched 24/7. But someone that needs a little guidance every now and then. And that’s where I think looking up to her in an older sibling kinda way comes in.

She’s like a combined playmate and caregiver. An equal partner but also someone that takes on the worst of the burden so he doesn’t have to. Even though he will do so anyway bc he cares that much about her.

So yea, that’s my take on their relationship. Again, it’s just my opinion, and I understand people not agreeing and wanting something else for them. But this is how I choose to view them, and I don’t think that it’s wrong ❤️

[gorgeouslypink]

My Take on Manifesting + How to Use It to Wake Up in the Voidੈ✩‧₊˚

The Law of Assumption (LOA) in a nutshell is the concept that whatever you assume to be true is the truth. The most common and popular summary is: an assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact.

You've probably heard this a million times before, but I really want to explain this the way I interpret the law and I want to present it to you the way I wish it was presented to me.

The entire law operates on the principle that your 3d reflects your 4d. These terms are interchangeable with concious/subconcious, inner man/outer man, etc but basically that is the main principle that you should understand and accept: Your 3d reflects your 4d.

Now, here's where I deviate a bit into my personal opinions. If you know that your 3d reflects your 4d and you see something unfavorable happening in your 3d, why would you force yourself to pretend it doesn't exist? Deal with it in the 3d but KNOW that you can change things. Go and fufill what you want in your 4d.

Imagination Creates Reality.

You've probably heard this said a million times by LOA girls but it is such an important concept to understand.

Something that completely annoyed me back when I was trying to get into the void and had no grasp on LOA was people who would say that your imagination is your "true" reality or that you need to fufill yourself so much in your imagination to the point that you don't even care about it anymore in your reality. I do understand what they were trying to get at, but for me, I was just like if I want to manifest going to a concert, I don't want to just imagine it to the point where I'm fufilled, I want to actually watch it?

Let me explain my perspective now. Your imagination is not your reality. You can close your eyes right now and imagine yourself dating Harry Styles but once you open your eyes again, you're not going to be dating him. Imagining something doesn't make it magically appear in your reality, or else daydreamers would be living insane lives.

However, imagination CREATES your reality. To really understand this, we have to backtrack. Let's revisit LOA in a nutshell: An assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact.

I think most people understand the idea but acctually applying it is where everything comes crashing down. For me, there were so many times when I was super motivated, I listened to subliminals, I affirmed to myself, I was really assuming whatever I was trying to manifest. But then it didn't manifest and I was left disappointed.

I think this is a pretty common occurrence in the community and I know I've gotten hundreds of asks with people in this exact position. This ask that I answered covers this more in depth but I want to introduce a topic that isn't being pushed as much as it should: NATURALNESS.

"The time it takes your assumption to become fact, your desire to be fulfilled, is directly proportionate to the naturalness of your feeling of already being what you want to be – of already having what you desire."

-Neville Goddard

So basically, this is what I think the law should be represented as: An assumption, though false, if persisted in within your imagination until it feels natural, will harden into fact.

There are many ways that you attain this naturalness. Most people use imagination, just imaging themselves with their desire, really connecting to the feeling of having their desire so that it feels natural to them. This is when your desire turns into an assumption.

There are many methods within this; visualizing being the most popular one. Just visualizing normally or SATS allows people to experience their desire in imagination, making it more natural to them. Some people can't really visualize so they rely on scripting, pinterest boards, etc. The options are endless but the end goal is the same: making your desire feel natural so that it manifests into your reality.

Some people say you have to keep repeating your method for something to feel natural to you but I disagree. Just going to imagination once, truly feeling it and knowing its yours and knowing the law and that your manifestation has no choice but to appear is all you need to make something feel natural to you. I think the main reason that it takes some people repetitions is because they don't have a strong faith in the law backing them up so it doesn't feel natural to them but if you know the law is backing you up, your desire will natural to you instantly.

Now, if you noticed, I said most people use imagination. What about other people? Well, once you've experienced a few manifestations and really strengthened your belief in the law and acknowledged your power as the creator of your reality, you don't really need to imagine. You just know your desire will come. It's natural for you to manifest anything you want so anything you want will manifest. This kind of goes into what I was saying in the previous paragraph about knowing the law is backing you up. This is why states was and is so popular, it's knowing the law is backing you up and just occupying the state of whatever you desire and knowing it has no choice but to manifest. I love this post by @lotusmi explaining it and I highly recommend reading it.

Now, how to use all this to enter the void. There are 4 things you need to understand, embody, and assume.

1. You are limitless: Literally. You can manifest anything and everything. Seriously.

2. The void is real: One of the main things I've tried to do on my blog is getting everyone to a point where you might not fully believe in the void until you acctually use it yourself but you should know its real. In my Doubts post, I linked so much material across different platforms and groups of people and all of them are talking about the void. Recently, in my challenges, I introduced a book where the author talks about the void and how that's where your reality is created from. I even had a follower recently make a post about how they found their Reiki book talking about the void and how it creates your reality. There's endless examples and at one point, you have to sit down and wonder how all these different platforms and groups of people are all talking about the void if it's just a lie. It can't be a lie if so many people have come to the same conclusion.

3. You are going to wake up in the void state tonight: You understand manifestation now right? All you have to do is know you are going to wake up in the void, make it natural to you and that's it. I promise when you realize that the word operates on your beliefs and that your imagination is honestly what matters because your reality is just a platform for your imagination to project onto (your imagination creates your reality), your manifestations are going to be so quick.

4. Naturalness is all you need: All you're doing when you're manifesting anything, in this case; the void is making it natural to you. Once you do, it has no choice but to manifest in your reality. This really ties into the third point, but I want you to understand this because once you realize the third and fourth point, the law will be so easy to you. If you haven't entered the void yet, the only problem is that it was not natural to you. As a void blogger, I know this is a case because I've gotten so many asks about this and everytime I can tell that they struggle with seeing themselves actually enter the void. It's unnatural to them. But recognizing that naturalness is the problem is also the solution. Just make it natural to you. Know that you are going to wake up in the void tonight and really rest easy in this. You know you are limitless, you can manifest anything, waking up in the void is a peace of cake.

So here's what you're going to:

Starting this moment, know you are going to wake up in the void tonight. Just know it. Now, go straight to your imagination and do whatever method will help your desire natural to you. Know that your reality is just a projection of your imagination and that you are the creator of your reality. Deal with your 3d but know that your 4d is what triumphs.

If you don't wake up in the void, don't spiral. Your desire just doesn't feel natural yet, that's all. Just focus on making your desire natural to you. That is literally all you have to do and you know you're going to enter. If you're someone who might need some time to make your desire feel natural to you just because you struggle with staying firm in the law, do @littlemissprettyprincess 's void challenge: linked here.

The void is easy, you are going to wake up in the void tonight, and you are going to live your dream life. I know you are. Literally embody that and tell yourself that. Anytime a doubt or negative thought comes to mind, just stay firm in your desire and know the law is backing you up. Waking up in the void state is so natural to you and I can't wait for your success story.

[trancylovecraft]

Hello Girlie! I saw that your requests are open (even with the hiatus, take care of yourself:3) so, I wanted to know if it's okay if I make my own? From Yandere Lucifer Morningstar's general headcanons(from Hazbin Hotel), perhaps the reader could take Eve's place, being the "first sinner" or/and converted demon like Lilith.

If you're already maxed out with Requests, that's fine! I will order in another time, take all the time you need❤️You can ignore this if that's the case

(HAZBIN) YANDERE! LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR x EVE! READER: Headcannons

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BARISTA'S NOTE: HEYYYY GIRLIE!!! THANKS SO MUCH!! i love that u requested him cause he's one of my favourites (i had a lot of fun with this req, LOVE THE CONCEPT) and would be if it wasn't for Carmilla :]. FANDOM: Hazbin Hotel

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

Lucifer Morningstar! King of Hell, King of Pride and one goofy motherfucker!

Also a dangerous yandere to have.

I headcannon Lucifer as a Desperate, Possessive, Protective and Worshiping yandere.

Desperate in the way that Lucifer is just so lonely. Even when he did have something with Lilith in the beginning (They never got married in this scenario), It never felt connected. Even as the ugly duckling amongst the angels, He loves you because maybe.. Just maybe, You think like him, Maybe you love him. And he NEEDS you to love him too.

Possessive in the way that this ties into his Desperation, So enamoured and focused on getting you to love him that he's bitter towards anyone who you even glance at. You're his, Lucifer gets antsy if you even look another persons way (God forbid, Adams.). You should look at him, Listen to him and his ideas.

Protective in the way that he's terrified of losing you. You're still only mortal, And if you die then you'll fall into hell (If not, Heaven) and even Lucifer knows that's no place for you to be! You're too good for a place like that, He needs to make sure you'll be fine with him down there.. Especially with all the sinners running about.

And finally, Worshiping in the way that he just adores you. I mean, Come on. You're gorgeous, Intelligent, Curious, Brave and everything else he could ever want! How could he not worship you so?

So to establish you as an Eve! Reader, We're gonna go off my interpretation of Eve since we haven't seen her in the show yet.

You are you, Created from Adams left rib while the actual Eve was created from Adam's right.

God made both you and Eve to give Adam a choice of wife, Whichever one he chose would stand at his side for all of eternity. However the one that he didn't choose..

Well, You weren't quite sure what would happen to them, But you knew that you didn't want it to be you.

Eve was made beautiful, She was made pure and orderly. In other words, Eve was subserviant. Though you loved her like a sister, She was very much unlike you..

You on the other hand was made intelligent, Curious of the natural world and adventurous to the last letter. You craved knowledge, You craved to experiment.

In other words you were messy, Subserviant not to man but to your carnal desire to learn. But both you and your sister knew very well of what happened to Adam's first wife, So you knew that you had to go along with it all.

Lucifer came across you one day when he gazed upon the garden of Eden. He was startstruck when he saw you bathe within one of Eden's many springs, Washing your body on your lonesome while humming some original symphonic tune.

Lucifer was lured to you by your song, Him being an avid musician was not immune to your call. But he was even more entranced once he saw you in person, Your body only a silhouette in the fireflies that danced around you.

Of course by now he had been banished, So he watched you in the form of a snake in a tree.

Lucifer thought you were stunning at first sight, Watching as you bathed yourself in springwater and sing your siren's song. And he felt awkward, Nervous to approach you especially after his banishment.

So that's all he did, He just watched.

But that changed once you turned you caught eye of him too, Pausing your bath once you saw the pretty white snake hanging from the tree just a bit away from your spring.

Sure, Eden has a lot of animals, Snakes included but you've never seen one with such gorgeous white scales like this one. So you're curious, Beginning to churn your way through the waist-deep waters towards him.

Lucifer instantly starts panicking, You're actually approaching him?! As much as he does want to talk to you, He certainly hasn't gained the courage yet!

You make your way over and finally reach him with a small smile on your face, Reaching your arms out you bring the snake into your hands with suprising ease. You look at it closely, Smiling.

"Hello there.. How'd you get all the way out here?"

Lucifer near melts in your hands once he hears your spoken voice, Just as angelic as your singing. He can barely do anything in your hold, A warm, Passionate feeling starting to burst inside of him

"..I- Erm-"

You squeak, Dropping the snake onto the ground like you had touched hot coals. You weave back in the water, Staring dead at the coiling snake. It had spoken, Human language.

You ask who he was, Shocked once Lucifer speaks up and stammers while telling you that he was an Angel. He apologises profusely, Saying sorry for intruding on your bath.

You calm down once you find out he's an Angel, One of the good guys, Right? You hadn't met many angels, And its not like you had any experience of deception anyways.

Besides, His mannerisms were rather charming despite how awkward they sounded. You giggled as you apologised for dropping him, Reaching down to pick him up once more.

Lucifer and you talked for the entire night, Too enraptured in conversation for either of you to sleep.

He talked about the stars, The seas and the sands. How he himself had saw their creation and marveled at their beauty. You listened intently, Soaking it all in while your eyes gleamed at him like the stars under the night sky. Lucifer took pride, His stammers getting less frequent as he went on.

He also spoke of his ideas, His plans for the future and his vision for humanity. And you actually listened, You agreed, You suggested and spoke of your own ideas and he agreed in full. Wide eyed, Almost as if you read his mind.

And in that moment, You were just.. Perfect.

He had to leave once your sister came looking for you, Not wanting to be seen by her. Unfortunately he hadn't told you his name, But he supposed it was better like that so it wouldn't be known that he, Lucifer had been meddling in human affairs once more.

