#actually it’s probably anxiety as well | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the1970sdeadgaywizard-regulus · 9 days ago

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When Regulus walks into a room, he scans for entrances and exits. Places where other people could come in. Places where he could flee.

It’s a habit he picked up because of the trauma. Because if he knew where his parents could come in, he also knew where he would be able to escape.

His eyes will dart around rooms, scanning the second he walked in.

He memorises floor plans of any place he had to stay in for long times. He makes escape routes.

Because as a kid, it was either leave the room and get to somewhere where Sirius was, or get hurt.

And he liked his odds with Sirius rather than his odds without him.

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lovesodeepandwideandwell · 8 days ago

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It's crazy how I can be like "I'm having a depressive episode" until I'm with the right people and then it's like oh no I'm ok actually

#i AM having a depressive episode going on a couple weeks now and it's a bit alarming #exacerbated by anxiety and uncertainty and my inability to handle my roommate situation #but tonight i watched the kids for small group and read them all my favorite picture books #(we got to the end of The Snowman and one little girl was like ''i don't like that when he melts because it is sad''#and one of the twins said ''i like it'')#and i told a couple people how awful my week has been and we commiserated in matter-of-fact tones #and i messed around on my phone and read gaudy night while my CG mom and dad did lesson prep and watched basketball #and now i'm going to bed and like actually i'm ok now #tomorrow will probably bring more tears and anger and deep exhaustion at the thought of doing anything #but oh well. we soldier on. in prayer and fellowship #(i hate the observable track record of my depression being tied to obvious and beyond-my-control life situations #but on the bright side there's a presumed end date for this one #and when i look back i remember less of the depression and more of the spiritual change that happened underneath it #hoping praying for the same to come out of now)#oh yeah and earlier i hung out with a friend and her shocked disbelief that i got rejected from the job i wanted #was really a balm on troubled waters. everyone else has just been sad and sympathetic #outsourcing the incredulous anger is helpful #i haven't seen her in a while since she had a baby and i forgot how much it helps to talk through academia stuff with her

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junkboxcorner · 4 months ago

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very messy sketches of ford I did today during my trip to the doctor bc why not?

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mercutiotakethewheel · 9 months ago

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ok so realistically i know theres important character reasons Kendra (and Seth and Warren by extension) never suspect Gavarog. It’s the old society trick to set up threats as team bonding exercises, etc, etc. plus this is a new and unfamiliar world thats rapidly overtaking her real world and replacing all her existing relationships, and right now Gavarog’s like the only member of her magical-worl peer group, so she doesnt want him to be a traitor, just like she didnt want Vanessa, her only female mentor to be a traitor, etc , etc.

but also i wholeheartedly 100% believe that every time Gavin did some truly bizarre, weird ass shit Kendra was just like. damnnnn…. average home school kid behavior.

#like fr tho #is it not just #damn why is this kid whose always telling me about his social anxiety somehow not even a little anxious when we’re actually doing shit #also why is he simultaneously the cockiest motherfucker alive #oh right he grew up on a preserve #damn did this fucking teenager just casually offer to carry a full grown man on his back while jumping at full speed over ledges???#damn i always knew homeschool kids are freaks #like maybe this is my mormon background showing #but everyone knows the stereotypical homeschool kid (tm) right??#fablehaven #why does this kid just casually seem to know what hes found more than every actual grown adult on this dragon preserve?#well shit it this is what he was doing instead of algebra #this poor kid #his father should be in jail #oh shit kendra you cant say that navarog ate his dad 😬#why didnt he laugh at my meme refrence?#damn his dad was probably just like grandpa #has he ever even seen a computer before?#…… tbh breaking kendras stream of thought here #but shit maybe im more sleep-deprived than i thought

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akkivee · 12 days ago

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like if samatoki’s new piercing does have meaning then surely kuukou’s 13 and jyushi’s 12 piercings have some meaning too right??? 😭😭😭

#this is vee speaking #thank god hypmic has been detailing kuukou’s earrings better over the past few years lol it was rough out here for a while 😭😭😭😭#like not everything has to have a reason ig lol but if samatoki’s new one does #and then we have ichiro getting his ears pierced but removing them some time after the tdd break up #then surely that means the other characters who have earrings got their ears pierced for a reason right???? 😭😭😭😭#like maybe for rio it’s a relic of a past and personality he had before the military lol #and hifumi’s are for further looking the host part esp with yellow roses as his signature look #maybe it’s less number and more placement like it is for sasara and i could see that for jyushi actually lmao #like if it were for mitigating adverse effects like depression and anxiety like ear acupuncture touts #then jyushi would be the one to do that not kuukou #also kuukou shot the hell up out of his ears shortly after finding his place in bukuro so it wouldn’t be connected to anything wellness lol #so it’s probably number for kuukou and wellness for jyushi lol (style for both too!!!)#maybe i should look and see if we can match jyushi’s placement with anything lol

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mars-ipan · 3 months ago

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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!

