#actually anorexia

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

Before messaging me all night/morning trying to excuse away your responsibility from posting harmful content, ask yourself:

Do you think promoting anorexia publicly is not harmful to others, but calling out/reporting blogs that promote EDs is?

Do you excuse violations of the TOS because "pro for me, not for thee?"

Do you think AN is the only valid ED?

Do you think promoting EDs is a symptom of EDs?

Do you ignorantly think that everyone who promotes EDs automatically has AN?

Do you think that triggering people by promoting dangerous ED activity is fine and Tumblr should be your "safe space" to do so, but I should forgo my own "safe space" by welcoming pro anas and their rude comments on my PERSONAL RECOVERY blog?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, feel free to Fuck Right Off!

[queervegancryptid]

please help, i haven't had a meal in four days (current as of 10/25/2024)

i'm in early recovery from anorexia and have basically been nonfunctional for months. i'm also disabled and get about $925 per month from disability and SSI, combined. i usually get food stamps, but this month, i didn't, because i never got the letter telling me i needed to recertify. so this has been a really rough month.

i'm more stable and feel stronger now than i did a few months ago. i'm even able to start back on a low dose of my ADHD meds, which i had to quit because i was having some scary heart issues.

the improvement i've had has been largely due to drinking meal replacement drinks. which i cannot afford now because i don't have any money and don't have food stamps.

i'm literally starving. i'm working on a gofundme because of the situation with my eating disorder and other things, but this is an emergency. we need help NOW.

please consider donating and/or boosting the post. thank you to anybody who does either/both.

As of 10/27/2024, this is still VERY URGENT. My partner can't work for the next few days, so things are about to get even harder for us.

paypal --> https://paypal.me/niksnotdead

venmo --> @Nik-Hartsfield // https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2098827867717632267&created=1729889548

cashapp --> $niksnotdead // https://cash.app/$niksnotdead

zelle --> +1-352-226-7347 // nikhartsfield@gmail.com

[hakeem0n]

Who am I lying I am not okay I just want to cry uncontrollably in someone’s arms, I feel so confused and scared I can’t understand what’s going on, I feel stuck I can’t keep doing this anymore

I can’t like anything about myself and I feel so fucking fat and disgusting with myself and my body, I feel like I deserve nothing from anyone but I am craving affection so bad, I feel so alone I want to cry, I wish I could just be loveable and desirable in some way.

[whsprings]

but you aren't a lost cause and you do have the time.

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

Millennials get a lot of flack but WE (yes I am opting to claim millennial for this one even though I go either way) accomplished and fought for a lot of civil rights shit. We saw a lot of progress 2008-2015. So much feminism, so much body positivity, so many LGBTQIA+ rights, so much social forward momentum as we all came of age. 2015 and 2000 are a night and day difference from before and after we all came of age. And yes, we did a lot of dumb things and cringe things, and had lots of mistakes along the way. I don’t deny that there were some very grave errors. But we were headed towards a net positive, and things were improving because of the millennial generation. We were arguing over specific progressive ideals, not “should people have rights? Or nah”. It was politically dangerous for democrats to not be outspoken about gay marriage and feminism and immigration a myriad of other things.

And Gen Z’s radicalization is tearing it all down. Misinformation and dying media literacy, right wing podcasts and propping up bigots without recourse, social media trends and speech patterns and memes upholding typical sexist standards etc etc etc need to be really, deeply, genuinely looked at and dismantled.

We thought you guys would be even better than us. We had so much hope for the younger generation. and it’s due to a lot of complex issues, and the pandemic and everything that came with it, but. The ball has been dropped so fucking hard.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD + anorexia culture is getting supply from someone saying "you're so skinny?" even though they meant it in an "I'm concerned for you" way.

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[anaalnathrakhs]

oh god ed reddit is having the “uwu anorexia isn’t rooted in fatphobia my mental illness is not abt you” talk again please god help me

fatphobia doesn’t mean “being a meanie to fat ppl” i’m begging you to use critical thinking skills for five seconds and apply what you know about literally any other form of oppression to this situation.

people’s point isn’t that you having anorexia makes them feel bad and therefore you’re a bad fatphobic person.

they’re pointing out how the deeply ingrained fatphobia our society upholds, from misconceptions about health to moralization of looks and weight, including yes being jerks to fat ppl’s faces bc they’re fat, is affecting what you think about your own looks, weight, health, body, clothes, eating habits, etc.

the logic isn’t “you became anorexic because you hate fat people so much you never wanted to be fat yourself (and that makes you a bad person)” it’s “fatphobia is a prism that transforms the root cause of your ed into disordered thoughts, behaviors, and patterns (and unlearning fatphobia will help you with recovery and harm-reduction)”

like. it’s not for no reason that anorexia is a disorder that disproportionatedly affects women. it’s not for no reason that there’s sky high comorbidity rates for eds and ocd. it’s not for no reason that people who need control in their lives so badly that they develop a mental disorder abt it get obssessed with being skinny and not with being a sumo. it’s not for no reason that ppl who feel the need to retract to childhood due to trauma envy things like being skinny light and frail, instead of being a tubby baby. it’s not for no reason that there is an incredibly common anorexic thought pattern (internal and self-directed, don’t make me say what i didn’t say) that associaties restriction and weight loss with moral goodness.