But he came back, He had to, You gave him such a good feeling. It was like you knew him, Like you agreed with him and accepted him as he was.

He couldn't give that up, No, He needed to come back.

And he did, For the next few weeks he returned to you at night when you were alone. In the form of a snake, One easily able to hide his presence. He spoke to you, Always excitedly hurrying once he had a new idea or invention he wanted to show you.

And you listened, You always did. He listened too, Once you told him of your situation with Adam. You lamented how much you just wanted to explore, To not be tied down by the weight of a husband.

Lucifer sympathised with you once you told him you had no choice, That Adam needed to marry you or you'd be tossed away like leftovers.

Lucifer started to bring you artefacts, Things you asked for and ones you wanted to study. Lucifer always stammered once you kissed the top of his head, If he was in his humanoid form he would be red from head to toe, Something he was glad you could not see.

He took you around the garden, Showing you the highs and the lows of this place. He showed you the rivers and the fields, The mountains and the valleys. Everywhere you could possibly go, Including the border of the gardens.

You thought he was funny, His jokes always brought a hearty laugh out of you. Lucifer always made an effort to tell more in your presence.

Lucifer wishes he was in his humanoid form so he could play his violin for you. Your voice is so beautiful and you sing to him every night, He wishes he could do the same for you.

You affectionately refer to him as simply just "My Angel" since you have a personal belief that he was sent to guide you. Lucifer doesn't correct you despite your beliefs, It gets him more praise that he desperately craves anyways.

Whenever you were away however, He still kept a close eye on you. Especially when you were around that sleaze of a man, Adam. Lucifer didn't like Adam, Especially after he had met you.

He watched as Adam was free to put an arm around your shoulders, Eve having the other. The way Adam boasted about himself, How he kept loudly asking which one of you should be his wife.

You didn't like Adam, But you needed to be wed so you weren't thrown away. So you kept tossing your hair like Eve always did, Laughed at his stupid jokes and leaned just a bit closer into him.

And it made Lucifer furious.

It boiled up in him like a stewing pot. Couldn't he see that he was making you uncomfortable? Couldn't he see that he wasn't good enough for you? Lucifer doesn't blame you, But hell, Does he wish you looked his way.

He wanted to save you from this, Get you away from Adam so that he can have you all to himself you can be happy! That glint in your eyes is gone, He needs you to get it back.

But Lucifer can't do anything. With the close eyes of the angels above watching them, There's no way he could do anything too drastic. As much as he wants to help, As much as he wants to snap Adams neck with his own bare hands. There's not much he can do..

But Lucifer is sure that once Adam chooses Eve, He'll be there to pick you up and sweep you down into hell where he can finally show his true form to you entirely.

He's sure of it.

But one day he had gotten distracted, You were with Adam so he hadn't been present at the time. But when he went to look back, Watch over you like he usually does.. He stops.

Eve is sobbing on her knees, Full on wails as Adam tenderly holds your hands. Lucifer realises what had happened by the look of uncertainty on your face, The way you looked at Eve with sympathy and fear.

Adam had chosen you.

Lucifer is shocked, He's pulling out clumps pf hair and slinging curses. Its unlike him, He sounded like a wild animal. He was so sure that Adam, As shallow as he was, Would choose the blonde beauty of Eve.

But he had chosen you, Not being as shallow as he had thought. Adam tells all the angels that he has officially chosen you, That you would be his wife. His chosen to be wed.

Lucifer can barely hold back anymore as he starts breaking down in an anguished rage. How could this happen? Aren't you gonna object to this? What about him, Did your time with him mean nothing?

But you just nodded slowly, Agreeing to be his wife.

It takes Lilith to calm him down, Rushing to his side as he starts hyperventilating, Trying not to break anything more. She speaks to him, Tells him of another way he can get you back.

And its a good idea.

You're wandering in the garden once more, Searching for your sister after she ran off sobbing. She'd be tossed out of the garden, You don't want that, You love her so you need to find her to see if there's a solution for everybody.

But you find your way to a deeper part of the garden, Where you were forbidden to go. You didn't even realise until you reached a clearing, Finally spotting the massive tree in the middle, Higher than all the rest with beautifully ripe fruit hanging from them.

You realise your mistake, You go to turn around but before you do you hear the voice of your friend, The angel.

You spot Lucifer coming down from the branches, Beckoning you over with that same excited voice, The one that you trusted with your life. And despite all of your instincts yelling no, You go towards him.

He greets you as cheery as ever, Slithering down from the branches yet he still kept a good distance. You tell him that you didn't mean to wander this far into forbidden land, Thinking that he was The Angel sent to bring you back.

Lucifer just shrugs it off though, Telling you that it's no big deal. You raise a brow before he beckons you forward, Congratulating you on your marriage to Adam that went by quicker than it should have.

You thank him nervously but tell him you have to go, But before you can leave he calls you back, Informing you that he came here to give you an engagement present. Something of his own making, Something he had worked really hard on..

You still trust him but the twisting feeling in your stomach gets worse once he presents to you a ruby red apple from behind the tree. Your eyes light up at it however, It was the most gorgeous apple you had ever seen. No blemishes or freckle out of place.

It was mesmerizing like a hypnotists watch, Your eyes kept on the carmine shine. You didn't even notice the gleeful giggling coming from Lucifer, Like a little girl on her birthday about to open her first present.

You took the apple into your hands once offered and despite all your better judgement, You placed it upon your lips before taking a bite into its skin. You chew, It's sweet, So sweet. It was the most sugary taste your tongue had held, Yet the pungency of the sour aftertaste came like a storm surge.

You snap out of it, Watching as the ruby red apple in your hand starts to rot away in record time. Mould and maggots already starting to fester, You scream and drop it to the ground, But by the time it hits it had already withered to the core.

You feel weird, You feel horrid. Suddenly you become aware of your naked form, Instantly rushing to cover your parts you start to yell at Lucifer, Begging him to tell you what you had done, What that apple really was. What spell had he put you under to take a bite of that thing? How stupid you were-!

But you snap your head up and the snake was no more, Instead a man with ivory skin and rosy cheeks. Platinum blonde hair slicked back with the most giddy grin you had ever seen on anyone before. Your eyes widen, And suddenly the knowledge of who you've been talking to hits you like a freight train.

He tries to talk to you but he can't get a word in. You scream, You cry, You wail. Accusing him with his own name, Lucifer. You start to hyperventilate, Backing away with him with a horrid stomach ache while storms brew in the sky above.

Lucifer tells you that its okay! He's found a way for you to get out of your marriage, He just tells you to listen to him and that it will be okay!

But you don't, A sudden chill runs through Eden and you know in your core that its not just you who has felt the consequences of your actions. Storms brew, Critters around you start to get violent. You yell and scream once he comes close, Trying to bring you into embrace.

Lucifer is taken aback, This isn't how he imagined it. You were suppose to listen to him, Like you always did. But instead you just kept wailing and wailing calling him a monster, The devil that he was.

You're suppose to listen to him, Him. To his ideas, To his words, To anything that he says. So why aren't you lending him an ear now?! He just doesn't get it.

Wings sprout from his back, An arm lunges around your waist and constricts around you like the snake that he was. You can't struggle in his hold, His power too strong as he raises you both into the air with the flap of his wings.

The storms are high, Dark clouds above and winds so whipping it could cause lacerations. Lucifer tells you that you're coming down with him now, That you will be siphoned away to hell with him forever.

Lucifer thinks your just overreacting, And hey! He's been there too and its not like he's actually angry at you, No, Just at the people around you. He knows you'll understand why he's doing this, That's why he tells you what he had done to your sister.

You go deathly silent once he tells you he's got Eve as collateral, When he explains with that same awkward yet now manic demeanour that you were so use to before. He says that he won't hesitate to take her out if that's what it'll take for you to listen, All while smiling like this is an everyday affair.

You and your sister had always had a rocky relationship, Especially since you were put in competition with each other from day one. But you loved her and she loved you, You cared for each other when you could despite your frequent quarrels.

So you had no choice but to agree, A smile lights up on Lucifer's face as he places a chaste yet stomach churning kiss upon your lips. It's nasty, Disgusting. You're still sobbing profusely as your altitude drops, Your climate becoming much hotter and humid.

You feel your body contorting, Mutilating itself. Breaking down and building back up into a wretched caricature of your former self. Horns, Talons, Features of creatures you hadn't even seen before coming upon you.

You scream through the pain, But Lucifer keeps a hand firmly placed on the back of your head. Cold comfort in your new inferno as he tells you how excited he is to finally have you with him full time.

You barely listen, Your body was not yours anymore, It didn't look as such. So how could you listen to his giddy ramblings? The ones you so loved to listen to before..

You shut the eyes your new body had melded, Falling into the darkness of your mind.

Desperately hoping that this was all a dream while the devil caressed your cheek.

[sparklingself]

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅

I never barred myself. (Neville)

Your imagination is truly a gift. Everything is possible in your mind. Your mind is the vessel that holds everything, every seed to every physical action, every experience, memory - it is your whole world. Consciousness is everything. Nothing outside of your consciousness cannot exist to you.

Intrusive thoughts

You have many thoughts throughout the day. You may have thoughts you may call intrusive. These are unwelcome thoughts to you. Maybe you're trying to persist with diligence and then you get these unwelcome thoughts. You might try to force them down, to aggressively shut the door to them. But then you see that this manner of trying to be rid of them with all your might isn't the most effective. The trick is to guide them to the right direction, instead of forcing them.

Your mind is your home. You should feel safe. There are no intruders, there are no others, there is only self.

So, whenever you get an unwanted thought that doesn't align with the physical reality you want to achieve through your mind, all you need to do is remind yourself. Say, I want to affirm the reality of being rich. I've been persisting for a few days, but then I look into my wallet and see emptiness. I instantly get the thought and feeling of "who am I tricking, I have no money, I'm poor". Now, you have three options: a) cling to that feeling, b) bottle that feeling, but let it accumulate back when you don't have the energy to force it down anymore or c) remind yourself that the 3D is only a mirror, only an illusion, and isn't objective reality. The true reality is what is within. Once you remember that you can go back to feeling affluent. You're not being delusional, everything is a feeling anyway. You can acknowledge physically having an empty wallet, but you know that what matters is how you feel as opposed to what you see.

What you're doing is letting yourself have that thought, but just not holding on to it by actively reminding yourself of your imagination being the almighty, as opposed to the physical which is just a mirror. This avoids that feeling coming up again, or at least makes it a more rare occasion.

2. Bottling desires

I also want to talk about desiring. I'm sure you've found yourself in the situation of desiring things you "shouldn't" desire. For example, maybe you've lusted over people you shouldn't lust over, or food you shouldn't eat, or whatever. You've had a desire and then you get the feeling of it being forbidden.

Desires should never be bottled. That's what's called sin in the Bible. Not letting yourself have your desires. However, I think there are instances where your desires should be evaluated. For example, an SP that is unavailable. It's not that you can't erase them them being unavailable, it's just that you should ask yourself why you want that person. Maybe they reflect a subconscious need unmet in yourself and it's not the person you want, but something else.

Another different example would be sexual paraphilias that harm you or other people. I hold the belief that if you desire to hurt someone you're not actually happy. And hurting someone wouldn't make you happier. That's where you also have to evaluate what you actually want.

The Bible speaks of "godly" desires and "ungodly" desires. I would interpret godly as something you truly, really want. A desire you know is pure and coming from the deepest crevices of your heart. And ungodly would be a desire that is not actually align with you. You are mistaken with what you actually want. The ungodly desire reflects the godly desire and you must find it within.

[autistichalsin]

I know a lot of people find it boring how much Halsin talks about nature, and I do get it- it is repetitive. However, I also find that if you break some of his statements down into what he's implying, you end up with something a lot more interesting. (ESPECIALLY because a lot of these support the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation.)

Take, for example, Halsin talking about his place in the world, specifically relating to relationships:

Halsin: I still have hot blood in my veins. Nature gifted us our desires, and the means to act on them. But we muddied its beautiful simplicity with rules, social strictures... clothes. So, I am not bound to nature. I am unbound in nature.

Halsin: Relationship? Such terms belong to civilisation - a little unfamiliar to my lips. You know what we share is more fluid, more founded in the principles of nature.

Implications: Halsin finds society too complicated. He enjoys nature because its rules are simpler and more sensical; rather than social rules and structures that are beyond him (especially when you take into account the autistic Halsin interpretation), he feels comforted by nature, which is complex in a way that he understands.