#marzi speaks #it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing #which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about #it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me #and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind #that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember #BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being #i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying #i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works #and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school #and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease #i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in #i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society #is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart #i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done #if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it #anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me #still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks

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bacchuschucklefuck · 10 months ago

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assorted thoughts 1/when sklonda mentioned getting drinks with sandra lynn now and then I straight up cheered I was so scared for her social life being so overworked 2/straight up have no judgement on the whole ratgrinder situation on account of being a whole grown man. Im not getting into beef with fictional teenagers let them sort that out among themselves 3/sprak levefre

#not art #my oldest daughter with a grown sibling ass going I hope sklonda makes time to chill #she should be at the club. for free. they should pay her to be at the club #honestly its kind of a thing with riz too but thats more like. ok the thing is riz just fr loves mysteries #so tbh its more like if u yknow. love drawing and u draw for fun #and now u also draw for job. like I feel like thats the thing thats going on with riz #dude who playtests as a job and then goes home and plays more games. but with mysteries #but with sklonda it really feels like. its something shes Good at bc shes diligent and careful and has a moral spine #rather than something she actively enjoys. like her job is solidly her Job #so she immediately hits that alarm trigger in my brain seeing moms going about like #!!!⚠️⚠️STOP⚠️⚠️!! DO YOU HAVE A HOBBY ARE YOU CULTIVATING YOUR SOCIAL LIFE #and with her it fucking Got me too bc she just! doesnt seem to have the time to build that for herself #and the fact that she (Like Riz) is Living While Goblin in elmville and the isolation that probably entailed #like the empty nesting down the line would hit her like a baseball bat it would be Brutal #so genuinely knowing that she is casually hanging out with sandra lynn (and probably other parents in the group as well)#thats a whole piece of anxiety off my mind watching this show lmao. moms!#anyways sprak lefevre my beloved. actually I retract my vow of neutrality sprak's party better really like him and treat him right #or else.#he is prrrrrobably an artificer but personally itd be so funny if he isnt. what if hes a bard

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hyperrealisticblood · 11 months ago

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rosemary is trying to help you all decipher the symbols!! unfortunately he is not good at it

#wh #welcome home #hes actually here so i dont have a panic attack #i have this issue where my brain interprets excitement as fear and anxiety and i feel like shit #because its so used to adrenaline = bad #i should probably see someone about that. uh. oh well!!

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months ago

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I was gonna post something about dreading how shit this week is going to be. But then I realized it's probably going to be shit until late January, so. Please pray for my blood pressure and health 😭

#im really scared icl 😭#also if i had to go through months of non stop political ads and texts and emails and anxiety and and and-#only for it to not end well. my fucking god.#aaaghhh it just fucking sucks election day really isnt a 'day'#its actually just. election year.#ive been consumed by it for probably at least half this year #but not only all that thats been going on #its gonna take days for them to count the ballots probably #and in that time theres gonna be like. 5 billion lawsuits. cause thats a thing apparently #and then all that shit is going to continue until what. January 20th?#no matter the result things are going to be chaotic i feel like #but truly i am desperately manifesting gaaaahhhh fuck im so done with all this #FREE ME PLEASE I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING FREE #also fuck whichever guy put election day so close before thanksgiving and christmas #idk it all just really fucking sucks. this year hasn't been good for me #so i love that in addition to my already terrible baseline level of anxiety-#ive had another level piled on top of me #which can only possibly get worse 😭#id almost prefer the political ads in perpetuity rather than actually face tuesday and beyond #god. fuck this.#i feel like im gonna have to knock myself out and not go online on monday and tuesday at this rate #how am i even going to get myself to sleep when theres constantly eternal doom hanging over me #catie.rambling.txt

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sunsetzer · 11 months ago

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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized #to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was #i have to say #i genuinely love it here #i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing #thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me #i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6 #probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women #instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women #my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep #or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant #theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao #bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes #and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine #but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh #theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times #and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake #maybe im just jaded lmao #im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario #the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in #ff6 #my post #i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults #but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults #who bully each other and younger fans #and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger #maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao #also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot

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kingsofeverything · 7 months ago

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 1 year ago

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I wanted to make a joke post about my strategies to deal with disordered eating but it was going to sound too much like advice and while my methods more or less work for me I can't risk anyone actually taking my word for it

#disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating #I'm in the “don't eat enough or straight up don't eat squad” but I don't have an actual ED #I don't even have body image issues it's more anxiety related but I'm dealing with it fairly well #Hence why i can't really give tips to anyone else. I'm a mild case and my workarounds are probably not that good #I still want to make that joke tho

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corvidcall · 27 days ago

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i miss when you could post porn on here. and when twitter was a usable website. where am i supposed to horny post now, huh??? what, am i just supposed to keep my thoughts to myself???????????

#anime life #anyway i keep going back and forth between being like “this year im actually gonna get laid”#and being genuinely sick with anxiety about the idea of putting myself out there #i have. not bad the best experiences with people being interested in my body (historically. they have not been.)#(even when they said they were. this was later revealed to be untrue)#bleh. i don't want to do it but i want to have already done it #if id already done it before it wouldn't make me so anxious!!!!!!!!!!!#... well it probably still would but yknow

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vicktoryscreech · 2 years ago

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pretty sure i’m gonna die from some type of 100% treatable disease bc i’m so scared to leave my house for a check up with any doctor

#i’m not well!! mentally!! eventually i probably will not be physically well either #i’ve gotta get my shit together #agoraphobia #actually agoraphobic #ocd #contamination ocd #this is a very anxiety spiral thing for me to post but it’s the kinda shit i think about #immunocompromised

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earl-grey-crow · 2 months ago

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