for each of these there IS a number of exceptions, but you can see case by case how the root cause (trauma, need for control, for self-destruction, growing up poor, whatever you think is “unrelated to fatphobia” basically) is processed through the prism of the fatphobic culture we’ve all been raised in. some people just, voluntarily or not, deal with those root causes in different way, which might or might not be healthy. but it’s a consequence of ambiant fatphobia that “i should starve and be skinny about it” is a statistically pretty common response to this distress.

the point isn’t “it’s fatphobic that you don’t deal with your neuroses in a body positive way uwu” the point is that no matter how cool you are with fat people on like, a personal level, you’ve been (like the rest of us) bombarded with fatphobic thought patterns your entire life basically, both directly fatphobic things and reactions to this fatphobia. maybe spoken to you directly, maybe not. maybe about you maybe about other people. you live in a society that places moral values into looks and health, and also pushes some deeply rooted falsehoods about how those things tie into each other. you have a disorder defined by obsessive behaviors. maybe, just maybe, deconstructing the logic that those obsessives behaviors are based upon will help you deal with this disorder. and recover or reduce harm.

basically, anorexia isn’t “getting skinny disorder” it’s “obsession disorder”, obsession with looking attractive, or pleasing your family, or going back to being a kid, or being healthy, or being fit, or being driven and capable, or being worth saving, or having your suffering known, or having control over something, or whatever. the fatphobia that is omnipresent (and i repeat, omnipresent, nobody is singling you out as a bad fatphobic meanie, or even talking about your behavior towards other people around you) in our society picks the direction in which many many people will express that disorder.

of course if you live in a society that tells you “being fat is morally bad” at every turn, when you start developping an obssessive pathological need to control things, without another factor weighting in, most people’s default reaction will be anorexia. food is a regular fixture of everybody’s life, everyone wants to be morally good, and even if we know/understand/believe to an extent the flaws of that “fat = bad” logic we know the world around us still believes it, and nobody wants to be treated like shit. we can think it’s stupid and fight against fatphobia and work to treat fat ppl better in our lives and support body positivity, but in any case, one always judges oneself on different metrics than they judge others, cuz we control our self-improvement. that’s natural. just it doesn’t mesh well with a pathologically obssessive need for control above self-preservation.

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

avoidant antisocial agoraphobic anorexic addict AND autistic????

alliteration :/

[torchickentacos]

Can I just say yet again how fucking annoying it is that the first recommended fix for every chronic health problem ever is like. 'have you considered developing an eating disorder and obsessively reading labels and cutting out entire food groups?'

[queervegancryptid]

Please help your local disabled trans guy get through the next few days

All my energy is going to resisting anorexia right now and trying to find help. My partner is working as much as he can, but this is hard on him, too.

I'm really tired of feeling useless and worthless and so, so fucking hungry all the time. I don't get my disability check until maybe Friday, and food stamps don't renew until the 8th. And we still have to come up with the rent, keep the lights on, and eat on a daily basis. And because I'm not able to do much of anything lately, it's been all on him, and he's been taking care of me a lot, besides that.

So literally anything helps. Please boost, and if you can, please donate!

PayPal: https://paypal.me/niksnotdead Cashapp: $niksnotdead Venmo: @Nik-Hartsfield

[hakeem0n]

I just want to be fragile and pretty. I want to be loved.

[tombfriend]

studies of some recent mirror selfies (do not attempt at home)

[lloydfrontera]

i don't think theo would relapse after rakiel dies but i do think he would overcorrect so hard to avoid it he'd end up developing a whole new eating disorder because of it. not really starving himself as much as controlling everything he eats down to the tiniest bite. not allowing himself to deviate from his diet at all and feeling extemely guilty and anxious when he does. in a horrible situation where nothing feels right and there's so little he can do to fix it, this is the one thing he has control over. this is the one thing he can do to make sure things go as well as they can. he fucked up once and rakiel had to step in to fix him but now his brother is gone and there'll be no one to catch the pieces if he breaks again so. he just has to make sure he never does. he has to control himself because there's no one now to extend a hand to help him up if he falls.

[himba-va-lele]

Really really sick of ARFID being treated as "adult picky eater" or "extreme picky eater" as if it's not a fucking eating disorder. That autistic kid isn't being difficult by only eating a certain brand of cereal and that anxious adult isn't being ridiculous by refusing to eat anything green. They literally have an EATING DISORDER.

If I see one more post thats like "um yeah well I'm autistic and I got over being a picky eater. Man up and stop having a toddler palate 💖" well I'm sure most of these people would love to (I know I would) but we have a FUCK.ING EAT.ING DIS.ORD.ER that people have DIED FROM.

Stop acting like we're being difficult or narrow-minded or 'uncultured'.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

tw anorexia

npd anorexia culture is having this itchy feeling because you want everyone know how little you ate today so you could get attention and words of affirmation but you don't do this because you don't get any and your ed is actually scary people

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