There's also Halsin's friendship with Thaniel.

Halsin: I had a friend when I was young, long ago. He played with me in the forests where I grew up... but eventually, I realised no one else had heard of him. It was Thaniel, of course. Nature was my very first friend. I get older, but he hasn't changed a day. I knew then that I had to be more than a companion to him. I had to be a protector.

Implications: Nature, by being Halsin's first friend, has always been what Halsin is comforted by. It has been a steady and comforting presence for him, something he can rely in, in contrast to other people who are unpredictable. Nature is consistent and comforting for him.

Halsin, infamously, is not happy in the city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: Too much noise, too many lanterns kept burning... nature's rhythm is ignored here.

Implications: Halsin is overstimulated easily by excessive noise and other sensory inputs. Nature provides him somewhere quiet.

Halsin: I wish... I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found.

Implications: Again, Halsin sees nature- not just Thaniel, but all of nature- as a friend. A source of comfort and companionship.

Halsin: I think on [politics and high art] also. But nothing matches the splendour of an ancient tree.

Implications: Halsin loves the beauty of the natural world as much as anything else. Rather than art or music (which he can appreciate), what he prefers is something that grew rather than being made.

Halsin: I am... less anxious to find myself in a city. So removed from nature's power - I do not know how I will fare.

Implications: Not only does Halsin prefer not to be in the city, but he is actually, to some extent, frightened of it (likely due to how overstimulating it is for him), in contrast with his feeling of being right at home in nature.

There's other things to note as well. If a Dark Urge player embraces Bhaal and then tells Halsin to bow, Halsin has this to say:

Halsin: Nature bows to none. It will fight on and survive, no matter what madness your god has inspired you to undertake.

Implications: Halsin views nature as strength, and admires that very much. He draws a lot of his tougher qualities from this aspect of the natural world.

Or a line where Wyll gently points out that he talks about nature a lot:

Halsin: When you care about something deeply enough, it consumes every thought and word.

Implications: Halsin isn't thinking of little else besides nature because he's "boring"; it's because it's important to him. (A special interest, one might say.) And when something is deeply important to a person, they think of everything else in relation to that thing; think of a sports fan who constantly uses sports metaphors to understand the world around them.

There's another party banter with Wyll that is telling when combined with what he has to say about the city, too.

Halsin: It is most unfair to pour such scorn on rats - they have their place in nature, same as you or I. 

Halsin: I thought cities were supposed to welcome folk of all walks of life. Clearly I was mistaken.

Implications: Halsin feels everyone has a place in the natural world, yet that the city shuns those it deems different. As someone who has struggled greatly with fitting in/finding a place he "belongs", Halsin feels more sympathetic to nature, where all living things belong, than anywhere else.

I think that when you break up Halsin's love of nature into all the little things it implies, it paints a much more interesting picture of him, personally. It also supports the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation, which makes him even MORE interesting.

[nori-the-cat]

eunseok as a bf n his type <333

I'll do one for his type separately. But here is your Eunseok as a bf request (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Remember, this is just my interpretation based on the tarot spread. All of this are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. Take it with a grain of salt.

Cards: the hermit, six of wands, knight of cups, the chariot, three of swords, seven of pentacles, nine of wands, queen of swords, the world, king of wands, and ace of cups.

Honestly, girl. I also wonder what Eunseok is like as a boyfriend. So why not find out together?

Let's see how Eunseok would flirt during the getting to know phase.

Eunseok's flirting is likely a calculated charm (The Chariot). He might be patient and put in the effort (Seven of Pentacles) to get to know you, taking you on thoughtful dates or learning about your interests.

Imagine a picnic date with Eunseok. He would've meticulously planned it (The Chariot) - a scenic spot, a delicious homemade meal (Seven of Pentacles), with thoughtful conversation.

As a boyfriend:

Eunseok might seem like a homebody at first. We all know he's an introvert who enjoys his own space – his members can attest to that, and they even mention a personal refrigerator in his room!

But here's the surprising thing: Eunseok might be quiet, but he has a hidden romantic side. In relationships, he might crave some alone time (like the Hermit in tarot), but when he's with his special someone, he becomes a true Knight of Cups – a romantic idealist.

Expect Eunseok to put in effort. He might bring flowers, cook your favorite meal, or prepare a thoughtful playlist. While not overly expressive verbally, his actions will show his care (Knight of Cups).

Imagine Eunseok as a big, quiet teddy bear. He cherishes quality time and loves creating a special atmosphere for his girlfriend (you). When he's around his partner (you), he transforms – becoming more affectionate and sentimental. This is because spending uninterrupted time together is important to him, as it allows him to build a strong connection.

Eunseok becoming more affectionate when around his partner (you) could suggests he appreciates physical touch as a love language. Cuddling on the couch or holding hands during a walk could be great additions when going on dates.

I do think this man's love language is quality time and physical touch. I'll explain why.

In a relationship, expect Eunseok to put effort into creating a special and loving atmosphere for the two of you to enjoy. This reflects his desire for a successful relationship (Six of Wands) and ambition for your shared future (The Chariot).

This desire to create something special stems from his deep wish for a successful relationship (Six of Wands). He doesn't just want to float along; he wants to build something strong and lasting, a relationship that thrives. Think of it like a magnificent chariot ride (The Chariot) – he sees you by his side, and together you're conquering the journey of love.

This man is secretly a romantic. He just doesn't show it. *rolling my eyes*

He's also patient and persistent (Seven of Pentacles) when it comes to nurturing the relationship. He might be fiercely protective (Nine of Wands) and stand up for you or the relationship if needed.

This side of Eunseok sounds like a real ride-or-die kind of boyfriend. He's patient and puts a lot of effort into making things work, which is pretty awesome. Plus, he's got your back no matter what! If anyone ever messes with you, you know Eunseok will be there to stand up for you. Now that's a keeper!

However, like everyone else, Eunseok also has his red and green flags. This man is complicated. He is a passionate and romantic man with some pitfalls.

Red Flag:

Well, not some. But a few that are alarming yet tolerable. I pulled 3 more cards to see his "red flags". The reason is that the chariot card in this reading stands out to me. When I shuffled to see his "red flags", the chariot card came out again.

It turns out this guy doesn't communicate. But you, as his partner, have to do the communicating.

The rest of the cards that I pulled were the devil, three of swords, and seven of cups. I pulled the devil's card first and then the chariot. In a relationship, codependency might be a problem.

The Chariot's can also manifest as being overly domineering or inflexible. The Devil can also represent a lack of control, and the Chariot indicates a chance for him to take charge and make positive changes. This could be related to asserting himself within the relationship or addressing any imbalances.

Did I say communication is a problem? Clocked it.

The order of the cards that I pulled: the devil, the chariot, three of swords, and seven of cups. In the context of relationships, it could represent codependency, control issues, or a lack of boundaries (the devil). In a positive light, it suggests overcoming challenges and achieving your goals together (the chariot).

Imagine an argument with Eunseok. You both don't see eye to eye. There's power struggle too. By the end of the argument no one wants to apologise.

With the three of wands, this indicate betrayal, arguments, or a feeling of being emotionally hurt. At times Eunseok could withdraw when things are tough or emotionally draining. As his partner, you would start to question whether he is serious with you or not.

In the case of an argument, you, as his partner would experience confusion about commitment or a tendency to idealize him or sees him using a rose coloured lens (seven of cups). This is because Eunseok himself idealised what a romantic relationship looks like. When friction happens in the relationship, he would withdraw.

womp womp...

Here's a scenario: The Devil followed by the Chariot suggests Eunseok might be battling some negative influences or habits (Devil) but is determined to overcome them and steer the relationship in a healthier direction (Chariot). However, the Three of Swords following could indicate there's been some emotional hurt or conflict in the past that needs to be addressed.

What could this mean? Well, Eunseok is someone who would fix a problem or issue at hand. But once it gets emotionally overwhelming and worse, draining. He would withdraw. He would bring with him all the negative things and yet toss them aside as it is "not important" to him. But what's the problem here? the problem is that one day it will burst. Yeah, it will burst. Not like a balloon. But a grenade.

It's not pretty.

The Devil and Seven of Cups together could suggest Eunseok would struggle with temptations or bad habits (Devil) while also being unsure of what he truly wants (Seven of Cups). This might lead to confusion and potential for future conflict (Three of Swords).

Yeah, basically everything I already pointed out.

Green Flags:

I pulled 4 more cards for this section of the reading. The cards were the lovers, four of wands, knight of cups, and ten of swords.

These cards suggest Eunseok could be a great boyfriend material. He seems to value commitment, romance, and stability. However, the Knight of Cups and Ten of Swords hint at some potential emotional baggage or indecisiveness.

Despite his inability to confront things, acknowledge his emotions, and withdrawing when things gets tough. Eunseok is a mature guy who will make you laugh. With him as your boyfriend, you will feel taken care of, protected, and he is pretty stable.

*whispers* He is also secretly a romantic guy.

Date ideas with or for Eunseok:

A cozy cafe or a picnic in a scenic spot (park, beach) would be ideal. It should be a place where you can converse comfortably without distractions.

Focus on activities that allow for conversation and shared experiences. This could be anything from playing a board game, taking a walk, or simply enjoying a meal together.

Expect him to put in the effort. He might bring flowers, prepare a picnic basket, or choose a cafe known for its ambiance.

Overall, Eunseok seems like a supportive, thoughtful, and passionate boyfriend who puts effort into making the relationship special.

At least, he would try.

My opinion: When I did this reading, the chariot and knight of cups stands out the most for me. Imo, Eunseok would take control of the relationship by controlling his emotions. As his partner, you need to pay attention to his actions and how it shows up in the relationship.

Channelled songs:

These are the songs that reminds me of him.

[amerricanartwork]

Quetzalli on Trafficlights and Birds

Well @toxictoxicities, it has been done! You gave me the chance for me to give my own interpretation on this matter, and I can’t resist chances to add some narrative significance! I decided to make a separate post on it because what I came up with ended up being long (as always with me), and in case anyone else would enjoy these thoughts.

However before I go in with this essay I've put together I have to give a very important note: These thoughts are gonna be primarily based around my personal interpretations and headcanons for Seven Red Suns and No Significant Harassment. I’m generally a person who needs to know exactly what I’m working with to do something well, and as such my ideas about metaphors, symbolism, and greater narrative significance typically depend a lot on me understanding the characters and ship not just in their general dynamic, but various other deeper elements — what their core desires/fears are, what their backstories/histories are, each of their main character traits and why they are that way, then from there what they see in each other and why their relationship benefits each other in-universe, and what other effect(s) the relationship has or could have on the characters in-universe as well as the greater narrative out-of-universe, with the additional optional knowledge of what the main plot of the story they come from is to possibly tie in important moments. Seeing as you probably aren’t going to explain your Trafficlights interpretation completely to this intense of a degree anytime soon (though I’d absolutely enjoy hearing it whenever it comes!), if I’m going to make some metaphors I think the best option is to just use my current character interpretations so I have this background familiarity, especially since I’ve actually been developing these things a whole lot for my own iterator off-the-string happy ending AU!

Also, I want to say to that if some of these idea sound familiar, it’s because I realized I can actually project some of my previous Lilypad ideas onto this Trafficlights portrayal as well. I feel my Suns and Moon are similar enough in their personality traits that many of the same dynamics and significance could reasonably apply. In fact Tox, I’m gonna admit I actually did take some inspiration for my Lilypad portrayal from seeing your particular Trafficlights and drawing my own conclusions about how that dynamic worked, and overall my depiction of Seven Red Suns is largely inspired by your own take on that character, which I found quite unique compared to the rest of the fandom for being the first one I saw to show Suns as being far less imposing and confident internally than they seem in public. So I guess I am once again coming full circle now!

I think this is already more than enough words, but I just felt the need to give those prefaces as context for all of these ideas. With that being said, I hope you like at least some of these!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Option 1: Birds as Freedom

From what I’ve read, a common symbolism for birds is freedom, which to me is easy to see because of their signature flight ability. Flight can be considered the mode of travel with the greatest freedom because it’s not restricted by landmasses (or even planets, if you include space travel), and because flying is literally defying, or “freeing oneself” from gravity, one can easily associate it with weightlessness and thus being carefree and without worries or negativity.

With any off-the-string iterator story, it’s easy to give going off-the-string a positive significance because it’s literally the puppet “freeing itself” from the limited confines of their chamber, and by extent the limits imposed upon them by the Ancients. This is further supported by how some iterators in canon do appear to perceive their cans as a limitation or cage, as evidenced by the broadcast dialogue. In fact, I've heard No Significant Harassment is one of these very iterators, so I imagine he’d absolutely want to go off-the-string so long as he has a good incentive to. 

To relate this back to birds, you could very much use a caged songbird as a metaphor for the iterators; beautiful, brightly-colored creatures “raised” in captivity and trapped in boxes to serve other people, once “singing” out their ideas from within to those people, but now just giving those “songs” to each other. Thus, going off-the-string (perhaps to the Emergence facility in your AU) could be seen as these “birds” finally flying free to be with one another “in the wild”, finally able to fly and live their lives more fully as they were denied for so long. So regardless of any other symbolism, Trafficlights — and any other off-the-string iterator ship by extent — leaving their cans could be seen as them “flying free” together from the restraints forced upon them.

However, I’ve also recently realized another freedom symbolism besides freedom from the Ancients’ restrictions, and that’s freedom from their own. This is something more impactful to my Seven Red Suns, who like Moon, is also someone who hides a lot of his true personality for a more polite, proper, and dignified public persona, shoulders a lot of weight he isn’t always able to handle alone, and puts lots of limits on himself and what he’s “allowed” or “supposed” to do, albeit for entirely different reasons. Now contrast that with Sig, who although he also hides a lot of his true feelings and knows when to dial it down, is someone who is a master at breaking rules and going against convention. In fact, I like to imagine it’s literally in his nature (er, programming) to think outside the box, generating all sorts of different ideas to solve problems that don’t always totally follow outside rules or what’s “typical” for using a certain item. 

When you bring these two together, I imagine Sig could absolutely be the one to encourage Suns to let loose more, letting down his proper and and uptight persona to show more of his emotional side and explore things he didn’t allow himself to before (like I said, this is one of the ideas that works with Trafficlights as well as Lilypad)! It’s as if Suns is a bird too used to living in the cage and afraid to truly fly again, and Sig has to coax him out into embracing that freedom. You could even take this with the idea of iterators not being used to romance, a restriction Suns absolutely puts on himself and even others because he believes a “proper” iterator isn’t supposed to have such deep attachments, of which romantic love could be considered the worst because it’s both breaking Karma 3 of Companionship and can directly lead to Karma 2 of Sexual Intercourse, so it’s essentially a double-risk. But again, Sig is willing to explore these new feelings, and now that they’re off the string and can love each other more physically and directly than ever, what better time could there be for Suns to “spread his wings” and fly alongside him?

Option 2: Birds as Passion/Romance

To me, the second biggest symbolism that birds can have is that of passion and general romantic ideas. Technically all birds could have this association because feathers and wings in general are pretty showy, so spreading one’s wings could just as easily be a gesture of great emotion and expression as it could be preparing to be free. In addition though, whereas the previous point was more related to songbirds, this seems to correlate more with birds of paradise especially, who have the most colorful and varied plumage of the bird kingdom, thus making it easy to say they’re “showing their true colors” without fear. Some birds of paradise, particularly parrots/parakeets/macaws/etc. are very social creatures by nature, so it’s even easier to draw the connection between their vibrant plumage and social behavior with being expressive and outgoing.

As for the romance element, to me it seems birds are commonly used as such symbols already; there’s doves and swans being symbols of love often included in some way at weddings, words like “lovebirds” referring to lovers as well as one of my favorite words, “twitterpated”, which means to be very smitten and infatuated and also has a clear bird-based association and maybe even origin. But then there’s the idea of songbirds singing to each other, which I think is a particularly romantic idea which plays into one of my favorite shipping tropes I call, “answering the call”. So far, I like to describe it as when someone is looking for companionship and romance for a while, either openly or as a subconscious desire, but is eventually found and “answered” by someone willing to love with them. It’s such a romantic idea to me because it often includes so much loneliness and sometimes even tragedy before, making that moment where they finally find someone all the more sweet!

Okay, now to bring this back to Trafficlights. Starting with the first idea, I think it’s easy to associate Sig with these kinds of birds, especially macaws and such, seeing as I imagine he can be just as “colorful” both literally and personality-wise, and cares deeply about his relationships in a similar manner. But even then, like I mentioned before Sig can sometimes feel like he needs to hide those feelings because others don’t fully understand him and he doesn’t want to risk creating tension (although hiding his feelings like that kinda does anyway). 

To resolve this, I’ve decided to use what I imagine Sig would appreciate and value in Suns that would evolve the relationship past friendship to romance, that being that Suns was one of the first people besides Moon who believed that Sig’s ideas and his dedication to his friends could be something more, something better and used for good. My Suns is defined largely by his perfectionism and endless drive to make things the “best” versions of themselves. In my timeline of events he already helped Sig in that way during a pretty important moment, not to mention it’s just really inspiring how much Suns cares about trying to bring about the “best” for everyone. On Sig’s end, this is how they at least developed a friendship, and in this alternative what would cause that appreciation to evolve to romance eventually. In fact, in my headcanon it was the combined efforts of Moon first understanding Sig’s feelings and Suns helping to perfect his role in his group, with both of them working really hard to help him find new belonging with the Local Group, that was what got Sig out of his “rough patch”. Thus, in a way, Suns directly helped Sig make new connections, “spread his wings”, and “find a new flock”, which can easily be the main reason why Sig would fall for Suns.

Now, what about Suns? Relating him to birds and passion also hinges largely on another pretty crucial headcanon about my Seven Red Suns, which is that he is secretly a huge romantic with a passion for the fine arts. In addition to striving for an “ideal” world at all times, he appreciates art and the deeper symbolism within. However, because of what I said earlier about Suns placing a lot of high standards on himself, he doesn’t actually make art of his own, believing it’s “not an iterator’s place” to do such a thing themselves because it’s not in their purpose. But even then, he can’t help himself from seeing things artistically and drawing his own conclusions about things.

That being said, I imagine Suns could have a strong appreciation for birds in particular; their beauty, combined with their flight, makes them seem as though they’ve already “ascended” on some level above other animals. On top of that, I think Suns would come to see Sig as sort of a bird himself! Maybe a big green macaw with the most beautiful plumes who’s also far more intelligent than others think. But even more so, when it comes to what Suns appreciates in Sig that causes him to fall in love, I imagine it’s how Sig is the only person who sees through his facade for who he really is. Everyone else around him seems to either put him on a pedestal, with their own high expectations to follow, or is intimidated by his grandeur into avoiding much direct contact. Again, however, Sig naturally thinks outside the box and challenging people’s ideas, so it’d be pretty easy for him to break down some of Suns’s diplomacy to show that more emotional side (another idea that I use in Lilypad as well). No Significant Harassment is the one person Suns feels like he can be himself around, helping him realize that even those parts of him he hides make him “perfect” by virtue of being his real and unique self. It’s like Suns is a great eagle, looked up to and feared by other birds as a large bird of prey and thus lonely and pressured to soar above all else, and only the surprisingly smart macaw is able to lower his guard, helping him see he’s just as beautiful and inspiring on the ground as he is soaring high in the clouds. 

And then there’s the idea of “answering the call”. I’ve already seen your Trafficlights will probably play out as a slow burn, with Sig and Suns harboring growing feelings for each other for a while but only really acting on it once Emergence kicks in. In this case the dynamic would be mutual, with both of them longing for a deeper connection, but perhaps not realizing it until this timeline. I imagine Sig would be the one more conscious of this desire though, seeing as he openly seeks connection with others, so it’d be as if he’s a lonely songbird wanting to sing out but never getting an answer. And then of course, when Suns finally does respond it’s that much more poetic!

Trafficlights as Rio (spoilers, by the way)

OKAY HEAR ME OUT, I just have to include some words on this because this movie, this freaking movie is not only one of the two that kickstarted my love of birds but is what started this whole Trafficlights-as-birds-symbolism thing for me.

To give some context, if you don’t already know I am someone who not only loves making metaphors and symbolism with my ships, but loves finding associations between them and outside music or stories. I often look for connections to the old Disney animated fairytales, but I really end up doing it to all sorts of animated stories that I believe have pretty universal themes.

That being said, if there’s any association I’d make for Trafficlights as I currently see them, it’s to Blue Sky’s Rio and some of the scenes from that story. Firstly, Blu as a character already somewhat parallels my Suns in that he’s awkward and not the best at interacting with others. Not to mention his inability to fly, which came from him never getting a chance to embrace his emotions before being captured and taken from his home, could be paralleled to Suns’s bottling up his emotions, especially since flight in that film is directly related to feelings of happiness, love, and freedom, so Suns in a way is also “stunted” in his emotions. Meanwhile Sig on the other hand is more like Jewel, someone who at least understands his emotions a lot better and thus “knows how to fly”, and who resists others’ attempts to cage him and tries to get his partner to do the same. Like Blu Suns refuses at first, his logic and desire for a dignified self image getting the best of him being able to let loose in any environment where he isn’t surrounded by close friends. 

Then there’s the freaking “Hot Wings” scene, which takes the most responsibility for this association of mine. Largely because the two side-characters, Nico and Pedro, also seem to carry a dynamic with their lyrics that just reminds me of Suns and Sig, respectively, a lot (honestly I just thought about it on a whim one day and I can’t unsee it now…). Not to mention the entire scene is about pretty birds dancing, which given you’ve also made a decent number of drawings of Trafficlights dancing together, I think is just super fitting. And then Jewel’s singing once again brings back this idea of freedom and showing one’s emotions and love, with the remaining question being whether or not Blu can eventually unlock this feeling inside him despite his fears and fly up with her. This is something I think could work with Trafficlights, at least how I see them, for even if Suns can be more emotional around Sig and maybe his friends, he still has trouble doing so in public, not always liking the pressure of being “perfect” but not wanting to risk looking like a fool around everyone who looks up to him.

It works even better with one of the later scenes in the film when Blu and Jewel finally manage to cut the chain keeping them together, which causes Jewel to immediately lift into the sky with the pure joy and euphoria of once again being free to fly as she pleases. However, Blu is left looking up at her as she flies with their friends, and you can tell he’s both realizing again just how beautiful she is and longing so much to join her in the sky, yet still unable to fly. Once again I can’t help seeing Suns in Blu’s place, looking at Sig having fun and being so carefree, loving the feeling of being off-the-string, and him thinking Sig so beautiful and wanting to join him too. And eventually, just like Blu does in a true “answering the call fashion”, he is able to “spread his wings” and they finally can fly away together!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Okay, I think that’s all I have to say for now on this topic. This essay, excluding the preface at the beginning, is 2498 words! I think that might be a little bit more than my Lilypad essay! I really hope it delivered!

But even then, this was so fun to do! Even though Trafficlights isn’t my main ship and isn’t going to happen in my own AU, I’ve recently been looking to better figure out Sig and Suns’s relationship anyway to understand why they’re at least friends with each other. Of course there are some other factors in their relationship, some of which I’ve edited out for the sake of these ideas because it throws a bit of tension in the dynamic that could compromise its ability to work as a ship, but this was still an important aspect and I’m glad to have gotten a chance to develop it! And then of course, a reason to think about ships as well as shamelessly plug one of my favorite movies ever is also very nice!

This may all sound super silly and maybe none of it works with your Emergence Trafficlights, but regardless this was seriously such a fun opportunity, and I’m glad you gave me a reason to do this! I would love to hear your thoughts on or additions to all this, if you can!

[the-power-of-stuff]

The Live-Action Sukka Manifesto that I Just Couldn't Keep in My Head

So I've been marinating in my live-action Sukka thoughts for the past three days, and when someone sent me an anon asking if I had any thoughts about the changes, at first I went, "DO I EVER?!" and proceeded to dump my entire brain on the page.

But then I worried maybe the anon wouldn't want to see my entire brain and figured I'd make my own post with my Many, Many Thoughts, and reel it in a bit when I answer the ask. And then link here if they're interested in the dissertation.

I'll put all the excessive details and spoilery stuff under a cut, but I'll start by saying, I didn't hate it! And I was afraid that I would.

There were things that I was bummed or had mixed feelings about, but there was also a lot that I genuinely enjoyed. All the Sukka interactions were cute and still had some decent character development, and I had fun with the episode overall (I've watched it thrice mind you, and definitely have not given the rest of the series that kind of attention). And I didn't necessarily dislike the differences from the original; I think I've just taken more of a "that was an interesting interpretation" approach.

But I better start that cut now, because I'm about to go on and on about this. I'd love to know what others think, though!! Even if the opinions aren't the same as mine! Please feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me an ask. If nothing else, I'm excited that the LA has gotten people talking about ATLA again.

So, I want to start with Suki’s characterization, which overall I found to be delightful, even if it was a bit of a watered-down version of her animated self.

In the original show, Suki is confident, sassy, and doesn’t take shit from anybody. She’s proud to the point of almost being arrogant, and even a little mean. What we get in the LA is someone who’s still confident in terms of her status and her skills, and still proud of her heritage and her role in her community, but with significantly less sass. And while LA Suki still seems like someone who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, we don’t actually see LA Suki deal with that much shit from anyone (because Sokka isn’t really giving her any). 

There is one moment in the show where her interaction with Sokka is a little contentious, which is when he tries to relate to her as a fellow guardian of his people. I think Suki’s question to Sokka about how is he protecting his village if he’s not there is meant to be a challenge to his swagger. However, the line is delivered with a softness that makes it seem as though Suki is, at least in part, genuinely curious. (This curiosity makes even more sense when we consider the fact that Suki’s eventually going to leave Kyoshi Island so she and her Warriors can take part in the war effort, and that she will have to contend with the question of “how do you do that without abandoning your people?” when coming to that decision. The LA lays a lot more of this groundwork than the animated show did: Suki outwardly expressing her desire to see the world, her mother’s secretive looks every time Suki gazes longingly at Sokka the possibilities…)

Compare these two moments, for example. These are both scenes where Suki expresses disbelief at Sokka's claims about his warrior-hood. But in the LA, Suki speaks rather quietly and mildly, in contrast to the brash sarcasm of her animated counterpart. LA Suki is also tilting her head down and away, looking at Sokka indirectly. OG Suki is leaning in close, getting in his face, smirking derisively with her hands on her hips.  

I think there’s something to be said about the LA in general smoothing away certain personality traits that could be seen as negatives but that are actually strengths that are so narratively well-developed they occasionally show up as flaws (for instance, Katara’s fury, or lack thereof). Animated Suki is prideful and stubborn; she berates Sokka until he gives her sad puppy-dog eyes and has zero hesitation about making an example of him in front of her whole class. It’s a little ruthless, but these traits are also 1) what gets through Sokka’s thick skull (he, too, is prideful and stubborn), and 2) what makes her such a dedicated ambassador of Kyoshi and such a strong leader of the island’s Warriors at such a young age. I feel like the LA writers were afraid of making any of the protagonists seem too abrasive—everyone in the LA has had their edges sanded down, including Zuko, including Aang—and in general this tends to lead to less realistic representations of humanity and conflict, less satisfying character development arcs, and fewer opportunities for reflection and learning. 

That being said! I went into watching the LA with negative expectations about what we would see in terms of character development, and thus was pleasantly surprised. 

The LA removed the need for Suki to be as ruthlessly stubborn as she is in the animated show because LA Sokka’s skull is not so thick (and I'll get into that a bit more later). So what we get instead is a sheltered Suki with a helicopter mom who is so hilariously awkward that she has no idea how to interact with other humans. And, to be honest, I enjoyed this version of her so much that I even thought to myself, “I wish I’d thought of that!”

Suki is a straight-up weirdo in the LA and I love that for her. The way she puts Sokka in a chokehold and then looks at him after she sets him free like, “That was good flirting, yes? Would you like to be my boyfriend now?” And then her disappointment when Sokka walks away as if she’s thinking, “Why didn’t that go well, I thought boys loved getting put in chokeholds?” She is so precious, I just want to put her in my pocket. And this characterization might even be more broadly relatable than a super-confident Suki brimming with sass. Who among us hasn’t made a complete fool of ourselves in front of a crush by coming on way too strong and having no idea how to flirt? I mean…real. 

And because Sokka is also mostly just making a fool of himself trying to impress a pretty and talented peer (instead of covering up his insecurities by wrapping himself in misogyny) this leaves room for the two of them to be attracted to each other right off the bat and for their interactions to be more overtly romantic throughout the entire episode. Which, avid shipper that I am, I have to admit I have been gobbling up for the past three days straight. This episode was an IV drip of romantic tropes hooked straight to every Sukka shipper’s veins. 

Shy glances from across the room? Check.

Walking in on the other person half-naked? Check. (Y’all, Suki looks Sokka up and down for a FULL TWENTY SECONDS yes I timed it from the moment she appears in the background, yes you should count it to see how long that really is. Talk about awkward.) 

Tripping so they end up falling into each other’s arms? Check.

Wide-eyed shock that turns into surprise thirst after being pinned to the ground? Check.

Shooting each other satisfied smirks as they kick ass side-by-side? Check.

Jumping in front of literal fire for each other? Check and check!

Like, I could live off this for the rest of the year. 

But look, there’s a lot that I love about the way Sokka and Suki’s relationship is portrayed in this episode besides those romantically indulgent tension-creating moments, and it has to do with Suki’s admiration and validation of Sokka. 

Suki really looked at this boy with his mouth stuffed half-full of steamed bun and went, “Must have.”

With the removal of overt sexism from this episode (for better or worse), the story focused much more heavily on Sokka’s development as a leader. He still has that sort of posturing display of self-confidence that comes from inexperience and trying too hard to prove oneself (“Ferociously…deadly tiger whales…”), and while at first Suki seems put off by this and his attempts to liken himself to her (“I’m not just a warrior, I’m a Kyoshi warrior”) it doesn’t take her long to decide (*cough*after seeing him shirtless*cough*) that she doesn’t actually mind this behavior (and in fact maybe she kind of likes it because maybe it means he likes her and maybe it means she can show him how much she likes him by slicing the tops off all those melons with her fan). She seems genuinely interested in his boomerang and impressed that he hunts, and then later, she immediately takes interest in training him in the Kyoshi Warrior style. 

After they spar, she casually refers back to the fact that he’s his village’s protector, and this time, she does it without the disbelief and defensiveness. Because he’s finally stopped posturing. He opened himself up and gave himself over to Suki’s expertise, and in that way he proved that he has the will and desire—the heart—of a warrior. And Suki tells him so while touching him gently and gazing at him longingly in the soft golden glow of the late-afternoon sun. And as a die-hard Sokka stan, I love seeing him loved and appreciated like this. Adamantly. Ardently. The Sokka cheerleader in my head is going wild. “YEESSSS!! Our boy deserves this!!” Because we know that, in the animated show, he goes through a lot more struggle and self-doubt before he receives this kind of external validation. And while we also know that this makes for an incredibly satisfying growth arc, I gotta admit that it’s a fun bit of indulgence to watch Suki talk Sokka up directly to his face and then want to kiss him really bad. Y’know. As a treat.

That said, I'm very attached to and appreciative of the way their relationship is framed in the animated series. I love that their respect and affection for each other grows even after the disaster that is their first few interactions. In the LA, they are drawn to each other immediately, and the only barrier seems to be a bit of awkward stepping-in-it-ness. In the original, they have legitimate conflict, and they both have to give a little—Sokka becomes more humble, Suki becomes more tender—before they get to that point of potential romantic interest. And I think it says a lot about Sokka’s character and his desire to learn and grow that he is willing to humble himself in front of someone who, as far as he’s seen, has very little regard for him (slash has a good deal of animosity towards him). Giving himself over to Suki’s expertise costs him more in the animated show. But once he does, he and Suki learn and grow together. He shows Suki who he really is, shows her how dedicated and determined (and fun and a quick learner) he is, to the point that, by the end of the episode, she can allow herself to be vulnerable with him. And she does validate him in the original Kyoshi Warriors episode, just less directly than the LA. Her kiss on his cheek and “...but I’m a girl, too” is about forgiveness and acceptance and acknowledgement and respect, as much as or even more than it is about affection. There’s a little bit of romance, too, but it’s just little baby seeds of it, and it feels very natural to let those seeds germinate over time until we see Suki again later in the series. 

Which brings me to the live-action kiss. 

I’ll be honest, I was a little on the fence about the kiss. I want Sokka and Suki to kiss as much as possible in every conceivable universe. So there’s a part of me that was banging on the table and whistling with obscene joy. But the other part of me thought it was too much too soon. However, my hesitance pre-supposes some things about the second season (not least of which that there will be one), namely that it will handle the reunion with Suki and crossing the Serpent’s Pass anything like how it was done in the original. (Of course, one thing we now know for certain can't happen in a hypothetical LA season 2 is Suki pranking Sokka at the ferry station because he doesn't recognize her without her makeup. Do I love the expression on LA Sokka's face the first time he sees Suki's? Yes. Am I sad that this completely ruins their whole "You don't remember me? Maybe you'll remember this!" game? Also yes. But truthfully, I don't know if LA Suki would've been up to the prank, anyway. Not sassy enough. ;))

The Serpent’s Pass is one of my favorite episodes of all time, and that moment on the bluffs when Sokka and Suki are talking around Sokka’s loss, with the moon shining down on them all the while, and they almost kiss with the moon hanging between them in the background, and then Sokka pulls away without any other explanation besides, “I can’t”? That scene is so absurdly powerful and beautiful and an amazing moment of character development for them both, and I feel like it loses a lot of impact if they’ve already made out once. The fact that they kiss for the first time after that moonlit moment, when Sokka realizes that Suki doesn’t need protecting the way he thought she did, and in fact she was there to protect him, and he can finally just let go of this burden that he’s been carrying with him since Suki first mentioned she was joining them (slash since his dad put him in charge of an entire village at 13), and then and only then can he open his heart to what he feels for Suki, and in fact opens it so wide that he just cannot help but jam his mouth onto hers before she’s even finished talking…? I mean. C’mon. That’s poetry. But, again…loses impact if they’ve already had a first kiss.

But who knows what, if anything, they’ll actually do with that storyline. So for now, I’ll just enjoy my live-action Sukka kiss because, honestly, dream come true.    

Or almost a dream come true. Because there's a huge camelephant in the room that I haven't addressed yet, isn't there? The lack of Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform...

And I don’t think we can talk about the omission of Sokka’s Kyoshi Warrior uniform without talking about the omission of Sokka’s sexism. Because if Sokka isn’t sexist, then why do you have to put him in the dress and makeup of traditionally female warriors to make a point about how women are strong and capable, too? So here’s what I’ll say about that (and I know there’s a lot that people have said already, so I’ll try not to belabor the point.) I don’t think leaving out Sokka’s sexism was necessarily a detriment to his character arc. I do think, however, that leaving out Sokka’s sexism was a detriment to the message the show was trying to convey about sexism. 

Now, in the Northern Water Tribe episodes, the LA still gives us a message about fighting against the kind of systemic, institutionalized sexism that you might not be surprised to encounter within a very old-fashioned society or from a very old-fashioned gray-haired man. But what about the off-the-cuff, everyday kind of sexism that you might experience from an otherwise good person who is close to you? A person who loves you and would do anything for you but who gets carried away teasing you about “girly” things because of intrinsically-held biases that they’re not even that conscious of having? 

I think it’s important and meaningful for male and female audiences alike, and everyone in between, to see these different forms of sexism and misogyny—to see them, to recognize those behaviors in others and in ourselves, to be able to name them, and to have examples of fighting against them. We see the former kind—institutionalized, systemic—in Pakku. And we did see the latter kind—familiar, personal—in Sokka. And now that’s lost.

Not only that, but there’s the form of sexism that says boys aren’t allowed to do feminine things lest they relinquish their maleness. And in the animated show, we got to see Sokka combating this form of sexism, too. Not only does Suki show him that girls can be fierce warriors as well as boys, but he learns that wearing makeup and a dress does not make him any less of a young man.  

So, yes, I think the lack of Sokka in Kyoshi Warrior garb was a missed opportunity. And not just because Sokka looked really good in uniform and we all should have had the chance to see that, including and especially Suki. 

Alright, this is more than long enough, so I'll leave off with a moment from the LA that gave me great pleasure.

I needed this moment, y'all. And I was so afraid it wouldn't happen. I needed Sokka being protective, I needed him using his newfound Kyoshi Warrior skills to fight, and I needed him jumping in front of fire for the girl who'd taught him. If we couldn't have Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform, at least we had this.

[coraniaid]

In Season 2's Becoming, after being outed as the Slayer to her mother, Buffy delivers a monologue in which she insists she never wanted to be a Slayer ("do you think I choose to be like this? do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous?") and that she wishes she could be doing almost anything else with her life ("God, even studying") but she doesn't have a choice ("I have to save the world, again"). Indeed by the end of the episode that obligation to put her own desires aside and do whatever's necessary to save the world will force her to send the man she loves to hell. Being a Slayer explicitly costs her everything she cares about ("I've got nothing left to lose", as she tells Whistler even before killing Angel).

So, obviously, large sections of the Buffy fandom on here have decided that this means Buffy loves being a Slayer and has fully accepted it as a part of who she is, that she has no rational reason to resent Giles at all, and that she only leaves town at the end of the episode (leaving a note behind for her mother and not telling anybody else) because her mother doesn't accept her and "kicks her out of the house" (an empty threat that Buffy takes so literally she's back in her bedroom packing for LA before the episode ends).

.... I mean, you do see how at odds with the text this reading is, right? However much you want Joyce to be the singular villain here, she's really not.

Buffy: "I never wanted to be a Slayer and in fact being a Slayer has made me miserable and I'm going to run away and change my name and hide from my Watcher so I don't have to be the Slayer anymore"

The fandom, incessantly: "hoho, Joyce blames Giles for Buffy running away, how ridiculous".

(Yes, there is a popular metaphorical reading of the show in which Buffy being "the Slayer" should be understood as Buffy being bi or trans or otherwise queer. And yes, in this reading Joyce's reaction to finding out the truth about her daughter-- already not great! -- becomes particularly terrible.

But that specific metaphorical reading is the not the One True Way of understanding the show. It's not something to which every single thing that happens on screen can be reduced. It's simply one interpretation among many and, in some episodes -- like this one! -- it works less well than it does at other times.

In the actual text of the show, Buffy has just told her mother that she's a reluctant child solider recruited into an impossibly dangerous conflict by a man who Joyce barely knows. A man who has insisted Buffy keep this all secret from her mother and lied to her face about it for months (Giles wouldn't even let Joyce know about vampires after a vampire trying to hurt Buffy attacked her in her own home! He didn't let her know about Angelus!)

Of course Joyce is upset about this! Of course she blames Giles! You know who else often blames Giles for Buffy having to be a Slayer? You know who started this season with a nightmare in which Giles tried to murder Buffy? Buffy herself.)

[tvdufemslash]

It's that time again!

From Wednesday April 24th - Tuesday April 30th we invite you to create anything you want for any sapphic ships across all three shows in the TVDU.

We will reblog gifsets, art, graphics, fic, headcanons, edits, moodboards and anything else you create. Each day will have a prompt to follow, and you can interpret it however you like. You can create as much or as little as you want, pick one pairing for the week or do several! Any sapphic pairing you can think of, we want it!

Use the tag #tvdufemslashweek2024 so we can find your stuff!

The Prompts: Day One (April 24): Knight in Shining Armor - Princess x Knight, coming to their rescue, competing to be the hero, take your pick! Are our girls really heroes or are they putting on a mask to seem like the perfect knight in shining armor? Show us how much they save each other! Day Two (April 25): Anchor - The thing that keeps you stable, steady, or here in this world. Do our witches go to their love to keep them anchored and find out more about their feelings? Do they already know and go to that one person they can depend on? Give us the pining angst and the established support and reassurance. Day Three (April 26): Mythology - Hades & Persephone retellings or making your own mythology around our girls! Write them as your favorite mythological story or create something around the mythology they already have themselves. Day Four (April 27): Fake Dating - You know it, you (may) love it! They must pretend to date for some reason or another and they're totally not going to fall in love for real! Right? Day Five (April 28): Thriller/Horror - Similar to the mythology prompt, put these girls in your favorite horror movie or make your own! This ones for all those Scream AU's or general thriller AU creations you've got in your brain. Day Six (April 29): Jealousy - the good, the bad, the ugly. Is this jealousy something our girls need to talk about? Is it fun or hot? Take this in whatever direction your heart desires! Day Seven (April 30): Free Choice

Get creative, have fun, and share each others creations!!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Sorry if this has been asked before but thoughts on ace and/or aro spec Eddie? Because it is near and dear to my heart. Especially with everything we’ve gotten both on screen and in interviews from Ryan.

I have not gotten this question before!

I would like to preface this by saying that I am not aro/ace so I am speaking in what my understanding of the asexuality spectrum is from my ace friends, so i apologize if I misspeak or say something that is not entirely accurate to the experience of ace/aro people.

Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own interpretations of fictional characters, and I am never going to tell someone they are right or wrong for their interpretation of a character’s actions. However, I personally don’t view Eddie as aromantic, and if I were to place him on the asexuality scale, I would place him more towards demi-sexual than completely asexual. We know Eddie enjoys sex, but he still has a very complicated relationship with it when it comes to the women he has been with, and that could be for a myriad of reasons.

Of course one of these reasons could be that Eddie simply thinks he enjoys sex bc he grew up in a repressive religious environment where he was probably to scared to feel any other way, meaning he could very well be asexual and his seeming enjoyment of sex could be an act he puts on to ignore the part of him that he is repressing.

As a gay eddie truther, I believe this idea partly bc I believe he is trying to convince himself he is into women because that’s what he grew up to be taught that men should be attracted to women. However, I could see this being a pathway for Eddie to be introduced as somewhere on the asexuality spectrum, my personal belief being that he would lie more towards the demi end.

As far as him being aromantic, i personally don’t see this. I think we have seen plenty of times from Eddie that he craves that connection with someone but he actively sacrifices his own desires because he thinks he has some obligation to finding a mother for chris. I feel like what Kim said to Eddie in 7x9 about Eddie having too much love to give is true because he so badly wants to be in love with someone for himself, but he has convinced himself he can’t gave that because he views Christopher needing a mother figure as the more important quality in his romantic partners.

All of this to say, these are just my own thoughts and observations. I am obviously biased as a gay person who relates deeply to eddie for many reasons, and so my interpretation of his actions/words are through that lense. It’s hard for me to really see him as anything else, but just because that is my interpretation does not mean it is the only interpretation or even the right or wrong one. Until we get some form of confirmation from canon that Eddie is queer (which i think is very very very likely to happen this season) all we can do is speculate and theorize based on our own personal interpretations of him as a character— and i think that goes along with Ryan’s quote about how much he loves that such a wide range of people can see themselves in Eddie; and i think that no matter what, he is such a powerful and complex character that no matter what sexuality he ends up being confirmed as in canon so many fans of different sexualities and gender identities will still be able to find that deep connection with him and that is so beautiful to me.

I hope this answered your question! I love getting to have these kind of deep talks that dive into the complexities of human sexuality and all the nuances that come along with it (which is why i almost love the idea of them making Eddie unlabeled even though I personally perceive him as gay!)

I hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are! and thank you again for the ask 💕💕

(again, apologies if anything i said misrepresents/misunderstands the aro/ace spectrum, it is not my intention to say anything that is incorrect, but I am not well-versed in the aro/ace spectrum aside from my ace friends)

[mermaidlighthouse]

Since I’m apparently making this a fuckin series of posts…I’m gonna look at another Izzy moment/scene from the perspective that while a separate character with other functions and characterizations, Izzy narratively is a personification of Blackbeard and therefore an extension of Ed…this time we’re gonna look at the “you know me better than anyone has ever known me and I dare say the same is true for me about you” and recontextualize it around that premise…

Two things before we begin - First, this is going to be highly critical of Izzy if that’s not for you then skip it, however, this is critical of Izzy from the perspective of someone who does enjoy his character both as a separate entity and in this framework. Second, this interpretation is predicated on the idea that Izzy is both a personification of Blackbeard and that the persona of Blackbeard functions narratively as a physical manifestation of Ed’s poor self-worth and darkest thoughts about himself.

To get to the meat of the scene I think it needs to be said first, that Izzy is canonically and categorically WRONG in his assertion. He doesn’t know Ed all that well at all frankly and it’s apparent from the very first interactions between them. So, let's go through some of those:

The scenes in the Captain’s cabin on the QAR: Izzy didn’t know that Ed was so fucking bored that the idea of something…really anything…out of the ordinary would interest him. We know that Izzy has no qualms with straight-up lying to Ed. “I explicitly told him Blackbeard desired his company.” Even if you take the stance that there should be no way Stede wouldn’t know canonically famous for being Blackbeard’s First Mate Izzy Hands (which I have said before) that means that Izzy assumes he’s just that famous that he should be a known entity but, that still isn’t explicitly saying Blackbeard. With that in mind, why didn’t he just lie to Ed about losing Hornberry? He could have very easily lied about not having been “bested at swordplay”. That’s just another interesting thing about Stede…Izzy ends up being the person who ultimately keeps making Stede seem like the MOST interesting person. The fact that he couldn’t recognize that Ed would not only find Stede initially interesting but would find him even more interesting because he told Blackbeard to “go suck eggs in hell” after they’ve already been following him around is a huge indication that he doesn’t understand Ed at all, let alone better than anyone else.

The first day on The Revenge: so Izzy NEVER realizes that Ed already has a plan to get away from the Spanish. I’m not litigating whether Ed’s actions are manipulative (which I do think there’s a sound reading there btw) I’m simply saying that Izzy was unable to read Ed’s actions or nonactions to recognize he was being played with. I’m also not litigating whether the plan was sound because again my whole point is that Izzy never realized Ed had a plan from the moment Izzy found him on deck. This one may be up for personal interpretation but, if you know a person better than anyone else, it seems like you should have some sort of inkling that they are messing around with you. 

I’m not actually going to go through every interaction between them but I think these showcase that from the start of the show Izzy doesn’t understand Ed, he doesn’t know Ed. Izzy is not telling the truth, he’s lying.

Back to the original premise then

looking at this line from the perspective that Izzy functions as an extension of Blackbeard. So, a lot of the dialogue between Ed and Izzy throughout the show can be read as showcasing when you have self-loathing, the voices in your head will lie to you because you can’t see a way around them. That you can and will lie to yourself when you hate yourself because it’s easier at that point to perpetuate the lies because they’ve been what you’ve told yourself for a very long time. That you may have a skewed perspective especially about yourself. Essentially, I’m saying that Izzy functions as a way to show the audience how Ed talks to himself in his darkest moments, Blackbeard’s voice (in the same way ghost!Nigel functioned for Stede). 

Izzy telling Ed that he knows him best and vice versa is the voice in Ed’s head, Blackbeard, saying “we are the same. I’m the only one who understands you and no one else will see you better than me. I know all your darkest moments which means I know the REAL you. The version of you that I desire is the REAL you. I’m here to protect you from the darkness within and from outside because I’m your only point of contact in the world.” It’s a personification of how low self-esteem or self-worth preys on and isolates you by creating a false dichotomy where no one else will ever identify with you. Or that anyone who thinks you can grow beyond what your low self-worth dictates is “the right way to be” is wrong because they don’t know you, not really. 

It’s the ultimate mindfuck because it’s the voice in your head manipulating you from the inside, it can be very difficult to argue against your own thoughts. We see this in the scene as well, Ed never actually contradicts Izzy even though we already know there are several ways in which Izzy doesn’t know Ed.

This scene shows how Ed can easily feel as though there will be nothing but this, this constant boredom, this constant pain in trying to conform to the darkest thoughts in his head, Blackbeard.

This same logic can be applied to the "This is Blackbeard. Not some namby-pamby pining for his boyfriend" line. Izzy is voicing the idea that the persona of Blackbeard isn't supposed to have emotional entanglements. He's implying that Blackbeard doesn't want or need to be loved, Blackbeard only needs prestige and power. The desire to be loved is all Edward and Edward is nothing without Blackbeard. That Stede is an impediment to who Ed REALLY is. It's mirrored in Izzy telling Stede "I know you think you understand him." It's how your self-loathing can and will attempt to push people away. And Izzy falters when Stede proves that he actually does know Ed, he's fully aware of who Ed is as a person in his entirety and Stede is the person who is going to accept ALL of Ed's iterations. All of these lines from Izzy are lies and manipulation disguised as self-preservation.

The voice of Blackbeard is literally just how Izzy speaks to Ed…and in this way Izzy is the rotten leg that needs to come off................

This is no way justifies or allows Izzy to get off the hook for being manipulative and being an outside person who does all this shit...I'm just looking at how the show allows you to understand Ed better by giving an outside voice to the things Ed is struggling with internally. It can be both.

[emilover-1]

Mori isn't a pedo

TW: anime and manga spoilers, mentions of pedophilia, beast spoilers, light novel spoilers, official guidebooks spoilers

WARNING: my purpose isn’t to defend/justify/excuse/support pedophiles or lolicons, i have friends who have been victims of pedophilia and trust me the last thing i would do would be to defend/justify/support/excuse pedophiles and or lolicons.

CHARACTER SHEET

Basically, in his character information sheet, it says that he likes young girls, in JP it would have been young misses (幼女) but anyways, it doesn’t necessarily means something romantic, just like in the guidebook it can be platonic, after all theory, sweet red beans also appear on his likes, which- is a like in general but I believe firmly that it isn’t a romantic like, since Mori actually likes taking care of kids since in beast he literally runs an orphanage, so it makes me believe that it is a platonic type of like.

GUIDEBOOK

A lot of people didn’t understand this BUT, when he said about his favorite type is little girls below 12, doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic attraction, it’s a favorite type in GENERAL, we know that Mori likes taking care of children (beast) so it could be a favorite type as in platonic, and honestly, I believe it could be a reference to the irl author.

ELISE

Elise isn’t meant to represent Mori’s sexual desires despite the name, Elise is meant to represent his regrets, needs, and wants, nothing sexual here despite the name of the ability, I won’t talk a lot about the regrets because I already have.

In beast, Elise was a 20-year-old, but why? Because Mori didn’t need her as a child anymore, he already was running an orphanage so what he needed more was a helper, someone who could help him to take care of those kids, having another kid instead of a caretaker who could help him wouldn’t work for him.

A lot of people consider Elise a “victim” when she is an ability, she can’t really feel, she does whatever Mori wants her to, same with how she acts, she could be straight up a doll for him.

OMAKE

Omake 12, Mori says that Elise is his wife, however is that really what it should have said?

Bsd has a LOT of mistranslations, for example with Yosano in the Spanish version it isn’t specified who dragged her into the war, yet the English version says that Mori was the one who dragged her into the war.

In the JP version, it doesn’t say so, in the JP he says tsuma (妻), and while yes, if you put tsuma on the traductor it says wife, is the traductor really reliable? It isn’t. Tsuma goes from “side” and “edge”, indicating someone who is at the side of someone else, tsuma has historically been used for someone/something by the side, it depends on the context of the situation but honestly for this context I believe it makes sense to use the historical version. Mori could have perfectly used Okusan (奥さん) that directly mean wife, again I believe it’s a clear reference to the irl author who give things to interpretation a lot of times.

CONVERSATION WITH KOUYOU

This again, is used a lot for “proving” that Mori is a pedo, but again, this is another of the mistranslations, in the chapter 37 in the EN version he says “I’m touched, but the only girls I protect are aged twelve and under I’m afraid” yet in the ESP version it says “I’m very happy to hear that, but I’m only interested in those under twenty, you know?” In the anime if you put the JP audio and English subtitles it says “I’m grateful, but I deal only with those under twelve” however if you put the English audio it says “I’m quite grateful for that, but I prefer the woman in my life to be under twelve” which- absolutely sounds weird however the JP version and the JP version, from what I understand says “I’m happy but my defense range is under 12 years old” So, the prove that a lot of people use are straight up mistranslation because on every language it is different and it even variates from the manga to the anime.

CHAPTER 65

Basically, in this chapter a lot of people think that Mori was a creep towards Yosano because he liked her, and I honestly agree he was creepy, but not because of that, let’s start talking about some panels. I want to talk about this one a bit "先週まで和菓子屋の店番だった妾をアンタが無理やり徴用したんだろ" it’s translated very weirdly since it basically says on the translator as "You must have forcibly conscripted the mistress who was the keeper of the Japanese sweets shop until last week." but knowing the context I translate it to "You forcibly drag me, I was the keeper of the Japanese sweets shop until last week" however the translations are very weird, and even more because the kanji “妾” means concubine or mistress, but anyways, let’s go to the next panel.

The anime did a very bad job with this panel too, in this panel Mori says, “Such a strong will….” While having tears in his eyes and apparently, a nosebleed, however rather than being a nosebleed because of Yosano per se, its because of the strong will she has, the confidence she has. Mori represses his feelings due to being the pm boss and going always by the logical solution, in a lot of times he has been shown with regret on his face, an example being the fight with Fukuzawa, so I believe that the nosebleed is because of admiration while the tears are because of him deep down wanting to have that will. Also, his expression changed when looking at her before having the tears and nosebleed.

Next panel, basically a lot of people think that mori has an attraction towards Yosano because of this panel, in this panel he says “よ·さ·のくん私の与謝野君がお気に召したかね?” which means “Did you like my Yosano-kun?” which- does sound creepy, and I won’t defend that, but rather; I will explain. Mori wasn’t the only one who acted that way towards Yosano, other soldiers did too, but why would they? Because she was useful, with the soldiers I think that it was rather admiration for such an ability but that doesn’t change that the way they acted is weird. Mori not only admired Yosano due to her strong will, but because of her ability too. She was useful to war, and therefore she should not be attached because they could not only end up having hatred towards her which would cause her mental health to be worse, and or those soldiers could get killed and it would also affect her mental health. Sure, Mori did abuse her however it was never his direct choice to, sure shooting someone in front of her and forcing her to heal them did affect a lot on her mental health, but we also have to understand that going by Mori’s logic it would be better if she was willing to heal them without the necessity of them being at the border of death (it is shown that she COULD heal minor things).

DEAD APPLE AND LOLITA COMPLEX

This topic is very connected to the next one, so let’s start. In the Dead Apple intro, Mori is shown as someone with a Lolita Complex (ロリータ) and also in the Omake 12, let’s see what Lolita Complex mean; The term Lolita originates from the book Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, we are not going to talk too much about this right now since it will be talked ahead. The English term refers to a man who finds young girls, mostly fictional sexually attractive, yet the Japanese one is different, it comes from positive idealization and romanticization of girl’s culture. I would also say that even though Asagiri said that Dead Apple is canon, I wouldn’t consider EVERYTHING from Dead Apple as canon due that Asagiri didn’t write it.

LOLITA AND LOLICON

To give context, Lolita comes from the book by Vladimir Nabokov, it touches topics about pedophilia, the protagonist being the pedophile towards his stepdaughter that has 12 years in the book and 15 in the movie, the term “Lolita” is used a lot for little girls or teenagers in porn. In Japan, the term Lolicon comes from the book Lolita, Lolicon refers to obsession, liking or attraction towards little girls coming from fiction. Which brings us to question; Can Mori be considered a Lolicon? The answer would actually be no, I used to think that Mori was a Lolicon, but analyzing it he wouldn’t be considered as such. Does he show attraction to Elise? No, taking in account that he isn’t attracted to little girls, and that he didn’t call Elise his “wife” where does the thought of mori being attracted to Elise? It comes mostly from the dark era in the anime version where he is dressing Elise, and honestly the anime did a bad job at this scene. In the light novel, he wasn’t just dressing Elise, in difference he was scolding her for throwing the dresses while running naked, but even if we go with the anime version, there wouldn’t be anything rare since he isn’t blushing or anything else.

CONVERSATION WITH FUKUZAWA

Omake 12

A lot of people, yet again misunderstand some of his conversations with Fukuzawa and use it as “proof” to say that Mori is a pedo, yet misunderstanding is again big. Firstly, the Omake. I believe that Fukuzawa either answered like that because of a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding because; Mori says that Elise is his tsuma, and since it technically does mean wife, Mori saying “Ah, that’s the response that hurts the most!” could mean that he either said it before or he said that on purpose even though it could be misunderstood. I can understand Fukuzawa’s reaction as a misunderstanding, and the next panel makes me think that even more, Fukuzawa says that he will report Mori, yet he didn’t, which makes me think that Mori told him that Elise was his ability afterwards

Chapter 30

In the chapter 30, during Fukuzawa and Mori’s fight, Fukuzawa says “相変わらずの幼女趣味か?” towards Mori, and yet again the mistranslation is very big. The word “趣味” usually means hobby, interest, fondness and even sometimes affection, which is very different to say that it is a fetish, in some translations it even says lust which not necessarily means something sexual but most of the times it is used for sexual things, so I do not understand them using those words.

ABILITY

First, to start about the ability part, we have to state what it has been said in the anime, manga, and even light novels; Abilities are tied to the soul of the user, it reflects the pure form of the user, but what does this has to do with anything? A lot of people use as an argument of mori being a pedo his ability; Elise being a child and the ability name being Vita Sexualis, which honestly at this point I’m not surprised, but as I’ve said before; The book isn’t an erotica despite it being cataloged as such, the book is about the sexual encounters of the protagonist named Shizuka Kanai which is like a autobiography by the author. He quote on quote suspected that unlike the rest of the human race, he might be indifferent to such sexual desires, so why is it named Vita Sexualis? Again, it is about Life and Sex, yet a erotica has to awaken sexual feelings, but the book HARDLY does that, so I do not think it can be considered as an erotica, it surprises me how so many people assume that just by the name.

Thank you for reading my analysis! The first two topics are inspired by some post of plinko mori, and the lolita complex is inspired by this doc!

[bumblingbabooshka]

Elieth.

_ “I apologize again for the inconvenience.”

“It’s fine,” B’Elanna said. “We’re both going the same way.”

The Klingon woman was walking with him through the quiet city streets. They were both on their way to the transport station and Tuvok had decided to walk rather than ride with anyone else. The fresh air would be…beneficial. 

It was surprisingly calm for a city at night. Even on Vulcan, nighttime was usually when the city came to life. Tuvok glanced up at the sky, looking for stars, and found only a swath of smooth black interrupted by jagged buildings.

“B’Elanna.”

The woman straightened. “Yes?”

“Have you ever heard the word pelrinah?” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Yeah, it’s Terrelian right? For gotcha.”

Tuvok narrowed his eyes. “Forgatcha?”

B’Elanna gestured but Tuvok didn’t know how to interpret it. He was still intoxicated and it was dark. He could only really see her in the lights from the businesses they passed.

“You know…um…gotcha! Like, fooled you.”

Tuvok blinked, turning forward once again.

B’Elanna smiled. “Did someone play a prank on you?”

“It would seem so,” Tuvok said thoughtfully.

“Maybe you should get them back,” B’Elanna suggested.

“I believe it would be in poor taste given the person in question is either in hospice or-” he paused, remembering that Terrelians did not have graves or funerals. He remembered the red bag. What did they do with their dead, if they didn’t bury them? 

“It just hits you sometimes, huh?” B’Elanna asked.

Tuvok tilted his head.

B’Elanna continued. “I’ll just be walking along, minding my own business and suddenly it’ll crash onto me like a ton of bricks aimed right for my chest; oh, she’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”

“You’re referring to the Maquis,” Tuvok guessed.

B’Elanna hummed in affirmation. “I know you probably don’t care about them but they were my friends. They were like family to me, really.”

“On the contrary, I believe that any loss of life is unfortunate.” Tuvok looked at the woman’s hazy profile. She seemed strangely energetic. From what he remembered of her she’d usually been somewhat agitated, frowning, she’d most often seemed…upset. Dissatisfied. He’d expected her to be even more so after ending her marriage to Tom Paris.

“Though I do not ‘care’ in the way you might feel is warranted, I do appreciate that their loss is not something to celebrate.”

B’Elanna exhaled, perhaps laughing. “Thanks Tuvok.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes and it occurred to Tuvok that they’d never really spoken like this aboard Voyager. There had never been any occasion for them to. When they spoke there had always been a reason or some sort of pressure behind it.

He stumbled and held out his hand to stop B’Elanna from touching him. She held hers up and backed away, watching him carefully as he continued on.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked after a moment.

“You are free to do as you please,” Tuvok replied.

“Great, well…” she hesitated and stilled as if considering whether or not she’d like to speak while sedentary but then began to move again, even faster. Tuvok kept up with her pace.

“Sometimes when I think of them it’s that thing I said before. The bricks and the sadness and the…the hollow feeling. Like, ‘what’s the point?’ where nothing has meaning anymore.”

Tuvok remembered the ex-lieutenant’s past troubles. Kathryn had been disturbed by her self-destructive tendencies and Chakotay had been frightened. Tuvok had not understood why a living being would intentionally seek to injure itself. In truth he still didn’t but he understood the mindset that B’Elanna was speaking about; the urge to do nothing, to stop and stay down. 

Unlike her however, he did not desire to feel anything.

“People get that,” B’Elanna continued. “People are sympathetic about that but then there are things they aren’t quite so sympathetic about. Like the anger.”

“Anger?” Tuvok asked, avoiding a puddle. It had begun to snow. It reminded him of ash.

B’Elanna shook her head. “It’s horrible but sometimes I think if I could see them again all I’d do is scream. It’d be all I could do to keep from wringing their necks; How could you do this to me? What were you thinking? Nothing in the universe was more important to me than your life and you threw it away for some ideal that never took hold.” 

When Tuvok didn’t respond she brushed her hair out of her eye. She’d let it curl a bit. “The ones in jail thought I’d berate them for being cowards. I said I’d rather be friends with a live coward than a dead idealist. Some days I don’t know if I believe that, others…”

The snow began to come down harder and B’Elanna sighed, muttering about the weather on Earth. Tuvok held out his hand and let a snowflake hold against his skin, melting slowly. 

“Neat trick,” B’Elanna said.

Tuvok wondered where Elieth was.

“Look, I know I’m getting all…” a frazzled hand gesture. “A lot with you right now but I just thought maybe you could use someone. I know you’re Vulcan and all but…the captain feels too guilty to even face you, Chakotay’s gone, Seven’s gone and the rest of them don’t really know what to say. I mean, I don’t either but…”

Tuvok turned his hand over and thought about the ashes sitting in an urn of T’Pel’s making. She had worked tirelessly for several days while Tuvok slept or attempted to meditate before sleeping once again. He remembered Wari’s effigy.

“It is important that I move past this,” Tuvok asserted.

“Your son’s death? I think even Vulcans-”

“You know nothing of Vulcans,” Tuvok said icily before lowering his hand. “I am not…processing my grief as I should. It should not be so…present.”

Several nights he had laid awake in bed, aching. The longer the ache lasted the more fright chased after him, attempting to devour him whole. He was frightened of how much he was grieving. Vulcans could not allow themselves to become victims of their emotions. It could kill them. He was well aware of this, having nearly died from the shon-ha’lock in his youth: the burning, being engulfed by the flames of affection. 

This was a different sort of engulfment. It was weighty and draining and whenever he slept there was a voice in the back of his mind that told him this time it might be forever and that always brought with it a…relief.

“You’re right,” B’Elanna said, voice slightly rougher than it’d been previously. “I don’t know anything about Vulcans or how you’re feeling- or not feeling right now. But despite everything, we’re friends. And because we’re friends I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you ever need anything.”

She looked up at a passing hovercar. Snow was sticking to her hair but it melted the moment it touched her skin. “...You’re a good father. You care about your kids in your own way and if I ever lost Miral I know it’d be the end of the world to me. That’s all I know. The rest I can’t imagine.”

She looked at him and quickly wiped her eyes, clearing her throat. She’d always been overly sensitive. “You’ve probably heard this too much but I have to say it. I’m sorry, Tuvok. I’m so sorry.”

“Elieth-” Tuvok started before knowing how he was going to finish his sentence. “I did not feel his death. He shut us all out from his mind the moment he decided to forgo evacuation. He did not leave his katra behind or it did not come to me. The ash Starfleet gathered for our mantle holds nothing of him.”

Tuvok’s eyes burned. He tilted his head. It felt as if he were observing his body from another, detached, perspective. He disliked the weak creature he had become since his experiences in the Delta quadrant. He had no control over himself. Though the world had stopped spinning he was still stumbling and acting like a fool.

“One moment he existed. On Deneva, within my mind, and the next he did not and there is nothing but…absence, to confirm that he lived at all.” 

B’Elanna didn’t speak but she stepped closer to Tuvok as he sat down on a bench. His head was in his hands. She was blocking him from view.

“Elieth…” Tuvok began again, voice low as the snow came down around them; the vigilant Klingon and the Vulcan with tears in his eyes. “...I wonder if he sang.” _ This is a snippet of 'Tuvok: Patron Saint of Love' which you can read in full as a member of my patr*on (any tier) or on my itch*io! I hope you enjoyed regardless!

[fivewholeminutes]

there’s a part in take me back to Eden that says “i’m in a waking hell and the gods grow tired.” do you think it’s referencing the origin of vessel and sleep? as in, vessel was in “a waking hell” (reality/earth) before he shifted away from his previous life to believe in sleep (a ‘tired’ god)?

Hello there, Anon! This is a goooooooood one, let me roll my sleeves up for an answer-

This is a delicious perspective I have not considered before, however! I do believe he says "I'm a waking hell" there and I will explain later why, but for that I would have to leave the interpretation of the whole song here. And it will kinda mix the being in waking hell and being a waking hell, because I overdid it again. Apologies in advance.

For me, this song refers to the beginning of it all, to an event which was perhaps the final straw for the trilogy (or even the general idea of Sleep Token) to exist. There are parts of this song that feel like a reminiscence of a catalyst for the whole sleepy business and parts that describe the present, after Vessel got a taste of what the whole sleepy business is about. I'll try to explain that now!

I dream in phosphorescence Bleed through spaces See you drifting past the fog But no one told you where to go

We dive through crystal waters, perfect oceans But no one told me not to breathe And now the weightlessness recedes

Okay, for me, the first verse is him dreaming of the times before, of his Eden (a person, a "better" time in his life, whichever suits you). He bleeds through spaces (in the Dreamworld?) to see what he has lost and craves to come back to. But the dream turns into the moment it all went wrong, where they got lost/drowned. He comes back from the dream-turned-nightmare to the present with the chorus:

My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

(Oh god let me be feral about the chorus for a second here, ok. GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, HOW CAN YOU WRITE POETRY LIKE THIS AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DELIVER THOSE LINES SO DELICIOUSLY. WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 8 MONTHS AND I AM STILL EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS UNNOWN TO HUMANKIND WHEN I HEAR THIS- okay I am back to being normal now.)

He wakes up and remembers how cruel being under Sleep's influence is. That no matter what he dreams of (hello, The Apparition), he is always waking up to the reality, which is still terrible, despite Sleep's promises. The eyes (probably 6 of them huh) are Sleep's. Sleep continues to lure Vessel in, even when Vessel knows, after being with/serving/worshipping Sleep for quite some time now, that Sleep is going to be his downfall. But he stays, cause he has no better options, mayhaps?

And we're finally getting to the waking hell part which you've asked about!

He is in waking hell still, even if he thought he's going to escape from it. He knows he cannot/will not separate from Sleep now, but it's not like he's going to make Sleep's life easier with completely giving up. He:

isn't happy about the sleepy business (anymore);

has an attitude and WILL bite back;

will make his suffering everyone else's problem now.

Which brings me to the gods - in many interpretations I've seen, Sleep is an outcast in some sort of pantheon. He needed Vessel as much as Vessel needed him and together they are more powerful. Sleep helped Vessel in his lowest moment and Vessel, while gathering more and more worshippers, gave (and is still giving) Sleep enough power to make other gods' lives miserable as a revenge or something. Or just, you know, grow in power in general, it doesn't have to be a revenge. The other gods will be pissed off either way, because one thing all gods hate is other gods/entities growing in power.

The symbiosis with Sleep has worked for a while, but due to various reasons (Sleep getting too greedy, as gods do, not all Vessel's problems being magically fixed by Sleep's presence, miscommunication, different expectations, broken promises etc. etc.) Vessel started to rebel. He's in waking hell still (despite Sleep's promises that lured him in in the first place), so he will become one for the ones he can lash out on now (Sleep and the other gods). He embraced the become ungovernable meme. Isn't there a saying "hell is other people"? He took that literally. While he's awake, he is insufferable to all who he thinks is at fault for his current state now.

I will travel far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden

And he's happily going to continue to be insufferable to get what he wants (what Sleep has promised him when they've made their pact or whatever it is they did tbh), even if it's not reasonable to do so. He's beyond caring at this point.

And we're back to flashbacks, baby!

Well yeah, I spit blood when I wake up Sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and makeup Just two days since the mainframe went down and I'm still messed up Room feels like a meat freezer, I dangle in it like cold cuts Missed calls, answered phones from people I just don't trust Mirror talk, fake love But I'll take a pound of your flesh Before you take a piece of my paystub White roses, black doves, Godmother, rise up I need you to see me for what I have become

I really think this depicts the catalyst for going under Sleep's influence and the very moment they became entangled. Something happened (accident, death? and the aftermath of it, the lowest point, depression, becoming wary of people around him, aggression etc.) and that's when Sleep took an opportunity that would benefit them both (with the hidden agenda for later, of course). Now imagine the magical girl transformation with the roses and doves flying around and from Just Some Guy he becomes a Vessel and in the last moment of realisation of what he has done, he's crying out to the Godmother (whoever she may be!) that he's changed and probably irrevocably so.

Back to the present!

I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it And no amount of love will keep it around If we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence

He's realising that no matter what, he cannot turn the time back. Not even with Sleep's "help". He's not going to give up though, just for the sake of having something to do out of spite.

I have traveled far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden

Ok, with this one I am frankly not sure if it's "I have travelled" or just a repetition of the previous one. Can't hear it clearly and we don't have official lyrics (i am side eyeing Vessel so much rn). But. If it's "I will", it's just repeating of the things he'll do to piss the gods off. If it's "I have travelled", then maybe he's just confirming the past won't come back, even though he tried everything (has travelled far beyond the path of reason) or maybe he is still hoping the possibility to get back there physically, when everything was fine, and will fight for his Eden still. And not just out of spite.

[scaly-freaks]

Just read the newest chapter and I desperately need to tell you how amazing your writing is. I can’t quite explain the feelings that Aegon gave me in this chapter. I genuinely felt afraid as if I was in Amara’s place, like he seems so sinister and I don’t know if I genuinely just wanted to think of him as like a fun guy who ‘loves’ her so I ignored his red flags but this chapter has struck me. Your writing is so entrancing and each character is fleshed out so beautifully. I loved the part where Rhaenyra and Alicent met and I also loved how you wrote about Alicent’s marriage to Viserys and Rhaenyra’s feelings about this, because it’s also how I felt when I watched the show and I think many people sometimes choose to interpret it differently. The last part with Aegon and Amara actually made me hold my breath the whole way through. Like I cant explain it but your writing is so amazing there’s so much tension and you can feel each characters emotions so deeply. Aegon actually terrified me towards the end and it reminded me of earlier on in the previous chapters where he got annoyed with Amara when he realised what she was doing when he opened up to her. The way he was treating Jaehaera was so cute and then my jaw literally dropped when he was talking to Amara about how he was plotting on her on his injury bed like wow… You’re a wonderful writer and I can’t wait for the next chapter. <3

Thank you so much! I really, really love writing dark characters (no, really) so it felt like homecoming letting him finally lean into it. With a fantasy fic, there's more pressure for me than with a modern AU to deal with plot over characterisation, so sometimes I want to go full dark and just dive into the psyche, but then it's like urgh I gotta handle the politics, hang on -

I think Aegon definitely wants to be the fun guy, and is finding it difficult to face the fact that he can no longer be that same guy he was. He's been through a war, was incapacitated, still has scars, is the king etc etc. Just like Amara can no longer be "just a jester." It's like the sprouting of wisdom teeth - it's happening, and there will never be a time before you knew what it felt like to have them sprout. They both have to deal with it. I love that he Stockholmed you into wanting to believe he's lighthearted though bc this plot twist must have hit.

Writing Aegon is so.....URGH. Because he's such a fucked up character in canon no matter how you look at it, but I prefer him that way. I can't read depictions of him where he's whitewashed because it doesn't hit, but sometimes I can feel myself wanting to whitewash his edges a bit just to keep some warmth in the story (a bit of levity here and there ya know). But I dropped all that and leaned into the aggression of his wants and desires (he wants the throne, he wants his mother to love him, he wants his brother's undying allegiance, he wants Rhaenyra to bend the knee and never rise again) and realised, hey, if he's as intense with them everywhere else, he's definitely wanted Amara the same way but decided to "pretend" otherwise because he liked her personality more than he's ever liked his own. In all honesty he's probably jealous deep down of how loved she is in her family and wants a slice of the pie by being the object of her love ("sucking on the back of her leg to stay warm" ethel cain vibes).

And ARGH Rhaenyra...so happy with how she's turning out :") I wondered about show!Nyra and if she ever wondered what it was like for Alicent because I think she was more empathetic than Book!Nyra. And then how any woman feels in this medieval world knowing a male relative has done something as heinous as sexually assault another woman (Alicent with Aegon on the show is a clear example). They can feel however they want about it, but the rules are that they have to then move past it. Rhaenyra moved past it and decided to not blame Alicent for marrying him (at least in my fic) but also couldn't think of her father as a rapist. It's just how it ended up (but she knows deep down that he is).

Thank you so much for this lovely ask and sorry for the yapfest!!